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#haha is it bad that a lot of my beliefs and values come from games
theangryjikooker · 2 years
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Hi!
Just came across your blog! It's a breath of fresh air. I felt like I needed someone like you right now to slap me in the face. Please haha!
Let me explain... You see, as a Jikooker, sometimes I wonder why am I so affected/concerned about the personal life of two guys I don't even know in real life. I genuinely wonder why am I enjoying it so much? I feel like sometimes this whole thing gets too much into my head, you know?
I am personally the type who does hype jikook interactions, tho I try to stay cautious most of the times. The thing is I truly believe that there is something there. But truthfully, the whole "speculation" thing is extremely frustrating to me. And I think the frustration comes from the fact that I literally feel as if I'm on a big "mystery hunt" and I won't get satisfied until I get to know the truth. Does it makes sense? I do realize how toxic this is and that's why I'm writing this to you.
I would like to understand...
Hahaha, hello, anon! I won't be slapping you in the face. 😂
I've had another anon feel the same way as you, although I think they were far more upset about their role in fandom and how far into it they'd gone. In contrast, it sounds like you know that this is something you experience and yet you maintain a good sense of humor about it, so I wouldn't be too concerned.
It obviously depends from person to person and the extent of their obsessions, but generally that fixation is encouraged by constant exposure to them (and everything else that occurs when generating the foundation of parasocial relationships).
Not many people fall quick and hard into intense shipping; the intensity develops over time. So it's a mixture of that and also (more than likely) your own experiences projected onto them, even if it's subconscious. I'm not your therapist, so I'm barely grazing the surface when I say this and it might be inaccurate in your case, but for instance: a person with untreated depression will consciously/subconsciously seek out different coping methods. For some, that might be food, and for others it might be living vicariously through others' lives to the point where it feels like they're actually a part of your life in a way that feels intimate. This is all in an effort to avoid addressing what's happening with them in their own lives.
I'm oversimplifying this, but there are common behaviors and backgrounds in people who are fixated on lives outside of their own, and there's always an underlying reason for that.
Your average person who is otherwise content in every aspect of their lives generally won't find value in anything that doesn't further what they want to accomplish (internal or external). Fanatically following the lives of celebrities and overanalyzing their actions/words with the sole purpose of ensuring that narrative is correct doesn't benefit someone like that. It might provide short-term satisfaction, sure, but they're also more than likely the types of individuals who'll easily move onto something else when their interest no longer serves them.
And I think the frustration comes from the fact that I literally feel as if I'm on a big "mystery hunt" and I won't get satisfied until I get to know the truth. Does it makes sense? I do realize how toxic this is and that's why I'm writing this to you.
You bring up an interesting point about the concept of shipping, which boils down to wanting an answer that you may or may not get. This idea of not knowing creates discomfort in a lot of people, and the desire of knowing isn't inherently bad. I, and I'm sure many others, are interested in the idea of whether or not Jikook are actually end-game, but I'm not in any way compelled to pursue it and am not going to be affected if the results don't fit what I'm anticipating.
I'll also add that what you're describing isn't toxic. Behaviors become toxic when such a hyperfixation begins to have adverse effects on your social environment--when your need for your beliefs to be true trumps social niceties. Prioritizing fantasies over reality is another one, and while preferring fantasy over reality is also not inherently bad (unhealthy, probably), it becomes toxic when that fantasy has to exist at the expense of others.
Anyway, this is an explanation that I can offer you. It differs from person to person, and why you do what you do won't be exactly the same as another. I hope that you find even a little bit of this helpful. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat, but honestly it doesn't sound like you need to be overly worried. 💜
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ultramanyaoi · 7 months
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idk what u already got so i picked a lot just in case but 1, 8, 13, 16 and 21 for the ask game !!
THANK U HEHEHE
1 hmm lemme think. for knb i feel like u know as well as me that it's probably kise or kagami. people dont give a shit about side characters enough to mischaracterise them consistently but i gotta be for real some of u have never read knb i dont even believe you've watched the anime. like you know. people who outright deny that kise was only putting up a nice front at the start or literally entirely msiread his main motivations with super reachy inferences (not even supported by textual evidence mind u) in order to create yaoi. like ive seen people read him in a way that i couldnt even recognise who they were writing about in their analysis it's like kise fans and I live in 2 separate worlds. and i dont even get it because kise probably has the clearest character arc out of all of the generation of miracles maybe next to midorima who shares a similar amount of screentime as him. the idea that someone who is motivated by their desire for something fun and challenging coming to find this consistent motivation in something else more mature and more fulfilling in being the best for their team and deriving strength from that... isnt even that complex of an idea. it's a very natural progression for kise to find that out.
also for kagami. he's so simple as well. he's passionate about basketball (consistent character trait) and he comes to care intensely about seirin and their beliefs, inspiring everyone to do their best (outright stated) kagami is likened to light not just because of his talent but as a reference to purity and how his presence into the lives of others brings them to clarity like brother it is not that complex. he's not mean, he's rough. but idk i guess that's not enough for people because kagami has to be mean ig when theres alr a mean boy! mean BOIYS!!!
for ultraman it's my blue man hikari. why does everyone love to characterise him as mean and inhuman like bro landed on a peaceful island of sentient crystals and immediately vowed to become a prophesised hero to save them after they reveal a prophecy of destruction to him. like one of his most consistent traits is like despite being a scientist he is easily swayed by his heart and acts impulsively to try and help n like in mebius theres a whole thing about being guided by your heart whatever. your heart is the root of who you are the foundation of ur values and like both the sentient crystals and mebius explicitly recognise at the heart (haha) of hikari's actions is a pure kindness. he's kind! dont get it twisted
also mayoi but uhm whatever
more under the cut
8 i feel like ive already covered it above but probably like that knb is anywhere as yaoibaity as like free. i alr told u this for the curious audience there isnt even that many gay people. yes kuroko and kagami might be argued as such but like it's just yaoi goggles. midotaka isnt real. you looked at one scene and extrapolated takao's entire character to make it revolve around midorima while forgetting his every other appearance. like no it's not just about takao i alr said this! when midorima and takao get their own duo special power... it's representative of midorima's acceptance of all of shuutoku and finally being willing to compromise with the common regular people (like takao) and finding himself better for it
13 hanamiya probably... i you know as well as me how they mangle him (one of the arguably funniest knb characters so gag) into a bad boy mafia otome character from a jungkook wattpad fic.
everyone in enstars get horrible blorbofication but the worsts to me are arashi, mika and shu. people love to make arashi toothless the way they do to kise as a result she''s just like generic transfem rep to them like her personality beyond being nice is non existent to them so like. they dont get her at all or like the entire thing about her putting on an act or wanting to become the person she is like playing. it's actually extremely ironic how misogynistic it is to reduce this female character to being nice and nonargumentative and flat while trying to be like progressive because youre not weird about transfem characters. and mika and shu get kinnied to hell and back it's terrible
16 i dont get yn for knb at all. these are all very mean children. trope i hate though is like the miserable sad backstory that kuroko secretly has that like plagues knb fanfiction. like hes normal. he doesnt need a sad backstory hes already a complete n good character. they never even do anything interesting w it either other than angst fuel and in the process totally mischaracterising him like whattttt. or like the gom as a family. i legit cant read like a solid 70% of the knb fanfiction on the internet because i know that the author didnt read thoroughly enough just by that tag.
for like ultraman idrk. i just hate people hitting tregear w wife beam like yes hes a dramatic sopping wet gay man in his 40s but emphasis on the 40s bullying the 15yo son of his ex part. like he's pitiful but i also hate people writing them like that. its good when hes a freak though
21 uhm idrk like. idk i didnt think the rakuzan finale arc was that good. which is rlly disappointing because it had a lot of pieces that were the culmination of all of fujimakis work but also like super duper absolutely not fully fulfilled at all. sooo much love was put into the flashback arc that like i genuinely believe fujimaki had no idea how to match it w the finale.
like u know the three senior regulars getting their own moments is Good... but i alr complained about how actually kinda meaningless izuki;s is and like it's fine it's good. it just also sometimes doenst feel like a final boss fight but iddk. like i feel akashi shdve had a bit mroe to him
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yumedeshouka · 2 years
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"Critical thinking includes these two skils, critically (of others) and awareness (of self)"
Julie Bogart - Raising A Critical Thinkers, a parent's guide to growing wise kids in the digital age
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My work colleagues told me a story about her child's friend. She said that the girl confess her feelings to her friend, and her friend is a girl too! Quite a taboo in my country. But what intrigued me is that she said that the girl is influenced by a manga.
Others come from my friends who said that her child exposed to child predator while playing online game. Due to that her child knows a lot about unappropriate words and think it is normal. It is hard to distinguish those things since my country doesn't have any sex education so basically we don't know anything about which one is appropriate and which one is not.
Well, I did read a lot of manga in my early days, I did know about all those things quite early probably compared to all my friends, but it didn't affect me. I did use a lot of "swear word", but I know when to use it. At certain point, I could distinguished what is acceptable and what is not (based on our environment norm) and act accordingly. I didn't consume all those things raw.
I often ask myself how can I survive from all those "bad influence". Did my parents actually supervised me? No in fact they didn't know that I read a lot of manga that is unproper for my age. They did give some value of their live to my unconscious mind. I could actually drift away from that but I choose to stick with my own famliy belief. So why, I did that?
Honestly I don't know. Probably along the way, I did practice a critical thinking without me realising it. I am pretty much aware what is my family belief. When I was faced with option (influence from my mang reading) I decided to choose what I can learn and applied in my life and leave all the rest that is unaligned with my family belief. Maybe deep down I know that I will get into trouble hahahaha. Let say I never had boyfriend during my school life. Did my parent ask me not too? The answer is yes. Did I do that because of my parents? No, hahhaha I was quite rebel. I didn't have boyfriend because I think it just a waste of time. After comparing the pro and con according to my situation that time. I decided it wasn't necessary so I didn't have one and didn't seek one although I have opportunities to have one.
Often as a parent we try to teach kids what is right and wrong. But we couldn't supervised the kids all the time. With all this growing information even adults struggle to make judgements which one is the truth. Kids is always curious so it's impossible to stop them. Preparing them to think critically is a good starting point. This book remind me that it's not easy. As you need to be challanged with things that is beyond your believe. I need to learn self control not to make prejudice and judgement that blind me from making a critical thinking. But even up until know I repeatedly clouded by my own argument, makes me unable to make a clear thinking.
