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permanentstickingcharm-blog · 7 years

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Love Sick, Love Potion.

Sirius Black with a love potion? oh dear.

Sirius Black x Reader

Warnings: profanity, sirius black as an un-glamorous crying mess.

It was your sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy. For a muggle born witch, you weren't a bad student at all. You were best friends with Lily Evans and Marlene Mckinnon, who were both brilliant as witches go. But every good thing had it's drawbacks. Lily Evans was the target of one James Potter who was one of the members of the Marauders, a sort of gang that was notorious for running pranks all over the school no matter what time and place. Not that they were a bad lot in your book, they were funny and smart as hell, it's just that trouble followed wherever they went, and there ever you and lily go, they followed. But not long after your group and his met, you guys were inseparable.

You and Remus got along quite well, seeing as books were the only refuge the two of you had from the bustling school life of Hogwarts. James, Sirius and peter didn;t really understand the love you two had for the books.

'Honestly, you two. It's just words on paper! There's not even any pictures in it!'

You and James bonded with talk of Quidditch. It was all very interesting for you and with james being the gryffindor house team chaser, he was more than happy to talk you through every detail.

'You have got to let me teach you to play, sometime'

You and Peter got along with food. Now, This boy has the greatest food stash under his bed giving the kitchens a run for their money. and when you needed a quick fix, you didn't need to go down in the kitchens anymore, you just went to the boys room and reach under peter's bed.

'Oh, go on, help yourself'

You and Sirius were a different story. Back in your third hear he had found you crying up in the Astronomy tower clutching a letter from you parents saying that you weren't allowed to come home anymore. Of all the people who'd have know hatred from theit families, Sirius black was the one who took it quite well, in your opinion at least.he calmed you down and he let you sleep in his bed with his arms around you, rubbing circles on your shoulders. Slowly but surely, you fell asleep. Slowly but surely, you also fell for him.

'hush, now. it's alright, love. i've got you"

Life was good, after you were kicked out by your parents, Mr. and Mrs. Evans agreed to take you in during the summer breaks, and occasionally, Mr and Mrs. Potter too. Especially during the full moon when Remus would succumb to his lycanthropy. They would bring remus back to you in the dead of night and you would be the one to heal him with you exceptional skill at healing spells. Things got easier last year when the three boys completed their transformations as animagi to help their best mate during his full moons.

Every time you had a nightmare, it was Sirius you ran to, everything about the boy calmed you down, his warmth, his scent, his voice. Little by little he realized that he thought of you more than just a friend.

This night was no different than the others nights you've had nightmares, you woke up covered in a thin layer of sweat, tears spilling over your tired eyes. You kept dreaming about your parents and how they would never love you and how they would never want to see you again. Thrashed around in you bed a lot until the movement jerks you awake always finding new scratches on your skin caused by yourself. You got off the bed and exited the dormitory making your way to the stairs that were parallel to yours. you tiptoed towards the door and opening it carefully as to not make a sound and found your was to sirius' bedside.

"Sirius," you whispered, sitting lightly on his bes

"(y/n)?" he groaned, his hand searching in the darkness till they make contact with yours. then he gently pulled you towards him laying your head down on his chest and wrapping you with his strong arms. "just a dream," he mumbled, "s'alright i've got you, love." he said running his fingers through your hair till you drifted off to sleep.

Woke with a start, panicking that you might be late to one of your classes, until you realized that it was a saturday. Sirius wasn't beside you and the feeling of dread just decided to cover you, the dormitory was empty, funny, you used to wake up before all of the boys did. You made your way back to the girl's dorm and changed your clothes and decided to look for your friends.

In the Great Hall, it was warmer and busier compared to the quiet that loomed over the common room. Flying hearts and cute cherubs on pink clouds scattered the enchanted ceiling in celebration of the Valentine's season.People were bustling in and out of the hall excited for the upcoming the hogsmeade trip. You spotted Lily over at the gryffindor table sitting across Marlene, eating lunch. you approached them and took your customary seat on the left side of your best friend.

"Morning," you smiled raising an eyebrow and waving a hand at the overly extravagant decor, "a bit much isn't it?"

"No, i think its perfect" Lily sighed.

"That's because unlike me and (y/n) over here, you've got boys chasing after you" Marlene snickered. You laughed along while piling food onto your plate.

"Yeah, and not to mention an actual chaser of the gryffindor quidditch team is actually 'chasing' you" you teased, air-quoting.

"Shove off, you two," said Lily returning her attention to her potatoes, "if you're talking about James Potter i agreed to-"

"did i hear someone say my name?!"

