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rovenim · 1 month

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A Letter to Myself #22

It's a same date, 10th March but the difference is I'm feeling 22 in this year!

Welcoming myself into twenty-two era isn't easy, recognizing i'm turning twenty-two this year make me realize i'll face another challenge adjusting to my age (i consider it's like a game level) which is everything that happens could be different from previous years. Different levels, different difficulty of heaviness, different settings, and other things that support differences.

:::

What i did in my twenty-one era (that could be a new thing or experience in my life also changed myself in a positive way):

First time experience to create bachelor's degree final project in 6th semester, i called it as "my hectic era ever" because i still had subject classes also i took additional classes. it's really hard to balancing my thesis final project and another subject class final semester projects. ((SHOUT OUT TO MY COLLEGE FRIENDS, U GUYS HELPED ME A LOT!!))

First time i met "thesis defense" in my life (my biggest fear as a college student) my fear is failure and i attracted what i fear, shit happens. But thanks to God i was given the opportunity to improve my thesis. I changed my mindset "don't be afraid, everything will be okay. u'll made it, u know what your weakness is, and this time to change and make it stronger." AND I MADE IT!!

Bukber (buka bersama) events for the first time after the pandemic. Hip hip horaaaaay, i met all of my high school friends. Such a good moment to cherish <3

This year i decided to to collect all Junji Ito's comics (Indonesian ver.)

First time i'm going to Kwangya Store! As a pink blood, i'm lovin it!

Started to bought album after a year i stopped myself to collect album (it's because #DOJAEJUNG debut).

First time using fake nails, AND I'M ADDICTED.

First time trying ramen (re: Hakata Ikkousha) and I REALLY LIKE IT. no, I LOVE IT.

First time trying to make a vlog with a "re-cap" theme, showing an interaction moment with all of my friends.

The first time I went to a job fair and LPDP event with my friends, it was very memorable for me. after me and my friends arrived at the event and saw the many young people there, this sentence immediately came to my mind "welcome to the jungle".

First time going to Project Pop's concert with my friends, and also experiencing the rain during the concert hahahaha, that was very memorable event! a day full of funny moment and plot twist!

First time going to the comfiest and pleasing aesthetic libraries in this town: Perpusda TIM and Erasmus Huis Library.

I made lots of friends from the k-pop community (especially nctzens) that i've been met in concerts and picnic day event. they're so lovely and nice to meet u guys!

As a person who had birth in Jakarta, this is my biggest pride after 21 years. I'm going to Monumen Nasional (Monas) which is Indonesia's capital city icon. But there's a good and there's a bad, the bad thing is i can't make it to the top of the Monas because the limited quota per day. Poor me.

Waiting for a long time to get a new job as a freshgraduate when some of my friends gotten their jobs, and people around me started asking me about when i getting a job. At the same time, i tried to fight my insecurities within myself and continued to apply to all companies and keep praying for good guidance for me. I know God's plan is much better than my plan and after all, i got it at the end of the year!

In 2023, i felt i spend a lot of time to going out-life update with my old friends (who haven't seen each other for a long time). This was very rapid increase from 2022 (i'm a homie person). I went to place that i've never been there before, trying so many foods (mostly popular food #fomo).

When i look back what i've been through in my 21 era, i iknew not all good things only happen to me, but there's bad things too. Life is yin and yang. i never know how happiness feels, if i never experience sadness before, and because happiness and sadness happened to me, i know the things of life called "grateful". Last year i want myself to be more grateful than before, so i tried to be someone who always being grateful and trying to take meaning from the things that happen in my life. because i believe that if something can happen there must be a purpose behind it, and God designed my life not without purpose. Now, i'm still learning to be a grateful peson and tries to maintain it.

For this year, i want to make a change within myself that i really wanted to do a long long time ago. Change what i can change, controlled things what i can control and it started from myself. I only can change and control myself, not people around me or this universe (damn it's crazy).

I'm a people pleaser, one of my friends know i have that weakness. So, she always encourages me to get freakin out from "people pleaser bubble" and that isn't easy for me. It needs more time to awakening my bravery (???), change my mindset about how i treat people and why i need to prioritize myself first.

Start from the second month of 2024, something happened to me so i feel like i need to make a change asap. Thinking 'bout how this thing can be powerful affected to me, i feel like i need some help.

For the first in many years before, i experienced an unpleasant feeling in a room. everything has changed, including me. The longer i feel uncomfortable, i try to find out why and is it wrong for me to feel that way? after asking several people about it, everyone answered the same thing "you don't have to endure everything, say no if you don't like it."

My friend who knew from the start about it said:

"If you feel unhappy or uncomfortable, let it go. if you feel staying away is a good thing for you, do it. you don't have to feel wrong, it's not your fault. be brave. don't be people pleaser again. that's enough."