Reading the book make me realise that parenting is not (and never been) easy. When I realised this I became more appreciating those who decide to be a child free family (I always admire those who have children and thought a little bit negatively for those who did child free family). I am certain it's not an easy decision, but perhaps that is the answer for their worries for rising the child. So have I been mentally prepared? Well, probably not now haha. I still need to learn a lot. Still lacking the skill of self awareness. hahaha
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cobaltfluff · 2 years
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current post-endwalker mood
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ootahime · 3 years
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analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga p2
part 1 is here :3
this post includes more excruciatingly long paragraphs so grab urself something and enjoy LOL
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chapter 40 
i know they’re not interacting in this panel but i still want to bring it up.  i’m gonna give some context to this scene in case someone needs to jog their memory.  so basically, mei’s ability to command crows is what allows the staff to observe the students from afar.  however, gojo notices that there’s lack of footage where yuuji is and asks mei why that’s so.  she tells him that they’re animals at the end of the day so she can’t control what they look at.  he doesn’t believe her so he asks her whose side she’s on (for yuuji’s execution vs against yuuji’s execution) to which she responds with, “whose side?  i’m on the side with money, of course.  there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money.”  in other words, she’ll always choose the side that offers her more money because she doesn’t care about how morally “correct” or “incorrect” something is.  it’s not worth fighting for a cause that doesn’t benefit her in the long run which is why she views things that are unable to be bought (friendships, relationships, favors) as useless - they can’t be exchanged for money.  it’s clear that gojo knows she’s not on his side because he replies with, “spoken from experience!” or “i wonder how much!” (translation varies).  he says it out loud to perhaps let gakuganji know that he’s onto him.  i find it interesting how utahime is in the panel as well with a “?” to express her confusion at his words.  let’s overthink dissect that.  why is she there in the first place? if the message was to let gakuganji know that gojo is aware of his ulterior motives then a panel with gakuganji and gojo would have sufficed.  why add utahime with a question mark? 
here’s a personal headcanon of mine that makes no absolute sense, but who cares? it makes me happy LOL.  so let’s examine the panel.  gojo’s face is more simplified and cartoonish with a grey background on top and some sort of white bubble surrounding the three characters.  gakuganji is staring at utahime and gojo.  in the official viz translation, he replies to mei with, “i wonder how much!”  
normal and logical explanation: shading the principal by asking out loud how much mei was paid by him to avoid monitoring yuuji.
gojohime brainrot explanation: 
mei: “there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money”
gojo: (in response) i wonder how much utahime’s love would cost if it did have a price.
utahime: ?
you’re probably thinking i’m delulu (true) BUT HEAR ME OUT.  IT WOULD SOMEWHAT MAKE SENSE IN THIS CONTEXT...
mei’s saying seems to be what she lives by.  relationships, love, friendships, etc. do not matter to her as this is evident when she ultimately abandons everyone in shibuya to escape to malaysia, selling all her stocks before japan’s economy goes down.  she doesn’t care about anyone else.  she even takes advantage of ui ui’s adoration for her.  she contrasts utahime.  utahime is loved by her students.  children, especially teenagers, are picky when it comes to choosing the adults they admire and respect.  while everyone trusts gojo, they do not respect him because of his childishness and overall absurdity.  it’s refreshing to see how they always call him an idiot or have a -_- face when he’s around.  when akutami says everyone absolutely adores utahime-sensei, it says a lot.  we haven’t seen her interact with her students all that much, but she’s obviously close to them because she’s frequently arguing with momo.  even a closed off person like mechamaru wanted to keep her away from danger.  she most certainly expresses a lot of concern and care for her students, and gojo and her students can pick up on this. 
i’ve talked about this in every post LOLOL but there’s a reason why he went to utahime first to help him investigate.  utahime is a loyal person through and through.  she would never do something that harms the students even if she was offered everything in the world.  she values relationships above everything else.  besides her concern for the students, how else was i able to come to this conclusion about her character?  well, she got shoko to stop smoking because she was worried about how it might damage her friend’s health.  from these two details, it’s obvious that she’s the complete opposite of mei.  
maybe that’s why he calls her weak.  she’s too selfless and compassionate in a world where every sorcerer is for themselves.  the world is cruel as a sorcerer.  no matter how hard you try to fight, in the end, you’ll always die alone.  remember his talk with megumi after the baseball game?  after witnessing megumi pull a sacrificial bunt to help his teammates advance, gojo has a talk with megumi about his attitude and potential.  he says that being selfless and caring about others is not a bad thing, but in a world like this, where people always die alone, he is wasting his potential by being concerned with others.  it’s okay to be selfish.  this is why we see fierce independence in a lot of the sorcerers like mei, nanami, and gojo.  they each have their own reasons as to why they work alone, but it’s still a common characteristic.  i feel like utahime doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body.  i speculate that her selflessness is the exact reason why she is being held back.  during her mission to exorcise a grade 1 spirit by herself, the final task before being promoted to grade 1, she likely got distracted trying to help civilians out of danger and failed her mission.  he’s right when he says she doesn’t have the guts to be the traitor, utahime doesn’t have it in her to do something so boldly solely for her own benefit.  
after this long tangent, how does this relate to your headcanon, ootahime?  
as you know, love is not transactional.  you can’t pay someone to love you.  what if gojo is asking himself how much it would cost to buy her love.  hence, her confusion because she is oblivious to what he really means.  it could be probable because gakuganji is observing not only gojo, but utahime as well.  so what gojo says must involve her too, right?  
or she could just be confused because his words seem out of place because she is unaware of what gakuganji is doing behind everyone’s back.  that explanation makes sense for viz’s official translation but it doesn’t make sense when he says, “spoken from experience!” because his words make sense in that context.  he’s basically saying that mei’s beliefs must be based on her past experiences so he understands why she feels this way.  that’s an appropriate response to mei’s statement so i don’t see why utahime would be confused by this.  unless i’m interpreting this whole scene completely wrong.  in that case, whoopsies!  
let me know if you’re confused because i’m willing to clarify.  idk why but i found this really difficult to explain.  maybe because i’m reaching so hard haha
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chapter 40
he finds any way he can to tease her.  they seem like a married couple watching a movie or something.  does he take pride in being the only person she doesn’t get along with?  i mean, she says it herself so he is aware she thinks he’s annoying, but he keeps picking on her anyway.  he doesn’t even pick on his enemies this much LMAOOO i think the only other person he likes to make fun of is gakuganji but he does so because he doesn’t agree with his views.  with utahime it’s different.  he trusts her a lot and even looks out for her.  
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chapter 44
why are there two separate instances of gakuganji observing utahime and gojo’s interactions from afar?  nah i’m just playing.  he’s just looking because he’s concerned she’ll run into the semi-grade 1 curse he had for yuuji.  OKAY BUT I NOTICED SOMETHING KINDA CUTE?  whenever utahime says something suddenly, he always has those 3 little triangles near his head.  it’s like he’s thinking, “oh!  utahime is speaking, i must listen <3″  look at his face too.  he’s looking at her like :O
this is also an example of her showcasing her concern for the students in front of gojo.  i feel like he questions why she’s so caring because if it were him, he would have left the student to figure it out themselves.  i really wonder how she would react if he answered her truthfully when she asked what he’d do if she were the traitor.  
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chapter 45
there’s not much to say here...they’re just cute.  i know it’ll never happen but i’d like to see them fight side by side one day.  i’m aware that gojo works best alone but i just want to see how they’d work together, okay? 😔
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chapter 45
see the little triangles on his head again?  UGH SO CUTE.  
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chapter 45
IS THIS NOT INTENTIONAL???  they share the same thoughts.  he even finished her thought.  mannnnnnnnnnnnn what is akutami doing?  giving us false hope and stripping it away just for fun?  making them work so well together for what??
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chapter 52
cute how he looks out for her.  i have nothing more to say LOL
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chapter 53
notice how they’re sitting across from each other?  HEHE
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chapter 53
yet another instance of her caring for her students in front of gojo.  in the anime she has the cutest expression when she says she’s glad the students are safe.  i bet gojo saw that too.  i also bet that she looks prettier from his point of view.
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extra
from the manga and light novels, gojo and utahime are the ones that talk about sports the most.  he most definitely chose baseball to cheer her up.  it’s not a coincidence people!  
--
i feel like i had a lot more to say but i completely lost my train of thought while writing this, especially with chapter 40. i’m once again writing this at 4 in the morning LOL........  please please please add on or share your thoughts!  thank you for reading and sorry for any mistakes.  
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lapithae · 2 years
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I meant to tackle this earlier, but like... I had to think a lot about this. And this still isn’t all my thoughts. But Long Post Incoming regardless.
I really don’t have much to say on your take on the Chaos ending. It seems pretty spot on. I know SMT tries to push Neutrality, and therefore humanity, but this is probably the first one that tries to make the concept of wanting to worship different gods a bad thing.
However, I do have a ton to say about SMT and their treatment of Abrahamic religions.
I feel like the idea of ‘Law bad’ sort of stems from the fact that the Law faction became an almost exclusively Abrahamic faction, in the eyes of a culture that doesn’t practice monotheism, and therefore has a much different idea on the viewpoint, which generally results in ‘you’re a stupid, blind idiot if you believe in God/Allah/YHVH etc.’, which isn’t... it isn’t really a nuanced take. A lot of people find comfort in their beliefs, whether their religion is monotheistic and polytheistic, so it does end up coming across as a ‘sick dunk’ written by a Redditor trying to make a ‘based post’ on why religion is a plague.
Making the factions into a religious divide rather than an ideological divide that encompasses religions is probably where a lot of the issues come from. The ‘Law’ faction, ideally, is a faction that should function under the belief that humanity is self-destructive, and therefore needs absurd and constant supervision. I’m sure most people would disagree, but it leaves a level of individuality, and directly contrasts with the Chaos factions overabdundance of freedom, leading to a ‘survival of the fittest’ world. 
The ‘Law’ options in SMTV felt ‘off’ for me for a reason, and that’s because you’re mostly just echoing trite rhetoric such as ‘God is right all the time’ and ‘The angels will surely guide our way’, which basically slammed in the fact that ‘Law = Christian’. The dynamic in SMTV isn’t ‘what road do you want for humanity’, it’s ‘do you believe in God or not’. And SMT’s take on the Abrahamic God ranges from ‘yeah, alright’ (SMTII) to ‘haha what the fuck’ (Apocalypse). 
Listen, I’m fine with making God the bad guy in some routes. But it needs to make sense. Narratively, I can accept it when God is written to be more like an overbearing parent who’s idea of love and protection seems oppressive, and so you fight against him like a rebellious tween trying to prove that you can stay home alone without a babysitter. But when God is written to be an overly antagonistic despot who’s actively trying to hurt people so he can get some more ‘god clout’, then you’re starting to jump the shark a bit.
Funnily enough, Persona 5 handled the concept much better than the mainline games. Go figure.
Moving on, that’s probably why people massively preferred the New Law ending in Strange Journey: Redux. Because you’re not being overreliant on God and Abrahamic values, and yet the ending still has that idealized utopia that represents the Law faction. It’s a ‘good ending’- chilling, considering everyone’s still kind of brainwashed into living that utopia- but as far as SMT endings go, it’s good.
And the thing is- if they didn’t make Law an overly antagonistic, Abrahamic faction, more people would choose Law. They literally shifted a ton of Law-aligned demons over to Neutral in order to make Neutral more appealing, and Law less so. Law has become equated to religious submission, and not an ideology that wants the best of humanity, and may become overbearing and it’s attempts to do so. 
Ironically- as much as I’m talking about Law, I’m not really that religious and I tend to end up with Chaos endings, if not Neutral. I’m a Non-IV!Lucifer simp. I’ll admit it. 
Jokes aside: Ideologically, they just appeal to me a little more. But if I realize as I’m playing that the faction I’m fighting against is basically a bunch of cardboard cutouts, then I start to feel a little bit concerned about how these different aspects are being written. Dazai in SMTV literally has a fucking mental breakdown where he goes ‘full Law’ in the most unappealing and laughable way possible.
Long story short: Nocturne was on the right track when the endings were more ideological, and not so reliant on trying to fill in the ‘Law’, ‘Chaos’, ‘Neutral’ bubbles.
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sjw-publishings · 4 years
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Man-aging your time
Foreign Relations
(Asian twist on @dumb-and-jocked story, Corporate Progression)
Edgar Han was never fond of conferences, specially ones he was forced to attend due to pressure from his company. As a college intern, he gave it his all to ensure a good grade and possibly a head-start in his business.
He was wrong.
