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#freddy carter imagines
jahayla-parker · 5 months
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In Sickness & In Health : Freddy Carter x Reader
Description: 3.5k wc, Freddy has been sick but pushed himself to go to a convention he'd previously committed to. He is home now and his wife makes it her mission to nurse him back to health. Fluff, sick comfort
Warnings: fluff, Freddy being too precious, sickness/illness, marriage terminology/phrases, cold symptoms.
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“I land at four, can you please come and get me?” Freddy mumbled, his voice gruff from his cold. His wife y/n had pleaded with him to take it easy during the convention he had stubbornly refused to skip. As much as he was pleased to have been able to be there for the fans and not have backed out last minute due to his illness, he realized his wife may have had a point. He wasn’t too surprised, she usually did. Even if she was frequently overprotective of him, she usually ended up being right with these things. Such is the case today. Freddy could barely even utter the request, his throat aching with each syllable.
Y/n frowned to herself as she heard the way her husband Freddy’s voice cracked. “Of course, my love,” she replied, sighing softly as the request was another sign of how out of it he was. After all, she would always pick him up from the airport whenever he had a trip she didn’t/couldn’t attend with him. They always tried to travel together and she truly wished she could’ve gone with him this time given he’d been sick before he even left their home. But, y/n had a work commitment that she couldn’t get out of that kept her from being able to go with him this time and he refused to stay home and get better. The crackling behind his words made any faint desire to smugly say 'I told you so' dissipate. Her husband was truly more ill than when he'd left, and it didn’t matter that she’d tried to keep it from getting to this point, that she’d warned him that this would happen. The only thing that mattered now was that he got home so she could take care of him until he was better. Then maybe she could say 'I told you so'. “Just try and sleep on the plane, handsome, and I’ll be there to get you as soon as you get in”.
Y/n kept her eyes peeled as she waited for her husband to walk down the ramp. She was waiting in the arrivals section of the airport with his checked bag. She’d already texted him to let him know he could skip baggage claim. Y/n’s lips curled downwards into a pout upon seeing the exhausted state Freddy was in as he slowly made his way down the ramp. Her heart tightened in her chest as she took in the redness in his cheeks and tip of his nose, the way he’d yawned twice already, and how defeated he looked.
Freddy’s eyes slowly searched the airport as he made his way down to where he knew his loving wife was waiting to greet him. He couldn’t wait to be back with her, in their home, where he knew he’d get the love and support he needed to feel better. It took him a few painstakingly slow glances to find her, but when he did, he already felt faintly better. Y/n was here. He was home.
Y/n bit her lip bashfully as she noticed Freddy’s reaction to spotting her. Despite his ill state, she watched his eyes shimmer as soon as they met hers. The smile that instantly graced his lips prompted a matching one to form on y/n’s face. However, as she watched his pace pick up slightly, she lovingly shook her head. Y/n hummed to herself as she walked closer to him so he wasn’t speed-walking for too long since she knew he was already low on energy.
Y/n smiled warmly at Freddy as she carefully pulled his body to her chest. She closed her eyes as his arms slid around her tightly before he nuzzled into her embrace. Y/n rubbed his back through his black hoodie as she let him rest for a few moments, his body faintly leaning on her for support. She frowned to herself as she heard him sniffle. “Let’s get you home, honey,” y/n purred into his ear.
“Thank-" Freddy began, stopping as his voice broke. He sighed and turned away as he cleared his throat. “Thank you for getting my bag,” he repeated, voice still cracking. Freddy went to grab the handle of his checked bag from where it was positioned next to y/n, but she shook her head and pulled it away from him.
“Shhh, sweetie,” y/n pleaded, cupping Freddy’s left cheek with her palm. “You don’t need to talk, nor thank me for that,” she stated warmly. “Just save your voice, love”. She tenderly squeezed his flushed cheek before moving her hand down to grab his. With one hand intertwined with Freddy’s and the other dragging his suitcase, she silently began to lead them in the direction of their car.
Freddy attempted to reply, but his voice cracked right at the start of his sentence. Nevertheless, he knew y/n heard his faint attempt as her head whipped towards him. He sighed lightly as he gave up on trying to talk to his wife. This stupid cold wasn’t making that an option right now. Instead, Freddy gave her a loving look as he squeezed her hand.
Y/n sighed lightly, hating how sick her precious husband was. She once again shook her head lovingly at his stubbornness. “Come on, my sweet boy,” y/n hummed as she smiled warmly at him.
As they made it to the car, y/n had to scold Freddy as he tried to load his own suitcase. Yet, it seemingly wasn’t enough for him to understand that she wasn’t going to allow him to do anything he didn’t absolutely have to right now.
“I can drive,” Freddy stated weakly as he reached for the keys in y/n’s hand.
“Freddy,” y/n groaned, moving the keys out of his reach.
Freddy frowned. “You c-came all the way to get-“ He began, voice croaking.
“Enough of that,” y/n shushed. “I know you like to drive for me, but not right now,” she said softly. She pulled open the passenger door and nodded towards the seat. “Please get in the car before I shove you in it,” y/n teasingly threatened.
Freddy’s eyes widened. He chuckled briefly, but it quickly turned into a cough.
Y/n frowned and stroked Freddy’s cheek as she waited for his coughing to end. When it did, she brushed some hair from his clammy forehead. “Come on now, please?” Y/n requested, giving Freddy a knowing look.
Freddy nodded his head slowly before he slid into the passenger seat. He watched as y/n helped him buckle before she closed the door and made her way to the other side of the car. Despite how exhausted he was and how heavy his eyes felt, he kept a close eye on her to ensure she was safe; even if it was a short distance.
When y/n entered the car, she smiled over at Freddy, knowing he’d been watching her the whole time. She took hold of his hand and squeezed it. “Shouldn’t be too long, traffic wasn’t bad today,” y/n encouraged. “You can sleep on the way though”.
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Y/n had been running her thumb over the back of Freddy’s hand repeatedly as she drove them home. She was pleased Freddy hadn’t tried to talk again, hating how painful it sounded like it was got him to do so. But, she could nonetheless sense him watching her. “What is it, love?” Y/n asked, glancing over at him as she pulled up to a stop light.
“I missed you,” Freddy croaked.
Y/n squeezed Freddy’s hand and smiled tenderly. “I missed you too, Freddy, honey,” she hummed. “And, I expect to hear all about your trip as soon as your voice is better”.
Freddy nodded with a small smile. He weakly squeezed y/N’s hand as he continued staring at her through his tired eyes. “You- you were right though,” Freddy mumbled bashfully.
Y/n tsked and shook her head. “Doesn’t matter now, just close your eyes,” she advised.
“But-“ Freddy argued.
“No buts, rest,” y/n said firmly. “We’ll be home soon,” she promised. Y/n glanced over at him and blew him a kiss before facing the street again. She couldn’t wait to get him home and into bed so he could rest properly.
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Y/n laughed lightheartedly as she wiped Freddy’s clammy forehead. “Honey,” she cooed. “I’m going to get sick if you’re sick, that’s part of the deal,” y/n smiled, stroking his cheek. She watched Freddy continue to fight with himself over the situation.
When they’d gotten home, y/n had convinced Freddy to lie down. She then went and got extra blankets as he’d been having some chills. Once she’d changed clothes, she joined Freddy in their bed to keep a close eye on him. When another chill took over Freddy, he found himself wanting to cuddle and instinctively moved closer to y/n. However, he quickly realized his oversight and had dramatically moved away; almost falling off the bed in the process. Y/n managed to pull an explanation out of Freddy and learned it was because he was worried he was going to get her sick.
Y/n could see Freddy’s protective hesitation in his eyes and she shook her head. She carefully gripped his bicep and pulled him back from the edge of the bed and towards her. “Shhh,” she whispered to keep him from arguing or otherwise trying to speak. “Just let me hold you,” y/n requested demanded lovingly, pulling him even closer.
Y/n hummed in relief when Freddy finally relaxed and let himself melt into her embrace. She pulled the blankets over the both of them, tucking the top end of the fabric under Freddy’s chin. Her arms held his frail body to her chest as she watched his tired eyes struggle to stay open.
“Just relax,” y/n purred quietly, “close your eyes”. She tightened her embrace as she listened closely to Freddy’s breathing. Her own breathing settled when she heard his become lighter. She cautiously glanced down at him to check if he was asleep. Upon seeing his eyes closed, eyelashes splayed out over his high cheekbones, y/n grinned to herself. Her poor sweet sick husband was finally home. And she was going to see to it that he got better.
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“Shhhh,” y/n rushed out as Freddy tried to express his discomfort. “Shh, I know, I know,” she assured him, rushing back to his bedside. Y/n felt his clammy forehead with the back of her hand and sighed in minimal relief since his fever had at least not gotten worse during his nap. “Try some tea for me, Freddy,” she encouraged, moving on to the next of his primary symptoms.
Freddy nodded his head weakly, letting y/n help him slide upwards. Once his back was resting against the headboard and not his pillows, he cautiously took the mug of tea from his wife. A small smile formed on his lips as he sipped the liquid; y/n had made it precisely the way he liked it. “-is good,” Freddy mumbled.
Y/n giggled and pressed a kiss to the top of her husband Freddy’s head. “I’m glad, love,” she mused. “I am going to get started on lunch, okay? I was thinking of making some soup,” y/n explained.
Freddy shivered under the covers and pouted. “Wha-“ he coughed and sighed before looking back up at his wife. “What time is it?” He asked.
Y/n raised an eyebrow at Freddy before responding. “It’s three, darling, why?” She asked skeptically, worried he’d be trying to get up and be productive.
Freddy thought silently for a moment before his eyes widened. “You ha-had that trip to-“ he began, his voice cracking.
Y/n shook her head and sat on the edge of the bed beside Freddy. “Shhh,” she whispered, playing with his disheveled hair. “I canceled that, don’t fret.”
Freddy sighed deeply, which resulted in a coughing fit. He quickly turned his head away from y/n as he tucked his face into his elbow. He felt y/n rubbing his back supportively as he worked through the coughing fit. As he leaned back, he glanced over at her with a sorrowful expression.
“Don’t,” y/n warned. “I already know what you’re going to say, what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours,” she hummed with a smile. “But, I don’t mind. The girls understand. Besides, you come first. Always.” Seeing Freddy was going to still respond, y/n silenced him with the placement of her pointer finger over his chapped lips. “Not a word. I don’t regret it in the slightest. In sickness and in health, yeah?” She winked. “Now, for some chapstick, before those beautiful lips of yours split,” y/n said as she rose from the bed.
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“I shouldn’t have pushed it at the conference,” Freddy groaned. He held his head as he prayed for the medicine y/n gave him to kick in. Feeling y/N tucking him back into the blankets on the couch, he opened his eyes and grabbed her hand. “Sorry I didn’t listen,” He mumured.
“It’s okay, I’m just sorry you’re in pain, honey,” y/n frowned, squeezing Freddy’s hand. “But hey,” she whispered as she brushed from hair from his eyes, “I’m right here, you’re okay now, I won’t let you overdo it, hmmm?”. She smiled softly as Freddy nodded and tugged on her hand to silently ask her to sit with him.
Y/n watched as Freddy snuggled even closer to her. She wrapped her arms around the pile of blankets covering his body. Once he seemed satisfied with his position, y/n moved one hand up to check his temp. She smiled in relief upon seeing that his temp had lowered a decent amount. As she moved her hand van down to hold Freddy, she noticed he was watching her closely with a pout on his lips. “What is it cutie?” She hummed.
Freddy’s flushed cheeks deepened in saturation at the nickname from y/n but he shook his head. He wordlessly kept his eyes on her lips.
Y/n suppressed a giggle as she tracked Freddy’s focus back to her lips. She couldn’t help but smile at the dazed look in his eyes. Y/n shook her head softly before leaning in to give him a kiss. If her sweet boy wanted a kiss, she wasn't going to deny him; sick or not.
Freddy pulled back, squishing the blankets between the sofa and his back. “You’ll get sick,” he muttered.
Y/n smiled warmly in appreciation. She stroked Freddy’s cheek sweetly as she stared into his deep blue eyes. With the smile still on her face, y/n leaned back in. Her smile grew as Freddy eagerly accepted her lovingly defiant kiss.
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"I know you're cold, but that blanket is gross now, you need a clean one,” y/n sighed, pleading with Freddy to let go of the dirty blanket. It has been a few days now that he’d been using the same blanket and y/n worried the germs that were surely on it were keeping him from getting better. Especially since y/n had watched him both practically snot on it and also cuddle with it as he napped.
Y/n smiled and pressed a tender kiss to the top of Freddy’s head in silent thanks when he finally let go of the fabric. “I already have another one ready for you, a clean one,” she smirked. Y/n sped-walked to the laundry room to toss the contaminated blanket into the wash. She quickly washed her hands in the sink before grabbing the laundry basket from the top of the dryer.
Y/n frowned as she watched Freddy angrily press buttons on the remote, a glare on his face. He’d been getting frustrated over nearly every little thing today and there wasn’t anything she could really do to help that. “What’s the problem, honey?” Y/n asked calmly as she walked back over to him.
“It’s not working,” Freddy groaned, his narrowed eyes flickering between the TV and the device in his hand.
Y/n hummed. “What’re you trying to do?” She inquired as she set the basket down on the coffee table.
“Change it back,” Freddy mumbled.
“To the movie channel?” Y/n guessed as she looked up at the television. When Freddy nodded grumpily, y/n set her hand on top of his. “May I?” She asked cautiously. Y/n squeezed his hand lovingly as he passed her the remote control.
“Better?” Y/n asked, effortlessly switching channels. She wasn’t sure exactly what Freddy had been doing, but it didn’t matter; it was fixed now. She smiled at Freddy’s sheepish nod, knowing he realized he’d been overacting to the minor inconvenience. “Look what I’ve got,” y/n grinned, lifting up the clean blanket.
“You’re so cute when you’re sick and needy,” Y/n mumured as she tucked Freddy into the blanket, burying him up to his chin. She giggled as Freddy blushed and snuggled into the blanket, murmuring something about it being warm. “I placed it in the dryer for a bit,” y/n confessed, proud of her innovative approach to keeping him warm.
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“Are you feeling any better?” Y/n asked, brushing Freddy’s hair back from his face as he watched the random movie playing on their TV. A sigh of relief left her lips when he nodded. “Good, you look a bit better,” she agreed. “Did you even see how pale you were?” She pondered, thinking back to photos and videos she’d been sent during the convention.
Freddy nodded again. This time, he followed the silent acknowledgment up by scooting closer to his wife. He nuzzled into her side, smiling softly as she wrapped her arm around him.
“Don’t scare me like that again, Carter. Okay?” Y/n whispered, squeezing Freddy’s shoulder.
Freddy once again nodded. His hands dug around under the warm blanket until they found y/n’s distant hand. He took it in his and squeezed it as he brought it closer to him.
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"Please stop wasting what's left of your voice on complaints about soup you can't even taste,” y/n groaned. “We are out of that brand now anyways,” she pointed out. “I’ll make some homemade soup tonight instead of store-bought, okay?”
Freddy looked up from his bowl of soup. He frowned and shook his head. “It’s fine,” he argued, his sick voice making it sound like he said ‘finD’ instead.
