#god blink 182 that is a mood
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WAIT WHAT THE FRICK IM 23????
.....how the hell did I forget my own age
#🎶nobody likes you when youre 23🎶#god blink 182 that is a mood#i do not feel 23#feel like everyoje my age is ahead of me#most of my school friends completed uni within the past few years#of coirse they did they wrre really smart#i miss them#anyway#and im still trying to get....#is it 'getting better' if ive been messed up for as long as incan remember#whoa i got distracted#sleep#time#hopefully#please let me feel better now that ive got my medw again
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Crk Thoughts: 1 dozen bcs it’s been so long (since I’ve last seen my son)
Does,,, does anyone even talk like this?? This is the kinda speech you’d see in an advertisement
:D
(why is it impossible to describe this face with emoticons?? You want me to use emojis?? What is this, Facebook?)
Gingerbrave speaking facts this time
DIDN’T YOU SEE THEM LIKE ALL TH WAY BACK IN CHP 13 WDYM “who are you”
Also AGAIN WITH BLINKING??? At some point I’m gonna reach 182 blinking screenshots
Villain moment (holly heckerdoodle he said The Thing)
I forgot what I was gonna say for this one so,,,
Does he actually say that he was responsible for the king’s “death”
Edit: GODDAMNIT MORE BLINKING?? That BETTER BE custard’s not-blinking sprite
Oooooooo BURRRRRRN?!
(God of desserts?? Cookie religion moment?)
Priest (singular)?? Either a mistranslation or we are being Heavily Underestimated
Gingerbrave is such a mood
This has been yet again, another of sun/canyon’s crk thoughts. Next up, baker’s dozen!
#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#dark cacao kingdom#affogato cookie#cookie run kingdom spoilers#sun’s crk thoughts#might change my alias to Lizard tho
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15, 30 ,47
15. Favorite Quote?
"I dont want to kill anyone. I dont like bullies. I dont care where theyre from." - Steve Rogers 🥰🥰
30. Favorite band?
OOOOOF. thats a tough one
God damn. I like a lot of music, but if we're talking band specific, then I really enjoy the classics like Blink 182, Simple Plan, Sum 41. Fall out boy. I also like Bowling For Soup and Wheezer! Good Charlotte.. Green Day... Those are my kinda loves from when I was younger that I still listen to. But I have to be in a certain mood lmao I like a lot of different type of music so it all depends on my mood ☺️
47. Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
LOUD. Noise cancelling headphones (note: NOT earbuds, hate those) or nothing. My headphones are my favorite accessory lmaoo
Thank you so much for asking cutie!! ☺️🥰🤭
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going from 212 by azealia banks to i miss you by blink 182 on a playlist is such a fuckin mood shift my god
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Odd numbers
JESUS JUST A FEW HUH hang on.
1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? YES
3. Have you taken someones virginity? oH GOD, Attempted. TMI it just.. was not going in, pre-heated the oven n all that jazz but I think she was just super super nervous so we just cuddled.
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Oui.
7. What happened tonight? It is 15:03 so I'll have to let u know later
9. Is confidence cute? Yeah, Like im p shy mostly so having someone who is confident I can lean on in social stuffs etc is always nice
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? A lot, ngl most of my friends consider me their like "gay bestfriend". I even get invited to the girls night lmao.
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Sleep.
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yes
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? couple of my pals, all of tumblr and my sister.
19. Have you had sex today? NO IM FUMING.
21. Are you in a good mood? yEAH IT'S SUNNY, BEEN OUT, EATING PIZZA
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? I actually do not know.
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Say it should've been me.
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Nah like, i have a v sarcastic sense of humour so I'd need it to be able to bounce back.
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Nugget/Jasper
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Nah, they make work bearable.
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?9/10 times im drinking it, it has alcohol in it.
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Not really?
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Uhm, I think you can be instantly attracted to someone and their "vibe" but LOVE idk man thats a tricky one.
39. Who was the last person you danced with? Honestly no idea.
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? uhmmmm. last week?
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Have u met me ofc.
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Nah
47. Who was the last person to call you? Uhhh Emma I think
49. Do you dance in the car? How tf u meant to dance in a car
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Don't think i ever had tbh
53. Is Christmas stressful? Yes. I work in retail
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Oooo, cherry perhaps.
57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah I've seen some weird ass shit ngl
59. Take a vitamin daily? no
61. Wear a bath robe? Always naked.
63. First concert? blink-182 (ofc) Brixton 2014!
65. Nike or Adidas? Vans
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Uhhh nuts.
69. Ever take dance lessons? Nah
71. Can you curl your tongue? Oui
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Ooof. probably? been a long time.
75. Do you study better with or without music? With
77. Ever been in love? Oui
79. What was the last concert you saw? Simple Plan in London
81. Tea or coffee? Neither because I'm weird.
83. Can you swim well? Uhhh if my life depends on it, probably not.
85. Are you patient? to an extent.
87. Ever won a contest? Don't think so no.
89. Which are better black or green olives? Both belong in the bin, I said what I said.
91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room/cosy room.
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Blink-182 – One More Time…
It’s February 2023, 3:08 PM. Phone buzzes. Unknown number. Local area code.
”Tate, this still you?”
I’m thinking, “I can ignore this, right?” I almost always ignore these. But there’s something in the familiarity of the phrasing that picks at a scab in my brain. A small circle of people in my life have ever called me Tate. Most of them were from my childhood neighborhood. None of whom I’ve spoken to in over a decade. The silence between us is not due to any real falling out but a byproduct of the stretching of time that turns brothers into strangers.
It’s September 1997, 6:45 AM. I’m 14 years old and panicking. I’m about to start my first year of high school, and I am fucking terrified. Middle school was rough. And standing there alone in my parent’s basement has my skin feeling like a hand-me-down Halloween costume. Who am I? Who the ever-living-fuck am I? I walk to the bus stop. It’s raining. I have no music in my ears. Up to this point in my life, music has been something that happened around me. My parents played music in the background, friends showed me some grunge and metal records; I heard pop music on the radio. But I was a passive passenger to the sounds that washed over me. A hook searching for bait in a world rapidly changing before my childhood eyes.
Second stop, a few kids I know jump on.
”Hey, Tate, have you met Ryan?”
Friendships formed through the collective trauma that is high school tend to have a weightier feel as we get older. Reminiscing on them is like the smell of pencil shavings, graphite and wood clipping the air, pulling us back to a simpler time. A nostalgic breeze where youth was the possibility of forever; that’s why we chase its intoxicating scent.
Over the next few months, Ryan and I will bond over girls, late-night phone calls, and navigating this torturous linoleum hell. He has an effortless cool that I admire and a confidence I try to fake. Our personalities play off each other well. We become fast friends while our neighborhood group reconnects. Most days after school, we are in the park trading insults and arguing over pop culture, or downstairs, alternating between shooting pool and fighting over the video game controllers. Our pubescent faces stuffed with everything my teenage metabolism would race to process. I never had any friends later on like the ones I had during those days. (Jesus, does anyone?)
One afternoon, Ryan will leave his CD binder at my house. That night, I’ll slide a grey album cosplaying as a six shooter’s cylinder out from a sleeve backed by a bull’s giant testicles and hit play. Never again will I walk to the bus without music. That’s the night I discovered Blink-182. And nothing’s been quite the same ever since.
To explain the impact Blink-182 had on a generation, one needs to understand that I didn’t just want to listen to Blink-182. I wanted to be Blink-182. I was a kid in search of an identity, and what I found was as much music as it was a lifestyle. Songs that I could turn to in the throes of teenage heartbreak. T-shirt brands and a style that reflected Southern California vogue. Music to inch ever louder after a fight with my parents. A bratty immature sense of humor to deflect the insecurities bubbling within. Songs that helped me find confidence in an understanding that I wasn’t alone. A punk rock scene that gave me a glimpse of who I was. Or, at least, I now had a vision in my head of who I wanted to be. It wasn’t just music. But, it didn’t hurt that the music bridged this incredible space between punk and pop, energy and emotion, humor and heartbreak. A song for every mood, and god damn did they look like they were having fun playing it.
Decoding this fandom is to deconstruct the suburban ennui of the early 2000s. My upbringing was not hard, but the world outside was fucked. Wars. Stained dresses. Hanging chads. Parents fighting. Puberty. Meanwhile, MTV and the radio still shaped and defined much of pop culture. And this bred within me an undercurrent of malaise and… https://chorus.fm/reviews/blink-182-one-more-time/
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Record Collection MasterPost
Below the read more is a list of my current record collection. I’ll update the posts as it grows. Most of my collection was found thrifting so the condition of some covers and records are not in great condition, however I still love them all. 💕 tumblr has been stupid and keeps deleting some of the albums under A but I’m trying to fix it lmao
A
A
Steve Allen “Steve Allen Plays Bossanova Jazz”
Herb Alpert’s Tijuana Brass “Whipped Cream & Other Delights”
Herb Alpert’s Tijuana Brass “Whipped Cream & Other Delights”
Paul Anka “Feelings”
Paul Anka “Gold”
Paul Anka “Young, Alive, and in Love”
Arctic Monkeys “AM”
Chet Atkins “Nashville Gold”
B
Bad Company “Desolation Angels”
Joan Baez “Blessed Are…”
Joan Baez “From Every Stage”
Joan Baez “Joan Baez in Concert”
Joan Baez “Joan Baez in Concert Part 2”
The Beatles “1”
The Beatles “ ‘65”
The Beatles “1967-1970”
The Beatles “Abbey Road”
blink-182 “Greatest Hits”
Pat Boone “Love Me Tender”
Pat Boone “Star Dust”
The Byrds “Mr Tambourine Man”
The Byrds “Turn! Turn! Turn!”
