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#goofy stuff
insanityisfine · 3 months
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Ohhh while Jesse is with Delilah she and Ash are kind of awkward around each other and Jesse tries not to act too much like a mom cause she knows that'd be weird and besides Delilah is the kids mom not her....
Then one of other rockets like Cassidy or Bitch try to attack the kid while Jesse is there (maybe he's hurt or something from a stunt he pulled and she came to check on him?) And she just goes full protective mama bear mode and kicks their asses barehanded because how *dare* they attack her kid?!?
James and Meowth are recording and eating popcorn on the side.
Following Kiana's (head)canon, Cassidy and Butch also left Team Rocket, and I personally like that path for them. I see them being ~fancy~ thieves myself, so robbing museums and jewlery and such, so, leaving Ash and his friends behind. (also love the typo of you calling Butch Bitch, because, well, he is one lmaooo).
I definitely see Jessie being agressively protective over Ash when he's injured/in trouble (or she thinks he is), but I think it would be hilarious if it came out randomly, and during the period of time where they're still getting used to each other.
My version of this perfect scenario would be Ash training some of his Pokémon, and everyone gets a bit too excited, and Ash ends up falling to the ground. Cue Jessie, who was keeping an eye on things, both because she knows Delia would want her to, and she's a Pokémon nerd herself, running in, guns and eyes blazing, flipping a grown ass Torterra on his back with her bare hands, yelling at it to not hurt her kid.
James and Meowth are stuck in place, because their brains can't decide between laughing, helping Torterra, thinking it's kinda cute, and teasing Jessie over her parental instincts. They're just there like
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Both Delia and Professor Oak are at work, and both sent James and Meowth respectively to keep an eye on Jessie keeping an eye on Ash. Both almost get heart attacks when they take too long to come back.
In the end, Jessie gets over James' and Meowth's teasing because Delia is even cuddlier than usual, and Ash starts wanting to train his Pokémon by making them fight Jessie. They don't like that idea and go on strike, with Meowth as their spokesmon.
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cloverthemonke · 2 months
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𝗧𝗘𝗠𝗠𝗜𝗘.
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luckyshotwrites · 6 months
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Ch. 85 // Idiocy // Day 59
Contents (Warnings): Lynette starts her training (slight angst, vore mentions, character and monster info as always). Read full chapter on A03
Wordcount: 2,138 (Sorry, I've been busy with some irl problems and new puppy!)
Song I correlate to this Chapter: Not found yet!
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(Nov. 25th, Friday)
Lynette
We were still off for Thanksgiving 'weekend'. Work resumed tomorrow, Saturday. So, Wicks took it upon himself to stage our training today.
That's why I was a bouncy, nervous wreck. I never used a weapon to fight someone before. 
I also wasn't thrilled to see Garter coming along. Not because I disliked him, I liked Garter, but I didn't want more people to witness my incompetence.
I don't want them laughing at me later. 
A hand gently caressed my back, rubbing it rough and reassuringly simultaneously. It jostled my sweater. "It'll be fine. We are going over the basics today. You need to learn how to handle a knife first."
Knife? Wicks hadn't mentioned what the weapon was until now. I can't imagine a stab wound would do anything against them. They could use reversal magic and then crush me into dust.
I didn't like the idea of being a tub of protein powder.
Lev. My mind whirled back to the blender incident. I knew I'd be okay. I didn't end up injured, but I'd never want that to happen again, even if I had the shrink potion.
The umber-skinned male came into view. There was always a cheer in his smile, "If you do good today, we can get ice cream too."
It's a very tempting incentive. I had to act like it wasn't—Wicks remained on standby. He waited to joke with me about being excited for some ice cream. 
I held it back. "That sounds lovely."
"You're trying too hard, Lentils." Wicks whispered to me.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I raised my chin and crossed my arms. 
"And if you fail today, no ice cream," Garter said. 
"What!"
Wicks pulled his arm back, "Yep. You even have to watch us eat it."
Garter pulled back when the elevator dinged for our floor. "Good idea, Boss. We get ice cream regardless. I like it."
"That's not fair," I whimpered. How can they be so cruel? 
Wicks stepped out first. The elevator itself already looked to be of a higher class with the mirrors behind us and the sheer size, capacity, and trim. However, the inside of the building itself felt eerily imposing. Everything looked to be made from wood, polished and gleaming with an invitation I didn't ask for.