Y/n grinned softly as she walked over to her husband. She leaned down and kissed his forehead, “I don’t mind. Like I said, we’re out of the store-bought ones anyways”. “Plus, if you can actually taste it, I’m pleased to see you’re getting better”.
“I can’t,” Freddy admitted bashfully. When y/n playfully squinted at him, he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth. “I just know it’s not yours, yours is-“ he coughed, “better”.
Y/n giggled, “well, who would I be to deny you of my soup then?”. “Just finish that for now, you need sustenance and my soup will take a bit to make, okay?” She asked, nodding to the bowl in Freddy’s lap. When he began eating the soup, she smiled and stroked his face, “thank you”.
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Y/n rinsed the serving spoon off in the sink before spinning around to face Freddy. “I love that you’re always so full of life,” she admitted, turning to place the spoon into the dishwasher. “But, right now, if you don’t let yourself rest, you’re going to be losing all of that life,” y/n scolded lovingly. “Now, go back and lay down, please”.
Freddy pouted as he turned and sulked out of the kitchen. He just wanted to help. Y/n had been taking care of him for the last several days and she just finished making a big batch of soup for him. He just wanted to at least help with the cleanup.
When y/n had finished putting everything away and had let the leftover soup cool enough, she placed it back in the fridge. Closing the dishwasher door, she dried her hands and quietly made her way back to the living room. She grinned as she noticed Freddy had finished his bowl of soup and promptly fell asleep. He was still very fatigued, but y/n was glad he was otherwise starting to feel better.
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“Thank you for this week,” Freddy repeated, holding y/n closely. He buried his nose in her hair, happy he could once again smell the sweet scent of her shampoo and conditioner.
Y/n groaned dramatically. She shifted on Freddy’s embrace until they were face to face. She lifted her hands up and placed her palms against his cheeks. “Stop thanking me. You’re my husband, I’m always going to take care of you when you’re ill,” y/n reminded him warmly. “But, if you still want to thank me, I’d accept a kiss,” she smirked.
Freddy grinned widely and laughed. He shook his head lightly as he gazed at y/n. “Bloody hell, I love you,” he muttered. Freddy tenderly pulled y/n’s face closer to his as he closed his eyes and leaned in to reward her with a kiss as requested.
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strangermurdock · 1 year
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freddy carter really gave us the most book accurate kaz brekker, I had chills during this scene.
THATS MY KAZ BREKKER!!!
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I cant handle this
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futurecorps3 · 1 year
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Hello my love! I have heard your call for Kaz requests and I have an idea rattling around in my head!
Could you maybe do a Kaz x fem!Reader where they're in their early 20s and have been together for years and overcome Kaz's touch aversion (bc our poor boy deserves some healing 😭)? But that's not the idea, the idea is that the reader hasn't been sleeping for a few nights and ends up getting hurt because of it? Could be from fainting and hitting her head, slow reflexes on a job, etc. I trust your brilliant mind!
I can't wait to watch you grow as a writer!!!! ❤️
𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐮𝐦
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Masterlist<3
Summary: The lack of sleep Kaz has been warning his girl about finally has consequences. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader Warnings: Mentions of overwoking, lack of sleep, blood, a very angsty moody angry sad Kazzle, mentions of blood and lost of conscience. The usual crow violence! Lmk if I missed any. Word Count: 3.5K whoops Requested: Yes
A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I love the prompt, however and am very excited to work on this. Hope u like it nonnie and that last thing means the absolute world! <3
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Now he knew he was in no position to demand her to rest. Kaz Brekker was known in his close circle for two things; killing whoever disrespected his love and always scheming. The electricity his brain consumed when plotting the next heist didn't even allow him to sleep when being tucked in with Y/N laying over his chest. But she never had the same issue before!
That's how it worked. She got mad because he wasn't sleeping and would reproach his ears off until he folded and left his papers to join her in bed. So, it was safe to say Kaz was startled when he noticed the absence of steps approaching his office. The clock read the time to be a quarter past midnight. He learned by endlessly scolding from you the hard way it was no use staying up late for a job when he had pretty much everything prepared, so he dropped everything and left to his room.
"Darling, are you-" his question was answered as he opened the door and saw her drawing on the little desk he got for her. "Hmm, hi love. It's quite early. What are you doing here?" Kaz wanted to laugh at that. Had she really lost notion of time that badly? "It's past midnight now, Y/N. What are you working on?" His shirt was discarded in some chair, along with his coat.
He was now in his dress pants and a black sleep blouse, leaning over the back of her chair to see the canvas. It was a picture of the sea, surely an image she hadn't been able to get out of her head after the quick trip you took to the docks with Wylan to ensure a better hiding spot, in case things went south on Saturday.
"I don't know if I'm getting the blues right... you know how it somehow turns gray when the day's rainy?" she wondered out loud. "Don't throw it away altogether, I know you're already thinking about it" "I'm not!" Y/N giggled, knowing fully her boyfriend could read her mind. "Fix it in the morning. Let's go to bed now, yes?" Kaz tried, tilting his head to her right side and nudging his nose a little on her cheek as she hummed in response.
It had taken a long time, many years, to reach these moments. Years of hoping she could one day have his arms draped around her waist in security, head on his chest without a care in the world, because all that really mattered was they'd be keeping each other warm with their bodies. Y/N was patient, not minding the baby-steps and Kaz's constant need to push her away because he thought she deserved better. Truth is, there was no one better for her.
Kaz had a hard time wrapping his head around this fact. Did you love him for him? A limping criminal who was too weak to even bear the thought of embracing you when tears streamed down your cheeks on a specially tough day? Why? It took convincing, long talks, difficult moments and even worse fights... but you made it.
She felt his steady heartbeat as they lay together in their silk black sheets, indulging in the beauty of it. Their breathings became one, and she swore there was no better place the saints could come up with as heaven. "Everything's ready?" "Yes, I figured I should come here with you instead of overthinking it all. I'll tell everyone the plan tomorrow and revise it again the day before" he took a deep breath, turning to face her and leaving a soft kiss on her lips.
"It's late, you don't seem tired" Kaz noted, Y/N's eyes nowhere near closing as they usually would by now. Her boyfriend, on the contrary, was starting to hide that beautiful icy green his irises held, then came a yawn to confirm his fatigue. "Rest, my love. I'm sure I'm not too far behind," she assured him, pecking his head as he lay on her chest now.
"Goodnight, Kaz".
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It may as well have been minutes, or hours, days, for all she cared to reason. All she knew was that she couldn't sleep for the life of her. Kaz moved a lot in his sleep and after he lost hold of her, the night became a non-stop tossing and turning in their shared bed. She could hear the faint sound of carriages passing down their street, surely carrying some rich merchant who just had the night of his life betting or in one of the pleasure houses.
It had been a while since she felt this way. Pretty much every night prior Kaz offered her a permanent position on the crows after she worked with them was like this. The clock in their room, hanging on a wall distant from her, kept ticking and if it got quiet enough, she could've been able to hear the gears turning. Three in the bloody morning and Y/N had luckily gotten by far twenty minutes of sleep. The girl sighed and lay down again, looking up at the ceiling briefly before closing her eyes in hopes of resting a little more.
She didn't, not even in the days ahead. Kaz pointed out how he could feel her moving way more than usual as his a light sleeper, not blaming her whatsoever but more concerned as to what was keeping her up. Y/N didn't know either, so she figured solving it with Jesper's coffee and quick (very ineffective) naps on the couches and tables at the slat so she could at least be aware of the task at hand; the job.
The day came, and she felt very optimistic about it all. Truth is, Y/N loved dressing up with pretty dresses and daggers hidden around her thighs. She found some kind of satisfaction in keeping this knowledge to herself, the men and women throwing looks at her, completely unaware of how dangerous she happened to be. People on the streets knew her as the wild child... ruthlessly gorgeous, is what Kaz called her.
The girl had a habit of getting carried away in a fight. Too much anger and resentment for the past had to find an exit. It did when she killed, leaving a scared Jesper to deal with an even more scared Wylan who wouldn't dare look her in the eye for weeks after she kept on punching a man's face she saw was trying to kidnap a little girl right after a job years ago. Kaz helped and understood.
His revenge was calculating and took years in which she was by her side, but Y/N just couldn't help herself when it came down to the people who did unspeakable things to her. With the years, she got a hold of herself even though her nickname on the barrel stuck, adding "the crow queen" when word got around she was Brekker's girl. Now, she was still ruthless but way more cold-headed and grounded, Kaz's doing.
She wore a pink dress with embroidered roses around the floaty sleeves. Inej had a blue set of dress pants and shirt, long-sleeved as well as Nina sported a hot red strapless dress with a lot of cleavage. "We're a smoke show! Those fuckers will barely be able to keep their eyes off of us." The last one squealed, adjusting her hair "That's the point" Inej giggled, agreeing clearly as she looked at herself in the mirror.
Y/N laughed at the thought and her head pained a little; Girls on those big houses did the very same thing they were doing now, with very different intentions. Those ladies wanted to find a rich husband, and they'd be set. Her friends were dressed to kill, and so was she. A little fucked up version of a cliché she, too, wished to live when she was little. "I hope these sleeves aren't an issue" she wondered, picturing them getting stuck on their knife or maybe being too tight to throw a punch.
"It's a simple job, love. There's nothing to be worried about! Also, I can bet on my life Kaz is going to be drooling over you when he sees." Nina smiled, playfully smacking her shoulder. "Even more so if you fight in that, he's going to go insane" spoke the Suli girl with a giggle "Kinky" the heartrender added, making the girlfriends break in a fit of laughter. Nina was right, Y/N knew, but decided against confirming her friend's assumptions.
Her eyes felt droopy from the obvious lack of sleep but nothing a cup of coffee couldn't fix, right? She walked down the stairs and into the makeshift kitchen they owned, heating up some. The smell filled her body with pleasant chills, and suddenly some more energy invaded her. "Wacha got there?" asked Wylan, who was quietly sitting behind her. How long had he been there? How did she not notice?
"Coffee, want some?" "Right before a job?" "Yes, I haven't been sleeping too well the last couple of days". Certain zemeni voice erupted from outside the room, exclaiming a brief "Neither have us!" that had the merchling blushing like he got some contagious disease. Y/N delivered a pat on his back, and coffee in hand she exited the room.
Kaz gathered everyone in the living room, to revise the plan once more. "...so make sure you cover that corn-" He stopped mid-sentence when Y/N came into view. Her hair looked polished, but she could be bald for all he cared. The dress complimented her figure beautifully, adjusting in the right places, which to Kaz was any place, really. Inej and Nina giggled and high fived. "Go on, love." She smiled, ready to listen attentively at his plan even though he made sure to walk her through it personally a few hours ago.
As Y/N brushed next to him, he grabbed her hand to make her stop right before she got seated. "You're stunning. Is it comfortable?" he whispered, looking at her with a certain glow in his eyes he once thought lost. "Yes, dear. Thank you" she pecked her boy's cheek and took a seat behind him. He went on with the plan, and everyone seemed pretty much ready to leave.
So they did.
˚ · • . ° .
"Darling, watch out!" Jesper exclaimed, shooting at a man behind Y/N. Things went south, they did. In the hiding spot Wylan and the girl had settled; some dreg must've ratted, they guessed. An ambush from some new-forming band trying to get known by stealing from The Crows themselves, pathetic. Inej had gotten there to help, but Y/N and Jesper insisted she went back and warned the others so to spare them from possible damage.
The wild child and Jesper were a great team, who knew a durast and an avid fighter could take down men three times their size and weight? They proved on many occasions to be useful for situations as these, so there was no problem. They'd be out of there in the blink of an eye. Around ten people had arrived at the scene, and four remained, Y/N realized as she took a kick in the gut and fell on her back, jumping back on her feet with a flip.
Jes' revolvers did the job for two others as she managed with the guy in front of her. "Come on, big guy, that can't be the best you got, aye?" she smiled wickedly, taunting the man with a daring hand despite the very much broken rib she could feel. The dress was ruined with blood she was sure wasn't hers, shreds ripped it off so largely one of her legs was now exposed.
He lunged forward, coming with a dirty blade to her throat, and she skipped it. Came again, now, aiming for her arm and she skipped it again, landing a kick on the throat that left him coughing on the ground. Y/N crouched to his level and grabbed him by the hair, sliding a knife in the same spot, careful not to cut. She noticed a tattoo on his neck, a beaver. Couldn't help but laugh. "You tell your boss not to mess around with us, or next time he won't get too lucky as to get less than half of his men in one piece. And change the tattoo, a bloody beaver? Seriously?"
The man nodded furiously, tripping on his way out of the warehouse. "A beaver? Their thing is beavers?" Jesper laughed, putting his babies back in place and making sure the painting they had stolen was still with him. "I know, couldn't pick a funnier thing" she answered, giggling. Looking around, something was odd. Yes, Y/N was not very well educated and lacked the month of college her best friend had, but she thought she counted four men remaining in this spot of the building.
The other six lay limp near the door, and there were two next to them, plus the one who ran with the message. One was missing. "Hey Jes I think we're missing one" "What do you mean? There's no one here". She stopped listening and her world went quiet when he met his yes. A lanky, tall figure could be seen next to a stack of boxes on her right, a flicking light revealing him for brief intervals of time. Ugly motherfucker carrying a gun that pointed straight at her.
The blood started gushing out of her leg before she could even react. "Too slow" she faintly heard. He wasn't stopping either; shooting at various places until one loud boom next to her made it cease. Was concrete always this cold? Oh, she was now feeling Jesper's soft suit. Warmer. "Is that wool?" Y/N asked and realized her voice sounded a little quieter than she meant. "Yes, it is doll. Open your eyes for me, okay? You can't die on me now"
She really tried. She really wanted to look at her best friends face and maybe hear him crack a joke or two. But her eyes felt droopy and her head felt heavy so she finally fell asleep.
˚ · • . ° .
Kaz arrived minutes later, Wylan, Nina and Inej by his side as they all rushed to a crying Jesper, desperately trying to wake Y/N up. "S-she got shot, didn't flinch.. like she didn't even see the bastard," he hiccuped, letting his boss take his place next to a limp body as his boyfriend helped him up and hugged him tightly.
Brekker's head spun. A thousand possibilities. There was blood all over the dress, and leaking over his clothes but he couldn't give a fuck. Not her. He couldn't bare it. Y/N was a piece of heaven in that saint forsaken island, the only saint he ever believed in and the angel that saved him from himself. If he lost her, there was no coming back for him. The water rose to his nose again for a brief moment.
It hadn't happened in a while. And he chose the techniques his lover taught him. He acted. "Nina" he mumbled, taking Y/N on his arms as the grisha girl assured him she had a pulse. His legs carried him to the slat, never too far from Nina, as she was making sure her pulse didn't slow down too much. He didn't even notice the pain in his bad leg. He felt a sting on his heart, so sharp it seemed as if pieces of broken glass would poke through it at any moment.
The boy sent Inej looking for whatever idiot decided it was a good idea to try and steal from them. Only information. He'd take care of them later. The Wraith left and was out all night, returning with a lot to say the next morning. Kaz looked over at Y/N's face and the utter peace that brushed over her features scared him even more. Not now. Not like this.
