Point of View

Akhir2 ini sempet beberapa kali liat video dengan nuansa sama. Judulnya "PoV anak rewel suami marah2 tapi saldo ATM 5M". Ada beberapa versi yang dibuat sama orang2. Pesannya sama, bedanya paling ada di angka M nya ; ada yang 5M, 2M, 3M, dll.

Singkat cerita video itu memperlihatkan ibu2 lagi gendong/nemenin anak yang lagi tantrum. Sambil full senyum tanpa jeda. Nah yang menarik, di kolom komentar hampir semua sepakat sama PoV tersebut.

Di awal mungkin kita juga secara refleks membenarkan hal tersebut ya. Termasuk saya. Sempet ketawa juga. Apalagi di kondisi yang lagi benar2 sulit dalam hal finansial. Merasa relate dan ada temennya.

Sampai saya tertegun oleh salah satu komentar "Akhirnya terkuak ya rahasia gentle parentingnya Nikita Willy"

Saya nggak tau... Apa sayanya aja terlalu nganggep serius konten yang niatnya mungkin hanya guyon ini?

Tapi di lubuk hati terdalam.... kok saya merasa direndahkan ya sebagai perempuan.

Mengasuh dan mendidik anak dengan penuh kesabaran itu kan sebuah keharusan. Karena anak adalah amanah dari Allah yang harus dijaga sebaik mungkin. Lagipula, Allah juga telah menciptakan fitrah seorang perempuan itu penuh kasih sayang. Ssetidaknya kadar/potensi kelembutan perempuan terbukti lebih besar daripada laki2.

Tapi dengan adanya konten seperti itu --dan banyak yang setuju, maka sama saja dengan perempuan mengkerdilkan dirinya sendiri.

Padahal seorang ibu, terlepas dari kondisinya (ekonomi) seperti apa selalu bisa menjadi mulia karena tugas yang diembannya.

Padahal seorang ibu, atas segala pengorbanan dan jasanya, tak kan bisa terbayar oleh saldo rekening berapa-M pun!

Baru sanggup lemah lembut ketika segalanya melimpah.

Baru bisa bersabar ketika rekening unlimited.

Baru mau senyum ketika punya semuanya.

Seriously, ini sama sekali tidak lucu :( emang boleh hubungan ibu-anak setransaksional itu?

Jujur yang saya khawatirkan, banyak ibu2 yang seolah mendapatkan validasi atas sikapnya yang kurang patut pada anak dengan dalih "Ya iyalah, gw kan bukan Nikita Willy yang gak mikir besok mau makan apa"

Semoga memang hanya saya yang terlalu serius terhadap konten bercandaan ini.

Semoga ibu2 yang menonton konten tersebut paham bahwa kaya raya bukanlah syarat untuk menjalankan peran terbaik sebagai ibu.

Karena apapun dan bagaimanapun kondisinya, naluri seorang ibu, selalu ingin melakukan dan memberikan yang terbaik untuk anak2nya.

Powerful words by @australianpsychologist 🙌 #selfhealers #gentleparenting #innerchild #positiveparenting #consciousparenting #childhood #consciousfamily #unschooling #unschool #homeschool #homeschooling #reparenting #kidswellness #montessori #montessorifrombirth #montessoriaustralia #montessoritoddler #reggioinspired #reggiokids #rieparenting #empathy #attachmentparenting #healing #melbournemum #sydneymum #brisbanemums #perthmumsandbubs #tasmaniamums #adelaidemums https://www.instagram.com/p/CnrK0TJS7B8/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Currently binge rewatching old Jenna and Julien videos and watching Jenna gentle parent her dogs makes me feel so safe and happy tbh

What is something that you intentionally model for your child/ren?⁣ ⁣ Swipe to see @mombrain.therapist's original post and my inspo.⁣ ⁣ •⁣ •⁣ •⁣ ⁣ #parenting #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #coparenting #caregivers #caregiversupport #guardians #stepparenting (at Bearly Articulating) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpAGnz-udSq/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Me trying to gentle parent the weather:

I'm really proud of you for showing how you feel with all the colours on the trees! That's so special to share with us. We just have to remember that when we make it very cold outside that can hurt our friends. What if we try blowing around some of these leaves that are already on the ground instead of ripping them off the branches?

Gentle Parenting: Does It Really Have A Kick?

