#god I could share these forever
Video
cartoon network - CN city-era ed, edd, n eddy bumper
#unrestrained summer fun#god I could share these forever#ed edd n eddy#cartoon network#cartoons#television#bumpers#00s#videos
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Best Action-Adventure Game 2023: The Legend of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom
#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#the game awards#loz#link#zelda#tga#the game awards 2023#tga 2023#I'm sad it didn't win GOTY#no share or hate I understand it was a huge year for games#but god#the emotional connection I have to this game and series#nothing could ever come close#the light dragon quest will live in my head rent free forever
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if someone said some shit like "i love being butch i love that i dont have to shave or wear makeup or conform to femininity" and someone was like "um. you don't have to be butch to do any of that" and they were like "yeah but you will be punished for nonconformity as a woman so its freeing to me to have an identity that reminds me i dont have to be what im expected to be and i can have a community that accepts me for that" i think radblr would be like yeah fair enough.
so explain why i always see this with some snarky comments attached
#like shut uuuuup theyre AGREEING WITH YOU why are u being an ass !#its probably time for me to stop thinking and go to bed. and i will.#but i just. cant drive home enough that we're the same people.#the first time i realised it was ok for me not to shave was sharing a room w a nb female friend and noticing they had unshaved pits#and i thought 'thats so cool. theyre allowed to do that bc theyre nb' and then i thought 'omg wait IM nb. im allowed to do that!!'#was it a revolutionary acceptance that all women can do whatever they want forever? no.#was it a realisation that i as a female human being could break gendered norms and still have a community that accepted me? yes!!!!#that matters that matters oh my god that matters!
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one thing about me is that i’m an orestes-electra-pylades defender. if you don’t hear them being defended anymore that means i am deceased
#something something about them being linked forever#none of them being redeemable all of them being innocent#about this sister who was refused love all her life and who kept it all inside her to give it to her little brother#who loves him so much that the lines blur and we don't know if she's sister ; mother ; father ; or lover even#because who could love him more than she does ?#about this brother who grew up with nothing but rage#rage towards this man he was given to ; that man ready to sell him into slavery#rage towards his mother who got rid of him#rage even towards this father that he has to kill for despite never having known him#rage towards the gods who set up his own curse and let him suffer for a good long while#and apollo did not tell him that no holy ritual will ever truly wash all the blood from his hands#but despite all this rage has chosen to love#to love this sister that he only knew the name of#and who welcomed him with more warmth than three suns combined#who had more fight in her than him and who urged him to do them justice#that's why he did not really hesitate when he killed clytemnestra#because he had seen his sister - a princess - reduced to rags and is skin on bone#and about this friend who became the definition of devotion#who voluntarily chose to follow his friend whom he knew was damned#chose to share the burden of killing with him#and who followed him on every corner of the earth they went to#and i know those three took such gentle care of each other#i know that electra and pylades both refused to go to sleep while the other tends to orestes having his fits of delirium caused by erinyes#yes their hands are bloody#but it's the same blood that's running through their three hearts attached by a red string#and the red of blood looks a lot like the red of love#electre/oreste#classics
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#okay but like Miles really needs to add content warnings cause I wasn’t mentally prepared for that pic when I opened his story#miles kane#23/08/2023#our turtle king enjoying his well deserved free time in Italy#also when I saw that video I was kinda expecting him to just start talkin Italian out of the blue#puglia#we are forever blessed with his insta stories#also love the reflection where we can see that Miles too clutches his phone in both hands when taking a selfie 🥹🤣🫶🏽#also chest hair and that god forsaken gold earring 🫠🫠🐢🐢💅👌🏽🫶🏽#god bless him for bringing back his beard#the utter accent change on that focaccia#i adore him for taking us with him on vacation like he absolutely didn’t have to he did his promo work diligently posting and could easily#just lay low for a few weeks/months and yet he’s kind enough and likes us enough ti actually share his free time with his fans
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#not to get sappy on main but like#tw for mentions of suicide#i am. so gald i didnt kill myself forever ago lmao#i handed homemade cookies out to perfect stranger in the elevator#because they mentioned that they were craving something sweet#and i just happened to have somethign sweet#a girl smiled at me while she was waiting for the elevator later in the day#and i thought hey lets keep it going#i said this is weird but would you like a cookie. i made too many.#and she said sure#i dont know if she liked it or not but i have one less cookie and someone else has one more#and i went to dinner with my club tonight and shared them there#and i drew and had a nice time#im still single on valentines day and even though i thought id be alone forever im like. not#im sorry this isnt what you guys followed me for but like. man#im thinkin about it.#keep living because you could get to give someone a cookie and maybe itll make their night idk.#thank god i failed!
