#god doctor who has some good monologues
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Beneath Miles of Stone - Part seven - John Wick x Plus Size Fem Reader
Summary: John has been in prison for nine months. He’s content to stay if it means appeasing the high table and keeping peace between the owners of each continental. However, he meets someone who erases that willingness. Peace be dammed.
TW: blood ; PTSD
It was a prison riot that started in the upper levels and trickled down into the infirmary. That makes sense, because the closer they got to freedom the more chaotic everything became.
The police officers that talk to her in the ER ask a million questions and she mostly lies to keep John’s name out of her mouth. It’s easy to say that she can’t remember most of it, because her brain is an expert at blocking out trauma. She thanks her less than ideal upbringing for that. The story is that she was close to the exit, got jumped by some inmates, and managed to get away and out of the doors with guard keys. No, she didn’t see anyone else escape or remember faces or name badges.
They pressed her until her nurse, an older woman named Karen, came in and put a stop to it.
Badass Nurse Karen, who told the police officers: “She already told you everything, and she needs to rest now.”
They left begrudgingly after that.
“You alright honey?” Karen asks.
She nods, wipes tears from her eyes.
Karen pats her shoulder and hands her a foam cup sloshing with ice and water.
The doctor says her X-rays look good, but she may have a few aches and pains over the next few days as her bruising heals up. He prescribes her Toradol to help, but she doesn’t bother picking it up from the pharmacy.
There are more important things on her mind, like who the hell is John Wick and why did he allow her to live?
She Googles his name on her phone while she sits in the hospital bed and comes up blank except for a few pictures and articles on well known businessmen that look nothing like him.
Her second problem should probably be her first, but John sticks to her mind like a glue trap and she can’t stop thinking about him no matter how much she tries. She’s not very strong-willed, especially when it comes to human connection.
The second problem is if she still has a job or not. Will they shut the prison down or keep it open? Does she want to go back after today? Are there any other jobs that pay as well within walking distance? If not, how much time will she need to save up for a down payment on a car?
Her phone rings. She answers blindly.
Michael is on the other end, sounding panicky. “Are you okay? I just got home and the news says there was a riot at your job? Please tell me you’re not dead.”
“I’m okay, Michael. I got out and I’m at the emergency room right now.”
“Oh my god,” Michael groans, “what happened to you?”
She feeds him the same bullshit story she gave to the cops, but, unlike them, Michael accepts and trusts her word. That makes her feel guilty. “I’m alright,” she assures, “just bruised.”
“When are you coming home?” He asks. “I’m gonna make you some tea and whiskey.”
Her trust in Michael increases, only because he doesn’t ask about her job or her income and is more focused on her being alive.
“Thank you, Michael, but you really don’t have to, I’m-“
“Hush!” He commands. “Text me when you’re headed back, and I’ll put the kettle on.”
She rubs her temples. “Thank you Michael, you’re literally an angel sent from Heaven.”
“Uh, babe, duh, where else do angels come from?” He teases.
Fallen angels. From hell. Here to make her terrified of and pining for them. One in particular comes to mind-
“I’m serious,” Michael interjects on her monologue. “Text me when you’re coming home. Take a taxi and if you don’t have the money I’ll pay for it.”
She agrees and hangs up just as the nurse walks in with her discharge paperwork.
She spends the last twenty in her bank account to pay and tip the taxi driver.
Michael grabs her to examine the purple discoloration before she can walk through the door. “Jesus,” he says, “they beat the fuck out of you.”
“You should see the other guys,” she jokes.
He looks at her with a skeptical eyebrow raised before ushering her in.
Before anything she has to take a shower and throw her scrubs in the laundry basket. The steaming water does nothing to wash away her worries.
She walks out in pajamas, wet hair pulled back off her face, to sit at the table. Two steaming mugs of bitter smelling tea await her.
She takes a scolding sip. “This is delicious.” And she means that. The warm liquid melts her insides into a fuzzy pleasant feeling, and she can’t even taste her least favorite alcohol in the sugary mixture. While the shower didn’t help her anxiety, this concoction just might.
Michael blows on his. “Thank you, but I need to ask you something.”
“What?”
“Who is John?”
She tries to act normal but her whole body breaks out into a freezing sweat. She takes another drink of her tea to hide her face. “What?” She says, swallowing hot liquid and nervous pitch.
He smiles. “You’ve been saying his name in your sleep. I assume he’s a crush, because usually at the boyfriend stage you’ve already got a taste so you don’t have to fantasize as much. At least that’s how it is for me.”
The horrified look on her face makes him scramble to reassure her that he doesn’t think she’s a creep, although in saying so it just makes her feel like he absolutely does.
He groans. “I’m sorry, I just thought I could take your mind off of today. Please don’t hate me.”
“I don’t hate you, Michael. Please tell me you don’t hate me.”
He scoffs. “For what? Dreaming about a guy? Babe, I’ve been there more times than I can count. Now, tell me about mystery man.. If you’re comfortable.”
She rubs the side of her neck, embarrassed and staring at the golden top of the table instead of at Michael.
She’s not sure if telling him about John’s blood-covered, deadly hands is a great idea. Or about how simultaneously scared and yearning he makes her. She opens her mouth, then closes it again.
“He’s tall.” Is what she decides on.
Michael deadpans. “Tall?”
“Black hair,” she adds.
“Dark,” he corrects. “Handsome…?”
She nods. “I mean, yeah.”
“What’s he like?”
She tries to think of a good, all encompassing word to describe him. “Intense,” she decides.
“Ugh,” Michael whines, “you have to give me more than this. You’re killing me.”
“He is Russian.” She regrets saying that, not knowing if it’s too much info.
“So you met him online?”
“Yes.” Thank God he gives her that out.
“Ohhh,” Michael grins. “I’ll wanna see a picture.”
“He’s very private,” she lies.
Michael sighs. “Fine. But just promise me you won’t meet up with him alone. He could be a serial killer.”
She almost laughs at that, the irony filling her with crazed hilarity as she remembers John dropping other lifeless inmates to the ground with ease.
“Is he outgoing? Funny? Cocky?” Michael asks.
“Kind of broodish,” she shrugs. “But nice.”
“Broodish?” Michael asks. “You mean emo? Does he sulk around and dress in black?”
“No,” she giggles. “He’s just reserved.”
“Hm.” Michael thinks for a minute, pinky pressing into his pouty pink lower lip. “Well, I’m glad you’re happy.”
She can tell that there’s a lot he’s not asking right now. For her benefit. Leaving him in the dark makes her feel bad, though, because he’s such an open book. She decides to divulge a bit more info that she thinks he will want to hear.
“He has nice hands,” she says, gulping down tea. “They’re big. Long fingers. Veins that you could hit with a needle with your eyes closed.”
Michael leans in, eyes lighting. “Nice forearms?”
“Seem to be,” she confirms. “Lean, muscle-y but not too much. His upper arms are a bit more solid. You can tell he goes to the gym.”
Michael giggles like a school girl, cheeks pinking. “My god,” he says, “could he bench press us?”
“He could bench press you,” she clarifies, grinning and embarrassed.
Michael squeals. He finally chugs his tea and smacks wet lips together. “What a man. So what’s the hold up? Marry him.”
She laughs while a good distraction from John-talk comes to her mind. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m not.. great for him.”
“What? Why?” Michael frowns.
She gestures to herself.
Michael glares at her. “Nah, because we’re not going to do that. You are beautiful. Why do you think it’s not a good match? Cuz you’re a big girl?”
She cringes. “Well, I mean, not-“
He interrupts her by grabbing her hand and squeezing. Michael stares into her eyes like they’ve known each other for decades. It feels like they have. “Listen to me. I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t mean it. Any man would be so lucky to have you. And not just because you are beautiful. You’re also kind. Humble.”
Tears prick at her eyes as she wonders how she got so lucky all at once by meeting John then Michael. After years of shitty relationships, she really thought being alone was better, but here she is being proven wrong because she naturally craves this connection of camaraderie happening between her and Michael.
“You’re pretty great, too Michael. You’re easy to get along with, and generous to a fault.”
Michael chuckles. “Then we make a pretty great team.”
They drink another cup of tea, watch late night Roseanne re-runs, and then go to bed. Michael has to be at class in the morning and then he wants her to come with him to the club. She would refuse, but it would be a dick move considering all he’s done for her. Plus, she gets paid tomorrow, and getting drunk sounds like a good way to forget her problems.
When she wakes up, she spends a few hours trying to call HR and searching for new jobs online. She applies for a few: Clinical Specialist for a local pharmacy, home health nurse for an elderly couple that live on her block, IV infusion nurse.
HR calls her in the middle of cooking breakfast and she answers with toast stuffed in her mouth. They tell her that she can come back to work but will have to deal with renovations and a new infirmary location with limited equipment. She agrees, of course, eager to have her job back so soon as next week.
——————-
It didn’t take long to find the window into her apartment. To his dismay, it’s covered in thick white cloth. He can still see shadows moving inside, wonders if it’s her or the roommate, gets out of his car and leans on the driver door with his hands in his pockets, unabashedly staring up at the figure behind the curtain.
He contemplates the pros and cons of knocking on her door or just climbing up to the window through the fire escape and decides that it will be best to let her be for now.
This is stalker behavior, he knows that, but he doesn’t care. Some might mistake him for thick-headed, but John knows when he’s out of line and he just does it anyway because he can. Plus, it’s not like he’s fucking up her life. Yet.
The first night he got out, he struggled. Not just with stealing his car back from Winston’s safe-keeping, but also with his emotions. The fact that he is standing outside her apartment means that he has lost some semblance of control, which bothers him. To take that control back, he has to reason and bargain with himself.
On one hand, he has spent decades in subservience, always putting his own needs last and bowing to those with power. He starved while watching others grow plump with satisfaction. On the other hand, he is now the one with the power - a different kind, but it’s all the same in black and white - and now he wants something. Someone . And why would he deny himself if he has the means to get her?
So, he reasons that he is still in control, just now fueled by selfish rage which makes him more dangerous.
He’s felt a fraction of this before - this thing he feels for her now, but it’s too soon and too moronic to identify the connection as love. However, the bond is strong and natural and he wants it.
He watches a shadowy figure move past the curtain again, eyes following the curves of black and trying to discern if it matches what he remembers about her shape. The warm dew from his breath fogs the icy air a bit quicker when the shadow passes again. This won’t work. He needs to see her soon. Shadows are okay for a moment, but her physical presence is what he craves.
He will see her tomorrow.
#john wick fanfic#john wick fanfiction#john wick x plus size reader#john wick x reader#john wick x you#keanu reeves fanfic#keanu reeves fanfiction#john wick#keanu reeves
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is there any masterposts on easter eggs or some analysis on good omens s1?
im rewatching it and i want to be more aware of the little hidden things
Ooh I don't know of anything but @fuckyeahgoodomens might have something!