The space felt so vast I imagined it'd fit at least two Naga's comfortably, plus I could see there were several halls that looked to branch in different directions as if they were at the center of a maze.
And worst of all, it was quiet. I didn't hear much coming from any direction, except a light tapping that I couldn't see the owner of.
Another subject that made little sense, despite the ornate details done to the walls and grand arches above, there are no chairs, tables or artwork. Nothing.
I barely took a few steps outside, before Garter threw his head in front of me. "Don't worry, I can sneak you some ice cream if you do badly."
He's sweet. 
"Thanks," I whispered back. 
The mystery behind the tapping was solved.
Garter and I moved out of the way for the thin, stalky male, much like Garter, to scramble forward. He went straight for the elevator. I ducked under the long rolls of papers.
They look like building schematics. Is this place new?
"Oh, sorry!" Their voice left in a timid croak. He flipped back to face us—he huffed, and his short chestnut locks spurred out as rushed as he was. 
"You okay, Zetsu?" Wicks put a hand on my arm and pulled me closer, unconsciously. 
He nodded, then heard the elevator door closing, and blocked it with his foot and body. It made his papers fall from his arms and onto the ground. "Ah!" Garter got the door for him while Wicks and I helped clean up. 
"I'm sorry my head has been spinning lately." I piled a few scrolls into his arms.
Wicks loaded the last scroll, "I also thought you were leading us to our block today?"
His loose smile dropped, "Yes! Good thing you caught me, ha, ha..." he let his head fall to the side. He muttered more apologies under his breath. "You're in block D, and the training weapons are out. I just got called upstairs." He bowed his head, "Thank you, Wicks, and..."
He stopped his bow. His vibrant violet eyes, which reminded me of Zilla and Zane's, inspected every inch of me. I felt like they picked at every detail of me. 
"I don't think we've met?"
"She's a new recruit," Wicks said. 
I was told to pretend Wicks and I didn't know each other and I was a rank, classless.
"Well, hello, I'm Zetsûboooooooo," he attempted to put his hand out to me and almost dropped them all again. I threw my hands against him to help keep them in place. He fixed his grip. "Thank you, and call me Zetsu for short."
"I'm Lynette, nice to meet you, Zetsu." I shared a smile, "No handshakes are necessary. You worry about getting to where you got to go with all of those intact."
As I said that, the elevator door Garter was holding open beeped. 
Zetsu threw himself back into it so it could close. "Okay! Thank you, and nice to meet you too, Lynette!" The door closed after.
"Is he a friend of yours too?" I asked Wicks.
"Kinda..." Wicks shifted his gaze. Garter pulled back from the elevator in toe. 
"Did something happen?" I asked, absentmindedly tugging at his hoodie. Is he dangerous? He seemed fine? I'm not the best judge of character, am I? My head scrolled back to Claudia. I would have never known...
Wicks peered down and gently put his hand on mine. "I'll tell you later." 
Garter walked ahead of us, leading. I released his hoodie. Should I be worried? Did I meet some kind of terrible beast? Why would Wicks not want to talk about it now? Were they something to him before.
My eyes widened, and I gasped, "was that the person you were dating? IT wasn't a LIE!"
Wicks stopped in his tracks. He flicked his head to me immediately, utterly confused.
Garter quickly got to us. He used my head as an armrest and encroached upon Wicks's face. "YOU WERE DATING SOMEONE?!" 
The anxious befuddlement grew on my brother's face. "What are you..." he trailed off. Put his lips together to keep his mouth shut and backed up. 
"You were lying to me!" I exclaimed. Garter was still using my head as a rest. 
He yelled out, putting his hands over his face. "I'M SORRY! I couldn't think of anything else to say that might sound plausible! I couldn't tell you the truth yet."
The fingers he tangled with his hair pulled more strands out, and it fell over his face.
His best friend finally let me move freely. "You shouldn't lie about a bond mate if you're embarrassed. I'm without one, but I carry it with pride." 
"It wasn't for that, Garter!" Wicks pushed himself ahead. "No more talking about this, especially not in the halls. Let's get your training started." 
...
Wicks
I can't hurt her. He didn't realize how hard it would be to simply grab Lynette out of things. 
He constantly hesitated and retreated from any slash she did.
Thus, he called a break so she could keep going over the feel, weight, and motions he taught her. 