"Is she going to be okay? T-there was definitely something wrong with her back there" Jesper started once the girl was on the bed and getting healed with a few healers in the dregs and Nina. Kaz was sitting, head propped up in his hands as he stared at the wall opposite from him. "She didn't move! At all! He shot her three times and looked amused while doing it". The zemeni man had to stop if he wasn't trying to reunite with the other deceased blessed people on his bloodline. Kaz's stare hardened and his jaw clenched tightly.
"Wylan, I can't lose her. She was too slow a-" "ENOUGH" Kaz stood up, looking at him with murder in his eyes. "If you were more aware of the surroundings, she would be fine. Don't you dare call her slow. This is not her fault. You should've been there" menacing gloved finger pointing to his friend. "Oh, so this is my problem now?" Jesper countered in complete disbelief. "If you don't consider your best friend's life being at critical risk a problem you're much more of a superficial, incompetent and heartless bastard than I thought." Kaz spat.
He knew this wasn't Jesper's fault, maybe it was the lack of sleep or you just weren't on your element. But he had to let it out with someone. Anyone. Pain turns into anger and screaming at your brother when it's too strong. He knew that better than anyone and couldn't care to stop himself this time. "Kaz, stop" Wylan said, and then he noticed Jesper's puffy eyes with a sigh. Then he felt his own neck starting to tickle. He was crying. Kaz Brekker didn't cry.
"Out" "But Ka-" "I SAID OUT"
And out they were. Everyone who didn't need to be there to save his girl's life. He could hear Nina struggling between wrecked sobs, fast pacing around the room and a distant sound of water running non-stop. Hours passed, and he remained in the same position, in the same chair, with the same thoughts running wild inside him.
Not you. Please. I should've been there. I'm going to kill them. Please be okay. I can't do it without her. Please.
Kaz Brekker was repeating pleas, thinking out loud to whoever was listening. Let her live. Please let her live. This is not her fault. Not to a god, neither to those saints who proved to exist so many years ago. He didn't know who he was asking for help to. But he was screaming, please don't let her go. He was leaving with her if she did.
All sound stopped, and Nina emerged from the dimly lit room, drying her cheeks. The boy stood up, looking at her with the most terrified look he ever gave someone. Fuck the facade. He was utterly afraid. "She's okay, not waking up, but she will". He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and couldn't help but throw himself into Nina's arms in search for some comfort to his wrecked sobs.
His friend received him with open arms, careful not to squeeze him too hard, as she knew that could trigger him. "I can't lose her, Nina" he whimpered before pulling away. "You're not. Not now and not soon. She's okay, Kaz. Stay with her, will you? She could be a little startled if she wakes up in an empty room"
He almost scoffed at that. What else would he do? A quiet nod was delivered, and he stepped inside to accompany her in an uncharacteristically unsettling silence. There were dirty gauzes everywhere, her dirty dress discarded in a corner and a blanket covering her figure. Kaz stopped, looking at your chest. It rose and fell in a moderate rhythm. Good.
Taking a seat once again, he held her hand and brushed a thumb over it, grateful to whoever listened. And Nina.
Sun bled through the curtains, filling it all with a pleasant orange hue Kaz knew Y/N would appreciate. Jesper came by every few hours and amends were made. He understood how badly everything hit Kaz the day before and didn't need an apology. They were all under intense pressure the day before, couldn't blame him for a such a reaction. Wylan had brought flowers and Inej made sure everything was ready for when she regained consciousness.
His crows got it handled.
A whole day and a half had gone by and he was reading beside her when she woke up. Her hand moved and he could feel the twitch in his palm, looking up frantically to find those pretty y/e/c eyes looking back at him. "Finally, got some sleep," she joked and laughed at her own joke. Kaz laughed back. "Hello" he offered, kissing her hand and never really wanting to let go "Hi". "Are you feeling okay?" the boy asked, happy to see his lover once again awake.
"It hurts a bit but I'll live" "I'm counting on that, my love". ♡
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delic7te · 1 year
Text
sweet dreams | kaz brekker
kaz brekker x reader
summary: after an exhausting day, kaz lets you spend the night in his office
a/n : sorry for not responding to reqs, life was kinda happening. anyway here's something I wrote a long long time ago
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Kaz caught himself looking at you for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, as if you might fall into the ground if he averted his gaze away from you.
The Crows were heading back to The Slat, worn out after a risky heist that ended up being a success but left them all exhausted and weak, eager to go lay back for a good sleep.
Except Kaz. The man was almost always wide awake and on watch, busy with something buisness related. He allowed you to tag along with his work at times because you had quite a gift for things like he did, even though he hired you as a weapon more than as a mastermind. But you became both and Kaz trusted you enough to let you help him out with planning heists and managing the Dregs, as you were in the buisness almost as long as he was. Of course, you had your own reputation and jobs, sometimes working for Kaz but mostly for yourself.
Still, Kaz and you partnered up at times.
When you were finally at the Slat, everyone drifted into their rooms immediately and shortly fell sound asleep. But Kaz needed to get some work done as always, which meant he would take you with him.
"Y/N, come along", he told you when you came through the door, glancing down at you again. You looked like you hadn't slept for weeks, your eyelids threatening to shut down any second now. "Huh?"
"There's some paperwork left if you don't mind", Kaz explains as he limps up the stairs, you following behind.
"Alright." A quiet sigh leaves your lips. "I planned on staying up a little anyway" , you lie.
Kaz felt bad for keeping you up even though he knew all you wanted to do was to lay back on your bed and give your mind a rest, but he still kept a straight cold expression when you both sat down in his office.
You took of your coat and put it on the couch by his window, sitting down on a chair opposite of his at his desk. Kaz sat right down, picking up files and spreading them all over the desk. "Where were we?"
You let out a yawn, covering your mouth with your hand. "Are you sure this can't wait until the morning?"
It could. He knew it could. Yet something in him told him to keep going and keep you by his side for as long as possible.
Tonight, during a job, Kaz got really concerned for you. It was dangerous, bloody and filthy out there and even though you fend for yourself perfectly in jobs like that, he still sometimes saw you as a butterfly whose wings are about to be torn off by vultures and the cruel world.
He hated that. He hated feeling that type of cautiousness. But when you were in his office, working by his side, he could have an excuse to be in your presence while you were perfectly safe. He would never admit that to you, so he would rather keep you occupied and close to him.
"Hang on for just a few minutes, can you?"
With no choice and a small nod, you get back to all the paperwork scattered on the desk before you. "Atleast we got what we needed tonight."
♤—————————♤
After some time of silent working together, Kaz stands up from the desk. "Excuse me for a minute", he says as he limps to the bathroom.
Kaz shuts the bathroom door, taking off his gloves. He splashes his face and gloves with water, refreshing himself.
His thoughts shift back to his partner in the next room. When had he begun to trust a person like this? Maybe it were your talents: your fighting skills, your calculated moves, your bright, sharp mind. Or it was simply your charm and wit that enchanted him whole.
Those few minutes of peace with you were all he wanted for the rest of his life. It frustrated him, how much space could someone take up in his head.
Kaz walked out of the bathroom, when he saw you lay your head over your crossed arms spread out on the desk. Your eyes were shut and you looked as if you just passed out.
He realized how he kept you up for no reason, just his selfishness, even though you were tired out of your mind. This time he didn't want to wake you, but he figured you won't be comfortable if you fell asleep in the position you were currently in.
"Y/N?", he whispers softly, careful not to startle you.
Your head rises from the wooden surface. "Sorry", you mumble, rubbing your eyes.
Kaz sits back down. "Don't be. You can stay here overnight, if you wish. My room is open to you."
You shook your head. "No, I'll go back to my place, I'll be fine."
He scoffs. "Just accept something for once. We don't want you to pass out on your way out, do we?"
There was silence after you sighed, burying your face in your hands.
"I insist", Kaz finally says, and you didn't want to resist anymore because you knew that in the end he would make you stay.
"Where would you sleep?"
"I don't need to, yet. Don't worry about me."
"Even geniuses need sleep, Kaz", you frown, standing up from your chair.
He shrugs. "Exactly why you're gonna stay here and get some rest."
"I'll just take the couch here."
When you finally layed down on the couch close to his desk, none of you said anything for a long time. Kaz kept scribbling with his pen, which lulled you to sleep even more.
"You did a good job tonight", Kaz breaks the silence, surprising you.
Your eyes find his and you gaze at each other for a moment. A small nod of appreciation was all you left off before letting your eyelids close and the darkness take over.
♤—————————♤
Kaz was finally done with working for the night, which was slowly turning into the morning. It was really late, and you had been asleep for about an hour on the couch, eyes shut and eyelashes spread over your plum cheeks.
You looked relaxed, pleasantly at peace. It was a sight Kaz couldn't take his eyes off.
Before heading to his room, he noticed that it was getting chillier in the space and that nothing covered your body from it.
There was an old blanket hanging from the end of the couch and he picked it up, placing it on top of you and protecting you from the cold in the air.
He admired you one last time. "Sweet dreams, Y/N/N", he whispers, turning around to leave the room.
"Night, bastard", replied a sleepy voice behind his back. Kaz freezes, slight embarrassment washing over him.
He was now glad he wasn't facing you, because he couldn't contain himself from letting his lips stretch into a wide smile.
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writersblockedx · 1 year
Text
The Things we do
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Pairing - Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader Summary - When Kaz finds out a rivial gang has taken you hostage, he'll stop at nothing to find you again. Warnings - Angst, violence, torture, wounds, blood, hurt/comfort vibe Words - 2.8K
Masterlist
Kaz didn't know where you were. And, even worse, neither did you.
What you did know however: your head was pounding, the room was dark and you were tied to a chair. Your head dragged up, blood trickling from your cut lip as you faced your captor. She was a mean face. Her eyes flooded with fury that you doubted ever left and she bred the sense of vex with every step she took. If anyone was to be a psycho kidnapper, it would have been her.
"Y/n Y/l/n." A voice called your name like it was illegal, like it was something to be dragged through the dirt.
Your captor took a step back, revealing the man who was sitting in the chair behind her. In no way was he rough around the edges like the girl was. In fact, he wore a suit to fit, his lips moulded into something he seemed to use as a weapon. And despite her cut lip and likely bruised features, her head tilted and she pushed her luck. "Nice to know you know, because I've got no idea who you are." Maybe had you not just been kidnapped, you might have been more composed.
The man stood and she felt herself lean as far back in her chair as she was able. "It doesn't matter who I am." He said; his voice so monotone for the context of the situation. "I just need to know about you."
You weren't so sure where this was headed. Your mind was still trying to catch up with the punches you had just endured, attempting to understand where you were and how you were in fact going to get out of it. "Me?" You reiterated, flashing some puppy dog eyes you knew weren't going to work. But it was worth a try in this situation.
He nodded and then a word slipped from his lips. Just one word and that was all you needed to know you were in the shit now. "Crow." Them puppy dog eyes slipped away as easily as they had settled. Suddenly, you came to realise the severity of the situation and you questioned if you would be able to get out of it. The suit man looked over to the captor, nodding his head as if giving a silent command.
Like that, just as he turned his back and started walking away, a fist came flying. The knuckles of the woman's palm cracked against your cheeks with a thud. You had groaned but didn't dare say a word. You glanced back up at her through the lingering bruises. "Are the rest of you crows at the crow club?"
"Why do you want to know?" You should have known where speaking back was going to get you.
Just as quickly as them words had left your lips, another punch came crashing at your jaw. And you struggled with that one. It erupted a groan as you settled within the pain that plagued you. "What about Kaz? He's the boss right?" She continued to interrogate.
You gazed over at her through stern, mean eyes. "You can punch me till I'm bloody, I'm not telling you anything."
This time, a punch didn't follow. Instead, you watched as the woman wandered around the chair you were glued to. She walked over to a side table, retrieving a small box. It wasn't until she opened the box that you grew nervous. There were several tools. Many of them rusty and blunt but in the hand of your kidnapper, still rather painful. She took one of the bluntest knives, one that had rusted so much it was burnt and brown. With that in hand, she wandered around once again.
"Anything you went to get off your chest now?" Asked the woman.
You could feel your breath itch in your throat, feeling her shadow hover right over your shoulder. It was daunting but didn't stop you as you quipped back, "Do your worse." And she certainly did.
She took the blade. At first, it brushed over the prickles of your skin, then, within a flash, you felt it jab into your shoulder. With that, you let out a piercing scream. The metal seeming to have shot so deep into your body it felt as if it were scraping against your bone. You didn't have to look to know it was bleeding. By the time the weapon had dug into your skin, the blood was dripping down towards your elbow.
The woman took a firm grip over the blade. With every single, slight touch it was painful. Just the brush of her fingers against the metal had felt agonising. So when she took a hold of it, a groan escaped your lips. She leaned over the bleeding shoulder, "You're gonna tell me what I need to know." Her voice was a whisper but it felt deafening in your ear.
Your breath was uneven and, just as you were about to catch it, she shoved the blade down further. Another scream erupted from your lips. This one louder and much more of an echo. And once more, she leaned over your shoulder, "Where does Kaz keep the money?"
Once you let out a sigh, you looked over at her, "I'm not telling you." You were stern in your words even if everything in your body already wanted to give in.
This was what being a crow was. It was criminal. It was getting beating up and getting bloody, but it was dealing with that. And so you would. At least, you would try. Because when she even grasped the metal, you were regretting your decisions. "Wait, wait!" She stopped; so did the pain. You took a breath, trying to gather your thoughts that the pain had cut through. "Please..." You couldn't imagine anything worse than another touch from that blade.
She asked the same question: "Where does Kaz keep the money?"
A long moment followed. One in which you knew you were going to give in, even if it killed you to betray Kaz like that. Your fellow crow, your boss, the man who had took you in when you had nothing. "There's a safe. It's under his desk in the office. The office is upstairs in the crow club." Like it was nothing, you spilled everything.
"See," She paused and in one swift movement, tore the knife from your skin. Another scream erupted. But it was the last one you would have to endure. "Wasn't that difficult, was it?" She had no idea what you were in for with Kaz now. "Now, when's this office left empty?"
You knew this plan was so this gang could get their sticky fingers on Kaz's money. And maybe you should have cared more to not spill all this information considering Kaz paid your wage. But alas, the fear of the pain was seeming to pull the words from your lips, "When there's-"
You didn't know why or what had happened at first, only that your kidnapper had fallen right in front of you. Then you spotted the knife in her back. You almost couldn't believe it at first. Well, not until your head snapped up to figure that was wandering from the doorway. "Inej?" The woman removed the scarf that masked her face as she rushed forward without another word.
She went around straight away, her hands reaching out and untying the rope which bound you. "Where is she?" Came another voice which boomed through the building. A wave of guilt passed you as you came to recognise the voice: Kaz.
"In here!" Replied Inej.
And like that, the man came through. His eyes pooled with sympathy, completely unaware of how you had just betrayed him. Not that he had noticed. In that moment, Kaz had never felt such relief. Over the period you had been lost, he hadn't felt himself breathe. He sent Inej and Jesper left, right and centre until finally, they got a hit. A rival gang that barely hand enough bullets to take down the three of them. He couldn't care who had taken you. It could have been the king himself and he would have still swug through battlefields, explored every inch of this world, whatever it took just so it could get to you.
