#god willing my blog is deleted or at least inactive by when this is posted | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shadowkage · 6 years

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Youre honestly kinda unapproachable?? Haha idk if its cause youre a sasuke but i just feel intimidated af to talk to you. Weve even interacted before but im just a scared little boo too worried about bothering you ^~^;;

what vibe do I give off? // anon

You didn’t ask for this, and I apologize, but I don’t understand. Me writing a Sasuke is clearly not the reason. Other Sasukes don’t have this problem. They get the interactions they want, at least those who I see on my dash more or less frequently. I take it I am the problem. I always have been, but I honest to god don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

My opens don’t get answered, so I more or less decided to stop making them.

I reblog memes to allow mutuals I don’t interact with to approach me, but it’s almost always friends that send them in. Don’t misunderstand, it’s great they send them, I appreciate it and have a lot of fun with them. Nevertheless, it’s an opportunity I give that is passed by pretty consistently.

I very recently reblogged a relationship meme. The one where people I haven’t interacted with yet can start us off. I got no asks.

I made a starter call not too long ago. It was mutuals only. The first three or so people who liked it were non-mutuals. Some were from friends. Other likes made me especially happy because, wow, people actually want to write with me, not just because they feel obligated to but because they want to! Turns out, most of these people ignored my starter or dropped the thread after one or two replies. All of these threads were plotted.

I posted some wishlist ideas, too. Friends replied, non-mutuals replied, silence.

Listen, I am very thankful for the interactions I have and I love my friends dearly. But, at this point, the only conclusion I can come to is that either my writing is shit, my portrayal turned shit over the last few months, or I am just a shit person in general, and people only keep following to not lose a follower. I reblogged a meme asking for feedback twice but got no asks. I will reblog it a third time later today.

I’m an insecure person. I get replaced in both rl and rp all the time. People don’t value me, typically. I’m too weird or too quiet or both.

I get it, okay? I’m intimidated, too, but for different reasons. It’s more than obvious that most of my followers didn’t read my rules. And that scares the crap out of me. I never know when people will trigger me on a bad day, simply because they don’t know what my trigger is. I don’t approach people via IM like I used to because it results in bad experiences more often than good ones.

I don’t want to whine and I don’t want to sound ungrateful. It’s just that I’m at the end of the line. I wanted to delete this blog on several occasions, or remake, or do something to draw attention to the fact that this isn’t really working the way it used to. People used to contact me a lot for plotting but that died down around the time people decided to not follow me back more and more frequently.

I have 1000+ followers and am mutuals with ~100 of them. At least 20 of these 100 are inactive. A total of maybe 10 people is willing to write with me.

If I am intimidating, please tell me how you get that impression. I’m serious. Please tell me so that I know what to do.

#Anonymous #your feelings are of course valid #but so are mine #thank you for sending

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