GIRLS…………. ITS A CRISIS

The T.C. rambles while watching a force awakes

Re-watching star wars 7 to see if out of the 3D headache IMAX theatre, if it’s any better.

I still hate parody Han Solo guy, like he reminds me of post-Black Knight Sonic the Hedgehog. Just really unfunny and trying way too hard to be hip and internet savvy or something.

I don’t think anything will change my opinion that he shoulda been a bit character.

I’ve decided to commentate the whole fucking movie so read on if you dare.

Rey’s making space bread. It’s very gross.

I doubt anything will change my opinion that she’s the best star wars character.

Oh God BB-8

HBomberguy ruined BB-8 for me. Whenever I see him all I hear is

L I T T L E   W H I T E   C U C K - B A L L L L L L

I guess Rey doesn’t like him either, I forgot this part.

I wish they got rid of the Dorito Destroyer.

Oh boy Darth Helmet is interrogating Lone Star.

Kylo Ren has the stupidest helmet.

There’s subtitles on this so I learned the guy’s name is Poe

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

Like Kylo Ren is really badass in the first half I remember this, like he stops a God damn laser blast.

Would you sell BB-8 for 60 meals?

Oh hey

Ugh what’s his name... the storm trooper’s gonna take Poe outta here.

You need a pilot. LOL

I guess Poe is alright, just his first impression was very dumb.

Oh snap it’s hooked down. What kinda name is Hux that’s stupid.

Ha hah shootin’ em down just like Annie in ep 1.

Get fucked command center.

Why do they still have Twin Ion Engine fighters?

I guess we still drive cars so eh...

Ah his name is Finn now, I guess he is a clone? or something?

Maybe they have multiple types of clones. I wonder if they still use Jango Fett...

Fucking proton torpedos!!!

Ah yeah I forgot Finn just wants to GTFO

Trailer shot. Nice.

Oh wait I can turn off subtitles. Good that was disorienting me.

And Poe dies... a great fake-out you thought parody han solo was a protag, but no this is the story of Finn, the storm trooper defecting from nazi hell-space to find his own life on Jakku or wherever.

He keeps Poe’s jacket for cover, very poetic. HAH

POE-ETIC God why did I hate this movie again?

If there’s a Kylo Ren, where is Kylo Stimpy?

Oh God Finn no don’t ugh drank the slop water ugh no why ugh

Finn goes to save Rey cuz white knight trope. Rey can handle herself like a ‘90s chick. Hey she’s a pit chick she’s got a staff.

RUN FINN RUN

Rey fuck taser what

Finn’s having a lousy life.

Poor basketball’s friend died. I feel like the story is rushing.

Like I expected more of a build-up not “SPIT OUT THE EXPOSITION FUCKIN”

Ah, storm troopers...

Rey doesn’t want your cooties, Finn.

Fucking TIE fighters fuck

Is Finn dead? No he just nappin’

Everything exploding!

THE GARBAGE’LL DO

God damn Millenium cheeseburger.

I can do this I can do this

HOW DO YOU FLY A CHEESEBURGER

Fucking karma’s a cheeseburger, that’s what you get for callin’ the SS you loser

The action scenes are choice

Ah Dorito ruins.

Oh I remember this part just

TIE DOWN

oh no Finn down

here it comes

G E T  R E A D Y

fucking engine exhaust TIOGHT

HARD RIGHT

WOOOOOO

Takin’ the shot yeah

Space

CHUCK A  SHIT

ohp

Kylo is Mado

NERD RAGE

AAAAAAAAAA

Kylo is such a 12 year old in 2003.

GIRL?! THERE WAS A WOM?!?!?!?!? XDDD fucking loser

pweese BB-8 help I dunno what I do

fucking lighter thumbs up

Damn Finn what a nerd. “Got a boyfriends? a boyfriend?”

oh no they got garbage dayed

come on Rey gas them gas them all

oh great it’s Han Solo and Chewie

oh wait he used to be Han Solo

What is he now Han Oriana? Whatever Leia’s last name was I never could spell it.

Damn buncha everything happens

Oh great it’s big eyed billy joe armstrong and his O-nauts

WE WUNT OR MUNEY BAEK NAU

oh boy more losers.

It’s all over for Solo.

Ah shit just unleashed things.

There goes the neighborhood just fucking angry meatballs of death AND HE FEEDS THAT DUDE TO IT

oh shit it quiet

Rey is allalone...

Fucking Finn I turn my head a sexond and the meatball caught him.

Get to da cheeseborger

“I never ask that question until after I’ve done it”

Just lightspeed dashed I swear he looks like british billie joe armstrong.

Damn giant fish thing on planet deadly pokeball.

Who is supreme leader he is stupid ugly stupid.

Oh his dad’s Han Solo wow way to blow it spoiler alert fucking why didn’t they save that for the end who wrote this crap oh he was a hologram.

Damn babuy chewie

Ah the new hope plot.

I dunno they twist it enough to make it feel fresh so eh.

Ah a planet of islands... the scenery reminds me of ep 2

“Did you just call me ‘Solo’?”

Women always figure out the truth, always.

There needs to be a han solo inspirational poster that says that.

A job? The fabled... job? You offer job?

Rey has a home? I thought she was just a wayfarer.

Don’t stare “At what?” any of it XDDDDD

Yeah this story feels like it’s going too fast like what’s going on.

HAAAN S O L O

Wait she’s hot for Chewbakka?

Man this band sucks.

Oh great fucking droid nark NARK

Weird lady narks NARKS EVERYTHWIER

Oh boy Darth Helmet is brooding.

Fucking Darth Vader. Kylo Ren is such a fanfiction.

Like, the idea of a warrior of light choosing darkness is something you seldom see done, but... eh... I guess? IRL kids no like most nazis are privilidged and a decade ago would be seen as nerds.

what’s this

what are you doing

The eyes of a man who wants to run

Finn need go bye-bye

Oh wait storm troopers are stolen, not bred. That’s worse like

Finn is really shiny there who does his makeup?

Rey sure didn’t care he was a storm trooper LOL

The screams... they becon me...

Finally a fresh feeling scene.

WHAT’S IN DA BOX

fucking lightsaber

T R I G G E R E D

Is she clairvoyant? I dond’t remember this part.

Is this special edition?

FUTURE

I like specs. She cool.

FUCK D A FORCE

Oh boy nazis

Fucking screamy bitch XDDD

FIST UP why are the nazis doing the fist up this is upsetting.

PEW

How does the laser split up into shit and what is this planet?

Like this is supposed to be dramatic but... you literally don’t know any of those people or any of those planets. This should have been episode 8 or 9 after establishing those planets.

 W H A T    A    W A S T E

oH BOY  Finn got da lightsabah

BEASTS

There goes that dump, way to go Rey it’s your fault I guess BLANKS

Way to kill that soldier

MURDER SPREE

Oh boy Kylo Ren, what a hoot that guy.

wait is this the part?

Han Solo so has the force like if his force3 ghost isn’t in the movie

YOU HAAAVE ONE

Han Solo what a goof

TRAITOR

M E L E E   B A T T L E

Fucking just like in Empire except it’s not Yoda hallucination probably.

