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adamwatchesmovies · 1 year

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Invasion of the Pod People (2007)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Even for The Asylum - a collection of talentless producers and directors who shamelessly trick the visually impaired into buying or renting rip offs of bigger films - Invasion of the Pod People is a low point. For a brief instant, I considered awarding this film an ironic star and then decided against it. There is one scene with some unintentional comedic value but to reach it, you've got to dig through a lot of manure… by hand.

After a strange meteor shower, Melissa (Erica Roby) notices odd behaviour from her co-workers. Her boss, Samantha (Jessica Bork) keeps insisting Melissa bring this bizarre plant home. Could it be connected to the ever-growing number of imposters living among us?

This movie is literally the same thing as Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In the past some of the feeble efforts from the studio have featured what could be described as “original stories” but this is just the same plot we saw before in 1956, 1978 and again in 1993 but under a different name and with none of the suspense or horror. You’ve got the entire plot figured out from minute one - including the ending. Before you argue the same could be said about all the other remakes, keep in mind each new take mixed things up a bit. By being made during the Cold War, the alien invaders in the original represented the red scare. In another decade, the doppelgangers made us think about conformism. The updates featured top-notch special effects or added new elements to the mythology.

To be fair, director Justin Jones does have one noteworthy addition to this now-familiar story: gratuitous lesbian sex scenes. Melissa shows no hints of being attracted to women until four pod ladies start making out inside Samantha’s apartment, tearing off their clothes in a scene that should be erotic but instead makes you feel dirty, like you just watched a real-life hidden camera couch porno. Don’t these women know these images will be out there for display… forever?

The filmmaking is best described as “pathetic”. The lighting is poor. The dialogue is even worse. It’s delivered by non-actors, some of which are clearly reading the script on their lap. You wouldn’t think a low budget would harm this plot. As if on a dare, Invasion of the Pod People proves you wrong. The plant everyone keeps trying to push on Melissa is clearly a big chunk of ginger stuck inside a random pot. They couldn’t even paint it green or something? Do they think we’re too stupid to notice? If you HAD to save money somewhere, cast twins instead of wasting your money on a crappy screen double effect that barely conveys the information you want it to. Human beings don’t act like human beings in this movie, which makes you kinda glad the sinister figures are painfully obvious. Well, I say “glad” but that’s in theory.

Like so many Asylum films, Invasion of the Pod People is an inept waste of time. The scene were the lesbian pod people try to seduce our protagonist makes for some decent jokes about “the homosexual agenda” but that's hardly worth the effort needed to stop yourself from walking away from this ordeal. It’s been a long time since I seriously considered taking the DVD out of my machine and snapping it in half like I did today. (On DVD, December 13, 2019)

#Invasion of the Pod People #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #invasion of the body snatchers #justin jones #leigh scott #erica roby #jessica bork #sarah lieving #danae nason #shaley scott #2007 movies #2007 films

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bykalopsia · 29 days

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agito 31-5, "a new transformation" special, & 36-40 notes

it's very funny how much more i enjoyed these episodes.

it was really as simple as i laid it out. 1) more focus on the superhumans 2) make the unknowns talk sometimes 3) gills came back 4) shouichi identity crisis/personal reflection

mana's arc about her powers and feeling alienated from everyone else was so good................. i love mana so much :( i think i will go to war if she's ever hurt ever

literally the second shouichi got the flashback the first time he saw the el of water i said to myself "oh. this is the show i've been waiting for."

also burning form fucks. shining form is a bit lamer but he still uses the cool ass dual sword so it's fine.

the special was soooooooo good. kunieda was such a cool character i wish he was in the actual show.................

i know i've said that shouichi is dumb but i take it back now bc hikawa. mr agito fan number one over here somehow looked at kino's weird ass agito form and thought it was shouichi's agito. how does this happen. there is simply nothing going on up there whatsoever. (mind you shouichi literally transformed like 5 feet away from him in the special and he conveniently was distracted by something else at the time. mind you he should literally know there's more than one agito bc he's literally fought with agito and gills at the same time. good god it's so incredibly stupid) anyway this development paralyzed me with second-hand embarrassment so bad i literally started watching like 30 seconds at a time. like i think the whole "hikawa thinks kino is agito" thing only lasts about like an episode and a half but it took me two days to muscle through it. thank god ozawa has common sense......

