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#gaius you son of a bitch
absolutebuffoonery · 9 days ago
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PT 3 (including finale): I convinced my dad to watch merlin with me and here’s what he has to say
pt 1
pt 2
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“They’re loving that.”
“I don’t even wanna know what they’re doing in there.”
-When Merlin and Arthur get caught in the net booby trap
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Arthur, to Merlin: You’re the only friend I’ve got and I couldn’t bear to lose you. 
Dad: *literally gasps and gapes at me in surprise*
Merlin: Really?
Arthur: Don’t be stupid. 
Dad: *laughs hysterically*
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*uther emerges from the veil*
“Wow, of all the dead people, he got the right guy”
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“Was that a reference to fisting?” -the horseplay scene when Arthur threatens Merlin with his fist 
-
“Okay that was pretty gay.”
(I don’t even remember what he was talking about here, but he was right)
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“Arthur’s unconscious again, alert the media.”
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“I really don’t know what to make of Mordred.” 
(whenever he said something like this I had to hold in an earth-shattering screech)
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“Okay, this son of a bitch has to die” -About Mordred, s5e12
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“I am OBSESSED with her.” -about Gwen after she runs someone through with a sword in s5e12
(same)
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Arthur: “Just... hold me.”
Dad: *just nods his head*
(I think he was simply acknowledging the queerness)
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Arthur, during That scene in s5e13: I want to say something that I’ve never said to you before.
Dad: Ohh boy. 
-
His thoughts after the finale (he wrote an Official Statement for his “tumblr fandom,” including the hashtags at the end):
Well, watching Merlin was a much more satisfying experience than when my kids made me watch Glee with them. Although it was difficult at first to accept the way they bent time to accommodate Merlin and Arthur being contemporaries, I got over it because they succeeded in creating a relationship between two boys-to-men who wouldn't normally exist in each other's worlds. In actual Arthur lore, Merlin is old and wizened long before Arthur is even born. In fact, you remember in an early episode when Gaius references magic being necessary for Uther and his queen to produce a son? Well, in Arthur lore, that magic was cast by Merlin, and Merlin was present during Arthur's childhood. But ok, let's give the BBC some breathing room because they did a good job showing the generational transition from the failings of toxic masculinity (Uther's reign) to the superhuman potential of unapologetic bromance (Arthur's reign). In fact, how many times did I furrow my brow when Uther did something stupid or said something weenie just because he thought he was being strong, but he was actually being...alone. When it was Arthur's turn to do something stupid or say something weenie, he had a posse of good bros by his side to prop him up.
Even in S5E3 when Arthur gets the opportunity to see the ghost of his father and be like, "Bruh, I miss you," Uther instead treats Arthur like shit and belittles him for not being a dick to his people. Respect through fear, I believe is what the ghost Uther was preaching. But that strategy was pretty much self-defeating, given that respect through fear got Uther prematurely dead. Luckily Arthur didn't give it too much thought and decided, "Yeah, nah, I'd rather hug my droogies and marry a servant woman and be respected for doing the right thing, so biyee douchebag." In fact I'm assuming the writers created this post-mortem meeting not as merely another display of magic, but as a tangible means of showing Arthur's wrestling match with his own conscience. Even the playful and boyish banter between Arthur and Merlin (and the way they gaze at each other adoringly) is an example of Arthur's determination to part with toxic masculinity, especially when he gives Merlin the opportunity to be right sometimes without getting his chainmail hoodie in a bunch.
  This could absolutely be a lesson to voters the world over, who have the power to put real leaders in office but choose crusty old assholes instead of fresh, young minds and hearts. All the Uthers in the world are giving AOC and Sanna Marin shit for dancing. Can you believe we actually live in an era when our leaders get chided for dancing? For fucking dancing! Meanwhile AOC and Sanna Marin are attracting loyal followers in New York and Denmark, who would follow them to the ends of Camelot, while the same old self-serving ancient curmudgeons who keep getting elected are busy pulling Agravaine after Agravaine out of their bungholes. Perhaps I digress.
  Their parting from lore that is a little less acceptable is what they chose to do with Lancelot. Love triangle with Gwen and Arthur, yes, but Lancelot's BBC fate was less than satisfying. There are many tellings of how Lancelot dies, both with and because of Gwen, but the BBC opted against putting Arthur's best knight at the roundtable through most of this series. How fascinating. And weird.
Anyway, the end: Avoiding spoilers, I'd say the series ended appropriately. My 20-year-old daughter is traumatized by the ending, but I know enough about Arthur lore to know that the end is appropriate and loyal to legend. Camelot enters a new era, Merlin finally gets the respect he deserves, and a strong woman rises to power (I hope she dances). Satisfying. My parting thought: Walking away from this series, I've discovered a new career aspiration. I don't need to be king of anything, but I really want a job that allows me to say, "Ready the men, we ride at first light" without getting bullied. I mean, that's just really damn cool.
Thanks for all of your comments and responses. It's been fun. 
#Merlin #ArthurAndMerlinOTP #ToxicMasculinityVsBromance #ArthurWasPan #TristanAndIsoldSpinoff
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imkylotrash · 9 months ago
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What A Time
Pairing: Sir Leon x reader
Request (shortened version): The reader is a princess that has been taken prisoner when Morgana took over in an attempt to use her as leverage against Uther. But she can't help think back on her life with Leon and neither can he.
A/N I don't think I've seen this far in the show so if I get anything wrong, please just pretend like I didn't 😂
Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @shadowhuntyi @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 Let me know if you want to be added or removed.
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Sometimes life takes a funny direction compared to the path you always saw yourself on. You were a princess, a twin to the future King of Camelot, and you were a good sorcerer. In fact, you were a great sorcerer under the training of Gaius, and when Merlin showed up, it only made you better. But magic was forbidden in Camelot, and you knew it. It was only a matter of time before Uther would figure it out...
"Gaius, do something!" You're looking down at your brother, who is losing far too much blood far too quickly. A hunting accident that may just take the one person you love more than anything.
"There are limits to what can be done naturally," Gaius scolds, throwing several herbs into a pot to mush, but you know it's not going to be enough. If Arthur's going to make it through the night, he needs magic - and a lot of it.
"Then let me do something," you plead because you can't lose him. Not already. Neither of you has lived properly yet. You hold Arthur's hand to make sure he knows you're right there.
"Uther will be here any minute," Merlin informs as he enters with a bunch of towels and hot water.
"Then we have to be quick," you sternly say as you lock eyes with Gaius. He's not dumb enough to stop you, so he steps back to let you work. But Merlin's right. Uther does arrive within minutes to find his son dying on the table and his daughter trying to save his life using the one thing that scares him more than anything.
"What is going on?" he demands to know. And you know you should be worried, scared, possibly even dead already, but you'll deal with that later. Once you know Arthur is safe, you'll turn around and face your judgment. Except it never comes. Instead, your father shocks you by pulling you in for a tight hug.
"Thank you." He's looking at you well-knowing that he'd never be able to kill you. So he helps keep the secret, and you continue training.
You're even more powerful than Merlin, which feels slightly ironic considering your current predicament. Trapped in the castle's dungeon awaiting whatever Morgana decides to do with you. Every spell has been tried to break the confinement created by Morgana's own magic, but you have yet to be successful and breaking free. Camelot has been lost, and you can't do anything about it. All you can hope is that your family made it out alive.
He's watching you. Of course, they're all watching you because you're sitting next to the King of Camelot at the high table, but it feels different when he looks at you. He's not looking at you because you're King's daughter or the sister of Arthur. He's looking because he wants to. Because he can't tear his gaze away, and you love it. You almost revel it in, but you can't be too obvious.
"Your Royal Highness," he says and lifts your hand to place a gentle kiss. The action alone is enough to make you blush.
"You know, we're married now. You can call me by name." An arranged marriage and you just so happened to fall wholly and utterly in love with the man.
"I know. But your father is watching, and I'd like to stay in his good graces," Leon whispers with a smile, and you want to drag him to the bedroom right then and there. But you must wait for the formalities to finish. Waiting with Leon by your side makes it a lot better though.