Now, with your eyes interwinding with his, he rushed to you. Inej had only just let the rope fall from your body and it was suddenly being engulfed by Kaz. At first, it had shocked you. Then you soon settled into the comfort which was ever so familiar. With your head situated on his shoulder, your gaze glanced to the doorway, finding Jesper stood there. He too just as relieved, taking in the sight of his boss and his friend tangled within the comfort of one another. Jesper knew that Kaz needed that hug just as much as you - if not more so.
When he pulled away, you were met with that worrisome gaze which seemed to devour you. "Can you stand?" Kaz questioned.
And while you couldn't exactly give him a reply, you nodded and that was enough. His hands came around, taking a hold of your own as he helped you to your feet. He guided you towards the exit, not daring to let his touch fall. About half way there, you both stopped. There came the sound of a thud from behind you. It wasn't until you turned, finding that Inej had pulled her knife from your captor's back that you came to realise why. Of course she taken her knife back. No one chose to comment. Instead, you found that it was normal and continued walking, following Jesper.
By the time you made it home, the Crow Club was empty. It wasn't until later that you would come to realise Kaz had closed the club, needing the empty space to focus on finding you. Something he was thankful for now he had you in his arms.
Once you got home, Jesper pulled a chair up for you, forcing you to sit down as he tended to the wound plaguing your shoulder. Inej was sat on a table across from you, sharpening a knife while Kaz was standing behind you. And for a moment, it was all silent. All their attention was focused on you and the wound which was buried deep into your skin. Yes, it felt as bad as it looked. "You sure you're okay?" Inquired Jesper as he pulled your shirt down for easier access.
You didn't bare look at any of them, knowing the pity you were likely to receive. "I'll be fine, Jesper." You replied without much emotion in your tone.
Jesper gave a concerned look to the man standing behind you. Something of which you had missed, too busy replying the memory of the knife in your shoulder to take note. "Okay, okay." Jesper said. "But just know," He paused as he gathered his needle and thread, "This isn't going to be pretty."
You didn't look to him as you answered, "Just clean it up, will you?" You weren't so much in the mood for Jesper's playful mood like you normally were. "I don't want an infection and a stab wound."
And like that, Jesper's lips stayed sealed as he gathered his items, staring at the wound as he attempted the best way to tackle it without hurting you so much. "What were they asking you?" Inej spoke up as her head lifted to meet yours. "Did you tell them anything?" That question made you wince.
Jesper scoffed, "It doesn't matter anyway, you killed em'." He did make a good point there, something you were silently thankful for.
"And by the looks of things," At the sound of Kaz's voice, you finally turned, meeting his gaze which seemed attached to the wound sitting on your shoulder. "You didn't tell them anything either."
Had it not been for the groan that came with the needle making contact with your shoulder, you might have said. Instead, you sucked in a breath before letting out a, "Jesper." in a snap.
"Sorry," He apologised. "I did say its not gonna be pretty." And with that, he started to thread you skin back together like it were clay.
"Do you know who it was?" Inej continued to interrogate.
You thought on it for a moment but with your pounding head, you couldn't come up with much. "No." You said first. "He wore a suit like he was trying to be more fancy than he was."
"That's it?" Critiqued Jesper from behind you, his snooty tone prompting you to gaze over at him. "He was too fancy for a suit? That's what you gathered?"
Your glare turned deathly, "I was a bit preoccupied with the fact they kept punching and threatening me...obviously." You agrued.
"Careful," Said Jesper. "Don't forget whose holding this needle." The small prick of metal glistened in his hand before your eyes rolled, turning back around.
"So we have no idea who these people are." Kaz concluded as his gaze jumped from you, something which had only enhanced that ever-heavy feeling of guilt which burdened you.
A loud exhale, almost loud enough to be classed as a sigh, came from Inej, "Suppose it's a good thing you didn't tell them anything the-"
"Ouch!" Your voice shot through the club.
All eyes came to you and your burning stare that was being pointed at Jesper. He had slipped. Only the smallest of bits but still, you had snapped at him like that. And what was worse, your anger didn't die down. Instead, you stood abruptly, tearing the needle from further patching up your wound. "Y/n-" Kaz started but you were already walking away.
And without even looking back at him, you said, "I'm fine." And continued on, eager for some privacy where the guilt of spilling your guts didn't linger.
You escaped into your room, taking in the air like it was fresh, like it wasn't intoxicated like the rest of the club was. The room was lonely, and it was empty, free of anyones opinion and judgement. With tears pricking your pupils, you wandered over to the mirror. Your shoulder took all your attention. Sure, Jesper had sewed up about half of it but the wound was still sharp and deep into your skin. It's edges ridgid and screaming to be tended to.
With a huff, you pulled your t-shirt back up, groaning at the pain which came with the contact. And you continued on with shakey legs and even shakier breath as if you could continue on. You soon came to realise it wouldn't be that easy.
The door clicked open and you tensed, suddenly appreciating your back was facing the door. The tears were easily about to slip from your eyes and that was something no one needed to see. "I told you I was fine." You said, sucking in a sharp breath that you preyed gave you the air you needed to not let those tears fall.
"You're not meant to be." Only then did you come to realise the intruder in your room was none other than Kaz Brekker. And his voice was enough to prompt you to turn, meeting his soft features which made you weak. "Whatever you went through, it was always going to be painful."
He had no idea what was truly the cause of your pain. "I've been beaten before Kaz." You argued.
He took a cautious step into the room, knowing you could force him out at any given moment. "None of us expect you to be okay, this wasn't just any normal beating, Y/n." He went on, providing comfort which would normally be accepted. But considering he didn't know the full story, it was a struggle to accept it.
Until, in a rushed decision, you gambled your whole relationship with Kaz. "I don't care that they hurt me, that they punched, stabbed, bled me like I was a doll. I couldn't get less." That part was true. "But I just- I had to."
Kaz's brows knitted, "Had to what?" He queried.
"I had to tell them." Like that, the words hung in the air. "I had to tell them everything." The tears finally started slipping until they were streaming down your cheeks.
The moment Kaz caught sight of that, he rushed over. And just as needy as before, he engulfed your body into his own. "Hey, it's okay." He assured. "All that matters is that you're safe."
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zepp-l1n · 10 months
Text
His Anchor
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader
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summary: sometimes Kaz needs a comforting presence. fic type - angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship warning - Kaz's haphephobia and trauma :(, also a little ooc Kaz at the end?? word count - 1,494 a/n: hiii! hope you guys enjoy!
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It wasn't unusual for Kaz to get overwhelmed and slip into one of his episodes. Too much time spent in interactions, physical or not, would cause him to feel the water rise up his spine and start to consume him. In the past during times like these, Kaz would run off and lock himself into his room. No one was to come in, and no one was to go out. Now things were different. Now he had (Y/N).
The girl had become apart of his team of Crows early on, but it wasn't until a little while ago that the two crossed into a relationship status past friends (one that Kaz refused to call "lovers" due to his hatred for visible weaknesses). Since they had reached this point, the two had been working on trying to break down Kaz's walls. Understandably, the couple had been taking it slow, and didn't try to go to far out of Kaz's comfort zone.
So far, they had managed to make some progress. The first step had been hand holding in short time frames - which was okay, with or without gloves.
Next had been opening up about Kaz's childhood. (Y/N) still didn't know much, due to the fact that she didn't want to push him to far to fast, but it was enough for her to understand where he was coming from. Now, when he had the episodes, she was right there with him - staying far enough away so to not make it worse, but close enough that he wouldn't have to go through it alone. She was now his savior, pulling him back to shore when the waters threatened to drown him. And he needed that safety, especially in moments like these.
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Kaz was crouched in the corner of his room. His goal had been to huddle up on his bed where he would be more comfortable, but the waves had become to much for him to go any farther. All he could see was Jordie. All he could see was Jordie. There was no escaping him. He could feel the cold hands of Jordie and the others gripping at his body.
Kaz had been alone in his study when the attack hit him, so he didn't have far to go to hide away. Unbeknownst to him, (Y/N) had seen his shaken form enter his room. She subtly excused herself from the conversation she was having with Nina and Matthias, and calmly made her way to the room. Inside, her brain was running a mile a minuet. She knew how bad Kaz could get sometimes, and she could only hope that he was alright.
Inside the room, the boy had curled into himself farther, trying to get any slight piece of relief. He was too far into his own head that he didn't notice (Y/N)'s knock on his door, nor did he notice her enter the room.
"Kaz?" she quietly called out. Her gaze drifted to the boy on the ground - the boy she had grown to truly care about. She could tell he was hyperventilating, a common occurrence during these episodes, but his breathing was far more erratic than usual. "Kaz, sweetheart?" (Y/N) closed in on the boy, arms cautiously open and outstretched. Kaz still didn't notice her. Once more, she stepped towards him. "Kaz, I need you to listen to me, okay?"
His gloved hands were painfully clasped around his shoulders. He couldn't take in anything other than the water and Jordie. Nothing else seemed to be real.
(Y/N)'s hands reached for Kaz's. She didn't know what she was planning on doing, but she knew that she needed to bring him out of the episode fast, for his sanity and hers. "I'm here Kaz." she mumbled, soft hands winding around the leather she had become happily accustomed to. "You're safe. You're here with me." Her words and movements were gradually becoming more frantic. While keeping one hand on his, she brought the other back to herself for a moment. She knew that holding him anywhere else was way past the boundaries they had broken, and although it could possibly help, she wasn't sure if it would make things off between them afterwards.
A broken gasp brought (Y/N)'s attention back to the boy in front of her. Kaz's chest was rapidly heaving, trying to take in unnecessary amounts of air. His already shaking body seemed to increase in speed. She needed to do something, and fast.
(Y/N) knew that even the slightest bit of cold flesh may send him farther into his episode, so she quickly pulled both hands away and started rubbing them together to get some friction. Once they were as warm as she could get them, (Y/N) placed her hands onto his body - the left cradling his neck, and the right caressing his face. She pulled his body tight against hers, resting his head on her clothed chest. From this angle he would be able to hear her madly-paced heartbeat. "Kaz, darling, please." she loudly begged.
In Kaz's head, and behind Jordie's angry yells, he started to hear a steady 'thump'. Warmth enveloped his face and neck, pushing away some of the violent waves.
Soft cries started to leave the girls mouth. She couldn't help the frustrated and scared tears misting over her eyes, or the overly panicked thoughts rushing through her head.
Kaz could feel the waves dying down, but he still couldn't get away from the cold and damp feeling of the death he experienced. The thumping was still a steady tune, pulsing through the back of his conscience. He knew something or someone was there, but he couldn't get away.
"I'm here." her choked words returned to their former softness, but still repeated rapidly, as if speaking them over and over would bring him out of his trance. "Please..."
The thumping grew louder, and faster in pace. Whatever it was, Kaz was sure would burst in minuets. It echoed in his mind, blocking out Jordie's yells - blocking out the smell of sea water and the feeling of water filling his lungs. Then came the call of a soft a familiar voice - one that he could recognize and point out within all of the crowds in Ketterdam. (Y/N). The dark haze started to clear from his mind, letting him take in the sight of the girl holding him.
For a moment everything stopped. It was as if Kaz was someone else - as if he hadn't lost Jordie, or been dumped with the other bodies, or as if he could freely touch anything and anyone he wanted. He felt the soft skin pressing on his neck and face, and subconsciously leaned into it. Fresh tears streamed from his eyes, coming into contact with the soft skin he now adored, and he couldn't help but let out matching whimpers and cries of his own.
A soft gasp sounded from about him, "Kaz!" He could feel the girl start to pull away, the feeling of her warmth leaving his cold body, and he swiftly pulled her back.
"Stay." his broken voice whispered. "I'm sorry." Her heartbeat rang in his ears, proving to him that she was real, not some body he was forcefully sat beside.
"Don't be," she hoarsely muttered. "You have nothing to apologize for. Not to me." Her right hand ran over the rough skin of his cheek, brushing against the small scars that littered the area.
"I do." his voice vibrated against her shoulder. "You shouldn't have to deal with this."
(Y/N) pulled his face away from her, and used her hands to force his stare back in her direction. "Kaz Brekker, don't start with that. I am here - to help, to hold, to get you through the unnecessary suffering. I will be here every step of the way." Her voice never raised above a whisper.
"But-" he started, but (Y/N) cut him off.
"No. I will be here. I will be your tether back to reality, whenever I am needed. I will bring you back to me - back to the crows - back to yourself. We will get through this. One day, things will get better. One day, I will have you, without your armor. But until then, I will be with you every step of the way." (Y/N)'s eyes pierced into his own throughout her entire speech. Her words and look were enough to render Kaz, for the first time, speechless.
Kaz leaned forward, securing himself back into her arms. He didn't know how much longer this moment would last, or how much longer he'd be able to hold her without feeling the need to throw up, but he knew she would wait as long as it took for him to be free of his fears and hold her like this always. He knew that he had her. he finally had his anchor, and he wasn't letting it go.
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sharksnshakes · 9 months
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Killers' Big Spoon vs. Little Spoon! HCs
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Everybody has a soft spot. Even killers in the fog... right?
AN; still very conflicted over some of 'em but fuck it we ball. monstercuddlers, your time is now
TW; none i can think of
Big spoon
CALEB QUINN, Frank Morrison, Ji-Woon Hak, Albert Wesker, Herman Carter, Pinhead
Little spoon
Philip Ojomo, Max Thompson Jr.
Both
EVAN MACMILLAN, JOEY, Pyramid Head, Danny Johnson, Kazan Yamaoka
Would never be caught dead cuddling with anybody (or so they say)
ALBERT WESKER, Danny Johnson, Kazan Yamaoka, Evan MacMillan
...What do spoons have to do with cuddling?
Freddy Kreuger, Michael Myers, Pinhead, Max Thompson Jr.
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minasvalentine · 1 year
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SOMETHING‘S PURRING OH LORD
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bi-bard · 1 year
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No Saints Ever Watched Over Me - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]
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Title: No Saints Ever Watched Over Me
Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Sun Summoner!Reader
Word Count: 1,798 words
Warning(s): canon-typical violence
Summary: Kaz held onto the belief that no saints had looked out for him and none were in a rush to rescue him. When forced to face the very saint that he refused to believe in, will Kaz accept that he was wrong or continue on his path of denial and avoidance?
Author's Note: Here's how one piece of dialogue made me want to throw all sorts of canon to the wolves just so this idea could happen.
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At some point, hiding became as natural as breathing.
My parents taught me to hide before most things.
They were the only ones who knew about my... condition that I hadn't directly told.
They had seen the sunlight that coursed through my veins. The prophecy unfolding in their very home. The future presented to them on a silver platter.
They knew what would happen if I was ever discovered. They never wanted me to hear, but I did. They knew that I would be hunted for the rest of my life. That I would be shoved into harm's way in the name of Ravka. Men would be happy to watch my blood spill for their battles if they were wrapped in the flag of their country.
I was young when a group of men showed up at their door.
My dad took me away. As far away as he could. My mom didn't have a chance.