also i'm wondering if kino's sudden "no other agito needs to exist but me" complex comes from him being further along in his agito evolution process (like, it's a territorial instinct or smth) or if he's just crazy. [note: after writing all this i'm pretty sure that agito powers may have some corrupting quality to them. that probably checks out]

either way his whole deal with him and his transplanted arm is wild. the spirit of his brother preventing him from killing ryou on the operating table.......................... it's so silly. also the gratuitous shower scenes were so much. like thanks i guess. but jhfskdfhksdhfjshdfskjdfk

also yippeeeeeee hojo is back :))) i need him around being a bitch for my sanity i think.

also the apostle having his judas moment. (i mean he's been in the moment for a while but now he's outwardly said he's going against god so lol) very timely for the season. except tbh Prettyboy Jesus is kind of more like god than jesus actually thinking about it. idk man i was like 12 the last time i actually read some of the bible

hikawa getting stunlocked seeing shouichi detransform was so...... fdhsjfhdjsfksd. idk man whether or not his stupidity lands correctly for me is really at the flip of a coin sometimes it's hilarious and sometimes i literally cannot watch it.

also i have Things To Say about exceed gills but i shant bc i should hold myself to at least the minimum level of tact and decorum in these notes. i have already said too much.

anyway i think the fact that the apostle's name was shouichi (and that shouichi probably took his name bc of the whole amnesia thing) is finally going to be relevant and unless it's super quick (which i can only foresee if shouichi regains his memories again very quickly which i doubt)

also floating god children? they're probably telling us wtf went down on the akatsuki soon i'm exciteddddd. we're in the home stretch!

#kalo watches agito

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thevampirediariesdiary · 6 years

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1.21 Isobel, part 1

95% of this episode is Damon and/or Elena doing something in the foreground, while Stefan looks increasingly concerned in the background. It’s the best utilization of his character we’ve seen in a while, and I love it.

Isobel briefly pretends to be a person at the bar, telling Rick he looks good and asking about being a high school teacher, but when he presses for something more substantially like a person, she just says, “I don’t have any reasons that are going to comfort you, I don’t have any explanations that are going to satisfy you. I wanted this. You were supposed to mourn me and move on.” “You were my wife,” says Rick, “how was I not supposed to search for you?” “Because I wasn’t lost, Rick,” she tells him. Then, with a very creepy smile, she tells him she wants to meet Elena, and that he’s going to set it up. “Screw you, you selfish bitch,” says Rick. But then she grabs him by the throat and threatens to go on a killing spree, starting with his history students.

Elena is puttering around her room, on the phone, explaining that she has to help build the Miss Mystic parade float for the Founders Day parade or risk Caroline’s wrath. “But I wanted to check in first,” she wraps up. “Oh,” says Damon, “well, I’m doing great, thanks for asking.” “Check in on Stefan,” Elena says, voice teasing-light. “Oh, him?” says Damon, “Ugh, he’s…he’s terrible.” “What’s the matter?” says Elena, visibly going into crisis mode. “He’s just back to boring, straitlaced, off the junk,” Damon complains, “you’ve successfully cured him of anything that was interesting about his personality.” “Don’t forget who helped me,” Elena sing-songs. “I hate myself,” says Damon, but he’s smiling.

He asks her about John, neither of them know what he’s up to so Damon tells her to find out. “Have fun with the Mystic Queen, I know I did,” he says. Elena hangs up on him. Stefan wanders in from the shower, looking incredibly bewildered.

“Elena called,” Damon tells him, and tosses his phone back. This is a PERFECTLY executed scene!! It fooled me into thinking that Elena was talking to Stefan, and THEN fooled me into thinking that Elena purposely called Damon to check in on how Stefan was doing! It isn’t until the last second that it’s clear Damon heard Stefan’s phone ring, and then dove into Stefan’s bed to answer it, because he missed his favorite roommate. And then Elena actually talked to him about Stefan anyway, because she probably missed him too!! And they have a rapport! And a routine where they talk about how Stefan is doing! I love this era of the show so fucking much.