"Father, we're going to retire for the night." You kiss him on both cheeks before leaving hand in hand with Leon. Both of you are itching for the privacy needed to act very inappropriately, so you rush down the hallways until you reach your chambers.
"So, husband, are you ready for married life?"
"With you? Always." He drags you inside and closes the door. Gentle fingers untie the laces of your corset, and one layer at a time, you feel the heat in your belly spread.
"I've thought about this all night," he admits placing a kiss on your bare shoulder. It sends a shiver through your body that you don't even bother to hide. You want him to know what kind of effect he has on you.
"Kiss me properly."
The sound of heels on the ground diverts your attention to the hallway.
"Enjoying your stay?" Seeing her stand in front of you awakes a rage inside of you that you struggle to contain.
"This could all have been avoided if your father had shown me the same compassion for me that he showed for you." You keep quiet. Your father had loved Morgana with all his heart could offer. Whether he had accepted her magic or not, Morgana would have taken the same path. Of this, you felt completely sure even now.
"Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to love you enough to come back to Camelot and face his actions. None of them do. Not even your little lover Le—"
"Don't say his name!" you sneer walking over to the bars so you can look at her properly.
"One day I'm going to kill you. Maybe not tomorrow or the day after that. But someday I will kill you." Images of your past life flash before your eyes; Arthur returning home after a quest, Leon and you dancing in your chambers with no music, Merlin occupying your Arthur so you can steal moments with Leon. One day you'll return to them, and you're going to make sure that Morgana never threatens you again.
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tellmelieshulu · 20 days ago
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Based on the best-selling novel, #TellMeLies premieres September 7 on @Hulu.
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hxlyhoax · a year ago
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As The World Caves In
Rick Flag x Reader
!!!CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE SUICIDE SQUAD!!!
*I apologize if this sucks, This is my first time writing in ages*
━━━━━ © hxlyhoax 2021 do not steal, post on third party sites or translate my work
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If it was 2016 you wouldn’t have cared. You wouldn’t have cared that the colonel was fighting for his life.
But it wasn’t 2016, it was 2021 and you both were on way better terms then when you first met. You two were friends? maybe, you didn’t really know. He was a confusing man.
But what you did know, he couldn’t die. Rick Flag couldn’t die. not here. not now. And especially not at the hands of Peacemaker.
———
You were walking with Rick, Cleo and Gaius to where “Project Starfish” was located. You really weren’t paying attention to the current conversation going on, too busy looking around at all the people held captive with tiny starfishes on their faces and completely missing the actual huge starfish hitting against it’s see-through cage.
You sighed and looked back over at the group after overhearing Cleo saying something about being sent to stop Gaius and this god damn awful project.
“Child, your government didn’t send you here to protect the world from alien technology. Your government sent you here to cover up their part in it.” He replied which made you raise an eyebrow “you’re a goddamn liar” Rick muttered which resulted in a small chuckle coming from Gaius before he began his lengthy speech of how American Astronauts were a part of this and how the Government saw potential which resulted in an eye roll from you.
You were about to speak up when you heard an all too familiar voice come from behind you “Yeah! you’re the real victim” Christopher said which made you furrow your brows “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to setting up explosives”
Which resulted in him giving you a soft look “I told you I didn’t trust him” you nodded slowly not completely believing that was his true intention of being up here “Your records are located on the computers?” Rick asked looking at Gaius before making his way over to their computers “What are you doing?” you asked looking at him “I joined the military to serve my country, not to be its puppet.” You bit your lip nodding while Cleo started to freak out “What are you doing? Who are you going to show that to?”
Rick responded while looking down at the drive he had found “The press. Goddamn people deserve to know. I’m tired of coverin’ up their dirty little secrets. This time these sons of bitches are gonna be held account…” before he could finish his sentence a gun was cocked which made your head snap over to Christopher who was now holding a gun to Rick “I can’t let you do that, Colonel”
You were dumbfounded “Peacemaker…” Rick looked just as dumbfounded “excuse me?”
“I’m truly sorry. Miss Waller charged me with makin’ sure those records don’t leave this building.” Christopher replied while still holding his gun up.
“Of course. I shoulda known. Waller’s always got a backup” Rick spoke while looking over at Christopher who was giving him a sympathetic look “Come on, man, this isn’t personal”
“Holdin’ a gun on me is pretty fucking personal.” Rick replied looking at the man who still had a gun to his head.
Before anyone could say anything there was a muffled explosion which made you jump and Gaius to mutter a small "What was that?" you gave him a look before looking back at Rick and Christopher "I'm going to need that drive, Colonel" Chris said still holding his gun up to the colonel.
Alarms began to sound off which made you step back closer to Cleo ready to protect her and her little rat companion you grew to love “Those morons set off the explosives too early. Hand over the drive! Let’s go, come on!” came from a very panicked Gaius.
“They experimented on children” Rick said looking at Christopher “No one is sayin’ what they did was right.” He replied
Rick looked at him once more before speaking a little louder “They experimented on children!”
The ceiling looked like it was about to cave in bits and pieces were falling onto the ground you looked behind you to see a very scared Cleo who whispered “What are we going to do, we can’t let him kill the colonel” you nodded at her almost tearing up at the fact of losing him “I’m going to stop him, you two get out of here. We’ll be okay” Sebastian shook his head squeaking out while Cleo began to speak again “We can’t do that, We don’t leave our own behind” you smiled softly at her before looking over to Rick biting your lip.
“That information gets out, it causes an international incident! Keepin’ the peace is worth any price, including the life of a hero like yours, sir, so please… don’t make me do this.” Christopher pleaded right before the ceiling came down which made you all collectively groan.
After a few minutes, you started to regain consciousness. To say your head hurt was an understatement. It was pounding. You groaned as you sat up. "Flag" you spoke weakly looking around hoping to see your friend and commander still standing.
Unfortunately, there was no response. You stood up while also looking around the now wrecked room and sighed while also muttering to yourself "Please be okay"
You continued to walk around the now wrecked room until you found them. Rick and Christopher were on the floor. Chris looked like he could still be passed out which was unlikely. While Rick was kneeling.
You made your way over to Flag kneeling next to him going into protection mode "Are you alright" you asked while looking him over which made him smile then nod "I'm okay, Yln. No need to worry"
You looked up into his eyes smiling softly before turning your head hearing Christopher getting up. You stayed still next to Flag, still unconsciously holding onto him.
"Well aren't you two cute? '' He spoke sarcastically which resulted in an eye roll from both you and rick. "I'm going to need that drive. So you either hand it over. Or you both die."
You looked at Flag holding his hand for a moment silently apologizing for what you were about to do. He shook his head while Christopher furrowed his brows "I'll see you on the other side, Flag" you spoke before picking up the drive and running off which made both men groan.
Christopher started to run after you but you were nowhere in sight. "Where are you, You little bitch" He yelled out in frustration.
You had already made it to the next floor looking for a familiar face. Someone you could trust. Then you saw him. You saw Boomerang who gave you a confused look "What's wrong" he questioned walking in your direction.
"Long story. Just promise me something." He raised an eyebrow knowing that was never good coming out of your mouth. You were always legit on a suicde mission when you spoke those words.
He was about to protest but you gave him a pleading look. One that you knew would make him cave in. "I promise" He spoke quietly.
You gave him the drive "Hold onto this. Make sure no one else gets it. And if I don't make it, give it to Flag or DuBois" You looked him in the eye "And if they don't make it? he asked
"Release it. Cazo will tell you what’s on it. Just make sure it doesn’t get in the hands of Peacemaker or Waller" he nodded "You, Flag, Cazo and DuBois only" You nodded before hugging him tightly. Hoping it wasn't your last before running off again making your way back down to the lower floors.
You could hear the calling of your name. Christopher was still looking for you. So was Rick but he was more quiet about it.
You looked around biting your lip before feeling someone pulling you back covering your mouth while you screamed “shh. it’s just me” rick spoke quietly into your ear which made you let out a sigh of relief before looking at him “that was rude” he smiled at you “i’m sorry…” he began but soon realized you no longer had the drive “where’s the drive?” he questioned.