C
Carmen Cavallaro “Dancing in the Dark”
The Carpenters “A Song for You”
The Carpenters “Made in America”
Cher “Dark Lady”
Cher “Take Me Home”
Chicago “V”
Claudine “The Look of Love”
Joe Cocker “I Can Stand A Little Rain”
Nat King Cole “Love is a Many Splendored Thing”
Nat King Cole “The Very Thought Of You”
Sam Cooke “Portrait of a Legend 1951-1964”
Cream “Disraeli Gears”
Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young “4 Way Street”
D
John Denver “Back Home Again”
John Denver “Greatest Hits”
John Denver “I Want to Live”
John Denver “It’s About Time”
John Denver “Rhymes & Reasons”
John Denver “Rocky Mountain High”
Neil Diamond “Stones”
Donovan “Barabajagal”
Donovan “Donovan”
Donovan “Greatest Hits”
The Doobie Brothers “Best of the Doobies”
Jimmy Dorsey “The Fabulous Jimmy Dorsey Plays His Biggest Hits”
Tommy Dorsey “The Best of Tommy Dorsey”
E
Earth, Wind, & Fire “Electric Universe”
The Graeme Edge Band “Paradise Ballroom”
Elvis “Elvis’ Golden Records”
Elvis “Mahalo from Elvis”
F
Fire & Rain “Mercury”
Ella Fitzgerald “Ella Fitzgerald Sings the Harold Arlen Song Book Vol. 1”
Fleetwood Mac “Rumours”
Don Fogelberg “Souvenirs”
Foreigner “4”
Aretha Franklin “Aretha’s Gold”
G
Bobbie Gentry and Glenn Campbell “Bobbie Gentry and Glenn Campbell”
Leslie Gore “I’ll Cry If I Want To”
The Grass Roots “Leaving It All Behind”
Green Day “Greatest Hits: God’s Favorite Band”
Greta Van Fleet “Anthem of the Peaceful Army”
Greta Van Fleet “The Battle at Garden’s Gate”
Greta Van Fleet “Black Smoke Rising”
Greta Van Fleet “From the Fires”
H
Sam Harris “Sam Harris”
Sam Harris “Sam I Am”
George Harrison “Living in the Material World”
Justin Hayward & John Lodge “Blue Jays”
The Jimi Hendrix Experience “Electric Ladyland”
Buddy Holly and The Crickets “20 Golden Greats”
Engelbert Humperdinck “After the Lovin”
I
J
Etta James “At Last”
Jefferson Airplane “After Bathing at Baxters”
Jefferson Airplane “Crown of Creation”
Jefferson Airplaine “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane”
Jefferson Starship “Spitfire”
K
Carole King “Tapestry”
The Kinks “Sleepwalker”
Bonnie Koloc “Hold On To Me”
L
Don Lanphere Quintet “Into Somewhere”
Julian Lennon “Valotte”
Ramsey Lewis Trio “Hang On Ramsey!”
Gordon Lightfoot “Cold on the Shoulder”
Gordon Lightfoot “Summer Side of Life”
Gordon Lightfoot “The Best of Gordon Lightfoot”
Little Feat “The Last Record Album”
Little Fear “Time Loves A Hero”
Lene Lovich “Stateless”
Steve Lyon “There’s No Place Like Mars”
M
The Mamas & The Papas “The Mamas & The Papas Deliver”
The Mamas & The Papas “Presenting The Mamas & The Papas”
Barry Manilow “Here Comes The Night”
Melanie “Gather Me”
The Monkees “Headquarters”
The Monkees “The Monkees Deluxe Edition”
The Monkees “More of the Monkees”
The Moody Blues “This is the Moody Blues”
Maria Muldaur “Maria Muldaur”
Mystic Moods Orchestra “English Muffin”
Mystic Moods Orchestra “One Stormy Night”
N
Graham Nash “Wild Tales”
Juice Newton “Juice”
O
P
Peaches & Herb “2 HOT!”
Peaches & Herb “Greatest Hits”
Q
R
Bonnie Raitt “Green Light”
Smokey Robinson “A Quiet Storm”
The Rolling Stones “Big Hits (High Tide and Green Grass”
Linda Ronstadt “Heart Like A Wheel”
Linda Ronstadt “Simple Dreams”
Tim Rose “Through Rose Colored Glasses”
S
Bud Shank & the folkswingers “Folk ‘N Flute”
Silk “Smooth As Raw Silk”
Simon and Garfunkel “Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, & Thyme”
Simon and Garfunkel “Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits”
Sonny & Cher “All I Ever Need Is You”
Sonny & Cher “In Case You’re In Love”
Rod Stewart “Never A Dull Moment”
Harry Styles “Harry’s House”
T
The Temptations “Greatest Hits”
The Temptations “House Party”
Tiffany “Hold An Old Friend’s Hand”
Jethro Tull “Songs from the Wood”
Conway Twitty “Conway Twitty’s Greatest Hits”
Bonnie Tyler “It’s A Heartache”
U
V
Various Artists “Country Love Vol. 1”
Various Artists “Let Yourself Go! Limited Edition Collector’s Album”
Various Artists “Time To Get It Together”
Various Artists “Vintage Music: Collectors Series Volume One”
The Vogues “Memories”
W
The White Stripes “The White Stripes Greatest Hits”
The Who “It’s Hard”
The Who “Magic Bus (The Who on Tour)”
X
Y
John Paul Young “Love Is In The Air”
Z
Film Soundtracks
Guardians of the Galaxy “Deluxe Vinyl Edition”
The Hollywood Knights
Oklahoma!
Saturday Night Fever
The Sound of Music
Stardust (1974)
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Was tagged by @psygull to post some albums I’ve been listening to lately :D it was fun to sit and think about what I’ve actually listened to start to finish recently instead of just random songs on repeat lol
“Does This Look Infected” Sum 41- Just good early 2000s punk music to get riled up to lol. Love this album art, I’ve used that same obnoxious green and orange as colors on my blog before. Everything about this album is just exactly what it should be, ya know?
“Is This Thing Cursed?” Alkaline Trio- Actually the band I’ve been most devoted to since like middle school. I can listen to all of their albums start to finish because there’s only a handful of their songs total that I think are skippable. This is their most recent album, and imo actually a good first album to listen to if you want to get into them, just a really solid blend of the punk sound that got them started in the 90s and the more refined sound their frontman, Matt Skiba, has picked up with age. Skiba is also the current front man for Blink-182 since Tom DeLonge left btw, not that it has anything to do with this album lol.
“The Snow Goose” Camel- Absolutely beautiful instrumental concept album about Paul Gallico’s novel of the same name. At some point in the 70s, the band was forced to change the name of this album to “Music Inspired by The Snow Goose”, because the author was apparently furious that these dirty hippies would dare make music about his book, but in 2013 was changed back to just “The Snow Goose”. My favorite thing about this is the fact that I haven’t met a single person who’s actually read Snow Goose that didn’t learn about it first from the Camel album lol. Anyway, completely enchanting album, very subtle and emotional music, great music to listen to in bed. I am actually listening to it at this very moment.
“The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and The Knights of The Round Table” Rick Wakeman- Rick Wakeman (keyboardist from Yes) has a ton of solo stuff, but this one is easily the best imo. Anyone who knows me irl can contest that I never shut up about this album. I cannot recommend this shit enough, it's so good. Yes-quality synth and electric guitar aside, this album also features narration and an entire choir doing backup. It’s basically like Camelot in Space, and what more can you ask for? I think everyone should listen to this album at least once lol.
“Dark Night of The Soul” Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse- An album that my dear friend Leny recommended to me that I love now. I was not actually previously familiar with almost any of the like 15+ artists who collaborated on this, aside from Iggy Pop and David Lynch, which I was told “oh, of course those are the only two you know”, so I guess that says something about me lol. Anyway, really solid album with a totally unique sound to each song from all the different artists while still having a really strong unifying mood.
“The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway” Genesis- I only really got into Genesis recently and this was the first album of thier’s I’d heard, but it’s still easily my favorite. I feel a little evil recommending this one to people who aren’t that into progressive rock because it’s like well over an hour of 20+ songs but, god every single one of them is so so good.
“Good For The Soul” Oingo Boingo- Only recently actually listened to this one and their self title all the way through. Vibes as hell, I mean, like it’s Oingo Boingo, what can I say lol. Just good kooky, new wave to have fun to.
“Synchronicity” The Police- I know I haven’t shut up about Sting on this website in like a year, for some reason lol, but ... he’s good, you guys, I swear lol. I mean this is one of The Police’s more popular albums next to Zenyatta Mondatta, so I don’t know what I can really say about it that isn’t obvious. So much more refined than some of their earlier stuff where they were just doing a lot of shouting like the The Clash wannabes that they were lol. “Synchronicity II” and “Wrapped Around Your Finger” are up there among some of the better examples (across his entire discography) of Sting’s genius as a narrative lyricist imo.
Camel self-titled- Another Camel album because I’ve been listening to them a lot lately. A lot jazzier and more psychedelic than Snow Goose (more fitting of the descriptor “dirty hippy music” lmao), but equally as good. Where Snow Goose is great chance to hear the talent of Camel’s flautist, this one is great to hear their singer’s smooth, deep (dare I say, sexy) voice. Not on either of these albums, but I also feel like I should mention that Camel has a song about Gandalf ( “Nimrodel/White Rider”) which is just great to listen to on its own, because, naturally, it slaps.
I’m going to tag: @ribbon-girl @maxophone @graballa @bubble-tsunami @brimstone-cowboy @cispr-cas9 @magicalmrmephistopheles @mister-outer-space @nitewrighter and the girl reading this :)
#I feel like ive just tagged more people than I ever have on anything lol. posessed to know what music people listen to#rick wakeman also has an interesting concept album about the wives of Henry VIII. not something I listen to as often but I would recommend#if you like King Arthur and want something else to listen to amongst his work#tag game#hannah is talking#not gonna tag any of these artists#um. I never thought about how distinct David Lynch's voice is until I heard him singing in that album like 'lmfao yeah that's#David alright' that weird nasally shouty voice he has lol#I would have put the camel albums next to each other but I needed this post to look good visually and obviously the upturned neck of the#camel on the self title means that he should be in the lower right corner so as to point towards the center of the image as the downturned#neck of the snow goose means he should be in the top right (side-eye emoji. nail polish emoji. paint palette emoji) im an artist lol
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So like, since your whole vibe is generally tip top, I’m super curious what music you’re listening to atm?? Sorry if you’ve answered it somewhere! ☺️
that’s so sweet!!!! i don’t listen to a lot of music, mainly podcasts (which i can DEF recommend) but when i do listen to music, i have a few playlists in rotation
folk punk
early 00s pop punk (Green Day, MCR, Blink-182, BFS, etc)
Musical theatre (hamilton, SPONGEBOB, BoM, rent, etc)
Others are per mood: romantic 50s, supervillain songs, classical, 80s, country, etc. just whatever i’m in the mood for the vibe of
that’s about it! special shout out to olivia rodrigo’s sour. god that album is so fucking good
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FINALLY DOING ALL MY TAG GAMES AAAA IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO DO THESE
@whitedeadflower | pick my favourite albums for bill clinton to enjoy
not necessarily my favorites but i always pick the same 5 albums for these so i just put 4 albums i like a lot and have been listening to more recently <3
@opossuwu | 15 questions
1. What is the first song you remember hearing?
english songs: either learn to fly by foo fighters or human by the killers, i really cannot remember which one but it was around the same time im pretty sure
spanish songs: ALL the songs on/by rebelde, my sister was super into it when i was a baby so i heard so many of their songs right as i was learning to become a human
2. What is the first band you got into?
mmmmmmm probably one direction? if we’re not counting rebelde lol
3. Do you collect music on any physical format?
i collect almost all cds i know and like on CD and have recently started buying vinyl but i think im only going to get albums i really like on it since its more expensive
