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zzzzzestforlife · 2 months

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🍋 working student diaries // i will not be defeated 💪

my Korean journaling is getting better~ i only had to make one correction ☺️ (내 한국어 일기는 더 좋은데~ 오직 한번 정정 ☺️)

매일 연습하다. every day is practice.

opening my eyes to the feeling of not wanting to get up soon, but knowing i have to. shuffling to the bathroom in the soft morning light. curling back up under the covers for a few more precious minutes.

watching a favorite show over breakfast. (나나 투어, 나도 이탈리아 가고 싶어!! nana tour, i also want to go to italy!! 🥺)

오늘도 배운은 것 많아요. today too, i learned many things.

preparing for a meeting with my senior colleague. we need to plan an important step in the project i'm coordinating that has been overlooked until now. i update the project documents and such after our discussion.

and then i have another meeting with another engineer who has experience with the infrastructure issue i'm having (unfortunately there is no other way around it, i just have to do some tedious work, but once it's over i can move forward again — 할 수 있어! i can do it! 😤)

뒤에 봐때, 그 힘들은 것 생각했어, 사실 아니요. when i look back, the hard things i thought of actually were not.

i'm a bit of a worrier sometimes. usually i'm able to keep the procrastination at bay, but today it's difficult. my chronic back pain is always creeping up from the periphery and i have to deal with it. sometimes the best medicine isn't even exercise because that can be painful too. i just watch some videos to expand my Korean (vegetable) vocabulary, practice my Japanese, and listen to Chinese (which brought me back to doing stretches anyway 🙃).

오늘도 너무 고맙다. today too, i'm very thankful.

although it comes with it's own unique challenges, the project that i have to coordinate isn't as hard as the project my seniors are dealing with right now. it's been the bane of their existence for so long 진짜 안 부럽다 i'm really not jealous 😅

it's been a while since i've had the opportunity to work on infrastructure, so i'm grateful for the review. it's so rewarding to feel my experiences reinforcing one another as they stack up. it makes me excited to think about the kind of engineer, or more broadly the kind of person, i could be someday.

가끔 편리한 않아요. sometimes it's not convenient.

i keep switching between my personal and work laptop because i'm in the middle of working on an essay for my developmental psychology class.

also, i forgot that i was supposed to do a quiz yesterday. thankfully i could still take it today 근데 다른 시험들보다 갑자기 아주 어렵다 but compared to the other quizzes it was suddenly very difficult 😓

근데 이렇께 계속 개선하다. but like this, i continue to improve.

i keep thinking i have nothing left to add to my essay, but then i think of something new. i was so happy to read the chapter on language development and i'm so glad now that this, out of all the topics we cover in this course, is what we get to write an essay about. this is exactly what i love, 어떻게 운 이만큼 입니까? how am i this lucky? 🥰

(i was so into it that i lost track of time... i'll be going to sleep later than usual, but i'm too satisfied to care~)

수고습니다. 잘 가. thank you for your hard work. go well.

💌: the literal translation of 잘 가 sounds so dramatic, but i love it. basically, you're wishing someone well on their journey. 잘 가 여러분~ you worked hard today!

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roguemonsterfucker · 2 months

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My poor younger sibling is the only member of my family that actually wants to see people. Like. In real life.

They get so excited when extended family may come visit.

So uh. Yesterday, a somewhat distant relative said they were coming to town and wanted to make plans to meet up with us. Now, making plans to go somewhere for my family is. Complicated.

My younger sibling has a lot of disabilities that make getting out of the house quite the production (wheelchair, medical equipment that has to travel with us, etc, etc). But uh. People don't usually understand this. They don't really process the fact that leaving the house takes real effort for us.

But we were gonna do it because my younger sibling really wanted to meet up with this person! Because my sibling is a fucking weirdo who actually likes people for some reason. 😂 Very much the black sheep of the family. We're all anti social losers.

Anyways, so this person last night says that they'll get back in contact with us to make plans to meet up today.

So my sibling gets ready for the day as if they're gonna be leaving the house.

And then we wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Finally my mom is like, no. It's too late in the day now. It's an hour drive there and traffic will be bad and we can't be out late in the evening anyways for reasons. So she texts the person that they'll have to cancel.

And uh. The person texts back basically saying that they're at the airport right now, leaving town, so they wouldn't have been able to meet up anyways. Plans got changed so they didn't end up staying as long as originally thought.