Working at Wong.Inc, the 21 year old was constantly asked and tasked with menial errands all day, filing papers and serving coffee. Now he was asked to be an usher for a conference meeting with TenHaken Corporation.
Dressed in a black polo and khaki pants, he tapped his dress shoes impatiently, being forced to come far too early and way before any of the other interns showed up. He was pretty lean, sort of lanky as he did not do sports. Long hair was tied to a ponytail, as he kept it maintained and groomed so as to not leave a bad impression.
He wondered if it was because they were aware that he and his boyfriend, two of their interns, were gay. But he seemed to be getting the shorter end of the stick...maybe cause he actually cared about his grades and future career, they ended up treating him harsher?
Nevertheless, he did have a slimmer of hope, maybe if he left a good impression today, he could maybe...
“Aren’t you going to shake hands with me?”
Standing before him was a tall, handsome daddy who was bulked up with muscle, thick biceps straining against his suit, and the most devious looking grin that screamed corporate evil...but....it was so hot.
“S...Sorry Mr TenHaken Sir!”
He extended out his hand, as the Boss of the other company grabbed it and gave it a good shook. Snapping his mind away from his worries...and distracting it with...his strong scent infused with cologne.
And those hands, those warm..., and manly hands.
“So you are one of the few interns that...?”
“Yes...alongside my boyfriend...”
He responded in a daze, entranced by the scent. Yes he may go through several hoops just to impress the higher ups, even at the expense of his relationship with his boyfriend, but he would never reveal their relationship in a workplace setting...especially considering some of the higher ups may be homophobic.
A brief wave of disgust shown in the Boss’s countenance, before he returned to grinning madly as he let go of the shake. Giving a firm pat on the young asian man’s back, he spoke in his richly, deep voice.
“Splendid, you’d be perfect...”
The man sauntered into the conference room, bringing along most of his musky aroma and thick cologne with him...but of course, leaving some behind. The young intern blinked, realising what a poor attempt of a greeting that was, and to the BOSS of the other company too!
What is he going to do?
“Did ya watch the game last night?”
Snapping out of his thoughts, a suburban looking man in a suit asked him the question, sticking out his hand with a dopey looking grin. Almost sporting a similar thickness of the cologne the Boss wore...but more mild...and friendly.
“Uh...maybe I did?”
He grabbed ahold of the other mans hand, giving a firm shake as rehearsed. He may just be an intern, and maybe he fumbled with the greeting with the Boss, but he was going to give it his all with the next few introductions.
The shake, while it was a matter of seconds, seemed to last longer in his mind, as he felt the warm spreading from the thickness of those fatherly palms, and rough wrinkles that had definitely were from the years of prime in his youth.
“What maybe I did? Of course I did!”
Of course I did? He thought, scratching his head with his other hand, which felt oddly warm as well. Mirroring the other, as those palms expanded with a former grip, sun-kissed tan bathing their digits as it spread all over their palms. Crunching the older man’s hands, as the university intern smirked.
“Of course I did!”
“Atta Boy!”
The older father figure looped his arms around him, as he...slightly reluctantly, did the same. The tan had spread down his wrists, past the forearms and to those biceps. Giving a firm masculine boost as testosterone swelled his arms, thickening like he definitely lifted a lot.
He wasn’t into sports much, but he did lift a little...especially after some pestering with Mr Craig, the really nice man from the other company. Tasked to do some stock checking and other stuff before the event, they chatted quite a bit and surprisingly had clique very well.
“So what are ya doing out here shaking hands?”
“Oh I...uh was asked to shake hands?”
“What are ya talking about? That stuff was for the interns!”
Bedgaric blinked, interns? But wasn’t he...no. He moved past that stage a couple of years ago, and thinking back, the company never asked him to go stand at the door and shake hands when he was interning in Wong.Inc.
But he felt like...he needed to do this. Setting a good example for the future interns, and hoping they don’t slack off like his lazy young boyfriend. Straightening his back, not noticing he was now about the same height as Craig.
“Its merely in my good nature...gotta reflect well on the company!”
“And that’s right why we bonded right away!”
The man beamed, feeling at ease with his colleague as they were often paired together to strengthen relationships between both companies. Despite the obvious age and ranking differences, it was clear to the company that he was fit for the job.
As his mentor-figure rubbed against his sore shoulders, his shoulder blades clacked, as it was evident that the dark tan worked its magic there. Working out and making up for those wasted years, the 28 year old definitely made gains as his back rippled against the Polo tee he wore. Strapping muscles that he could recall several men, and girls ogling after him on a daily basis. Though he was into boyfriend Conan, many others were also into him too.
“Anyways...remember that bit? TOUCHDOWN!”
“Ah yeah! Man was that CLOSE!”
Resting his strong muscular arm easily on the other man, he was really into football, though he never made the team when he was younger. Too much of a pansy back then, but Craig really manned him up like the big brother figure he is.
Often watching football during the breaks, and a couple of roughhousing with Craig and a couple of his older friends. They had a blast!
Bendgardict, being the tall and bulky asian man he is, was assigned to be on defence. Recalling the impact the football nearly hitting his core, but his strong goalkeeper-esque hands catching it...definitely something he picked up during his soccer days.
Indeed, he had played soccer a ton, he was a jock after all. Legs thickening to hard trunks, as the hot tan spread with light dusting of hair at every spot. Feet surely sprung forth, as the heavy clunking of those dark polished dress shoes now spotted his attire.
Giving a huge SWING to Craig, broad shoulders rippling beneath his attire, he crossed his arms and smirked. Clutching every football toss to his core, abdominals crunching numbers as pectorals bounced back with even more force, a defender to the core, that’s the man he was.
Standing firm and tall, his polo shirt could barely contain the rippling maturity as the sound of satisfying rips echoed his larger bod. Material shifting to a more presentable cotton, bleached white as sleeves rolled themselves neatly down his arms. Spotting on a white dress shirt with the first few buttons unbuttoned, accenting his frame like the Chad he is.
He had some hesitations displaying himself, but he shook it off, knowing if God gave him a body like this, he should use it to the fullest. God? Must be Craig’s Church influencing him quite a lot, he believed, still new to it though.
“From production manager to executive director...Eugene definitely went bonkers last night...”
“Hah! Serves him right to go against our team!”
The two of them continued chatting about work experiences, the game, and altogether men stuff. Time flew by effortlessly, alongside maturity. The Associate ranking up as they laughed heartily.
It wasn’t long until the asian man surpassed his peer in height, stopping at 6ft 2. He laughed heartily like a big brother, even though he was clearly younger...not by much, 5 years or so.
But he certainly ranked up a lot, after all, he did share similar beliefs to his higher ups and colleagues...those ‘hip’ millennials call them boomers, but their values really resonated within him. Something his...intern would not understand, with all his constant flirting in the office.
Presentability. An upper coating of expensive fabric layered over his dress shirt, as well as replacing that of his pants. Beige with faint magenta straight lines, ironing the wrinkles over his suit pants and jacket combo with a matching pocket square.
He had earned quite a handful sum after all, spending it wisely in investing in stocks and proper attire. Not like those games that millennials waste their money on.
Masculinity. This was done without question, which represented his sunbaked complexion from working out and bonding with other men in the field.
It was also without question that the ridiculous ponytail began slowly retracting upwards, with sides shaved like a real man always would, especially in sports. Combing sideways with neat dabbing of gel, as the hard crusty dusting of aftershave went all over his upper lip and strong jaw.
He was nice, but pretty jock-centred in his beliefs. Both in his faith and how a man oughta behave. Big strong and masculine, the provider of the household, man and woman.
Man and woman...?
“Will see ya and the family on church this Sunday!”
“See ya!”
His mouth instinctively responded on autopilot, as his goofy grin waved goodbye to his long time friend, colleague, and church mate. His eyes blinked momentarily in light shock, making way to the bathrooms, and quickly closing behind one of the stalls.
LOCK!
“What...what in tarnation is happening to me? Haha?”
The stresses melted away into a grin, he always had a good natured stress-free persona, even when that gay intern confessed to him when he wasn’t into such things...wait no....
He felt compelled to...what? He barely knew the intern, plus he was more into ladies...in fact, he was sure his buddy Craig mentioned something about a family right? The air conditioning neutralising his heat emitting, he quickly fished for his-
“So warm...so fatherly...”
The middle aged man tugged his breeding tool beneath his pants, letting out soft groans like he was young. Ah the younger days, so simple, when men just liked women...when men just liked women!
Blushing to himself, as he tugged ferociously, letting out loud gasps as he felt his behind tightening with a SPANK. Disciplining away any penetration like his father would if he did not excel in his studies, swelling up to a sweet bubble butt reserved for...his love one.
He was raised in a traditional household after all, strong honour and an expertise in Mandarin Chinese. Which was why he landed his position in the first place.
But of course, he thanked God for everything after coming to know him in his college days. Strictness mixed with Kindness, Honour mixed with a loving father, Mr Benedgadict Kan understood who he was, as the firm but gentle brushes against his package were too much to bear.
“Forgive me...C...C....Cindy!”
He was a faithful man wasn’t he? It feels strange to even think about such ‘millennial’ thoughts! Haha, never understood them. Thankfully his wife Cindy and him raised their children well in the lord! Speaking of her...oh man!
“Cindy...you’re so beautiful!”
Gone were the dates of a gay man, replacing by a marriage lasting over two decades. Time well spent with her, His heart pumped in love with HER! Manhood rose in length and girth at the thought of her luscious hair, and soft lips that just made the man outta him.
Man and woman
THRUST!
She is your wife, and you are her husband.
THRUST!
You are a father.
“Ooooaaaah!”
The forty eight year old asian man gave a huge holler as he let out the remains of his homosexuality in an innocent bliss, slumping back as his eyelids closed without hesitation.
Stains looped around his left ring finger as a good man stays devoted to his wife. His member remained sturdy, hard and manly, but at rest. A golden necklace materialised, symbolising the gift she got him on their anniversary.
His married hand gave a good firm pat on his pouch, instinctively putting back his tool into hiding and zipping his pants up.
Almost as if Benedict Kang never tugged his manhood by himself, only engaging in it when multiplying with his wife. He was a good faithful man after all, his new genetics beamed to reflect that as he slowly opened his beady eyes.
“Oh lordee...Where am I?”
Managing Director Kang was your all around nice boss...dad guy. Ruffling his gelled hair, he laughed as he remembered praying and thanking the lord for his successes in his company and in his life.
Prayer time was always priority. He got results done, and had more than enough time to spend time with his family as well as watch the game. It had cut close sometimes, nearly missing a business proposal due to his son’s football game in school, but he always made it in the Bened-Nick of time.
Speaking of which...
“Oh shucks! What time is it?”
He quickly fished himself up from his mediation pronto, unlocking the door and strolling down towards the door entrance of the conference meeting, he quickly glanced at his ‘IanAs’ watch.
“Just in time! The Conference meeting was about to start!”
Mr Benedict Kang flashed his most genuine grin, stress melting away from the atmosphere as his wholesome presence was made known as he jovially walked in.
“Amen to that!”