You turned your heads towards the voice that boomed a few feed away from you and saw James Potter and the rest of his gang walking towards your little group.

"Speak of the devil." Marlene said under her breath as you took to checking each of the marauders until you found the pair of gray eyes that you were looking for.

Sirius Black smirked at you and you could've sworn your heart skipped a beat of two, your breath hitched and you looked down as if your pile of mash was suddenly more interesting.

"Hello there, my Lily-flower."James dropped down on the bench on the other side of lily, throwing an arm over her shoulders, while you felt someone sit carefully on the space on your other side. you didn't really want to think about who it was but you definitely had an inkling. Your heart beat faster than a humming bird's wings and nearly stopped the moment the smell of musk, mint, and smoke hit your nose.

'Close enough to smell' you thought, your brow furrowed at the thought and tried to push the feeling down. You felt a pair of eyes boring holes at the side of your head, you found a difficulty in chewing and forcefully swallowed the food in your mouth as if your throat has dried up and closed down.

"Save it, Potter," Lily said, rolling her eyes and shrugging James' arm off of her "I only said yes so you'd stop begging."

"Ouch," James dramatically said clutching his chest in mock offense, "well, i would've begged till the end of the world,babe," he smiled, "and besides nothing is set in stone.. you might like what i have in store for you." he said, winking and wiggling his eyebrows causing Lily to roll her eyes

"Hi." Sirius whispered to you smiling shyly "alright there, love? how'd you sleep? sorry to leave you in the dormitories, the boys and i have had a previous engagement that nee--"

"Sirius, you don;t need to apologize or explain yourself," you laughed in disbelief, "i should be the one apologizing to you, disturbing you in ungodly hours of the night." your smile dissipating " and Hi to you too." you whispered back feeling the blush creeping on to your face as you looked down at your food again thinking of transfiguration to distract you from the overwhelming presence beside you.

"anything for you, (y/n)," he smiled. i wonder if he means that, wait, no.

"thank you, sirius" you said with a loving smile and you could've sworn you heard his breath hitch at the sight of you, but he tried covering it with a cough, but not very convincingly though as the red on his face was quite noticeable.

"Well!" Sirius clapped his hands together startling you out of your reverie. "Who's up for a Hogsmeade trip?" he suggested as a series of "me" and " I am" were said in response.

"I-I think I'll pass," You said quietly earning series of stares from your friends.

"WHAT?! WHY?," cried sirius

"got lots of homework to catch up to." you said quietly.

"(y/n) you cant make me go with them alone!" sirius begged, obviously aiming for the dramatics "they'll drive me crazy!"

"speak for yourself, black" Lily chided

"then stay," you whispered to him, he looked at you in disbelief, then started thinking if the one on one time with you was worth missing the hogsmeade trip.

"nahh," he said earning a great big pout from you, he looked horribly flustered at your disappointmet "(y/n)? w-wha-- please don't be-- I-Im sorry" he sighed "look if you want me to stay i will, like i said, anything for you." he smiled but still looked kinda disappointed.

"i'm kidding, sirius!" you laughed out loud " who am i to keep you indoors, im not your girlfriend, or your mother" you said shrugging, wanting to be the former, but you didn't say that out loud "and on that note, I'll see you guys later, enjoy your trip." and with that you rose up from your seat and headed off to the common rooms leaving a shocked and disappointed looking Sirius behind.

As soon as you were out of the great hall, Sirius groaned and his head fell onto the crook of his elbow on the table. If your love for Sirius Black was unknown to anybody but yourself, Sirius Black's love for you was known to every one in your circle, well, except for you.

"Why is it so hard to ask her out" he mumbled

"Because she's not that kind of girl, pads" Remus reminded him "why are you so stressed anyway? that didn't seem to be a problem back when you only saw her as a friend."

"That was before!" sirius nearly shouted in defeat "now i only see her as... her." he said shaking his head with his eyes closed. "Beautiful, smart, funny when she wants to be, i just... she's the complete opposite of me and i just cant get her out my mind. I don't understand, I'm never like this with other girls"

"Well obvioulsly, shes not like other girls" Peter added.

"Sirius, she's not that complicated." Lily laughed, placing a hand on Sirius' shoulder to comfort him.

"Yeah," Marlene joined in "think about it this way, she's shy out of her mind, an introvert at best. Honestly, if it were you, what would you do?"

Sirius rose up from his elbow and thought hard. "Yeah, i can see your point. But that doesn't help me talk to her, though."