Caughted

THE RESISTIES

The x-wing is still the coolest thing like Sonic knew that.

Damn Finn calm down it’s just a pilot.

Rey is in weird jungle o no

She just got godlike and Ren is gonna break that killstreak

MELEE OP

Fucking using cheater force

Kylo you sound like such a dork

That cross saber is still stupid where’s the minorah saber

Nooo Rey!!!

C’mon Finn melee them

fucking lightsaber the whole first order you can do it

just

throw it at the ship

just

throw

and the bad guys win

C-3P0 you mother fucker

Changed your hair

Same Jacket

I can’t believe Carrie Fisher is dead.

The resisties are kinda boring looking.

Oh look it’s Poe, he’s alive somehow.

Maybe the second time I’ll get the good explanation.

Oh no, there’s no good explanation he just wasn’t there.

L A A A A A A A A A A M M M E.

Okay we’re past a new hope kinda in empire strikes back territory and the ending is the last jedi. Like I totally get people being upset that this is basically the original trilogy in a nutshell.

Damn dead R2-D2

Wait C-3P0 has a red arm why

I wonder how many parents relate to Han and Leia because their son turned into a nazi.

Fucking Snoke. What kinda name is that. Solid Snoke.

Was Kylo Ren just staring at Rey’s unconscious body for the past hour?

I’m sorry he’s just not intimidating he looks like a cheap halloween darth vader

Then the dramatic reveal like remember when Darth Vader was so disfigured from burning alive?

Kylo’s just ugly. Like that’s it that’s the reveal. Kylo is ugly.

Rey/Kylo is like whenever a 4chan boy tries to hit on a hot youtube girl like your face just melds into the chair to escape his grasp like a cat that doesn’t want to be pet.

I dunno this scene is just so stupid cuz they both look dorky like this is happening at otakon

You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader

BITCH GOT TOOOLLLLLLD

Kylo has a huge nose. Like he’s Lois Griffin triangle sandwitch nose

I like how Rey tries to Luke Skywalker the storm trooper and he’s like “Serious?”

LOL fucking just left

T A N T R U M   T I M E

and the storm troopers just turn around LOL

Okay I love this weapon like, it’s a combination of the star crusher and a vaccum cleaner from Luigi’s mansion. It destroys the star, but in the way that it uses it to destroy things.

“So it’s big”

Disable the shields... there better be Ewoks on that planet.

Seriously, what does Poe add to the story after the escape?

Damn leila and han... dum

Hey a woman stormtrooper, like just a white gal. I didn’t notice that.

Damn lightspeed their way in.

Hooooh what a landing.

...Han Solo...

That‘s not how the force works!!!

LOL

Finn just wants Rey. I can see why people would think he’s horny for her since that boyfriend line, but that was the last horny thing he said.

Fucking mad with Power, calm down Finn then again we all wanna tell off our boss.

Rey is gonna escappeeeee damn hang on the side of the wall is that a switch what

Rey just climbing that wall like a monkey.

S H I E L D S   D O W N

Fucking Han... is there a trash compactor? You dirty bastard

And here comes the interesting part of Jedi Returns SHOOTY TIME

A T T A C K   T H E   S C P H I N C T E R (that’s how you spell it right)

Oh I love the sun thing like, it’s a great way of showing the timer without a clock.

Oh look it’s Rey, go on and almost get shot to death

H U G

Escape now, hug later.

The cinematography is good I like the dog fights.

LET”S BLOW SHIT UP

I dunno this just really isn’t dramatic at all

Placing bombs, just like in Jedi.

Here comes Kylo

At least he keeps the mask on, like too many movies rely on faces.

oh light’s almost gone.

M A H   B O Y

Ah the stupid part

Wait is his name Finn too?

Like this woulda been way more dramatic if you didn’t know Kylo was Han’s boy.

There’s no music making this awkward and gut-wrenching which you don’t see modern mvoies do.

I’m being torn apart ;w;

What a bitch

Knowing what happens these lines are hilarious

Will you help me

L I G H T S   O U T

red

STAB, STAB, STAB~

AHHHHHH HOOO HOO HOO HOOOIIEEEEE

I dunno like, you’d think Han Solo being stabbed to death with his son would feel more heavy but that was just... nothing.

A S P L O D E

Fucking Kylo TEEF

Night time, being chased by a crazy dork in the woods.

oh here it comes

TRAILER FUEL

YEUR A MUNSTAH

REY DOWN

C’mon Finn

TRAAAIIITOOORRRR

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT

Fucking melee battle

Just fueled by the rage of his fallen friend, the desparation of the sun dissolving he fights for his life against a wounded lunatic.

Okay so maybe that cross saber has a use.

FINN DOWN

grabby time

oh no

REY GRABBED THE SABER

ROUND TWO, DARTH LOSER

This is unbearably xcool

Time to shoot the hole... like in new hope.

This ending is just all three original endinds with new stuff

30 seconds

SNEAKED IN SHOOT EM UP WOOOOOOOO

JUST LIKE ANNIE IN EP 1

only cooler

KA BLOOOOIIEEEE

fuckin’ A

this battle is just like in empire strikes back

fucking planet’s falling apart so it’s better

A tempting offer

Who wants kylo ren to be a teacher like he’d be like a nun

W 0 0 T

it’s the comeback

don’t give the hero a dramatic pause to focus

B E A T   D O W N

the struggle is real

K-O

Take that loser

there seems to be something between us, Ren

Welp the planet is collapsing woo

Finn don’t you die, Poe is a loser you’re cool Finn

Ah it’s Chewie in the Churger

oh yeah han died like I thought it was han but no he died XDDDDD

GTFO

Here comes the sun doot de doo doot~

Epic

Now for the final scene of congrats.

“Sorry General, your boyfriend was stabbed by his son and then the planet exploded”

H U G

Poor Chewie.

Fucking Artoo what are you doing here.

Like, this shoulda been episode 8 here, it feels like it shoulda ended with han’s funeral and the map was the start of the next movie aunno.

And Finn’s tale of a freedom slave blowing up the nazi death planet comes to a close.

Wait is she leaving?

I thought there was a funeral.

Nothing?

Not even an F?

Yeah then se see’s Luke’s hairy ass and it ends so awkwardly like this movie felt like two movies and THIS SHOULDA BEEN IN THE SEQUEL WHAT

Whoever wrote this is an idiot, whoever directed is even worse.

ANyways my conclusion is that the movie isn’t horrible, but... I dunno it’s about as bad as ep2 tho that movie’s crime was being boring, this one was too much story crammed into a short period and ruined opportunities.

I might watch ep 8 but I just am not invested like

HAN SOLO DYING MEANT NOTHING

Like fucking handing him a lightsaber what kinda ending is that

R O G U E   O N E   W A S   B E T T E R.

The end.