4. What is your favourite piece of music-related memorabilia/merchandise?
SO many things. i really like my nirvana and red hot chili peppers shirts because they make me feel cute! im also IN LOVE with the in utero angel sticker i bought on redbubble that has a transparent border so its JUST the angel, i stuck it on my record player and i love it so so much
5. What is your favourite concert you've been to?
i have not been to a concert yet :/ i went to a little student festival thing my university hosted for us and saw hunny + hayley kiyoko which was pretty neat
6. If you could see one artist (or band) who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?
nirvana :(
7. Have you met any musicians?
i went to a cd signing for little mix when i was like 12-13 ish but thats the closest ive gotten lol
8. What is your go-to song/album when feeling sad?
i actually have a playlist of comfort songs to listen to when im sad, but i think the song i most consistently go to is encore by red hot chili peppers
9. What is your go-to song/album when feeling happy?
this one depends. probably hump de bump also by rhcp cause it SLAPS and always puts me in a better mood than when i started
10. What is one music-related documentary you love?
EYE only watched a few minutes of funky monks but im sure if i sat down to watch it now id love it. this is the worst question to ask me because i watch a ton of interviews on youtube so i cant even remember which ones were legit docus as opposed to just youtube vids so this question is gonna be basically unanswered. i do want to watch bob and the monster though
11. What is one concert DVD that you love?
i listen to it more as an album on spotify than watch it but Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged is so good
12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or full albums?
usually playlists! but occasionally ill play the albums i have on my player
13. Do you tend to listen to albums in order or on shuffle?
in order, shuffling them is rare
14. What is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist?
favorite artist is rhcp and honestly im? not fully sure. quixoticelixer slaps. and i like almost every song on im with you. but i think im gonna have to go with storm in a teacup cause i checked its streams and its not that popular </3
15. What is your favorite CD/vinyl/cassette that you own in terms of packaging?
THIS ONES SO HARD I LOVE PACKAGING DESIGNS. i love how rhcp’s im with you disc looks like because it has the track list on it but it doesnt look bad like other discs who do that do. booklet design i love vices and virtues by panic at the disco and american idiot by green day. idk what this would fall under but i also love how stadium arcadium’s booklet is held in the case and how when you take it out you see a picture of the band. and there are too many albums whose art i love so i cannot elaborate on that without making this 5xs longer lmao
@garbanz0 & @dailywilliams | top 5 songs ive had on repeat recently
according to spotify’s on repeat playlist:
but also according to my last.fm:
so basically red hot chili peppers own my ass
@badhe4d , @garbanz0 , & @catts-world | 10 songs you like, each by a different artist
uhhhhhhhhhhh
1. Monarchy of Roses - RHCP
2. Back and Forth - Foo Fighters
3. Heart of Glass - Blondie
4. Omission - John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer
5. Dance with Me - Sir, Please
6. Henrietta - The Fratellis
7. Breed - Nirvana
8. Mary - The Happy Fits
9. Girls and Boys - Blur
10. It’s All So Incredibly Loud - Glass Animals
@psychoticbreak | suppose you’re being sent to a deserted island for the rest of your life, and you can only choose 10 records to bring with you and those are the only albums you can listen to for the remainder of your life; what albums are they
oh GOD ok
1. in utero - nirvana
2. stadium arcadium - RHCP
3. nothing personal - all time low
4. red - taylor swift
5. after laughter - paramore
6. wasting light - foo fighters
7. im with you + im beside you if you count them as the same album - RHCP
8. so wrong its right - all time low
9. american idiot - green day
10. inside of emptiness - john frusciante
@mark-hoppuss | shuffle my playlist and list the first ten songs that come up
1. New Invention - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me
2. Thanks to You - All Time Low
3. Por Que Me Haces Llorar? - Juan Gabriel
4. Torture Me - Red Hot Chili Peppers
5. Speak Now - Taylor Swift
6. Prayer of the Refugee - Rise Against
7. Going Away to College - blink-182
8. Time-Bomb - All Time Low
9. DNA. - Kendrick Lamar
10. Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle
@frafru1 , @whitedeadflower , & @psychoticbreak | make a playlist with the letters of my name
Lithium by Nirvana
Universally Speaking by RHCP
Pool by Paramore
Eye Opener by Dot Hacker
@badhe4d | post my lock screen, the last song I listened to and the last picture I saved on my phone
friends name blocked out but. an interesting screenshot. yes i have flea’s tweet notifs on and use twitter for absolutely nothing else. yes i have email notifs on
if screenshots count:
if they DONT count and you mean purely just saving:
my icon and boyfriend <3
@badhe4d | 7 questions to get to know me better
three ships: not romantically because i dont believe in shipping irl people but i love everyone in rhcp’s gay polycule energy. specifically john and anthony in the 80s. romantically tho mickey and ian in shameless. i dont think i have a third one? me and my bisexual mutuals <3
last song: i shuffled a ton of songs and skipped for some of these tags but before those i was listening to the album weird kids by we are the in crowd as a tbt, specifically the song manners
last movie: inside by bo burnham but if you dont count that, hereditary
currently watching: it is very difficult for me to watch shows so im currently just watching youtube lol
currently reading: nothing. i cannot read :( bc of attention issues not bc im illiterate
currently consuming: banana bread :3
currently craving: RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS RELEASE YOUR FUCKING ALBUM CHALLENGE
@the-replacemints | top 10 favorite debut albums
NOT in order. also it took way too long to come up with this list lol
1. Concentrate - The Happy Fits
2. So Wrong It’s Right - All Time Low
3. SOUR - Olivia Rodrigo
4. Strange Desire - Bleachers
5. RAZZMATAZZ - I Dont Know How But They Found Me
6. Hot Fuss - The Killers
7. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
8. Bleach - Nirvana
9. Costello Music - The Fratellis
10. WALK THE MOON - Walk The Moon
because theres so many of these im not gonna tag people for each individual prompt but if you tagged me in one of these i tag you in whichever ones you wanna do <3
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What’s My Age Again? - Blink 182
Sunny’s thoughts below the cut
[What the fuck was I thinking? What-the-fuck? That’s not me- I don’t just sit on random viking dude’s laps and come onto them..but, he did seem sad-]
[No, Sunny- just, no! Fucking him isn’t even an option- goddamnit...I really like him,and I don’t even really fucking know him, oh and yeah, I’m sitting on his couch in hisfucking ROOM. I should have never come to this party, this is why I keep to myself. Inever fucking learn...oh, fuck me...we planned the hike...fuck my life. He was fuckingBAKED, what almost happened isn’t like anything- yeah, Olin Rask interested in me?STOP IT! I just need a friend, he can be my friend and we can pretend that I never felthis boner in any way shape or form. FUCK. Okay, regrouping...friends. That’s what Iwant, not friends with benefits...oh god, and there’s that...I haven’t even fucked anyonesince high school- ugh, and then if he ever finds out about the rape- yeah, mood killer.Then I’m just the damaged girl who was raped, because everyone has to make it part ofmy identity and I’m like why? Why can’t I be anything other than the girl that was raped?Why am I even thinking about this? It doesn’t even matter, because NOTHING is goingto happen between us. What if those douchebags never came in? Would I have fuckedhim? Nooooo. No way. Maybe a heavy makeout session? God, I bet he’s amazing in bed.The things I would let him to do me- okay, so- no. I’m not just a one night stand type ofgirl. Not anymore. I hate this shit, I hate people, I hate fucking feelings! Why does this shithave to be so fucking complicated?! Why can’t I just fucking fast forward my life]
[And then there’s Luca- fucking, Luca. Like he thinks that I don’t know him,what kind of person he is. The kind of person that dumps teenage girls on theirparents’ lawn and the kind of person who just watches it happen. Fuck him, likeI don’t know that he’s here to use me.]
#simblr#ts4#sims 4#sims story#story time#crossover!#raskland#the rasks#the weists#the aguilars#the sugawaras#AW SHIT#tw#tw rape
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Interlude: Kai Parker falls in love
Whitmore Guy masterlist
word count: 2710
music: down by blink-182, famous last words by my chemical romance
Y/N stood her back to the car on one foot, rubbing the other against the ankle.
“What about the picture? You showed me the picture of you and Martha”.
“Spell”, he said casually. She raised her head.
“I thought you were a vampire”.
“I’m both”, Kai shrugged with pride, “they call me a heretic”.
“And the whole bleeding then… I watched you, precisely because I wasn’t sure, I was watching how quickly you’d heal after the attack on the bar…”
He nodded.
“Kai, did you turn all those people?”
Another nod.
“I had a very elaborate plan which you will have to figure out for yourself. We gotta go”.
“Why’s the rush?”
He puffed like he didn’t want to say.
“Ma-.. Kai, I can’t go away with you for good, you know that, right?”
Interesting how about five hours ago she thought the opposite.
“We’ve had this conversation before. And then you went away with me. I take over every time, don’t waste your energy, baby”.
He opened the door of the car with the motion of his hand. Y/N was used to seeing Bonnie do that, so it looked eerie. Lie, the whole three months she’s known him, were a lie. But then again… who’s gonna throw a stone at him?
“Why did they decide to get rid of you?”
He was getting annoyed again. This guy had a very short fuse. True, he was much nicer when his mouth was glued to hers. Y/N moved her shoulder uncomfortably.
“Do you want my jacket?”
“What happens to my friends now?”
“Oh god, the interrogation again”, he moaned.
“What did you expect?”
“I don’t know, a long kiss, passionate sex, us running into the raspberry sunrise, the town burning, something like that”, he crowed.
“I don’t know you, Kai, and they’re my…”
Not to blow up, he took a deep breath of night air. The night air is sweet and nice, not quite like lemonade, but still. He tuned out for a second, only catching the ‘I don’t know you’ part.