Apparently involvement in the parade is mandatory for high school students, because everyone’s in the gym, stressing about it. Caroline and Bonnie discuss themes for the Miss Mystic float, and then Caroline complains that everyone in her friend group is fighting. That’s how she says it: “You and Elena are fighting.” But even though all season she’s been struggling to get out of Elena’s shadow, and could very well take advantage of this opportunity to cement her position as the most important person in Bonnie’s life, she doesn’t even seem to consider it: “I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.” I love Caroline.

Elena does show up to help, but Alaric immediately grabs her and Stefan and pulls them into his classroom. He calls Damon as well, who shows up and says like he’s been waiting for the opportunity, “Sorry I’m late, a dog ate my…never mind.” He takes a look around. “What’s with all the furrowed brows?” “I saw Isobel last night,” Alaric tells him. “Isobel’s here? In town?” Damon asks. And then he makes really intense eye contact with Elena.

Damon tries to get a handle on what’s going on, but Alaric didn’t ask nearly enough questions, having been a little too distracted by his dead vampire wife. “What’s she want?” Damon finally asks. “She wants to see me, Damon,” Elena says.

Stefan, probably feeling extraneous, puts in that she wants Alaric to set a meet. Damon ignores him, tells Elena intently, “You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to.” “I don’t really have a choice,” Elena answers. “She’s threatening to go on a killing spree,” Alaric explains. “Oh,” says Damon. “I take it that’s not okay with you guys?” “I wanna do it,” Elena says bravely, “I wanna meet her. If I don’t, I know I’ll regret it.” Damon looks at her, absolutely brimming with love and respect.

Stefan is in the background, being uncomfortable with the way this is going.

Uncle John makes a visit to Isobel’s lair, dressed like either less of a tool or more of one than usual, I can’t decide. She has scantily dressed compelled humans she picked up in various places across the country, to whom she is teaching French. John does not approve of her lifestyle, but they have a mutual goal.

Elena waits for Isobel at the Grill; Stefan is across the room (in the background) playing pool. She asks if he can hear her, he nods, she tells him she’s nervous and then that she loves him.

It’s pretty precious, actually. Isobel arrives and has a very unproductive conversation with Elena, in which she’s vague about Katherine, tight-lipped about Elena’s father, and says that human life means nothing to her, “just part of being what I am”. Elena decides this is the hill she wants to die on, says, “No, it’s not. I know other vampires, that’s not true.” “You mean your boyfriend over by the pool table? Stefan Salvatore,” Isobel says. “Why Stefan? Why didn’t you go for Damon? Or do you enjoy them both, like Katherine did?” Elena is scandalized. Stefan is in the background, being uncomfortable.

Damon and Alaric are also uncomfortable, but across the street. “We should be in there,” Damon says, adorably concerned. Alaric reminds him that Isobel wanted them nowhere near the meeting, and tells Damon he can’t go in and kill her in a crowded restaurant. “She ruined your life and you still wanna protect her,” Damon says. “She’s my wife,” Alaric says, before amending, “…was, was my wife.” The woman he married is gone, Isobel now is cold and detached. “Yeah,” Damon says, “that’s cause she’s given up her humanity.” “See, I don’t get that,” Rick complains, “Stefan has his humanity, he’s a good guy. Hell, you’re a dick and you kill people, but I still see something human in you. But with her…there was nothing.” Damon looks over at him, seems to realize this is really bothering him, and explains, “You can turn it off. It’s like a button you can press. I mean, with Stefan it’s different, he wants the whole human experience, he wants to feel every episode of How I Met Your Mother, so he shuts his feelings out, but the problem is as a vampire your instinct is not to feel. Isobel chose the easier road. No guilt, no shame, no regret. Come on, if you could turn it off, wouldn’t you?”

“You haven’t,” says Rick. Damon scoffs. “Course I have, Rick, it’s why I’m so fun to be around.”

Isobel tells Elena that her forever with Stefan won’t last very long when she’s human, and that she wants the Gilbert device; Elena expresses doubt about her ability to get it from Damon. Isobel is threatening, and leaves. Bonnie walks into the grill and sees Elena sitting by herself and crying, and looks like she’s about to go over, but then Stefan wanders up and Bonnie walks away.