Apr 11 Blurr’s Horror Stream - Book Of Life

A night early because, randomly, Blurr decided to throw a party for Optimus’s corpse! The movie was oddly thematically appropriate. Starscream hired Blurr for random odd jobs that he doesn’t want tied back to him. For some reason he decided to do this with witnesses. Prowl yelled at him over comms a lot.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. Whirl: *tilts his head and looks, now, to Rumble* How've you been? Sadie: [[ "she is, isn't she?" la muerte pls ]] B l u r r: Most likely. / wiggles claws/ I like Xibalba. B l u r r: [[ im happy snifit finally gets to see this ;A; ]] Whirl: (ME2)) ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I LIKE HIM TOO. HE PLAYS DIRTY.\\ Whirl: He seems kind of like a chump. Starscream: Does he? Whirl: Yeah. *eyes Starscream sidelong* Scraping around someone in a position he wants. Begging and simpering to get his way. Whirl: Y'know. Chump stuff. B l u r r: Sounds like it ItsyBitsySpyers: //Eh... I been better.// He waves a hand half-aftedly. //Ain't important.// Starscream: *snorts* If he's in charge it doesn't matter how he got there. Whirl: *nods at Rumble; Whirl will leave it at that* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He might talk if Whirl asks in person some time, but not with Blurr and Starscream there.* Whirl: *if Whirl's made aware of that, he might take him up on that offer* B l u r r: / drapes over coffin. He likes his cartoon / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage snorts. Gods are so ridiculous.* Whirl: *gods that aren't Heqet, ofc* FakeProwl: *appears* FakeProwl: How much did I miss? Starscream: Gods playing with mortal lives in exchange for living arrangements. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah. They picked representin' kids 'n whoever the girl human picks for conjunx wins.// B l u r r: Sounds boring. Whirl: That's... not a bad summary. *takes another swig of his canister* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tired ping hello.* FakeProwl: Who wins if the girl human doesn't want to conjugate with any of the represented kids? Starscream: Which is pretty short sighted. What if the girl doesn't pick either. Starscream: *see Prowl gets it* Starscream: They didn't cover that. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The girl human.]] B l u r r: / rolls optic/ It's more about which boy is better suited for her. Starscream: ..well. If this one dies I suppose she'll get the other one. FakeProwl: Are there rules against murdering rival gods' representative children? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No. But one cheated.]] B l u r r: Technically that's cheating, and they can't cheat. FakeProwl: How? Whirl: He gave one of the kids something that made him invincible. Starscream: Hey, he's the one that benefits if he wins. Cheating is the obvious answer. Whirl: To be honest, if a god offered that to me, I'd take it. I wouldn't waste my time courting someone though, I'd go do awesome stuff. Whirl: ((omg tHIS COVER!!!)) Whirl: But... I mean, actually, if you spend all your time doing awesome death-defying stuff with your newfound powers, you're bound to attract some other badass's attention. FakeProwl: So, one of them is a warrior; the other one is a musician who's being pressured into... killing animals? Whirl: So, two birds, one stone. Starscream: Yes. B l u r r: Bull fighting. FakeProwl: The musician is going to win. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Why?]] FakeProwl: Because a person doing what he wants to do and what he was made to do is lest interesting than a character whose assigned duty contrasts with his desired duty. Starscream: ((are the swords inside his back because he's a wooden doll)) Starscream: ((Manolo turn around- darn Whirl: *tilts his head and glances briefly to Prowl* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I WANNA GET AN IMMORTALITY MAGNET. AIN'T FAIR.\\ FakeProwl: More interesting characters are heroes. Heroes win the thing they desire at the end of the story. Starscream: ((i thought they were like IN him B l u r r: I'm sure there's something like that out there somewhere. B l u r r: [[ is it dropping a lot? ]] FakeProwl: ((it's good here)) Starscream: So he should become a musician instead of getting married, since I'm not sure if he even cares. Whirl: On the one hand... it'd be awesome. On the other, it kinda takes half the fun out of it, y'know? FakeProwl: And humans really like characters that fight duty to pursue their desires. Starscream: ((*continues to threeway ship)) FakeProwl: ((far better threeway)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((creator supports it)) Whirl: ((yep that's best)) B l u r r: [[ stream is about to drop ]] B l u r r: [[ or it's dropping a lot. ]] Whirl: (seems to be going fine for me)) FakeProwl: ((fine here still)) B l u r r: Now THAT looks like fun. Whirl: *perks up a bit at the sight of the bull* Whirl: It's adorable. B l u r r: / leans over coffin/ Isn't that right? K-Kyeheheeh. Like pissing off a Tyran Prime and seeing him come at you! Whirl: Well. *sly look to Blurr* I doubt he feels THAT way about the bull. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[That seems ill-advised.]] B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. Maybe not. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Has decided to root for this human, predictable fate or not.* Whirl: Pfft. Whirl: That bull's gonna kill him. You watch. FakeProwl: ... Doesn't disabling the bull require more skill than killing it, anyway? Whirl: Hm, guess not. Whirl: And you'd think so, right? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We did not have bulls, but the beasts we did have to fight... yes.]] Whirl: Even more impressive? Taming it. Whirl: ((HAHA IM DYING)) Whirl: ((I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS  AJUKEBOX MUSICAL)) Starscream: ((8DDD FakeProwl: ((this one bothers me. it's just... slightly wrong.)) FakeProwl: ((maybe if they'd modified the lyrics a little bit)) Whirl: ((the line "i'm a creep, i'ma  weirdo" is a bit off, ye)) Whirl: You know. FakeProwl: ((and "your skin makes me cry" is... sort of creepy in general, and that's not his character)) Whirl: I think that might be fun. Something like bullfighting--only, obviously, without the bulls. Whirl: ((YEAH....)) B l u r r: It's fun with Empties. Whirl: Empties aren't a real CHALLENGE, though. Something like... big. And capable of devouring you, maybe. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\NEXT TIME WE FIND A RAZOR SNAKE WE'LL BRIDGE YA INTO A HOLE WITH IT.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: //Dibs on his suite.// B l u r r: ... Grimlock. B l u r r: I punched a Grimlock in the face once. Whirl: *perks up* Do it! Absolutely. Whirl: You can even invite a crowd to admire my martial prowess as I kick its a ss. *preens unabashedly* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\GRIMLOCKS ARE FUN. THEY GET SO MAAAAAD.\\ B l u r r: Yes, they do. B l u r r: But, the one in the junkyard is a bit... BIGGER than I expected. Starscream: ...oh, yes. I'm surrounded by Wrekcers and Wrecker wannabes. B l u r r: /snort/ What? Whirl: There are no Wreckers in this room. B l u r r: / settles back over the coffin/ ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah. He's only a Wrecker where we're from.// Whirl: Also, in the event it devours me, I can't promise you my suite, Rumble. But you and your bro gotta take care of Killer. Starscream: ((hang on this is a mun error. Whirl: Okay. All right. Here's my problem with this--they lived their whole lives without her. How'm I supposed to swallow any romance here? I'm not feelin it. B l u r r: / hums and props cheek in his claw/ ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Nostalgia.]] FakeProwl: I wouldn't call somebody who sings "I love you too much to live to live without you loving me back" a catch either. Whirl: ((ur fine dude o7 i sort of thought Starscream was making a dig at whirl's ex-wrecker status)) Starscream: ((oh he was! I meant Blurr and Whirl but now im looking at TFWiki seriously doubting if i have the right universe)) FakeProwl: ((blurr and whirl both were yeah)) B l u r r: [[ Blurr is not a Wrecker >>;;;; yet ]] FakeProwl: ((not THIS blurr. but idw blurr yes)) Whirl: *shakes his head* I can't imagine anyone would be THAT nostalgic. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy looks at Blurr and the coffin and leans over to 'whisper'.* \\I SEEN THIS MOVIE. YA GOTTA KISS HIM. THEN HE COUGHS UP APPLES.\\ B l u r r: ... Excuse me? /looks at Frenzy / Whirl: ((it seems like a mistake that'd be IC for someone who isn't familiar with blurr's world to make, tho!)) B l u r r: [[ this is true!! ]] Whirl: ((FRENZY, GOD)) B l u r r: [[ star doesn't know blurr well! ]] Starscream: ((okay good so NOT an error. I meant it how he said it FakeProwl: ((although idk if idw blurr was officially a wrecker or if he was just rolling with the wreckers for a while)) Starscream: ((No no, he's being insulting and not trying to be accurate, so he doesn't care if this Blurr isn't actually a Wrecker.) ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I'M JUS' SAYIN'.\\ Starscream: ((That whole I know one guy like you who did this so I'll apply it to you anyway)) Whirl: ((aight o7 whirl;'s comment would not have changed)) Starscream: ((I mean the moment has passed but okay at least I know I did have my info correct)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He changed his mind. He wishes to root for the Maria human.]] Starscream: ..agreed. FakeProwl: Notice they started fighting without asking her which of them she's interested in. Whirl: *nods* Whirl: And she disarmed the guy very handily. FakeProwl: I'm rooting for her too. I'm rooting for her to remain single. Starscream: They can marry each other. Whirl: She should go find someone she can cour the RIGHT way. By fighting. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[........Why does he keep speaking his designation.]] Starscream: *looks at Whirl* I wonder. FakeProwl: So they remember it. B l u r r: You're just saying that I should kiss him awake? That's ridiculous... that isn't true. Starscream: Why WOULD someone be tempted to use their names as a warcry. FakeProwl: He wants a reputation. B l u r r: Honestly, have them fight. Whirl: I man, if your reputation precedes you, as his clearly DOES... why not? Whirl: Though USUALLY I prefer a blood-curdling unintelligible scream, myself. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Complete silence.]] Whirl: This guy's more in love with himself than he could ever be with anyone else. B l u r r: Seriously. Whirl: *OKAY GHE'S NOT GONNA sya it out loud be he always liked this song* Whirl: *not a bad idea, an acoustic cover* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble mumbles something under his breath and picks at his knee guards* Whirl: *tilts his head at, silently* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HOW DO YA KNOW IT AIN'T TRUE? YA TRIED?\\ Starscream: ((ruuuude B l u r r: .. No. Starscream: Are you about to kiss a dead body. B l u r r: Tch, no. B l u r r: /pats coffin/ Starscream: ...are you going to kiss it after we leave. FakeProwl: *ah. so it's a zombie movie.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Would he not have seen her after his natural death.]] B l u r r: No, I'm going to put him back. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Humans die quickly. He would not have long to wait.]] FakeProwl: People who say things like "I love you too much to live without you loving me back" tend to be impatient about their reunions. Starscream: He'd seen her for roughly a day and a half. Starscream: Their lives are short, he didn't hve to make it shorter. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Shakes his helm a little.* FakeProwl: Impatient, not sensible. Whirl: *shakes his head* They never sold me on the romance. Whirl: But I'm digging the art direction. B l u r r: Kyeheheh.../rests chin in claw / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[See. The creator is sensible.]] FakeProwl: ... I take it this one isn't La Muerte. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He is not.]] FakeProwl: *nobody told him the gods' names* FakeProwl: Who is he? B l u r r: He's Xibalba. FakeProwl: *what kind of a name is xibalba* FakeProwl: *she-bulb-a* Starscream: *cackles* B l u r r: / Zi- prowl. Zi-bul-ba / Whirl: Pfft. Prowl's not nearly theatric enough. FakeProwl: *"zi" isn't a word. it's clearly "she."* Whirl: ((wait dorp that wasn't aloud, nvm)) B l u r r: [[ there i am ]] Starscream: ...you know, it's rather dickish to only want to protect your hometown if someone marries you. B l u r r: [[ all about the churros ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Agreed.]] Whirl: *nods* FakeProwl: ... At least the other suitor is decent enough to try to say—multiple times—that this isn't the time to discuss the issue. Starscream: But not decent enough to revoke the terms of his proposal. FakeProwl: He gets a participation ribbon at best. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\IF HE CAN FIND ROOM ON HIS CHEST!\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy snickers* FakeProwl: Pf. ItsyBitsySpyers: *.......Takes a note on what to add to his mindscape* ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Erases the note* FakeProwl: Interesting trap. Totally unnecessary, but interesting. Whirl: All of these people are too damn twitterpated to think straight. THIS is why this sort of thing is so dumb. Whirl: ...*wait, he should try to be at least somewhat sensitive here. DAMMIT HE HECKED UP* Y'know. ...sometimes. Whirl: *well he Tried* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Mumble.* Whirl: *he has the good graces to look at least a little abashed, glancing away with his antenna pinned back* Starscream: ...*did Whirl just act ashamed* Whirl: *don't u DARE TELL ANYONE* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Looking like home, neheheh.}} Whirl: He's got chutzpah. FakeProwl: More chutzpah than brains. Whirl: *shrugs* B l u r r: Ahh, yes. Use fear... Starscream: And that's why he's dead. FakeProwl: He's just made a bet against a known and repeat cheater. Whirl: Well, wat would have suggested he do to get what he want? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Kill the god.]] FakeProwl: Find a way to cheat first. Whirl: So, your solution is KILL a god or OUTSMART him. Gotcha. Whirl: A GOD. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We nearly murdered our own. It can be done.]] Whirl: Anyway, if I had to choose--I'd have to say, I'd cose someone who was brave but not too bright over someone who was a smart coward. B l u r r: Oh, trust me. The bravest of mechs are the dumbest. Starscream: Well, fools flock together, so that's no surprise. Whirl: Explains how YOU got elected. FakeProwl: *snort* Whirl: ...also look how cute it is. Starscream: Too bad, looks like if you had an objection you should have actually been around to participate in the election and not gallavanting in space. Whirl: I'm not even FROM your dimension. Whirl: And, I'm not a citizen, either, so it doesn't even matter. Starscream: ... actually no, it doesn't. Why ARE you complaining about it? FakeProwl: You don't know Whirl very well, do you. B l u r r: You being in charge of anything is a frightening concept. Whirl: I'm not complaining. I'm just speaking the truth. Starscream: I try to forget everything about him as soon as I stop looking at him. Whirl: Oh, that's rich, coming from YOU, prowl. Whirl: None of you know anything about me. *snorts* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tilts his helm. Nothing at all?* Whirl: *YOU know a little* FakeProwl: *slow blink* B l u r r: / he knows a tiny bit / Whirl: *but it wasn't like he could help it at the time* Starscream: And yet, here I am. In charge, and the planet is still in the same number of pieces. Whirl: Yeah, you're in charge of a bunch of idiotic NAILs. Whirl: What a victory. FakeProwl: *he knows whirl better than starscream.