“I can fix that”, he said, putting the hand on her neck. His palm was warm against her skin covered in goose bumps. August was wearing out slowly, and, though it’s generally mild in the south, occasionally cold nights happened.
She fell down into the car and onto the seat as if something pulled her. Kai lifted her feet and tucked her in carefully, and closed the door. Y/N was asleep, drowning into the vivid vision he cherished, perhaps his favorite memory of her.
They drove in the car. She sat at the wheel but she had no idea where she’s going. Oh, wait, it’s the Whitmore again! What the hell? But it’s daytime. Y/N looked down on her hands holding the wheel and it didn’t really feel like a dream; it was something in between sleep and reality. She just drove, realizing slowly that there was somebody next to her, talking. She turned her head and saw Kai. As soon as he came into her vision field, she heard his voice.
“…you know? And turned out, it was so easy. You literally go online, click this one thing, and you’ve got an acc. Wow. And then followers just…” he made a funny face, “swarmed me. You should follow me, too. They find me hilarious, and when I post selfies, girls, they start messaging me!”
“I’m not on twitter”, she said, or rather, the meat suit she was stuck in, said for her. She felt her lips move and heard her own voice. But the sentence wasn’t formed in her head. She was a mere, silent, helpless spectator. She looked at herself into the rearview mirror. And saw her own eyes, completely calm, joyful, even. She realized she was in a good mood. The car was happily speeding down the road, past the college. Kai (this name was still new) was wearing a childish blue and white tee which made him look years younger.
It was past. It wasn’t a dream. Kai must have inserted one of his memories in her when he touched her.
“You are, now”, he shook his head and waved her phone in his hand, “I just created you an account”.
“Kai, leave my phone alone”.
She stopped the car at the brink of the forest where she’s been thousands of times. She left the car, and suddenly, she said,
“Great idea, by the way, with the blue and white shirt”.
Kai widened his eyes, not understanding.
“What do you mean?”
“What if something goes wrong, and you will be all covered in blood”.
Just as she said it, she felt a sting on her right forearm. She looked down and saw a fresh cut, the type they usually made for a location spell.
Her feet carried her into the forest. Kai was walking behind her with a coil of rope over his shoulder, and he looked very energetic. The way even Mal never looked. He was pretty, lively. He smiled, looking around, he had that kind of a happy smile that a kid has when it knows that they’re going somewhere exciting.
The old her also noticed it.
“What are you so happy about?”
He shrugged, stepping over a knot of green moss,
“I love me some outdoor activities, if you know what I mean”.
“I really don’t”.
Her foot got caught in a root, she grabbed on a thistle and cursed. Kai hummed. They walked on, and then she stopped abruptly, again, to her own surprise.
“You have no idea where to go, do you?”
Kai leveled with her and made a thinking face. He seemed so nonchalant, and she felt the same. She knew this version of her was way more careless. He took her hand and suddenly there was a zip she already knew too well. This time she felt it very clearly: something weird was happening. It felt like energy was streaming right from her body, and into his, like he was sucking the life force out of her. Only, it didn’t feel painful, and it wasn’t wrong. More like, she was feeding him.
A vision inside a vision: she saw through somebody else’s eyes. A cliff, falling down in a sharp turn, the waterfall and the forest below; it was the Nine Brothers’ Waterfall not far away from where they stood.
Kai pushed her away quite rudely.
“Don’t ever do that again!”
In a second his face changed. She looked at him, a capricious boy, and felt the familiar (for the old her) irritation fill her.
“Do what?” she snarled.
“Sneak on me!”
“You’re the one who grabbed me! You know I can’t control it, prick!”
Kai looked her up and down and closed his mouth. He was genuinely worried about her reading his mind. The witch was super concerned about the safety of his pot. There must be some awful things residing there. Finally, apparently after some inner monologue, he let go of it.
“He’s at the waterfall”.
“Yeah”, Y/N snapped, “I know”.
Kai didn’t know how to hold a grudge – now she, the new variant, could throw her fists up victoriously, because she knew something the old her didn’t: Kai is very good at holding grudges. Anyway, he started chatting in five minutes again. He was talking about what he dreamt about last night, and the plants he saw as he went, and how back in Portland he tried to take care of their garden, but they kept interrupting him and soon wouldn’t let him out of the house – and it’s so hard to do gardening when you’re inside! LOL. He talked and talked, until they came out into the clearing they’d seen previously – and she finally remembered the day.
It was the day Shane Atticus died. She remembered vaguely this place in the forest. She even knew where the Waterfall was because she’s been there that day. But she had no other recollection of what’s happened.
She turned to look at Kai. He was the reason she hadn’t. They took it all away. The sound of the water, and the smells of the forest, the prick of thistle, and the cut on her arm.
Atticus was walking around in the clearing, and then he bowed to a big sports bag, taking out a huge ass hunting knife.
They produced sounds simultaneously: Kai gasped, impressed, clearly instantly desiring the knife for himself.
She hummed, annoyed. She hadn’t seen a single Predator running around.
“What’s he doing?” she asked.
“Looks like he’s about to sacrifice…”
At that moment she heard a loud scream. It was animal: Atticus lifted a cat, tied like it was a freaking sausage, yelling for its life, slapping its loose tail on his hands. She saw red. Even though Kai tried to stop her, and even grabbed her by the hem of her jacket, she ran out, yelling,
“LEAVE IT ALONE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!”
Funny thing happened. She ran out, but then again, she stayed where Kai was. Because it was his memory. It was like she floated around next to him, but not inside his body. She could see her own back, and how she hopped as she ran. Jesus, is that how I look when I attack somebody? Like a mantis! she thought, cringing.
“That was about the time I fell in love with you”, Kai said, to nobody. She saw everything without turning her head; she didn’t have any. She wanted to ask him to put her back into her body, but she had no mouth, either. She could only observe, locked away, spread everywhere, until the vision was over.
They charged at Atticus (Parker had no other choice than to follow her), and tied him to a tree. Kai knocked him out with a powerful throw and knocked him out. As she was untying the cat, crying with fear and pain, it bit her right hand through. That fucking scar! She was looking at it, from time to time, and had no idea where it came from! It was the cat in the forest!
She saw herself cradle her bitten hand, pale with pain, trying to keep it cool in front of Kai. And him, his eyes, crawling slowly over her, as he expected her to cry out, too. He was like a slow insect, when he was like this, almost inhuman in his delusional obsession with pain. He wanted to see every second of her agony and not miss anything. He almost forgot about Shane.
“Get the water”, she hissed, wincing with pain, and finally, Kai walked over to the bag and pulled a bottle out.
He poured some over the bright red bite, and she moaned quietly.
“You do something good and that’s what you get”, he muttered musingly. “That’s why I never do good anymore”.
She found it in her to snicker.
“You’re doing something good right now”.
Kai’s face lit up with amusement.
“You call this good?”
“You’re helping me, and I’m a good person. Sorry to bust your super villain party”.
He smirked, charmingly, the corner of his mouth went up. He looked so nice.
Then they tried to make Atticus talk. She had no idea what they wanted. She remembered, about five or six years ago, when her dad died (was killed), she was in a car accident. Maybe it was about that. When you think about it, the whole summer of that year was extremely blurry, she just didn’t think that far back. It was horrifying. It meant Kai was there all the time. Her memory of that year was all but a big gaping hole.
Shane rolled his eyes out and cursed at Parker.
“You’re the boy with no powers”, he smiled with his bloody mouth. Kai tilted his head,
“Do I look like I don’t have powers?”
He made Atticus yell out in pain.
She didn’t know why she stood there and just watched them. Pressing her hand into her stomach, she approached them.
“Just get inside and look. We don’t have that much time, Kai”.
Shane was wailing.
Kai clicked his tongue.
“I don’t have enough magic”, he admitted, and looked up at her. She sniffed impatiently.
She put her hand on his shoulder and nodded. This time she couldn’t feel anything, floating around. She could as well be a leaf slowly falling down from a tree. But she saw them two together, crouching next to Atticus, like two weasels. Shane quietened down as Kai penetrated his mind, accelerated by the force her touch brought to him. His shoulders shook a little as he chanted under his breath. It was effortless, she didn’t seem bothered in any bit. The only thing that unnerved her was her own hand.
Shane opened his eyes and moaned,
“Taurus!”
“No way”, Kai jeered. “No! Fuck you!”
“They will come for you, they mustn’t know she left the town if you want to keep her alive…”
Then something happened to him, and his head snapped on his shoulder.
There was a moment of silence, and she removed her hand from Kai. The boy turned to her very slowly, his face full of unreadable expression.
“Oh. You killed him”.
“I killed him?” she yelped. “What… how?”
“I think you shot too much magic through me, and his heart stopped”.
He was sitting, one knee to the ground. She stood up, like she wanted to jump away. Her bitten hand was shaking violently with pain, but the rest of her seemingly went numb. The second Y/N was waiting, watching them both. The noise of the waterfall filled everything.
“Cut off his head”, she said finally.
Kai’s eyebrows went up.
“You want me… you wanna… cut his head off?”
“Yes, make it look like it was a ripper. Whoever they are, they can’t know we’ve been here. And if Damon learns I was here, he’s going to kill me”.
Kai looked at her for a second more, and then turned and gazed straight at her, again. Like he could see her in the air. Like he knew exactly where she was.
“Yeah, I definitely fell in love with you then”.
She blinked with the eyelids she didn’t have.
They were sitting in the car again, and she drove with one hand.
“Remind me again”, she panted, “why the hell I am driving?”
She looked at Kai, and if she could, she’d scream. He was covered in blood from the top of his head to his ass. All his blue and white shirt was soaked in it, like he was running under the rich splatters of it. Her mind wondered, but her old self just winced.
“Because I don’t drive, I told you”, he moaned.
“Jesus, Kai, stop touching everything! Put the phone back!”
“I want to change the song! This one is good”.
The drops of rain they fall all over
This awkward silence makes me crazy
The glow inside burns light upon her
I'll try to kiss you if you let me
“Aren’t you too old for blink?” she asked.
Kai shrugged and rubbed his cheek.
“I knew Mark by the way. Yeah, when I was studying in Cali”.
“You liar!”
“Pfft. I don’t lie to you, you know that”.
“No way you knew Mark fucking Hoppus when you were studying in Cali!”