"Then you don't see the point at all," James pointed out "jeez, man for a smart guy you really can be dense as hell. Go talk to her in private, brainless! If she likes you as much as we think she does, she wouldn't want to talk about it in public, i doubt anyone would. Honestly, if you can't grow the balls to tell her how you feel, we will!"

"Tell who about that?" you asked them overhearing their conversation as they all visibly stiffened, apparently not noticing you and that they were all huddled over the table towards each other, they straightened up and turned to look at you with wide eyes leaving only sirius hunched over and, from your point of view of his side profile, visibly paling.

"(y/n)! we thought you headed of to do homework or something?" Peter said with a smile, but his face hinted that he was hiding something else.

"Sirius," you said, brow furrowed, voice clearly filled with concern, you sat down beside him, ignoring peter and turning your body towards his and lowering your face to match his level "are you alright?"

"F-Fine" he stammered "m'fine, excuse me" he said quickly standing up and rushing out of the great hall.

"is he alright?" you asked turning to the rest of the group.

"yes! he's fine" lily answered in an obvious nervous rush. "did you need anything ? We thought you went to do some schoolwork?"

"Forgot my notes," you pointed to the pile of paper beside lily's elbow grabbing them and heading back out from the hall.

"Well, that was... something" James said spotting Sirius returning from God knows where "Oy!, where'd you run off to?" he asked clearly amused at the sight of his best friend being overly bothered by the whole thing.

"Hid." Sirius said, now pacing, "hid till she passed by". Marlene let out a laugh."s'not funny."

"For you it isn't" remus reminded again "couldn't say the same for the rest of us though, we're finding this very amusing. Notorious ladies man, Sirius black finally meets his match, and shes not even trying" he said with his shoulders shaking in laughter.

"QUIET, LUPIN!" Sirius growled "let's just go to Hogsmeade."

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Hogsmeade looked like a Post card; the little thatched cottages and shops were all covered in a layer of crisp snow; there were heart wreaths on the doors and strings of enchanted roses hanging in the trees.

The marauders with Lily and Marlene walked along the busy street with the shopkeepers and other fellow students. All of these valentines shenanigans and love struck students seemed to spark the mischievous gears in Sirius' mind to turn and to finally think of a plan to make you his.

"Hey guys," Sirius said stopping in his tracks while his companions turned to look at him "It seems I've forgotten something over at uhh--" he stammered "be right back" he said turning on his heels "see you back at the castle? especially you three" he said looking back at the three remaining marauders grinning as if signifying that he has a plan in mind. The three boys looking confused only nodded in response as Sirius ran to the shop he was meaning to go to since he stepped foot onto Hogsmeade.

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You shut your book and rubbed your eyes as you finished the weeks homework in the library. You wondered whether you friends would be back by now but you doubted it because they've only been gone for two hours since they met you back in the girl's dormitory while getting their jumpers and bonnets and scarves. You'd asked them to buy you a sugar quill because you like the distraction it gave you while working because it prevented you from over thinking, which was something you weren't a stranger to. With that being said you gathered your things and headed back to the common room passing by the kitchens to ask for a mug of hot chocolate.

The common room was quiet, its as if the whole of the Gryffindor population decided to go on the Hosmeade trip with the exception of you. You headed up to the dormitory to put away you things and grab the book you've been meaning to finish, a blanket and the mug you had asked from the kind house elves from the kitchens.

You made your way down the stairs, placed the mug onto the coffee table and sat on the good spot beside the fire place, snuggled with you blanket and started to read.

You woke up with a groan and looking out the window you see the sun setting with a brilliant show of pinks, oranges, and purples. you must have been asleep for quite a while because your joints felt stiff as you tried to stretch, then you notice the two people on the sofa in front of you.

"Hey, Lils, marlene" you said, voice still deep with sleep.

"Hey, (y/n), you're up!" Lily said with enthusiasm "the sugar quills are up in the dorms beside your bed".

You nodded, smiling. "what time did you get back?"

"About an hour before now" Marlene answered "you were having such a good sleep we didn't bother waking you" she mused.

"And the boys?" you wondered out loud.

"Up in their dorms" lily said with an exasperated breath "scheming about someting again, i could tell from the look on sirius's face when he left us in hogsmeade."

"He left you in Hogsmeade?" you asked curious as Sirius was the one who suggested the trip in the first place

"Yeah he said something about forgetting something, but he didn't say what or where, he just told the boys to meet him back at the castle " said Marlene.

Curious.

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"SERIOUSLY, SIRIUS!??!" James shouted, " A LOVE POTION?!"

"SHHHHH!" Sirius said putting a finger to his lips and lunging to tackle James on the bed with his hand muffling James' screaming. James pushed Sirius off of him raising his hands to mean he was calm.