Entry #9: 300522

My parents had me when they were only 21. Growing up, I couldn't help but notice how me and my sisters were raised differently. Just to give a quick background, my parents separated when I was still a kid while my sister was barely 1. We both stayed with our dad while we were only allowed to visit my mom several times a year. As the first-born daughter, I can say that I grew up to be modest, quiet, reserved but liberated, and independent. My mom and dad did some family planning when they were still together and for years, I was an only child. When I started attending kindergarten, my dad would always help me do my assignments at night before bedtime. Everytime that I would have a hard time understanding something, he would patiently explain it to me. He taught me to be resourceful. For example, if I am having a hard time drawing a man, he would suggest that I should trace an illustration from my books. He would teach me how to do maths the easy way because he's a math genius. He taught me how to write ‘beautifully’ because his penmanship is very pretty. And no matter how much I cry at night, he wouldn't do my assignments. He reasoned that I should learn how to do things on my own. We wouldn't sleep until I finished all my assignments and we always get to finish all of it before 9 pm. He was so strict when it comes to bed times. If he says that I should be asleep at 9, then I should sleep at 9. Although during the weekends, he would allow me to stay up until 10 pm so that I can watch this horror movie on Channel 5 with him and mom. Everyday, he would cook breakfast for me and prepare my lunch box. Whenever I would say that I don't like the food, he would say "tikman mo muna, bhe" (come and taste it first, bhe) and I would realize that it's actually delicious. He was also strict when it comes to unhealthy food like crisps and confectioneries. I could only have a biscuit if I get to finish my meal and I was only allowed to eat sweets twice a week. He would iron my uniform and fix my hair every morning. My favourite was when he would use a headband to keep my hair from my face. Whenever I would make a mistake, he never shouted nor hit me with a belt or slippers. He said that violence cannot be considered as ‘discipline’. He would just look at me intently and I would know that I am doing something wrong. Instead of being scared, I would just do the peace sign before giving him my biggest smile and he would just say "tsk tsk". Once a month, we would hold a family meeting wherein he would ask me about the things that I enjoyed doing for that month, things that I didn't like doing, things that I would like to do again, and so on and so forth. Clearly, we had a proper communication in our household. He never pressured me to be an honour student. He never put expectations on me because as long as I do my best, it is enough for him already. A 75 would be satisfactory to him as long as I have I don't have attitude issues. This is his definition of "well-mannered is better than educated people". Whenever I would cry, he would ask me why I'm crying and comfort me until I feel better. He would allow me to go out as long as I text him where I am and go home before 9 pm. I remember when I was still doing ftf classes, my dismissal would be at 5 pm but I would always go home around 8 pm. Everytime that he would ask why I am out so late, I would just tell him that I was with my friends while giggling and he'd say "Okay okay, umakyat ka na at maglinis ng katawan tapos magpahinga na" (Okay okay, go upstairs and take a bath then rest already). It wasn't until this year that I saw the disappointment in his face because of a mistake that I did. He said he wouldn't mind it if I fail my classes, as long as I try my best to attend them and not ditch them. He wasn't exactly prohibiting me from being absent, it's just that he would prefer it if I would open up to him about why I want to skip class so that he can make an excuse letter for me. But for a month, I skipped my classes and never told him anything. I could see that I was in the wrong but still, he chose to listen to me before giving me his insights. He didn't shout at me, he talked to me calmly. Everyday for the past 5 years, he would say goodbye to me and my sister before he go to work. 

"Bye, ate. Bye, bunso. Aalis na ako. Huwag magpupuyat, ha? I love you, kumakain kayo ng dinner." (Bye, *honorific for the eldest daughter*. Bye *honorific for the youngest child*. I'll get going. Don't stay up too late, huh? I love you, eat dinner!!)

One of my favourite things that dad implemented in our family is the ‘monthly allowance’. It's not only about our school allowance but it's enough to buy our wants in our everyday lives. We learned how to budget money so that it will be enough until the next time that dad will give us an allowance. Dad reasoned that we should start learning about this early so that we can easily adjust to adulthood. It's like micromanagement. Dad still has the control when it comes to our house bills while we have the control on how we would spend our money. At some point, it teaches us how to save money, too. 