“Yeah, he had green hair back then, I remember telling him he has to ditch that drummer if they wanna be famous one day”.
Kai motioned towards one of the speakers as if saying, and there we are.
“This is…”
“Yes, I am very cool, I know. You’re welcome”.
It was the first time he didn’t feel like he was showing off, strangely. He sounded pretty sincere. Because he was all covered in Shane’s blood, it was hard to concentrate.
“How did you even get so dirty while cutting off a head?”
“Have you ever cut off someone’s head?”
“Nope, I usually have people do it for me”, she smirked.
You’re already into him, she thought. Kai smiled back.
“No further questions. I must say, it was pretty hot. How you were like, cut it off. I even got a little bit of a…”
“I know Kai, I was there”, Y/N interrupted.
I was there
I was there
I was there…
#kai parker#kai parker imagine#kai parker x reader#vampire diaries#vampire diaries imagine#legacies#tvd imagine#whitmore guy
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It’s here!! I reached 3500 followers. Thank you so much to all of you lovely people who have followed and continue to follow me you are all amazing. I appreciate all of you!!! Now on to the challenge. It got a little crazy. I am so sorry. Below are 100 songs spanning the first 18 years of my life. I have divided them up into the ’80s, ’90s, and ’00s. If a song was out before I was born but rereleased after I was born its on the list but listed under its original decade.
Here are the rules:
1. One person per song. There are 100 songs so no doubling up this time. Send in an ask with your character and song.
2. You are allowed to pick more than one song. You are allowed to create anything you want. Story, social media edit, mood board, etc.
3. Characters I allow are:
Steve Rogers x Reader
Tony Stark x Reader
AU Bucky Barnes x Reader
Stucky x Reader
Jim Kirk x Reader
Leonard McCoy x Reader
Rafael Barba x Reader
Stony, Stony x Reader
McKirk, McKirk x reader
Bruce Wayne x Reader
Ransom Drysdale x Reader
Robb Stark x Reader
Chris Evans x Reader
4. If you pick a song, please complete the challenge. I have had many take a prompt and then not complete it. If you need an extension, please let me know. I will happily give them or if you cant do it let me know so that I can add it back on to the list.
5. I will leave the list open up to the last week of April.
6. Due date will be April 30 cause thats my birthday month!!!
7. Any questions let me know. AND HAVE FUN. Songs are below the cut.
1980s
Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams
Everything I Do, I Do It For You by Bryan Adams @ladyideal Leonard McCoy
Manic Monday by The Bangles
I Want To Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston @becs-bunker
Push it by Salt N Pepa
Whatta Man by Salt N Pepa and En Vogue
Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins @beccaanne814
Alone by Heart @annathewitch Leonard McCoy
Who Will You Run To by Heart
Pink Houses by John Cougar Mellencamp
Jack and Diane by John Cougar Mellencamp
Here I Go Again by White Snake @captain-rogers-beard Tony Stark
Like A Prayer by Madonna
Papa Dont Preach by Madonna @jennmurawski13 Stucky
Livin on a Prayer by Bon Jovi @thats-what-i-call-british Bucky Barnes AU
You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi @thats-what-i-call-british Tony Stark
Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen @catmom1978 Leonard McCoy
1990s
Perfect Fan by The Backstreet Boys
No Diggity by Blackstreet @thatesqcrush Rafael Barba
I’d Do Anything For Love by Meatloaf
Nice and Slow by Usher
Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel
Dreaming of You by Selena @themusicplayedherlife Steve Rogers
One Headlight by The Wallflowers
Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry
She’s So High by Tal Bachman
The Sign by Ace of base
Don’t Speak by No Doubt @nekoannie-chan Steve Rogers
Underneath It All by No Doubt @locke-writes Rafael Barba
I’ll Make Love To You by Boys II Men
On Bended Knee by Boys II Men
A Song For Mama by Boys II Men
Un-break My Heart by Toni Braxton @littlecrazyfangirl-98 McKirk
Kiss Me by Six Pence None The Richer @bohemian-barbie Steve Rogers
Hold On by Wilson Phillips
Livin’ La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin
Say You’ll Be There by Spice Girls
Wannabe by Spice Girls
Where’s the Love by Hanson
I Will Come To You by Hanson
One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey
Barbie Girl by Aqua
Bitch by Meredith Brooks
The Boy is Mine by Brandy and Monica @fandomoneshots-imagines Tony Stark
Back at One by Brian McKnight
Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Deep Blue Something @locke-writes Tony Stark
My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion @thats-what-i-call-british Bucky Barnes AU
My Way by Usher
Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden @wondersofdreaming Chris Evans
Say My Name by Destiny’s Child
Come on Over Baby by Christina Aguilera @just-the-hiddles Chris Evans
What A Girl Wants by Christina Aguilera
I Swear by All-4-One
Last kiss by Pearl Jam
The Hardest Thing by 98 degrees
2000s
Penny & Me by Hanson @xemopeachx Rafael Barba
You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban
Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney
Sk8er boi Avril Lavigne
Try Again by Aaliyah
Case of the Ex by Mya
First Date by Blink 182 @locke-writes Steve Rogers
The Anthem by Good Charlotte
She’s a Rebel by Green Day @locke-writes AU Bucky Barnes
More Than That by The Backstreet Boys
Fighter by Christina Aguilera
All About Us by t.A.T.u
All The Things She Said by t.A.t.U
All For You by Janet Jackson
All I Have by Jennifer Lopez
If You Had My Love by Jennifer Lopez
Love Don’t Cost a Thing by Jennifer Lopez @bohemian-barbie Ransom Drysdale
Daughters by John Mayer
Your Body Is A Wonderland by John Mayer @avintagekiss24 Steve Rogers
Survivor by Destiny Child
I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden @thatfanficstuff AU Bucky Barnes
Thank God I Found You by Mariah Carey
Unpretty TLC
No Scrubs TLC
My Everything 98 Degrees
Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears @thats-what-i-call-british Steve Rogers
Toxic by Britney Spears @madpanda75 Rafael Barba
Stronger by Britney Spears
The Two of Us by NSYNC
This I Promise You by NSYNC
Trouble By Pink @kaunis-sielu AU Bucky Barnes
Walk Away by Pink
Always On Time by Ja Rule
Angel by Shaggy
Girl on TV by LFO
Hanging By A Moment by LIfehouse @sippingchai AU Bucky Barnes
Here Without You by 3 doors down
Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira @thatesqcrush Rafael Barba
Ohio by Bowling For Soup
Summer Girls by LFO
Where Is the Love by The Black Eyed Peas
Wherever You Will Go by The Calling @mrsrafaelbarba Rafael Barba
3 am by Matchbox Twenty @locke-writes Bruce Wayne
My Immortal by Evanscence @secondsineternity Stucky x reader
#Steve Rogers#Steve Rogers x reader#Tony Stark#Iron Man#The Avengers#rafael barba#rafael barba x reader#leonard mccoy#leonard mccoy x reader#jim kirk#mckirk#jim kirk x leonard mccoy#star trek#Jim Kirk x reader#kitten#Chris Evans#Chris Evans x reader#robb stark#game of thrones#a song of fire and ice#stony#steve rogers x tony stark#ransom drysdale#ransom drysdale x reader
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you can tell a lot about someone by the type of music they listen to 🎵🎶
rules: hit shuffle on your media player and write down the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!
thanks for the tag @himbocalum :)
If Walls Could Talk- Live // 5 Seconds of Summer - pretty on brand that this is how my playlist starts ~ Luke’s cute ass way of singing the first verse kills me
Where You Are // Mayday Parade - I wish I was more into the Sunnyland album... this one is pretty sad and soft, love the chorus
Dead // Real Friends - A great song song to sing after a break up in the car while angry ngl
I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes) // The 1975 - literally anything by The 1975 is good in my books but this one is a mood lol
Glow // Moose Blood - the chorus of this song always confuses the hell out of me but it’s catchy so like here I am with it downloaded cause the verses are great
Wildfire // Blink 182 - this would be a great song to hear live and I wish they played it last summer. I LOVE the last verse
The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver // All Time Low - literally one of my top 3 favourite songs by them. so iconic and another song to sing while angry in the car lol
Live While We’re Young // One Direction - Literally anything by 1D will be overly praised in my books. You can’t tell me any of their songs aren’t bops. LWWY is a bop.
Dress // Taylor Swift - ummm Reputation isn’t really my favouirte album by Taylor but I can really vibe with the lyrics in the chorus cause I’ve totally done it myself
Shape Up // State Champs - State Champs are amazing live and any song by them gets me pumped.
I Walk The Line // Halsey - God, I love Halsey so much lol. This song is chilled and it’s not on my list of top songs by her but I love the vibe it has to it
Smiling On The Surface // Real Friends - Composure reminds me of meeting the band at the last Warped Tour in Toronto and I miss that all the time ... anyway this some is a mood but also not one of faves by them lol
Walking In The Wind // One Direction - THIS MF SONG goes so hard in the choruses and I will 100% fight a bitch about the beauty of this song, so don’t test me
Gorgeous // Taylor Swift - YOO this song, I love this damn song. Like I know I said I wasn't a big fan on Reputation but this song bring that whole album up a notch in my books. 100% down to clown with this song cause it’s a mood
Never Sure // Mayday Parade - lol how did we get Sunnyland twice? ... anyway I actually I really like this song cause the lyrics sink into my soul. The chorus? Like yup, right out of my soul lol
Adrenaline // Simple Creature - Simple creatures? amazing. This song? also amazing.
I Think I Want You // Oh, Weatherly - So I saw this band open for.. Mayday Parade I think??? and it was my first time ever hearing about them or their music and when they played this song I fell in love with it. It’s just so relatable and catchy
Paint You Wings // All Time Low - This album is literally my favourite album of all time so like obviously I’m going to praise this song. Love verse 2
The Fault in Our Stars // Troye Sivan - Oh wow okay now I’m sad. I haven’t heard this song in years and now old feelings and emotions are bubbling in chest... ouch lol ...... nonetheless a VERY soft and cute song and I remember loving it but now it just makes me want to cry lol cool cool anyway...
Common // Zayn - fucKING ZAYN what a heartbreaking king. Voice of a mf angel and this song is just so damn cute and I love it so much
if any of y’all want to do this (if you haven’t already) i’m literally tagging like 5 people cause I’m lazy and also can’t think of 10 people atm lol: @ashton-trash @wonderland-irwin @castaway-cashton @talkfastcal @calumhood1
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fireworks (that went off too soon)
Hey there! This is a CS one shot. An AU in which Killian is the lead singer and songwriter in a band that sounds suspiciously like Fall Out Boy...