"Sirius, you can't be serious" he said in an incredulous tone. peter snickered. "please tell me you're joking."

"Yeah, you're not THAT desperate, are you?" Remus questioned

"Thats the thing!" Sirius explained loudly running his hands through his hair in frustration "I am that desperate! i want her and if i cant do anything about it. I'm just gonna let her, no, MAKE her come to me."

"But the thing is," Peter started "once that wears off she'll still remember what had happened, could you imaging how horrible she'd feel?"

"No," Sirius said quietly "but by then i think would have some courage to tell her the truth, maybe all i need is for her to make the first move"

"Pathetic" remus blurted out shaking his head "we're are not going to get involved and watch (y/n)'s feelings get crushed because of you. If you haven't noticed, Sirius, She's out friend too"

"You don't have to get involved!," Sirius pleaded "just distract her and her friends while I do the rest. if everything goes to shit, I'll take full responsibility."

Everything went quiet and then James and Peter nodded with Remus reluctantly going along because obviously he has no other choice.

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Back in the great hall you were eating and chatting with Lily and Marlene sitting across from you, when the marauders came in and went towards you. Sirius and Remus sat on either side of you James sat beside Lily and Peter sat beside Marlene you didn't take notice of this since it wasn't anything suspicious..

"So, Lily.." James started distracting her with whatever came to his mind at the moment. The same happened with peter and Marlene and with Remus and yourself causing you to turn your back at Sirius. working quickly, Sirius un-stoppered the pink, heart shaped vial and poured all of its contents into your cup, and then he cleared his throat making you, along with everyone, look at him.

"Are you alright sirius?" you asked offering him your cup "did you want a drink?"

"Uhh no," sirius said, his wide eyes flitting from a highly amused looking James back to you "no thank you, (y/n) thanks, uhh i just wanted to ask you about your day." he said nervously while focusing on the cup still clutched in your hands.

"Well, i finished the weeks homeworks and finaly reached the end of the book i was reading." you smiled, proud of yourself "all in all it was a pretty good day" you nodded.

Sirius seeing an opportunity in your words got his own cup from the table and raised it high "let's cheers to that then." he smiled brightly that it made you feel all gooey and melted inside. "to a good day," he said.

"To a good day" you replied, taking a sip from your pumpkin juice then making a face that made lily laugh "oh- wow, that was really sweet, what the hell?"

James and the rest of the boys laughed and were suddenly all looking at you expectantly as if you were about to sprout another head.

"What?" you asked them "is there something on my face?" you asked again turning to Sirius who was now clearly buying for your undivided attention. he was now staring at you with his blazing eyes and the smirk that made your knees week.

"Uhh.." you muttered feeling the redness on spread onto you cheeks, losing you train of thought "sirius, why are you looking at me like that?" you asked looking down at you clasped hands on you lap. He reached out and lifted your face with a finger and moved closer till his cheek was touching your temple. "how are you feeling?" he asked shyly, but with an undertone of something that would make you think as if he would've fallen in love with you in a span of 5 minutes, which was impossible because Sirius Black would never look at you that way , you thought, you were only a friend to him, a very close friend, but still just a friend. He leanded back as if to get a good look at you, smirked and licked his lips while looking at yours. he moved closer and closer, holding you gaze until it was almost unbearable not to kiss him. "sirius.." you mumbled. no, you weren't ready for this. if you wanted to kiss him you would do it right. You don't want to be some new name on his list. You looked at him with concern, but his eyes showed something else, pain? anger? sadness? you weren't sure. then you dropped your gaze and turned away from him

his smirk dropped and his brow furrowed looking at all the marauders who were looking just as confused as he was.

"THAT WAS IT?!" sirius exploded, standing up in anger. startling you and the two other girls. Everyone within a five feet radius was gawking at him. You didn't like the way they were looking at him like he were a crazed animal and you reached out and grabbed his hand which was closed into a fist.

"Sirius" you hissed, pulling at his wrist trying to make him sit "Sirius, please" you pleaded.

"what? what is it? are we missing something?" Marlene asked her eyes moving from one boy to the other.

"n-nothing," said Sirius fuming and looking defeated, shoulders dropping "s'cuse me again" he mumbled walked out of the great hall.

"what's wrong with him?" you accuse the three remaining boys who just shrugged denying having know anything. ------------------------------------------------------

"IT DIDN'T WORK!" shouted Sirius, back at the dorms kicking his bed post till he heard a crack. " HOW - COULD - IT - NOT - FUCKING - WORK?!" he screamed between kicks.