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Survey #355
“despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage”
Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? No, only as a kid. What kind of pizza toppings do you like? Meats or jalapenos. When did you first take a shot of alcohol? Never, and I'm not interested. Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne, since middle school. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes. Not the one I currently live in. Have you ever been to a spa? Only because my friend at the time took me. When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? My right. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. Do you like Bob Marley? NO. Omg his voice is awful. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah. I'm not a big fan. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We only ever do that if my sister is over (she comes for dinner once a week). Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? Yeah, Violet Orlandi's cover of "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins. God she's so beautiful and talented and asdfjkaljddkfjlwkee FUCK I'm gay for her. Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? Watching Mark. :') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? Yeah. Do you like men who have a sensitive side? Yes. Please be in touch with your emotions, for the love of God. Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist? Not persistently, no, but Mini is a case where me mentioning them enough got her to listen to them. Metallica, by the way. They're her favorite band because of mwah, haha. Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree? It's possible, but I don't believe so. Do you like Dairy Queen? Love it. They're Oreo Cupfection thing is BOMB. Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story? Yes. I have a friend Shannen who first was a widely-recognized photographer in the state, and now she's a fashion designer (or something like that) up in New York. Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? A number of Rammstein songs. How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? So long they're well-made for safety reasons, I don't care much. They do seem a bit unnecessary, though; like just look at James Hetfield's accident that burned half his body because of standing in the wrong place. It seems easy to fuck up and get in a dangerous range. Ever fallen down a hole? No. Do you like bananas? Yeah. How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. Have you ever been a featured member on any website? Yeah, on a Silent Hill fansite. Have you ever had any weird pets? Not by my standards. A ball python morph is as "weird" as it gets. Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? Nope. Have you ever experienced insomnia? Ugh, yes. I went through a horrible insomnia spell, and I still have an awful time trying to fall asleep. Do you like egg nog? Nooo. Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress? I'm not opposed to it, but realistically I'd probably wear something more traditionally suiting just because. Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Without. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I've cried all the oceans over just one lol. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Being a mortician actually doesn't sound awful, weird as it sounds. It sounds almost relaxing if I could just be alone with some music doing my job. Would rather be a musician or a painter? A painter. Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? I'd love to write a book. At home, do you have a trampoline? No. When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise? No. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. And what about your favorite Christmas song? Probably "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" or whatever it's called. "Carol of the Bells" too, of course. What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer? Haha, okay so it seems to be an unspoken rule that Mom always gets us Slim Jims for our stockings, and that's obviously the best considering my sisters and I loooove them yet still don't buy them much. You're making me ready for Christmas, lol. After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles? I did as a kid, and then my sisters and I would trade what we preferred. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? It's honestly pretty loud. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Cold pizza from dinner leftovers last night. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix, Cali. She was a big 'ole pup. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? Food: strawberries. Drink: Mountain Lightning. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Either when I skinned my knees so deep that pus was visible, or when I fainted onto my chin and got a short, but very deep cut. Do you like the taste of cough syrup? No. What is something you like to have conversations about? I like talking about deep stuff, like where we came from, our unique feelings and beliefs, conspiracy theories and cryptids, mysterious stuff like that, too. And don't forget animals. And Mark, haha. What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a car, and I don't remember what's in Mom's trunk, even though I helped bring in groceries just the other day. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Ew, no. Is your heat or air conditioning currently on? Our AC is currently on because it's too damn hot. The weather here has been so up and down, it's wild. Have you ever fallen off of a horse? No. Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence? Honestly? I'd be dumber than I already am if it meant being happy with how I look, because my appearance now is a key factor to my depression. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Oh jeez... I have no idea. I don't think since I've driven a golf cart at someone's b-day party as a kid. Were your grandparents present when you were born? No. If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I don't smoke, and I only have a drink or two very rarely, usually just on special occasions. What do you think of fast food? I like it way more than I wish I did. What website do you spend the most time on and why? YouTube, because I'm always listening to and/or watching something. What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? In one non-stop setting, I don't want to know. I pretty much only exist on the computer. When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Mountainous, loads of nature, cooler/cold, mysterious locations... stuff like that. Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? If we learn from our goddamn mistakes and not fuck up its environment, it could be healthy or even life-saving for humanity, but I'd prefer to stay on Earth as long as possible. What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? I dunno, maybe at Disney World or something like that as a kid. What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Physical health stuff. I'm worried about a lot of things relating to that. What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? I don't know about "unimportant," at least to me. Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? Yeah. I only really eat the cinnamon apple ones; I always use milk and sprinkle some sugar in there, and it's delicious. What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? When Mom and I stopped at Jason's house to bring the family some treats following his mother's death. I stayed in the car and couldn't even look towards the house, but yeah. So many memories just stampeded me. How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? I pay zero attention to it; I don't believe they have influence over people in any way. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? I guess you could say World of Warcraft. It's definitely the most involved, like I've been playing it almost consistently since 2014, and I used to be in a Heroic raid team, which certainly wasn't easy. Then there's some achievements I busted my ass to get. Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing? British is where it's at. Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome? Extremely Southern ones. Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful? No. Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Embarrassingly, it frequently does. Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you? Ugh, I could never. I hate the feeling of socks. Have you ever bleached your hair? By myself, no, but a professional has to dye it. Do you like jelly beans? They're okay. It really depends on the flavor, and even then I can't eat a lot of them. Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Yes, but not because it scares me, but rather that I'm just jumpy. Subtle thunder isn't so bad, and I LOVE the drone of heavy rain, but once you add booming thunder and strong flashes of lightning, it's too disruptive for me to fall asleep easily. Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college) My not-so-little sister is just about to finish her Master's lakdsjfakwe I'm so proud of her. Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I think I was always kinda bummed out, even though I liked my babysitters. I had horrible separation anxiety from my mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I did have this one guy who'd been like obsessed with me since pre-k and would always chase me to hug and kiss me. In pre-k it was awful, but he still did it sometimes in kindergarten, despite the teachers getting on him about it. It's actually a memory I forgot for a very long time, like I think my brain tried to oppress it, and I wonder if it has anything to do with my fear of people standing behind me, men specifically, and being raped. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? Oh yes, I was obsessed! Who was your best friend in elementary school? It jumped between Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? YESSSSS. I even had the computer game. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. Did you get an allowance? No. Not because my parents didn't want to or anything, but rather they couldn't afford allowances to three kids. Were you into American Girl dolls? Nah. I got one, but I think it was mostly so my sisters and I each had our own. Nicole, however, was sooooo into them. Were you friends with your childhood neighbors? Some, yeah, especially the boy down my street named D'Andre. We would hang out ALL the time, be it at each other's houses or just riding our bikes. He actually got married very recently and I'm so happy for him, ahhhhh!! What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Thunderstorms. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games? Oh my god, YES. The one where you were hosting a surprise birthday party was my absolute favorite. Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? Yes. .-. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Chocolate, of course.
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winterune · 4 years
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Well, that’s one more anime ticked off my 2019 watch list. I still have...I don’t know how many I have left ^^; Maybe I’ll finish those spring leftovers first haha, then maybe I’ll finally watch the part 2 of Shingeki no Kyojin Season 3 (for which I would need to rewatch part 1) and Vinland Saga. Well, anyway, let’s get into it.
Hoshiai no Sora - Thoughts and Musings
This anime was...one hell of a ride. Okay, maybe not as much as Beastars was (though, Beastars wasn’t really emotional per se, but rather an anime that tackles really heavy topics), but the emotional roller coaster throughout its 12 episodes was really something to reckon with. Honestly, I wish this was a two-cour anime instead of a one-cour, because the 12-episode run doesn’t give it enough time to really flesh out all their characters and give everyone a satisfying ending. 
I mean
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As long as he’s alive, we will never be free. I’m ending this.
What kind of ending is that??? *flips table* (beware of spoilers)
In its heart, this is a story about trying to find your place in a world that is trying to box you in. It’s not just your average sports anime about a weak sports club trying to gain its reputation back. It’s more than that. We have this cast of seemingly stereotypical characters, but right from the very first episode, we’re immediately given a tease of a dysfunctional family in our two main leads: Maki with his single mother as a parent and his abusive father still terrorizing them from time to time for money, and Touma who doesn’t have a good relationship with his mother for unknown reasons. And it turns out, the rest of the team member has their own issues to deal with. 
Rintaro, being a child born out of teen pregnancy and was then put up for adoption. Though he has loving parents, it still doesn’t erase the confusion and incompetence he had felt because of it. (I kind of have issues with how his parents told him he was adopted when he was still only 10? 11? I think that’s a bit too young for him to know he was adopted. I mean, an elementary school kid is suddenly being told that the parents he has always known has never been his real parents. It would get him thinking: why was he adopted? Why didn’t his mother take him? Was he unwanted? Was he a mistake? Huh, I guess that’s why I can’t do anything right. I’m a failure. I was a mistake. I shouldn’t have been born.)
Itsuki’s mother, in, probably, a bout of depression, poured hot water all over his body when he was only 1 year old.
Shingo, who doesn’t seem to have any problems, lives with a step-mother who is only protective over her daughter while dismissive over him. He doesn’t seem to be overly bothered by it. In fact, he adores his little sister. He’s probably learned to deal with his step-mother’s behavior. 
Taiyo’s parents are quite overprotective and overbearing, but at least I don’t think they’re doing any real, permanent damage to him. 
Tsubasa, though has wonderful relationship with his brothers, has a father with high expectations and will not settle for less, who won’t try to understand why he dropped soccer and took up soft tennis. Who won’t get off his case, saying that it’s stupid, that it doesn’t do him any good, that you’re better off studying instead of joining such a stupid club. And he actually slaps him, right across the face, causing Tsubasa to fall off the stairs and break his wrist, one month before his big game. And yes he looked shocked at what he had done, but he didn’t do anything; he just stood there, he didn’t even chase after him, as if he was justifying his actions to himself. Like, dammit! Don’t you know what you’re doing to your kid? You’re already hurting him emotionally and you slapped him?! I will say that Tsubasa’s story hurts me the most, because this kid, this happy-go-lucky kid who always smiles and laughs when he’s with his friends, cries as he runs out of the house. And can I just say that Toshii’s voice acting was just...spot on? To the point that I think I cried harder because of Toshii’s voice breaking when Shingo found him outside the house, when the doctor at the hospital asked him if he wasn’t pushed off the stairs, when they were talking in that park and Tsubasa hates how his father kept bragging about his time with his soccer team and never listens to a word he says, never sees him for who he is, because he’s not his brothers and he wanted so badly to play in their game. 
But then we have Nao, with that kind of negative overprotective, overbearing, emotionally abusive mother and an indifferent father. It hurts. Hearing his mother talk hurts. Imagining myself in Nao’s shoes hurts. There are the kinds like Maki’s father, who knows they’re a jerk by abusing their own kid. Then there are the kinds like Nao’s mother, who, as Maki said, doesn’t even realize they’re abusing their children, justifying their actions by saying it’s for their kids. She’s blind to Nao’s feelings. All she cares about is what she wants. It doesn’t matter what Nao wants, because I’m her mother and I know what’s best for my son. What she doesn’t know, however, is the permanent damage it’s doing to Nao. Sure at the “conclusion” to Nao’s arc, Nao seems to have find the strength and will in him to shut out his mother’s words, but we also see something different. Nao’s mother is only going to let him off the hook this time. Which means she will probably be worse than she had ever been once Nao comes home from the match. 
And finally, one of the most important of all: Yuuta’s arc, where he questions about himself, his gender, the role that is expected of him, and how he feels as if he doesn’t quite fit in with the boxes already laid down by the world. Also his desire to find an answer but also the fear of coming to terms with it, not wanting to disappoint his parents but all the while wanting to find a place he feels like he belongs in. Very realistic. Very relatable. I’m not entirely sure how it is seen in Japan, but in my country, due to strong religious beliefs and traditional values, people with “questionable” gender identities are seen as a sin, a violation, improper behavior - some might even call them a shame to the family. So, I really appreciate the director and his team writing quite a realistic portrayal of the lgbt+. I don’t hold anything against his mother, however, as I understand her feelings exactly, even as I would like Yuuta to have the freedom to learn and discover who he is and what he wants to be. 