Before you could respond you heard a cock of a gun which made you take your gaze away from Rick and over to the sound “Yeah, Where is the drive” came from an annoyed Peacemaker
You looked at him blankly “I dropped it. It’s lost somewhere in the mess” you lied but he seemed to believe you lowering his gun before biting his lip “I’m sorry” he looked at both you and rick.
Rick only nodded before taking your hand and walking out of the room looking for a more quiet and reserved space. Once he found it he pulled you into the room and looked you in your eyes “Where is it really”
You looked at him offended “You don’t believe me?” he only raised an eyebrow “you’re a compulsive liar. of course I don’t believe you” which resulted in you pouting “I am not” you looked away from him down to the floor “only to those who don’t matter.”
He chuckled softly before speaking again “But, seriously where is the drive?” he looked down at you while you looked up innocently “I gave it away” he raised an eyebrow “to who?” he asked.
You looked around making sure Christopher wasn’t lurking around anywhere before looking at Rick again “Boomer” he nodded sighing softly “That makes me feel sorta better.”
You giggled softly before speaking up “Let’s get back to others, They probably need our help.” He nodded agreeing “Yeah you’re probably right. Let’s go.”
So, you two went. You helped fight. Peacemaker was questionably nowhere to be found. You didn’t question it. Not caring enough about the man who almost killed you and your friend.
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larrikin-is-a-himbo · 7 months ago
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My friend watches Merlin: Part I
Oh god what have i started
Who's this blonde motherfucker
Also witch lady murdered some woman and took her form to get revenge, which I whole heartedly support
Gwen is so pretty
When will Arthur stop being a jackass I'm just curious
Enemies to Lovers?
Also imagine having such bad luck that your mom sends you to the one place where magic is strictly forbidden, when your one quality is having magic
WOAH Talking dragon Cool
Oh good Merlin has to play nanny to Arthur, cool
PLS Merlin boi what are you doing
Just because the chick is good you don't have to risk it
You'd think when your one weakness is a mirror you'd get rid of the big ass one in your room
PLS ARTHUR ARE YOU BLIND THIS BEAUTY IS RIGHT THERE HITTING ON YOU [*MERLIN]
Witch is really nailing the abandoned attic aesthetic
A W K W A R D
I looove the snake shield
I'm so sick of fortune cookie smart people
Or in this case reptiles
Morgana is also so pretty
Oh my god Morgana, you should just leave this place
You deserve better than everybody here
Hello there beautiful 👀
Mysterious magic woman
Is this show MLM WLW solidarity?
I really don't see why we shouldn't let the magic people take charge of the kingdom and push this moTHERFUCKER off a cliff
This fucking dragon is pissing me off
I love Morgana so much already
Oh this guy is so clueless I love him
FUCK WHY SPIDERS
Wow the king is a real asshole
Can't wait till he dies
HELLO SAILOR 👀👀👀
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I'm getting real tired of the king
I'm legit so tired of this guy
Already
And this is only the first season
Seriously, the amount of problem that could be avoided if they just got rid of the king
And so of the dragon
But mainly the guy
He straight up wants to kill a fucking child
I never wanted to kill off a series character so bad in my life
Honestly if I were Morgana I would just leave
Just pack my stuff and sneak out
HOLY PLOT TWIST
It's so weird that I'm 100% on the opposite of the main character's side
Excuse me
You can't just drug your son
This isn't going to end well I can see it
I'm digging this series honestly
LMAO I like how the girls are coming to the rescue
Like, of course they are helping Merlin cause he helped them
But I can't help but see the "If we're not going he's not even going to survive the journey, let alone the bandits" In their looks
NAW Arthur just shot an unicorn
Not sure I can forgive him this one fam
Yeah fuck your grain
You know who the true victim of the series is? The water supply
And Gaius' nerves
At least Arthur is trying to be a good ruler
LMAO not the rat stew
This entire family is fucking killing me
Both father and son
And I don't know who the holy spirit is
[Me: Arthur's mum
Him: That was fucking foul 💀]
Yaaay, the unicorn lived
NA AH, I DRAW THE LINE AT THREATENING THE LIFE OF BEST GIRL'S DAD
NOOOOOOOOOOO
"Yeah your dad is dead, but you can keep your house" CAN NO ONE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD COMMUNICATE
I am 100% on Morgana's side in the situation
And so are on everybody's side who's against Uther
Gwen is so much better than me as a person
Oh...they made up
Morgana is also a better person than me
Season finale time
Did I just watch the entire season in one day
WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS THAT
"It's just a myth"
"It's just a story"
"It's just made up"
Bitch have you been PAYING ATTENTION to the past months? Or however long this season is spawned in
So far Nimue gave some water, Merlin's mom is dying, the dragon outed himself and Merlin is saying goodbyes
noooOOO
Wow, why do they severely underuse the best antagonists in every series I like
This was not nearly enough Nimue
I'm low-key disappointed
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thegodswereneveronourside · 10 months ago
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octavian's family
gaius caesar, his dad
- probably doesn't know his son exists tbh
- the eldest
- gifted kid burnout at a young age
- upholding the family legacy (tm)
- archery is his thing
aurelia caesar, neé blackburn, his biological mom
- legacy of mars
- bad bitch
- dead bitch. died in childbirth </3
- octavian never knew her tbh
jared, the stoner uncle
- his real name is julius alexander but he somehow managed to convince literally everyone that his name is jared
- weird ass guy. no one is quite sure what his powers are. prophecy? poetry? plague
- probably not hetero. or cis either.
julia victoria, the cool aunt
- twin to jared
- she's a healer!!
- definitely gay
- cats
deiondra villaceran, his stepmother
- real nice lady???
- tries to get closer to octavian because she genuinely is concerned
- gaius i don't think you deserve her but okay
- tries to get everyone to get along
gabriel villaceran, his stepbrother
- BIG HIMBO ENERGY??
- tavi hates his guts because. he's essentially the perfect Soldier in physical terms. "why can't you be more like him?"
- he means well though. he just wants to vaguely get along with tavi. give him a chance ok
julia antonia, octavian's half sister
- gaius and deiondra's daughter
- yes. that julia. the one who works with terminus
- LITERAL SWEETHEART??? OH MY GOD???
- child. i will protecc her
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weakforarwen · a month ago
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The Changeling
Watching this episode at the same time as I’m finishing season 5 is like a breath of fresh air. The difference between the seasons! It’s like day and night.
Arthur is warm and cute and a real character in this episode! Gwen is her shy yet confident, nonconforming yet realistic, awkward yet graceful, self, I love her. And Arwen is so good this episode! Their chemistry is great, and their scenes are varied - it’s not just Gwen telling Arthur she believes in him, or, worse, standing by his side like decoration. Bradley actually has more than a few facial expressions here! When he realizes he’ll have to marry Elena, his eyes shine with tears and he looks so sad... it’s so good. But I also love his awkwardness in a previous scene, when Arthur’s like “Dw, I won’t get married” and Gwen’s like “Who says I was worried?”. The scene where Arthur skips up the stairs as Gwen is coming down is super cute too - the banter, their smiles! Compared to season 5, it’s like someone painted them in bright colors. Ah, this is the Arwen I love.
The episode is great. Grunhilda is hilarious. The actress, Miriam Margolyes, is so adorable and good, honestly. What a treasure. They were lucky to have her for one episode. Poor Gaius had to take one for the team though. I loved seeing him so flustered.
I loved Elena too. But I didn’t like that human Elena wasn’t as clumsy and unlady-like. The moment the fairy spirit was expelled out of her, she became a “proper” princess and that was disappointing. She was lovely when she tripped and snorted. Still, her parting words to Arthur were amazing “Let me know when you want me to beat you at horse riding again”, or something like that. Arthur’s face was priceless. Arthur’s reactions to the princess were on point the entire episode. 
I loved everything about the episode tbh. Even Uther was funny. He was so excited for his friend’s visit and got so awkward trying to tell Arthur he was to marry Elena lmao. But he went back to being his asshole self soon enough.