Because of their responses and suggestions, i choose to take an action to be a brave person this time. Until i posted my letter on Tumblr, i still dealing with this situation (change what i can change). Hopefully i can feel calmer and wiser in choosing which path is good for me, can stop being a people pleaser and can find the true meaning of life as a human being. Don't forget to enjoy your life, Rove.

Good luck,

Rove.

#a letter to myself #birthday #adulthood is hard #mindset #character development #twentytwoera

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messiisgodibeliveinhim · 3 years

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Taeyong

I just wanted to rant about everything that happened. So here I am.

So initially I didn't want to watch the concert because of the obvious lack of Taeyong. But i did watch it (ill*gally) on Twitter Live Stream, to see who would cover for Taeyong and how.

Okay, first of all, is it just me or was there an actual lack of preparation and production for the concert??? Like, compare it to SuperM's Beyond Live. The VCRs, the camera direction, the stage, the AR effects... Everything looked so good and exciting. But for this one, they didn't even try. The production was lacking severely and the AR effects were barely used. Everything looked rushed as if they didnt actually plan it set by set. The VCRs were just all the footages from other videos clamped together. There was nothing new or cool about this Beyond Live, even with the increased price. Overall, it looked cheap. I think, the only saving grace of this online concert were the boys themselves.

Secondly, the boys who covered for Taeyong did a good job. Obviously, no one can come close to even performing and delivering like Taeyong but the boys did fine, considering that they had to practice his parts for only 2-3 weeks. And it's a daunting task to fill such huge shoes. The pressure that the boys felt, especially the newbies Shotaro and Sungchan, to try to fill that gap, must have been immense.

But of course, NShittyzens took this as an opportunity to sh*t on Taeyong, saying stupid things like 'XYZ ate Taeyong up', 'ABC made Taeyong's song his own', 'MNO killed Taeyong's part and I think he should've been part of the original line-up instead of Taeyong', 'I hope my bias gets to shine now', 'My faves really took this "opportunity" and showed the world' etc.... Like??? Are you really that dense or just spewing bs like this cuz y'all want attention??? The same thing happened when Taeyong missed the KBS mid-year festival and the other boys covered for him for Kick It.

If y'all truly believe that you're bias only shines when Taeyong is absent, then it shows how insecure you are about you're faves talents and abilities. If you truly think Taeyong's injury is an "opportunity" for your fave, then there is clearly something wrong with you. If you think you're fave ate Taeyong up in any manner, then it shows that you just hate Taeyong. If you think Taeyong is replaceable, then you're doing piss poor job of convincing yourself. Taeyong doesn't need NCT, but NCT needs Taeyong.

He is not just the leader, but also the main dancer, main rapper, sub vocalist, the center of the group and the face of the group. He has also contributed to the group with over 30 songs and has choreographed for some of NCT songs. He is NCT's idea bank, with the numerous times he has come up with something new and interesting for their concepts or choreography (For Example: The Jungle Gym for Neo City tour, the epic finger move and Mark stepping on Taeyong for the Kick It choreography, the chandelier scene in MAW, etc) . Many professionals have constantly praised Taeyong for his creativity and excellent inputs.

Taeyong was there from the very beginning of NCT and has carried the group on his back for 4 years now. And he has always remained kind and humble, even with all the misdirected hate that he faced for years. He always puts himself down and praises all the members, no matter what. He has juggled between groups, 5 comebacks and numerous concerts, this year alone. His schedule list looks like the Bank Statement of one whole year. The way the man has worked for the past 2 years is insane. And upon that, the burden of being the leader of a group with 23 members??? Can y'all even imagine the amount of weight on Taeyong's shoulders???

And yes, the injuries he has constantly sustained for over 4 years now. We have seen various footages of him having neck braces, holding his waist and limping. He has also talked about the continuous back pain or how he was sick for 3 days after shooting a MV. SM had known exactly the extent of his injuries and still overworked him to the bone. Now his waist disc injury has relapsed and we still dont have a statement on his health or time of recovery on ANY of the SM Official Accounts. Not one word. We had to find out through a platform that's barely used and most non-twitteratti NCTzens didn't know about this whole ordeal until after the concert began.

What boils my blood is that SM knew about the relapsed injury way before, gave the boys enough time to practice Taeyong's part, but announced the concert by advertising Taeyong all over it, last Monday. And they literally only made the announcement after the concert ticket cancelation period was over. F*cking money whores! F*ck SM!!!!