Some that I can think of off the top of my head:
You can see Terry Pratchett's hat and scarf in Aziraphale's bookshop
The guard at the airbase is reading American Gods
Crowley's license plate is NIATRUC which is "curtain" backwards and a reference to a scene from Monty Python
Arthur Young's license plate is SIDRAT or "Tardis" backwards and he addresses Crowley as "Doctor"
There's a number of little tells that Aziraphale and Crowley aren't who they appear to be at the end of episode 6, I think
I think there's a set of Just William books in Aziraphale's reconstituted bookshop which iirc was one of the inspirations for the Them/Adam parts
Neil Gaiman is sleeping in the movie theater when Crowley is there
I think there's various times where you can see some of the other Agnes Nutter prophecies onscreen
This isn't an Easter egg but in the Globe scene if you just listen to Hamlet doing his monologue, I'm pretty sure he's repeating lines: he does the part starting "for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil" twice. Also, Shakespeare calls him "Burbage" who was the star player of the Lord Chamberlain's men and the original Hamlet.
When Newt is introduced, the camera malfunctions a bit in apparent reference to his technological curse.
Newt's scene at his new job is filmed in a camera style similar to "The Office." Also I THINK but I'm not positive that the group doing management training at Tadfield Manor is the same as the company Newt gets fired from.
The movie "Witchfinder General" is playing on the TV in the background of Crowley's meeting with Shadwell
I think everyone knows this but the use of Queen songs is a nod to the book which has a running gag that all cassette tapes left in a car for more than 2 weeks become a Best of Queen album
Also not really an Easter egg but in the book the third baby DOES survive and have tropical fish and he's a minor character named Greasy Johnson! JUSTICE FOR GREASY
You can see Elvis in...I think the restaurant Famine is in? As a reference to the conspiracy theory about Elvis still being alive (in the book Death also comments that he never took him)
There's a TON more though I know, so if anyone has a link to a full list, chime in to help anon!
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Barbie was so good?!? Fucking loved every minute of it, but special shout-out to some things...
(BARBIE SPOILERS below the cut)
This movie was so funny, I can't get over how fucking funny and camp it was, an actual masterpiece 11/10
"This movie is overly feminist and man-hating" - THIS MOVIE AIN'T FOR YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO WATCH THE SHITTY FLASH MOVIE THEN IF YOU'RE SO MAD
(haven't actually seen the flash, have seen a few clips on twitter and i'm glad i haven't, i don't want to, don't @ me)
I'll be honest, I had very few Barbie dolls growing up, I had a medium sized doll house that was not for Barbie-height-toys, and so most of my toys were random figurines collected over the years (shout-out to the McDonald's Happy Meal Narnia toys!), but I was still getting pumped at the beginning of this film when the narrator went into detail about how Barbie can have any career, any life she wants etc.
The attention to detail in Barbie-land, like the pools/sea are all flat and not actually wet, there’s no actual liquid in the cups when they drink, no water in the shower etc.
Look, I will fully admit that HOTD has fucked my brain and my taste in men up, and so I'm blaming that for me looking at Ryan Gosling as Ken and going "yes I would like to obliterate that twink" 🙈
There were a lot of kids in my screening who absolutely did NOT get the "beach you off" joke, meanwhile I was sitting there laughing embarrassingly loudly like an idiot
Why was Allan a whole ass mood, I'm sorry but he was so relatable, arguably the best character I fear-
I like that weird-Barbie is basically what a lot of girls go through with their Barbies at a certain age by cutting off their hair, drawing on them with pens, etc. Like that’s a mood, my sister and I used to wash our Barbies’ hair and draw fake tattoos on them with felt tips 💀
“Do you ever think about dying? 😃” took me out oh my fucking god 💀 I already had one existential crisis this weekend watching Oppenheimer, I don’t need another one from Barbie of all things 😭
The way Ken says “because we’re boyfriend girlfriend” has the most random place in my heart and I don’t know why lol
The sheer horror over Barbie having flat feet LMFAO
Weird-Barbie having the dog where you feed it pellets and then use the tail so it shits the pellets back out?!? Me and my sister were like "oh my fucking god" because we literally had that fucking toy lmfao
Weird-Barbie talking about Ken's smooth plastic bulge, I literally CHOKED-
Honestly just... Barbie entering the real world and being confused that men treat her like a sex object, being super uncomfortable, meanwhile Ken's like "they're looking at me appreciatively!"... oof
I nearly choked on my drink when Barbie loudly declared "I don't have a vagina and he doesn't have a penis!" like?!?!?
Barbie and Ken getting arrested not only once but TWICE... oh that's the content I'm living for lmao
I’m so so SO glad that the scene with Barbie and the elderly lady was kept in, I shed a tear because it was so beautiful and simple. When Barbie said that the lady was beautiful?!?! I’m a mess just thinking about it 😭❤️
Pleasantly surprised by the sheer amount of horsey content in this film like yes, that's 100% what the patriarchy should be, it should be about Kens riding horsies :D (I’m aware this is NOT the only thing that happened lmao I’m just saying that the world would be a better place with more horses)
America Ferrera is a fucking QUEEN and I adore her, I know HTTYD is over but she will always be MY Astrid, aka Chieftess Queen and Dragon-Rider
Not gonna lie, I felt Sasha’s little monologue where she rants about the unrealistic standards set by Barbie like I see both sides of what Barbie represents and how she can be viewed and I get it. Like on the one hand, hooray for girls growing up having a doll that can show them they can be Presidents, Nobel Piece winners, doctors etc., hooray for all the feminism to come from Barbie. But also you could argue that there’s unreal expectations in regards to Barbie’s body shape, and that when we girls grow up into women, we realise that the Real World is not as simple as what we dreamt of while playing with Barbies, that our world doesn’t revolve around having women in positions of power, that we still very much live in a society where women are viewed as being there solely for men, as home makers and wives and mothers, that we can have a certain amount of freedom and power but not too much etc.
Did I kind of guess "hey maybe it's not the daughter who has triggered Barbie's crisis, maybe it's the mother"? Yes, I guessed that early on but I still loved it anyway
I have no idea how Greta Gerwig got Mattel to agree to this script but holy shit, she must be magical or something
The spirit of Ruth Handler, aka THE creator of Barbie who named the doll after her daughter?!? Played by Rhea Perlman?!?!
Also I've only just learnt, after looking at Ruth Handler's wikipedia page, that Ken was named after her son?!?! Barbie and Ken are siblings?!?!
JOHN CENA AS MERMAN KEN?!?!
My sister was so delighted by the amount of Sylvester Stallone references in this film omg
DEPRESSION-BARBIE I WAS IN LITERAL FUCKING TEARS I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING, AND SHE WAS WATCHING BBC'S PRIDE AND PREJUDICE?!? WHILE EATING SWEETS?!? I CANT STOP CACKLING AND CRYING
Depression-Barbie also comes in other variations, including an anxiety one?!?! 🤣
I shit you not, I NEED America Ferrera to be nominated for supporting actress for all the awards because holy fUCK, her monologue?!?! That monologue?!?!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ROB BRYDON AKA UNCLE BRYNN FROM GAVIN AND STACEY IS SUGAR DADDY KEN?!?!
“We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they have come.” - STOP I WAS ALREADY SOBBING
The Helen Mirren fourth wall break where she says that if the filmmakers wanted us to believe that Barbie was no longer pretty, "they shouldn't have cast Margot Robbie in this part", literally ICONIC
KEN’S FLUFFY TIE DYE HOODIE THING THAT SAYS “I AM KENOUGH” ASDFGHJKL I WANT ONE
Ridiculously glad that Ken and Barbie didn’t get together to be honest, yes I get it that Ken is designed as a boyfriend for Barbie but also it would have sucked to have this whole film play out as it did and then have them end up together 💀
The soundtrack of this film was IMMACULATE, 10/10, five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
There’s a definite message and commentary here but I’m too stupid and tired to write it out, so I’ll reblog it from the people who are smarter and more eloquent than me instead but oh my good this film was such an amazing piece of cinema
This isn't everything about the film obviously, there was a lot going on and I'm still mentally processing it so I might add more to the post later but wow, just… wow.
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Halloween 2023 marathon: 19-21
The Hands of Orlac (dir. Robert Wiene, 1924)
Concert pianist Orlac (Conrad Veidt) is excited to return from touring to the arms of his loving wife Yvonne (Alexandra Sorina) right before he suffers injuries in a train crash. While the accident does not kill him, it destroys his hands. His hands being key to his livelihood, Orlac despairs, but the doctors are able to graft new ones onto his wrists. All well and good, with one problem: the hands were taken from the corpse of a guillotined murderer, Orlac is uncomfortable with them from the outset, and once he learns of their origins, Orlac is becoming paranoid that the hands will influence him to kill. Driven to madness by his fears, will Orlac resort to violence?
The Hands of Orlac has a great premise and a great lead actor in the compelling, expressive Conrad Veidt. The atmosphere, though not as surreal as Wiene's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, is decidedly nightmarish and suffocating as the protagonist's paranoia consumes him.
If only the pacing wasn't the worst.
Like, there's slow pacing and then there's submerging your movie in molasses. Orlac runs almost two hours long and much of it is just dedicated to Veidt's very deliberated mannerisms and reactions. I love Veidt-- he was one of the greatest actors of the silent era-- but the scenes of him staring in horror at his hands and whatnot just go on forever and to no real benefit to the story.
And that's unfortunate because this is a very mature, subdued psychological horror film, more about inner conflict than external monsters or psychopaths (though the movie does ultimately have a villain). In some ways, it's ahead of its time: the urban gloom on display here foreshadows the film noir movies of the 1940s and 1950s. However, it's so slow that I had a hard time getting into it.
The Island of Lost Souls (dir. Erle C. Kenton, 1932)
Edward Parker (Richard Arlen) is having a bad week: his ship sank, the captain of the ship that rescued him doesn't like him, and now because of that he's been marooned on the Island of Dr. Moreau, a small bit of land not present on any sea chart. Dr. Moreau (Charles Laughton) seems an amiable, jovial fellow, but what is to be made of the tortured screams in the night or the cowering, abused "natives" who seem to view Moreau as a god? Turns out, Moreau is trying to speed up evolution with his experiments on animals and he hopes to prove his creations can mate with humans by offering Parker his sole female subject, Lota (Kathleen Burke).
The Island of Lost Souls is quintessential pre-code horror, right there with The Most Dangerous Game and the 1932 Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It's gruesome for 1932, dealing with vivisection, inter-species sex, and animal cruelty. Imagine any of THAT flying come the enforcement of the Code.
This is one of very few older horror movies I find genuinely unpleasant even if it doesn't outright show Dr. Moreau cutting up his experiments while they're still very much conscious. Screams are ever present on the soundtrack and they aren't cheesy horror movie yelps. The moans and screaming in this thing are chilling. The humid jungle atmosphere is also palpable, creating a sense of suffocating entrapment. As much as I love many of the classic Universal horror movies, they don't have that same sense of dread and evil this one still possesses.
The Penthouse (dir. Peter Collinson, 1967)
Crooked businessman Bruce (Terence Morgan) and his shopgirl mistress Barbara (Suzy Kendall) find themselves at the mercy of two thugs who break into the penthouse apartment they use for their adulterous liaisons. Tom (Tony Beckley) and Dick (Norman Rodway) are childlike yet ruthless, getting Barbara intoxicated while they tie Bruce up and make him watch. Or rather listen, because boy do these fellas love monologuing.... lots and lots and lots of monologuing.