Elena should be glad her father clearly loves her and puts her first. She and Arthur could’ve been great friends! She’d get along so well with Merlin and Gwen too!
There’s something incredibly satisfying about watching this episode knowing Arthur will marry Gwen despite everything and be so happy with her. Uther told Arthur a King can’t marry for love, and I was like “Just you wait and see. You’ll be rolling in your grave”. And Morgana looked so gleeful and smug when she pretended to be on Gwen’s side, but her and Arthur simply couldn’t be... Laugh all you want, you’ll never be Queen, bitch. Seeing Arthur call off a wedding for the first time was so funny. Dude is a pro at calling off weddings, even the first one with Gwen :/ 
Arthur can’t marry for love, you say? Just you watch. He’ll marry no one but Guinevere. He’s not Uther. Arthur might find it difficult to shake off his father’s hold on him, but when it comes to Gwen, he will not take no for an answer. As close as he came to marrying other women or calling it quits with Gwen, he just couldn’t. It’s her or nothing, and I find that so relatable. 
I really relate to this side of Arthur. I’m not good at rebelling either, at expressing my thoughts and standing up for myself - I don’t like displeasing people or having them mad at me - but I can’t get talked into something I really don’t wanna do. I’ll drag my feet the whole time til I get my way. But Arthur’s not quite like me. He gives in quite easily to the demands of others, but once he thinks it through and gains confidence in himself, he stands up for his beliefs. Especially if it concerns Gwen. 
In your face, Uther. I know how miserable Arthur’s marriage made you. You even tried to kill Gwen from beyond the grave. I guess if you actually knew your son, you’d have seen he wasn’t under any spell in season 3.
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velvety-love · 11 months ago
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I have been up for almost 20 hours and all i can think of are cid and nero lets go 
OOOOO its hard to think of where to start but i just. okay. Lets start at the Begining(tm). The thing is Cid probably never really had anyone who saw him as anything but Midas' son for the longest time, and here comes this other kid (the ONLY ONE HIS AGE in ALL OF THE ACADEMY mind you) who does not give two shits about who the fuck his father is and only views him as an actual rival, it must've been so refreshing and something he probably really needed in life!! Like he was a wee boy when they first met but still, at that point he was probably trapped in his father's shadow (haha wow the irony in that rip Nero) and here comes this other person who just sees him for who he Is and judges him based on that. Hell even Gaius who is like 'i judge based on merit or whatever' still saw him as Midas' son.
And like?? You can see the effects of that even in the storyline, how even Nero begins to resent how no one views Cid as anything but his father's son (albeit for very different reasons) but it just hammers home that, while in Garlemald, Nero was probably the only person who saw him for who he really was?? Man thats gay shit. Anyways, Also it astounds me the amount of Trust Nero has for Cid. Like yeah they are divorced(tm) but it's shown that Nero is absolutely someone who does not trust easily. He's traumatized! But even when injured in the omega questline he keeps on going to help out and even sticks around afterwards as he's healing. Nero kinda strikes me as the kind of guy who, if he didn't absolutely trust Cid, would've bolted the minute things got dicey!!! ESPECIALLY when hes like almost dying hello?? Bitch stayed and helped because Cid needed him and cause he TRUSTED HIM!!! WTF!!!
Also on that note it's really wholesome to see how Nero knows exactly how to help Cid when its needed. Like that moment (you know the one) in the omega questline where he calms Cid down in his own asshole-y way that's just right to get Cid back on track?? Perfect, amazing, show stopping, fantastic. Like he didn't need to, Cid probably would've been able to do it without that but by god he noticed (HE NOTICED WAY EARLIER TOO he knows the mans tells so much) and Did Something about it! Why else would Nero, self-appointed 'im only doing this for myself', help out if he did not care for Cid?? This is friendship business i tell you.
Anyways for better or for worse the two of them compliment each other and push each other to do their best AND feel their best even if they wont admit it!!
Square enix please give us more Nero in endwalker PLEASE i am BEGGING you i desire it i need it we ALL need it please please pelase please pl-
In conclusion:
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shite-postingboi · a year ago
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A few more gay-wakening quotes + a few ikesoren quotes for you raccoons (Ily u guys thank u for the support-)
Lon'qu: Hey dad- wait- I mean-
Basilio: No, no, no.
Basilio: No take backs.
Maribelle: Brady’s anger management classes are a fucking scam, mf told him to hit Owain with a brick yesterday! 
Frederick: It’s called Reverse Psychology, Maribelle…
Maribelle: Reverse? Bitch this isn’t UNO!
Ricken: Can we please stay in your tent?
Robin: Why?
Ricken: We played with a Ouija board and cursed mine....
Ricken: And Henry isn’t much help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits so he just throws salt at them and yells “does this look like a hotel to you?!”
Vaike: Beauty and the Beast, but reversed. I kiss the girl and she turns into a monster and it’s awesome
Sully: Shrek.
Vaike:
Vaike: This post is canceled
Sumia: Coward
Lissa, pretending a hairbrush is a microphone: And now for a gay update with Henry. How's it going?
Henry, starring at Ricken: Getting gayer.
Lissa: Thank you, Henry.
Donnel: Do you ever feel bugs on you when there aren't any?
Sully: Those are the ghosts of all the bugs you've killed.
Donnel:
Stahl: Look what you did, you scared him!
Robin: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Chron: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a healthy sleep schedule.
Robin: Absolutely not.
Brady: Ok guys shut up *Answers phone* Hey, mom.
Owain: miSsEs MaRiBeLlE tEll yOuR sOn tO coMe bAcK tO bEd
Inigo: *Sex noises*
Owain: BABE, WE CANT HAVE A THREESOME WITHOUT YOU!
Cynthia: Tell her i say hiii!!!
Severa: pAss the wEeEEeEeeEeEeeeE-
Ike, peaking under the bed: Soren, are you ready to come out and interact with people?
Soren: *Demonic screeching*
Ike: Understandable, have a good day
Stahl: Why is there blood everywhere!??
Lon'qu: I may have aggressivelly poked someone with my blade.
Stahl: yoU STABBED SOMEONE!?!?
Lon'qu: No no, aggressively poked them with my blade..
Robin: Chrom. Is that your hand on my ass?
Chrom: Oops. My bad. It was an accident.
Robin: Your hand is still on my ass.
Chrom: Still an accident.
Doctor: Mr? Your boyfriend's awake.
Ike: Really? How is he? Has he said anything-
Doctor: Yes, he said "Tell the priest to fuck off, I'm not dead yet."
Soren, hoarse: I lost my voice. 
Ike: Well, that’s good. that means you can’t insult kings yell at me anymore!
*The next day*
Ike: So apparently, Soren's scarier when he’s quiet.
Ike: *Being Ike*
Soren: You better shut the fuck up before I look at you one day, feel warm and realize I've fallen in love with you.
Ike: Wait wh-
Soren: I'm serious, quit it! FUCK!
Ricken: Olivia, can I talk to you for a second?
Olivia: Yeah, what’s up-? Lemme guess. You have a crush on Henry and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Ricken: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
Ricken: What time is it?
Henry: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
Henry: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Lon'qu: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Henry: It’s 2 am
Some dude: We have your son.
Basilio: I don't have a so-
Basilio: Oh wait. You have Lon'qu. Lmao good luck with that.
