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#gone till its gone
sameschmidtdiffname · 1 month
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I can take them both
I do NOT mean in a fight
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sairee · 9 months
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AleRudy First Kiss
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You should be with me (AKA Alejandro gets Jealous)
(word count: 2086)
Rudy knew since they were kids that Alejandro was it for him. 
Rudy had always felt that there was something different about him. He never understood the fascination that his cousins or Alejandro had with women - it just never seemed to interest him. 
When Rudy and Alejandro first became friends, Rudy was intrigued by the fiery passion Alejandro seemed to have. He played, fought, and cared with his whole heart. He always wanted to be with Alejandro, even before he knew what that meant as a kid. 
When they entered high school, Rudy’s loyalty to Alejandro (even when he might be in the wrong) started to morph itself into something more. He wasn’t stupid. He was well aware what it meant when he flicked his eyes down to Alejandro’s lips when he wasn’t looking. He had become familiar with his heart skipped a beat when Alejandro accidentally touched him. He loved watching Alejandro when he was deeply engrossed in telling a story. 
It hit him one day that these feelings, were love. 
Although Rudy had admitted to himself these feelings long ago, Alejandro never seemed to feel the same. But he had accepted this. 
Alejandro loved to talk about women and he always seemed to have a new girl on his arm each month. Still, Rudy learned to swallow his feelings in order to stay by Alexandro's side because he still wanted nothing more than to stay in his life no matter what. 
Alejandro would ask him for advice or what to message back because somehow the man was always dating someone new. Rudy would try to help like a genuine friend would as well. Rudy also genuinely liked some of the girls that Alejandro briefly dated. He always met them on the first date as Alejandro would organize a casual group setting for their first hang out, inviting Rudy and sometimes other friends as well. 
It made Rudy feel special that Alejandro always asked what he thought about the girl, like his say had any weight in their relationship. Alejandro always took his words to heart, even if they weren’t necessarily positive. 
Alejandro always had someone and Rudy was always single. Alejandro tended to tease him about this.
“When are we going to get you a girl?” Alejandro would ask with a laugh. “Is there anyone you want?”
I want you.
Rudy would chuckle and wave his hand. “No. I’m not interested in anyone.”
“I know a dozen girls would would love to have your number. Just let me know and I’ll be your wingman.”
“Yeah... maybe one day...” Rudy said, hiding his pinched expression.
Still, Alejandro was his best friend and he didn’t want to imagine a life without him in it.
Rudy secretly struggled with his feelings for many years throughout high school and eventually felt comfortable enough to came out to Alejandro. He was so nervous that it would change things between them but he wanted to let Alejandro know about an important part of his life. 
Upon hearing his confession, Alejandro tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes in deep thought. Rudy didn’t know what he should expect but after a few seconds, Alejandro let an easy smile spread across his face. He patted Rudy’s shoulder like he’d done a million times before. 
“That explains a lot!” he joked. “I can start being your wing man for any guys you like. It doesn’t make a difference to me!”
Letting out a relieved breath, Rudy knew that he would always be by Alejandro’s side.  
After they graduated high school it took a lot of work, and many years, but Rudy was eventually, slowly, able to get over him. Alejandro would never be able to reciprocate his feelings, so Rudy learned to move on. 
They stayed by each other’s side as they joined the army, rose through the ranks, and started Los Vaqueros together. It was enough for Rudy... until it wasn’t.
After some time, Rudy met a nice man that he really liked named Carlos. Rudy decided that it was time that he start to date and experience what the rest of the world had to offer. 
So they started dating. Rudy kept is a secret for a while just to feel it out, but once he was sure that he really liked Carlos and they got along well, he was excited to introduce Alejandro to him. 
Rudy organized for the three of them to meet at a bar so they could chat and have a good time. He expected the night to go smoothly as had always happened when he accompanied Alejandro to his dates. Instead Rudy felt blindsided. 
The night started off perfectly fine as Rudy introduced the two of them and they sat down in a booth with their drinks. They were having simple small talk as they eased their way into the conversation. Alejandro looked slightly guarded, but this made sense as the two of them were just starting to feel each other out. 