Yes, the guy who directed The Italian Job made a home invasion movie. It also sucks. Like, oh my GOD, this was designed to torture me, I swear, and not in the way the filmmakers intended. It feels like a college assignment turned into a movie.
Okay, let me be nice first. Visually, this is of interest. Not the quality of the image-- the YouTube upload looks like it was dragged up from VHS hell-- but from what I can see of the compositions and the camerawork, this is a visually dynamic movie doing its hardest to make you forget the script is based on a stage play.
But that's impossible because this is one of those movies where the characters never shut the hell up. They monologue endlessly about Societal Ills and Important Class Themes, occasionally breaking up the lecturing with oddball criminal antics, pot smoking, and violence. It's like an attempt at a "hipper" (for 1967) and more intellectual version of The Desperate Hours, where an ordinary middle-class family is held hostage by criminals as motivated by class-based bitterness as they are by money or freedom. But holy crap, does. It. Drag. 100 minutes of dragging.
Admittedly, the dynamic between Tom and Dick is a little interesting. They're the types who finish each other's sentences and genuinely seem to relish each other's company as they bond over doing these terrible things. They were fascinating to watch when not burdened with pretentious monologues about how baby alligators being flushed down toilets represent society's outliers.
Martine Beswick shows up in the last section as the third accomplice "Harry." Other reviewers claim she brightens up the film, but her appearance is so brief and much ado about nothing at all that she didn't make watching this any more entertaining for me.
The Penthouse feels like a parody of the worst kind of "elevated horror," boring nonsense masquerading as a social statement. Parts of it are memorably bizarre, but there's not enough of that for me to recommend it.
#halloween 2023 marathon#thoughts#the hands of orlac#the island of lost souls#the penthouse#i feel so much of this is negative and i apologize#but man hands of orlac and the penthouse let me down
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Season 2, Episode 3: Face to Face
Okay this one was a bit better than the last episode. When I saw there was an episode about a transgender character in the 1980's I was a bit worried. But I think for the most part, it didn't do too bad a job with it.
This one starts off a bit artistic with juxtaposing shots. First we see a doctor getting ready for surgery.
That's Robert Vaughn, who was a very well known actor and was in a lot of movies from the 1960's & 1970's. Being the age I am, I mostly know him from Superman III and as a spokesperson for some ambulance-chasing lawyers from Boston. But his IMDB page shows a very full career.
He seems to be giving a monologue about how he is a sculptor like Michelangelo (only with skin).
There was another notable star in this one.
I had never heard of this person but it's a special appearance! I guess she's an actress who is famous mostly for B-movies. If that's the case, this show seems right up her alley. The hospital scenes are cut with scenes of a mystery woman getting ready for the day.
Oooh, nice nails.
Back at the hospital, another doctor (or nurse?) gets horny for Dr. Love.
Wow, not obvious at all.
Turns out the mystery woman is Carmen Sandiego. Where in the world?
We don't even get the Hitchhiker until 3:25 into the show, which is a pretty long opening. This is the first one where he just wanders on screen without interacting with any of the characters. The show has gone full Twilight Zone.
The doctor is Dr. Christopher Hamilton, who is a plastic surgeon with ambition and a sharp scalpel. He sees a face and he wants to change it. But unless he looks deeper, there are some things he's not going to see, like a dangerous smile even on the most perfect face.
Huh? Is this some sort of riddle?
When this woman walks into the hospital, it appears she is disfigured as people recoil and a young kid points and laughs.
But when we finally see the mystery woman, she looks like...
A bit masculine, but nothing hideous. Nina Russell, a makeup artist, is meeting with this doctor because she has had gender re-assignment surgery, but wants plastic surgery on her face to make her look more like a woman. He takes the job but not without telling her that the best makeup looks like the woman is wearing no makeup at all. Funny thing to say to a makeup artist.
So this is where it pleasantly surprised me. The doctor treats Nina with respect, addressing her as a woman. However the episode is not perfect and I will get into where it kind goes into not-so-great territory. This is the 80s though.
Woah this guy's assistant is a bargain basement Eugene Levy.
Back at Dr. Hamilton's apartment, things are really heating up. Ick, what does she see in this guy?
The ladies' love Dr. Hamilton. I'm guessing this is the B-movie actress? And what is that behind that tree? Was that other doctor stalking him?
Dr. Gold is introduced to this famous actress that happens to be one of Dr. Hamilton's patients. He is totally star struck.
Those eyebrows deserve a Golden Globe.
We are back at the apartment and woah what's going on here? Drugs and cognac, definitely the perfect combo for a plastic surgeon. Dr. Hamilton is partying with the B-movie actress even though he has surgery in the morning.
Can't forget the strawberries!
Here he uses his scalpel to cut off her bra straps. Hey those Frederick's of Hollywood bras are not cheap! Well actually, they kind of are. Nevermind, cut away.
Back at the hospital, Dr. Eyebrows has a conversation with Nina about the surgery. She is totally confident that Dr. Hamilton will do a great job. This doctor doesn't seem too sure.
We get actually a pretty touching speech from Nina here, going into details about her life and how she felt like she was in the wrong body from age 6. So far nothing really to cringe at.
Dr. Hamilton gets a rude awakening from a phone call wondering why he's not in surgery. Uh oh, what time is it?
Oh God, no one else sees this? This can't be good.
His eyebrows say it all here, that was not a good cut.
Dr. Eyebrows is here for the big unveiling and informs Nina that her doctor is getting on a plane to Paris right now. He starts to remove the bandages and...
That's not a good reaction. She asks for a mirror and is shocked at what she sees, however we don't see it!
Dr. Hamilton is at the airport, flying to Paris, when he spots another attractive woman he wants to bang.
A sexy flight attendant. Seriously what is the appeal of this guy? She entices him with her foot...
Why was this a thing in the 80's? Did everyone have a foot fetish back then.
When that doesn't work she decides to steal his boarding pass so he can't get on his plane.
When she shows him she has it, he asks where they should go. She of course suggests her place.
Wait a minute, her place is a plane? Those pre-911 days when the airport was just one giant un-supervised playground.
He tells her she is beautiful and then she says the best makeup is like no makeup at all. Now where did I hear that before....
Yes! I knew someone was going to rip off their face!
I'm impressed she had enough time to put a new face on when she was just recovering in the hospital a few minutes ago. If I learned anything from Mrs. Doubtfire, it's that a montage like that usually takes several hours.
Now we see her actual face. Ummm...is this the dangerous smile on the most perfect face? Because I don't think that's accurate.
Oof that's pretty rough. It looks like Edward Scissorhands is her doctor. This is where it takes a not-so-great turn as it shows the transgender character as a scalpel wielding maniac. She attacks the doctor's face.
Hmm actually he doesn't look too bad here. Maybe he is a good plastic surgeon.
Oh great now he's Two-Face. He is still reciting that damn monologue from the beginning. Or actually it looks like he is writing it down for some reason.
The ending cuts to the Hitchhiker telling us that Dr. Hamilton took an oath to heal and care but when all you care about is feeling good, there are things you are going to miss...like vengeance working out its own kind of justice.
Yup he definitely deserved it.
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Robin Hood S03E11 (2009)
Another staple of BBC afternoon TV that I barely watched. I doubt I saw this episode and if I did I definitely forgot it.
In which we await Isabella and her goons :) She is the Big Bad, and Joplin's character has no name so I suspect this appearance is brief and backgroundy and one for the completists but I needed some silly medieval nonsense after all the drama of Doctors.
In the meantime there's some powerful homoeroticism going on - Guy and Robin are teaming up to fight said Isabella, but first they have to have a brawl in the woodlitter about how Robin's dad seduced Guy's mum and how they both loved the same woman who Guy killed. My my, that's a lot of history for three seasons!
Ah, this is like....the third from last episode ever so I guess it's going to continue to be 1000% Extra.
Oh hello love!
Ok, he has no name, most of his lines are "Yes Sheriff" and he's largely there so Isabella has someone to monologue off, but otoh 🥵🥵🥵
Oh yes, there's also a soft wee Northern accent, it's rather lovely.
That is a LOOK. For my fellow Lymond fans reading this, yes he is too tall to be Jerott, but also yes, I still have a type. 🥴💀
And he has a little mission on his own now! Probably doomed tbh, given the no-name, one-episode, single-handedly being sent after the heroes kind of deal.
Thinking of @donnaimmaculata's tag for the show when Guy gets thrown in a jail cell and....all the inmates just fall on him, grabbing at him. The Guy of Gisborne fetish show indeed. And his brother Archer gets in on the action with some handcuffs and involuntary stripping!
Oop, arriving slightly too late to catch Robin at the Sheriff's table!
Also the Sheriff apparently has a memory like a sieve, but whatever. Look at this:
Pic spam incoming, he is a mere goon but GOD he’s my type of goon
Baby is having a dreadful day at work: one sheriff wants him to take two of these three idiots alive, but another sheriff has a vendetta against the third and just wants to have a good old fashioned hanging so he’d rather kill the lot. Nameless goons don’t get to argue with sheriffs :(
They do get really fricking sweet red-lined swishy cloaks though
Even goons are amazed when one brother betrays another!
Aww, like a very big cat bringing not-quite-dead shrews home to his boss.
Sorry buddy! Sheriff of York overrules your boss.
Cue chaotic failed execution scene and heartwarming reconciliation between Guy and Little John.
Sorry I only noticed the screenshots still had the control bar on when I’d closed the window and going back and getting new screenshots right now feels like excessive self-indulgence. Trust me when I say: big sword.
But he’s never going to get out of this, not with such excellent Villain Sword Handling Technique:
As you’d expect for the villain’s henchman in The Robin Hood Show :’)
Rating:
Dead? Decidedly. The show even showed Isabella being mad about it!
Evil? Now, far be it from me to apply modern concepts of morality to medieval society, life was often cheap and he lived by the sword. He didn’t kill the old man, he tried to bring the outlaws in alive, and the one he was going to kill was a nob. I don’t think he did anything wrong tbh.
Affects the plot? Oh my no.
4/5 my judgement is clouded by studded pleather, chainmail and big sword.
#adventures in joplin sibtain's imdb page#joplin sibtain#bbc robin hood#the enemy of my enemy#nameless goon rights!#someone should really teach henchmen better sword handling
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BLOGTOBER 10/19/2022: THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE (1962)
"PLEASE…LET ME DIE!"
I have a slightly fraught relationship with Mystery Science Theater 3000. For the most part, my feelings are highly positive: Especially in the Joel Hodgson era, the show oozes love, finds pleasure in maligned and forgotten movies, and only veers into negativity when the film is really insulting. In some cases (many, possibly even most!), MST3K renders the unwatchable watchable, opening the viewers' eyes to a whole world of production that they might otherwise consider unthinkable. Occasionally, though, I worry about some of the programming choices. I don't think that the beguiling oddity PHASE IV really deserves to be riffed upon; ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE may be ridiculous, but it knows that and enjoys itself accordingly without anyone's help; and when we get into the territory of a gorgeous work of art like DANGER: DIABOLIK!, it's really like…what the hell are you guys thinking?!