Five minutes later: PLEASE TAKE HIM BACK-
` I'm bed, bath and beyond disappointed in you. ` Gaius, after Laurent pulled another all-nighter
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probabilitydirigible · 12 months ago
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A "BRIEF HISTORY" OF THE FALL OF THE ROMAN REPUBLIC: For no particular reason
ONCE UPON A TIME there was a city that wasn't called Rome yet founded by two brothers, Remus and Romulus. Romulus killed his brother and got the town named after him. NEVER AGAIN UPON A TIME, the city had a king everyone hated so much they just all stabbed the crap out of him at once, and made a big public pact that next time there was a king, they would do the same thing. This isn't foreshadowing. LATER they went to war with Carthage, another city in North Africa, and although they technically won that war, the enemy general Hannibal was so cool (he took elephants over the alps into Italy! Terrifying) we remembered him forever and while history remembers the roman generals, we really don't care. UP UNTIL NOW the roman army was entirely 'citizen-soldiers' who were expected to provide their own equipment and who treated the occasional war as a temporary distraction from their normal jobs. This was replaced by full-time soldiers partially for logistical reasons (it's bad when your entire army is like 'Sorry, can't fight in October') but also for economic reasons- the poor could no longer reliably afford swords. As such, it was exclusively the poor who signed up for the army, and they were extremely aware that if the army ever stopped paying them, it was a return to crushing poverty. WHY WERE THE POOR POORER? The rich were richer! For complex legal reasons, but the biggest among them was that the rich had bought all the farmland. There was also special government farmland that in theory was available to poor people on a temporary basis until they could afford to buy their own farms, but the rich tended to acquire that too.  DEMOCRACY TO THE RESCUE: A guy named Tiberius Gracchus attempted to enforce an existing law that you could only own so much land. It was on the books but nobody actually was doing it. During his political campaign, a shit ton of senators clubbed him to death with chair legs for threatening their wealth. OKAY ONE MORE TRY:  Gaius Gracchus, his little brother, tried to do the exact same thing. He did much better until he tried to extend citizenship, which went over about as well as it does in modern times, and he committed suicide before being torn apart by an angry mob. WHAT IF SOMEONE POWERFUL TRIES IT? Gaius Marius, a famous general, attempts to pass the same basic set of reforms, but is defeated at every turn. He's also a petty bitch, so he tries to steal command of a giant army about to lead a cool war from his arch-rival, Sulla. Sulla responds by killing the messenger and marching on Rome, which Marius attempts to defend by grabbing every gladiator he can find, in the hopes that a ragtag band of badasses might just work. It does not and he escapes. Sulla kills all his friends and allies and anyone who ever talked about how cool reform would be. He makes eye contact with a young Julius Caesar and explicitly says "I'm not going to kill you, but I have a weird vibe you're going to grow up to be just like your uncle Marius." HE GROWS UP TO BE JUST LIKE HIS UNCLE MARIUS: Julius becomes a politican and teams up with a great general named Pompey and a great rich dude named Crassus, on the theory that with his public speaking skills and their resources and connections, they could take over the country. They do! Julius then takes the opportunity to borrow the army for a bit and conquer a huge chunk of Europe just for fun and profit because he's a great general apparently. Crassus gets jealous and tries to conquer syria but dies. CIVIL WAR: Without their mutual ally, Julius and Pompey begin circling each other. Julius is ordered back to Rome to end his military campaign, but he's worried about what happens if he steps down as general. (Similar to today where you can't prosecute the president for crimes APPARENTLY, Julius was immune as long as he was on duty) So he brings his whole army back to Rome and the war begins. Julius wins! IT'S TOO BAD THERE WASN'T A WELL ESTABLISHED PRECEDENT FOR THIS: Julius starts quietly hinting that he should be king by like, organizing astroturf movements and having people graffiti crowns onto statues of him and paying attractive people to stand in bars and crowds and be like "This would be much better if we had a king again!" Inevitably, everyone stabs him at once. SEQUEL: Julius's adopted son, Octavian, is a shutin nerd whose best friend, Agrippa, is a beefcake military powerhouse, but this was still like 30 BC, so nobody wrote slashfic about them. With Julius's death, suddenly there's no one unarguable ruler again, and everyone fights to be the next Julius. Octavian wins. He changes his name to "Augustus" which is roman for "Awesome Guy" and starts calling himself "First Citizen" which is very different from king and is careful never to visibly like, order anyone around so much as just quietly make suggestions through back channels that always happen because everybody knows what's really going on. But the facade works and nobody stabs him to death, possibly because he's better at politics than big J, or possibly after three civil wars in a row everyone was just TIRED. By all accounts, he was a pretty solid governor. EPILOGUE: Tiberius, his successor, would have wild orgies with child slaves and have so many political rivals killed that the bodies dumped into the river sometimes accidentally dammed it and they had to send dudes out with poles. After that came Nero, a guy so messed up you know his name, who was so obsessed with killing christians and jewish people that they wrote a bunch of mean stuff about him using a nickname, 666, and that's where that comes from. It's like, the scrabble score of his name in ancient judiac numerology code.
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kandi-pendragon · a year ago
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Im rewatching Merlin and Ive had a few Thoughts™
First of all, the inconsistency when it comes to Merlin’s magic?? In the first episode, Gaius is all about telling Merlin how he’s never seen a magic user who doesn’t need to say spells, that it’s impossible to be born with magic, that this demonstrates how powerful he is, and then that just. Isn’t true anymore? In the later seasons it talks about how Uther drowned kids who were born with magic during the Great Purge. Morgause does magic without saying a word, even with something as seemingly complicated as implanting a destination in a horses mind. Morgana has apparently been showing signs of being a seer since she was super young, and the Druids frequently take in children who were born with magic. Merlin’s supposed to be the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the Earth but aside from the bitchy basement lizard rambling about prophecies and turning him into a glorified war machine... he doesn’t seem all that special. 
Also new Headcanon material: Have you ever noticed how Nimueh’s eyes literally never turn gold? Not when she’s bringing back Arthur’s dead uncle, not when she’s summoning a rainstorm or fireball, not even when she’s bringing the Afanc to life. What if only natural born magic users eyes turn gold? (This is kind of disproven when Gaius’s eyes turn gold, since as far as we know he only studied magic he wasn’t born with it but shhhh I’m turning BBC’s shit writing into a plausible headcanon so ignore that bit) Nimueh could have been born with a talent for magic, but maybe she wasn’t born with magic. Her working twice as hard as others to make it to high priestess and court sorceress, studying magic endlessly, being seen as uptight by other magic users but she’s only stressed from pushing herself so hard. Her becoming addicted to the feeling of preforming spells, her having to constantly improve her memory capacity, her being self conscious of her blue eyes whenever she preforms magic. Idk I just think It makes for an interesting thing to think about. This would also explain characters like Edwin (”A Remedy to Cure all Ills” guy) because it’s only said that his parents were practicing dark magic, and now he was. His eyes never turn gold either. 
They should have followed up with Arthur and the druids. Its so clear in ep 8 that he has a soft spot for them, and then the leader guy (I forget his name) said they’re indebted to him for returning Mordred, and then the druids are legit NEVER mentioned again in season 1. And Arthur forgot Mordred was a druid in the first place when they meet again in season 5, or at least its never addressed properly. I think it would have been so much cooler if we got to see a continuation of Arthur with the druids, and then maybe we wouldn't have had to wait until season 4 for an explanation as to why he seems to care for the druids so much, even after being poisoned against them as a child. Plus, if we actually explored helping the druids (Like forming a peace treaty and officially legalizing them once he’s king instead of just settling for “you wont be hunted like animals anymore. Have a nice life!”) Maybe some of the druids Kara wouldn’t have hated him/Camelot so much, and the whole problem of Mordred could be solved. “I have no quarrel with the druids” bitch then legalize them??? On the topic of Arthur’s Soft Spot for Druids™ that shit he pulled in The Coming of Arthur? Holding that little druid kid at sword-point instead of just asking for the Cup of Life like a decent human? So freaking ooc and I will be mad about it forever.
Our least favorite boy Killy telling Merlin to let Mordred die? Shit. Absolute shit. Merlin was trapped between a rock and a hard place, you wanna know why? What would have happened if Merlin had stayed in his room and ignored Mordred? Mordred would have died, yes, but Arthur would have been caught. Uther would lose trust in both his son and Morgana and probably rule even worse after that, since his lack of trust lead to fear and his fear lead to violence. If he learned that he couldnt trust either of his kids.... I would hate to see how he would react. Also, Arthur would have lost complete faith in Merlin too. He was relying on him. If Merlin never showed, how do you think Arthur would react? Do you think he’d ever trust Merlin the same again? and don’t even get me started on Morgana’s reaction. What did Killy think killing Mordred would accomplish? Because I have a feeling it would do more harm than good. Killing Mordred was never the answer. The answer was to not turn Merlin into a singleminded, morally backwards bodyguard and actually steer Arthur in the right direction, instead of letting him fuck around on his own and resetting his character every season, only to kill him off right when things started going good. 