🙃

So uh. Yeah. My younger sibling is really upset. They even said "This is gonna turn me into you!" lol. 😂

This person had all fucking day to let us know plans changed. But didn't say anything until we had to cancel.

Odds are they just forgot about the plans they'd been making with us. But fucking hell.

I'm very angry on my sibling's behalf because they actually like spending time with our extended family! They like hanging out with people! And this happens to them all the fucking time.

And then *we* get labeled as the people that don't make an effort to spend time with family. Because no one understands how much fucking effort it takes to even leave the fucking house and no one's willing to accommodate for that. They always expect us to be the one to drive an hour. They expect us to be the one to stay over at their house (with a fucking ventilator no less 🙄).

We can't just jump in the car and go anywhere we want. Just getting my sibling into a car is a long, hard process because of their mobility disabilities. Then if where we're going requires them to get out of the car again... Oh boy. That's a lot of moving around that is very difficult. That's not even mentioning the like three bags of medical equipment my sibling has to have nearby at all times (some of which is attached to them!).

And yet. My sibling loves going places. They love meeting people.

My sibling, the one of us who physically can't go places too much both because it's difficult and because they're prone to getting sick.

And the *one* time in months that we were gonna put forth the effort and take that risk... and the person doesn't even have the courtesy to let us know they needed to cancel.

anyways, i'm kinda pissed off if you couldn't tell. I figured a lot of y'all might be able to relate to part of this struggle at least.

I don't have my sibling's physical disabilities but I have a lot of my own issues that our extended family over the years has thought they could fix by just forcing me to do what they wanted me to do. I've had people just not understand the depth of my problems and never care to accommodate me or even just accept that part of me. But I also fucking hate people and don't care to talk to any of our extended family if I don't have to, so it's whatever. It just breaks my heart to see my sibling be so excited for something only for that person to be an inconsiderate jerk and crush their excitement.

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imhereformr · 5 months

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Hi, the last ask which you answered was from me, thank you so much for answering 😊

Could you answer the same question but for the specialists ? Thanks 😊

Can you please rank each of the specialists in terms of your favourite to least favourite ?

Also please can say what you like and dislike about each of them?

Okay I'm starting this on September 15th 2023. Let's see how long it takes to fully answer and post it 😂 UPDATE: It's now December 11th. Whoops.

1. Riven

Once again, my beloved. My king. My precious kitten that must be protected.

I'm a sucker for the bad boy character, let's start with that.

I hate the regression in his development. Loathe it. The writers should be hanged/burned at the stake/drawn and quartered for it.

But his character development, when it's there is SO SO GOOD. I love my precious damaged baby learning to let himself be loved and open himself up. It's just so beautiful :')

And yeah, it doesn't hurt that he's nice to look at even with his stupid onion hair.

2. Brandon

TBH Brandon and Nabu switch places a lot depending on my mood.

Brandon is a king (just not actually) (that's a joke about the switch, just not a good one). He is loyal, patient, kind, hardworking, confident. Frankly, I'm not sure he has any faults?

And now that I'm trying to think of something I dislike, I can't. Maybe he should permanently be #2?

3. Nabu

I HATE the way Nabu is introduced, let's start there, yeah? Stalking is just not a good look, babe. Even if it was intended as "research into your future wife" and not outright stalking. Lying about your identity, maybe a smidge better cause it's not an actual crime? Idk, I'll let you guys judge for yourselves on that one.

I love his character. He's easy going, charming, confident, funny (and alive, at least in my mind).

4. Timmy

I'm 100% convinced the reason I love Timmy is because of the way he is in my head and not in the show because in the show he has no actual personality besides geek 🙃

I do love that Timmy is genuine and kind. And come on, how can you not love how romantic he is? This man refused to believe Tecna was dead when everyone else was mourning her. And he found her! And then was willing to go to Omega for her.

My issue with him, as with most other characters, is the writers fault. He has no backstory, no character development, nothing. He exists as the geek character and Tecna's boyfriend. Nothing else.

5. Helia

Helia's cool I guess he just had no personality, you know? That's literally all I can say. Much like Timmy, his personality is very 1d (that's one dimentional, not one direction). It's art.

Oh, and "mystery" for a bit there.

And once he and Flora are together, well, sometimes I think the writers forgot about him.