Anyway. Just in case you're worried that I'm about to try to hot take-ify the infamous BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, that's not what's going on here. This is a perfectly absurd, surprisingly gory and sleazy movie with about one page worth of original content couched in enough padding to protect it from a nuclear holocaust. It's the perfect movie for MST3K, and it's a good thing that so many people have seen it that way. Still, I think it has a little more to offer than just being mindbogglingly dumb and incompetent. A little.
THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, which crawled so FRANKENHOOKER could run, concerns the exploits of cold-hearted surgeon Bill Cortner (Jason Evers), who is frustrated by the cowardice of colleagues who won't let him randomly experiment on the patients who enter his operating theater. He gets a golden opportunity to dick around in God's domain when his shitty driving decapitates his fiancée Jan (Virginia Leith); he hauls her noggin off to his country estate, where he is fully prepared to preserve her consciousness until a suitable replacement body can be had. While Bill cruises strip clubs and bikini contests for transplant material, Jan discovers that his reanimation techniques have given her psychic powers, and she forms a deadly bond with a Thing (Eddie Carmel) locked in a nearby closet. The two monstrosities plot their bloody revenge amid an avalanche of exciting monologues from Jan about her horrific existence.
In spite of its astounding cheapness and its shred of a plot, THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE has a certain amount of chutzpah that makes it endearing, perhaps even uplifting in some perverse way. You think for sure that when Jan wakes up in the pan, it's going to break her heart, but she immediately downshifts to righteous wrath. Virginia Leith reportedly hated this movie, but you wouldn't know it from the gumption she gives her bombastic tirades about how nothing could be more horrifying, and thus more powerful, than herself. Meanwhile, Bill encounters a string of hardboiled adult entertainers who are so streetwise, and so fiercely protective of themselves, that it's actually kind of affecting to watch this seemingly well-heeled doctor slip around their defenses with his veneer of normality in order to do something awful to them.
Adele Lamont in the much shorter, less gory, less nude cut of the movie. Always check your running times!
Of particular interest is poor Doris (Adele Lamont), implied to be a lesbian with the most beautiful body anyone has ever seen, but with a hideously scarred face courtesy of a man who she once "trusted—all the way!" It's painful to watch Bill maneuver relentlessly to gain Doris' hard-won trust, especially since they used to know one another; back in school, Bill defended the disfigured Doris from male mockery after her "accident", and now he's leveraging his heroic track record to fuck up her life even worse. Bill has a Patrick Bateman-like habit of speaking so frankly as to appear to be kidding, escaping all suspicion. He plies Doris with the promise of an experimental makeover, not-joking, "I'm gonna make your face beautiful again. Cut it off and give your body away." Finding this threat impossible to take seriously, Doris relaxes, and heads off to her potentially tragic fate. In this sequence, the padding and repetition almost work to the film's benefit; Doris tries so hard, over and over, to get rid of Bill, that you really wind up feeling like it's not her fault that he eventually bends her to his will. Especially if you've ever been worn down by an ill-intentioned man like this, you gotta feel for Doris.
"A Jewish giant at home with his parents in the Bronx, N.Y." Diane Arbus, 1970
The other cast member you might feel for is the "mass of flesh" made of "broken limbs and amputated arms" that Bill keeps in the closet, played by sideshow performer Eddie Carmel. The "Jewish Giant", made most famous by Diane Arbus, is caked in makeup to make him look optimally freakish, even though "freak" was once an official job title for the actor. Carmel is an interesting guy who also held titles such as mutual funds salesman, standup comedian, and rock singer in the band Frankenstein and the Brain Surgeons. He's worth looking up, even if his presence in this exploitation movie is limited to the finale.
The last thing I'll say about THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE is that it is occasionally stylish, much to my surprise. In between the endless monologues and meandering-around, there are shots that look like cinematographer Stephen Hajnal actually enjoyed setting them up—and there is occasional evidence of some form of humor, like the Grecian-style bust that foregrounds Bill's entrance to the country lab with Jan's severed head under his arm. Just because I noticed this, today I am going to find out if Jennifer Lynch's art house shocker BOXING HELENA would make a good double-bill with THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE. I actually feel slightly worse about that movie, since Lynch made it when she was very young, laboring under her own immaturity and her father's towering reputation, which is apt to magnify her youthful mistakes. Somehow that feels just as grim to me as what happens to poor Doris.
Forgive my shitty picture of my TV, I have limited means here!
PS Jennifer Lynch's SURVEILLANCE is one of my absolute favorite recent genre films, in case it sounds like I'm dismissing her outright! It has my highest recommendation.
#blogtober#blogtober 2022#the brain that wouldn't die#1962#virginia leith#jason evers#adele lamont#eddie carmel#diane arbus#joseph green#rex carlton#stephen hajnal#anthony la penna#leslie daniel#horror#sci-fi#science fiction#body horror
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tell me please, why on earth this game supposed to be so impressive ?? ..
yeah im sitting here guessing wut am i doing to my life so i feel like share w my sorta theory
in nowhere section, alessa's hospital room after one cutscene you can hear a strange sound resonating in your ears
kinda scratching inside braincase
as it turned out, this eerie soundrack (BLESS AKIRA AND HIS MUSIC—) accompanied us for the rest of location
it's almost funne how such small detail could trigger neuron activation and lead me to conclusions LIKE THIS lol
the first link of the chain was immediate thought that harry might have a mild headache or dizziness near this place
idk how to explain this properly maybe it's just a vibe ..
but air w h i s t l e s around that hospital bed with blood-stained sheets even though it's empty
as if it keeps remains of some energy trace so far
what kind of ? good question
if you recall dahlia's monologue, it's the place where God had been nurtured for long 7 years, endless pain threshold test and immense suffering for one little girl
A Very Heart of the Nightmare
don't feel like taking it like a bunch of empty, meaningless words so let me be clear – presence of God in alessa's womb could have real, physical effects on environment or even more, living creatures. i imagine it like some kind of radiation emerging out of her body, that badly affects a human condition and reduces lifetime in general
yeah just trying to find the reason why dahlia had turned into an old hag to the moment of the first game in precisely short time and kauffman looks kind of pasty and pale w his yellowish skin like he has a serious problem w liver. other member of the order who were attending the ritual could at least develop chronic diseases
i'd like to remind here the order was a sect of private religion and had really dangerous people in it. their influence grew into various areas of town's life, we already know abt kauffman being the director of alchemilla hospital
lisa mentioned the series of strange assassinations of officials who were intending to bring some economical changes into structuring of silent hill's life, also later we discover abt murders of the drug traffic case investigators – and it can be said they're responsible for all of that
the order operated discreetly to keep existing power structure as it was
one day, lisa garland – the member of alchemilla hospital's staff was appointed to take care of new special patient
should i describe amount of shock she probably experienced? it was tremendously cruel that someone who had suffered burns covering their entire body that far beyond the fatal level – and still struggles to breathe. but since the girl was impregnated she couldn't die, the malevolent deity simply wouldn't let her. so nurse's new duties included making sure that holy mother's body – one big solid open wound – wasn't eaten by larvae
lisa was terrified so much in the face of that new circumstances, even expressed her plea to be out of that business which is totally understandable
even though she begged superior suspend her from that case, lisa was just an innocent resident and good soul. she couldn't offer them more but a honest promise
no girlie, work it
lisa had to handle it on her own without anyone's help, because the less people know about what really happened that day is better. and just one drug-addicted nurse from uninitiated is pretty convenient number to control the situation. moreover judging from the newspaper article, it was believed alessa died in the fire caused by blaze of antiquated boiler in gillespie house's basement
ok can't say why in the game initially exclusively medical staff were among possessed human enemies known us puppet nurses and puppet doctors. but we know during its events cybil becomes the same species as them and red liquid aglaophotis makes it possible for harry to rid her of the parasite's influence and save her life
now i'd like to remark that aglaophotis and ptv are both produced by white claudia – a plant indigenous to the region where silent hill is located
in other hand, this recreational drug is meant to help member of the order to communicate with the spirit guides and spiritual realm
lisa in her diary states she suffered from severe hallucinations that suspiciously clear remind of some otherworld features: insects, blood and pus coming from bathroom faucet. even though the otherworld itself firstly appeared only at the period of game? amount of ptv her organism received only grew over time, maybe it gave her some immune against spiritual realm's invasion and helped visualize true picture of suffering beyond human comprehension in this room
im inclined to think lisa eventually wasn't allowed to leave her work space at hospital's basement at all. guess, it wasn't too difficult for order to manipulate another fact in the face of public to cover lisa's sudden disappear
the thing is, she spent really dangerous amount of time in close proximity with alessa. she felt bad at the first time with constant need to throw up, but i believe her state became only worse because of God's poisonous influence. it caused breakdown of internal organs and gradually, lisa's hair and nails fell off, her skin sloughed off and finally melting flesh dripped off her face and body
and for some reason i was sure the case of lisa's death was drug overdose: by accident or on purpose. but things got more complicated when m. ito confirmed she was actually killed by valtiel. idk what to think abt it maybe an act of mercy ??
so lisa's bloody scene probably was an allusion to her body decaying and falling apart, that is to say, very light version of what could happen to her through the years of nursing her secret patient
and as long as alessa was bedridden for life she was forced to watch how the only sincerely good person in her life turns into a literal piece of meat in due of her mere p r e s e n c e
just by being there, with alessa's body
the order went too far playing with fire, no wonder why alessa acts like this. the only option left for her to prevent the birth of God is destroying the whole town and probably killing every single person in there
because she firmly believed there's a fate worse than death
#silent hill#text#alessa gillespie#lisa garland#harry mason#as long as they were mentioned too#dahlia gillespie#michael kaufmann#you know i tend to leave half of my thoughts in the tags while commenting someone's art but this case is way too difficult#deserves a post
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Favourite book/movie/tv series quote? You can give one for each, if you have it.