"Pads, stop it" said Remus on his bed, looking up from the book he was reading "we don't know why it didn't work"

"Maybe the potion was faulty?" peter ,sitting on the floor, suggested looking at a pacing Sirius and at James who was tapping his toes, deep in thought.

"Then she would have been poisoned, wormy" James corrected

"this is bullshit! i all but embarrassed myself in front of her" he said almost pulling on his hair " what, had i just assumed that she wanted to kiss me too? fuck! how'd i become so full of my self?!"

"wow, pads! a brand new self realization" James praised, applauding "we could ask you the same question."

"har har, prongs" sirius said sarcastically

"well," peter started "maybe its because girls are always throwing themselves at you? you've always wanted for nothing when it come to the ladies but now that you've seen a girl you like and shes not like them when it comes to wooing and being wooed. i think you're just looking for a challenge don't you think?"

"i don't think so peter," Remus huffed "if Sirius saw (y/n) as just a challenge he never would lose sleep over her or if he did sleep, wake us up by saying her name over and over." Remus smirked at a snickering James, while Sirius grabbed at his chest, mouth forming a perfect 'o' shape in mock offense.

"excuuuse you moony, i do not sleep talk!" he said dramatically

"yeah you do," Remus retorted, earning a murmur of agreement from James and Peter.

"But, i digress," Sirius said taking on a more serious tone "(y/n) isn't just one of the girls i just 'happen to like'," he air quoted and sighed "guys, i think shes the one." ------------------------------------------------------

The next week was bad, heck, it was hell. Sirius had been avoiding you since that night at the great hall and apparently it was bothering you more than you think it would. The boys told you not to worry too much when you asked them, but your gut feeling told you otherwise you hated this, not seeing him except for classes where he deliberately ignored you and also ignoring the pleas of the boys to just tell you how he feels, but he just wasn't ready to face rejection, especially from a girl such as you. Little did he know that he was going to get a wake up call.

But you? you were determined to put a stop to it. you made a plan to go to the boys' dormitory during free period right after potions where professor Slughorn was, coincidentally, teaching the class on, of all things, love potions, in light of the love month.

"Of all the love potions to exist Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in existence. It's considered to be a powerful and highly dangerous potion. Despite its power, Amortentia doesn't create actual love; it's impossible to manufacture or imitate love. The person under the effect of the potion will only hold an obsession for the person who administered it. It has a different aroma for everyone who smells it, reminding each person of the things that they find most attractive, even if the person doesn't acknowledge or is unaware of their fondness for the object of their affection themselves" Slughorn stated. "The effects of the potion on a person are described to be near instantaneous; with the person who drank the potion appearing "pale and sickly" and becoming obsessed with the object of their affections, speaking of them as though "hit by a ray of purest sunlight" and becoming excited or dangerously unstable towards others." he concluded while you and the class busied yourselves with making the said potion, with moony as your partner it wasn't really that difficult since he did all the work.

As you finished and Slughorn has checked all of your cauldrons to make sure that everything was in order, he started asking for volunteers to show how the amortentia potion smelled to different people.

"Ah, (y/n)," slughorn said as he floated towads you, "please do share what you smell in the potion?"

"Oh, okay." you said unsurely, as you closed your eyes and took a whiff of the potion in front on you "er- i smell shampoo, hot chocolate, and smoke.. er- cigarette smoke" you said timidly and looked around and noticing your partner, remus, james and lily, then peter and marlene, were all staring at sirius with knowing smirks and wide eyes. Sirius was looking sheepishly at the ground red faced and flustered, cleared his thoat. Clearly they know something you don't no one seemed to notice this though just you and the marauders.

James raised his hand, an idea sparking in his mind.

"Sir," Potter started, and Slughorn acknowledging "could a love potion be brewed wrong though?" he asked, looking at Sirius " i mean, could you give a person a love potion and not have it work?"

"Ah, my dear boy," Slughorn said, taking in James's question with an utmost amused look, "he potion will not work if and only if the receiver is already in love with the person giving the potion." Slughorn smiled.

With this Sirius' head shot up slack jawed, eyes almost popping out of their sockets, "C-come again, sir?" he stammered.

"You cannot give a person a love potion if they are already in love with you, it will not take effect, mr. black" Slughorn said, and then Sirius, the other marauders, Lily and Marlene were all staring at you in wonder. Wondering what Sirius getting at, but then you mind flashed back to the last encouter you had with Sirius:

'oh- wow, that was really sweet, what the hell?'

'how are you feeling?'

'pain? anger? sadness?'

'THAT WAS IT?!'

"sirius, please"

OH, FUCK.