Theres more, but I’m too lazy to write it atm. I’m only like 8 episodes in right now but I am not loving it :D I never realized how problematic the show was until I became a part of the fandom lmfao.
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microwave-thoughts · 11 months ago
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How I remember every episode of Merlin (I watched it years ago)
The king: I'm evil let's kill some magic people because I'm homophobic
Some magic person: I don't like that guy I'm gonna kill his son or something
*in the castle*
Merlin: ugh Arthur is so annoying why do I have to help him all the time
Merlin: I will fix him uwu
Arthur: do all these annoying jobs dumbass I love you idiot I'm an asshole to you because I'm an asshole but also I'm bad at expressing emotions
Merlin: what
Arthur: what
Some magic person: hey sorry didn't wanna be a third wheel but I'm here to kill the prince
Arthur: yeah thats me
Magic guy: oh yeah die pls
Merlin: i will now sneaky sneaky stop you *stops him in a very obvious magical way*
Magic guy: damn I am stopped
Arthur: haha that was so weird almost like magic. It was probably because I'm so cool. Yeah I saved the day. Merlin do my laundry or something
*at some point in the episode for some reason*
Arthur: *pantless* where is Merlin I need someone to put my pants on
Gaius: saving ur ass u idiot
Arthur: what
Gaius: ummm he's an alcoholic
Arthur: yeah he do be like that ok bye I'm the best I rule and all you bitches suck
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botanicallyinclinednerd · a year ago
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Merlin season 5 episode 10:
Why is the lighting this season so bad. Its like every episode has at least one poorly lit night scene
Im not digging this because I legitimately don't know when or how Morgana learns about Merlin. And I know its the end of the show, but I'm still not thrilled at the idea of her knowing
Arthur is such a dork, look at him be all cheesey and teasing
Gwen and Merlin being happy and smiley, my girl no longer under the influence of dark magic, life is good! Now how are the writers gonna fuck that all up this time?
Im sorry, are you telling me that these refugees are from a town that freely practices MAGIC, and they went to CAMELOT for refuge?????
Merlin is a sassy bitch and I love him
Arthur is a dork and Gwen is softly enduring her two idiot boys
Yes Gaius, protect your son, make him see reason
Yeah, Morgana knows. Thats scary
Helmet scene is excellent dumbass banter
Merlin, you dumb bitch
Hug!!
That was very brutal
Omg. Omg Merlins face when he sees that the person behind the sword is Percival. I can't. I can't, he looks like a hyper puppy who's owner just came home
Banter!!!!! I am taking it while I can
Caring knights!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES
Mordred has been nothing but helpful and Merlin continues to be a bitch to him. Also I think I know what pushes Mordred over the edge and its valid imo
Yeah.... saw that coming.
So, how does Merlin find out hes immortal? Is he told? I thought it would be this instance, but nope.
In regards to the preview for next episode: I am going to be screaming at Merlin all episode aren't I
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drkfought · a year ago
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    ─         the  mirrors  surrounding  you  did  as  they  were  meant  to ,  reflecting  back  a  spitting  image  of  colin  morgan    -    but  it’s  clear  something  is  wrong  from  the  moment  that  a  vision  of  𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘧𝘰𝘳  𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘶𝘳  strikes  you .    perhaps  it  was  a  passing  daydream  in  the  frenzy  of  the  funhouse .    you  reassure  yourself    -    you’re  𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍 ,   a  𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺  𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵  year  old  𝗣𝗛𝗬𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗡  whose  virtue  lies  in  your   + cunningness   &   + loyalty ,  although  you’ve  been  told  that  you  tend  to  be  quite   - elusive   &  - deceitful ,  and you’re associated with  𝒎𝒐𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒏  𝒈𝒐𝒍𝒅  𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒅  𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓  𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 ,   𝒂  𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒇𝒖𝒍  𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆  𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅  𝒕𝒐  𝒂𝒏  𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕  𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍 ,  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒔𝒕  𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘  𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕  𝒃𝒚  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕  𝒐𝒇  𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 ,  by  those  around  you .    suddenly,  however,  you’ve found  𝐀  𝐑𝐄𝐃  𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐅  on  your  person    -    was  that  always  there ?     from  the  moment  you  leave  the  funhouse ,  memories  from  your  life  in  𝙗𝙗𝙘'𝙨  𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙣   have  begun  to  return   -   leaving  whoever  you  had  been  before  in  the  mirror’s  reflection  behind  you .    you  can  almost  hear  𝚆𝙷𝙸𝚃𝙴  𝙻𝙸𝙴   by  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙻𝚄𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙴𝙴𝚁𝚂  following  in  your  wake .
it’s  basically  tradition  for  me  at  this  point  to  pick  up  merlin  anywhere  i  go .    that’s  my  comfort  character  your  honor .    i’m  picky  with  how  i  play  him   &   hope  you  like  him  but  i  truly  love  him  so  much .
full name :     merlin  ambrosius  wyllt . alises :   emrys .   dragoon  the  great .   magic  itself .   prince  of  enchanters . age :   twenty  eight . gender & pronouns :   non  binary ,  he / they . sexual & romantic orientation :    pansexual / panromantic . species :   sorcerer / magic  personified . identifying  marks :    tba .
     ─        𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍  𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .
born  on  in  the  village  of  ealdor  to  a  simple  farm  maiden ,  merlin  seemed  quite  unimportant  to  most  anyone .   his  mother ,  however ,  knew  differently  when ,  behind  closed  doors ,  her  son  was  magically  moving  objects  since  before  he  could  walk .     knowing  that  her  son’s  abilities  would  mean  a  death  sentence  over  his  head  ever  since  king  uther  declared  magic  illegal  in  the  great  purge ,  merlin’s  mother  was  sure  to  keep  his  abilities  hidden  from  anyone .    however ,  she  knew  his  skill   &   life  was  always  meant  for  more  than  ealdor .   when  he  was  eighteen  she  helped  him  pack  his  things   &   sent  him  away  to  camelot  to  live  with  an  old  friend :  gaius ,  the  court  physician .
once  in  camelot ,  merlin  found  himself  thrust  into  his  own  destiny  when  following  the  call  of  a  strange  voice  led  him  to  a  dragon  imprisoned  below  the  castle .   the  dragon ,  kilgharrah ,  informed  merlin  of  how  he  was  to  protect  the  young  prince  arthur  to  becoming  king  &  uniting  the  lands  of  albion .    though  merlin  initially  refused ,  having  been  throughly  unimpressed  with  what  he  knew  of  arthur ,  fate  had  other  plans .     after  stopping  an  assasination  attempt  on  arthur  during  a  feast  later ,  merlin  is  given  work  in  the  castle  as  a  reward  &  is  named  arthur’s  personal  manservent .     the  both  of  them  are  displeased  with  the  situation  at  first ,  but  as  years  pass  they  form  an  unlikely   &   inseparable  friendship .
though  unable  to tell  arthur  about  his  magic ,  seeing  as  arthur’s  view  of  it  had  been  tainted  by  his  father  uther ,  merlin  still  committed  to  his  destiny   &   secretly  protected  arthur  from  the  shadows  from  any  threat .   though  decisions  were  often  tough ,  merlin  did  the  best  he  could   &   eventually  arthur  did  take  the  throne  as  king .   it  seemed ,  almost ,  like  everything  was  going  as  it  was  supposed  to .   all  up  until  a  fateful  night  at  the  battle  of  camlann .   though  merlin  was  able  to  drive  back  the  opposing  forces   &   even  defeat  morgana ,  arthur’s  traitorous  half  sister ,  arthur  still  became  mortally  wounded  in  the  battle .    merlin  confessed  to  his  magic  to  arthur   &   gained  the  king’s  forgiveness  but  still  was  unable  to  save  his  life .   arthur  died  in  merlin’s  arms .    &   as  merlin  was  being  told  that  arthur  would  return  again  one  day  when  albion’s  need  was  greatest ,  it  came  to  his  realization  that  this  failure  was  exactly  what  his  destiny  was  leading  up  to .   he  simply  was  never  told  the  end .  
over  a  thousand  years  have  passed  after  arthur’s  death .    the  king  has  yet  to  return .   but  merlin ,  bound  by  destiny ,  still  waits  for  him .