* Whirl: *he does, but that is not saying VERY much* FakeProwl: *and he knows that whirl will never turn down an opportunity to diss people he disrespects.* Whirl: *this is true* FakeProwl: *that's enough to make a snide side comment to starscream about how much starscream doesn't know whirl if he's questioning his complaining* Starscream: *Starscream tries to forget everything about Whirl immediately. He really doesn't care* Whirl: *all that aside, Whirl will also never pass up an opportunity to remind people how little they actually know* FakeProwl: ... That's rubbish. FakeProwl: Manolo was bever afraid of "being himself." FakeProwl: He spent the whole movie struggling to be himself despite his father and grandmother's pushing him to be otherwise. Starscream: Probably why he was so confident about the wager. FakeProwl: His greatest fear was defying his family. FakeProwl: And, likely, disappointing them. Otherwise, they wouldn't have been able to push him into bull fighting for so long. Whirl: *snickers* Whirl: I can respect someone who sings opera while they slaughter folks. Whirl: Nice. B l u r r: Kyeheheh. Yes, it is rather nice. Starscream: His entire family is dead now, aren't they. B l u r r: Seems that way ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nod.* Whirl: *also nods* FakeProwl: Unless he has some distant cousins we've never met. B l u r r: ... That's the best, isn't it? Fighting and dancing. /mumbling / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It is.]] Whirl: Okay, now. If all THREE of them show up and kick his aft. Whirl: If all three of them take this guy out. Whirl: Obviously they should ALL get together. FakeProwl: Humans are weirdly obsessed with monogamy. Whirl: Maybe it's a biological thing. FakeProwl: Which is unfortunate, because both of the suitor characters are much more tolerable when they aren't battling over her. Whirl: The three of them could make a good team. Lots of killing to be had. *nods* Starscream: Or the narrative isn't telling us they're intolerable FakeProwl: I doubt it. If it were biological, there wouldn't be so many humans lamenting the difficulty of monogamy, cheating on their monogamous partners, et cetera. Starscream: ((mwah Whirl: ((GOD. FOR REAL)) FakeProwl: ((threeway makeouts. now.)) B l u r r: [[ his sequels are about the other two >>;; ]] B l u r r: [[ im excited. ]] Starscream: (( OuO Whirl: No, I mean, it's a biological thing to be obsessed with monogamy. FakeProwl: ... Hm. Whirl: But obviously, conjunx ritual aside, all three of them are a thing. *waves  aclaw* Starscream: This probably could have been avoided if she'd visited him once in a while. B l u r r: She was sent away. Starscream: No, I mean La Murete. B l u r r: They're in charge of two different realms. They probably can't visit. Starscream: At the start, the complaint was that the land of the forgotten sucked and he wanted to trade. B l u r r: The Land of the Forgotten reminds me of what Terminus is said to be like. Starscream: So, what, they can only interact on the Day of the Dead? FakeProwl: Can't they combine their realms and rule jointly? B l u r r: Yes, the Day of the Dead is when the realms are open to one another. Starscream: ..well that's a terrible arrangement. B l u r r: [[ hhhhh his wings ]] Sadie: [[ okay i must sleep ]] B l u r r: In any case... who wants something to eat? B l u r r: [[ ni ni!! ]] Whirl: Bad advice. *snorts* Sadie: [[ good night friends <333333 ilu all ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((night fabu!)) Whirl: ((GNIGHT FABU)) ItsyBitsySpyers: #meeeee Whirl: It was all right, I guess. The visuals are what saved it. Whirl: (I LOVED IT THO)) Whirl: ((SOME of the music choices could have been a bit better but it was great)) B l u r r: [[ i love it , tho i agree with the music ]] Whirl: Depends, Teach--whatcha cookin up for us? B l u r r: Well, I made my Master a cake. /pats the coffin/ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave waves off the food. None for him. Obviously.* B l u r r: And I've got some liquid snacks that are especially made for you. B l u r r: / for whirl / Starscream: ((I had forgotten that i didn't like how the narrative sort of backs Joaquin into a corner FakeProwl: *... blinks at the coffin* FakeProwl: *who's in there. why. why is blurr like this.* Starscream: I'm not in the mood for vaccum-packed Prime. B l u r r: He is not vaccum packed... FakeProwl: ((tbh i'm kind of glad it backed him into a corner--it saved him from having to be a Massive Major Douchebag to try to go through with a wedding right after his buddy died)) B l u r r: / scoffs/ I wasn't going to hang him on the wall like Thundertron. FakeProwl: ((it allowed him to be more sympathetic while still fulfilling the role of The Romantic Rival)) Starscream: ((I would have liked it better if they didn't need him to be in a corner OR a massive major douchebag and just let him be an equal protagonist Whirl: *tilts his head curiously; he's genuinely intrigued if Blurr tried to make something for him* Whirl: *he MIGHT even be able to taste it* FakeProwl: ((also, considering that the situation was kind of engineered by two gods fvckin around with mortal lives, it sorta makes sense to me that he'd be backed into a corner he didn't want to be in.)) B l u r r: / sends a comm link out. Some mechs are gonna push a cart with a huge cake and then one specifically for whirl's liquid snacks/ Whirl: ((yeah like... I would've liked for him to have been cas more sympathetically, but I think it still works--his selfless act at the end feels more like a revelation if he's been a bit selfish the rest Whirl: of the film)) FakeProwl: ((but ye, hopefully in the sequel he can just be an equal protagonist and they can be a vaguely poly trio)) Whirl: ((but 4 real they need to all 3 get together. I know it's too much to ask for but i Want It)) Starscream: ((This is true. and after all, it may very well be that you're not SUPPOSEd to like it as a narrative direction.)) Starscream: ((and yesssss Whirl: *like a wayward snake, Whirl is periscoping to see this liquid snack being brought to him. He's not even trying to be cool about it* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak's gonna try to divebomb the cart in a second* FakeProwl: *immediately grimaces at the sight of food* FakeProwl: *which corpse are they celebrating this time. he doesn't want to know.* B l u r r: Let me know if you like them, Whirl. /hums and pats the top of the coffin / ItsyBitsySpyers: *It's probably best if Prowl doesn't ask.* FakeProwl: *he's not going to.* B l u r r: / drapes over it / The fleet has their own share already of snacks. Whirl: *scoops it up, pauses, and then lifts it in toast* To Blurr's old boss. I only kew him as a weird motherfragger, but y'know what? There are worse things to be. B l u r r: / smirks and taps claws on the coffin/ Hear that? Whirl salutes! / salutes claws at Whirl / We thank you. FakeProwl: *"blurr's old boss." that's already more than he wanted to know.* Whirl: *nods and takes a swig. How noxious is this stuff, on a scale of 1-10. And/or spicy or whatever* B l u r r: / it's sweet with some pop of spice / Whirl: *he can probably baaaaarely taste it then* Whirl: Not too shabby, Teach. B l u r r: Aw, thanks /wiggles claws/ We've been celebrating a lot lately. B l u r r: Still trying to come up with a name for the Fleet. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\TH' FLEET'S FUNNY ALL BY ITSELF.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\Y'KNOW. FLEET. FAST.\\ Whirl: PFFT. Whirl: That's damn clever, Frenzy! B l u r r: It is. K-Kyeheheheh. But, we want a specific name for them. B l u r r: And I'm not going to call them what that fool Thundertron called them. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I GOT MOMENTS. MY BRO DON'T GET 'EM ALL.\\ B l u r r: Kyeheheh. Whirl: Yeah, "Star Seekers?" Lame. B l u r r: Right? Lame. Whirl: *and speaking of the brother... Whirl nudges Rumble in what he things is a subtle way* @R: Hey. Uh, sorry. Y'know. B l u r r: Maybe Roadbuster can help me think of a name... ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //Yeah, sure. It's whatever, mech. Know ya ain't me.// Starscream: Herald. B l u r r: Pardon? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave glances at Starscream, still on edge. That better not have two other words behind it.* Starscream: Your fleet. Heralds. It's thematic with the whole Emperor thing. Whirl: @R: Yeah, but still it's not--I don't mean, y'know, YOU. Just running on automatic. Kinda hard to put the brakes on the four-million-year-long bitterness train. Whirl: Herald sounds too stuffy. B l u r r: Hnnh... /drums claws on the coffin lid/ I suppose that makes the most sense, but I don't want people to think I'm fully a King now. That's not what I want. Whirl: I don't have any better suggestions, I'm just saying. Whirl: Except... maybe. *thinks* Starscream: Harbingers, then. That's usually paired up with stuff like 'doom'. Whirl: The Out of School Suspension Squad. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Heh.// B l u r r: ....Harbingers. Hnh. B l u r r: / snort at Whirl/ Now, that sounds likely. Kyeheheheh. Whirl: The Detention Decimators. Starscream: *pained look* That's /awful/. Whirl: *looks damn PROUD of himself at that declaration* Whirl: *it's hard to preen when you're half-buried/half sat upon by a giant scorpion and a minibot but Whirl manages it* B l u r r: / hums/ Good suggestions. ItsyBitsySpyers: //...Teacher's Pets.// Whirl: I just advse not going with something too grandiose. Makes it easier for folks to make fun of--PFFT. Whirl: *LAUGHS* B l u r r: K-KYAHAHAHAA!! Starscream: *MORE PAIN* B l u r r: That's a good one. Whirl: Something Academy. Whirl: Use Academy. B l u r r: ...Hmm. Whirl: That's as good as you're gonna get from me, I'm a fighter, not a naming-things-er. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Fitting music.]] B l u r r: That's fine. B l u r r: I'll take some of the suggestions and talk them over. ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: Nah, I know. You do you. *Rumble considers saying that Whirl might not have to live on the bitterness train forever if even Frenzy can get a someone, but. He probably don't got that kinda right.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *So he just nods.* Starscream: Hm. Actually, Blurr, there is something I would like to discuss. ItsyBitsySpyers: *And Ravage suddenly pops Soundwave on the leg with claws. No falling asleep in public.* B l u r r: / tilts helm/ Hmmn? Whirl: *nods back, but very slightly, as he's trying not to be obvious* @R:  Careful. Dangerous advice, mech. *in an attempt to inject a bit of levity* But, seriously. Sorry. I *do* mean it. FakeProwl: *... quietly listens in on Starscream's conversation* Whirl: *he feels like there's more to say, but this isn't the right place, and Starscream's words have piqued his interest* ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: ...Thanks. Starscream: You rejected my offer of cooperation before. However, I'm still willing to seek a mutually beneficial relationship. Whirl: *another surreptitious nod* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave pops back online in time to hear... what is this? What offer of cooperation?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sets music internally to keep himself up and focuses* B l u r r: Friends with benefits? Hmmmnh... that requires us to be friends. Whirl: *snickers* Starscream: I'll settle for relaxed aquaintances. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Slow turn to Prowl.* @P: (txt): ...What missed? Starscream, Blurr: interface item? Whirl: ((the hatef uck of the century)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Not to my knowledge. I think he's ineptly asking for a /professional/ relationship.» B l u r r: Depends on what I'm getting out of it. B l u r r: It's gonna take a lot for me not to slam your face into the wall and drag it down. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Listens to them again, then a quick glance back to Prowl.* FakeProwl: @Starscream «You're trying to recruit BLURR'S services? Did you miss the fact that he's throwing a party for his last boss's corpse in the coffin next to him?» ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt): 'Ineptly': insufficient. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Settles again. Must hear response.* B l u r r: [[ aw come on Prowl. u were invited ]] FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Would you like me to use a better synonym, or...?» Starscream: @P ::Have you missed the mechs built into the literal walls around us?:: ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt) Negative. Intention: deal commentary. Words difficult. Apology. Starscream: And that depends on what you want. There are things I cannot offer, and others that I won't. FakeProwl: @Starscream «I assumed you would care less about them than about what he apparently does to the people who hire him. What do you hope to get out of Blurr?» B l u r r: / hums and looks down at the coffin. Drums claws. Looks like he's thinking/ I want access to the entire city. B l u r r: Any time I want it. FakeProwl: @Starscream «No. He can't have unrestricted access to the city.» Starscream: @Prowl:: Enforcement via a method less directly connected to myself.:: FakeProwl: @Starscream «There are more reliable agents we can use.» Whirl: *watches this all with silent, but obviously amused, interest* Starscream: Entire city- and I'm assuming you're including Metroplex in that demand. B l u r r: Is it part of the city? Because then that's an affirmative. Whirl: Teach, you know I like you, but if you go ona  urderspree on my home planet, just remember: I might kick your ***. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble doesn't give a frag what's going on. He's busy sprawled and listening to the music.* B l u r r: I'm not thinking about a murderspree at the moment. Whirl: ((wow my typing is so good tonight)) Whirl: Just so you KNOW. B l u r r: I know. /hums/ Whirl: *this apparently satisfies him* Starscream: Escorted access to an agreed-upon majority of the city, except for Metroplex. That would have to be sorted as a seperate deal. B l u r r: Drop the escort and I'll settle for agreeing on a majority. FakeProwl: @Starscream «We can't afford to leave him escorted. And he has unique mods that would make him incredibly hard to catch if he decided to flee. He might be able to outrun OUR Blurr.» FakeProwl: **unescorted Starscream: *drums fingers on leg* Notice given before any trips into the city, then. And a limit to the number of mechs you can bring with you. Starscream: @Prowl::What mods?:: B l u r r: / hums and looks over at Whirl. Then looks at the coffin. Trying to think like he's supposed to here. Lifts index digit/ A warning before I enter the atmosphere. And only three mechs allowed with me. B l u r r: At a time. FakeProwl: @Starscream «I don't know the details of them. They permit him to move at absurd speeds.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «And I still don't see why you have to use him instead of somebody less likely to betray you and start murdering your citizens.» Starscream: @Prowl ::Because he has the manpower, will most likely refuse to be bought out by a higher offer, and has no interest in taking IAcon for himself.:: Starscream: Notice will be given on who those mechs are at the same time as the general warning. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, his theme song* B l u r r: Hmmm... the mechs are interchangable. FakeProwl: @Starscream «But he may be bought out by a bloodier offer. Or just, casually decide he doesn't feel like working with you anymore.» B l u r r: I can choose to switch out mechs at any time. FakeProwl: "Only three mechs allowed with you." Are you referring to YOUR mechs that you'll bring along, or OUR mechs that will escort you? B l u r r: my own B l u r r: I trust absolutely none of your mechs. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Mandate an escort. He cannot be allowed in Iacon with no restraints.