"What's the matter, Boss?" Garter questioned. His friend loved getting up close and personal with people and to make himself their "height". Every time you do that, I feel smaller...
"What did I say about-" Wicks cut himself off and exhaled. He wouldn't argue about the 'boss' nickname today. He pressed his back further into the wall. "I'm so afraid I might hurt her."
Garter looked over at Lynette, who had her back to them. She was determined, to say the least, even though her form was subpar at best. Especially when she stood before Wicks or Garter with the training weapon. Her hands shook like a chihuahua outside in a thunderstorm. 
"You put a cloak on her; she'll be fine." Garter gave two thumbs up as reassurance. 
"yeah." Wicks bit the bottom of his lip. I would never go that hard on her, but I don't know why I keep imagining it. "I don't know."
Garter stood up straight. He tilted his head to stare at the high ceiling. Then, a bright grin peeled open his lips, his very subtle incisors were shown. "Let me take over. I'll gladly train her!"
What?! "Garter-"
He didn't even let Wicks rebuttal. 
The tall lad made his way across the grounds and to Lynette. "Hey Lynette, I will be your training partner today instead of Wicks!"
Wicks glanced back and forth between her and Garter. She looks tiny. 
The Oni of the mountains waved both of his hands at him when he saw Wicks's concern. "It'll be fine, boss—I'll go super easy on her! Trust me!"
Lynette peered at her big brother. He wouldn't dare... Garter had a track record of hunting smaller prey. They got most of those urges out with training, yet he still falls victim to it occasionally.
The only reason I even brought Garter was because I promised him we'd get some training in today. "Sounds good." Wicks shouted back. He said it for Lynette's nerves and gave the go ahead to Garter. I'll trust him.
Wicks thought, though he intently watched every motion Garter made. 
So far, his best friend didn't purposefully try to break the cloak; instead, Garter never gave her a chance to strike him. He'd quickly grab her out of a strike, pin her down, disarm her, or hold her arms up so she couldn't attack him.
He's just bullying her. 
Wicks sighed, he undid his ponytail entirely. He pet at his straighter hair. He gathered a few things so far. I should start training her in basic combat too. If she knows how to properly move and hit someone, she'd be more effect with a knife. She's relying on the strikes too much.
Garters tease echoed out in the empty, magic enfused steel room, "Do you like getting caught?"
"No!" Lynette whimpered with slight frustration. "I just never fought anyone before!"
Garter returned her knife after he poked her stomach with it, "Weird. Where I came from, you learn to fight as soon as you can walk." He waited for her to get back into a stance. He did the same. "How about I call you what we do to those who haven't learned to fight yet."
"An insult?"
He snickered, "a ginkoose, which translates to a child with newborn strength." 
Lynette shook her head in protest, "It's not my fault you guys are stronger than me—you guys are monsters."  
"In human cases, most monsters aren't much stronger or faster than humans." Garter laughed and pounced at Lynette, "So you're using excuses~!"
Lynette avoided him and continued to do so. Garter gave chase. It's going better than I thought it would. 
And, of course, as soon as Wicks thought that, he noticed Garter's black hair shifting white and flaring with volume.
Wicks pushed off the wall and ran at them, specifically for Garter. "HEY, GARTER, STOP, DON'T YOU DARE!" He couldn't let his friend try and eat Lynette.
Wicks got to Lynette, yanked her out of the way and took the force of Garter's hand as his case broke. He slammed back into the wall, it wasn't that hard, so at least Wicks knew Garter didn't lose all sense of, 'being gentle'.
Once the Oni realized his mistake, now standing at thirty or so feet tall, his four arms out and one pinning Wicks to the metal wall, he let out a nervous chuckle from between his giant fangs.
"I went a little overboard huh?"
"You think?" Wicks asked with an eyebrow raise.
"Are you okay?" Lynette got closer.
Wicks shot her a glare, warning her not too.
Garter didn't let his grip go, "does this technically mean I win since I trapped you?" His best friend said, "and if it does that mean I can eat you?"
A dastardly laugh broke out of Wicks vocal cords, he stared at Garter, "you're in direct contact with a magus, I'm not unconscious nor even trying to use any magic. Then, after trying to get my sister, you have the audacity to ask me if you can eat me?"
"Yes?" Garter said, plainly.