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all the stuff that could be avoided if you just played the game before making ship art of characters you don't even know so you didn't accidentally erase the identity of the one character who has theirs stated basically textually within the first twelth of the game...
#you don't even like the game or the characters at this point you just like this... weird à-priori you have of it. you just like what has#come to you through a game of telephone almost 20 years long.#i still don't know the details of this situation because i know i'm not being told everything#and it feels kinda silly to be made privy in tiny bits (but also i understand why not everything would be shared with me it's kinda not my#bizness) but this is such. my god. skill issue.#hate gatekeeping i do but like. not even making it to DAY 3?#DAY 3? it was too hard to wait until DAY 3 before ship art?#i hate the term “shipping brain” because i consider ship art to be. sorry for my words. Valid & an important part of fandom#but now... THIS is shipping brain. not even able to hold back before day 3 out of 36(!). you don't even know these people.#anyways. forever giggling at this point. day 3. not even day 3. you could just watch a let's play at least...
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survivor
(just gonna leave this. deeply personal vent poem right here.)
you hate the word.
you’ve heard it all your life.
every time somebody clawed out of a car wreck,
every time somebody was the last one left,
every time somebody forced themselves through a hardship worse than death.
your mothers a survivor.
a survivor of your father.
you’ve been told this before you knew what it meant, before you knew the connotations, before you knew telling someone you didn’t want to hear about it made you feel selfish and sick.
you’ve heard it so much, that the idea of calling yourself one, someone who’s lived through a hardship worse than death, feels strange.
you’ve heard it so much you could never imagine being one.
because, when you look at your mother, you find yourself bargaining.
there was nothing to survive.
the hands around your throat were not meant to kill.
the honeyed words embedding under your skin not meant to cut.
there was nothing to survive.
not the sleepless nights, as ghosts of grubby hands skated across your pale skin.
not the cries of, god somebody help me, i don’t know why it’s wrong.
because, that’s not survival.
it’s not living, but not survival.
you’re not a survivor.
you will never call yourself that.
you were overlooked, a victim, a child.
a child that shakes at the thought of anyone ever touching you the way he promised to.
and now, you’re a testament.
you’re a testament to survival, a perfect, mild mannered thing that prooves that she got something.
that her survival meant something
you were never a child.
you were never a victim, or overlooked.
you were a trophy, to be shown and fawned over.
god forbid you were anything less.