6. Sky

Sky, much like Bloom, had potential. He could have been the prince who is struggling under the pressure, who just wants to do good for his people. He could have been a multi-faceted character who makes mistakes and tries to fix them, who has a personality and a sense of humour. Instead, he's blank-slate, white bread, perfect prince charming. He's boring.

#winx club #winx specialists #winx riven #winx brandon #winx nabu #winx timmy #winx helia #winx sky #and hey it only took me 2 months to answer this #no wait 3 months #i can math i promise

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scienceoftheidiot · 6 months

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Hi! So I'm going to catch up on the latest chapter of All The Hope asap, but do you mind sharing some of the inspirations and thought processes you had behind writing this story? :D

Aahh don't worry about catching up, the fic is there and not going away, read when you can 🥰

I'm so sorry this is going to be... Extremely long... 😬😬😬 oops 😅

Sooo there are a number of thought processes I've gone through when writing this specific fic! I'll try to explain while being not too spoilery 😅

(Edit : in case anyone wants to read the fic, you can find it here : All the hope that I lost, you have found)

First, as I say in the notes of the fic, I had the idea of this because I had already written a fic where Roy didn't get healed after Promised Day and stayed blind, but in this one it was understood in the background that Grumman had pressured the other generals so he'd be able to keep him.

The result is a fic where, inbetween the lines, Roy has a LOT of pressure on himself, has to go through rehab and at the same time has to prove he can still be kept in the army - which means the frat laws still apply, and neither he nor Riza have much brain power left to try and address this, which makes for a weird power imbalance and Roy not knowing where he stands and what he wants out of the relationship (which. Is what backfires at the beginning, because, he in fact, knows very well, and what he wants is NOT nurse Riza 🙃). So the whole setting is different.

I still like this fic, and many things that happen in it, but it's pretty unrealistic even by FMA standards, lol (I also forgot to take into account that Havoc himself would need a lot of rehab before he comes back 😅), and I wanted to explore the other, more realistic option imo, that Roy wouldn't be kept in the army's ranks.

Because with Roy out of the army, so many things can actually work better.

Of course the obvious, and what Roy realizes himself in the first chapter, is that the frat laws don't apply. More on that later.

But there's also the fact that Roy, as a General (Grumman would definitely not leave him a Colonel after Promised Day at least in part because so many generals have died 😅), would have overseen Ishval's restauration from afar, and not be hands on. Because he'd have a lot of work, he'd probably be appointed to be the head of East Command at the very least (Grumman even talks about it in the manga), and while Roy this way can ensure there's enough funds and men and help going and he would have been far more able to pull money from the state and rich people of Amestris to fund the restauration, he would also be way too precious to be allowed to just roam around Ishval helping rebuild.

Basically, in post Promised Day Amestris, an able bodied General Mustang who wouldn't use alchemy much is far more precious to the army than an overpowered, but blind Roy. Not only do I like to pull the rug from under his feet because I'm just evil like that, I like how he's never been that powerful, and yet. While there's a lot of talk about how Amestris is pretty good at accepting disability (no meta from me there, I don't have much to say), it's stated plainly a couple of times that unless they can be fit with an automail, disabled soldiers are no use. See Havoc. Anyway that's the way I followed, because even with Grumman on top, the army stays the army, and the army is not a nice institution. At least Roy and Havoc got a pension 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't think they could have expected much more.

So overall, politically speaking, having Roy stay in the army is interesting, but action wise a little less. Alchemy wise, too. Because I want Roy to use his new overpowered alchemy (he will !!! And not only to transmute tea, spoons and squeaky door hinges, lol)(this fic is very slow aaab I am sorry), and if he's not on the field or only as a last resort against some incredibly powerful enemy.... That's not of my interest. (Keep in mind that's just MY train of thoughts, lol, I am not dissing any fic that does that. I want to read them. Lol). And to be honest I don't see any other reason that just being kicked out where Roy would leave the army (in manga/BH. In 03 I have different ideas but this reply is already soooo long).

Another point is that I wanted to explore Royai as an established couple, but still stay within the lines of the original story. And here I have the perfect setting : no frat laws anymore, they needed each other to basically survive during and right after Promised Day, and I had them make this deal that if Riza helps Roy, she has to let him help her, too. In this fic, the result of Promised Day is that now they are codependent more than ever, and I wanted to explore that, how their relationship shifts but in the end stays the same, and how it helps them move on.