Even Mitsue, whose family wasn’t shown much, says that her parents don’t approve of her drawing. But that’s what she wants to do. That’s what she wants to be good at. She’s not good at studying. She doesn’t have passion for it. She likes to draw, but even people on the internet says her drawing isn’t good (when in fact it’s quite good). She’s not good with people and her classmates make fun of her. She’s haunted by an inferiority complex, social anxiety, frustration that she doesn’t fit in this world. 
This entire show is like a How Not To Be A Parent 101. I do think some are stretching it a bit too far, but I understand what the director’s trying to say. A parental figure is important in a child’s life. Even if you have a crappy life, even if you’re bent on pushing your dreams and expectations to your children, even if your spouse doesn’t appreciate you any longer, that’s no reason or justification to “push the blame on your child”, to abuse them, both emotionally and/or physically. 
When you don’t have a good parental figure, a good family environment, it will scar your children for life, and these children will start looking for a place they can belong to outside of their families. Whereas Nao’s mother said that the soft tennis club is a bad influence for Nao, I’d say it’s a good thing Nao found his place inside it. With a mother like that, and a father who doesn’t care much about what happens to him, Nao could have done a lot worse. And yet there’s this sports club made up of misfit children, who are hiding all their pain behind their smile and laughter, because this club is the only place where they can be themselves. Where they don’t have to worry about overbearing/indifferent/abusive parents. In this club of misfits, everyone has everyone else’s backs. When one’s down on the low, someone else will try to lift them up. 
This club is their refuge, but in a way, I also think this is their sort of escapism. Because once they’re back in their homes, their lives return to being pressured and trapped under the expectations of their parents. Why I think it is an escape is because, neither of them really grow from it, aside from, I guess, Shingo, Rintaro, Itsuki, and Taiyo. They have either learned to live with their families or showed positive development. Nao’s mother is still a problem, Yuuta’s journey of self-discovery is still long and winding, while Tsubasa still has yet to make amends with his father. Not to mention we have Touma, whose mother just basically told him over the phone that she despises him and is getting a divorce, and Maki, who’s bent on killing his father. 
This is not a story of self-healing. This is a slice-of-life story that is trying to tell how bad parenting affects children, especially children in those early adolescence years, when they’re just beginning to learn who they are and what they want to be. It’s not a story of how these children can overcome it. The club acts as their refuge, but not a place of healing. And if their psychosocial development took on a negative turn (see Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development), especially like Maki’s case, well you can imagine what will happen next if he’s not given the proper treatment. 
As a final note, I would like to say the sports aspect is a bit weak. The soft tennis matches were too easy, too straightforward, as if the staff didn’t really care what happened in the matches. Well, the main story isn’t in the matches, so there’s that. Also, I would like to say that how they dealt with Maki’s father in episode 5 was also weak. I mean, what’s with Touma yelling at him? To me, it was a bit out of character for Maki to let Touma meet his father (I’d thought he was the type to say, no, that’s all right, I’ll deal with him myself, though I think Touma would have forced himself inside Maki’s house nonetheless). And that spontaneous outbursts about killing him? It was very cringe-worthy when I saw it, but now that I think about it, though it was probably Toma’s heat-of-the-moment outburst then, Maki certainly took it seriously with how he was holding that knife in the end. 
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mintymiknow · 5 years
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Stray Kids in Hogwarts
I grew up watching Harry Potter, so why not make my own Stray Kids as Hogwarts students? Includes houses, wands, patronus, and a few extras and explanations! If you want to know more about the meanings behind wand woods, cores, and patronuses, just click the words haha the link’s there. These are simply my opinions, so you don’t need to agree. You can read the other members after the “Keep Reading” link right after Woojin! It’s just to keep it organized for when it pops up on your dashboard!
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BANG CHAN 
Blood Type: Half-blood House/Year Level: Gryffindor (prefect, head boy); 7th year -- I chose to put Chan in Gryffindor because he’s a natural-born leader. He does have some Hufflepuff traits, but Chan’s bravery and passion really stand out to me. He’s willing to put everything on the line, especially for his members. 
Wand: Blackthorn wood (“...being best suited to a warrior. These wands appear to need to pass through danger or hardship with their owners to become truly bonded”), phoenix feather core
Patronus: White Stallion (“White horses, be it mares or stallions, have come to represent warriors on the side of good in folklore and literature”)  
Best Class: Care of Magical Creatures 
Worst Class: Transfiguration 
Quidditch: Chaser -- As bad as he is with games, Chan’s pretty athletic and quick, so Chaser would be the most suitable position for him
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KIM WOOJIN
Blood Type: Muggle-born
House/Year Level: Hufflepuff (prefect, head boy); 7th year -- Woojin embodies what a Hufflepuff is like, so no questions asked on this one for me. He’s got a sassy side, but overall, Woojin’s a very supportive and doting type of person who values honesty, hardwork, and never gives up. 
Wand: Mahogany wood (“symbolizes strength, safety, protectiveness, and practicality”), unicorn tail hair core
Patronus: Black Bear (“...a fierce opponent who will protect yourself and those close to you but who has a softer side hidden away from the world; adaptable and resourceful”)
Best Class: Charms
Worst Class: Potions
Quidditch: Keeper -- Woojin is tall and broad, and he’s pretty much athletic as well, so he’d be well-suited in protecting the opponents’ quaffles from going in the hoops
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LEE MINHO
Blood Type: Pure-blood
House/Year Level: Slytherin (prefect, head boy); 7th year -- The boy is mischievous, savage, and pretty flirty. Though, there’s more to him than that; Minho is also a very cunning, ambitious, and clever person who will stop at nothing to reach his goals. Can be a “I don’t give a damn and I’ll do what I want” kind of person though.
Wand: Fir wood (“...demand staying power and strength of purpose in their true owners; favors owners of focused, strong-minded and, occasionally, intimidating demeanor”), dragon heartstring core
Patronus: Wildcat (“They tend to be solitary, territorial homemakers; they move quickly and confidently; fierce”)
Best Class: Transfiguration
Worst Class: History of Magic
Quidditch: Beater -- I was going to make him a Seeker as he is very observant and quick-witted, but imagine the devilish smile on his face when he strikes a bludger, whether to protect his team or hit the opposing one. He just wants to have fun and mess with enemy players, honestly, whether he wins or loses. 
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SEO CHANGBIN
Blood Type: Half-blood
House/Year Level: Gryffindor; 6th year -- I often see Changbin sorted into Slytherin or Hufflepuff. He loves dark and may be a big softie who gets scared a lot, but I also see him as someone who is adventurous, very much daring and is willing to take risks, whether for himself or for the team, and that is a trademark for Gryffindor. 
Wand: Ash wood (“Wizards best suited to ash wands are not lightly swayed from their beliefs or purposes. The ideal owner may be stubborn, and will certainly be courageous”), dragon heartstring core
Patronus: Python (“Largest species of snakes but also one of the timidest; gentle giant”)
Best Class: Defense Against the Dark Arts
Worst Class: Divination
Quidditch: Chaser -- Changbin can get pretty competitive and is more often than not out there playing to win and score some points
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HWANG HYUNJIN
Blood Type: Pure-blood
House/Year Level: Slytherin; 6th year -- Hyunjin has the face and aura of a prince, but we’ve seen countless times how humble he actually really is. But then again, he’s also a super sassy and cunning young man with big ambitions and will work hard and will stop at nothing to achieve his goals. He’s very determined. Hyunjin also gives me that Slytherin vibe of elegance and dignity.
Wand: Elm wood (“...prefer owners with presence, magical dexterity and a certain native dignity; produces the fewest accidents, the least foolish errors, and the most elegant charms and spells; sophisticated wands”), dragon heartstring core
Patronus: White Swan (“White swans are creatures associated with grace, beauty, and loyalty. They are incredibly loyal and protective”)
Best Class: Transfiguration
Worst Class: Arithmancy 
Quidditch: Seeker -- Hyunjin’s is observant, quick and nimble, and that translates into his playing style; very much competitive as well, with his eyes set on the prize 
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HAN JISUNG
Blood Type: Muggle-born
House/Year Level: Ravenclaw, 6th year -- Jisung is often put in Hufflepuff for his soft and friendly personality. He certainly has those down, but remember, Jisung is a lyrical genius. His "crackhead” antics and playful personality often overshadows the fact that he is a very intelligent, witty, and creative person with an unquenchable curiosity. He’s always willing to explore new ideas and things.
Wand: Sycamore wood (“...eager for new experience and losing brilliance if engaged in mundane activities; may combust if allowed to become ‘bored,’; ideal owner is curious, vital and adventurous”), phoenix feather core
Patronus: Swift (“...have a strong sense of determination and a drive to accomplish things as quickly as possible; hopeful, positive, and energetic; drawn to live and work in large communities”)
Best Class: Potions
Worst Class: Muggle Studies
Quidditch: Chaser -- I think Jisung’s energetic personality and disposition comes in handy with being a Chaser, especially when scoring goals and earning points
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LEE FELIX
Blood Type: Muggle-born
House/Year Level: Hufflepuff; 6th year -- Felix is a softie. He has a heart of pure gold and is always looking out for the well-being of others. He’s friendly, though can be very naive and gullible. He’s a loyal person who works hard and values his friendships above all else. He’s often happy and tries his best to stay optimistic.
Wand: Maple wood (“They are not stay-at-home wands and prefer ambition; fresh challenges and regular changes of scene cause this wand to literally shine”), dragon heartstring core
Patronus: Otter (“Otters are extremely playful and curious; have no reservations about following their curiosity since they are also fearless. Associated with friendship, otters are often found holding hands while sleeping”) 
Best Class: Charms
Worst Class: Study of Ancient Runes
Quidditch: Seeker -- Even if he’s a friendly and rather pure-hearted person, Felix also strikes me as someone who would go for the “bigger prize” in order to be the biggest help to his team/friends 
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KIM SEUNGMIN
Blood Type: Pure-blood
House/Year Level: Ravenclaw; 6th year -- Seungmin’s a very observant person. He’s proven so many times that he is analytical and is usually the quickest to notice when something is unusual or off. Quick-witted, artsy, and sarcastic/savage are some of Seungmin’s traits as well. He has a witty, balanced and focused mind too.
Wand: Beech wood (“...young, wise beyond his or her years, and if full-grown, rich in understanding and experience; perform very weakly for the narrow-minded and intolerant”), phoenix feather core
Patronus: Raven (“...the raven easily delineates from others within its broader feathered family due to its appearance and wits; packs an intellectual wallop that easily plays to the mistake of underestimating the raven”)
Best Class: Astronomy
Worst Class: Potions
Quidditch: N/A -- Seungmin seems like the type who would rather just watch and support his team from the side, maybe tease or sass them if they lose. I think he’d rather read a book or take pictures of the game with his camera. But if I were to give him a position, he’d most likely be a Beater.
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YANG JEONGIN
Blood Type: Half-blood
House/Year Level: Gryffindor; 5th year -- He’s innocent and almost child-like, but Jeongin is one of the bravest members, to be honest. He’s adventurous, courageous, brave, and daring. He isn’t easily scared, though he can get frazzled or nervous from time to time. Though very playful, the maknae is also respectful and polite.