Carlos was a touchy person and Rudy didn’t mind either, so every now and again Carlos would grab Rudy’s hand, put his arm around him, squeeze his leg, etc. Alejandro got a strange look on his face each time it happened, but Rudy chalked it up to the fact that Alejandro had never seen Rudy act this way with anyone else before and was simply trying to get used to it. 
Rudy can pinpoint the exact moment when the atmosphere of the entire table shifted. Rudy was explaining how they met at a mutual friends football game and Carlos leaned over to press a kiss onto his cheek. Rudy smiled and looked at Carlos before turning back to Alejandro to finish the story. 
But everything had changed.
Alejandro got a soured look on his face and his brows furrowed. He started to become uncharacteristically cold towards Carlos. It shocked Rudy as he was not expecting this kind of reaction from his friend. 
Alejandro would often refuse to look at Carlos, give snappy and short answers to his questions, interrupt him, or be more interested in something else going on at the bar. 
Rudy felt a pit of dread in his stomach as the situation started to get out of his control. He knew that Carlos could also feel the tension by the way his eyes seemed to dart around awkwardly and his body tensed. 
Rudy tried to bring everyone back on the same page but it was useless. 
At some point, Alejandro gruffly excused himself to use the washroom leaving Carlos and Rudy at the table alone. 
Carlos stood up and grabbed his coat. 
“Wait! Where are you going?” Rudy asked, also stepping out of the booth. 
Carlos kept his eyes down on the coat in his hands. “I think it’s best for me to leave...” he said quietly. “I don’t think I’m very welcome here.”
“That’s not true!” Rudy exclaimed, reaching out for Carlos’ hand. “I want you here.”
Carlos pursed his lips for a few seconds before slowly pulling his hand back. “I’ll see you later... yeah?”
He started to walk away before Rudy could respond, the chimes above the bar door ringing loudly as the door slammed behind him. 
Rudy felt lost. And sick. 
Then he started to feel angry.
He whipped his head back towards the curved corridor that Alejandro walked down to go to the washroom. He felt his vision turn red and jaw clenched in fury. He stormed over to the washroom and turned the corner with haste. 
Alejandro was leaning up against the hallway wall, just a few feet before entering the door to the washroom. His eyes were locked onto the wall opposite, a deep scowl on his face. 
A flicker of uncertainty flashed across Alejandro’s eyes as he looked up at Rudy storming towards him. Rudy felt his anger rise up inside him and he shoved Alejandro before he knew what he was doing.
“What is wrong with you Ale?!” Rudy shouted. “How could you be so cruel?”
Alejandro flinched away from the shove and looked away. He crossed his arms and rested back up against the wall. 
 “I didn’t like him...” Alejandro murmured, refusing to meet Rudy’s eye. 
Rudy walked around so he was directly facing Alejandro. “What does that mean?!” he said, beginning to feel frustrated and even more lost. “Do you know how many girls I also didn’t like? But I still help back my tongue in front of them and was nice.” Rudy clenched his fists up trying to control his frustration. “I have sat through dozens, dozens of women for you and you couldn’t do it just once for me?”
Alejandro’s jaw clenched and he swallowed a lump in his throat. Still he refused to meet Rudy’s eye. He had never acted this way before to Rudy. 
“What... now you have nothing to say?” Rudy scoffed. 
Something unrecognizable flashed behind Alejandro’s eyes. “I don’t think you two should be together...” he muttered. “I don’t think you should be with him.”
Rudy let out an incredulous huff of a laugh. “I finally met someone I really like and you say this?” Rudy shook his head in disbelief. “He is kind and sweet and cares to see me happy. If that is not someone I should be with, then who should I be with?”
Before Rudy had time to react, Alejandro rushed close to him, completely crowding his body. A small gasp escaped out of Rudy’s lips as he was pushed up against the other wall, Alejandro holding the side of his face so he wouldn’t hit his head. 
Alejandro surged forward and pressed their lips together in a heated kiss.
For a second, Rudy felt like he wasn’t a part of his body any more. He was frozen in shock, caught unexpectedly. All thoughts and emotions had left his mind, leaving him with a blank slate. 
Then he felt Alejandro’s warm lips moving against his own. 
Rudy was suddenly sucked back into his body as he reached out toward the other man. He gripped the front of Alejandro’s shirt with one hand and cupped his face with the other. Rudy kissed him back enthusiastically, memorizing the feel of Alejandro’s lips against his. 