Meanwhile, mom is liberated. She is like my best friend. She supports me in everything that I want to do. She encourages me to exercise and eat healthy food. Aside from that, she also encourages me to join competitions and clubs. She said that I will never know if I can do something if I won't even try it in the first place. She's always there to make me try things that are outside of my comfort zone. She believes in me and wants me to pursue what is best for me. Whenever I am hungry, no matter how tired she is from her 12-hour-shift, she would always cook food for me. And no matter how sick she is from eating spaghetti, if I say that I am craving for it, then she'll cook it for me. She's the one who inspired me to start cooking. She made cooking enjoyable for me. One of my favourite moments of us is when it is her day-off and we would cook meals together. While doing that, we would talk about my school life, my life at dad's, Leslie or Leisha, my crushes, my new hobbies etc. It's like there's a fiesta (feast) everytime that we would cook together because we tend to cook 2 to 4 things just for ONE meal. As a woman herself, my mom was also the one who taught me about proper hygiene. When I started High School, she started introducing me to lotions, face washes, shaving, and many more. I also remember when I was still in sophomore year and I had no confidence to wear anything other than jeans and the same 5 pairs of tees. She was the one who never got tired of telling me that I should explore different fashion styles while I am still young and that it is perfectly fine for a teenager like me to wear crop tops and skirts. Who would've thought that a few years later, her daughter would grow up to be the self-proclaimed it-girl of their family? 

I also remember the time when my mom found out that I've been starving myself for almost a month. I lost 10 kgs and was close to being underweight because I was so self-conscious of how I used to look like. Ever since then, she would make sure to ask me if I already ate my meals and if I say no, she would buy me food right away. She didn't care if it will cost a lot of money, all she wanted was to take care of me. 

Now I must say that not all of these were applied to my sisters. One would always be ignored while the other was raised in a not-so-gentle environment unlike me. The difference between the three (3) of us is the fact that I grew up to be less independent of my parents because I was taught about the basic skills needed to survive in our society while they only know less than half of what I know when I was their age. The middle child grew up to be distant while the youngest was literally raised with the use of gadgets and other materialistic things. As a result, I often feel the need to guide the two of them so that they wouldn't be behind me. I know that they can do what I can and even surpass me sometimes. They have their own strengths and I plan to use that to my advantage. I can incorporate those interests to help them with the things that they need to know as they grow up. I am not saying that I am the best-raised child in our household but I'm just saying that maybe I can make them experience the gentle-parenting that I got to experience and still currently experiencing. Afterall, I am technically their 2nd parent at home when our parents are not present. To answer that question, I believe that gentle parenting really has a kick. It is the 21st century and it is also the time for us to break the societal norms. The right to a common good: every individual has the responsibility to fulfill that will lead to a common good of the community. Do not be afraid of being different for change is the only thing that is constant in this world.

If I ever adopt children, I’m going to only give them toys that I horribly mutilate into some terrifying Toy Story Sid creation

“How your child treats you will not determine how they treat the rest of the world. Instead, how you treat your child will determine how they treat the rest of the world and themselves.” J. Milburn⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ We are their safe place. Children don’t typically act the same with other authority figures, as they do with their parents. There is a connection and trust there that allows them to feel safe enough to crumble into our arms. They throw dirt at us because they know we are the only one’s who care to know what’s hidden in the debris. Disrespectful behaviour is usually misunderstood behaviour. It’s usually communication. It’s not a character defining moment when your child is emotionally dysregulated. We all become dysregulated at times. It’s important to normalize those feelings and model how to process emotions and offer grace. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I discuss this further in my latest e-book 👇⁣⁣ ⁣ Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣ ⁣ Link in bio @responsive_parenting or on the Website: responsiveparentinginspirations.com⁣ ⁣ #ResponsiveParenting #JMilburn #ParentMentalHealth #MaternalMentalHealth #PostPartum #MensMentalHealth #ParentingLife #HealingJourney #GentleParenting #AttachmentParenting #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #Parenthood #SelfHealing #SelfCompassion #EarlyChildhood #ChildDevelopment #PTSD #CPTSD #ChildhoodMemories #Triggers #HoldingSpace #SelfRegulation #Empathy #UnconditionalLove #Parent #KidLife #AlwaysLearning #PTSDAwareness https://www.instagram.com/p/Cg2Zz38p298/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#162 , DOGS COLOR NFT , gentle doggy , gentle guard dog , gentle police dog , gentle dog