Wand: Alder wood (“The ideal owner of Alder wand is not stubborn or obstinate, but often helpful, considerate and most likeable”), unicorn tail hair core
Patronus: Dolphin cue dolphin sounds from Jeongin (“...also known for their playfulness and loyalty, dolphins live and work together in groups; does not enjoy dull, routine activities, so keeping busy with interesting tasks is a must”)
Best Class: Muggle Studies
Worst Class: Herbology 
Quidditch: N/A -- Jeongin’s a clumsy person, and at present, though very brave, he’s someone who tends to panic and get frazzled under pressure. So I think he’d also support and cheer on his team from the sides with his bright smile and energy. If I were to give him a position though, I’d probably make him a Keeper or Chaser. 
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Slasher, potion, and bat cave for the ask thing :)
Slasher: the best horror film I’ve ever seen - So I’ll be honest, I don’t watch much horror because I’m a big baby and mostly only watch the super shitty horror movies that are easy to either a) laugh at or b) turn into a drinking game. But I recently did go to see ‘Stories To Tell In The Dark’ because I used to read the stories as a child, and I, surprisingly, absolutely loved it! The story and the scares were both super good, and the artistry of it was honestly really well done without relying on being super bloody to be scary which is an A+ from me. (Doesn’t hurt that it lowkey inspired the Haunted House Supercorp AU that I’m working on haha)
Potion: do I believe in karma? - Yes and No? I wouldn’t say I necessarily believe in some all-powerful force handing out people’s lots in life based on how they act. But I do believe in energy and intent, and I believe that you get out of things what you put into them. So I would say, in the grand scheme of things, the energy you put out into the world will come back on you - be it good, bad, or anything in between. What’s that old adage that I first learned from my witchy great aunt, pointing a finger at someone points thrice as many back at yourself? From that perspective, I want to put as much good out there whether my beliefs about karma are correct or not
Bat Cave: something you don’t know about me - hmmm, I guess in the spirit of the season, I love ghost and supernatural stories so so incredibly much. Not necessarily for the scare or anything, but I adore history, anthropology, and folklore, and hearing the ghost stories of a region or a culture can be so telling. They can be so deeply intimate and reveal the fears and values of people without them even realizing that’s what they’re sharing. And I just find that to be so incredibly cool. So whenever I go traveling and find a place that offers them, I go on ghost/supernatural tours or find a local to share their spooks. You get a peek at that weird, hidden history that you may never see anywhere else.
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naomimakesart · 5 years
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As an end of the year soliloquy (fueled by a little rosé) I just want to say a few things that I’ve been thankful for and a few things I have worked through.
2018 has been a complex year for me. There have been many highs, and many lows, but mostly highs. I had a rough start this year, and thought it was going to set the stage for the rest of the year to be just as rough. A few things among the lows I’ve had were losing a friendship that had lasted 10 yrs, had a complete motherboard failure on my laptop during a really big commission piece (had to work under extreme pressure to meet my deadline on an old laptop that didn’t have programs up to date that I’m comfortable using anymore), and I was in danger of being evacuated in the deadliest wildfire in California’s history.
(I also haven’t been able to play Dungeons and Dragons since Valentine’s day and it has left such a hole in my heart though it’s not as serious to me as the other events were)
Without going into detail the things I have worked through this year were hard for me. But I’ve had so much good happen to me as well, that I felt surpassed any of the lows that I’ve experienced this year.
I had to really work my ass off to get a new laptop. I was able to make a reasonable amount of money for my artwork this year, more than I have ever before. I ran a booth at a festival where I drew portraits for money, I designed Dungeons & Dragons characters for people, and I was very humbled when people began to signal-boost my cries for help, haha. I was able to buy a new laptop completely from people buying artwork from me or commissioning me which was a big deal for me, and gave me confidence as a freelance artist who didn’t have much experience prior to this year. To anyone who helped me achieve this, who helped spread the word, or commissioned me, I’m so grateful beyond belief.  
I made some really cool friends online, who are also as obsessed with Game of Thrones/ASoIaF as I am, who have inspired me to create artwork that I didn’t think I had the capability to create, and I think that I’ve had so much growth since this time last year. I WENT VIRAL ON 2 DIFFERENT PLATFORMS FOR MY DRAWING OF DAENERYS TARGARYEN AND I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT. Had I not found other people to inspire me to draw more Game of Thrones art I don’t think that this would have happened.
G.R.R.M. published Fire and Blood, which I devoured in like 5 days, which also inspired me. I also read Wuthering Heights for the first time and it is now one of my favorite books.
I was given the opportunity to have my hair styled by a professional curl stylist for free, and given a buttload of products that had almost a $300 value for free. I will never forget how lucky that was, and it was one of the most awesome experiences in my life! My hair is super healthy now (and curlier than it’s ever been in my life).
I even managed to retrieve my harddrive from my fried computer, which I was really proud of myself for!
I had a couple of rough spots, some moments that were really low, but there was also a lot of opportunities, a lot of hilarious moments and I think I had a lot of luck this year that I definitely didn’t have last year (I had 2 broken ankles). I am really looking forward to 2019, especially for my art, hoping that by this time next year I’ll have just as much to be proud of! I’m so thankful for everyone who’s been here, supporting my art or sharing it. I hope everyone will follow me on my artistic journey for a long time coming! 2017 left me in a really bad place last year. I was miserable. 2018 found an improved me, and I hope 2019 is so much better.
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noonetosmilefor · 6 years
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50 books asks.
So, @uneven-odds asked me to answer all of these. thx, love. <3
the adventures of huckleberry finn: do you think kids or their parents are responsible for their beliefs? - I think parents have a lot of influence on their children. Of course kids can change their beliefs when they’re older. But when they’re young they’re learning from mummy and daddy, so yeah.
the alchemist: what are your current plans for the future? will you be upset if they don’t work out? - Huh, I wish I had ‘real’ plans. I don’t know, honestly. I’m currently in a state of mind where I don’t know what to do.
alice’s adventures in wonderland: how do you react to absurd situations? - I’m shocked at first tbh and might be wondering wtf is going on.
and then there were none: do you think murderers deserve to die? - No. If you’re murdering a murderer you’re not even better than the murderer himself.
artemis fowl: how much do you depend on technology? - A bit. When it comes to my job: A lot.
beowulf: is it always worthwhile to hear both sides of an argument? - Of course.
the canterbury tales: if someone is hypocritical, do you point it out? - Sometimes.
cat’s cradle: do you think it’s better to believe a lie than to live with an unpleasant truth? - I’d rather want to live with an unpleasant truth but I know it might hurt me so sometimes I’d like to believe a lie.
charlotte’s web: what’s your favorite art form? - Music.
coraline: if you could change your family, what would you change? - Nothing. My family is perfect. If I could bring people back from the dead, I would tho.
the crucible: how heavily do you depend on others when forming opinions? - I don’t. I’d like to discuss things but changing my mind is hard sometimes.
fahrenheit 451: do you think there’s any knowledge that should be kept secret? - Nah, spill it. The world’s already sick, so who cares.
the fault in our stars: if you could have one conversation before you died, who would you talk to and what would you say? - I’d probably talk to my sister. Idk she might distract me from dying. Oh and I’d thank her for everything.
flowers for algernon: how much potential do you think you have? - I know I have potential, but I don’t really use it. Idk why tho.
frankenstein: is it wise for humans to attempt to create life? - Yeah, if it’s natural.
the giver: talk about a favorite memory - I think @uneven-odds already knows what memory I’m thinking about. A night in February in Berlin. (That sounds very wrong haha <3)
the great gatsby: what would you sacrifice for money? - Nothing.
harry potter: if you could bring someone back from the dead, would you? if so, who would it be? - Idk, I’d really like to, but it might be weird for everyone I guess. It would be the mom from my step-sister because I know how much she misses and needs her.
the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy: what do you think is the meaning of life? - To be truly happy with yourself. 
the hobbit: do you think the average person has the potential to be a hero? - Everyone has. 
holes: if someone poor stole from someone rich, who would you sympathize with? - Stealing is never okay. If I’d be rich I’d be giving things to poor people.
howl’s moving castle: how quickly do you form opinions about other people? - It depends how I close I want to get to that person.
the hunger games: would you kill someone if they planned to kill you? - No.
identical: how clear is your perception of reality? - Clear. A bit blurry sometimes.
the importance of being earnest: are you flattered or annoyed by gentlemanly behavior? - If it’s not over dramatic gentlemanly, it’s okay.
inferno: do you think you belong in hell? why or why not? - Yeah. Idk, I just hurt a lot of people and lied even though I never wanted to.
jonathan livingston seagull: is perfection a good goal? - Not for me.
the joy luck club: describe your family - close, caring, listening, supportive, loveably, small.
jurassic park: do you think it’s wrong to use animals as attractions and accessories? - YES!
the kite runner: if you could, what social issue would you spread awareness about? - Gay marriage and LGBTQ+ adoption rights. 
les misérables: do you think people should revolt if the government is corrupt? - Of course!
life of pi: if you were stranded, would you be able to take care of yourself? - I’d cry but yeah I guess.
the lightning thief: what would you be the god/goddess of? - Laziness.
the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe: if you could start a new life in a new world, would you? - Yes, bye.
lord of the flies: what motivates you best? - Music and certain YouTube videos.
lord of the rings: is it important to work for the greater good of the world? - Yes, even though you always have to do it for yourself too.
of mice and men: would you kill your closest friend to save them from a worse fate? - I could never even if she wanted me to..
the perks of being a wallflower: does listening to other people’s problems help you or weigh you down? - It helps me but it makes me feel bad because I want to carry their weight of their shoulders.
the phantom of the opera: how much do you judge others on physical appearance? - Not at all.
pride and prejudice: are you romantic? - Nah, not really I guess.
the princess bride: what’s your best feature? - My eyes and I think I’m a good listener.
a raisin in the sun: what is your most important possession? - My family & friends.
romeo and juliet: have you ever done anything ridiculous for love? what? - I don’t think so.
stargirl: do you value uniqueness? - Yes.
the taming of the shrew: would you be willing to be in a relationship with someone who is very dominant? - Idk, it depends on the person.
the tell-tale heart: is there anything you feel guilty about right now? what? - Yeah kinda, but talking about it right now makes me feel very bad.
to kill a mockingbird: do you believe something has value simply because it’s beautiful? - Yes.
twilight: how consistent are your feelings about people close to you? - VERY consistent.
watership down: do you think your right to life is any greater than an animal’s? - No.
the westing game: if you died now, what would you want to happen to your possessions? - Oh I’d give a lot of books to @uneven-odds for sure. A few things to my sister, my family, my closest friends.