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «... An escort he doesn't know about, if necessary.» Starscream: Agreed, as long as you do not exceed three mechs with you on the ground. The rest have to remain on your ship. Starscream: @Prowl ::Naturally.:: Starscream: Visitations are limited to a day. After that you either have to tell us that you are still in Iacon or leave. Whirl: *raises claw* Whirl: Obviously, I don't count against Teach's limit. B l u r r: They have no problem waiting on the ship as it is right now. /shifts and drums claws/ Depends on what you want me to do. Whirl: So, lemme know when you're in town, mech. B l u r r: Hmm /nods at Whirl / Naturally. B l u r r: Visitations are limited to exactly one day unless The Emperor is in need of repairs. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Permit that, and he'll use false claims of repairs to stay longer.» Starscream: Repairs will have at least one of our mechs assisting, to ensure proper communication on the status of said repairs. B l u r r: Mech can watch but no one touches my ship but me and my crew. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Make it at least two. If there's only one, it's all the easier for that mech to go in and never exit again.» B l u r r: My crew is also allowed to stand guard outside my ship. So that I am not approached by any MORE strangers. B l u r r: Considering how one decided to waltz into my ship last time I was on your planet. Starscream: That sounds like a security issue that should be taken up with your own crew. Any guards you set must remain within twenty meters of your ship. B l u r r: Oh, no worries... he isn't coming back /smirks/ I believe he knows I won't hesitate to shoot him next time. Whirl: *his helm is flicking back and forth like he's watching a tennis match; Whirl is hugely amused* Starscream: Keep your shots to those that get close to the ship, then. B l u r r: / smirks and leans back/ Hmmm... / eyes his claws/ And what are we negotiating for, hn? You and your cabinet want something from us? B l u r r: / glances up and around. Soundwave. Prowl. Starscream. Whirl. Company of Soundwave. / FakeProwl: *shakes his head. nope. he's no part of this.* Starscream: *if Whirl is on the cabinet Starscream wants to know who was drunk enough to approve it* Whirl: Please don't affiliate me with THIS chucklehead, Teach. *gestures to Starscream* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, he'll try to get something out of this, but... not from Blurr. Not this time.* Whirl: *minister of reigious affairs* FakeProwl: I'm his /prisoner./ I wouldn't call myself "cabinet." B l u r r: Oh, I'm not. I'm just assuming he's not the only one. This fool can't lead a city alone. FakeProwl: If I was, this offer would never have been made. B l u r r: Oh, but you have done something once. Whirl: Pribably not, but as I said before--it's a city of idiotic NAILs who thought voting for HIM *gestures to Starscream* was a GOOD idea. Whirl: So I wouldn't be surprised if he WAS running the show alone. B l u r r: /snicker snort. Pats the coffin/ B l u r r: There's always a right hand mech... Starscream: The short answer is that I require /competent/ help. My own options for Enforcers, while useful for general brute tactics, are otherwise lacking. B l u r r: You need an assassin... FakeProwl: @Starscream «Speaking of which, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. They're rubbish at anything resembling police work. Trampling over crime scenes, destroying valuable evidence, et cetera.» Starscream: A secret police isn't very effective if everyone is in on the secret. I require the use of someone that is otherwise seperate from myself. Someone with their own agency. Starscream: And possess more pride than a simple gun for hire. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Either you need to hire a police force independent from your enforcers, or they need training.» Starscream: @P ::I'd rather hire a new force that hasn't yet proven to be completely useless.:: Whirl: *SECRET police? That's interesting* FakeProwl: @Starscream «I'd recommend that as well.» B l u r r: We're not an agency. We're pirates. FakeProwl: ... And, for future reference, the next time you try to form a secret police, maybe don't do it in the presence of one of Rodimus's crewmates and a foreign spymaster.» FakeProwl: ((that was supposed to be @starscream)) Starscream: ...Agency. Capability for independant action. Starscream: @Prowl ::Who said I'm forming a secret police?:: B l u r r: So what you want is someone who will come into your city and kill people you can't kill yourself? FakeProwl: @Starscream «For starters, you did.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «Even if that's not the final term you want to apply to him, the point still stands.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «If you're hiring an independent agent to perform jobs that can't be tied to you, DON'T have witnesses at the job interview that will be able to tie him to you.» Starscream: *Waves a hand dismissively. Whatever, language* More or less. Future tasks may include staged mobs, tactical strikes on key locations, that sort of stuff. Starscream: We can negotiate future jobs as they come up. Starscream: @Prowl ::One witness doesn't live in this plane of existance, and the other is a non-native Soundwave.:: B l u r r: / drums claws on the coffin and looks contemplative / FakeProwl: @Starscream «Yes, Whirl lives here. He's not FROM here but he immigrated to this Lost Light. He's a local.» Whirl: *snickers and nods at Blurr* Already, the job offers are rolling in. Who knew killing one pirate could be so lucrative? B l u r r: Oh, like Starscream would get one over on Thundertron FakeProwl: @Starscream «Everything you and Blurr have said to each other can be reported straight to Rodimus. OUR ROdimus.» Whirl: What? No. I meant, killing Thundertron has been a huge boost to your resume. FakeProwl: @Starscream «If he doesn't, it will only be because he likes Blurr—and someday he might decide he likes Blurr less than he dislikes you.» B l u r r: Oh. K-Kyeheheh. I suppose so. B l u r r: Among other things. Starscream: @Prowl ::Then I leave it up to you to figure out how to prevent Whirl from deciding to tattle.:: Whirl: Boost to morale. Boost to... your wallet. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Figure it out yourself. I spent four million years cleaning up unnecessary messes made by my superior; I didn't throw in my lot with you to do more of the same.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «I would have thought you'd spent enough time cleaning up YOUR superior's messes to know what a waste they are of a second's time.» B l u r r: Hmm... I suppose so. Though, I don't need money Whirl: Pfft. Everyone needs money, Teach. Write that down as lesson number one if you're gonna live here. FakeProwl: @Starscream «So. Excellent work handing damning blackmail material to your chief political rival. "Staged mobs and tactical strikes" indeed.» B l u r r: I'm not gonna LIVE here Starscream: Think it over for a while. I would like your answer within, oh, a week. B l u r r: /sNORT / Whirl: "Here" as in, "the multiverse at large, and not just your corner of it." B l u r r: Restate the terms. Starscream: Restricted access to Iacon with no extra access to Metroplex. Unescorted by Iacon mechs, with a limit of three crew members as company. Crew members can be exchanged. Starscream: Visitations are to be annouced when you break atmosphere, and are not to exceed one day with exceptions if the Emperor needs repairs. At least one Iacon mech will oversee but not interfere with repair FakeProwl: @Starscream «Still should have made it two mechs to oversee.» Starscream: You are permitted to mount a guard around the ship while grounded, as long as the guards do not move more thant twenty meters away. Starscream: @P ::I said at LEAST.:: B l u r r: /shifts and leans over the coffin to look at Starscream/ Targets assigned to me are subject to murder of any degree and the frames belong to me unless needed to evidence. In which case, they will be B l u r r: sent to me. FakeProwl: @Starscream «He's going to fight for it to be one every time. But fine.» B l u r r: / holds up a second digit to add to the first/ Any deaths caused by mass mobs are not my fault, as I cannot control what a mob does with their own rage. B l u r r: / a third digit, and this may surprise you/ I have to know the reason as to why the specific job is given. The /real/ reason. Starscream: Unless the target requires being killed ina specific way, I leave the method up to your descretion. Starscream: *Smirks* Want to make sure you're going after those that deserve it? B l u r r: / hums/ No, I want to know how long the murder needs to be dragged out before they die. Starscream: Very well. Whirl: *tilts his head, but doesn't say anything* B l u r r: / adds a fourth digit. Leans forward more/ And if you ever set me up, rest assured that I will come for you and tear you from your throne and spread your innards along the walls of your city. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy squints. He's pretty sure Starscream doesn't have that many innards.* Starscream: *he didn't specify how many walls* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Maybe, but two walls isn't that impressive a threat. It's gotta be like... twenty. Starscream's not big enough for twenty.* Whirl: *not with that attitude* FakeProwl: ((cut him up in tiny chunks. just smear a little on each wall.)) B l u r r: [[ yes good ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((go big or go home is his style)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((but yes carry on)) B l u r r: And if you put me in a cage, know that I will get out of it. I /always/ get out of it. Whirl: *for one, you have a willing jailbreaker who can bridge u out* Starscream: *that is the risk when dealing with these types, isn't it* Starscream: Naturally. You won't be very useful in a cage, after all. B l u r r: So they say. FakeProwl: @Starscream «His threats are more boring than Lockdown's.» FakeProwl: *he's not even contributing at this point, he's just griping.* B l u r r: / leans back a little/ Regardless... if anything happens to me, my crew knows who to call and how to get them here. Whirl: *shifts in the hammock pile and manages to get one leg free to streeetch* Well, I'm tired. And my medicine is wearing off. *looks at his empty canister* Whirl: So, I'm out. Whirl: *bobs his head at Zori* Good to see you again, Professor. ItsyBitsySpyers: #goodbye! Starscream: *a wave of the hand* Is that an agreement or are you going to deliberate on it more? Whirl: *bobs his head at Rumble, too* ItsyBitsySpyers: #um #I will be back soon #before the dog dies Starscream: (sORI Starscream: ((*zORI Whirl: Do what you gotta, mech. No pressure. Whirl: ((ZORI....)) B l u r r: / waves at Whirl / Whirl: *salutes Blurr, and does another series of bobs for Soundwave and Frenzy. Just bobbin away* FakeProwl: ((............... what dog. i missed something.)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Returns it.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((Whirl said Zori hadn't been around in a dog's age. Zori asked how old the dog was. The dog is apparently very old now.)) FakeProwl: ((oh. pffff.)) Whirl: *and with a bit of creative wriggling, he is free, and off* B l u r r: One more thing, Starscream. I want discounts on supplies. Starscream: Our economy is barely there and you want discounts? B l u r r: /holds out claw. Wiggles digits. Come on, shake hands with the devil and all that / B l u r r: I'll give them enough money. B l u r r: Pit, I can even bring them more business. Starscream: Somehow I have my doubts. Starscream: *but fine. Handshake it is* B l u r r: / shake shake / B l u r r: / snickering. Rattles claws on the top of the coffin/ Starscream: *this was definitely a bad idea but it's also a good idea so YOLO* B l u r r: / Grins. A very sharp toothed grin / FakeProwl: @Starscream «If you're done with this mistake—I have a far more valuable potential recruit for you to interview.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «Although I suggest NOT doing so in public.» FakeProwl: @Soundwave «While we have Starscream's attention—would you be ready for a job interview? Or do you need time to prepare?» *i.e., get some damn sleep* Starscream: @Prowl ::Suggestion noted. Especially if you're going to fuss this much.:: FakeProwl: @Starscream «YOU should be fussing. Honestly, you used to work with the Senate. Did you learn nothing about how to hide dirty laundry?» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Preparation requested. Last recharge date: six Earth days ago. Alertness, patience needed. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «How are you not dead.» FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Rhetorical question. Don't answer that.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Avoidance request obeyed. Will recharge tonight. Interview possible tomorrow night. Starscream: If we're all finished here, I believe it's time for me to leave. ItsyBitsySpyers: *A farewell ping with just as many formality tags as the greeting one.* FakeProwl: @Starscream «Do you have space in your schedule tomorrow? You can interview him then.» FakeProwl: *has failed to mention who he's offering.* Starscream: *casual wave to Soundwave and Prowl and- yeah nah, not waving a Blurr even if they're now business partners* Starscream: @Prowl:: I have a few free spaces in the evening.:: FakeProwl: @Starscream «Good. Send Soundwave your available times. I'm sure something will overlap.» Starscream: *...points at Soundwave. This one?* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((has prowl considered a career in bomb dropping)) FakeProwl: *affirmative ping* FakeProwl: @Starscream «And for goodness sake, don't point.» Starscream: *A snort. Well, not exactly who he was expecting.* FakeProwl: ((ask carpessa)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ouch)) Starscream: @Prowl ::I'm the king. I can point if i want.:: ItsyBitsySpyers: *Primus, he's pointing. This is going to be a lot of work.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's not just sleeping tonight, he's sleeping in.* FakeProwl: @Starscream «You can't point if you want to keep potential secret assets secret.» Starscream: @PRowl ::Why, was it a secret that you wanted me to ping him?:: Starscream: *will send Soundwave the information for his free slots, tho* FakeProwl: @Starscream «Did you perhaps not notice that we're communicating over comms.» Starscream: ..Why is that, actually. You no longer have snide commentary to keep private. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Skims them and sends one (as yet undetermined but probably around the usual stream start time) back* FakeProwl: @Starscream «Because we're still on somebody else's ship that might be covered in cameras, and /nobody is supposed to know I'm working for you./» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Even if the ship isn't covered in cameras, they're sitting in the room with one sorta, so.* FakeProwl: @Starscream «Please, PRETEND to have a brain, and if you notice I'm doing something unusual assume it's for a good reason and follow my lead.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *And since Starscream is randomly answering the air....* [[He has no snide commentary because there is nothing to be snide about.]] Starscream: Oh no, not anymore. Starscream: *An affirmative ping to Soundwave. That tme is fine* ItsyBitsySpyers: *At least Starscream had the sense to go along with that. Mostly.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Indeed. Please excuse him, Lord. We must return.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rises and summons his crowd. A ping to Prowl (and one to Blurr if he's still around) and they'll all get docked and on their way* Starscream: I was just heading out myself, unless Prowl requires my attention? FakeProwl: No, I'm sure you'd just make my headache worse. Starscream: Then we can agree on something. Goodnight. FakeProwl: *disappears*