Summary: Emma and Killian were friends in college, but haven’t spoken in 9 years. Killian’s band’s new single changes everything.
Words: 4400ish
Rating: Teen? (Swearing, References to Sex)
Also on AO3
Big thanks to @awkwardnessandbaseball for reading this over, correcting all my dumbass mistakes, and helping me polish this up pretty :)
(The title comes from my favorite Fall Out Boy song, Fourth of July. It’s heavily featured in the story sung by Killian’s band.)
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It was 3pm on Friday the 13th – also a Full Moon – when Emma Swan finally had the meltdown she’d pressed “pause” on about nine years earlier.
(Nine years, three months, more accurately, but who was counting?)
The work week was winding down. The get this done today or be fired tasks had been completed and all the emails had been answered and it was about time to start doing the bare minimum to run down the clock to 5:01 when she could, without regret, run screaming from the building and put her god forsaken job out of her mind for two days of rest, relaxation, and rum.
(Definitely the rum. Or maybe it had been upgraded to a tequila weekend.)
It was Pandora’s fault, really. (A fitting name for opening up an emotional box inside her soul that had been sealed for quite a long time and with very good fucking reason.)
Usually Emma listened to wordless music – movie scores, Vitamin String Quartet and the like – so as to keep the creative juices flowing without breaking her train of concentration. But having reached the procrastination part of the afternoon, she thought, what harm could there be in listening to a little regular music?
Emma had always had a soft spot for pop/punk/emo music. It brought her joy even when it wasn’t joyful, which is either a sentiment only shared by lonely foster girls or perhaps all emo kids, but did it matter? It was her kind of music. Long before she met Killian Jones.
But then she met him. He was an insufferable ass at least 2/3 of the time, but for the other third of his life, he was sweet, funny, and musically a goddamn genius. His voice was smooth and warm, he could play guitar like it was in his DNA, and his lyrics were both relatable and completely original. She was half in love from the start, so of course she pushed him as far away as possible.
(Love is patient; love is kind. Love is slowly losing my mind)
He was aloof. At best. They were college kids who shared a dorm building and not much else, not until their roommates fell in love with each other. That’s around the time they started spending an inordinate amount of time together. He was fucking anything with brown eyes and tits and she absolutely did not care and everything was fine. They were friends, kind of. She was a fan of his band, but not in the groupie way. She had no intention of being just a notch in his bedpost or a line in his song.
(As it turned out, she ended up becoming both. Eventually.)
When he wasn’t playing shows in dive bars (or fucking freshmen girls in a shower stall of their dorm hall’s shared bathroom), he spent a lot of time in Emma’s room. Mostly to avoid Mary Margaret and David in his room who were, as he called it, “the most sickly sweet love story this side of the Atlantic” and “a complete buzzkill to complex song-writing.” And she was OK with it. She loved when he would compose while she read. And they had the best conversations. They challenged each other on everything from politics to pie flavors and she’d never been so stimulated by someone of the opposite sex in her life.
Intellectually stimulated. In the brain.
By junior year, the two pairs of roommates had moved off-campus, opting to share a three bedroom house while they finished up school. Killian’s band was starting to actually make something of themselves, but he vowed to get his degree (this pretty face won’t last forever), and Emma played tutor for him when he skipped class for weeks on end so he could play some gigs on the west coast.
They were friends. They were equals. They meant so much more to each other than “just” friends or study buddies or housemates or anything, because the past three years had been the most stable years in either of their lives and it was all because of the support they received from each other in the darkest nights and the brightest days and seriously.
Fuck Pandora.
It had distracted her when she was in the middle of perfectly pleasant procrastinating. Now she was getting off track. Frazzled. Fucking pissed.
With her work mostly finished, she had decided to listen to Panic! At the Disco’s station. It was a safe zone – the best of two different genres: emo and pop. She bopped along to Blink 182 and “the Ballad of Mona Lisa.” She swayed and swooned a little when “Secrets” by One Republic played. And she got a good laugh at “I’m Not OK (I Promise),” remembering the days she’d scream “I’m not o-fucking kay! [trust me]” every time she got into a fight with the foster mother she now loved so very much.
But then there was a dramatic twist and a cinematic sweep and that voice and before she could switch the station, some warning popped up at her, removing all the buttons and controls and displaying the error message of SOMETHING WENT WRONG and all she could think was no shit, Sherlock.
Killian’s band got big when they were 21. And stayed big. The band broke up once, briefly, but they’d been dancing around the American Top 40 for at least 6 of the last 9 years and as much as it hurt her to hear his voice through a radio and not through a wall of their shared house, at least the lyrics of the songs never stung her before.
Because they’d never been about her before.
It was the summer before senior year, late that June, and Killian had just returned from a little pop-punk festival in Seattle. She’d picked him up at the airport in Portland (Maine) and had been chatting his ear off about how much better “our” Portland was from “theirs” (Oregon), but Killian had been largely silent.
Which was out of character to the extreme, his little creative writing/song composer mind always racing and his far too pleasing voice always spilling from his stupidly attractive lips.
“What is up with you, Jones? I just said that they have better lobster in Oregon and you didn’t even react.”
From the passenger seat, he played with the window controller, the air whooshing in and stopping to the rhythm of Seven Nation Army AKA the world’s most overplayed song that wasn’t sung by Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift.
“Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing, Swan. A problem for a different day, to be sure.”
His voice had been quiet, unsure. That wasn’t him either. This was the asshole who could start a trend with a typo and who claimed to have made a girl come with nothing but his voice. His level of confidence was infuriating, but unshakeable.
(He made forgetting the words to his own songs look attractive. And that was an eventual Buzzfeed headline, not Emma’s own assessment. Obviously.)
“Killian, what’s up? Did the festival not go as well as you wanted? From what I saw on YouTube, it seemed awfully successful.”
“Aye, love.” He perked up just a bit, finally turning toward her and smiling. “It was grand.”
“And you’re brooding because, what, you’re worried that feeling happy for too long will sap you of your emo energy or something?”
Her attempt to lighten the mood didn’t seem to take, though, and Killian turned back out the window like he was practicing for his very own music video.
When they got back to their house, Emma grabbed his clothes and Killian lugged the musical equipment and neither of them said a word.
Fog had rolled in, or maybe it was on its way out, and if it weren’t for the green leaves, it might have felt like October. But there was something about his expression that was a hell of a lot more December. Something ending.
They were lingering almost awkwardly in their kitchen, Emma trying to casually wrack her brain for how to pull Killian out of his little funk, when he interrupted her with an overdramatic clearing of his throat.
“Ahem! Fancy a drink, Swan?” Killian extended a shot glass to her, a dark liquid inside that couldn’t be anything but spiced rum.
“What’s the occasion?” she asked hesitantly.
“Perhaps… perhaps it’s a celebration.”
“…of?”
“Your business sense, of course!” He lifted his glass toward hers for a clink and then downed the shot faster than she could even raise hers to her lips.
“What kind of business are we talking here? I’m not sure if this is the setup for an idiot joke or a reference to lyrics you swear you told me you wrote but never actually did.”
“Ah, love, no. Not that, this time anyway. Actually – actually, it’s about the band. And ‘Grand Theft Autumn.’ They loved it like you said they would.”
“They being?”
“The record company. They loved it. And they want it. And us.”
Holy shit! She knew it. They were going to be famous. Killian deserved it so much and they were going to be huge and everyone was going to love him just like she did and –
Wait.
“When you say they want you… do you mean, like, deferred acceptance so you can finish college or…”
“No, love. The boys and I … we’re packing up and moving to LA.”
She was dumbfounded.
“LA?”
“Aye.”
“When?”
“Monday.”
That’s right about the time her stomach dropped to her heels and the rum threatened its way back up her throat and perhaps onto Killian’s perfectly rumpled white shirt.
She just – wasn’t ready to let him go.
She could hear his honey-smooth voice drift through her head, his own lyrics seeming oddly relevant to this dramatic turn in her life.
Maybe he won’t find out what I know; you were the last good thing about this part of town.
So they drank. And drank. And drank some more. They were more honest with each other than they’d been in three years. She told him how much she hated that he thought setting his clocks early would keep him from being late. And he told her that he didn’t truly think that… it just had fit as a song lyrics and he felt like he needed to “make it authentic by living it.”
She called him pretentious and he called her painfully adorable and neither were true and yet somehow they felt like the perfect identifiers for the characters they were trying to be when they weren’t with each other.
So of course she fell into bed with him that night. Her bed. The twinkly lights hung around her ceiling were flickering as he kissed a trail down her neck and she tugged off his way-too-tight jeans and dear fucking lord if she thought the only thing he could do with his tongue was sing, she was officially wrong.
But come morning she was officially gone. As the sun rose on a rainy June Sunday morning, she slipped out of her bed, slid into whatever clothes she could reach without making noise, and jogged all the way to David’s brother’s frat house to hide until Monday came and went and when exactly did her life turn into an emo song?
When I wake up I’m willing to take my chances on the hope I forget
September. Friday the 13th. Pandora malfunction. Her brain was reeling and her heart was shattering all over again, because the song pumping through her pathetic tinny Dell speakers was, on first blush, just another of his melodramatic fictions, a series of sentiments that sounded good together but that he’d never actually experienced (he’d admitted the best songs were much like Hey There Delilah… a lovely story and 0% real). But she could hear something genuine in that still so attractive voice. And then… a few familiar thoughts.
I’ll be as honest as you let me
I miss your early morning company
If you get me
You are my favorite ‘what if’
You are my best ‘I’ll never know’
She’d turned off her phone the morning she’d left him in her bed. Kept it off until Tuesday. And blocked his number the minute she turned it back on.
Goodbyes were bad enough. To have been reduced to his very last college-one-night-stand? She couldn’t face it.
(Especially because she’d realized mid-fuck she’d kind of always wanted to be his forever, or whatever overly-romantic hyperbole he’d scoff at before writing it down in his notes.)
She hadn’t let herself think of him for longer than the span of one of his songs since that day. Even then, she’d usually change the channel. It was just too hard.
But could this one actually be about her? And if so, what the fuck was she supposed to do with that? Cry? Scream? Sue his sorry ass for slander?
(Not that one.)