John tries to subtly tell Jeremy that he’s here for all his in-the-know-about-vampire needs. Jeremy doesn’t listen; he’s trying to get Anna to answer his calls and it is abundantly clear John is not the person to go to for advice on how to successfully talk to women.

Isobel comes home to find Damon playing strip poker with one of her compelled humans, making quips about hoping he’s wearing his good underwear.

Is that screencap gratuitous? Pretty much. Am I ashamed? Not enough not to post it. “I was just having fun with your naughty little minion,” he tells Isobel. When asked what he’s doing there, he reminds her that he’s the one who taught her how to find fancy foreclosed houses to hang out in, then says he’s hurt she blew into town and saw everyone but him. She grabs a handful of his hair and asks if he has the device, and when he asks what she wants with it, says she’s only doing what she’s told. “You know, Damon, we’re on the same side,” Isobel says. “Oh yeah, what side is that?” Damon asks.

She answers, “Katherine’s.”

Here it is, there is a connection, he wasn’t left entirely out in the cold – everything he’s been ostensibly longing for is the truth – so why doesn’t he look happier?

He pushes Isobel away, asks,“Why are you doing her dirty work?” “Don’t kill the messenger,” she says, “we both know you can’t control Katherine; she does what she wants.” “And so do I,” Damon says, half-desperately. “Oh really, Damon, do you?” She takes a swing at him, which he catches, which turns into making out, which turns into Damon slamming her into the ground by her throat. “Now that I have your attention, listen up,” he says. “You do not come into my town, threaten people I care about. Going after Elena? Bad move. You leave her alone or I will rip you to shreds, because I do believe in killing the messenger, you know why? Because it sends a message.” He slams her head into the ground, says, “Katherine wants something from me? You tell the little bitch to come get it herself.”

Four things about this scene: 1) I love that Damon clearly decided that strip poker was the way to lull Isobel into a false sense of security. It’s so stupid and so him. 2) Isobel is such an awful vampire. She’s gotta know that Damon is basically a century and a half older than her, so why does she think threatening him and picking a fight is going to work? As soon as she saw him in the house, she should have run…which means the strip poker worked, didn’t it? Damn it. 3) I don’t love “bitch” as a word, but notice the show is paralleling Alaric and Damon again, Rick’s “screw you, you selfish bitch” and Damon’s “tell the little bitch to come get it herself”. Their women came back for them, but they’re not accepting half-measures and empty gestures anymore. And 4) did Elena not communicate with Damon about what Isobel wants, or is Damon just really bad at negotiating? If he was in the know and being smart about it, his play should have been to pretend he couldn’t give less of a shit about Elena, because Isobel’s whole plan depends on him agreeing to help Elena. Instead, he shows up in Isobel’s house and basically yells, “The girl you’re using to get the Gilbert device from me is the only thing I care about in this world! If you were wondering what my weakness was, this is it!!!!” Idiot. I love him.

Bonnie shows up at the Gilbert house to apologize to Elena about walking away from her at the restaurant. “That’s not me, that can’t be us. You’re my friend, Elena, if you need me I’m here for you, and I’m sorry I couldn’t show you that yesterday.” They hug, Elena cries.

Bonnie tells Elena that the Gilbert device is a weapon against vampires.

Jeremy tracks down Elena at the fairgrounds to ask if she has any idea where Anna could be. Elena says she doesn’t. “Are you lying to me right now?” Jeremy asks. “Why would you say that?” Elena says. “Because that’s what you do, Elena, you lie, you lie about everything. I know what Anna is, and I know that you know. So tell me.” Elena repeats shakily that she doesn’t know where Anna is, and tries to get Jeremy to talk to her, but he walks away and she’s interrupted by Isobel. Isobel correctly identifies all of Elena’s friends and family in the crowd, and to let her know how easy it would be for her to get to them, she has one of her minions drop a trailer on Matt. At Caroline’s instruction, Tyler drives him to the hospital. “I told you, Damon’s not going to give it to me!” Elena tells Isobel desperately. “And I think you underestimate how much Damon cares about you,” Isobel says. “He’ll kill you before he gives it up,” Elena says. “Is that before or after I kill your brother Jeremy?” Isobel asks. Elena spins around; Jeremy is gone, and then, so is Isobel.

part two!

#rewatch #tvd #1.21 #isobel

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