I’m really glad you’re still active on here but also understood your post about how keeping talking about the OC can bring you down and that you felt like you need to find a way to channel your energy so you can talk more positively about it and I totally feel you on this! I’ve been having such a hard time dealing with the way a show I’ve been completely immersed into for the past couple of years has affected me. Loving characters and seeing them suffer through ridiculous writing can be so harmful for people who struggle with mental health (I’m “people”.) I love them and I can’t let them go but now what brought me joy makes me cry, how to make peace with it? I love creating content and it devastates me to see people stopped caring about them because everybody got so disappointed at what the show did that they don’t give a damn anymore. I feel so stupid for not letting go, people keep telling me to move on, they don’t understand how hard it is, it was something that kept me going, that helped me go back to writing and creating and I feel so strongly about these characters I want to keep them alive in a beautiful way unlike what the show did to them. It sucks I’m the only one interested in it, which makes me feel very alone and very silly. Sorry for this rant, I wanted to ask you if you feel like you’re getting there, meaning if you’re managing to think of it more positively and not letting it bring you down? I hope so, and thank you for everything you do for this fandom, thank you for loving Marissa the way you do!💌

Hi sweetheart, I'm sorry I didn't get to your message for a little bit. You have no idea how touched I am that you find comfort in my blog here and I feel bad that I need to take breaks from it. I'm truly so sorry that you're still feeling the way you do about the show that broke your heart. I haven't much to offer in solace but immersing myself in things I like such as old shows and books helps me. It actually does. I guess I'm someone that needs to obsess over something? I acknowledge that the show that broke your heart is probably one that you used to find comfort in. That's so tough, and you probably feel weird that you're still so affected by it years later. Because same.

I have other things in my life bringing me down right now (mainly my family) but my relationship to this show is still weird. I was at dinner last night with a friend and she mentioned that she's almost finished with s1 and I honestly cringed. I said the s1 finale was my favorite episode but we didn't continue discussing it because she knows I have a weird relationship to the show. I haven't felt right getting back into my fics either. I think creating art for this show also inevitably pushes me back into the shit of it all and that's no fun. So if that stresses you out, don't do it. Making gifs doesn't put me in that funk which is good but my computer acts like it's having a heart attack anytime I open Photoshop so I haven't been giffing much. I have a new computer coming in two weeks, though. Rewatching an old show I loved when I was a young teen honestly brought me so much joy. So maybe try that? Or listen to a good podcast/audiobook? I think I always need something else to fixate on and it helps to distract myself from things that hurt me. I don't think I've helped here at all but I'm always here to talk to!

to a love that knows no bounds.