As moms of young girls, we understand the worry that many parents have about how to help create healthy eating habits and body image.⁠ ⁠ We also know we will have to combat the messages our girls will eventually hear about beauty, eating, and thinness.⁠ ⁠ This study shows that this work has to start even earlier than many of us realize.⁠ ⁠ This study by Lowes and Tiggmann found that girls begin to desire a thinner body than what they currently have starting at age 6!⁠ ⁠ They also found that girls’ body dissatisfaction was associated with how they perceived their mom’s body dissatisfaction. This means that if girls felt their mom didn’t like her own body, they were less likely to like their body, and vice versa.⁠ ⁠ This study also showed that girls reported that their parents were more controlling of their eating behaviors compared to boys.⁠ ⁠ So what can we do?⁠ ⁠ 1️⃣ Avoid negative comments about your own body and other people's bodies.⁠ 2️⃣ Comment on non-appearance related things more than appearance. Talk about what your and your child’s body can do rather than what it looks like.⁠ 3️⃣ Be aware of your own diet and body talk!⁠ ⁠ #bodyimagehealing #bodyimageissues #gentleparenting #positiveparenting #eatingdisorderrecovery #disorderedeating #raisinghealthykids #raisingcapablekids #raisinghealthyeaters #beautyredefined #raisinggoodkids #consciousparenting #healthykids #momlife #mommingainteasy #momofgirls #dietculture @helpingfamiliesthrive (at 𝖣𝖨𝖤𝖳 𝖬𝖴𝖬 𝖱𝖤𝖯𝖤𝖠𝖳) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ccw9HBYN0bs/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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I want you to stay little, and I want to watch you grow.

And I want to remember your song, drifting down the hallway,

even the one at night.

Accompanied by the pitter patter of feet before I lift you into our bed.

And when I need a moment,

I’ll still keep you near, before this moment disappears.

So stay little, will you?

But please grow, and grow.

So one day, as you tower above me, I may rest my head on your chest instead.

I wonder what that will be like.

How that could even be possible when right now we play ice cream trucks, and your bottom lip still drops.

Will I remember the days I stood up even when I fell short?

Will I remember how hard and beautiful they were?

Can you stay little a bit longer?

But I love watching you grow.

Yes you can help me with the washing,

it’s OK you dropped it, let’s dust it off.

Yes you are a great helper, more than you’ll ever know.

I’ll read that book again, and again.

I’ll watch the expressions you make before you’re able to choose them.

I’ve never smiled in the morning so much until we met.

And you can walk with me before our path splits in two.

You can hold my hand before you let it go.

I’ll always remember you this little.

But I can’t wait to watch you grow.

……………………..

Words: @jessurlichs_writer

An important reminder via @biglifejournal. Swipe to read all the slides 🤗 The way we speak to our kids becomes their inner voice 💕 #awareparenting #gentleparenting #innerchild #positiveparenting #consciousparenting #childhood #consciousfamily #unschooling #unschool #homeschool #homeschooling #reparenting #kidswellness #montessori #montessorifrombirth #montessoriaustralia #montessoritoddler #reggioinspired #reggiokids #rieparenting #empathy #attachmentparenting #healing #melbournemum #sydneymum #brisbanemums #perthmumsandbubs #tasmaniamums #adelaidemums https://www.instagram.com/p/CgMea_FPvgB/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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How to Handle a Temper Tantrum: A Comprehensive Guide

A temper tantrum is a sudden and intense outburst of anger, frustration, or emotional distress typically displayed by children, especially toddlers and preschoolers. These outbursts can involve crying, screaming, kicking, hitting, and even throwing objects.

Certainly, here are five strategies to handle temper tantrums in children, and if you need further guidance, you can consider seeking counseling help through platforms like TalktoAngel:

Stay Calm: It's important for adults to remain calm when a child is having a tantrum. Your calm demeanor can help de-escalate the situation and serve as a model for the child to learn how to manage their emotions.

Offer Distraction: Sometimes, redirecting the child's attention to something else can help diffuse a tantrum. Engage them in a different activity or provide a favorite toy to divert their focus.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise and reward good behavior. Positive reinforcement can motivate the child to exhibit appropriate behavior and reduce the frequency of tantrums.

Teach Emotional Regulation: Help the child understand and express their emotions in a healthy way. Encourage them to use words to communicate their feelings and provide guidance on coping strategies.

If you find that temper tantrums are persistent and affecting your child's well-being or family dynamics, seeking counseling help through platforms like TalktoAngel can provide you with professional guidance and strategies to address underlying issues and improve your child's emotional and behavioral development.