The worst part of it all are the NShittyzens. Most of you didn't care about the fact that SM not only neglected the leader's health but also scammed Taeyong's fans. When TyongFs began to get refunds for the concert, some of you accused them and started dictating what they should do with their own money, pulling sh*t like- 'Taeyong as a leader, wants his group to do well. Now he would be sad knowing that fans dont care about the group cuz y'all are getting your refunds'. Really? Cuz most y'all who said this watched the concert illegally, makes it even more funny to me. And its none of you're business, how anyone else spends their money. And if you think Taeyong cares about SM losing money, then you're just stupid. If it's anyone in the whole group who'd say 'F*ck Capitalism!', it's Taeyong. So STFU!

Also, when TyongFs started demanding an official statement from SM about Taeyong, some of y'all went- "You're just a fan. Y'all dont have any right to cross the boundaries of Idol-Fan relationship and ask for personal stuff. Other artist fans didn't get any official statement, so why should you?'. We didnt ask for his f*cking medical records. We just want a statement from SM's official accounts about his health and his time of recovery. That's it. SM has refused to acknowledge the injuries of other artists before, doesn't mean that this pattern has to continue. And as fans, we are entitled to know about the artist, cuz WE CARE...! Cuz a waist disc injury relapsing aint a small thing. The amount of pain that Taeyong is probably enduring right now.... We dont even know the extent of it. We dont know how long he needs to recover or even how long SM will give him to rest. We don't know anything and we are scared. So just wanting a statement about it, isnt 'crossing the boundaries' as you put it. So again, STFU!

Y'all don't care about Taeyong, fine. The least you can do is respect him and not discredit his hardwork. After everything he has done and continues to do for NCT, y'all keep going with the 'Taeyong is the villain' narrative. He isn't stealing your faves lines or screentime. He isn't pushing them back to 'shine more'. He isnt the bad person you think he is. Y'all rejoicing now that he is injured, happy that your faves got to take up Taeyong's part or just hateful saying your fave was better than Taeyong.... It just ain't it.

No other group leader gets the kinda hate Taeyong does, even though he does 5 times the work for the group than any other leader. Yes, Taeyong has multiple positions the group, all deserved. Yes, he is a very charismatic and an amazing performer on the stage, that lures new fans in. Not his fault that he grabs everyone's attention. Yes, he is very talented in so many aspects. But that doesn't mean you get tobblame you're faves mistreatment on him, cuz he himself is being mistreated by SM. So don't come at me with you're 'SM's golden boy' bs! I will taze your ass and watch supernanny as you crawl under the carpet!

Maybe you're right about how you're faves dont get to shine enough when they're on the same stage as Taeyong, cuz his charisma and aura is very magnetic, you can't help but watch him and him only. I thought only TyongFs have this kinda tunnel vision but apparently, all of you have it as well....

Here's the thing. You don't like it when Taeyong gets praised all the time, whether its his dance or rap or anything at all. Cuz you don't like Taeyong. So why are you even focused on him and TyongFs. If I don't like anything, i simply ignore it. So instead of focusing on Taeyong, focus on hyping up your fave (again, by not dragging Taeyong, not even subtly). It ain't hard, trust me.

At least have the human decency to not rejoice over the fact that he is injured. The sh*t i see online everyday, some of y'all have totally lost it.

And lastly, no one can eat up Taeyong. No one can do his part better than him. Hell, no one can even come close to doing what he does. So get that delusion outta your heads. Its embarrassing.

#Taeyong #Lee Taeyong #Bubu #NCT #NCT 127 #NCT 2020 #Beyond Live #RESONANCE #Kick It #Respect Taeyong #Get Well Soon Yongie #We Miss You🌹#Take As Long You Want #We'll Wait #Thank You Taeyong #F*CK SM #F*CK NshittyZens #F*CK Taeyong Antis

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thesunnyshow · 4 years

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EPISODE 5: MINA

Writing Blog URL(s): @jaemina00

Name: Mina

Age: 20

Nationality: British

Languages: English, Bengali

Star Sign: pisces

MBTI: INFP-T

What fandom(s) do you write for?

NCTzens

When did you post your first piece?

This year back in late May or early June

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?

Mostly fluff because I'm a sucker for the way your heart can literally ache in your chest but also angst because it also causes such strong emotions.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

All X Readers so far

Why did you start writing on Tumblr?

It started really as just a pass by of time, I love creative writing and kpop so it just seemed the best way to cross them. I was incredibly bored due to quarantine and thought it was a good way to enjoy myself and not let my brain rot away but I surely fell in love with it.

What inspires you to write?

Any moment really. Late night thoughts or just the people I'm surrounded with. Music I think is especially great because it allows you to feel emotions without actually having to go through the experience and scenarios and then you can write based on how you felt those emotions through the song.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

Like I said before I really like fluff, recently I've been more interested in AUs like reincarnation and a lot of psychological beliefs as well as mythology and the supernatural.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

Feeling. Whether it's a feeling of happiness that made their heart swoon or the aching of sadness, I hope my reader just feel through my writing.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

I take a break and step back from my writing. Sometime, being so stuck in your mind makes it much harder to write. So I stop writing for as many days as it takes for the ideas and the flow to comeback to me naturally and without being pushed. In this time I usually try to find inspiration from music and other stories.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?