AHH SUCH A HARD QUESTION I LOVE SO MANY QUOTES
fav book quote has got to be something from six of crows or crooked kingdom, its definitely between
Until this moment, Wylan hadn't quite understood how much they meant to him. His father would have sneered at these thugs and thieves, a disgraced soldier, a gambler who couldn't keep out of the red. But they were his first friends, his only friends, and Wylan knew that even if he'd had his pick of a thousand companions, these would have been the people he chose.
and
He needed to tell her...what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to, he'd begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He needed to thank her for his new hat.
i love these books too much to choose just one quote tho istg leigh bardugo's writing 🤌
hard to think of a favourite movie quote, aside from obvious dps quotes
on the more serious side, i do love stans letter from the end of it chapter 2, especially the "be who you want to be. be proud." part
but then also "where are my lesbians??" from pride (2014) lives rent free in my head
god, i love so many tv quotes 😭😭
"we're all stories in the end, just make it a good one eh?" from doctor who
"sometimes you have to do what you think is right and damn the consequences" from merlin
nicks whole i don't want to break up monologue from episode 8 of heartstopper
i watch too many tv shows
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"The Christmas Invasion" thoughts
currently pacing my apartment like i'm in the angry dome. so that's a good sign
not a lot of thoughts on the story itself. pretty serviceable stuff, not really in the vein of a "real" christmas episode in that it's just an episode that happens to be set at christmas without any accompanying themes. no beef about that
if i had a nickel for every doctor who story with a cool creature face design that turned out to be a mask hiding a less-cool humanoid face, i would have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. the next great disappointment in this vein will be the introduction of the silurians, i'm still mad about that. love the sycorax ship tho, very geonosis
this episode gives us a pretty good primer for ten and highlights his best and worst quality, which is that he does not SHUT UP. this is often very entertaining, and some of his speeches are wonderful (the doctor who monologue is a phenomenal trope, and while eleven's in "rings of akhaten" is probably my favorite, each doctor has some bangers) but my GOD dude. ten is rather vain and loves the sound of his own voice even more than the other doctors, which is quite a feat. even when he's annoying, he's charming, tho. tennant is clearly having so much fun with the role
i want to keep note of a few things we see from ten here that will inform the rest of his tenure. ten-ure. do you get it. the quick jump from joking about satsumas to dead cold "no second chances" shows that under the bluster and bravado, there is a stone-cold killer in there. the coward no longer, not really. he's a fighter, not just a soldier
i have a little theory here i'm playing off. so i wrote in my "parting of the ways" post that rose and the tardis kind of corrupt each other, right? rose does to the tardis what she does to the dalek, she infects it with her human-ness. we see from this episode that the tardis and the doctor are symbiotic, too. so rose and the tardis mingle, and then the doctor kisses her to take back the tardis's heart, and it gives him super-cancer and he regenerates. there's no way that corrupting force didn't touch him too, right? i joke that nine imprints on rose but i think that's literally true for ten, rose's energy (and his depth of care for her) forced his regeneration. he's in a physically and emotionally turbulent time during early regeneration, he's elastic. i think rose is part of him, it's why he takes on so much of her personality (i attribute his dark streak to her, she risks her life this episode bc "he would"), it's why they get dangerously codependent this season, it's why he never recovers from her loss
so that'll be interesting to keep an eye on as the season progresses. the last thing i want to call attention to is, of course, those six words. you misogynistic son of a bitch. i generally agree when the doctor rails against humans being trigger-happy and xenophobic, but in this case the sycorax aren't like the pig in "aliens of london" or even the slitheen, they're colonialists! they rolled up on great britain and said "we own your planet, your minerals" like directly! they aren't refugees or harmless but weird. they're violent conquerors! they're just going to go genocide some other planet if allowed to leave! you JUST told harriet that all eyes are on earth as far as aliens go, and she's right, you're not usually around! she wasn't lashing out, she was making a measured and reasonable choice to protect earth both from the sycorax and for any other race that will see earth as easy pickings, as "children." and you deposed her through misogyny. oh i hate you. iirc he doesn't ever seem to openly realize that those six words are what bring the master into power in s3 or lead to the events of the s4 finale, but i could be wrong. i choose to be mad at him for now tho
oh actually last note. he looks dead sexy in the new fit but it's too normal, the doctor should look kind of shitty to me. ill-fitting or mismatched patterns or too many accessories or old-fashioned or some stupid gay bullshit no one would wear for real. fucking celery boutonnieres and patterned umbrellas and velvet suits. the doctor should look like he got dressed in the dark and doesn't own an iron
okay up and onward! there's kitty cat people in the next one :)
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18. Best Doctor monologue?
24. Best TARDIS Team?
31. Favourite episode ever?
45. Favourite series opening?
46. Favourite series finale?
51. Favourite monster/villain?
57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?
100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do?
WOW MORE QUESTIONS YAY!!
Okay some of these get looong so I'm gonna put them under a read more haha
18. Best Doctor monologue?
I answered every other question before this one because I honest to God cannot think of one! I mean I can remember plenty of monologues but there's never really been one that stands out to me to the point of being a favorite! I know this isn't the most interesting answer, but it's the truth at least? haha
24. Best TARDIS Team?
This is such an insanely tough questions because there are so so so many good TARDIS teams like come on! I mean 7 and Ace are just absolutely phenomenal, I adore them so much, 4 and Romana II were one of my first Classic Who TARDIS teams so I gotta show them some love, and I mean outside the TV show even you've got 6 and Evelyn or Warner!Doctor and Benny, they're all just so good! But, the TARDIS team I always think about, and never shut up about, is 12, Bill, Nardole, and Missy.
I just freaking love those three so much. They're energies work so well together and they just make me so happy and I would've watched so much more of them. I don't want to blabber for too long, but they really were just such a wonderful concoction of characters and varying dynamics.
31. Favourite episode ever?
AGAIN A VERY DIFFICULT QUESTION BECAUSE MY ANSWER CHANGES SO OFTEN okay I'm not going to take forever on this one and go with Shada. I love Douglas Adams, I love 4 and Romana II, I adore Professor Chronotis and his Type 12 TARDIS, the villain's outfits are hilarious, and the concept of Shada as a prison is so wonderful and it's such a shame that it hasn't been properly used in New Who (yes I know it was in Revolution of the Daleks but that was just a name drop it could've been any prison).
45. Favourite series opening?
Season 25 with Remembrance of the Daleks. What an episode! I know it's not a unique opinion but I absolutely love this episode and, while it's a shame it's not considered the official 25th anniversary episode, it does mean I get to say it's my favorite series opener because damn what a way to open the series! Apart from being an absolutely incredible story with some wonderful visuals, I think it also sets the tone for what 7's era really could be very well. Not to mention, the Imperial Daleks in Remembrance are my all-time favorite design. If you haven't, really look at the lights on the top of their domes in that one. They're so cool!! So unique!! Also, who doesn't love Ace beating the crap out of a Dalek?
46. Favourite series finale?
I mean New Who it has to be Bad Wolf/Parting of the Ways. The way it culminates so many different bits of Series One from Satellite Five to the heart of the TARDIS, it's all just really wonderful and you can tell that they took the time to make sure it all felt important and connected as a whole. On top of that, the performances are phenomenal all around, I mean obviously Eccleston, but Billie Piper and Camille Coduri knock it out of the freaking park in this one. The two scenes that will always give me chills are when Rose tells Jackie she was the blonde woman who held Pete when he died and Rose's freakout in the chip shop.
And, now that I'm really thinking about it, both episodes have some really funny jokes too?? I mean who can forget "did you hear a new pizza place just opened up?" "oh that's nice, what're they selling?" "Pizza." I MEAN COME ON! IT WASN'T EVEN THE FOCUS OF THAT MOMENT! THAT'S FUNNY!
51. Favourite monster/villain?
I feel like this is a super basic answer, and they've really not gotten a lot of great episodes for a while now, but I really do love the Cybermen. The concept of them just chills me to the bone and when they're done right they are REALLY done right. Just the idea that they don't believe they're evil and are, in fact, the next step in evolution, is so interesting and really sets them apart from races like the Daleks or the Sontarans. Not to mention the older voices from the 70s and 80s are very pleasing to me. I just love hearing them talk or do that scream they do when they're hit.
57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?
That's a really tough question!! From a writer's perspective, I think an important factor in making a monster/villain for Doctor Who is making them genuinely connected to the story. So many times, a villain/monster just feels like they're there because the writer's were told or felt like they needed to have a physical antagonist present and they just end up feeling bland.
Sure, there are some exceptions to this, but overall I feel like the best monsters/villains are ones that feel deeply engrained in the story and make an impact beyond just being a monster/villain for the Doctor to fight.
Apologies if that didn't make sense I'm kind of rambling and I just woke up about an hour ago.
100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do?
... I have written so many Doctor Who episodes I could make at least one full series at this point. Not a 10-episode series either, a full 13 episodes. I even wrote one as my final project for a spec script class my senior year of college. Got an A, so that was a pretty solid confidence boost!
#Thank you so much for the questions!!!#I didn't actually think anyone would ask anything this is great haha#rearranging-deck-chairs#sorry it took me so freaking long to answer!!!#I ramble a lot and these questions were some tough ones!!!
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Post #107: NM issues 59-61
Fall of the Mutants part 2! This is the smallest scale one and the one with the most tragic consequences. The New Mutants and Bird-Brain arrive on his island, where they're confronted by a whole lotta animal people. Bird-Brain gives them the burgers he brought, and they all dig in. Their human master watches on his hidden cameras and acts really evil. A lot of villains have been doing that lately, they used to come right out and monologue. He places a call to Cameron Hodge, who he's allied with in some mysterious way, and tells him to stay away from the island while he deals with these mutants. The other Ani-Mates finish the burgers and get suspicious of these human looking creatures, since the only human they've ever seen is their tormentor. They attack them, including Bird-Brain, who they think is a traitor, but Rahne transforms and that makes them pause. Back at the mansion, Berto and Warlock finally return in the middle of the night and wake up Max. He's angry they ran away but overjoyed they're back. But when they go to wake up the others to tell them the good news, they find them missing. On the island, the Ani-Mator (that's the evil guy) decides to start the testing and blasts out some hypnosound on the island speakers that summons all his creations, including Bird-Brain. Our kids go with him to get to the Ani-Mator and stop him. The first phase is a maze filled with traps and monsters, who subdue our heroes and take them to the Ani-Mator. Now it's time for his evil monologue, which is some deranged nonsense about how he's God and his creations are Adam and Eve, and he sees the outside world as the apple that will ruin their purity. He decides that for not killing the outsiders, all of Bird-Brain's friends are ruined, and he must destroy them all and start fresh.
He sends the New Mutants off with some of his loyal creations for experimentation. When one of them attacks Doug for speaking, Rahen is overcome with rage and transforms, attacking before being subdued. She's overcome with guilt for giving in to her animal violence, thinking it makes her an evil thing no better than any monster. The Ani-Mator decides he's also going to destroy his current batch of baby Ani-Mates and start over after dissecting the New Mutants, and he orders his creations to start killing them. Helpless and terrified, the captive New Mutants hope Max will come save them. Max, meanwhile, has flown off to the Hellfire Club to use their Cerebro, and orders Berto and Warlock to stay put. That lasts until they find the maps their friends used to plot their course, and they leave a note and fly off. On the island, the Ani-Mator gets a call from Hodge and a backstory dump. He was a doctor thrown in jail for unethical experiments until the Right broke him out. They set him up on the island and tasked him with figuring out how to destroy mutation. But since he's unhinged, he's instead spent all the money they give him to mutate animals. He tells Hodge that he'll kill the intruder mutants as soon as he finds them, when really he wants to replicate their powers for his own slaves. Hodge suspects he's hiding something and heads for the island. The Ani-Mator tells the New Mutants that he'll use their DNA to create New Ani-Mates with powers that will serve him as slaves when he rules the world. Dani uses an illusion to scare the monsters into breaking the glass cages the heroes are in, and they start fighting. Illyana, finally able to use her powers again, ports back to the school, which is of course empty now. But she just thinks Max doesn't care about them and ports back angry. They turn the tide and beat the Ani-Mator, and Doug shuts down his computers so he can't escape or destroy the facility. But then Hodge and the Right show up. They tranq the mutants and start killing the Ani-Mates. The surviving Ani-Mates flee and hide, but Bird-Brain finds them and encourages them to stand up for themselves and fight. They rescue the mutants, whose tranqs have already worn off I guess, and start battling the Right. Berto and Warlock show up and turn the tide in the heroes' favor. The Ani-Mator, who the Right had also taken captive, escapes and grabs a gun, hoping for vengeance on the mutants who ruined his plans. He takes a shot at Rahne, but Doug tackles her out of the way. She tells him to stay safe and hidden and runs off to fight someone else, not realizing that Doug took the bullet. Doug lays in the middle of the chaos bleeding out while the heroes finish off the Right and the Ani-Mator moves on to attack Bird-Brain. Bird-Brain defeats his former master and takes his weird headpiece thing, declaring himself the new leader of the island. Everyone celebrates until they see Doug lying there on the beach, dead. Illyana wants to kill the Ani-Mator, but Rahne begs her to be better than him, so she tosses the Ani-Mator into Limbo to be food for the demons as a compromise while Sam tells the Ani-Mates that Doug died for their freedom. What was briefly a celebration of victory is now a moment of grief and loss.