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retrauxpunk · 6 years
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i saw this bunch of asks and i’ve decided to answer all of them because fuck waiting for asks that’s why
billie jean: what do you notice more in a song - the drums or bassline?
probably the drums. this is embarrassing but i barely even know what a bassline is. don’t ask.
sweet dreams (are made of this): what’s the best dream you’ve had?
i was in the hunger games with ben whishaw. we were sort of allies. we were some of the tributes remaining toward the end of the game. we had this intense moment of eye contact in which we weren’t sure if we were going to kill/get killed by the other, and then we made out. fuck yeah.
africa: favourite 80s music video?
i agree with @cheapskate-bleeding-queer​, Dancing in the Street is really something.
every breath you take: who’s the first person your mind goes to when you hear a love song?
either my boyfriend or my ex, depending on what kind of love song it is haha
should i stay or should i go: how many languages do you speak?
one fluently, one relatively proficiently, and basic spoken knowledge for another
uptown girl: what’s your favourite book trope?
there’s too many! here are a few i like: allies fighting with sword-like weapons back to back; badass battle magic; characters deciding to make out as a way to hide their real agenda (e.g. trespassing); saving each other’s lives; cyberpunk/biopunk; urban fantasy; people who save the world/have magic powers but also have normal lives of school/work
don’t stop believin’: what’s the longest journey you’ve been on?
mmm... flying from sydney to london. jesus. an entire day. but it was business class, so it was pretty cushy ... the flight from germany to sydney felt much longer because it was in economy and the shorter flight (8) was first, and the second one (16 or some shit) was second, so really i was going a bit nuts.
i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me): who was the last person you danced with?
my boyfriend, at the paramore concert
maneater: where did you spend your last friday night?
hanging out at my boyfriend’s work, playing beer pong
jessie’s girl: what would you do if you found out your best friend was seeing your ex?
be incredibly shocked/surprised and upset and bitter ... and ask them why? and also chew out my ex too. but more angry at the best friend because they know how my relationship with the ex went and it’d be a real douchey move for them to get with them haha. ...thankfully this is very very very unlikely to happen.
born in the u.s.a.: what’s your home town like?
sunny with a beautiful harbour. very expensive in terms of housing. pretty multicultural, with white, asian, and middle eastern being the dominant groups (in descending order). lots of great food.
wake me up before you go-go: how did your last date go?
saw Early Man with my boyfriend at the cinema. it was nice. uneventful but pleasant, which is how things usually go when you’ve been together for years...
girls just want to have fun: relationship with your parents?
we have really different/conflicting views about basically everything, which is what happens when we’re from different generations and grew up in different cultures... #immigrantlife but they tried their best and love me and i love them even though it has been kinda rough
beat it: opinions on the police force?
a necessary institution, i’d rather have one than not have one, but has several serious endemic issues regardless of which culture we’re talking about
never gonna give you up: how old were you when you joined the internet?
around the time this was a meme haha :p ... around 12-13, when I got into message boards and post by post roleplaying.
faith: when was your first kiss?
15 for a peck, 17 for making out
i’m so excited: where was your first kiss?
outside my house for the peck, and in Sydney’s Hyde Park for making out
take on me: could you reach the high note?
absolutely not, but i make a dumb attempt anyway
footloose: favourite musical?
The Book of Mormon!!!!!!!
9 to 5: do you like country music?
I’m not sure. Maybe?
back in black: what makes a good rock song?
a strong beat! strength of instruments! a hot voice and good lyrics. makes me want to start drumming my fingers/tapping feet/headbanging, no matter where i am. i’m too crap at music to be able to give a better answer, so have that subjective one.
material girl: are you sentimental?
absolutely. i’ll bleed my heart all over your carpet and ruin your clothes. though i don’t know if that comes across for people who don’t know me too well?
walk this way: what was the most expensive thing you bought in the last six months?
probably concert tickets for me and my boyfriend ... either that or my Doc Martens
you shook me all night long: are you seeing anyone at the moment?
yup
thriller: favourite film genre and why?
I like quite a few, but probably action/thriller. I love good action movies, I love watching well-choreographed combat and general Cool Badassitude, and the dialogue tends to be peppered with fun humour too. Really good for suspense and engagement.
i want candy: chocolate or sweets?
Chocolate
ghostbusters: how far do you believe in the paranormal?
I don’t really, but I wouldn’t push my luck either.
the power of love: does true love exist?
absolutely! all love is true love. if it’s not true, it’s not love.
hungry like the wolf: what’s your crush’s favourite music genre?
stuff like Queen
walk like an egyptian: favourite song currently in the charts?
Lemon To A Knife Fight by the Wombats
(i’ve had) the time of my life: if you could relive any ten minutes of your life, what would you relive?
listening to Pink Floyd’s Time while on acid (the first time I’d tried either the album or the drug)
just can’t get enough: what’s your guilty pleasure?
I don’t really feel guilty about my pleasures?
i’m gonna be (500 miles): how far apart do you and your best friend live?
lmao. a 24 hour flight apart. about as far away as you can get
you spin me round (like a record): favourite modern cover of an older song?
i don’t know many, but the Scissor Sisters cover of Comfortably Numb as a disco hit is really good!
we built this city: if you were president, what would your first ruling be?
oh god uh I don’t know. but some stuff I’d like to make happen are: increasing taxes on fossil fuels, more protections for queer folk, making abortion safe and easily accessible, overhauling the sex ed curriculum in schools to include a lot more focus on consent and the nuances of consent instead of focussing purely on physical sexual health, increasing funding for mental health, OH BOY I COULD GO ON AND ON 
how will i know: do you believe everyone is deserving of love?
by default yes ... for people like ivan milat ... no ... so, yes, except in the extreme cases of people proven to be unrepentant and unwilling to reform after committing atrocities
nothing’s gonna stop us now: what’s been the biggest hurdle you’ve faced in your life so far?
either my own mental health RE being quite neurotic/obsessive, or a bad former partner who did some things that fucked me up. they’ve recently seemed to be truly sorry/empathetic though so that one at least will be getting better now. tbh they’re both getting better, so that’s nice!
come on eileen: have you ever written a song? if so, what was the genre?
i kinda wrote lyrics and had an idea for a melody for this ... some kind of bad sappy love song that would probably be in the pop rock category? oh god i’m so glad i have no further memory of it
living on a prayer: which was the song of your childhood?
if we’re talking pre-teenagerhood ... um ... I dunno! maybe ‘Sk8er Boi’ or Atomic Kitten’s ‘The Tide is High’ haha. as for my mid-teens ... Tokio Hotel’s ‘Der Letzte Tag’. late teens, it’d be ... maybe Taylor Swift’s ‘Holy Ground’.
sweet child o’ mine: describe your perfect first date.
meeting somewhere public, having good food and drink, excellent conversation and laughs, then going to my/their place and having more of the same, and making out and potentially Other Things wink nudge giggle wink wink nudge
don’t you (forget about me): is there anyone from your past that you regret cutting ties with?
No. HA. feels good to say that
eye of the tiger: favourite 80s movie?
i .................. don’t know if I have one
under pressure: give an example of a world event that occurred the year you were born.
Nelson Mandela was inaugurated as president of South Africa
with or without you: what would you value most: a relationship or a job?
oh my god i don’t fucking know. 
another one bites the dust: where did you achieve your biggest accomplishment?
what ... even was my biggest accomplishment ... I guess either in my school’s exam hall (getting a high ATAR), or on my apartment couch (finishing NaNoWriMo)
pour some sugar on me: turn ons?
oh boy, hmm: having the exact same ideological beliefs as me; a lean but toned body; Irish/Scottish/Russian accents (among several others); neck kisses; being clever; being very skilled at something (esp something with a physical dimension e.g. drawing, playing guitar, snowboarding, etc.); the right amount of confidence/bravado but only when I’m already into them (otherwise this becomes a 10000x turn-off) 
in the air tonight: do you enjoy flying?
YEAH BB
tainted love: thoughts on synthesisers/electronic drum kits/technology based music?
i have no problem with it and it can produce excellent stuff just like any older instrument
like a virgin: share a controversial opinion.
i hate avocados
karma chameleon: what do you like most about your appearance?
on good days, hair and face. otherwise, my body.
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stardustandheart · 4 years
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GRADUATING COLLEGE
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[personal]
‘What she tackles, she conquers.’
-Richard Gilmore,  Gilmore Girls, Season 6, Episode 5
wow. it's been a while. hello, my lovelies. i'm back. life is crazy.
this is me. i graduated college. yep, nbd. oh, and i LOVE Gilmore Girls.
i can't believe it. i can't believe I'm done. your girl got a Bachelor's Degree in 3 and a half years baby! just how she planned it. i get shit done because i'm a boss!
it's just crazy. it feels surreal. just like that- it’s all over. as all of my friends are getting ready to go back to class, i feel like i too should be getting ready for classes, but instead i am sitting here in awe (still) at the fact that i am done and ready to start my future as a complete adult living on my own and working!
yes, working. because I got a job. and i couldn't be happier. because, not only did i just get a job fresh out of college, but i got my DREAM job with a GREAT company. in just 3 days, i will set off to Phoenix, Arizona to begin my adventure of becoming a flight attendant, something that i knew i wanted to do since i was 5 years old. it's all happening.
okay, that's it. that was my moment to brag. but no more.
lemme tell you something. a lot, and i mean, A LOT, can happen in 3 and a half years. 3 and a half years is a long time. and whoa, i am completely different than i was back then. lemme tell you that straight up.
college is...awesome. and i don't mean awesome in the way that that word is commonly used (like "cool"). i mean awesome as in full of awe. 
it's a crazy concept, right? at the age of 18, many of us go off to a new school (often in a new city/place) to study for at least 4 years. but, if you think that getting an education/getting a degree is the main point of college, you are wrong.
think about it. we are basically thrown out there into the big, big world, after being sheltered all of our lives. it's like a survival game. it's literally a real-life survival game. and that's exactly what it felt like for me. when i first started college, everything felt so big and scary...but...it soon became comfortable.
i would argue that college is THE most important phase in someone's life. it is where we uncover the completely different side to us that we have had covered all of our lives. the freedom to be on our own enables us to think for ourselves and to make our own choices. it is where we do THE most learning. mistake after mistake, we eventually learn and we come to our own definitions of the meaning of life and what our own personal missions are in this lifetime. it is where our core values, beliefs, and perspectives are redefined and where we make the friendships that will last forever. the most beautiful thing of all? we create our own reality of the world in which we live in.
college is a beautiful time. whether you agree or not, it is what it is. and, it's beautiful. it's beautiful because it made you who you are. but, unlike everything else that happens in your life that makes you "who you are," college is special because of one thing: freedom. the freedom to look around you, the people, the places, the activities, and to think, "this is my life to make. i can take what i want here, take some over there, and i can combine it in my own beautiful way."
you feel me?
what i mean to say is, throughout my college experience, i loved the fact that i could just look around and think my own thoughts and make my very own choices, without anybody to tell me how to do anything. it was...exhilarating.
i loved college. every minute of it. even though a lot of it was really shitty. the reason i say i loved it all is because it was all just a part of my growth process.
i was fortunate enough to attend a beautiful campus that i seriously adored. i loved my environment. although i wasn't necessarily ecstatic about the energy and the vibes coming off of people around me a lot of the time, i created a beautiful aura for myself that i loved. it was like this beautiful personal little bubble around me that came with me everywhere i went. i created my own reality. life is what you make it.
i started watching the gilmore girls series on Netflix in the Fall of 2014 (the semester i began college), and was still watching it up until my last semester, this spring. no, i wasn't still trying to finish it, i had been re-watching the entire series for a second time. and, it's a lot. 7 seasons. episodes are 40 minutes each. why? because i love it and i'm obsessed. that's why, uhm duh. if you've never seen Gilmore Girls, you cray. no, i'm just kidding, but seriously. watch it. i absolutely adore this show and every time i even close my eyes to think about it, so many feelings of warmth and happiness come because i also associate it with my love, Chris, as we started talking and getting to know each other at the time. for me, Gilmore Girls is more than just a Netflix show. i lived vicariously through those girls, and i loved it. it is sweet, homey, and funny. there's romance too. i love it. there is nothing but positivity and love when i think about what that show means to me. it was a lifestyle, not just a TV show.
this quote means a lot to me, as it involves words that apply to my own self. i am an overachiever, i always do my best to go above and beyond when i am placed in a situation where i am given the opportunity to do so. that is my nature, and i am similar to Rory (who is one of the characters in the show) in that manner. going above and beyond is the only way in which you will get noticed. stand out. you'll see why in the future. and, you will thank yourself for it.
so, what did i do in college? besides party? haha, no seriously. i mean, we do go to college to study a degree of interest. as for me, i decided to pursue a Bachelor's in Communication with a concentration in Communication Studies and a Music Minor in Voice, so i could keep music under my belt.
i fell in love with my major. contrary to popular thought, the field of communication is a very fascinating one and opens the door to many careers. since i am a strong believer of communication being one of the most powerful forces in our known universe, i advocate strongly for the field and i defend it passionately. i absolutely loved going to class and learning more and more about this art every single day that i attended class. the choosing of this major (as well as the combination of my majors) did not come easy, however. a lot of discernment went into my decision. and when it felt right (you just know), was when i made my decision and made it official on paper.
i met my sweetheart, my love, Christopher, in college. we've been together for 3 years now. so. crazy. that in itself is a great plus about my own college experience. it may be the same case for some of you as well, and well, you know exactly what i'm talking about.
there are those college graduates who were involved in a hundred different clubs and organizations, sororities/fraternities, and such. there are those who got to do more fun stuff, like going on a cruise or traveling outside of the country. then, there are those who had it even "worse" than i did. i put that word in quotes because everything, and i mean everything in life is all about perspective. from the outside, people can judge somebody's college experience and say it was "bad," but to that college graduate, it might have been the best time of their lives. or, if it wasn't, they have learned to accept that they still wouldn't trade it for anything because it was all a part of their story. they trusted the process. sure, i could have had a "better" college journey (call it what you will). i could've traveled more, gotten a nice, new car, etc... but, i wouldn't trade my experience for anything in the whole world. why? because it was mine, all to call my very own and nobody else's.