It's definitely NOT a sane way to recover IRL, I know lol, but I think for them there is no other way. Their lives are already so entwined, it couldn't work differently in this specific case.

Last but not least : I'm an angst monster. Taking everything from Roy and fucking up Riza? Yes please let me play with that 😈 How is someone as stubborn and ambitious as Roy going to deal with having his ambitions crushed, and his autonomy seriously hampered? How is Riza going to deal with what was basically her goal by procuration disappearing, and her job radically changing? How are they both going to go on? Together, of course. And as I had Roy say himself in the fic, maybe they can allow themselves that, even if it's temporary, because, well. They don't have much else left. And it's not hurting anybody so why not.

So with this as a (clearly not as defined at the time) base I went on and then the events just clicked.

However. I want to say a couple of things about this fic, more in a logistics way :

First, the number of chapters is a lie. I have hastily cut all the "conjoined" chapters I had in half to get a rough number, but in fact there are some chapters that I keep as one, some that I divided that I had not planned on dividing. So take the number of chapters as an indication that the fic is mostly written and almost finished, but it won't be 27 chapters for real. How many ? No idea lol. Probably more around 20 judging by how it's going.

Also. This fic is only the beginning of Roy and Riza's journey, be it together or to rebuild Ishval. It will end with the (nice!) big event that was already foreshadowed, leaving a lot to do still. But if I find the strength to write yet another crazy long fic, there will be a second part (ok uh. Second part is already 20K long and has a rough outline. I don't write linearly lol).

This whole fic btw is also there for two reasons : 1) considering I am (have been for YEARS) writing an original novel with a blind main character I just HAD to try and write blind Roy, couldn't pass on that, and 2) I have an incredible enabler in the person of @qs63 who just pushes me, gives me lots of inspiration, and reads all I write and is just so supportive, and who is a great writer herself - we even wrote a whole fic together, and it was A BLAST. This fic wouldn't be there without her because I didn't want to just write yet another blind Roy fic and she persuaded me the idea was good. And now I think it's one of the best I've been working on (with the one we wrote together, lol).

Aaaanyway sorry this is a lot of rambling and thoughts and this was very long, but thank you so so much for asking about this fic. I just love to talk about it and read how people feel about it ❤️❤️❤️ thanks !

#long post #writing #replies

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guardian-angle22 · 1 year

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I saw this Tiktok video of a guy looking for simple flyers to redesign and he came across these flyers pasted on the streets that’s asking for new catan mates (I can’t at how the owners of the catan flyers even edited the silhouettes saying “this could be you!” 😂) The flyer looks so wholesome and why can I see Tarlos doing something like this 😭 it would probably be TK’s idea and Carlos going “oh gawd why” but still helping TK to paste it on the streets and sighing that now he has to do background checks on whoever TK choose as the new catan mates

Or it can be like right after Nancy made that “I m over Catan” comment, a highly offended TK immediately dashing home and pulling out all his Microsoft paint skills to do this out of spite 😂 feat Carlos who is just standing there watching in horror as TK passionately designs the overly simple flyer on MS Paint and looking so proud of his work

https://www.tiktok.com/@cool_lookin_bug/video/7203475123431542058

omg I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for so long and completely forgot to finish replying, I am so sorry!! This is what I get for trying to reply to things while at work. 🙃

I can’t decide which of these two scenarios I love more! TK & Carlos just looking for some more people to play Catan with (people they can actually beat cause they won’t gang up against them) or TK being a petty little bitch and making a flyer to spite Nancy.

On a related note: I rewatched the first Catan scene the other day for a gifset I’m working on and in hindsight it is so obvious that none of these actors have ever played this game before (and possibly even the writers) lmaooo. Mateo trades with Nancy and then somehow Marjan pulls a card even though no one rolled and it’s also not her turn? If the Tarlos juggernaut was so ahead that everyone had to rally against them, how could Marjan have won with drawing a knight card?? She would have had to been tied with their points or only one point behind so like… make it make sense!!! Someone force these guys to play Catan just once in between takes (and also live stream it so we can all see the absolute chaos that would occur)

#anon answered #I also don’t have access to my beloved Paul gifs while at work and it’s very sad #but I’ve put off posting this for toooo long! I’m so sorry anon!!#I’ve played way too much Catan in my lifetime tbh so I’m a harsh critic over here #I once won a family ‘Catournament’ in which I played multiple games in a row. Catan-athon one might call it