When he knew that what was happening was inevitable, he told me to run. Run, hide, and never tell anyone about my gift.
I was alone.
I never saw my power as a gift. Especially not after that day. In one swoop, this "gift" had taken everything from me.
And I still had to survive despite that.
I settled in Ketterdam. Alone and terrified. I needed to find work and a place to stay while I was still very young.
Working with Kaz Brekker was an accident more than anything else. It had been a few years since I had seemed to plant my feet on the ground. I had made friends with Jesper, who had offered me a chance to make myself a decent amount of money.
After that, Kaz seemed to come to me for every mission they had. I don't know why. As far as he was able to know, Kaz could have found a hundred people who were just like me.
Granted, I didn't have to keep working with him. I could have taken another job. But I didn't. Working with Kaz just felt right. Working with the Crows felt right.
I was a regular part of the team.
It was nice.
None of them seemed willing to say it out loud but it was like having a family. A real family for the first time in ages.
I kept my... situation private. They didn't truly need to know.
However, I knew that it would be foolish to think that I could hide it from them forever. It did take them longer than
Inej was the first to find out.
Kaz had noticed that something was "off" about me. Something was different. He couldn't figure out what that thing was. And Kaz Brekker hated not knowing everything about a situation.
He sent her to spy on me for the night. Follow me. See who I did business with, who I met for drinks, who I brought home with me (which I never did).
I had been curled at the foot of my bed after a long, exhausting day. I was tired and sad and angry all at the same time. I needed something of comfort. I allowed a ball of sunlight to form in my hand and sit in my palm. The fog and dreariness of Ketterdam didn't allow for one to enjoy a moment in the sunshine, so I had to make my own.
Inej must have caught me just as I was sitting there with it.
Not that she told me.
Instead, she went straight back to Kaz with what she had learned.
I could imagine what his reaction was. The disbelief, the anger at the insistence, and the dismissal of the whole event with some comment about it all being some clever trick on my part.
I hope she asked him what the point of a trick was when I was alone.
I only found out that Inej knew when I was told to go meet Kaz in his office. As I passed the bar, Inej and Jesper watched me go by. I watched Inej's hand move to her forehead and chest. I furrowed my eyebrows for a moment. I hadn't told her anything, so why did she do that?
Kaz was standing behind his desk when I walked in.
"Close the door," he instructed bluntly. I did so.
I walked over to stand across from him, waiting for some indication of what this was all about.
"What are you," he asked.
I paused for a moment. "Excuse me?"
"What are you?" he repeated, putting an emphasis on each word.
"I'm (Y/n), you allow me to work with you because I can fight, and you said that I can be pretty clever-"
"I said what, not who."
"Will you just tell me what this is about," I asked. "I clearly don't know."
"I had Inej follow you last night."
"Kaz!"
"You were hiding something from me," he tried to explain.
"So you sent someone to watch me? That is incredibly invasive!"
"She saw your trick," he continued. "The sunlight in your hand."
I felt frozen. The motion at the bar suddenly made sense to me. Inej was firm in her beliefs. Private, but firm. She saw me and thought that I was the saint that the stories were about.
"How did you do it?"
"I... I just can," I shrugged. "You think it was a trick."
"I know it was a trick," he replied. "The sun summoner wouldn't hide away in Ketterdam."
I took a deep breath. "My parents paid for me to get here. They knew what I was. They knew what would happen if the Grisha got their hands on me. It was meant to protect me. I kept my head down. I stayed quiet. Worked with you for money because it was the safest choice I had at the time."
Kaz didn't speak up. He didn't truly believe me. Not entirely. I wasn't surprised by that. Kaz had trust issues when it came to normal people. Never mind... someone like me.
I took a step away from the desk. I let a ball of sunlight form in my hand.
Kaz slowly walked around the desk. He studied me, stepping in a small circle around me. He was looking for the trick. The effect. Some sign that what Inej had seen was wrong.
He stopped in front of his desk again.
I closed my hand, scuffing out the sunlight.
"You are never to do that unless in the presence of me, Inej, and Jesper. Understood?"
"I know how to hide," I replied. "I've been doing this for a long time now."
He just nodded to me.
I kept to that agreement as best I could. I never showed my gift outside of my room. The only time anyone else saw it was when Inej came by, begging to know if it was all true.
She tried to praise me. Call me a saint.
I didn't let her. I begged her to not see me as a hero because I wasn't one. I had no interest in being one. All I wanted was some semblance of normalcy. She respected that.
My agreement with Kaz didn't crumble until I saw it as absolutely necessary.
He had told me to join him to get through the door of some place.
He had been doing that more and more. Having me work directly by his side. I had no interest in questioning it, but I did notice it.
It had been going well. However, the number of guards had been greatly underestimated.
The only part that I truly remember was one of the guards choking Kaz. His cane had been thrown across the room from him. I didn't have the physical strength to stop the guard. I knew that.
So, as if on instinct, I threw a ball of sunlight at him.
He fell to the ground, allowing Kaz to lean back against the wall and catch his breath.
I ran over to grab his cane. I walked over slowly, holding it out to him. He snatched it from my hand, an angry look taking over his features.
"Are you alright," I asked.
He didn't bother with my question, instead posing one of his own, “What the hell were you thinking?”
“That you were about to die."
“You could have gotten yourself killed, hunted! All that you have claimed to have been terrified of!”
"You would truly rather die by the hand of your own stubbornness than ever thank someone for their help," I rolled my eyes.
"You agreed to never use your powers around others! I don't need you to save me!"
I scoffed at him. “Kaz, I understand that you think you’re invincible, but please believe me when I say that you are nowhere close.”
“And you are?” he stepped closer to me.
“Would you like to compare a list of things that I could survive versus what you could survive? I really don’t think you would because you would end up quite embarrassed!”
Kaz’s jaw clenched as he merely continued glaring. As if he were stunned that I had the nerve to yell at him the way I did. To question his power and control and leadership the way I did.
“I hate to tell you this, but you have people who care for you, Kaz Brekker,” I continued. “There are people that actually don’t want you dead. Let them help you. That’s why you have a crew in the first place.”
"Don't claim to be my savior."
"Don't claim that you never need to be saved!"
The silence after that was tense. He was angry and the boss of the whole gang. I was angry and able to scorch the earth beneath his feet.
"We have work to do," I finally muttered, walking around him.
"What happened to keeping your... affliction a secret," he asked as I did so.
I stopped at the door, turning back to him. "If the choice was letting you die or exposing my secret, then the choice would be you. Every single time."
There was a long pause before Kaz spoke up, "Why?"
There was another, even longer pause. "Is it not obvious?"
His face didn't shift. Not at all.
I had some feeling in my chest that he knew the answer to his question long before he asked it. Maybe he just needed the personal confirmation. Maybe he wanted me to say something entirely different so that it would bring some comfort. Allow him some escape route from his own feelings.
"Can we go now," I asked.
He nodded. "Fine."
Kaz may not have believed in saints. But I would like to believe that some part of him believed in me.
And that was enough for me.
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Navigation Guide
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kazscrows · 1 year
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Inej✨
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jahayla-parker · 4 months
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New Chapter : Freddy Carter x Reader
Description: 4.2k wc, Freddy and his wife welcome their newborn into their lives. Can be read as a stand-alone or as a part two to Pregnant Pause. Fluff, family.
Warnings: pregnancy and newborns and related topics including by not limited to: pregnancy, labor, blood, discharge, accidents, changing diapers, breastfeeding, hospitals, etc.
This is a Ko-Fi request from @missdreamofendless 💜 thank you so much darling for your support! 🤗
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“How are ya feeling, love?” Freddy asked as he checked in with his wife for the millionth time. He hadn’t left y/n’s side since they arrived at the hospital, but he was still worried he would miss a sign that she needed him to do something for her. She’d just given birth to their newborn baby and Freddy wanted to make sure she was okay. “You did so great, my darling,” Freddy praised when y/n gave him a tired smile and a weak thumbs up in response to his question. He leaned over and pressed his lips to her still clammy forehead.
“Aren’t they just the cutest?” Y/n mused tiredly as she gazed at the clear roller bin coated with a fuzzy blanket the hospital had their newborn resting in. Her mind and body were exhausted beyond belief. But she hadn’t ever been happier than this moment, here with her husband and their newborn.
“Just like their mum,” Freddy agreed, squeezing y/n’s hand as he admired their baby. “You’re seriously so amazing,” he whispered lovingly as he turned back to his wife. He caught sight of the bashful expression she had after his earlier compliment, grinning as he watched it increase with his latest one. He was so amazed by her, especially after today. “You can sleep darling, I’ll watch over you two,” he promised as y/n tried to stay awake.
Y/n hummed softly and shook her head. “You need to rest too,” she whispered. She sat up, despite Freddy’s protests, and leaned forward until she could gently roll the baby bin towards them. Once she stationed it between them, up by her head, she smiled down at their newborn. “There,” she said, looking up at her husband. “Now, you can sleep too,” she offered.
Freddy grinned and kissed the back of y/n’s hand.
“Oh, let me slide over so you can use the bed too,” y/n suggested. But before she could move, Freddy’s hands clamped carefully over her forearms as he restricted her movements.
Freddy shook his head. “I’m fine where I am,” he promised. “You need to let your body heal, darling, you’ve been through a lot,” he reminded her softly.
Y/n gave him a tired smile, clearly not in a state to argue. “If you’re sure,” she mumbled as her eyes became heavier. Once she saw Freddy was seated back on the cushioned window bench beside her, she fully let herself rest against the pillow behind her head. “But, when we get home, I intend to sleep beside my husband,” she said lovingly.
Freddy smiled and squeezed y/n’s hand. “Of course. Anything you want, darling,” he promised. He watched y/n closely until he was sure she’d fallen asleep. He kissed the back of her hand as he checked on their newborn. When he knew his family was safe and resting, he curled up on the bench and laid down beside them to rest.
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Y/N’s eyes flew up upon hearing her newborn’s cry. She groggily leaned up, blinking rapidly to get her vision to clear.
Freddy snapped awake upon hearing y/c/n crying. He jumped up from the bench and reached into the rolling bin crib that was beside him. He carefully lifted the baby up into his arms and rocked them slowly as he shushed them. He gave his wife a loving smile briefly upon feeling her eyes on him.
Y/n watched patiently for a few minutes as Freddy desperately tried to get y/c/n to settle down. He was doing everything right, but their newborn hadn’t stopped crying. “Honey,” y/n whispered, setting her hand on Freddy’s forearm. “I think (s)he needs me,” she explained cautiously. She could tell Freddy was a bit upset that he hadn’t succeeded in calming down their little one. Y/n could also tell he was feeling bad that he couldn’t take care of this for her.
Freddy nodded sadly and passed their baby to y/n.
Once y/c/n latched onto her, y/n laid her head back and looked up at her husband. She smiled upon seeing Freddy beaming down at her and their newborn proudly.
Freddy leaned down and pressed a long lingering kiss to Y/N’s forehead, his hand resting on the outside of her far shoulder lovingly. As his lips left her head he leaned back to take it all in, a blissful look in his eyes. “May I?” Freddy asked, grabbing his camera, “just for us”.
Y/n giggled lightly and nodded. She gazed down at their newborn as Freddy snapped some photos.
“Okay, one with you looking up, please, love,” Freddy requested. He smiled as y/n quickly complied with his request. Once he’d taken the photo of his incredible wife and precious newborn, he set the camer aside and rushed back to y/n. “Okay, sorry,” he gushed as he rubbed her shoulder as their baby continued to nurse, “I’m done”.
“You don’t have to apologize, Freddy,” y/n said with a smile as she turned her head his way.
Freddy gave her an appreciative half-smile. “You’re over here feeding our baby,” he pointed out, “after just having gone through labor for thirteen hours”. He shook his head. “Meanwhile, I’m just taking pictures,” he sighed.
“Freddy,” y/n said. She frowned upon seeing the tears in her husband’s eyes. “Stop,” she ordered, wanting to squeeze his hand but having to settle for a reassuring expression since she was cradling y/c/n as they nursed. “You were by my side the whole time, getting me everything I needed and helping me through as much as you could,” she pointed out with a smile. “You’re an amazing husband and already a wonderful father, please don’t let your tired brain make you believe otherwise.”
Freddy smiled lightly as he tried to blink away the tears in his eyes. He bent his head and kissed y/n’s chapped lips gently as he whispered a thank you. His smile grew when their baby stopped nursing and he was able see their face again. Freddy applied the hand sanitizer beside him and let it dry before putting his left pointer finger against their baby’s tiny soft hand. Y/c/n’s little fist clung onto Freddy’s finger, making both parents smile at them and then each other. Freddy used his right hand to brush some loose hair away from Y/n’s face and gave her another loving kiss. “I’d do anything for our family,” he whispered.
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Y/n gazed lovingly at y/c/n as (s)he lay in their crib, sleeping peacefully. She felt Freddy wrap his arms around her carefully, being extremely gentle with her as he knew she was sore. She practically melted back into his embrace as her eyes stayed on their newborn.
They stayed like that for several minutes, just silently admiring their baby and each other.
Freddy was the one to step away first. He placed a tender kiss to y/n’s cheek before unwrapping his arms from her waist. He moved in front of her and took hold of her hands. Freddy slowly and silently guided her towards the rocking chair in the nursery, neither one wanting to wake the baby.
Y/n watched from the padded chair as Freddy quickly made his way out of the room and back. When he returned, he had a y/f/c gift bag in his hand and a smile on his face. Y/n shook her head in disbelief. He’d already gotten so much for her and the baby since finding out she was pregnant.
“Before you say something about how I didn’t need to get you anything,” Freddy whispered teasingly. “First, don’t, because you’ll wake the baby,” he joked with a smirk. “But also, it’s your push gift,” he explained as he passed her the bag.
“Freddy,” y/n whispered, also keeping her voice low as to not wake y/c/n. “You’ve already gotten me, and us, so many gifts that could be considered push gifts, you really-“ she mumbled.
Freddy just shook his head and nodded towards the gift bag he’d set on y/n’s lap.
With a light chuckle, y/n smiled appreciatively at her husband before she opened the gift. Her smile grew ten times as her heart soared upon pulling out the first item. It was a framed heartbeat sound wave of y/c/n from the first time they had heard their baby’s heartbeat. Tears welled up in her eyes as she whispered a shaky thank you. She bit her lip as she also pulled out a beautiful photo album. Inside it were photos Freddy had taken throughout her pregnancy and from earlier earlier today in the hospital. “Sweetheart, this is beautiful,” she cooed.
“I can’t have you forgetting just how incredible you are,” Freddy said as he moved to stand beside her. “You were unbelievable today, my darling,” he said as y/n flipped through the photos from the last 24 hours. When she stared up at him with teary eyes and a prideful smile, he knew he’d chosen the right gift. “Thank you,” Freddy said, echoing his appreciation for y/n giving life to their little bundle of joy.
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“Freddy, do you know where the diaper bag went when we got home?” Y/n called out from the nursery.
Freddy rushed in with the diaper bag in hand. As he caught his breath, he placed a hand on y/N’s back. “I’ve got this, love,” he offered.
“Oh,“ y/n smiled, “you don’t have-“.