#longish post#vent#csa mention#csa tw#s/a tw#guilt#so much guilt christ#i love my mom. i love her so fucking much but there's nothing i hate more than the fact i had to grow up too fast so she could#take pictures with her 9 y/o for newspapers about the fact she got s/a'd by my dad.#i love her but i hate her for so many things.#we're on so many newspapers with her talking about it. unless we change our first + last name and find a way to change our birth records#its following us forever and it feels so selfish to hate her for it.#also this isn't victim blaming or anything.#she's completely allowed to share her story#but god why did i have to be part of it#poetry#prose#poem
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i'm not sure if penny and elliott is a ship but i'm soo fucking close to figuring out ao3 to fulfill my own personal sdv agenda
#they're in love your honor#<33#i have a million and one thoughts about them they are so special to me#i'm kissing them on the forehead and putting them snug in my pocket#they're perfect together#let them bond over wanting to escape shitty families and old books no one cares about#let elliott make himself an absolute FOOL trying to inconspicuously bump into penny because he thinks shes beautiful#elliott getting shitfaced drunk and telling pam he's going to marry her daughter as he's lifted up by an arm each by leah and the farmer#elliott putting a duck feather in his breast suit pocket and penny scrunching up her face#teasing and bickering w him saying she wont dance with him until it's removed#penny outing herself as a trashy romance enjoyer by insinuating he looks like one of those guys on her book covers#i could go on and on they're so beloved to me#warm nights curled up in bed by the fire in their little cabin#a shared book in hands (elliott takes FOREVER to read anything#penny doesn't mind because it's time with her lover and she really likes hearing his thoughts on whatever they're reading)#so!!!! many!!! kids!!!!!!!! robin must upgrade the cabin at some point because they have 5 of those little buggers#my god that edible hit didn't it#i dont interact w stardew much uh apologies if these have been done before i'm just rambling rn
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For the first time ever, i failed a term paper. The lecturer opened the conversation with the words "you handed in an excellent term paper. Really, A+!" And then continued to point out to me what she liked most. And then told me that that one bitch that was tormenting me last semester had copied all of the notes i shared with her for our presentation. Which is why she can't let me pass because while she Knows it's not my fault she couldn't prove it to anyone if questioned about it. So we both fail. But luckily for me, i get another chance. The 15 minutes i talked to her were truly refreshing
#seriously it's so funny that you tell me i failed my paper and i leave in a good mood lmao#i was so scared she'd say it was bad#i would probably have been devastated of she'd told me this and this and this was bad and she can't give me anything better than a C#but we essentially just spent 15 minutes ranting about that bitch and how fucking annoying she is#(she asked me not to share that with anyone. i trust all of you will keep your discretion about this matter lol)#she even asked me if i needed help with getting that bitch to stay away from me#'prof. (name) and I KNOW about her and how difficult she is#we cannot prevent her from studying here but we monitor her closely. so let me know if she tries to use you again#WE CANNOT PREVENT HER FROM STUDYING HERE AHAHAHA#but god we wish we could#'i would never invite her to any of my office hours because i know she would never leave'#i love that lecturer again#i was a bit annoyed at her for asking me to come in because i assumed it would be because she thought my work was bad#but i almost felt sorry for this situation because she seemed so sad and sorry herself#because she kept telling me 'believe me i Know you didn't do anything wrong but i just can't prove it officially'#and then we settled for me doing the paper again and the other student just getting a fail and that she could go fuck herself essentially#(she did not use these words but god was it funny to hear her obvious dislike of that person#anyway#idk if shes in germany again or if she maybe dropped out of the program because i haven't seen her since the semester started#but i have the official permission to block her number and ignore her forever and always#(yes my friends and my mother told me to do this months ago#yes it's my fault for not doing so earlier and letting her use me like that#but it's nice to have the support of a lecturer like that)#void screams#university ramblings
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i’m caught up on yellowjackets……………