You were found out, sirius had slipped a love potion in your drink but it hadn't worked for you because you were already in love with him. Your face paled in return and your breaths were becoming more and more shallow by the second. You didn't know what you were feeling, hatred? No, you couldn't possibly hate him.

Betrayal? maybe, why couldn't he have asked you instead.

Confusion? Definitely... you didn't know what was happening, why would Sirius slip a love potion in you juice? could it be possible that--, no.

It couldn't be. Sirius Black wasn't in love with you you were sure of it.

"Miss (y/l/n), are you alright? you look quite pale" Slughorn asked, face full of concern.

"S-sorry, professor, but could i take a trip to the infirmary i feel a bit light headed." You mumbled,staring at the floor. Slughorn nodded and suggest that you take a classmate with you just in case you dint make it to the clinic. Sirius stepped up but you held out you hand to stop him from going any nearer and glared at him "No need, professor, i can do it on my own, thank you" you made your way out of the classroom with a heavy heart, biting your lip to prevent any tears that were threatening to fall.

"(y/n), " Sirius called out, but you pretended not to hear him. He betrayed your trust. Out of all the people, it had to be him, a love potion for crying out loud! What was it he wanted from you?! Did he want you to be another name on his list? Another notch in his bed post? Maybe he likes you? NO! You pushed the thought down while tears streamed down your face as you ran towards the common room, which was thankfully empty when you'd arrive. You hugged yourself around the chest to keep yourself from breaking even more and sat down in front of the fire and let yourself cry.

The portait hole opened and you heard someone enter. Footsteps light as feathers as if the person didn't want to disturb you.

"(y/n)," a voice said, you knew this voice, even when you're asleep you'd know it was him, you were in love with it, relishing the feeling of it wrapping around your name, you stood up but didn't turn to face him, almost begging him with your mind to say your name again. "(y/n), please"

You turned slowly around to face him.

"what, black?" you said, more harshly than you'd intended, he flinched at the sound of disgust of your tone mixing with his last name. You knew he hated his last name, thats why you and your friends rarely use it around him, and now you had said it just to spite him. "a love potion? seriously? how low could you get?" you seethed, he flinched again.

"Please," he pleaded "just let me explain."

"Explain what, Sirius!? That you want me to be one of the girls you'd take to your bed and the leave when you got bored?" you started, the anger rising up from your chest, making you spill more tears, "huh? That after the effects of the potion subsided, you'd blame me for everything, because i was the one all over you, right?"

"no! (y/n), please it isn't like that" sirius was now crying too, pleading to be heard, but you weren't taking any of it. The sight of him crying over you, vulnerable , and shaking was almost too much to handle, almost enough to break you, you almost ran to him and begged for HIS forgiveness, but you stood your ground.

"I'm in love with you, Sirius," his breath hitched at your confession. But you didn't pay him any mind "and i just thought," you paused, taking a deep breath, voice calm and collected, but filled with so much sadness that it broke the boy's heart "i just thought i had a chance with you, y'know? That if i gave it enough time you'd love me, the way i love you. but, i guess i was wrong." you said through more tears "i was so wrong" you cried, covering your face with you hands to prevent him from seeing you "ugly crying".

"No," he pleaded again walking towards you grabbing hold of your wrists and making you look at him, your confession were the only words he wanted to hear these past few months, but not in this scenario "no, no, (y/n), please, i'm sorry, i was stupid, i'm just so fucking in love with you too, i was desperate, i didn't know what to do, i didn't want to fuck everything up, but right now I'm afraid that's all I've done, please forgive me, (y/n), i love you." Then you felt his strong arms wrap around you in a hug his head falling on your shoulders with him whispering "please" and i'm so sorry" through his tears over and over again.

"No," you said, calming down enough to wrap your hands around his wrists to remove his arms around you and gently push him a foot away from you. He looked as broken as he felt, a shell of the boy you loved but hurt you so bad you weren't sure how to move on from this. You glared at him with cold eyes that would've even stopped tom riddle in his tracks. "You're a fucking lie, Sirius Black." you said through gritted teeth with as much venom as you could spit, walking towards the girl's dormitory leaving an already broken person with an even more broken heart behind staring at the dying fire.

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Days and weeks after the love potion incident, left you broken hearted and empty, you were late for classes, teachers would admonish you for your failing marks, you barely ate and slept, and you spent your free time in the dormitory under the duvet, eyes closed but not sleeping thinking of nothing but him. You loved him and you love him still. But the thought of talking to him made you think that you were being too easy of a target to get hit and get your heart broken even more.