“I know,” Freddy promised as he kissed y/n’s cheek. “But you’ve done more than enough,” he stated. “Now, please, go rest,” he pleaded, “I’ve got this little one”.
Y/n smiled gratefully at her husband. She pressed her lips against his stubbly cheek for a quick kiss. “Alright snuggle bug,” she whispered to their baby. “Daddy is gonna take care of you, okay?” She cooed, making Freddy grin. She gave Freddy another appreciative kiss before heading out of the room.
“Did you change your shirt?” Y/n asked as Freddy entered the living room. She knew she was exhausted, but she could’ve sworn he was in a blue shirt when they left the hospital earlier.
Freddy blushed and nodded bashfully as he walked over towards where y/n was seated.
“Why-“ y/n began but cut herself off and laughed. “Oh,” she giggled realizing what must’ve happened when Freddy was changing y/c/n.
“I’ll get better,” Freddy promised as he sat beside y/n and took her hand in his.
Y/n calmly shook her head. “Sweetheart, I’m not worried,” she assured her husband. She quickly rested her head on his shoulder as he held her to him. “Is (s)he asleep?” She asked tiredly.
Freddy hummed a soft ‘yes’ as he pulled y/n closer. “We should get you to bed too,” he commented. When Y/n gazed up and over at him, he smiled at her. “The book says you should be sleeping when the baby is sleeping,” he explained.
Y/n grinned and pecked Freddy’s nose. “I love you so much,” she remarked.
Freddy beamed. “I love you too, my amazing superwoman,” he replied sweetly.
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“Love, it’s alright,” Freddy said trying to stop y/n from crying more. “It’s just bedding, alright?” As he removed the dirty sheets from their mattress he gazed over at his exhausted wife. “Let me go get the laundry started, and then I’ll come help you in the shower, okay?” He offered.
Freddy’s heart broke as y/n simply cried harder. He knew part of it was surely her hormones and exhaustion after everything she had gone through in the last few days. But he was still worried about her nonetheless. “Love, ‘ey, what’s wrong?” Freddy questioned, sensing there was more at play than what he was noticing so far.
“I made a mess, and we’re both tired, but now I kept us from sleeping, and it’s gross, I’m gross, and-,” y/n rambled as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Woah, woah, woah, no,” Freddy argued gently. “Love, you are not gross.” “This is extremely natural. The doctor said this could happen, it’s part of the process,” he reminded y/n. He set the bedding aside for the moment and cupped her face in his palms. “I’m terribly sorry you have to deal with this, but you’re not alone. I’ll be here with you through this as much as I can, love,” Freddy promised. “There is nothing gross about this. Besides, as far as I’m concerned, you can make as much of a mess as you want or need, you just gave birth to our child, do you realize how incredible that is? How much with your body just went through?” He gushed in admiration. “You’re not gross, and don’t worry about my sleep, darling, I promise that’s not a problem in the slightest.” “Come on,” he whispered as he helped y/n stand and lead her to their bathroom. “Can you strip out of these clothes for me while I start the wash?” He asked.
When y/n nodded slowly, Freddy smiled warmly and kissed her forehead. He rushed out of the room to start the laundry. On his way back, he peaked in the nursery to check on y/c/n before quickly making his way back to his wife.
Upon entering their bathroom, Freddy noticed the way y/n was staring at herself in the mirror. She had taken her clothes off and was now just looking at her reflection with a deep frown on her face. Freddy shook his head to himself in disbelief before he walked over to her. “You look beautiful,” he commented casually.
Y/n shook her head. “Freddy-,” she began to argue.
“Yes, you do,” Freddy defended. “I’m still so amazed and appreciative of what you just went through,” he admitted. “And yet, you still look radiant after all of that. I’ll never understand how you do that.”
“Love,” Freddy sighed upon seeing y/N’s tears. He cautiously held her to him, rubbing her back slowly as she tried to calm down. When y/n stopped crying he could see her eyes were once again soft, he smiled down at her. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and back to bed.”
Freddy helped comb through the knots in y/n’s hair that had likely formed during her lengthy labor. He lovingly massaged her shoulders and muscles as he went about cleaning her up after the bleeding incident she’d had in their bed. He had always been careful with her; as if she were glass. But tonight he was extremely cautious around her hips/pelvis, only faintly even touching her just enough to get any blood off. Once y/n was cleaned up, Freddy helped her out of the shower and dried them both off. He led her over to the toilet for her to sit on while he dried her hair. But when y/n winced as she sat, Freddy quickly realized the hard surface was a bad choice. “Shit, one moment, love,” he said as he helped her back up. He rushed out of the room, only returning once he had her hospital bag. He helped y/n step into her postpartum underwear. He then set the folded up blanket on top of the toilet seat lid for a better cushioned seat. Freddy was pleased when y/n sat back down without as much pain showing in her eyes. He quickly blow dried her hair before putting it up for her. Freddy helped her off the toilet seat and back to their bedroom. He guided her as she slowly get into bed, each movement clearly hurting her. “I’m going to get your meds,” he said; hating setting her in such pain.
Just as Freddy had reached the doorway to their bedroom, the baby monitor went off with the sound of y/c/N’s crying. Freddy knowingly whipped his head around to look at his wife. “No,” he said, stopping her as she tried to sit back up in order to get out of bed. “I’ve got it!” He rushed out, slightly panicking. “Just rest, please,” he begged as he darted out of the door.
Freddy sprinted into the nursery and scooped their newborn baby up into his arms. He rocked the baby as he walked to the kitchen to grab y/n’s meds. He knew the prescription was not super strong, as the doctor said there was only so much y/n could take while breastfeeding. But, Freddy still hoped it would take the edge off and help her sleep. He very carefully held the baby to him with one arm as he picked up the pills and put them in his pocket before cradling the newborn in both of his arms again. The baby finally stopped its crying as Freddy whispered lovingly to it as he walked back to the main bedroom.
Freddy smiled at his wife as she watched him enter with their child. “Figured you might want to say goodnight,” he smiled, kneeling down beside y/n with their baby in his arms.
Y/n grinned and reached out to take the newborn. She held them to her chest as she sleepily gazed down at them. “Goodnight my little angel,” she cooed. As her eyes began to get heavier, she looked over at Freddy who seemed to have already noticed.
Freddy smiled and kissed y/n’s forehead as he took their baby back into his arms. “Pills are in here,” he informed Y/n as he turned his hip to her; the bottle of medication visible in his pocket.
Y/n smiled appreciatively and pulled the bottle out of Freddy’s pocket.
“I’ll be back with some water, don’t move,” Freddy said as he walked to their door.
After placing the baby back in the crib, Freddy hurried to the kitchen again to grab a water bottle. He filled it and made his way back to the bedroom. Upon entering, he quickly passed it to Y/n to have her take the pain medicine. He bent down and kissed her forehead before he went to his side to get into the freshly made bed. He scooted over and snuggled up to her, carefully holding her.
When y/n noticed Freddy’s resistant and worried touch, she leaned into him. “Thank you,” she whispered. Sensing his confusion, she continued. “You were absolutely incredible today, I’m really glad I had you,” y/n told him.
Freddy kissed y/n’s head. “Ditto, my love,” he whispered. He turned and ensured that the baby monitor was on before facing his wife again. “Rest my dear,” he advised, smiling as she willingly closed her eyes.
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“Don’t you dare,” Freddy scolded as he walked into the living room and noticed Y/n was about to vacuum.
“It has to be done, we have people coming over in-“ y/n argued.
“I know,” Freddy nodded, walking over to y/n. “But, I’m doing it, you’re resting,” he said as he took the handle of the vacuum from her.
“Freddy!” Y/n exclaimed with a sigh.
Freddy simply shook his head. “No”. He leaned forward and kissed y/n’s nose. “You should know by now, I’m not going to lose these arguments,” he grinned.
Y/n shook her head back at her stubborn and protective husband. “That was when I was pregnant,” she reminded Freddy. “The baby is fine, me doing chores isn’t going to risk hurt them,” she promised warmly.
“No,” Freddy agreed as he plugged in the vacuum cleaner. “But, it will risk hurting you,” he argued, glancing up at his wife. When y/n sighed, Freddy moved closer to her. “You didn’t truly think my worry when you were pregnant was only about y/c/n’s well-being, did you?” Freddy shook his head in response to his rhetorical question. “I was always worried about you too, my love.”
Y/n closed the space between her and her husband. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his embrace as he held her. “I love you, Freddy,” she whispered against his chest.
“I love you, darling,” Freddy replied tenderly. “Now please, go sit your sweet little arse on the couch, before I have to carry you,” he scolded playfully.
Y/n giggled loudly and shook her head. “I’ll secede to not vacuuming, but I’m going to go check on y/c/n since the sound will likely wake them up,” she argued. “Plus, I want to change them into that insanely cute bear onesie you bought!”
Freddy chuckled happily as he smiled at the excited state of his wife. He nodded in acceptance, “deal”.
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“Freddy!” Y/n squealed, coming out of the nursery, holding y/c/n in her arms. The hood on the bear onesie was resting just about their baby’s eyes. Y/n was smiling widely as she showed her husband how cute their child was.
Freddy smiled back and quickly took his phone out to snap a photo before asking y/n to wait so he could get his good camera. With his camera in hand, he ushed back and snapped a ton of photos; some of y/n and y/c/n, some of him and y/c/n, and then some of both of them and y/c/n.
Presently, the new parents had settled y/c/n on one of their blankets on the couch in order to get some photos of just y/c/n. Y/n was gently playing with y/c/n the whole time as Freddy took the photos of their newborn. As such, they did not hear nor see Freddy’s family enter until they were done with the impromptu newborn photoshoot.
Y/n softly rubbed y/c/n’s tiny little nose as Freddy put his camera’s lens cap back on. She smiled to herself as she looked up to see her husband. Only, she caught sight of a group of people behind him. Before she could even process the fact that she knew these people, she had leapt you from the floor and had y/c/n securely in her arms.
Freddy noticed his wife’s fear and instinctually threw himself in front of his wife and their baby. Once he realized that it was their family, he settled and slowly moved to the side. “Did you forget how to knock?” He teased; slightly.
“We did, honey,” Freddy’s mother teased. She slowly made her way over to the couple and gave her son a hug.
“We worried something happened to you lot when no one answered,” Freddy’s oldest brother, Tom, laughed.
Y/n smiled as she watched Freddy’s side of the family embrace and congratulate him. As they turned to her, so too did her husband.
“Not until you use some hand sanitizer,” Freddy ordered his family as he lifted up a new bottle from the table.
Freddy’s family smiled at his protectiveness and complied with his orders before they made their way to y/n and the baby. They all took turns holding the baby, the others talking to y/n and/or Freddy as they waited for their turn to greet the newborn.
Freddy had been watching his wife closely the whole time and realized she was feeling a bit emotional still and overwhelmed. So, he lead her to the couch, making the others follow. “Your mum should be over any minute,” he explained, having been the one to arrange the timing for everyone’s schedules.
Y/n nodded and leaned against her husband as she kept an eye on their newborn.
Freddy noticed y/N’s behavior and kissed the side of her head before resuming doing the same thing himself.
Both sides of the newborn’s family had hung around for quite awhile, even throughout the countless breastfeedings and diaper changes. It wasn’t too late in the traditional sense, barely having hit 5pm, but Freddy was exhausted and he knew his wife was too. So, he kindly asked everyone to leave so the couple could have some alone time with their little one before bed.
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“There are just so many cute onesies!” Y/n gushed as she flipped through the collection of baby clothes in y/c/n’s nursery. “Not that (s)he’s not cute enough on their own!” Y/n added quickly.
Freddy chuckled and wrapped his arms around y/N’s waist, placing his head on her shoulder. “I think (s)he should wear the frog one today,” he suggested, eyeing the fuzzy green outfit.
Y/n hummed and picked up the onesie Freddy had requested, setting it to the side. “Frogs it is!” She grinned. She spun around and smiled as she moved in to kiss her husband. “Time to get this little one dressed!” She said walking to the crib.
“Can I?” Freddy asked quietly as he watched his wife approach y/c/n’s crib with the onesie in hand.
Y/n turned to Freddy, her confusion evident on her face. “What?”
“Can I dress them?” Freddy asked with a bite of his bottom lip.
“Of course, handsome!” Y/n reassured. She walked over and cupped Freddy’s cheeks. “Why do you feel you had to ask?” She wondered.
Freddy shrugged with a light laugh. “Sorry, it’s just all so new,” he explained.
Y/n smiled widely and nodded. “In a good way though, right?” She checked.
Freddy vigorously nodded. “Yes,” he promised quickly. “I love this new chapter of our lives,” He grinned.
Y/n hummed in agreement and passed Freddy the frog onesie. “So do I,” she agreed. She watched from the side in bliss as her husband gleefully and cautiously dressed y/c/n inside the crib. “They’re going to adore the frog onesie,” y/n complimented, “great choice, love”. She smiled to herself as she thought about how their friends would react when they came over in an hour to meet y/c/n and were greeted by an adorable little 3 week old baby in a green frog onesie.
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lilithh6 · 1 year
Text
OKAY BUT PICTURE THIS!!!!
soc spin-off, right? We get through the whole ice court heist, we’re on our way back to ketterdam. In the book, now is when we get the “I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.” But we’ve already gotten that scene in the show. Inej is already off on her own journey, and she’s had to come back for the heist. But the point is she (and most likely Kaz as well) have gotten through more character development compared to the books.
Which means that THAT scene will have to be replaced with something BIGGER, a step further into their relationship. I can’t even begin to think what it could be like (no gloves??), but I know it will definitely have me screaming.
But do you know what that means as well? The scene of Van Eck noticing Inej as Kaz’s tell and kidnapping her (which happens right after this) will have ANOTHER whole new level of ANGST, and I’m not sure I can handle it.
I’m going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I’m going to get my girl.
I’m screaming, I can’t wait.
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pinchofhoney · 1 year
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You know I can't stay away from your writing for long so here I am againnn....angst prompt 5 and fluff promt 10. Besties to loverss plsssss.....with either Sirius Black or Kaz I can't choose
No angst...I can't take it rnnnn 😭
take a hint # 200 followers special event
» prompt event » special events masterlist
angst prompt five: “please leave before i lose myself to madness and beg you to stay”
fluff prompt ten: and it was when A watched B look at someone else the way they wanted to be looked at. does A realize how much in love with their best friend they were?
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gif is not mine, credit to the owner
kaz brekker x fem!reader
word count: 3.8k
warning: kaz has no romantic feelings for inej in this one, it doesn't have a specific time in the canon, i made up one of the characters, best friends to lovers (between the lines), mention of murder
summary: It seems that Kaz always expects you to read between the lines, even though you are a thief and not an expert in interpreting written texts.
a/n: whenever i see notifications from you, i feel like a happy golden retriever puppy, hello!!<33 i feel that writing anything with sirius would be easier for me in almost every way, especially since that character has been my favorite since childhood, but i wanted to try something new and i was thrilled with the chance to do so! (it's a mess)
pages that may interest you: masterlist ♡ taglist ♡ who i write for
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As you stepped out into the gloomy, rain-soaked streets of Ketterdam, you could felt the weight of the city's bearing down upon you. It was a place where danger lurked around every corner, where crime and corruption were the norm, and where only the strongest and most cunning survived. The city's winding, labyrinthine streets were treacherous and difficult to navigate, with slimy cobblestones that seemed to shift and writhe beneath your feet. The stench of sewage and decay hanged heavy in the air, a reminder of the filth and squalor that permeated every inch of the city.