There was a long pause before Wicks noticed the seriousness on Garter's face, accompanied by the innocent puppy dog eyes. Wicks flailed his legs, "YOU AREN'T GOING TO CONVINCE ME, NOW PUT ME DOWN BEFORE I MAKE A SNACK OUT OF YOUR ENERGY!"
...
Hey, you, thank you so much for reading. I'm glad I put out a story that people can enjoy! I hope you continue to enjoy it as WE have a LOT more to go! YOU BETTER KEEP PROSPERING! (Nonnegotiable, as always~).
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Catch up, see some maps/art, or check the latest release dates down below  ↓ ↓ ↓ 
What I’d do for a Livable Income (Synopsis/Chapter - List)
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chaoslovinganastasia · 8 months
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flesh-paint · 5 months
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Ey stinky..here comes monkey..😈😈😈😈🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
WOAH CALM DOWN BROTHER
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@sergi07
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questions-from-d87 · 3 months
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requijavi is bbg4bbg
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windsofredemption · 7 months
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Pumkin: Zamzy- What are you drinking?
Zamasu: I was told it's a mortal beverage, and that its a delicacy... it tastes awful, though...
Pumkin: *tastes the 'drink'* .... THAT'S HAND SOAP.
Zamasu: .... o_o
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futurebird · 7 months
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My husband had this tradition at his old job as a journalist where if they had to work a long night on the way out they delivered "the parting shots" things you can say that sound good on the surface... until you think about it.
"Bill? This has been a day I won't forget easily." "Sarah? You really wrote one of the articles of all time." "Jake? Tremendous effort tonight." "It was a crazy night, and whenever it was at its worst? Well you were right there."
etc.
Do you have a "parting shot?"
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excessivepyromania · 1 year
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Me when I have nobody to annoy about my hyperfixation constantly and nobody to annoy me back constantly about my hyperfixation. Why is no one on my level of SHEER DOPAMINE I get from looking at FUNNY MEN!!!!!
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buggernaut-kal · 1 year
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Before I finished the script for what's now Chapter 0 I made this comic to get acquainted with making comics in CSP, so consider this the earliest Thermal Shock comic by technicality.
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mytoehurt69 · 1 year
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IM SENDING THIS TO THE POLICE
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plebeiangoth · 2 days
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Many years ago, my friends and I were trying to find a gas station in Shakopee and my Garmin for some ungodly reason insisted this warehouse was a gas station. Naturally we drove our van into the parking lot and started spinning shitties while vaping massive clouds out all the windows (we were going through a phase) screaming
"They're machine warschable and dryable!"
before continuing to a Super America (rest in peace) down the road. That was a fun weekend, we were just at Valley Fair because my job at the time had some promotional passes that were about to expire so we got them for free, and the night before was a Boris concert in Minneapolis. Good times.
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cloverthemonke · 5 months
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YAHOO I FINISHED IT! (finally)
Uhhh yeah this is my security breach oc! I love the design sm lol
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bonybunny · 7 days
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Why does all my goofy stuff get more likes then the things I put a shit ton of time and effort into....
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tybalts-boyfriend · 3 months
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whateveriwant · 2 months
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Simon Riley rough sex this. Simon Riley hard kink that. What about silly sex with Simon, huh? What about fun, carefree sex? What about goofy, awkward, ‘Ouch, you're on my hair’ / ‘Oh shit, sorry, love’ sex with Simon? Huh??? Ever think about that?
Simon who trips and falls after getting his feet caught in his trousers. Simon who fumbles his words as he tries to dirty talk, because you just feel so damn good he can't think straight. Simon whose sweat drips and stings your eyes as he holds himself above you. Simon who attempts to keep a straight face after one of you makes a fart noise, but then he breaks, which makes you break, and then you're both just dissolving into a fit of laughter. Simon who accidentally elbows you in the head as you're changing positions. Simon who misses your lips as he tries to kiss you in the dark, catching the tip of your nose instead. Simon whose voice cracks super loudly in the middle of a moan. Simon who forgot to lock the cat out of the room, and now she's jumping on the bed with you. Simon who has to pause and take five minutes after he gets a bad cramp in his leg. Simon who grins and chuckles to himself as he cums, biting his lip as he's overwhelmed by a feeling of bliss.
And finally, neither Simon nor you really worried about finishing, because at the end of the day all you care about is having fun together.
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