Sirius was the same of not worse, he smelled like fire whiskey going to classes which earned him multiple detentions, being as reckless as ever getting in trouble more than he would like, because in his mind, being busy with detention and getting in trouble would be so much better that doing nothing and being alone with his mind where he can do nothing but think of you. He loved you then ans he loves you still, but you were so adamant on avoiding and ignoring him that he thought better than to try and talk to you again.

These things, however, didn't really go unnoticed by your friends. James, Remus, and Peter called Lily and Marlene to talk about the situation and that they needed a solution and fast. The two groups agreed that at any cost they would get you to talk to each other either whether it ends up the two of you being together or being friends again or not at all.

It was free period and you were back up in the dormitories sulking beneath the sheets when you heard someone clear his throat and knock on the door, wait, his? boys should't be up here, the charm on the stairs--. you sat up seeing who the intruder was or rather, intruders since you saw ol' moony, prongs, and wormtail standing by the door. the smiled at you.

"Hey, (y/n), can we come in?" James asked hesitantly.

"How did yo--"

"Get up the stairs?" remus chuckled "we had Lily and Marls to thank for that, besides we aren't up here with less than good intentions for you, love". Peter nodded and raised his hand in a small timid wave. You smiled a bit but still held your guard up.

"I suppose so," you said amused "well if the stairs couldnt stop you how could i, right?" you said as you sat up, patted on the bed, and bought you knees up to your chest so they would have space to sit on. Remus sat beside you and James and Peter sat by the foot of the bed.

"So," you began "how can i be of service to the marauders, hm?"

"(y/n), we came here because we're worried about you and Sirius." James started. at the mention of his name, you made a face. You expected Lily and Marlene to talk to you about this, but the boys? Never. You'd think they would be out supporting sirius instead.

"Guys, i don't thi--," you started already regretting letting them in.

"Just please hear us out, (y/n)," peter pleaded "we're all friends, we're supposed to look out for each other"

You lips curled downward and you chest felt heavy and you throat felt tight. you wanted someone to talk about what had happened but you didn't really show it since you dint want to bother anybody with your ramblings. "Fine, okay i'll listen" you said after a moment of silence.

"Like we said," James continued "we're worried about the both of you, we know how complicated it is when your friends and there are feelings involved, along with hearts that could be broken."

"Trust us," Moony interrupted with a teasing tone, "we've gone through it with james and lily more times than we'd like to admit".

"Yeah, whatever, Moony," said James rolling his eyes and you let out a small giggle. "Look, what we're trying to say is, we know the situation, but with Sirius, it's different. you know his story and it may not look like it but he is the most fragile out of all of us and we are careful not to break him, but this right now seems to have done it."

"So what you're saying is,"you suggested " that its my fault he's broken? Well excuse me, but the love potion was hardly my--"

"(y/n), will you just shut up for a moment and listen?" james said crossly his eyes shut in frustration.

"James," Remus reprimanded. while you sat there appalled with your mouth open but you complied and the continued.

"He hurt me, James, by betraying my trust." you told him like he was a child not understanding.

"i'm sorry," James said his features softening into a smile. "Sirius told us what you said to him" \

'i'm in love with you, sirius'

"And please believe and trust us when we say that he wasn't lying when he said that he loved you too" Peter continued "and he still does"

"Look, we just want you to hear him out," said Remus "thats all you have to do, just hear him out".

"And i guess he told you guys to talk to me, didn't he?"

"No," said peter, shocked that you come to this conclusion "never, please (y/n), he has no idea about any of this. In fact, Lily and Marls are talking sense into him right now"

This made you stop and think. The quiet seemed to unease the boys.

"(y/n)," remus started, sounding exasperated "He cries, when he thinks we're asleep, and even when he does sleep your name is all we ever hear from him. You're the only person he used to talk about, wouldn't shut up about you, really. He thinks you're the one that he would spend the rest of his life with taking him for who he is. But the after the fight, he started to retreat within himself. It was like the time he ran away from home, all over again. Honestly, (y/n) it's like the dementors got to him."

"HE LOOKS LIKE REMUS AFTER A FULL MOON!" Peter blurted out

"Alright alright, i get it!" you said raising your hands in surrender "I'll listen to him, and what he has to say, but he only gets this one chance" you warned

"One chance is all he needs, love" remus said, and with that he took your hand and lead you out of the dorm within the hall towards the stairs. The common room was empty, save for one figure that sparked a familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. Sirius black was facing the fire place, his back turned towards you.

'he's thinner than the last time i saw him,' you thought as you decended the stairs 'hasn't he been taking care of himself?'