    ─        𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃  𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .
merlin  is  an  only  child .   his  father  was  never  in  the  picture ,  left  before  his  mother  even  knew  she  was  pregnant ,  but  with  how  doting  his  mother  has  always  been  this  fact  hasn’t  bothered  him  very  much .    after  all ,  his  mother  was  never  entirely  alone .    she  had  a  close  family  friend  who  helped  raise  him   &   there  was  also  his  aunt   &   his  younger  cousin ,  simon .     he  never  felt  himself  to  be  a  lonely  child  by  any  means .    
he  grew  up  in  a  small  town  in  wales   &   was  fairly  well  liked .   people ,  if  anything ,  were  amused  by  how  mischievous  he  could  be .   he  was  a  trouble  maker  without  even  trying  much .     he  got  into  odd  fights  against  a  handful  of  bullies  but  he  knew  how  to  dodge  the  right  way  to  wear  them  out  most  of  the  time .    he  seemed  quite  very  unassuming ,  with  high  cheekbones   &   ears  too  big  for  his  head ,  but  merlin  had  always  been  quite  surprisingly  crafty .
he  went  to  school  in  america  for  medicine ,  something  that  his  mother’s  family  friend  had  always  brought  him  interested  in ,  &  came  out  with  good  or ,  at  least ,  average  grades  without  much  effort .    had  his  PhD  by  twenty  six    &   has  now  lived  in  alucard  for  two  years  working  as  a  general  physician .
   ─        𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 .
important  note  on  how  i  play  merlin :   he  is  not  just  “ the  greatest  sorcerer  to  ever  walk  the  earth ”    he  is  also  literally  magic  personified .   “ magic  itself ” ,   as  he’s  called  in  canon .    magic  put  into  a  human  form .    his  magic  is  extremely  powerful  with  very  few  limitations .
anyway .   he’s  goofy  a  lot ,  enough  that  he’s  rarely  taken  seriously ,  but  it’s  a  good  facade  for  him  because  he’s  also  almost  always  lying  when  he  can  be .    it  comes  like  a  second  nature  to  him .    most  don’t  think  much  of  him  because  he’s  pretty  unassuming  but  some  are  astoundingly  interested  by  him .   no  in  between .
remembers  waiting  for  arthur  for  fifteen  hundred  years .   is  a  little  bitter   &   pessimistic  because  of  this .
gets  moody  bc  he  failed  arthur  :/  
the  most  suspicious  bitch .   dude  trusts  almost  no  one .
has  a  slight  gambling  issue .   cheats  often .  counts  cards .
ill  add  more  later  as  i  think  of  it .
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quentinblack · a year ago
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Smoke and Mirrors
Word Count: 2.5K words
Chapter 13 - Andromeda III: Pride and Prejudice (link to full story on FF.net)
Featuring: Andromeda Black & Druella Black
Gaius Lestrange had not been a regular fixture at the Black family’s opulent manor-house in the Bedfordshire countryside for very long, but Andromeda had already grown quite tired of his presence. His persistent brown-nosing of her father over the summer months had been nauseating at best – at worst, even somewhat concerning considering her eldest sister would, at some point in the next 12 months, wed his eldest son and officially join their families together in the process.
Bellatrix had been looking forward to her 17th birthday with baited breath for months, as she would finally be considered a fully-grown adult-witch, thus, not just capable, but also legally able to make her own life choices.
Or at least that was what she had thought.
In hindsight this train of thought had been nothing short of abject naivety on her part, as the mere idea that she would not still be behest to her Father’s will whilst she still lived in his house was nothing more than a pipe dream.
The subject of finding a suitable wizard to marry her off to was not something that had been readily discussed by their Mother and Father in recent times, in-fact -  more or less any subject involving Bellatrix had been off limits following the abortion incident.
Andromeda guessed that Bellatrix had thought after that scandal that she would’ve avoided the long-held tradition of pure-blood arranged marriage. It was something that Andromeda and Cissy had pondered themselves, after all, whilst the Black family name was practically royalty, what self-respecting, rich, pure-blood wizard would wish to marry one of their sons off to Bellatrix after all of that?
That had probably been something that her Father had also been rather concerned about. He had always been bitterly disappointed that he had never been birthed a male heir, but he always had the consolation prize of being able to marry off his darling daughters to the cream of the crop in pure-blood bachelors.
He was very good friends with the obscenely wealthy Abraxas Malfoy and if the rumours were to be believed - they had once discussed the possibility of marrying off their first born children together, with that philanderer Lucius even briefly courting Bellatrix at one point in time.
Of course that was undoubtedly off of the cards completely now, with Abraxas loathe to marry off his prized asset to such a disgraced young witch. Lucius would no doubt end up marrying one of the other less discredited pure-blood girls he liked to pursue at school. It could be Danielle Avery, Amara Greengrass or maybe even that bitch Olivia Burke – but definitely not Bellatrix.
Bellatrix was damaged goods and not even the prospect of their family name, reputation and wealth could paper over the cracks she had created. As her father had discovered - there was not a single self-respecting, rich, pureblood wizard who would considering marrying off their son to such a witch.
However, luckily for him, whilst there were no self-respecting, rich, pureblood wizards who would consider it – there was at least one rich, pureblood wizard that would consider it.
This was where Gaius Lestrange had come into the picture.
He was not self-respecting in the slightest, instead, he was utterly shameless in his lust for power, respect and social climbing. Whilst many other noble men with names like Malfoy, Crouch, Yaxley and Nott had pride and reputation to lose by entering their sons into such a bargain with Bellatrix – Gaius Lestrange was from a family that had not yet managed to carve out such pride or reputation into their name.
From what Andromeda had gathered from her Mother the vast majority of the Lestrange family had still been based in France at the turn of the 20th century, but following Grindelwald’s rise to power in Europe, a lot of the men had moved their wives and children to the comparative safety of Britain.
The patriarchs of the family did not do this to avoid Grindelwald’s war, on the contrary, the vast majority were actively following him into battle - and thus, they feared possible reprisals from a French Ministry that was keen to crack down on the dark wizard’s most loyal supporters by any means necessary.
Gaius Lestrange was still a teenager bogged down in his studies at Hogwarts when Grindelwald fell, with his Father subsequently locked up for life in the same prison that housed the man he had followed until the bitter end.
The Lestrange family had quite a few prosperous business ventures scattered across France, but they were soon purged following their owner’s demise and Gaius and his Mother were left with nothing but the cramped little cottage that housed them in Nottingham.  Andromeda’s Mother had not expanded on how exactly Gaius Lestrange had managed to acquire the comparative riches that he held today, but she did not have any reason to believe it had come about entirely from legitimate business practices. All that she knew was that at some point Gaius, after befriending many other like-minded pure-blood wizards at Hogwarts, had eventually married the misshapen looking Edith Bulstrode and popped out two sons – one of which was now lucky enough to have Bellatrix as his prospective bride.
Rodolphus Lestrange could indeed consider himself lucky to have Bellatrix as his bride, as the lanky, dark-haired boy was not someone that Bellatrix, or indeed any of the other Slytherin girls seemed to show any romantic interest in.
Bellatrix liked to flirt and fornicate with the most powerful, ambitious and talented boys, not quiet, timid lackeys like her prospective fiancé. Rodolphus was not particularly gifted in any of his classes, nor did he possess enough talent on a broom to warrant a place on the dominant Slytherin quidditch side. He was a follower, not a leader, with the only person he seemed to have any influence over being his younger brother, Rabastan, who was even shyer and stranger than his sibling.
Andromeda doubted that Rodolphus would be able to tame her sister, in-fact, she figured Bellatrix would probably chew him up and spit him straight back out. In many ways she thought that made Gaius Lestrange’s eldest son the ideal man for Bellatrix, but if her repeated tantrums were anything to go by, it did not seem likely that she saw it that way herself.