She’d made a lot of mistakes in her life. He’d never been one of them, not until the end. Is it possible that didn’t need to be the end at all?
My 9 to 5 is cutting open old scars
Again and again til I’m stuck in your head
He’d probably had a lot of almosts. Maybe he’d just gotten better at faking genuine emotion in his songs. There’s no way he still thought about her. Even for lyrical dramatics.
I wish I’d known how much you loved me
I wish I’d cared enough to know
I’m sorry every song’s about you
The torture of small talk
With someone you used to love
Well there you had it. Small talk? They hadn’t talked in years. And she already knew every song was total bullshit, made up longing. Some of his best lovelorn pandering (that she admittedly loved) had been written when he claimed to be incapable of actual love. When he would only sleep with dark-haired, dark-eyed girls who didn’t want anything more than a good breakfast the next morning.
(I’m not looking for a soulmate, darling, just a beauty without a gag reflex, he’d repeated on many occasions. Sometimes literally to the women he was hitting on. And yes, they did usually blow him afterward and he would inexplicably tell her and she Did. Not. Care.)
(Until the day she realized she always had.)
A week after he’d moved to Los Angeles had been the 4th of July. It being summer and most of her friends working various jobs, she didn’t think there would be a huge party. James had insisted, though, that they needed to celebrate the fact that their friends were getting famous. David had pointed out the irony that the band – Killian, Will, Robin, and Graham – were all from outside of the USA. And yet they were being celebrated on America’s birthday.
“Stealing things from others is the American way. Now drink, little brother!” James had shouted just before his frat brothers lifted him into keg stand position and he chugged.
Emma wasn’t one for keg stands, so she’d opted for drinking straight liquor instead, and from what she could extrapolate from the massive headache the next morning (in addition to the vomit in her bedside garbage can), she had likely drank that bottle in its entirety.
After the opening of Pandora’s box that fateful Friday the 13th, Emma couldn’t think of much else but her almost-maybe-something Killian Jones. Suddenly his stupid band was everywhere and that stupid song was everywhere and she was feeling a deep longing to connect with that girl who had two whole albums by two different bands written about her to see how the fuck she coped with old wounds being opened every fucking visit to the grocery store.
(Then again, Brand New and Taking Back Sunday weren’t quite so mainstream. Maybe that’s how she survived.)
(Is that what you call a getaway? Tell me what you got away with, cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish; I’ve seen more guts in 11 year old kids.)
She’d taken to keeping the radio off at all times, and humming the Star Spangled Banner when she couldn’t escape Killian’s stupidly attractive and all-too-familiar voice gracing the airwaves.
Ruby asked her out for drinks, and alcohol was exactly the cure for her current tumult, so she agreed on the very specific request that they hit the country bar downtown instead of their usual Rabbit Hole escapades. Which worked out great for avoiding song-specific reminders, but sadly didn’t keep all Killian talk at bay.
“By the way, how have you been holding up?” Ruby asked, probably in response to Emma’s downing two shots – one of which that had been intended for Ruby – in the first minute or so at the table.
“What do you mean, holding up?” She wasn’t that transparent, right?
“Well the song… the one Killian wrote about you. It’s, like… huge. Weird how he waited this long. Did he warn you first or anything?”
… what? It wasn’t about her. Sure, it kind of, a little bit, had some moments that seemed like they could be inspired by her. But it had been nine fucking years and she hadn’t seen him since the morning she slinked away from their house and it’s not like he’d ever reached out or anything (or at least he didn’t try very hard, because blocking a cell phone number wasn’t like blocking a whole-ass person), hence her nine years of denial and shoving down her feelings like the very opposite of the emo kid she once was.
She probably looked like that stupid meme of the lady thinking about math and her heart was beating nearly out of her chest, but somehow the only sound that made it out of her mouth was, “huh?”
Ruby, bless her heart, was much better at dealing with, you know, life than Emma was. And sorting through feelings and coping with unprecedented situations that Emma had so far only seen odd iterations of in Hallmark movies or … emo music videos, probably.
“The song. Fourth of July. It’s been a while since he wrote a song about you and I mean usually they were about pining for you, which is a little more tolerable, probably. But this one… I don’t know. I just figured you probably didn’t appreciate it, and that’s why you were drinking my shots.”
Another lame, dumbfounded response: “What? Killian’s never written a song about me.”
Ruby’s eyebrow shot up to her hairline (the way Killian’s always had when she said something silly). “So all that shit in college was…?”
“Made up! Ruby, he was a creative writing major. He just made up characters and then wrote songs as if he were them. He never actually wanted to date anyone. Just fuck anything that resembled Megan Fox.”
Ruby didn’t say a word. She stood, walked to the bar, ordered two drinks, and sat back down with Emma a few minutes later.
“Sweetheart. You sure are dumb for a smart girl.”
And that’s how Emma’s Enlightenment began.
As it turns out, Killian’s creative writing skills were great, but not quite as great as his love for his best friend.
Yep, love. Apparently he’d loved her.
There was a reason he’d really only fucked girls that looked nothing like Emma.
There was a reason he had valued her input so much in his music.
There was a reason he’d hung out with her so often and it had nothing to do with Mary Margaret and David’s grossness.
Keep quiet; nothing comes as easy as you. Can I lay in your bed all day?
Fuck.
“Why didn’t he tell me?!”
Ruby laughed at her, which was totally uncalled for, but also kind of made a lot of sense if she had the ability to think of any of this objectively.
“Oh, honey. He told you every goddamn day in those songs. And how he acted. You’d have to be blind to not realize how much that boy loved you. So he assumed it was a ‘no’ from your side. And then after you slept with him and then he poured his heart out to you and still nothing? That was kinda it for him. But I mean, it’s been so long. I can’t believe he released a song about that now.”
At that, Emma’s jaw dropped. Hard. There was an audible pop and damnit, she was going to have to ice that later, probably.
“How do you know I slept with him?!”
“… because you had a fight about it literally in front of every person you knew?”
HUH?
The buzz of the alcohol was nothing compared to the stinging behind her eyes and the pain in her gut and seriously had the past decade actually been a very different reality from what she’d been living?
And how had Mary Margaret, AKA the Secret Spiller, never told her that A) Killian loved her or B) that Emma had apparently had a blacked-out fight with him in front of everyone?
Emma’s Enlightment continued.
Apparently no one spilled the secret because no one knew it was a secret to start. Much like Killian had, everyone thought that Emma knew his feelings, but that she just wanted to be friends.
And after the blow up on the Fourth of July, they just assumed she didn’t want to talk about it.
While David and James and a bunch of their friends were playing beer pong and Mary Margaret and Regina were trying to find another pair to play cornhole, Emma had been nursing a bottle of Jack Daniels from the roof of the frat house. She’d crawled out of Jefferson’s window, much to his annoyance (he worked in the morning and needed to sleep), and she just watched. Everyone was having a good time. The best days of their lives were now or even tomorrow.
But hers were yesterday.
So she drank and she drank and she drank until the boys were lighting off fireworks and Belle had started a chant of USA! USA! And out of nowhere she saw the floppy brown hair and scuffed-up leather jacket she’d been wishing for every minute of the last week.
“Swan! I need to speak with you!” he’d called up at her, perched on the Lion statue at the front entrance.
But, of course, he’d been pulled in a thousand different directions as soon as everyone else saw their about-to-be-famous friend. So Emma drank and drank and drank some more, not prepared to actually have to say goodbye this time.
Ruby wasn’t sure how long it took until Killian made it onto the roof with her. She did know they’d only been talking a few minutes when Emma started screaming at the top of her lungs about thanks for the memories, even though they weren’t so great. That seemed to have really upset him, because then he started screaming about why the bloody hell did you sleep with me then and Emma had cried but ultimately said she didn’t mean to and he needed to just leave because that’s what he was going to do anyway and there was no reason to feel sorry for her.
There had been more screaming that wasn’t quite intelligible (thank goodness), but when all was said and done, Killian had told Ruby that he laid it all down on the line, how much he loved her, how he wanted her to go with him to LA, how he really would burn down the whole city just to show her the light, but she’d said no. Emphatically.
Before crying so hard in Jefferson’s closet that he threatened to take her to the ER. When Emma passed out, Killian had carried her to his car (the only sober one) and carried her into her room when they got to his now-former house, leaving her with a kiss on the cheek and his later assurance to Ruby that at least he had tried.
And Emma didn’t remember.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Emma muttered to Ruby.
Was there anything worse than finding out something that could have changed your life nine fucking years too late? She had never loved anyone like she’d loved Killian. It had been the easiest relationship of her existence. She’d never felt more safe, more valued, more… loved. But she’d thought it was friend-love.
(Even after the amazing sex.)
What a fucking dumbass she was.
Ruby left her to gather her thoughts/sulk in the corner for at least three line dances before she came back over to their table, bringing Emma a nice tall water as she cleared the un-drunk Long Island Iced Tea from next to Emma’s slumped head.
“I don’t think I can ever un-fuck this up,” Emma whined into her elbow before sitting up to chug the glass of water.
“I do have his number,” Ruby offered.
Hey um Ruby gave me your number and apparently I have a lot to apologize for
Congratulations on the fame also by the way I loved you every minute of every day
This is Emma, remember me? Apparently your song about me is doing really well
Hey Killian, I was wondering if you ever made it to this side of the country any more
I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry
After about 15 failed attempts to send him a message that would convey the depth of her regret, she nearly gave up. Hands shaking, legs bouncing, lunch threatening to make an encore appearance, she pulled up the lyrics to his new song, took a screenshot,
And all my thoughts of you
They could heat or cool the room
And now don’t tell me you’re fine
Oh, honey, you don’t have to lie
And added:
I’m not fine.
It was a very painful 26 hours before she received a response, a screenshot with an addition as well.
I said I’d never miss you, but I guess you’ll never know
Where the bridges I have burned never really led home
Can I come home?
They met outside the old frat house (now shut down) a week later, staying awake until sunrise just catching up on all that had happened since they last saw each other (and a little bit of what happened when they did). She brought sparklers and he brought nine years of unreleased song lyrics.
And when his band’s next single was called Opening Pandora’s Box on Friday the Thirteenth, well, everyone but Emma just thought they were being their usual melodramatic selves.
Yeah, songs about her weren’t all that awful after all.
#cs ff#cs au ff#cs au#keisha writes#things i love#captain swan#emo music#BAM I PUT THEM TOGETHER#if you like this let me know?#because I think we'd be friends
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EST (Part 1)
word count: 2204
WARNINGS: Drugs and Language
Please bear with my typographical and grammatical errors.