Even in their pain, the mutants don't get to rest, as one of the smile-face Right soldiers wakes up and starts shooting. Warlock grabs everyone he can and shields them, terrified to lose another friend. Illyana starts tossing every one of the soldiers into Limbo to be corrupted and transformed by the demon horde, and as she does so her demonic side comes out and transforms her appearance. Dani talks her down, telling her that part of her isn't who she is deep down and the New Mutants love her. The kids decide it's time to go back home, and bid a solemn farewell to Bird-Brain, who wants to stay on the island and make it a home for the Ani-Mates. Meanwhile, Max has arrived at the Hellfire Club, where the other Inner Circle members show him news footage of X-Factor fighting Apocalypse and revealing their secret and of the X-Men fighting dinosaurs in Dallas (we'll get to that part soon). But he doesn't care about any of that, only his students. Speaking of which, the kids all split off to deal with their grief in their own ways. Illyana and Warlock wait with Doug's body, and she confides in him about how she needs Max to come back soon, since he's the only one who's ever made her feel safe in Limbo. I knew that was an important moment for her a few issues back, but I didn't realize how important. Also: Illyana and Warlock! the most underrated duo on the team. He's really good for her; he's so unconditionally loving, and also so weird that he makes her feel normal. Rahne runs off crying and Sam follows her. She blames herself for Doug's death, but Sam says he blames himself. Although he's coleader of the team, Sam usually lets Dani take the driver's seat. But one area where he won't let anyone else take the lead is protecting the team. Rahne tells him it's not his fault, which helps her realize it's not hers either. She tells him how important the team is to her, since she's never had any siblings, and Sam tells her that as of this moment he's officially adopting her as his little sister. It's a very sweet moment for both of them. Berto and Dani are heading to the phone to call Max, and she's filling him in on the adventures they had while he was gone. When he picks up the phone to call, he can't do it. It took him a whole miniseries to forgive himself for hurting Sam, and now he's blaming himself for Doug's death because he was the reason Warlock wasn't there to be his armor. Berto collapses to the floor moaning about how Xavier didn't trust him and Max doesn't like him and he deserves that from both of them, and Dani tells him he's being a bitch and he needs to snap out of it. She tells him she should have stopped the mission, but she didn't want to disappoint the younger kids so she agreed to it and Doug payed the price. It's a rare moment where Dani drops her walls completely. Even though she takes charge naturally, there's a part of her that's still terrified of disappointing her friends and becoming an outcast like she was before she learned to control her powers. It's an interesting parallel to Sam and Rahne, and good reminder that even though Dani and Berto act tough, they're also kids and need love and support as much as anyone. Everyone's feeling a little bit better than before and reunites in the kitchen so they can all call Max together, but then they see a breaking news story on the TV- the X-Men fighting in Dallas. Max shows up right then, and when he sees Doug dead he has a breakdown, yelling at the kids for disobeying him and getting their friend killed. They try to turn his attention to the TV, saying the X-Men need their help, but he tells them he refuses to let them leave the mansion or use their powers again. Illyana tries to teleport to Dallas but finds a magical barrier keeping her out. Max tells the kids that humans killed Doug, and the X-Men may be dying trying to save humans, and he's done with Xavier's dream. Illyana says she was wrong about him and runs off to the attic, and the others follow. Max is left alone with Doug's body and falls down weeping.
(Stupid new Tumblr paragraph limit. This is still about issue 61.) He feels trapped in a loop; the Mutant Registration Act reminds him of the years before the Holocaust and he doesn't know how to tell Doug's parents that he failed their son. And now his students, the only thing left that he cares about, hate him because they don't have that perspective. Up in the attic, the New Mutants decide that it's up to them to carry on Xavier's dream in their own way, and they assemble their own new costumes from the mix and match parts in storage. Thank God, cause their original graduation costumes sucked and these are much better. They think Max has failed, they still don't trust X-Factor, and they fear the X-Men might be dead. But Doug's death robbed them of any innocence they still had, and they decide it's time for them to save the world.
The Ani-Mator was such an interesting villain for this arc. He and the Right were opposing forces both trying to destroy the mutants and Ani-Mates caught in the middle. His whole thing was that he thought he was God and the mutants were the serpent trying to corrupt his slaves, but really he was the serpent and the kids were Adam and Eve. They went to the island as hopeful dreamers confident they could save the Ani-Mates, and were confronted with the harsh reality of evil. They've fought gods and aliens, but what killed Doug was a human with a gun. And even now, they have hope for a better tomorrow- they just know that the only way to get there is to fight for it. There's really not much more to say; unlike the X-Factor story, which tied together a lot of themes, this story was mostly character moments, which I talked about as they came up. One meta observation: Simonson came in to fill in until Claremont came back, and she immediately wrote Amara out of the book and killed Doug. I don't know that Claremont really had anything planned for Amara, but I know he was gonna have Doug infected with the T/O virus, and he's already dropped some hints. That's just kinda funny, and I'm surprised Claremont wasn't more pissed. I love Doug, and I miss him, but I think he was the right choice to die. Amara didn't have his innocence, which is what made it so powerful, and it would have been a really unsatisfying finish to Xuan's story. But Doug, who came into this life excited to be a hero, and who was told over and over that he didn't have the power necessary to be one, died saving his friend and freeing a civilization from slavery. Also, my absolute favorite stuff with Doug is the Zeb Wells run, which wouldn't be possible if he hadn't died here, so it'll be good for him in the end. Now, on to the final prong of the Fall in Uncanny.
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Beautiful/Trivial
Sweet, aching sadness. Bitter, snarling anger. Gentle piano notes being smashed to a frantic crescendo. Screeching guitar. Whispering. Insidious.
Jesse Daniel Edwards could curate the soundtrack to the chemically drenched sock hop I endeavor to conjure on my depression-mandated Ketamine trips.
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My first impression of him was Little Steven (I only know about Little Steven because of Rattle and Hum, ‘’… a friend of ours, Little Steven, was putting together a record of artists against APAR-TIGHT” – preach, Brother Bono) meets Harry Connick Jr… crooning away as the apocalypse begins and the bombs start to fall.
Quiet, gentle bombs, please. Last November when I wandered into Salim Nourallah’s listening room – Galactic Headquarters— to see Jesse and Landon Pigg, I was hung over. I don’t drink. I get Ketamine infusions. Better living through chemical intervention. I overcome my fear of needles long enough to get some sunshine mainlined directly to my brain. Turns down my self-hating, self -destructive monologue long enough I can function again… for awhile. But I’m left dried out. Aching. Low lights, friends, music at Salim’s seemed like just what the doctor ordered.
I have since journeyed down an Insta-YouTube rabbit hole for more information regarding what I saw that night. Jesse seems to have a lot in common with Salim. Each contains multitudes. 10 different kinds of rock star wrapped up in a quiet, unassuming, crazy-talented package. “Little Steven” Jesse is just one face. There appears to be Mellencamp(“Jack and Diane were such fine examples” he sings in “The Future Has Been Canceled”)/Springsteen tattooed, mullet-rocker resplendent in wife beater (please, if there’s a more PC way to refer to those shirts now… I don’t know what it is) and jeans, a Hawaiian shirt and visor wearing “Jimmy Buffet” Jesse who – carried away by the moment -- throws himself on the ground and writhes with his guitar.
In every single video I found of Jesse, Landon is there. Buttoned up shirt. Beating the hell out of tambourine, smiling like a (if there were such a thing) long haired Mormon missionary (I am a lapsed Mormon, I can say stuff like that.) I don’t know these gents other than a few words exchanged at that first show and the occasional DM I will send Jesse’s way on Instagram, but I can only assume Jesse and Landon are best friends. If you let me imagine it too much, I will make a Pixar, friends-til-the-end movie out of their perceived relationship. Brothers together in the cause and service of ROCK. It makes a nice mental picture. I like it when people care for each other.
The other half of Black Lodge, my other half, the light chevron pattern to my dark (aka “Doug”): he doesn’t care. He will listen to music and remove it from the maker. He barely listens to the words. His heart is guided by the pure musicality (this is how he appreciates Frank Zappa where I cannot get past the ridiculous words long enough to even get to what may or may not be brilliantly executed music.) He doesn’t care if the artist is a good person or if the band members were getting along when they recorded such-and-such. He appreciates the product.
I need to know the product was arrived at through pure intentions. I like it when you are a good person, I like the band mates are best friends, I like my performers having fun, experiencing joy. That’s just me.
I like it when your lyrics make me feel something. Even if it’s sadness, anger, impotence.
“I don’t wanna do it anymore/You can’t make me do it anymore/God, don’t make me do it anymore”
Do what? Everything.
Wake up. Doom scroll. Wonder. Worry.
“The more you care, the more they take.”
Watch society collapse. Hope you can scratch out a little life for yourself, a corner of happiness. Keep that happiness safe from the onslaught of daily soul sucking reality. A rose under glass from the Disney childhood all the Millennials are trying to hold on to, keep safe and untarnished.
“I hate me, but I can’t change who I am.”
My high school ring (class of 99) says “Life on the edge of time.” The last analog generation with vague memories of being sent outside to play, riding bikes, passing notes instead of texting, failing a grade at school instead of getting shot to death there.
We started life watching war on TV. How is it reality where you can get bored with war and change the channel? What is this? Where are my cartoons? (“The holocaust is live on channel threeee”) As an elementary school class project, we wrote to Desert Storm soldiers. Waco, 09/11… the revolutions have all been televised and we are soul-numb and bored.
Every dream our parents took for granted is now out of our reach. Education, a home to call your own. Tell me how much hope *you* have managed to hold on to under these circumstances. We are racing to see if we finish ourselves off before the planet shakes us off like a bad cold.
“Love is all you need/But love won’t stop bombs/or pull the nails out of your palms…” This line stings like a sore spot in your mouth you can’t stop tonguing. It hurts, but in a good way. This line puts JDE on the opposite end of the spectrum from Salim Nourallah (my friend and the musician previous to Jesse to evoke such a visceral response in me musically) Salim Nourallah whose music is hope[…”ful melancholy,” a line I didn’t pen, but I keep returning to in regards to Salim’s music as it is, for the most part, a perfect description of why his songs appeal to me so much.]
Salim is hope. Jesse is hope lost. As a 42-year-old (elder millennial) major depressive, I am both of these things. Bitterly attractive dichotomy. Salim’s music is the feeling I aspire to when the chemicals are still working. Jesse’s music is the chemicals wearing off, realization, dull horror. Reality.