The people of Ketterdam were a rough and ragged bunch, with sharp tongues and even sharper knives. Every interaction was a potential threat, every stranger a possible enemy. It was a place where trust was hard to come by, and betrayal was always just a heartbeat away. And yet, despite all of this, you couldn't help but feel drawn to the city. It was the only place where you've ever felt truly at home, where you could be yourself without fear of judgment or rejection. It was a feeling that both comforted and terrified you, and you knew that you'll never be able to escape it, no matter how hard you try.
You hated Ketterdam with a passion, yet you found yourself unable to imagine living anywhere else. Maybe it was because you hated yourself too, the mere thought of being ordinary filled you with a deep-seated loathing. You had no talents, no skills that could make others look at you with admiration, and to make matters worse, you weren't your parents' favorite child either. That distinction belonged to your older sister, the Grisha who had always been showered with adoration and affection, even when she was away in the Little Palace, thousands of miles from home.
Your parents had always compared you to her, highlighting your shortcomings and making you feel like a disappointment. Even when she was gone, they treated you worse than they ever had before, as if you brought them shame just by existing.
Yet, in Ketterdam, your ordinariness was a blessing. As a member of a gang of thieves, you were the perfect fit. Your lack of beauty and grace made you unremarkable, allowing you to blend into the shadows and avoid attention. You moved with ease through the convoluted streets of the city, navigating its twists and turns, always keeping your wits about you. Of course, there were a times of doubts, where you couldn't help but think that perhaps being strikingly beautiful would be an asset to your profession, especially when robbing wealthy merchants who came to Ketterdam seeking to indulge in its illicit pleasures. But even then, you knew that such a gift would come with its own set of complications, and in Ketterdam, complications were the last thing you needed.
You pulled the hood of your dark cloak over your head, lowering it slightly to obscure your face. You didn't want to be recognized by anyone, but at the same time, you needed to keep an eye on your surroundings and react quickly if needed.
You hastily tucked your frozen hands into the pockets of your coat and quickened your step as you saw two men who were part of the Dime Lions. Your heart skipped a beat as you recognized them. Lately, you had been avoiding these people more than usual, ever since you got into an unnecessary street fight with several members of the gang. They had made it clear that they weren't happy with you, and you knew that they wouldn't hesitate to attack you if given the chance.
But it wasn't just the Dime Lions that you were avoiding. Some people in Ketterdam knew about things they shouldn’t. It was no secret that rumors spread like wildfire in this city, and often found their way into the hands of those who would use them for their own gain. But in a world full of terrible people, you had to be worse.
You walked with no clear destination in mind, driven by the need to distance yourself as much as possible from the Crow Club. It was only moments ago that you had found yourself in a heated argument with the one person who mattered the most to you. His stubborn pride had come between you once again, making you curse his name to the heavens above.
The tension in the hallway was thick enough to cut with a knife as you and Kaz stood facing each other, both seething with frustration. His eyes glinted in the dim light, anger etched deep into the lines of his face. What had started as a minor disagreement had quickly escalated into a full-blown argument, fueled by the unspoken feelings that both tried to hide.
“You don't understand, Y/N,” Kaz growled, his voice low and scratchy. “You never do. You're always off on your own, thinking you know what's best for everyone. You can't keep taking unnecessary risks. It's not just your life on the line.”
“I know that,” you snapped back, your eyes flashing with anger. “But we can’t just sit back and do nothing. We need to take action if we want to survive.”
“Of course we need to take action,” Kaz shot back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I'm not saying we should do nothing. But we need to be smart about it. We can't rush in blindly. That's why I'm in charge. I know what I'm doing.”
You rolled your eyes, exasperated. “Sometimes being smart means taking risks. That's how we get ahead.”
A heavy silence hung in the air between you, filled only by the sound of your breathing and the rustle of your clothes. Kaz's gaze bore into you with an intensity that made your skin crawl.
His jaw tightened, and he spoke through gritted teeth. “Fine,” he said, his voice icy. “Do whatever you want. But don't expect me to follow you blindly into danger.”
You took a step closer to Kaz, your eyes blazing. “I don't need you to follow me, Kaz. I can take care of myself.”
His eyes narrowed, and he took a step back, his hand on his cane for support. “Then go ahead and do that. But please, leave before I lose myself to madness and beg you to stay.”
Your chest tightened with hope as Kaz's words registered in your mind. Could it be that he actually wanted you to stay? But your hopes were dashed as you saw him turn his back and begin walking away. The urge to call out to him, to make him admit his feelings, consumed you, but you knew it was pointless. Kaz Brekker was not one to bare his soul.
With a frustrated growl, you clenched your fists so tightly that your nails dug painfully into your palms. Without another word, you turned and stormed down the stairs. Ignoring Jesper's questioning gaze and Wylan's confused expression, you burst out into the rain-soaked streets of the Barrel, letting the cool droplets wash away your anger and frustration.
Your mind was a chaotic mess of emotions as you walked, all directed towards the one man who had the power to make you feel so much. Kaz's words echoed in your head, spoken in his rough voice, which usually sounded like the most beautiful melody to your ears, but now it was a curse that tormented you and did not allow you to find peace.
“I don't need you, Kaz. You're the last person I want,” you muttered under your breath, and as if fate was playing a game, you bumped into the very person with whom the whole argument began. What a coincidence.
You lifted your gaze, and your eyes met with the one who infamously called himself Ketterdam's most dangerous person. Although he didn't know you, you were familiar with him well enough to know that he would want to have you with him despite your undistinguished appearance and lack of special skills.
In a rush of panic, you lowered your head, feigning humility to mask your face. “I apologize, sir,” you began, trying to hide the hint of fear you could sense in your voice. “I should be more careful.”
The man smirked, his eyes scanning over your form. “It's no problem, sweetheart,” he said, his voice oozing with arrogance and entitlement. “But you should watch where you're going. It's not safe to be wandering around these parts alone.” His hand brushed against your arm, sending shivers down your spine.
You flinched at the touch, trying to pull away from him, but then he grabbed you. You knew what type of man he was, and the last thing you wanted was to be alone with him in a dark alley. You tried to think of an excuse to leave, but before you could say anything, the gravelly rasp of a familiar voice interrupted.
“Is there a problem here, gentlemen?” Kaz's voice was calm and controlled, but there was an underlying threat that made the man release his grip on you and take a step back.
“None at all,” the man replied smoothly.
Kaz stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. “I suggest you leave the lady alone then.”
The man scoffed. “I suggest you mind your own business, boy.”
Kaz's hand, covered with a leather glove, tightened on the crow's head ornamenting his cane. “I'll make it my business if I see someone harassing a woman in my city.”
The man sneered, clearly not intimidated by Kaz's threat. “Your city?” he asked with a hint of derision, studying Kaz more thoughtfully. Suddenly, as if he had just connected the dots, he added, “Last time I checked, it was still called Ketterdam, not Dirtyhands's kingdom.”
Kaz's expression didn't change, but you could sense the tension in the air. “Believe what you want, but if you don't leave now, I'll make sure you regret it.”
The man seemed to consider his options for a moment before finally releasing a grunt of annoyance and walking away, oblivious to the inevitable fate that awaited him regardless of his decision. Death was the only possible outcome and the only variable was who would carry out the execution.
Finally, the man was out of sight, and you released a breath you didn't even realize you were holding. Kaz turned to you, and you met his gaze with a mixture of gratitude and anger. Despite feeling indebted to him for his intervention, you couldn't help but feel frustrated by his interference. “I didn't need your help,” you said, trying to sound confident.
Kaz raised an eyebrow. “It sure looked like you did.”
You glared at him, feeling embarrassed and exposed. He had seen you in a moment of vulnerability, and you hated yourself for it. “I could have handled it,” you insisted, although you knew it was a lie. You couldn't have handled the situation on your own. You were a skilled thief, but you lacked the physical strength to overpower a man twice your size. You were not armed with revolvers, nor did you possess the abilities of a Corpsewitch. You were just an average person, with quick fingers and the ability to pick locks, nothing more.
“How did you know where to find me?” you added.
“Did you think I wouldn't follow you? I had a feeling you'd get yourself into trouble, but I didn't expect it to happen so soon.”
You rolled your eyes, but a small part of you was grateful that Kaz had your back. “And what about-”
“Inej will take care of him,” he said, cutting you off, signaling that he didn't want to discuss the matter any further. “Let's head back to the Slat. You're soaked.”
Kaz started walking away, disappearing into a dark alley without waiting for you. You sighed and followed him, feeling the dampness of your clothes sticking to your skin.
The walk back to the Slat was silent, with only the sound of raindrops hitting the cobblestones to fill the air. As you entered the place, you immediately noticed the curious looks of your crewmates. Jesper was there, even though he usually preferred gambling at the Crows Cub and Matthias stood at the top of the stairs, watching you with his arms crossed. It seemed like everyone was waiting for you to return, and you couldn't help but feel uneasy.
Ignoring the greetings, Kaz announced, “You'll never guess who Y/N met.” The room fell silent, and Kaz removed his hat as if to emphasize his point. “Antoon Beudeker.”
A hum of surprised sounds ran through the room, and all eyes turned to you. You felt uncomfortable being the center of attention. You had been trying to track down Beudeker for weeks, but he always managed to slip away from you, as if someone in the Dregs was tipping him off about your plans.
Nina spoke up, breaking the silence. “What do you mean by that?”
Kaz looked at you, not bothering to hide his annoyance. “A talent for stealing isn't Y/N's only skill. As you can see, the talent for trouble far outweighs it.”
You shifted uncomfortably under Kaz's gaze, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. You knew you had made a mistake by bumping into Beudeker, but it wasn't even your fault. All you wanted was to cut yourself off after the argument with Kaz, and now he was the one who was right again.
Wylan's voice carried through the quiet room, breaking the tension. “What are we do with him now?” he asked, but no one answered, assuming that it was up to their missing Wraith to handle the situation.
Jesper's frustration boiled over, and he jumped up from his seat. “It's not fair!” he exclaimed, pointing his revolver at the wall. “I was the one who wanted to put a bullet between his eyes.”
Matthias stepped forward, before anyone reacted to sharpshooter's words, his expression serious. “We need to figure out who's been leaking our plans to Antoon. This could be dangerous for all of us.”
“I agree,” Nina added. “We need to find out who's been betraying us and deal with them.”
Wylan's voice piped up, “What if we set a trap?”
Kaz nodded, considering the idea.
“We could feed different information to each member of the Dregs and see which version gets back to someone who will claim to be Beudeker now. That way, we'll know who we can trust and who we can't,” you suggested.
Nina grinned. “I like it. And if we catch the traitor, we can make an example out of them.”
Jesper's eyes gleamed with anticipation. “I'll provide the entertainment.”
Matthias shook his head. “No, Jesper. We can't take the law into our own hands. We'll handle the traitor according to our own rules, but we won't kill them.”
Jesper shrugged, disappointed but not arguing. “But killing is our rule, Helvar.”
Matthias's expression darkened, but before he could reply, Kaz spoke up. “That's enough. We're not discussing this any further. We need to focus on finding the leak first, not arguing about how to deal with them.”
Jesper and Matthias both looked at Kaz, but neither of them said anything. The silence in the room was heavy with tension, and you could sense the frustration emanating from Jesper and the anger radiating from Matthias. Kaz's tone had effectively shut down the conversation, but you knew that it was far from over.
“We'll start investigating tomorrow,” Kaz's voice filled the room again. “For now, let's all get some rest. We have a long day ahead of us.”
As Kaz's words faded away, the tension in the room dissipated, and everyone began to go their separate ways. You hesitated, still reeling from the events of the evening, unsure of what to do next.
Sensing your unease, Kaz approached you, his expression serious but not unkind. “I know this is a lot to take in,” he said, his voice low. “But we have a job to do, and we can't afford to let our emotions cloud our judgment. I need you to be focused tomorrow, do you understand?”
You nodded, feeling a bit guilty for today’s argument. “Yes. I'll be ready,” you replied, determined to not let him down.
Kaz gave you a small nod of approval before turning to leave. You watched him go, listening to the rhythmic tapping of his cane on the panels. The weight of his words settling on your shoulders. It was true that you couldn't afford to let your emotions get in the way of the investigation, but it was easier said than done. The events of the evening had shaken you to your core, and you weren't sure if you could push them aside so easily. Life in Ketterdam has been hard, but never before has such danger reached you directly.
With a heavy sigh, you made your way back to your room, hoping that a good night's rest would help clear your mind.
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You were surprised to find the Antoon's spy so easily, feeling foolish for not discovering it sooner. Despite the setback, the mood in the Crow Club remained peaceful as the days passed. The seventh of you sat together, planning your next move and gossiping about Ketterdam's richest people. Kaz seemed more relaxed than usual, and even Jesper and Matthias were on their best behavior, seemingly content to simply enjoy the moment of peace.
As the night wore on and the group's conversation continued to flow, you couldn't help but notice Kaz's eyes on you. You caught his gaze a few times, and each time you felt a jolt of electricity run through you. It was a feeling you had been trying to ignore for a while now, but it was becoming increasingly difficult with each passing day.
As you turned to look at Jesper, who was recounting a funny story, you noticed Kaz's expression change slightly. It was a subtle shift, but you could tell he was suddenly distant, lost in thought.
After a few minutes, Kaz stood up and motioned for you to follow him. You looked around at the others, confused, but they simply shrugged and continued their conversation. You followed Kaz up the dimly lit hallway to his office.
Once inside, Kaz closed the door and motioned for you to take a seat. You sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk, feeling a bit nervous. Kaz took a seat opposite you, resting his cane on the desk, right next to the chair and leaned forward, his elbows on his desk.
His expression was serious, but not unkind. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” he began, his voice low. “I've noticed that things between us have been a bit... different lately.”
You shifted in your seat, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Different how?” you asked, not sure if you really wanted to know the answer.
Kaz leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “I think you know what I mean,” he replied, his gaze fixed on yours.
Your heart skipped a beat as you realized what he was talking about. “Kaz, I...” you began, but he cut you off with a wave of his hand.
“I just wanted you to know that I'm aware of the situation,” he said, his tone even, then he paused for a moment. “You know, Y/N. I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to care for someone. To really care for someone,” he looked directly at you, his eyes intense, emphasizing the weight of his words. “And I've come to the conclusion that there's no one I care for more than you.”
You were completely taken aback by Kaz's words. You had never heard him express his feelings so openly before. Your heart raced as you searched his face for any sign of insincerity, but you found none. You were overcome with a mixture of shock, disbelief, and joy.
His heart sank as he watched you gaze at Jesper with a look of admiration and affection earlier, even if you two were just friends. It was then that he realized how deeply in love with you he truly was. He had been trying to ignore his feelings for you for so long, but seeing you look at someone else with such tenderness was too much to bear.