"Hello Colson, it's nice to see you again. How are you?" Dr. Martin greeted but my mind is somewhere.
"Colson?" She waved her hand and that's when I am cut off from my train of thoughts.
"Sorry. I'm....good." She gave me a troubled smile.
Dr. Martin is my therapist and will be my only therapist. She's Pete's therapist when he was in rehab and he recommended me when I came to realization that I need to get my shit together. I was hesitant at first cause she is a female but Pete convince me to try trust another female aside from Ashleigh and other close girls from my circle. Dr. Martin was patient since the start, she understand how fucked up I am. I've been trying to get help but after one session I give up. "So what happened?" She look at her charts. Our sessions were smooth. She got me to trust her and I've never felt relief than ever. "I.....well I tried being sober for a day. No alcohol, weed, coccaine, just cigarettes."
I tried. But the day felt long without my poisons.
"Okay, how did you feel?" I spaced out for a moment.
"It was horrible. It felt like a year but it wasn't so bad. I felt myself " Dr. Martin nodded.
"Uhuh. I know it's hard to get out from those habits Colson, but take it slow, the process is not overnight. For example, make a list of those habits and cross one out if you haven't done or take one in a day."
I really wanted to be better so I'll give it a try though I can't live without those sometimes.
"Okay. Next how about you? I mean you? Not your habits."
Me? How am I really?
"I......don't know doc, yesterday when I was sober I realized how lonely I was. All I want is a someone who understands me. Sees me as Colson not MGK. Someone who stays despite how fucked up I am. Listens to me when I rant. Takes care of me when I'm sick, holds my hand when I'm fighting my demons, tells me about her day. And loves me unconditionally." I sighed. Fuck this mommy issues.
Dr. Martin put down the chart she's holding.
"You know what, I remeber the nun said to me before. We are so focused and fixed to what we want that we didn't realize it was already given to us but in a different package. Anyways, that's all for now. I'll see you on thursday."
I shake hands with Dr. Martin and left her clinic. What does she mean by that? I shrug it off.
I got home with groceries. It's me being sober cause I realized I don't have anything in my fridge but booze.
"Colson, where have you---ohh." Ashleigh was shock to see me holding a bunch of grocery bags.
"Uhm need a little help Ash." Ashleigh helped me with some, putting all the bags on the kitchen counter.
"I can't believe this." She mumbled but I heard. "What? Is it bad? I don't have anything in my fridge."
Ashleigh shook her head in disbelief. "Whatever. Okay, I already arranged your schedule the whole off tour is yours and then I booked a trip to Germany. We're all having a break."
I look at her intently. Ashleigh's been my manager for almost 10 years and I couldn't be who am I right now if she didn't let me stay in their home.
"Thanks Ash. You're the best." I hug her she hugs me back.
"Colson, you're creeping me out. Are you dying?"
I laughed. As in laugh hard.
"No....oh my god. I'm just sober."
Ashleigh smiled in relief. "This is me saying thank you for staying."
A tear dropped fron the corner of her eye, she wiped it off and slaps my arm. "Stop it. Of course I know how fucked up you are and you can be. We're family here." I hug her again and we begin to put the items in place.
---------
"Ash. It's okay, I'll do it."
Ash is everywhere with her phone calling everyone to cancel my appearance in redfest.
"Dude. You can't even get up. It's your health that matters."
Slim scolded me. All of the EST family are here.
"I feel better now. We didn't travel overseas just to cancel." I force myself to get up. When I can manage they all nodded. Ash is on her phone again.
"Dude. Are you sure?" Rook taps my shoulder.
"God damn it, it's just sore throat and fever."
But it's not just sore throat and fever. It's my body reacting without drugs. I am tempted to take some line of coke but I remember I'm clean for 3 days.
"Rest dude. We still have 3 hours, don't worry about everything we got it." Slim patted my back.
"Thanks."
I slept the whole afternoon and Nicole my PA woke me up when its.
"Na ah. Chill, don't get up yet. There's plenty of time." Nicole is a very efficient assistant of mine, she's the longest assistant I had so far plus we don't have that sexual tension unlike my past assistants. She's nice and chill so we don't have a problem getting along, she's more like a sister to me. "I'm fine, I feel better now." She just shook her head. "Ashleigh strictly told me to take care of you while they take care of everything. So chill." She left the room and comes back later with a tray. "And you need to eat stubborn ass or you won't have energy for later." The tray contains a mac n' cheese, fajita and a soup. "I'll eat, now go away." She didn't budge and stayed on her place. Whatever, I let her be and I feasted on my food. The food tastes bland, maybe because I'm sick but I force myself to eat. Nicole played mother hen and took care of me, she even gave me an energy drink. "Drink this, instead of snorting some angel dust later." I uttered thanks and drink the drink. I feel better afterwards but I'm still sick and I think I'm going to puke. "Okay time for your make over." I got up from bed and went to backstage to change, the show is starting at 8 so I make it all quick. Everyone's busy in the backstage since it's not just me but Noah, Thugger and the others are also here too. "Kells! You okay now?" Noah went to me and greeted me with our handshake. "I feel like shit but I'm good."
The show started and Thugger hyped the crowd, thank god he's here and the crew or I'll be damned. Noah appeared also after Thugger and then it's my turn.
The show was hard and I almost forgot I'm not feeling well. I ran backstage after the encore, hyperventilating and nauseous, Rook ran after me and help me through the way. One of the crew placed an oxygen mask while I'm half running to the comfort room. I relaxed my breathing before removing the mask and puke my guts out.
"That's nasty." Rook commented but I just flip him off. I puke all the contents I ate in dinner and everything is yellow. Drei massaged my back while I puke and I couldn't thank him enough for that. "God damn you Colson and your stubborn ass."
I really wanted to lay on my bed. I feel sicker every minute.
"Kells. I got you." Didn't knew Noah followed us here. She has towel already and some wipes. She helped me clean my self and wrapped the towel around me. I'm half naked by the way.
"Where the fuck is Nicole, you aren't supposed to be here." Noah just rolled her eyes.
"Shut it. Just be glad a lot of people cares for you."
Everyone went to an after party that night while me I chose to stay in my bed and sleep.
---
"Colson! Thank god you answered!" Halsey called the next morning. I feel better now.
"What? Are you scolding me too?"
I can imagine her rolling her eyes.
"Of course! You should take care of your self! And I know you're stubborn and won't listen so I won't make anymore fuss about it. Anyways I'm in Australia with Evan. And guess what???? We're official!" I giggled at her enthusiasm, it's good to hear and see that she's happy with him. "Oh really? That's good to hear. We'll see each other when we're in LA. I'm happy for you Ash. Really." My past with Ashley/ Halsey was rough at the start, we're good now though and that's how look for each other telling about our days.
"Okay when are you coming back?" We're on our flight to LA now. "Well we've check in already. I'll text you when I'm at the states."
Our flight's being called and everyone settled already.
"Okay cool. Bye."
The flight from Dubai to LA took 16 hours and I realized I hated flights.
-----
We arrived at LA at 12 noon the next day, everyone was exhausted and went to their own places.
I was left alone in my house. I just lay there on my couch thinking of what happened these past few days when my doorbell rang. For sure it's just Slim or Rook forgetting something. They have their own keys so I don't know why they use the doorbell.
"I swear to god Rook if you're just going to ann--" I opened the door but no one is outside. I shrugged it off, maybe someone from the neighborhood just messing around.
I'm about to close the door when someone popped out from nowhere.
"Hi....hi oh my god wait." A girl maybe around 9 or 10? I dunno she's tall for 9 or 10, maybe 11?
"Hello. Uh sorry can't entertain fans right now. I'm not in the mood. Does your parents know you're here?" Tsk young fans can be agressive sometimes. This is not the first time.
"Uhm no. Actually one of my parent lives here. "
I look around if her parent's house is just around.
"Uh from what block?" I asked again. The kid might be selling girls' scout cookies. "Right in this house. Hi dad." She lunged me with a hug.
"I'm Casie by the way I'm your daughter." She said happily. I pulled her away from me. "Hey dude. I don't know who your parents are but I'm sure it's not me. " I laughed awkwardly. This kid is crazy, no one pops out of nowhere proclaiming they're my child. Man I should get used to this.
The kid pull something out from her bag. An envelope.
"What's this?" I asked when she hand it to me. "That's the proof that I am your kid." She shrug as if it's not a big deal. I open the paper and read all it's content searching for any discrepancy to prove she is not my kid. But there's nothing, it was stated in the document that I am the father. How the hell could this happened? "Is this a prank? Am I in some tv show or what?" I asked and scanned the area if there's any camera hidden. You gotta be serious, this ain't funny. "Do I look like I'm kidding? Okay, my mom is Emma she's from Cleveland and you two met at a Blink 182 song concert. Then poof! You had me."
Emma?? Wait what the fuck? Emma? As in Emma Cannon? "Shi----Shoot. Get inside kid." I let her in before someone sees or hear us. "Wait here and eat that." I offered her the pizza we brought home. I went to the kitchen to call Ashleigh. "Ashleigh! Oh my god I know we're all tired but what I will tell you will make your tiredness go away." I heard a baby's cry on the background, must be Ashton. "What is it kells? It's better be important." Ash sounds like she just woke up from a nap. "I have a kid. A daughter." Silence.
"What the fuck is that a joke? You called just for that?" I can tell she's pissed off but I am not joking right now. "I am not joking Ash. A kid showed up with documents, plus she's claiming Emma to be her mother." I heard her sigh. "Are you sure it's not some fan? Or a prank? Are the documents legal?" I rolled my eyes. "I'm stupid but I'm not dumb. So get your ass here and tell the others." I hang up before she can answer. I went back to the living room and the kid is still sitting there. "How did you got here?" I asked.
"Does your mother know you're here? And how old are you?" I met Emma 11 years ago so this kid must be around 10. "I'm 10, my school is just around here in LA, I'm in a boarding school by the way." She didn't answer my question but that explains why she's in LA. Why the hell Emma let her in a boarding school? She's just 10. "Mum visits me weekly, so no worries."
Damn now I have a kid.
#machine gun kelly#machine gunner#colson baker#est#slim#rook#bazexx#ashleigh#casie baker#kells#hotel diablo#redfest#estxx#mgkfanfic#mgk imagine#mgk
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