What did Cervantes say? “Too much sanity may be madness, and maddest of all – to see life as it is and not as it should be.” I like a little of both.
I feel like Jesse does too and Landon’s presence at his side feels like confirmation of that.
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Landon is a beautiful musician in his own right. Sweet, wistful. A touch of Eliot Smith. A little Iron and Wine. Master of what everyone aspires to: the elusive EAR WORM. Listen to ‘Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop.’ You know that song. I promise you. I know that song. I was able to mouth all the words as he began singing it… the infuriating thing is: I don’t know HOW I know it. I played it later for my mother. She knows it too. She does not know HOW she knows it either! Google says it was probably either an AT&T commercial or an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Both of which I’m sure I’ve been exposed to… but not in enough quantities to know all the words. I remain… befuddled.
Landon was also in Whip It – that earlier 2000s movie I was briefly obsessed with, decided I would learn roller derby even though I could NOT skate to save my life. This brief obsession led me to my first broken bone at the auspicious age of at least 30: my tail bone. I broke my tailbone for this movie. I’m an idiot… but it’s a good movie.
I forgot to rewatch it before I saw the performance. Went back and watched it later: yep. There he is. Right there. Pretty big part too. Huh. Good going, sir.
At first, I was nervous I would wax poetic about Jesse for pages and then go, “Landon sings pretty. He’ll be there too.” But then I relearned what I found out months ago: Landon has, among other things, 406THOUSAND Spotify listeners (several times the population of the city I am currently sitting in while I write this) and Jesse has… 106.
Something tells me Landon won’t mind that I was a little heavy handed in Jesse’s direction.
(But yes, he’s lovely. He has nice hair, sings like an angel and is witty to boot. The “champagne lady with the pickle-back” sends her regards.)
All of this to say, the boys will be back at Galactic (Dallas) this Friday and Austin on Saturday. Links to follow.
Don’t miss this. I designed stickers for both performers… come get some. You’ll love them, I promise. There’s no place like Galactic (Austin is good too, don’t get me wrong, but Galactic has Salim and all my friends, I’m biased.)
#jessedanieledwards#landonpigg#fallinginloveinacoffeeshop#indie music#austin tx#dallas tx#galactic#listening room#singer#songwriter#whip it#millennials#future#disillusionment#hope#hopeless#salim nourallah#guitar player#piano#pianist#nashville#live music#support musicians#better living through chemistry#biting off the hand#roller derby#smallvenue#saxon pub#american dreaming#Youtube
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orphan 55 salt commentary
this one is pretty short and not that good. i watched this one over the weekend when it was hot, so i wasn’t fully concentrating, sorry about that lads. i could watch it again and try and add more but i’d rather just post it so i can move on to other episodes.
i would say there must have been production issues for the reasoning why this episode is so bad but nope that’s probably just the quality of the ch*bnall era.
there’s no cold open for this episode?
‘might get you out your mardy mood’ don’t fans of this era ever get tired of being told everything instead actually seeing it. it is honestly such lazy writing to just tell your audience everything instead actually putting in the work/ effort to actually show this.
honestly the utter speedrunning to the plot is just..?
the prosthetics/ make up for hyph3n is so bad, who greenlit this?
what would this episode be without the benni memes.
the scene where ryan gets the hopper virus happens so quick and it’s played off as comedy? like that doesn’t sit well with me. especially the bit about hallucinations. that just flat out isn’t funny at all.
‘does this usually work?’ damn thats so harsh bella, ryan is literally just making small talk.
the pacing of this episode is wild.
‘i need you here to help me understand this place, not out there shooting at things’ i feel like the doctor’s pacifism just goes straight to ‘don’t even defend yourself’.
nevi has such a bad wig, pet peeve of mine is when actors wear really cheap/ bad wigs of bright colours instead of just dying their hair.
graham’s comic relief is one of the only bearable things in this episode.
‘they’ve built a wall all around this hotel’ why does yaz just come in to repeat dialogue we’ve literally just heard? it’s bad enough hearing the exposition once, let alone twice.
i don’t understand why they ALL have to go outside to rescue benni, it’s not like we hear them all volunteer and surely staying in the resort is safer?
yes yes capitalism bad, but i don’t think terraforming to make a planet habitable again isn’t 100% a bad idea. the morality in this era is so black and white, god forbid we ever explore morality in shades of grey, nooo because then we might actually have some kind of commentary to make 🙄.
has kane actually said or done anything to indicate she’s motivated by money/ profit or that she wants to own orphan 55? this feels like the doctor just said this and everyone rolled with it (literally just sixth doctor pointing ‘villain!’).
and when did they say she was like in charge of the hotel? isn’t she just head of security?
honestly the doctor talks so much i wouldn’t be surprised if jodie got paid by the line.
‘we are driving straight into their territory’ yes because you asked! and kane explicitly wanted to abort the mission, why are you acting surprised?
the plot of this episode going out the compound just to go back to the compound is so weird. why not just write a base under siege and stay in the hotel?
(from a writing perspective) every decision in this story baffles me. who would write like this and think it was good. was it heavily edited? who greenlit this story and thought it was good enough to broadcast?
the bella revelation is very weird and pretty much comes out of left field.
bella’s plan is very excessive just because she’s mad at her mum for leaving her. like sure be mad, but jumping straight to im going to blow up the place you work and try and kill you, is a big jump no? maybe if more was given to her character to explore this then it probably be okay but asking for characterisation in a ch*bnall episode is like impossible.
this episode has like the most unnatural dialogue in the era.
why the doctor monologues to the fam and audience that global warming bad is just awful and patronising. many things to say but i’ll just shorten it down to again how this era misses the social commentary by a mile. global warming is not the cause of the individual rather the systematic structures in place which priorities profit and power over the lives of people and the planet. the audience watching dw will already know ‘global warming bad’ (yes even the little kids watching this) and so you are just preaching to the choir without adding any substantial additional commentary. the average dw viewer will have little to no power and i doubt those in power with the ability to change climate change in any substantial way are watching dw. again the individualistic blaming of climate change is the same strain as ‘the systems aren’t the problem, it’s those who exploit and use the systems’. the social commentary here sits on the fence by saying the obvious ‘global warming bad’ but is too scared to take any radical response on how to address it i.e. revolution. the sci-fi genre has always made social commentary, but good writers know how to incorporate this into a story with nuance and ch*bnall era is arguably centrist at best and makes no effort to make any additional commentary besides the obviously because ch*bnall thinks the audience is dumb or something.
can’t believe ed hime was gonna write an episode for flux, imagine actually wanting to show your face again in dw after penning that episode, how would you not be embarrassed?
concluding thoughts: the pacing is terrible, the side characters are barely characterised, the characters make stupid decisions. the twists of bella being the villain and orphan 55 being earth are just boring and unengaging. the episode is a chore to watch. a very bad episode, wouldn’t be surprised if this episode was either a first draft or had been heavily edited/ meddled with from its original story. oh to hear the absolute tea of the behind the scenes drama of this era.
you know that thing I said about running out of patience. yeah i ran out.
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Chapter 4: Dear Billy
Yea so Eddie is nowhere in this chapter so to relieve your depression of this episode, here's some Eddie and Mack being besties and just a short chapter full of Eddie figuring out he's likes Steve
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(Original dialogue)
"Seriously? A catchphrase?"
"It's now or never Ed, let me have my moment."
They're in position to flee and possibly attack, but no one came to the boat house. They were close once, but just left for some reason? Jocks really are stupid, huh?
After about half an hour they give up and enjoy a meal of canned ravioli together.
"So we're just gonna ignore the little moments between you and mister I Spend Hours On My Hair there?"
Eddie, almost choking, quickly shakes his head trying to be in denial of his feelings.
"What moment? There wasn't a moment? Why would there be a moment?"
Mack let's out a laugh at Eddie being oblivious. He sooo had feelings for Steve!
"Doctor Love isn't my favourite KISS song for nothing Eds. Tell me about it, I can help!"
"You? Help me with the feelings I have for Steve according to you? God you should be a comedian!"
Mack rolls her eyes, wondering if she should tell Eddie about what she saw. I mean, they're already getting hunted down, why keep secrets?
"Steve was kind of staring at you for the whole time he was here. He never laughed at my genius jokes, he just stared at you and blushed when you looked at him! I swear to God do you need some glasses because I would personally craft them for you!"
"Oh shut up, you're talking out your ass."
Running a hand over her face, she gives up on trying to convince him. Guess he'll have to deal with it alone.
"It's your loss dude, just wait and see how much he cares for you."
...
(More original dialogue Eddie is just nowhere in this episode I'm sorry)
Mack is being Mack, just practicing stabbing some jock and catching a phrase.
"Eat shit and live, Jason!"
"What kind of catchphrase is that?"
Mack hold a hand to her chest in hurt, how DARE he not get te reference.
"Sleepaway camp? Eddie you are a disappointment to the horror community. Judy was so hot in that movie, definitely deserved her death tho."
"What the fu- she was killed by having a curling iron stuck up her vagina, how did she deserve that!"
"She was a bitch, I mean who calls a girl a 'carpenters dream'? Any who, I need to get back to catchphrase thinking, you go have your little gay crisis about Steve, I won't bother you."
Eddie sits back against a wall, actually taking up Mack's offer of having the crisis thing. It's obvious to anyone who has eyes and a tiny bit of street knowledge to know he was gay, but to be in love with Steve? King of Hawkins? Sure, Steve is a great looking guy, great being an understatement, but he wouldn't like Eddie. Freak Eddie.
"Maybe you're right Mack"
"What that you're a disappointment to the horror community?"
"About the Steve thing Mack! I like Steve, there I said it! Happy now"
Mack throws away the knife and goes to sit next to Eddie, putting her hand on his shoulder for comfort.
"Look Ed, al joking aside, which is a real struggle for my to do, I really am happy. You need something to hold onto right now, and Steve definitely wants to hold onto you. It's obvious he likes you, you just needs to... shoot your shot, he definitely won't."
Eddie looks up at Mack, a slight hint of sadness in his eyes.
"Why wouldn't he? Is he afraid of me or something?"
"He's afraid of his feelings for you I think, maybe he doesn't even know what his sexuality is. And like, he seems like a guy with the least confidence ever. But look at you Ed! Never before has anyone given a dramatic monologue on top of a table on a high school canteen, and yet you did it. You got this man. Show them Eddie the Freak is just a soft good old fashioned lover boy."
Eddie chuckles softly at the Queen reference and thinks about the serious part of what she just said. Maybe he should ask Steve out! And with that newfound confidence, he does have something to look forward too now.
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You know the deal by now, please let me know what you think about this chapter and give me any feedback or criticism you have. Thanks for reading :)
Missed the other chapters? Here you go :>
Wanna continue reading? Enjoy! :)
#st oc#oc#dustin henderson#strangerthings 4#stranger things#rewrite#steve harrington × eddie munson#they are so gay omfg#gay#robin buckley#eddie munson#steve harrington
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stranger things spoilers under the cut, just typing up my live reaction notes for my friend since they're illegible but if you wanna read it too, go wild.
numbered based on the page i used writing it. the first three are so short bc they were on post-its
001
"what have you done?" first of all, you're welcome, "papa," i killed that guy for you!