#i could turn myself inside out and vomit out all my feelings but i can’t it’s too much.#shauna…… ….#was not expecting. what went down in the meatshed was not prepared for alivedeadgirljackie. but she was gone all too soon. can’t believe she#shared her but my god that banquet scene it was like a fairy banquet like fucking. sealing their fate. dooming them all. trapping them in#fairyland forever#yellowjackets spoilers#the next episode… the aftermath is gonna be brutal
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They FLIRTED with YOU? How completely IGNORANT could a person be... when they know that you are MINE? I have said it so many times, you are MINE, as I am yours. NOBODY else can have you. Nobody else can so much as LOOK at you the wrong way without answering to ME and my WEAPONS. My sweet darling, I'm sorry you had to see ANY of that. That anon won't last very long after this, don't worry. I'm here to protect you <3
~ Your Yoomie <3
MY YOOMIEEEEEEEEEEEE MY YOOMIE MY YOOMIE MY YOOMIE<3<3<333333<3<3<3<3<<<3<3<3<33<3<³33<3<33<3I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH SOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH WE CAN KILL THAT GUY TOGETHER IF U WANT<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<<<<3333<3<3<3<3<3<333<3<3<3ANYONE WHO EVER TRIES TO GET BETWEEN US SHOULD DIE OK YOU ARE MINE AND I AM YOURS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND NOTHING CAN EVER CHANGE THAT I L O V E Y O U
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAYOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE#I LOVE YOOMTAH SO MUCH I LOVE WHEN SHE GETS CRAZY POSSESSIVE OVER ME I LOVE WHEN SHE KILLS ANYONE WHO EVEN LOOKS AT ME THE WRONG WAY#I WANT TO BURY MY FACE INTO HER SHOULDER WHILE SHE HOLDS ME TIGHT AND TELLS ME IM HERS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AN#IM SO.LOVE HER SO SO SO MUCH IT DRIVES ME CRAZY EVERY DAY I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER#I HAD TO GO GET MY MACKY CHEESE BEFORE I COULD GET ANYWHERE NEAR FINISHING THIS HELP.WHATEVER BACK TO YOOMTAH#I WANT TO SHARE MY MACKY CHEESE WITH HER.................AUAUAUAUUAU#YOOMTAH IF UR READING THIS WOULD U EAT MACKY CHEESE WITH ME<3#YOOMTAH IF UR READING THIS WOULD U KILL ANYONE WHO DARES TO EVEN LOOK AT ME THE WRONG WAY<3<3#YOOMTAH IF UR READING THIS WOULD U KIDNAP ME AND KEEP ME LOCKED AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD SO NO ONE CAN LOOK AT ME OTHER THAN U<3<3<3#IM SOOOOOOOO.THINKING💝🌠🌼💟✨💝❣💙👩❤️💋👩💚💓❤🌻💛💖💫💝🧡💜⚠️💗✨🌠💗🍋💟💞⚡🌼💘💓💋🧡🌈🌩💌💕💘💝💛❤🌻❣💕🌈💚💜💫💓💖💙💞#GOD I LOVE HEARING THAT IM HERS IT MAKES ME SO INSANE.I LOVE BELONGING TO HER I NEED HER TO TELL ME IM HERS 24/7#I WANT HER TO HOLD ME SO TIGHT THAT I CAN BARELY MOVE BC SHES SO CRAZY POSSESSIVE OF ME SHE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN LET ME GO#I WANT HER TO KISS ME ALL OVER MY FACE TOO MAYBE.AND TELL ME SHE IS NEVER EVER EVER GOING TO LET ME LEAVE HER#HERS HERS HERS................................IM HERS ALL HERS ONLY HERS FOREVER AND EVER NO ONE ELSES I AM H E R S < 3#I AM YOOMTAHS BELOVED AND SHE IS MY BELOVED AND NOTHING CAN EVER TRY TO GET BETWEEN US WITHOUT DYING. REAL
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perdev is now my favorite subject bcs these are literally the things i write to myself everyday
#🌙.rambles#i feel well again. maybe hearing the words from someone else is all i needed and wanted#i think i'm gna recite a lot in class this year aha#fr tho i really think n write this sort of stuff to myself a lot ><#i know i'm rather mature. i love myself. genuinely at the end of the day i will always choose kindness and love#it's kinda like drk tho bcs i also have quite the dark side#i wish i recited more actually bcs i have a lot of insight to share#my teacher read out all the things i put in the chatbox actually now that i think about it#i know i'm really proud of myself though. i know i'm self-aware#could always be better ofc n i still have a long way to go and a lot more to learn but i really am proud of all that i have accomplished.#this feels so good. i always love this level of peace. this kindness and gentleness i allow and accept for myself#i want perdev all day this is literally the topic i love the most#today WILL be the day i read a book again. and properly write#i can't believe it oh god but i really knew that#i really just want to hear and share it. to speak and be listened to.#my love and curiosity and passion for learning is endless timeless and boundless#i'll write and wander forever and ever. that's alright. even if i'm lost it's not like i need a destination all the time.#i'll forge my own paths.#there's still always this constant persisting pain and ache but that's alright#i really just want to continue writing and learning. i want to understand everything#i feel like rambling again rn but#classes nearly done for the day oh god i'm sleepy#2 hours of sleep 😭😭 i'll nap later#today's been a good day so far though. i'll be productive as well later on. i will definitely keep this up