“Andromeda, my dear, you have not eaten much of your steak,” her Mother said suddenly, interrupting her day-dreaming at the dining room table.
“Did Rudy not cook it how you like it? I will summon him at once, he can cook you another one.”
“No, Mother, this one is fine,” she quickly replied before her Mother could have a go at their house elf.
She was not lying – the food that Rudy had prepared her was no less nice than it always was, but she just had too much on her mind to be hungry enough to eat it.
Even if he had over-cooked it she would not have complained about it. She hated to see him chastised by her Mother, or worse, when he would punish himself for the slightest of errors or mistakes in his cooking or cleaning.
Bellatrix had for many years taken a great sadistic pleasure in fabricating problems with the meals he prepared for her, not because she had any particular hatred of him, but purely because she enjoyed watching her Mother berate and punish him. There were even a few occasions that he had broken down in tears, which had brought great amusement to her triumphant sister, who seemed to enjoy watching others getting publicly humiliated, especially if they were people or creatures that she considered beneath her.
“This is not the first time you have not finished your dinner this week, Andromeda. I do hope you are not taking part in that silly dieting trend that seems to have become popular with young witches. The Prophet said it originates from the Mud-
“I am not dieting!” she snapped before her Mother could say the word.
Druella Black did not take too kindly to any of her children raising their voices at her, but ever since Bellatrix’s fall from grace she had been a lot more lenient with her two younger girls.
“Andromeda Black!” her mother muttered in a stern voice.
“I am sorry Mother,” Andromeda lied, which caused the angry expression on Druella’s face to fade away slightly. “I should not have raised my voice at you… it is just lately I…  I am feeling so…
“Yes?” her Mother replied eagerly. “What is it, dear? I have sensed something has not been quite right with you lately, please, do tell me what it is and we can resolve it.”
Andromeda had to think of something fast.
She could not tell her Mother what it was that was really stressing her out. That her Father selling off her sister to the highest bidder like an antique ornament had hit her with the stark realisation that this could one day soon be her fate too.
It wasn’t so bad for Cissy.
Fabian Prewett might be a flamboyant, rebellious Gryffindor, but he was still a pure-blood from a wealthy wizarding family. Her little sister still liked to keep their budding romance a secret, but there was no reason to believe that their Father wouldn’t greenlight a marriage between them if it one day got that serious.
Andromeda would not be so lucky.
Ted was a muggle-born and she would probably be disowned by her Father if he even knew she was dating him, let alone if she asked for his blessing to one day marry him.
“I am absolutely dreading going back to school, Mother,” she mustered up. “We start studying for our N.E.W.T.S and I just… I do not think I can hack it!” Andromeda blurted out, as she unexpectedly burst into tears.
Her Mother did not reach out to comfort her instantly, as she had spent many years training herself and her daughters to avoid showing such extreme emotion, but after a few moments she came closer and began to run her fingers through Andromeda’s dark brown hair.
“Oh, my dearest daughter, you are such a silly girl sometimes,” she whispered softly in a slightly patronising tone.
The reason that Andromeda had burst into tears was indeed due to her dreading the return to Hogwarts, yet it was not her N.E.W.T.S that kept her up at night, but her relationship with Ted.  
Her courtship of him had initially began as an exciting act of defiance and rebellion.
Their first date in Hogsmeade had been somewhat, if not entirely, influenced by her desire to rebound from Lucius Malfoy.  She had thought that if the Slytherin seeker had found out she had been on a date with another boy, a muggle-born no less, that he would first get extremely jealous- and then come to his senses and realise what a mistake he had made by casting her aside for Olivia.
As luck would have it that Hogsmeade trip had seen an incredible torrent of rain, which had put off most students from even bothering to venture out of the castle. Andromeda had headed there primarily to get the books that she wanted, not imagining that the muggle-boy with the silly haircut and the nice cheek-bones would bother braving the rain to meet her – but to her surprise when she had entered Tomes and Scrolls there he had been, browsing a book-shelf on the other side of the room.
They had gone on that date to Madam Pudifoot’s and save for the waitress had not seen a single soul from school the entire afternoon. In hindsight it was damn good fortune that they hadn’t. If anyone from Slytherin had spotted them together then their fledging relationship would have been over before it had even begun.
For the next three months they had primarily communicated by owl-post, with Andromeda frantically studying for her O.W.L.S she at least had a feasible excuse not to want to be too distracted by becoming Ted’s girlfriend. Then in July when most of her exams were over, they had met up again by the Great Lake in “their” spot, when the very last of the year’s Quidditch matches were taking place.
Much like their first meeting they could talk by the trees with very little chance of anyone stumbling upon them. That was when Ted had first raised his suspicions of the real reason why Andromeda had been somewhat pushing him away – that she did not want to be seen in public with him, that she could not be with him because he was a muggle-born.
She had tried to explain to him that it wasn’t that simple – and that he didn’t understand how her parents would react if they learned she was dating a muggle-born. He had at first been crestfallen, then he had furiously issued her an ultimatum, stating that if she was never willing to openly be his girlfriend then they were both just wasting their time.
He had begun to walk away from her when she desperately called out for him to stop, then as he had turned back to look at her she had ran towards him and flung herself into his un-expecting arms, before surprising him even further by passionately pressing her lips against his. It had been their first kiss – and before the sun had set that evening, she was pretty sure they had also had their one hundred and first kiss too.
Over the summer they had met up at least twice a week – and Ted being a muggle-born meant he would always take her places that no witch or wizard would ever see them. It was perfect. It was lovely – and now it was going to be ruined by them going back to Hogwarts.
There were no secret rooms in the castle they could meet up away from the prying eyes of the pure-blood contingency.
Andromeda knew that Ted would not be willing to settle for months of letters and the occasional secret meet-up when there was a Quidditch match on – and he should not have to settle for that, he deserved to be with someone that loved him enough to publicly be his girlfriend.
But how could Andromeda do that?
She couldn’t.
And she knew sooner or later that Ted would break up with her and find someone else who would.
He would probably get with a pretty muggle-born or half-blood girl that didn’t act like a fish out of water whenever meeting up with his non-wizard friends and family. Andromeda would then have to watch Ted and this girl holding hands as they strolled around the castle grounds, or maybe when a Quidditch match was on she would stumble upon them kissing in “their” spot by the Great Lake.
Andromeda felt the hot tears continue to run down her face as her Mother carried on stroking her hair.
“Now, now, Andromeda… you are being so silly. There is nothing for you to worry about. Whatever happens your Father and I will be so very proud of you. Do you hear me?” she said, as Andromeda wiped her wet eye-lids and saw her Mother’s best attempt at a reassuring smile.
“But what if I… what if I-
She briefly considered confiding in her Mother.
It was only for a split-second.
She thought that maybe she would understand.
Maybe she would let her fall in love with whoever she wanted after all.
“Even if you do fail your exams… and Andromeda, dear, you will not, but even if you do… you are a beautiful young pure-blood woman. You will be sixteen in a few weeks. It will not be long before your Father begins to search for a suitable husband for you… and I mean a truly suitable husband, not the… not the riff-raff that your sister has had to make do with… and then Andromeda it will not truly matter how good or bad your grades are. After all, as your Father quite rightfully points out… the only real reason a pure-blood girl needs to go to school is to advertise.”
“To advertise… to advertise what?” Andromeda mumbled amid her post-cry sniffles.
“To advertise themselves to the best young pure-blood men of course. It seems your sister was a bit over-eager in that department – I blame myself partially, although I did do my utmost to prevent her from doing anything too stupid. Oh but I did fail her… I did… oh Andromeda it is all my fault!”
It was not long before her Mother too had begun to cry – and in what was a very un-Black like event, they held each other for a good long while whilst they both bawled their eyes out.
Her mother, crying because she thought that she had not done right by Bellatrix – and Andromeda, crying because she knew now that when the time came, she would not do right by her either.
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fal-carrington · 2 years ago
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Everybody on this fandom who agrees that Gaius motherfucker Augustine don’t deserves a REDEMPTION ARC please raise ur 🤚🏻🤚🏻 I wanna see something
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