"we need music!" "this is music!" lol
letting nancy go just to torment the child who you lost a fight to, vecna? lol. lmao. but also thanks bc no one could find any songs she likes
"i did lose you. we had a funeral." "anybody show?" OUCHIE!! dont make me cry this early in the episode!!
BRUH? THE DEMOGORGON ON THE OPERATING / DISSECTION TABLE??
how did one bullet mercy kill it?
002
BRUH × 2 ??
was that the fucking?? mind flayer??
everyone wanted byler but they said naur <3 mileven <3 (i thought this might be the explanation for mike's weirdness ... but ... i had to hope ...)
what on EARTH is this painting if he's showing it now [keysmash here]
SORRY I LAUgHED,, ITS a good painting but not at all the style / skill i expected,,, aaaaaa
MIKE HYPING IT UP RIGHT AFTER I WROTE THAT — gay behavior still
ok ... the way mike is looking at will is STILL FRUITY ... bi mike canon
003
"when you're different" will comes out bingo square? also mike still looking at him with the most ♥ eyes
"sometimes you feel like a mistake" OUCHIE? will my gay baby
ah the classic "i was actually talking about me when i said ur gf needs you"
johnathan doesnt need to be sober to see what happening there. my guy knows. ally ♥
"you eased her into it nice and gentle just like we talked about, not ominous at all! /s" LMFAO BRUH. get em
"vecna-slash-henry-slash-one" robin referring to him the same way we do lol
004
also lets see if the "eddie is a number" theory is confirmed or denied here lmao. now would be the time, it's a reach but if they were gonna do it he'd have lost memories (and awareness of any powers) for sure
"i survived before, i can survive again" not when they've confirmed a major character death, max!!
the fact that eleven is just. finding out about all of this. all at once.
"it's not exactly a car, steve ;3" (← is standing too close to him)
whats the point of the mask if no one else has one on and ur doin this in broad daylight
eddie hot wiring car monologue iconic. also "i'm just starting this sucker. harrington's got her. don't ya, big boy?" (leans in) HELLO?? GAY?? FRUITY BEHAVIOR?? just kiss him already smh.
wait. i forgot eddie was wanted for murder. thats the point of the mask. im dumb
hope they can return that RV later lmfao
Papa back to be fucking cryptic again ← tried to draw an eyeroll emoji and failed. but i roll my eyes 🙄
"you cane to me broken. and you've learned to walk again" ok ableism. not surprising but. lmao
ok no offense steve but you saying you want kids has made me like you less (/j) my guy you already have kids they're in the RV with you lmfao. but ok truly why would they make him say all this. he's gonna die isn't he. oh god.
LMFAO same nancy. six kids steve? ur not gonna be carrying those kids.
"if only i had some practice" lmao yeah. but! these kids are not siblings. and as everyone knows, siblings will kill each other over the slightest provocation.
005
yeah they're setting up steve × nancy again for sure. hrm.
"it was a time i was the happiest" "was i there" "thats presumptuous of you" ehe. cute
prediction: vecna doesn't even go after max again. that'd be fucked up and ruin their plan.
now, robin finding out her crush has a bf could go one of two ways. but the way her crush looks back at her, im banking on the second way,
god i hate that fucking guy (← chrissy's bf)
argyle walking off on his own is gonna be the major character death /j
im gonna kill "doctor" brenner with my bare hands
the fact that el didnt immediately kill dr brenner with her bare hands is astounding
nvm she tried but he definitely deserved it
"in the face of the world ending, the stakes of my love life feel spectacularly low."
i forgot to write it down earlier but i love that steve was like. i need this jacket actually
[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING]
me caring WAY more about el hugging will than i did about el hugging mike. i was like "ok" but then ( T - T)/
i swear to god if he survives this i will rage. can dr brenner count as the major character death?
him laying in that dramatic ass pose while the camera swirls around him. lol. lmao.
will asking el "who's going to die?" and then everyone getting a dramatic close up. rude tbh.
— 800 ǝposıdǝ ɟo puǝ —
006
ok i made myself a sad microwave quesadilla let's get into it
[DELICATE, YEARNING MUSIC PLAYING]
"i needed to lose weight anyway" hopper im gonna make you eat one thousand snacks
"what does he want us to do, applaud?" robin please he might die (but then again, so might you)
tbh i wish i was being queerbaited more by this show. how funny would it have been if nancy and steve had that little moment immediately followed by a robin × nancy and steve × eddie moment. all shot exactly the same. i can have a little queerbait. as a treat.
the zoom in on nancy does have me concerned. what if vecna does go after her rather than max? to be like "ok but did you tell the child who beat me in a fight what i did? no??" while everyone, including el, is trying to protect max?
EL'S DOODLE OF MAX IN THE CONDENSATION I'M CRYINGG
i like that they didnt really mention the writing rather than talking part of the plan but it was obviously settled on at some point. it makes sense so he can't hear them on the other side
oh my GOD blonde guy just go to therapy you aren't batman you won't avenge her
i hope he crawls into the upside down or gets vecna'd or something smh
breaking back into where you just broke out is actually a perfect plan bc like. who tf would go back?
trading a single joint for access to a kitchen and 600lbs of salt? iconic.
WHYS HE MAKING A PIZZA HELP. ITS SO DRAMATIC
007
"are you ready for the most metal concert in the history of the world?" hell yiss
"right out of the gate i'm super confident. but i'm also, like, an idiot. which is just a brutal combination" DO NOT BE FORESHADOWING DO NOT BE FORESHADOWING DO NOT BE —
oh that speech for sure means he's either gonna die or at least almost die again oh noe
i had another theory that they'd kill hopper for realsies while he's still in russia. but i am. hoping thats not the case either. maybe it'll be murray or something idk. i fear.
"that hero, where is he now? because i don't see him." ha get em (yuri)
HELP the little stick figure drawing max made ... so cute ... please don't die
if el says i love you to mike rn and he still doesn't say it back ... here's how byler can still win /j (but fr my guy better say it back or else)
jonathan if you make "remember when you got a lego construction guy stuck up your nose" into a metaphor for will being gay im going. to scream.
im sorry for laughing at will getting emotional about that speech. because we understand how its meant to be taken. but he's crying because once, there was a lego man in his nose,
ok fr vecnas gonna get someone else what if its. fucking. el. oh god i don't know
max, who among us hasn't imagined their abusers dying, really? its fine bestie
ok i cannot have another passively sewer slidal character actually die horribly and violently ok do not kill max i swear to god don't
eddie's right this is the most metal concert in the history of the world
hey whos playing the drums tho?
008
if these basketball bastards hurt her (← erica) ill kill them with my bare hands
i know its for the drama of it all but he didn't actually have to play the guitar well
"MOST! METAL! EVER!" ok true even tho they can't actually tell anyone about it ... pretty badass
rip to literally everyone in russia tbh. mindflayers in everyone now
aw they had robin and nancy hold hands for one (1) second. they listened to me about queerbaiting me more. thanks!
poor robin tho bc same. balance hard
gooey balloons
ill kill this dude myself. pulling a gun on lucas?? fr?? vecna here's ur free kill buddy
i appreciate they still allow joyce to be upset / haunted by bob's death. esp when putting her into an incredibly similar situation. like they don't just ignore that it happened ykwim
AAAAA NAUR NOT THE FRUITY FOUR ALL IN PERIL AT ONCE (plus dustin) D:
EDDIE NO!! LEAVE!! i mean like i want the others to be ok and maybe you could save them but DON'T FUCKING DIE MAN!!
EL'S GONNA KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS AGAIN, VECCKY BOY!! "Hi."
OH Dustin for sure broke something on that fall oh noe. once again my boy better not die
EDDIE i am begging you to not die for no fucking reason right now
"i'm real" (elmax moment) "i piggiebacked from a pizza dough freezer." "what."
"if you touch her again. i will kill you. again." get em
update it was his leg dustin PLEASE do not die. also if eddie was a number now would definitely be the time to reveal it (← grasping at straws because i don't want him to die)
ur really gonna put el in the jesus pose rn
009
"Papa made you into this" nah he killed his family before any of that shit tbh. like. oddly enough im speaking in dr brenners defense here henry was very much a fucked up little guy before all that, and then like no offense el bc you didn't mean to but you very much did send him to the upside down and that made him all gooey and fucked up. but like odly enough this one's not (entirely) on brenner
"he did not make me into this. you did." ok but take responsibility for your actions henry! you killed your family! likely at a similar age to eleven when she whooped your ass in that fight!
henry mindflayer theory confirmed ahaha i was right!! i was right!!
YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR OWN DIMENSION HENRY!! YOU COULD HAVE REMADE THAT INTO "SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL" YOU FUCKER!! ILL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!!
yay murray flamethrower but like is eddie ok tho like is eddie alright
fr tho can vecna count as the major character death? since they confirmed he's been fucking shit up the whole time? and season five is just vibes? a whole season of epilogue? can we do that is that allowed?
ALL THIS [EPIC MUSIC PLAYING] STUFF HAPPENING BUT WE HAVENT SEEN EDDIE MY BOY
listen. i knew it might be eddie ok. but i didn't want to believe it. im hurt
if they kill max too im gonna riot don't you FUCKING DARE
010
im fr they better let her just live and be blind we did NOT go through all of this just for them to take her away tooo
yes. resurrect her. you are a god el. do it
DONT "TWO DAYS LATER" ME RIGHT NOW!! NOT AFTER ELMAX FRIENDSHIP MONTAGE!! NOT AFTER YOU KILLED EDDIE
"near-unprecedented scale" near-unprecedented? that shit split the world into chunks! this kind of reporting is why people don't take covid seriously anymore smh
the way they give hope for max then take it away is so fucked up (but i am keeping it)
charlie (my partner) came out for a soda just to see me weeping and sniveling like a little bitch about the blorbos from my shows
(at least eddie put on the most metal concert. at least max was in lucas' arms.)
the show gives me a sprinkle of joy (the fruity ... three :c ... volunteering) and follows it up with some actual queer hope to salve my emotional wounds.
just two autistic wlw so i stop crying
NVM IT WAS ONLY THE SHORTEST REPRIEVE
011
ouchie
"I wish everyone had gotten to know him. really know him. because they would have loved him, mr. munson." we did. we did love him.
ok second confirmation that i was right and didnt misinterpret that sequence, it really was henry (fucking henry, man) pulling the strings the whole time. fucked up. i hope will gets to kill him with his bare hands
mike's hand on will's shoulder: here's how byler can still win /j
i just realized will is gonna see hopper again. here come the water works
AH i thought that car engine rev was them but its scary mystery car help
max :c
IT WAS THEM. OH.
el and joyce hug c':
"Your hair!" "My hair? Your hair!" i am crying to this dialog.
"I kinda stole your look, kid." "BITCHIN'" (← crying)
mike and hop enemies to acquaintances arc
WILL. ALSO THE PARTICLES AAA
DEATH. DECAY. WITHERING. ... HENRY. FUCKER.
#holy shit i finally finished typing it all out#clearly i have a lot of thoughts#also some nuances were lost in translation like how absolutely insane my handwriting got during some parts#stranger things#stranger things spoilers#spoilers#txtly
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