Concern overrode the feeling of anger towards the boy. You reached the bottom steps and walk towards him with feather light steps afraid you'd startle him. You stopped a few feet behind him and you cleared your throat. He turned around and when he caught sight of you, He looked at you like you shone brighter than the sun, and his face dropped and he looked and felt like he might start crying again but he took a deep breath and controlled himself.

"(y/n)," he said with as much adoration as he felt for you, tears brimming up in his eyes "thank you, for agreeing to hear me out. i wasn't planning on talking to you because i was afraid hurting you, but Marls and Lily got to me".

"You look like shit, black" you said and it was true, his cheekbones were protruding and his eyes were sunken and it was like all the color has gone from his face and lips. The boys were right, he was dead on his feet. You smiled timidly at him to indicate that you were calm and ready to listen to him and he let out a laugh that sounded like he got winded.

"Please sit, (y/n)" he said waving to the chairs and you sidestepped him to sit on your spot beside the fire place and became extremely shocked when Sirius approached and kneeled in front of you with the most sincere look on his face .

"(y/n)," he said you name like his life depended on it, voice cracking. "I-i'm so sorry, i dont.. know if you'd ever forgive me, i was a fool, i was being stupid, i was so scared that you didn;t feel the same way about me... i don't see you as one of the other girls out there,no. You're nothing like them. They all mean nothing to me. But you, you're everything and more." he said tears finally spilling from his eyes, chest tight and gasping for breath. "I love you so much, (y/n). i didn't know what to do because i didn't want fuck anything up by opening my stupid mouth and saying something i know I'll regret." and now you were crying too because, shit! Sirius Black is on his knees professing his undying love for you. something you've wanted ever since third year not knowing that it was what he wanted too.

"Sirius," you gasped, reaching out and you cupped his face with your hand and he leaned into your touch like it was the most amazing feeling, because for him it was. He covered your hand with his and he sobbed harder. Seeing Sirius break down in front of you was hard to watch. It broke your heart but for you it also solidified the fact that he was head over heals in love with you just like the boys had said. "i-i forgive you.. sirius" you said and it made him cry even harder and shocking you by wrapping his arms around your waist burying his head in your lap, half whispering, half crying his 'i'm sorry's' and 'thank yous'. After a few minuted he seemed to have calmed down enough to lift up his head and look you in the eyes. Honestly, he looked like a fucking mess. Tear streaks, and snot-faced you reached into your pocked at pulled out a hankie and proceeded to clean him up.

"thank you, love" he sniffled. You grabbed his elbows and led him to stand up with you. Then you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him toward you breathing in his scent, memorising and re-memorizeing, each heartbeat felt by both of you, and he seemed to be doing the same with his face now buried in your neck with his arms wrapped around you so tight as if you'd disappear the moment he let go.

"I love you, (y/n)" he said after a few monents, his voice muffled by your hair "i love you, so much". You pulled his arms down, forcing him to let go of you. Then you grabbed him, you hands on either side of his face and stared at him, his gray eyes burning with passion stared right back into yours.

"And I love you, sirius" you declared "more than you know." then he moved closer to you, your eyes closing automatically as his forehead touched yours.

"(y/n)?" he asked for permission. "can i--"

You didn't let him finish, instead you closed the small distance by pressing your lips onto his. The kiss was careful, calculated but it burned with a passion that you only read in story books, igniting the fire that had you thought had died the night you had fought with him, even that now seemed to be a distant memory compare to what was happening right now. He slid his had onto the crook of your nape to deepen the kiss and then hummed with satisfaction. Then the two of you broke apart soaking each other up like each was your own personal sun. He pressed his lips to yours again in quick kisses but full on love, once.. twice. the third, was the kiss that set off the fireworks in your mind, it was the you've been dreaming of all this time, except this was better.

"Be mine, Sirius," you asked him, pleading "please tell me you'll be mine".

"i was always yours, love," he replied "and i will always be yours, until the sun and the moon appear in the sky together."

"Always so dramatic, Sirius?" you laughed

Slow clapping from the stairs startle the both of you causing you to break apart, but still holding onto each other. james, remus and peter, were still perched on the top of the stairs of the girls dormitory, and lily and marlene were on the boys' dorms.

"Well done, mate!" James praised " thought you'd never stop bawling."

"Yeah, we thought we had to look at your depressed face for the rest of our lives," Remus smiled with obvious relief

Then James turned to lily "it'll be your turn next" he said making kissy faces and at, that the charm that was put on the stairs broke and the steps flattened turning it into a slide which took the three boys down.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirus #harry potter #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #lily potter #marlene mckinnon

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