Kaz carefully chose his words, wanting to express his feelings without being too direct. “I've been thinking about our friendship,” he said, his voice low and serious. “I value our bond more than anything else in the world, and I want to make sure that nothing ever comes between us.”
“Why are you bringing this up now?” you asked genuinely confused by Kaz's sudden openness.
He shifted in his seat, looking almost uncomfortable, “Well, I just wanted to make sure that you know how much you mean to me,” Kaz said, his eyes meeting yours. “There's no one else I trust or care for more than you, Y/N.”
You could feel the weight of his words, the sincerity and depth of emotion behind them. You knew that he was a man of few words, and when he spoke, it was always with a purpose. It was hard to reconcile this Kaz with the cold and distant one you had grown accustomed to over the years.
You couldn't help but feel that there was an underlying message in Kaz's words, something that he wasn't explicitly stating. Your intuition was telling you that there was more to the story than what he had let on. You couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that something was amiss.
“Kaz,” you began, your voice hesitant. “Is there something else you want to tell me? Something that you're not saying?”
Kaz's expression remained neutral, but you could sense a hint of discomfort in his demeanor. You knew that he wasn't one to wear his heart on his sleeve, so you weren't surprised that he was hesitant to open up to you completely.
“I've said what I needed to say,” Kaz replied, his voice flat. “There's nothing more to it.”
His reply felt like a dead end, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. You knew that he was a complex person, with layers that even you couldn't fully comprehend, but you couldn't shake off the sense that he was still holding something back. Nonetheless, you tried to put on a brave face and show your gratitude for his honesty.
“Okay,” you said, rising from your seat. “I appreciate you telling me how you feel. Our friendship means the world to me too, Kaz.” You couldn't help but wonder what his true intentions were, but you knew that you needed to be patient and let him come to you when he was ready.
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hottpinkpenguin · 1 year
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Kaz brekker with the Nightmares end eventually prompt? Male/gender neutral reader if possible and romantic! If you do it then thank you!
A/n: I always love my first fic for a new character, so thank you anon for putting Kaz Brekker on my list!! this is a tad cheesier than my normal fare but i think our brooding boy Kaz needs a little romance in his life, so here it is. Hope you love it<3
Nightmares Kaz Brekker X GN!Reader WC: 2,031 Content Warnings for: depictions of violence, dead bodies, gore; probably some non-canon details
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Kaz’s legs grew heavy and stopped kicking, his back end sinking into the cold waters of Ketterdam’s harbor. Behind him, the rank stench of rotting corpses from the Reaper’s Barge hung like a cloud in the air. The lights of Ketterdam bobbed on the horizon ahead like a beacon, but it seemed with each moment Kaz was drifting further away from the shore. His fingers fumbling to grab hold of his dead brother’s jacket for flotation. He gulped at the night air in the rare moments where his head broke the surface of the waves. The salt water stung the open sores on his face and hands, his body weak from sickness and hunger. The only thought in his mind: swim. 
Trying to stifle a wave of nausea, Kaz grabbed ahold of Jordie’s bobbing corpse and hauled himself as far upward above the waves as he could manage. Kaz let out a strangled sob as his brother’s dead-pale face sank an inch below the water, his lifeless eyes gaping up at the starless sky above. 
“Jordie.”
Kaz choked on his brother’s name, grief and horror twining together in his chest like strangling vines. He tried to push away thoughts of giving up, of letting go of Jordie’s corpse and allowing the sea to take him. 
But something deep within him burned hotter than the firepox that riddled his body. A drive to live, to fight, to survive. Kaz had always had it - he got it from Jordie, he knew. Jordie had taught him how to fight back when the world threatened to crush you. Kaz heard his older brother’s voice echo in his mind: swim, Kaz. 
His vision swam with white dots, but he forced himself to kick his legs, though they felt heavy like anchors. 
Swim, Kaz. Swim. The feel of his brother’s unnaturally stiff, cold skin beneath the thin, water-logged linen shirt seared itself into Kaz’s memory. 
Swim. Kick. Breath. Swim. Kick. Breath.
The lights of Ketterdam drew closer. 
Kick. Kick. Swim.
The faint sounds of the docks tickled his ears. Kaz’s lungs were burning, the firepox that had weakened him and taken his brother’s life making one last, desperate attempt at his strength.
Breath. Kick. Breath. Kick.
Kaz felt his leg bounce off the ragged surface of a rock. The sounds of waves lapping on a rocky coast announced his arrival at the shores of Ketterdam.
Kick. Kick. Kick.
As soon as Kaz felt the pebbles scrape his stomach, he threw himself off his brother’s dead body and emptied his stomach in the sea foam. His head spun with exhaustion, fever, and terror. Next to him, he felt his brother’s body bob against him in the waves. Kaz scrambled away from the feeling, the terror reaching a fever pitch in his mind as he began to understand what he’d done. 
He turned to look back at Jordie, now face-down in the ankle deep waters along Ketterdam’s warehouse district seawall. Jordie’s stiff body was so pale it seemed to shimmer with an unnatural, sickly glow. Kaz shivered violently as panic ripped through every inch of him. Mustering all his strength, he tipped his chin towards the sky and shrieked. He screamed for everything in his life he’d once thought would keep him safe: for Jordie, for his parents, for the world he thought he knew. The shriek felt like it would tear him in half, and Kaz let himself empty the pain he felt inside into the raw dark night. When the scream finally died on his lips with a strangled sob, what was left of the boy that had been Kaz Rietveld knew he would never be the same again…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
Kaz felt himself rear up out of bed, his heart racing and that shriek from so many years before fading like an echo in his ears. He was panting, his body soaked with sweat. He swiped back the stray strands of hair plastered to his flushed forehead with a gloved hand. 
“Kaz?”
A familiar voice drifted through the barely open door to his private quarters above the Crow Club. Kaz felt the knot of panic in his chest loosen slightly at the sound. 
“Kaz, are you alright?” 
Ever respectful, you didn’t barge through the door to check on him, although Kaz could hear the tense itch of concern in your voice. Kaz let his eyes close as he tried to clamp down the lid on his memories. 
“I’m fine,” he called back, although his voice wavered pathetically. There was a split second of quiet before you replied.
“Nightmares, boss?”
The question was so quiet Kaz almost didn’t hear you. He let out a shaky exhale through lips that quivered ever so slightly. A gentle tap on the door: a question. 
“Come in, y/n.”
Kaz wasn’t used to letting people into his quarters. Even Inej and Jesper, his closest friends - if Kaz Brekker could be said to have such relationships - were rare guests. Kaz didn’t like that he let you in, but you felt like a tonic. It wasn’t a coincidence that Kaz had asked you to take night watches for him. Your presence seemed to ease a pain Kaz had felt for so long he’d forgotten he had it. And on nights like this one - nights where Kaz’s dreams swallowed him whole and spat him back out - he needed you close. He’d never admit it aloud, although he didn’t need to. There was an understanding between you two, a tacit agreement. You’d stay close to him, he’d look after you. 
You opened the door and slipped in, a momentary brightening from the hallway lights followed by the return of darkness to Kaz’s quarters. 
“They were bad tonight.” Not a question, but an observation. Kaz looked over in your direction as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He could barely make out your silhouette, although he could see the moonlight from his open window dancing in your large, thoughtful eyes. Damn those eyes, Kaz cursed to himself silently. They would be his undoing. 
“Yes.” 
Kaz never talked much about his dreams, even to you. He was grateful that you were content with what little information he did give. He had a feeling that you recognized just how difficult it was for him to tolerate the miniscule amounts of vulnerability he allowed you to see. 
From the doorway, you nodded. You didn’t move to come closer to Kaz, and he didn’t motion for you to. You were close enough for Kaz to hear your even, steady breathing. He focused on that sound and tried to slow his own inhales and exhales to match. Even though it violated every instinct he had, Kaz let his eyelids flutter close. You hung back next to the door. The sounds of the sleeping city outside filled the quiet. Minutes passed, and Kaz let his mind loosen its grip on the fear that his nightmare had awoken. 
When he opened his eyes, he found you exactly where he’d left you. Leaned against the wall, your kind eyes still trained on him. Kaz scooted up to lean back against the headboard, his bare chest now rising and falling in time with your own breathing. 
“You have nightmares too, if I remember?” 
Kaz caught the flicker of surprise in your gaze. Kaz usually never talked on nights like this, not unless you asked him something. Not only was he speaking, he was asking about you. Surprise gave way to a tender smirk, and you nodded.
“I did. Still do, but they’re less now.” Flickers of moments from your past that plagued your dreams danced in your head. A field of charred bodies… your sister in her favorite day dress lying face down in the blood-soaked mud next to the smoking remnants of your house… the way the smoke from your burned-out village blotted out of the sun… 
You shook the images away like gnats, bringing yourself back to the moment, back to Kaz. 
He was watching you intently. His dark hair was deliciously disheveled, and you could see the smooth planes of his stomach peeking out above the bedsheets.
“How did you do it?” he asked quietly. You forced yourself away from his body and tried to focus on his words, realizing you’d lost track of the conversation. You cocked an eyebrow at him, unsure of his meaning. 
“How did you cope with them, I mean,” Kaz clarified. “How did you get them to go away?” A gentle night breeze fluttered the gauzy curtains by the window next to his bedside. 
You turned Kaz’s question over in your head, wondering where to start.
“They never really went away,” you confessed, chewing on your lip. You’d resigned yourself long ago that you’d live the rest of your life with memories of the day your family was taken from you carved into your soul. It wasn’t something you would escape or ever come to terms with. It simply was. 
You tried to say as much, but the words that dangled on the edge of your tongue felt all wrong. Your mouth opened and closed with a heavy sigh. 
Kaz’s lips quirked up at the sound. He turned to look out into Ketterdam’s streets, the moonlight casting his handsome face in a gentle glow. 
“That’s not a fair question,” he mused with a hint of embarrassment. “I’m sorry to bother you, y/n. I’m fine. You can go back to your post.” 
You felt a twinge of disappointment at Kaz’s words, although they were less of a dismissal and more of a question. You turned to leave, but hesitated as your hand touched the doorknob. 
When you turned back to him, he was staring at you with something that looked like hope in his eyes. It made your heart leap in your chest. 
“One thing I learned about nightmares, boss. Even nightmares end eventually.” 
Kaz considered your words thoughtfully. You held his gaze as you kept talking. 
“The things that gave us our nightmares ended, too. It doesn’t mean we forget them, it doesn’t mean we move on. But it does mean that we aren’t prisoners forever. The dreams, the memories… they’re with us, but they don’t control us. They teach us things, but they don’t command us.”
Kaz drank in your every word, watching the way your expression glazed over as whatever memories haunted you swam just beneath the surface of your eyes. He knew that look: he’d seen it in himself many times before. The way you wore it though was different. He marveled at the realization that he’d never really seen you before. He’d felt you, felt the calming effect that your presence had on him. But now he could see why: you understood him. As much as anyone could. Kaz had always liked to think that others only knew him as much as he let them know him. You were proof that that wasn’t true. It both frightened him and delighted him. 
“Sorry… that didn’t make much sense.” You let your eyes drop to the ground, suddenly embarrassed by your outburst. You turned to the door, eager to make your escape from the awkward moment. 
“It makes perfect sense, actually,” he interjected quickly. You hesitated, halfway out the door into the dimly lit hallway. With the aid of the lamps from the hall, Kaz could see you more clearly. He thought he detected a faint flush on your cheeks, and he had to bite down a smirk at the sight. He was glad the light didn’t reach him, because you’d see a similar heat on his face. He’d taken a big step with you tonight, but he wasn’t ready to show you how he felt. Not yet. 
“Thank you, y/n,” he called after you. 
You turned halfway back to him, not meeting his eyes. From your profile, Kaz could see the faint hints of a smile. 
“You’re welcome, Kaz.”
You left him alone with a quiet click of his door. Kaz hated how much he loved the way his name sounded in your voice.
This time when Kaz fell asleep, it wasn’t his past that swirled in his dreams, but hopes for the future.
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heathsbitch · 1 year
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serenity*
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• pairing: kaz brekker x black!reader
• requested: Yes
• warnings: oral (m on f), poor proof reading (as usual)
• word count: 599
• a/n: She's back! Again! S2 has pulled me from the depths and hopefully, I will be uploading more regularly. Please keep in mind that in this fic, the reader and Kaz are in an established relationship and have worked through his
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Tension crept across the muscles in his back, bright eyes heavy with fatigue; he dragged himself back to the Slat, craving nothing more than rest and relaxation, preferably between the legs of his lover. The job had been tedious and gruelling, punishing for every crow – mistakes came easily to all of them, but Kaz scolded himself, believing it was his fault so many things went awry. He wasn’t focused, his mind wandered on an entirely different plane – lost in thoughts of what it would feel like to peel the clothes off his lover. It had been both a blessing and a curse to ask her to wear that dress. That white dress. The dress that hugged her form, pulling and embracing every one of her curves. The ivory dress that complimenting her ebony skin perfectly. He couldn’t help but let his eyes deviate from the locks he was tasked to pick.
Kaz was tempted to scour the streets of Ketterdam in search for a painter, a sculptor, anything that would allow him to capture the picture of his lover in that dress. But he knew nothing, no one would be able to encapsulate her beauty, the sheer sensuality of the thin fabric that caressed her skin. He thought she belonged in a temple; the very picture of some ancient deity, made to bring men to their knees, made to be worshipped. And Kaz had every intention of doing so.
The second they returned to their shared room, their sanctuary away from the prying eyes of the Barrel, Kaz’s hands found the material of her chalky dress, allowing himself to indulge in the sight one last time before he met the bare flesh of her shoulder. He took pleasure in the sight of his pale fingers pressed against her dark skin, pawing and squeezing every inch of her. His name fell from her lips like a prayer as his mouth followed in the wake of his hands. Wet, open-mouthed kisses met her body as the dress was gradually peeled from her form.
“Someone’s eager.” Kaz’s lover giggled as she was ushered towards the bed. “Is there shame in wanting to worship a living Saint?” He muttered against her lips after placing a tender kiss to them. “My, my,” She teased, “ I never took Dirtyhands for a religious man,” He lightly nipped her hip with his teeth, scolding her for her taunts. “You wanted to worship me? Then worship.” At her command, she spread her legs, presenting her already-dripping core to her lover. He stared like a man starved, fingers digging into the sable flesh of her thighs.
“Fuck,” He whimpered into her slit as he licked a long stripe from her entrance to her bug, revelling in the sharp gasp that escaped her throat. The moans and whimpers that left her only spurred Kaz on further, grasping her by the apex of her legs and tugging her body closer to his further. Tongue diving deeper, dark eyelashes fluttered shut as his hips rutted against the sheets below him; he found his own pleasure through worshipping his goddess. All the stress from the day languidly vanished, replaced by desire, a burning lust for his lover. From the moment he saw her in that white dress, Kaz knew he yearned for nothing more than to escape back to the Slat with her, to find peace between her thighs. His wish had been granted, by the Saints or perhaps the deity squirming under the work of his tongue. Bliss washed over the pair, both of them finding serenity within one another’s pleasure.
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You can find my other Kaz (and other Grishaverse) writings in my Masterlist.
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