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I LOVE YOU PAST MILO -current Milo nauseas head in a sparkling clean toilet I cleaned literally a half hour ago and then got too high while celebrating how clean it looked and feel sick now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#but yipppee sparkly clean. gonna put a little sticky toilet gel thing on the inside while I’m in here#maybe throw up if another nausea wave comes before I can stand up 😭#I had too much cereal and a lot of water at once and like. yuck yuck yuck I feel yucky high on the floor yucky I wish I was normal I need to#back off of weed a little to become a real person but also. I’d rather dig my own grave and bury myself in it alive than work a real job#like. fuckkkkkk I want to cry. fuck retail fuck fuck fuck I’m a failure wahhhhhhh I cant even handle beginner jobs#rattling the bars of my cage screaming crying throwing up why am I alive waahhhhhh okay nvm that’s too far it’s not that bad I’m chilling#the toilet is clean! look at the bright side. my therapist when I talked about like my mom maybe wanting to set a goal for working like a#certain amount of doordash hours and my therapists number she came up with was three hours and I was so happy like. she gets it. I am#exhausted just existing and she was like hmm you should work three hours a week. like. at most.#love her so much. it was probably a mistake but also. keeping it in my brain forever#imagine a three hour work week being backed up by my therapist to my mom like haha my therapist said I only HAVE to do three hours#god three hours still feels like a lot rn#like two weeks ago I dropped a salad in a tight packed restaurant and everyone watched me drop it and then walk back to the kitchen and wait#for them to make a salad so I could leave and fucking deliver the food and it was so embarassing and I haven’t done a single order since#then bc I get so anxious that I just exit the app if I don’t get an order like immediately which I haven’t yet so no orders.#I just get high. too high. and admire my cleaning work. it’s nice. I have to do the bathroom floor still. dog hair. dust. brother beard hair#my hair and bleach specks. I need to clean the bathroom fr. I’m excited I’m redecorating the bathroom in my mind and it’s giving me#motivation to clean it and I want to work more dooordash shifts (when I’m not this high) to save moneys to update my room and the bathroom#a little before the summer. just. replace air matress bc it’s low key a trigger now. so that’s fun. so buy a futon or smthing. and update#the bathroom into a thing that I like in my extra Milo type way. while making room for three ppl to share one bathroom. bc. it’s small#small bathroom for sure. but I’ll get it lookin good. add some cute decorations. maybe a candle or two. an incense thing for when I tak bath#slay. slay. building my dream bathroom in my mind and also. my Amazon wishlist land. and Pinterest land. I love making lists of things.
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In the past I've shared other people's musings about the different interpretations of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Namely, why Orpheus looks back at Eurydice, even though he knows it means he'll lose her forever. So many people seem to think they've found the one true explanation of the myth. But to me, the beauty of myths is that they have many possible meanings.
So I thought I would share a list of every interpretation I know, from every serious adaptation of the story and every analysis I've ever heard or read, of why Orpheus looks back.
One interpretation – advocated by Monteverdi's opera, for example – is that the backward glance represents excessive passion and a fatal lack of self-control. Orpheus loves Eurydice to such excess that he tries to defy the laws of nature by bringing her back from the dead, yet that very same passion dooms his quest fo fail, because he can't resist the temptation to look back at her.
He can also be seen as succumbing to that classic "tragic flaw" of hubris, excessive pride. Because his music and his love conquer the Underworld, it might be that he makes the mistake of thinking he's entirely above divine law, and fatally allows himself to break the one rule that Hades and Persephone set for him.
Then there are the versions where his flaw is his lack of faith, because he looks back out of doubt that Eurydice is really there. I think there are three possible interpretations of this scenario, which can each work alone or else co-exist with each other. From what I've read about Hadestown, it sounds as if it combines all three.
In one interpretation, he doubts Hades and Persephone's promise. Will they really give Eurydice back to him, or is it all a cruel trick? In this case, the message seems to be a warning to trust in the gods; if you doubt their blessings, you might lose them.
