You don't understand

That's what you said earlier, which could be partly true and I'd be lying if I wouldn't say that doesn't hurt. But I've known you for more than 2 years now, I probably know you more better than anyone, I know when you're mad or litol angy, I know if you're sad and not feeling well, I know how well you wanna be dependent, and tho am not sure what really happened, pero I have a gist of what it is, cuz as you said, you're tired of things happening over and over again. But that's not all, I also know we'd come to this time, unto this point wherein we'd split of eventually, as you said gani, you tend to be reckless and easily get tired of shits, but idk, I don't really think you're tired of us, cuz kahapon, specially that around 2am, where you talk half asleep na, you had a lot of typos and all that, it did felt so damn good, it felt like home, us together, living the best of our lives. But I also know man sad na there are times it ain't gonna go that well, na it'll suck and all that, that eventually, we'll get back to rock bottom, over and over again. And I'm prepared for that, I'm ready to be there for you, to fight with you, to take stand right here, right now, right next to you, over the years, I've prepared myself for such na, cuz I know, what happened last July and last March, will eventually, gonna happen again, I just don't know it'll be this early. But I did mess up on that one I could've helped you with, and am forever sorry for what happened, I told you I'd be there, I'd be next to. I'm really sorry :((( I couldn't be there with you that night :(( it could've been muchie better for you, we could've even overcome this :((( Sorry, I couldn't get you to trust me more, I failed you once, or probably even more than that, kaya now, idk. But even still, I do understand you man, I get it you don't wanna be dependent, I know why you wanna just eat it all up and suffer alone, I know you damn too well :((( kaya I really couldn't let you go, I don't want you to suffer, to go through all of those you are dealing with alone :((( but idk, am sorry for earlier, I was a little bit too much, tho tis probably inevitable for us to separate na but atleast :((( I could've done it muchie better, but idk, am always caught by your surprise man lagi, tho am not complaining ha? It just never gets old, and that's okay, I do understand you, but ya know, I'm not just your boyfriend diba? I'm one of your besties and a friend :((( tis not a big deal or whatnot man for me to help you out on your problems, cuz you do the same for me man sad :(( tas now you'll say you don't want me madamay when am already involved. Darling, tis not just the warmth, the comfort, the homey feeling that I want. I want you Jessiney, you, your storm, your rainy days, your problems, I wanna be involve, I wanna be there next to you throughout your battles :(( you don't have to rely on me, but you know, at least, you have someone to cover your back, you have someone to talk to, someone to just simply sit with at hard times. But idk. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. I did even gave you cold shoulder kanina as we end the conversation, I haven't even said goodbye :((( am sorry, I really just can't let you go :((( I even force you to some dumb agreement. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for not being there on that one cold rainy night too. I'm sorry, I just truly love you. :((( But just know, if you ever need someone, for whatever reason that is, am here, not always but I'll try to be there. Kaya despite now na you think we ended, I hope you still think of me as a best friend, or at least even a friend, someone you can lean on. I love you. I hope with this decision you've made, if I'm better off meant you'll be better. I hope it gets better. If it does not, please come back :((( I'll be waiting, I hope you don't give up on your dreams, our dreams. I love you