SO. my overall message to you beautiful souls today?
freedom. seek it. be HUNGRY for it. go get it.
create you own unique aura. make it beautiful, please.
always go above and beyond. be the fruit loop in the bowl of cheerios.
love everything.
trust the process.
life is what you make it. make it great.
XOXO- jami
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delightfully-daisy · 7 years
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CHARACTER SHEET: DAISY AUDREY ELOISE CANARD
And she's been living on the highest shelf... Oh, and they come unstuck Lady, running down to the riptide Taken away to the dark side
[TW: sexual assault mentions; eating disorder mentions]
STATS
Birthday: 14 January 1995
Hogwarts House (Primary): Ravenclaw
Hogwarts House (Secondary): Hufflepuff
Myers-Briggs: ESFJ
Enneagram: Type 3
Height:  5’4
BACKGROUND OVERVIEW
Mother: Lilian Ophelia Marie Harcourt Canard
Father: Jacques Didier Canard
Mother’s Occupation: lawyer—business law
Father’s Occupation: stockbrocker
Family Finances: quite wealthy—combination of old money on both ends, as well as parents’ own ambitions and finances
Birth Order: middle child
Siblings: Nicolas Etienne Jeannot Canard (24); Andre Leon Charles Canard (19)
Other Close Family: Aunt Cecile on her dad’s side (who has a girlfriend and is like super cool and a movie producer); she has another aunt on that side who has two kids her and Nic’s ages but I don’t have my notebook on hand so I cant look up their names oh well; Lilian is an only child
Best Friend: Clarke
Other Friends: Annette Grant, Hermes Petros, Toulouse Bonfamille, Stanley Schell, Abby and Tabitha
Enemies: Tito? Lol she thinks so :C
Pets: a cat named Sabrina! Her family also has two dogs named Gigi and Fifi
Home Life During Childhood: her parents were both very busy, but she and her siblings were very close and her dad made a huge insistence on family time when they were together; to this day they have a designated week in late July and winter where they go on vacations together; she’s very close with Nic and her dad; Andre can be a bit of a brat; she clashed with her mother a bit growing up but she’s starting to understand her more
Town or City Name(s): Paris, France
What Did Her Bedroom Look Like: very nice and spacious, big windows with a nice view, she has a canopy bed, everything is in pastel colors, lots of whites and pinks—nothing too loud, everything soft like a Rococo painting, a big walk-in closet, a nicely lit vanity, the artwork in there is carefully selected, everything has its place
Any Sports or Clubs: did newspaper also probably a creative writing club; used to fence and do ballet, but quite around 13/14 years old
Favorite Toy or Game: loved paper dolls
Schooling: one last semester at Pride U; probably did some pretty expensive private school in Paris
Favorite Subject: Composition, Art History
Popular or Loner: Popular!
Important Experiences or Events: was sexually assaulted at 17, her then-boyfriend lied about it and harassed her for months after
Health Problems: undiagnosed anxiety, lowkey makes herself throw up after eating sometimes also
Culture: French
Religion and beliefs: Raised Catholic, she wants to believe in a benevolent God but does not really like the Catholic church; she wants to believe in the goodness of people
 PERSONALITY
Bad Habits:  worries, limits her food intake a lot haha, has a tendency to keep her emotions inside before lashing out, cries a lot
Good Habits: uh, organized, keeps up with her fitness, ambitious, kind-hearted (in her own way), stylish
Best Characteristic: determined—once she sets her mind on something or someone, she will not quit
Worst Characteristic: scared—her number one limitation in life is that she is too scared to take chances/take risks/do anything without security
Worst Memory: the whole sexual assault thing and also the night she broke up with Tito
Best Memory: oh gosh, probably getting her bike back
Proud of: not much lol, uh maybe her fashion sense, she’s like really insecure though and attributes all her successes to other factors, poor bby
Embarrassed by: e v e r y t h I ng have you seen how much this girl blushes
Driving Style: she’s a fantastic driver—fast, daring, drives stick-shift in heels, cuts tight corners on her motorcycle, she’s fab, best driver of my characters (except maybe for Eva, but that’s cuz Eva has heightened reflexes lol); does have a tendency to speed, but doesn’t do it except on isolated roads
Strong Points: determined, hard working, kind-hearted, stylish
Temperament: gosh im not sure its like a mix of sanguine and melancholic
Attitude: outwardly, confident and determined; inwardly, really fuckin’ anxious and insecure about everything
Weakness: she’s so insecure and not good with criticism and she’s soft little flower it is easy to crush her
Fears: everything—not being good enough is the main one though
Phobias: see above lol
Secrets: not too open about the whole sexual assault thing for obvious reasons, also he like harassed her for months afterwards
Regrets: every romantic relationship she’s ever had because it makes her seem stupid and heartless and foolish
Feels Vulnerable When: uh always? When she’s being emotional, tbh, since she’s been told to restrict that
Pet Peeves: people who assume she’s dumb, people who assume she’s shallow
Conflicts: oh gosh where to begin—the fact that she wants the world to be this good, ideal place where she has the ability to help it, but the reality that class differences/prejudices in other areas are very real and very hard to overcome; her own desire to do more with her life, but knowing that rejecting her family’s values would not be good, and she really loves her family; navigating being a soft woman in a world that otherwise respects hard, sharp ones
Motivation: She wants to be successful and to make a change in the world.
Short Term Goals and Hopes: Graduate, get a good job somewhere in a big city.
Long Term Goals and Hopes: Rise to the top of her career, hopefully get married at one point.
Sexuality: bisexual
Exercise Routine: goes to spin class three times a week, does a barre class twice a week, weight training the other days, very committed exercise schedule
Day or Night Person — Day.
Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert.
Optimist or Pessimist — Pessimist, though she tries to be optimistic to other people.
LIKES AND STYLES
Music: girly pop, MUSICALS—she’s a huge musical gal, sings in the shower all the time. Loves taylor swift, knows that its problematic to love taylor swift, but does so in that well #feminism way that’s also lowkey problematic ahaha. Her iTunes is mostly musicals and pop and some classical music too, she likes ballet music.
Books: classics and romance novels; also some trashy YA romance; went through a John Green phase in her high school years; her favourite book is The Bell Jar. She also reads those like “Oprah Book of the Month” club books and enjoys them. Gets most of her reading list from bestsellers lists.
Magazines: VOGUE aka the Bible; also Cosmo and Marie Claire and other high-fashion magazines; whatever the French equivalent of Time is, but also Time; started a subscription to the New Yorker whilst she was in NYC and keeps up with it
Foods: has a sweet tooth—loves chocolate. Chocolate-covered strawberries are her favorite. She thinks she can handle spicy, but she can’t really.
Drinks: Margaritas are her cocktail of choice; she loves champagne and lattes
Animals: cats! Also she loves swans and thinks its so romantic that they mate for life, but she won’t admit that lol
Sports: follows Formula One racing tbh and also fencing
Social Issues: Feminism! (she’s like lowkey a bit of a white feminist) Magick Rights! (lowkey also a bit of a problematic activist in everything; she’s trying though) Also involved in environmental issues!! (she works on a turtle fund thing with Stan)
Favorite Saying: “I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” – Audrey Hepburn
Color: Pink!! Any and all shades! Also likes a nice rose-gold. Fond of pastel colors in decorating.
Clothing: Has a very classy, preppy style; lots of skirts and blazers; usually always in heels; most everything is designer and high-end; she takes pride in her style; she also dresses more on the conservative end, but does own a few sexier pieces
Jewelry: very classy, never overdoes herself with jewelry; simple pendants and studs
Games: played the Sims a lot, played racing games with her brothers, Mario Kart fan too
Websites: Instagram—also has a finsta bc she’s hip; tumblr; Pinterest
TV Shows: Downton Abbey, Sex and the City
Movies: The Devil Wears Prada!! (Also Titanic)
Greatest Want: To be successful and make a difference in the world
Greatest Need: To overcome her fears
CURRENTLY 
Home: lives in Castle Suites in a very luxurious one-bedroom flat
Household furnishings: everything is impeccably decorated, lots of pastels and golds, there’s a big window in the living room (which has like white furniture and soft lights everywhere, big white rug on the floor, lots of throw pillows), her room has a big bed with lots of pillows and her closet is organized by type of clothes and colour
Favorite Possession: her car
Most Cherished Possession: her motorcycle
Married Before: Nope.
Significant Other Before: Tito (rip); asshole French boyfriend, Michel
Children: n/a
Relationship with Family:  huge Daddy’s girl, but Daddy is also very busy and not super around all the time and she doesn’t really confide in him; very close to older brother, Nic, sometimes they feel like they are the only people in the world they can trust; younger brother has a strained relationship bc he can be kinda douche but they love each other; relationship with mother is---complicated, they are very similar and often butt heads because of their differences though and Lilian thinks she knows what’s best etc etc and Daisy is just starting to see her mom in a new light
Car: BMW, she also has a motorcycle
Career: journalism student, editor-in-chief of campus magazine: Social
Dream Career: editor in chief of a fashion magazine that also has like a huge philanthropy side
Dream Life: said career, has not given much thought to the like actual life part of it, but ideally she’d like to be married to the love of her life and have two kids as well
Love Life: uh imma get back to you on that
Hobbies : reading, dancing (she loves dancing), driving, sketching fashions, cleaning (lol), amateur baker, used to be a fencer, writing (she used to write short stories but has not in a while)
Guilty Pleasure : those trashy Harlequin romance novels….
Sports or Clubs: Social, PrideU’s premier campus lifestyle magazine; probably involved in like journalism clubs
Talents or Skills : she’s a great dancer and a fantastic driver; also a good writer
Intelligence Level : she is great auditory learner, very sharp and quick to pick up what she listens too; writes the best out of my characters; reads a lot too; not great at sciences or math, but she tries her best and the hard work pays off; a fan of history, but only as it relates to cultural stuff (wars bore her); the most emotionally aware of others of my characters, can read people well
Finances: wealthy—parents are wealthy each from their individual families and from their own careers, pay for their children
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