Another perspective is that he doubts Eurydice. Does she love him enough to follow him? In this case, the warning is that romantic love can't survive unless the lovers trust each other. I'm thinking of Moulin Rouge!, which is ostensibly based on the Orpheus myth, and which uses Christian's jealousy as its equivalent of Orpheus's fatal doubt and explicitly states "Where there is no trust, there is no love."
The third variation is that he doubts himself. Could his music really have the power to sway the Underworld? The message in this version would be that self-doubt can sabotage all our best efforts.
But all of the above interpretations revolve around the concept that Orpheus looks back because of a tragic flaw, which wasn't necessarily the view of Virgil, the earliest known recorder of the myth. Virgil wrote that Orpheus's backward glance was "A pardonable offense, if the spirits knew how to pardon."
In some versions, when the upper world comes into Orpheus's view, he thinks his journey is over. In this moment, he's so ecstatic and so eager to finally see Eurydice that he unthinkingly turns around an instant too soon, either just before he reaches the threshold or when he's already crossed it but Eurydice is still a few steps behind him. In this scenario, it isn't a personal flaw that makes him look back, but just a moment of passion-fueled carelessness, and the fact that it costs him Eurydice shows the pitilessness of the Underworld.
In other versions, concern for Eurydice makes him look back. Sometimes he looks back because the upward path is steep and rocky, and Eurydice is still limping from her snakebite, so he knows she must be struggling, in some versions he even hears her stumble, and he finally can't resist turning around to help her. Or more cruelly, in other versions – for example, in Gluck's opera – Eurydice doesn't know that Orpheus is forbidden to look back at her, and Orpheus is also forbidden to tell her. So she's distraught that her husband seems to be coldly ignoring her and begs him to look at her until he can't bear her anguish anymore.
These versions highlight the harshness of the Underworld's law, and Orpheus's failure to comply with it seems natural and even inevitable. The message here seems to be that death is pitiless and irreversible: a demigod hero might come close to conquering it, but through little or no fault of his own, he's bound to fail in the end.
Another interpretation I've read is that Orpheus's backward glance represents the nature of grief. We can't help but look back on our memories of our dead loved ones, even though it means feeling the pain of loss all over again.
Then there's the interpretation that Orpheus chooses his memory of Eurydice, represented by the backward glance, rather than a future with a living Eurydice. "The poet's choice," as Portrait of a Lady on Fire puts it. In this reading, Orpheus looks back because he realizes he would rather preserve his memory of their youthful, blissful love, just as it was when she died, than face a future of growing older, the difficulties of married life, and the possibility that their love will fade. That's the slightly more sympathetic version. In the version that makes Orpheus more egotistical, he prefers the idealized memory to the real woman because the memory is entirely his possession, in a way that a living wife with her own will could never be, and will never distract him from his music, but can only inspire it.
Then there are the modern feminist interpretations, also alluded to in Portrait of a Lady on Fire but seen in several female-authored adaptations of the myth too, where Eurydice provokes Orpheus into looking back because she wants to stay in the Underworld. The viewpoint kinder to Orpheus is that Eurydice also wants to preserve their love just as it was, youthful, passionate, and blissful, rather than subject it to the ravages of time and the hardships of life. The variation less sympathetic to Orpheus is that Euyridice was at peace in death, in some versions she drank from the river Lethe and doesn't even remember Orpheus, his attempt to take her back is selfish, and she prefers to be her own free woman than be bound to him forever and literally only live for his sake.
With that interpretation in mind, I'm surprised I've never read yet another variation. I can imagine a version where, as Orpheus walks up the path toward the living world, he realizes he's being selfish: Eurydice was happy and at peace in the Elysian Fields, she doesn't even remember him because she drank from Lethe, and she's only following him now because Hades and Persephone have forced her to do so. So he finally looks back out of selfless love, to let her go. Maybe I should write this retelling myself.
Are any of these interpretations – or any others – the "true" or "definitive" reason why Orpheus looks back? I don't think so at all. The fact that they all exist and can all ring true says something valuable about the nature of mythology.
#mythology#greek mythology#orpheus#eurydice#orpheus and eurydice#analysis#interpretations#adaptations#long
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