It was everything he had been dreaming of his whole life. It was like sweet honey on a summer’s day. It was a taking a dive into a refreshing swimming pool. It was coming home after an exhausting day.
Alejandro slithered an arm around Rudy’s waist, pulling their bodies closer together. Like this, Rudy could feel Alejandro’s hard body pressed up against him and the way his muscles tensed and relaxed as their lips continued to move together. 
He was kissing Alejandro like he was the oxygen to his lungs and he couldn’t get enough. 
All of a sudden, Alejandro pulled back just an inch and looked down at Rudy. Rudy was left panting as he had forgotten to breath due to the surprise. 
Alejandro gently touched their foreheads together and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. 
“Me... “ Alejandro whispered softly. “You should be with me...”
Upon hearing these words, it was almost as if Rudy’s brain couldn’t comprehend them. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Any words seemed to disappear as soon as they touched his tongue. 
“Ale...” Rudy somehow managed to get out. 
As if breaking out of a trance, Alejandro suddenly blinked a few times and his eyes focused once again. He pulled his head back and looked down a Rudy, eyes wide, terrified of what he’d just done. 
Alejandro unwound his arm around Rudy’s waist and took a step back, a panicked expression on his face. He quickly turned and started to walk away. 
“Wait!” Rudy called out for him, but it was too late. Alejandro disappeared around the corner as Rudy was still stuck frozen against the wall.
He felt like he was dreaming. He felt like what had just happened wasn’t real. He closed his eyes and focused on the way Alejandro’s mouth placed phantom kisses on his lips. He could still feel the warmth.
Rudy’s heart was beating out of his chest as he brought his fingers up to touch his lips. 
Rudy opened his eyes again and stared at the empty hallway, feeling more lost than he had ever felt in his life. 
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canesshuga · 1 year
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SONGS THAT CARRIED ME THROUGH 2021 (40/60)
Janet Jackson - Got ‘Till It’s Gone (feat. Q-Tip, Joni Mitchell)
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notetaeker · 10 months
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May 21, 2023 - Sunday
We're really in the thick of it now~ grading season is in full swing, the internship project is in it's middle stages, planned events for the masjid that need to be worked on, and other urgent projects are looming in the future. I'm just spending my days checking things off my list the way kpop idols try to remove post its from their bodies in that one game lol: some are more difficult than others.
Retail therapy: got a tiny new shelf for my plants and my first watercolor set✨
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kasaneteto · 2 days
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i cant stop thinking about burning man’s soul
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shrimp-propaganda · 5 months
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they don't know they almost died yesterday. just doing their shrimp things like normal.
also shoutout to Neptune's for having a replacement pump that fit my tank yesterday when it was going to take four days to ship one
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liomels · 5 months
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I just realized you barely posted anything for the gala yesterday that was a little weird to me
Ah, yes you’re right, I did post like 3 photos which is significantly lesser than my standard 50 posts but believe it or not i was very emotional. It really hit me when they gave him the award and he got standing ovation. All those kids who were sitting front row were used to watch him with their own little messi shirts on and now it is finally their turn. He said in multiple interviews that his time was coming and he did left Europe months ago but I guess I always thought he would be there. There to be a candidate to win the ballon dor again and there to be a candidate to win the league or the cl again but he won’t be there again other than being an example or inhuman standard. I don’t know why did I hold on to this gala this much but it really make me realize he left the stage.
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lookitseddie · 2 months
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so, did everyone else also have a visceral reaction to the first few lyrics of mammalian sighing reflex? because i'm pretty sure they changed my life
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luyo-mi · 6 months
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Im a frikecn genius, thats so hot of me
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I will never stop screaming about the untapped potential of Shouto and Fuyumi's relationship
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craycraybluejay · 1 month
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i. i want to write something for myself. i love my job but god i reqlly should've just taken a break and written something that was nagging me.
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bloodratx666 · 4 months
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should i get black arctic fox or nah
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hojlundaise · 11 months
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doodlerh · 1 year
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i did master primal zodiark with farren here is the hilariously low quality thumbnail!!!
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idledreams3 · 1 month
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mfw I realize my mother's addiction is literally causing her to starve me
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theasexual-jackson · 1 month
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