As of right now I really like 'Love Me Now' and 'Nighthawk'. Love me now is based off NCT 127's song and I loved how I just wrote what I felt in the exact moment I was listening to it, it holds a special space in my heart for that. I also love nighthawk because of how stuck I was with it. I was planning and drafting it for the longest time and everytime hating what I've written and restarting, so I have some pride in now finally actually liking what I've written. Most successful however is 'Firsts' I do love it but because it's of the first ones I wrote so there is a slight cringe to it now.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?

The only difference I see is that when writing fanfiction you have a name and a face to go with it however everything else is the same. You have to come up with how the characters are presented, what's their dynamic, what's the storyline and how it's going to be presented. You still have to showcase emotion, action and dialogue as well as everything in between.

What do you think makes a good story?

A story that has you engaged and feeling something. Like it makes you almost sad that you've finished it and makes you want to come back to read it again.

What is your writing process like?

It varies it can be like have an idea I make a plan on how I want the story to progress and how I want it to end, I try to think of how I want my characters to be portrayed to my reader and how the dynamic between characters is. Then I write multiple drafts and slowly eliminate based off which one I hate and which ones I like until I'm left with the best one and then I reread and either add or remove bits and go over grammar and spelling. Or I just go with the flow, honestly it's a process of cutting and writing again and again until I'm somewhat satisfied.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

I don't think any of my fics are good enough to be the basis of a story and I most definitely don't think I couldn't write a full original story.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

Honestly I think every trope is okay if it's well executed and well written. Even tropes that are classified as clichés are nice to read when the writing style is engaging.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?

It means a lot because it allows room for growth and development. I really just want to know how I can become better what people like so I know what is successful and what isn't.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

The fact that I like what I've written? I don't know but I think that it's important and I'm just glad that I do. In fact I kind of find that alone to be a success.

Favorite color: It changes but as of now pastels and especially yellow

Favorite food: literally any food

Favorite movie: The green book

Favorite ice cream flavor: Chocolate

Favorite animal: Giraffe

Go-to karaoke song: Can't sing for my life :/

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): I'm studying law right now so the end goal is hopefully in human rights

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?

Iced Americano or Mocha frappe

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?

Teleportation I think is really cool, just imagine being able to go anywhere in the world in the span of a few Milliseconds.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?

Probably the 20th Century, just seeing the world go through both world wars, the cold War, Vietnam and so many other political problems going on as well as so many revolutions both industrial and literal is both scary and such an exciting time to be alive.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?

I think it's fun not knowing everything, it's definitely scary but there's an exciting buzz to it also I don't think me restarting life with what I know now would make a difference.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?

I don't think I could fight one chicken sized horse let alone 100 but I most definitely can't fight a horse sized chicken. First of all, that's a big chicken and second, chickens are actually very fiesty. So I have to go with 100 chicken-sized horses.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?

Probably the main characters best friend who judges every stupid decision they make and making it clear with lots of sarcastic comments but is their nevertheless fully supporting them to do more stupid and impulsive things.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?

Yess!! I find it almost impossible that we are the only intelligence in this much bigger universe. We are just mere specs and there has to be another form of intelligence out there.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?

I can fold my tongue in a three leaved clover? Lmao

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

Yes! Just because it's based on someone in real life and isn't conventional story writing people expect it to be bad but actually there are so many amazing authors who write so many unique fanfictions. People also only expect it to be plotless but it's far from that.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

Definitely, I think art is a great medium for change. It can really play with someone's emotions and really open their eyes to new perspectives and wider horizons. Art can really change a person's ideologies on just about anything. It's powerful and allows people to find themselves as well as get lost in a world you've created.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

I don't think I've come to a point like that yet, I enjoy writing so far and maybe it's because I'm fairly new that I haven't experienced this yet.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?

No I haven't but again I haven't written much or for long.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

Yes and actually depending on how I feel about a certain piece I let them read it and ask about what they think.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

I hope you find some comfort or even happiness in my writing, I hope it made you smile or put you in your feels and you just overall find it enjoyable. Also don't be afraid to talk to me or send asks!!

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

Just go for it! If you like what you've written then others are bound to like it, as cliché as that sounds it's true. At the end of the day if you love writing, it'll show in your work and others will fall in love with it too.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?

So far no. I've had a very pleasant experience with reading other people's amazing work as well as writing my own.

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” - Thomas Merton.

BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply here.

#@jaemina00 #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 5 #nct

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