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sparksnevadas · 8 months

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Sparks, sparks no need to apologize and I hope you’re feeling a tad better ^^!! I was just gonna go on my neon green alt w/o anon if it was broken today too so no worries (my account constantly breaks so, I just assumed it was that lmao)

Also, I do not mind if there are multiple asses as to say, I am going to beat them all up, if my major has taught me anything it’s patience <3

I am suddenly surrounded in fear hearing that we’re nearing the end, but look as long as it doesn’t end in a mayor death- (I’m starting into your eyes w my own soggy eyes, don’t ask why they’re soggy, but like really staring into them) I do hope you have fun with any reveals you may have left or giving out scares as big as chapter 19 :)

I do find it very funny that Grian tries to categorize everyone into boxes, only for the people in question to break out of them in one way or another, like Scar not being the “stupid harmless villain” that he was thought to be at the start and everything around Mumbo and Bdubs and Chapter 21 itself- but it also makes me really curious about some details that we don’t get to see cuz of Grian’s own bias and general underestimating, SO you bet chapter 21 opened a floodgate in my mind as to questions around the world GIHASM’s in (I’m still a tad rabid, writing this got me all happy again hehe)

Once again, I hope you’re doing well nowadays, luv you too!! And sorry for actually not rambling too much, I work like a vampire and need to be invited in so I didn’t wanna disturb you? 😔

…Also I haven’t forgotten about the doodles, but switched workspaces so having to restart the file, sorry about that one

-Zeph

tumblr is a funtioning app 🙃 /sarcasm

Lmao, patience would be an important part of beating multiple asses, i agree xD see i think theres also the proverbial ass of “things cant change overnight, especially if the public sees you only as a good thing” so real, lasting change takes a lot of effort….

(Look, no one ever said my political ideas were subtle)

I think eyes should be soggy! Better than dry :D and idk about reveals… mostly trying to tie lose ends more so than reveals… and maybe some unexpected twist? Tee hee

How many times do you think grian saw the HA literally commit an injustice in front of him and said “yeah thats okay, its the HA”? Although…

Something make him want to double shift as poultry man, right?

Zeph! Not allowed to say sorry anymore its fine!!! I like the rambles in any length

And dude I definitely forgot about the doodle LMAO so no pressure on them, take your time!

#zeph #gihasm

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asoiaf-essays-collector · 8 months

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I saw how many Sansa antis hopped on your girl in grey post, so I wanted to drop in and say how much I enjoyed reading it even if others yell at you in a futile effort to convince themselves it won’t happen. 😆 I recognized those bloggers and they’re notorious Sansa haters who look for new victims, so don’t take any of their criticisms personally. Blocking makes the tumblr experience so much nicer and is often necessary as a Sansa fan.

Your art is gorgeous btw! 💛

Hi, anon!

It's been a while... sorry for answering several months later.

I was done with tumblr for a while actually. When I got all those responses for that post I found out that, unfortunately, I'm one of those snowflakes who can't handle negative comments on the Internet very well. For a little while I got kinda paranoid about it - those reblogs made me feel very stupid even though I knew that most of their "takes" are just a huge pile of bullshit. And I just don't take feeling stupid well enough (thanks to my classmates for this trauma).

(I can see where I could be wrong in my take depending on the future books. I felt kinda in the wrong in the start but I stopped paying much attention to those reblogs after I saw the words "Sansa is classist and sexist"🙃 and a bunch of other antisansa shit. It still kinda hurt though. I even stopped my asoiaf reread because I couldn't concentrate on books, it kept reminding me of all the hate.)

The whole situation made me feel sick of the Internet culture where you can shit on a person all you want even though all they did is writing their theories and opinions. (Like really, even though I've seen a tremendous load of posts I don't agree with - I've never shitted on people like that in reblogs or fought in comment section, I just don't understand it). And unfortunately, Tumblr is epitomy of this unhealthy and toxic culture.

In addition, just at that time (literally the same day) my life got an unexpected turn so even though I got over that thing my hands were still full with all the life stuff and my tumblr routine was long gone.

Long story short, in a few days I'm moving to another city and starting a whole new chapter in my life all because that one day I saw all the negativity I got and thought "well, my day can't get any worse".

I've seen your ask much earlier though - and I've felt so much better about the whole situation. I think I was able to get over this all thanks to you.

Thank you so much for your support💛. I used to think that if at least one person likes the thing I wrote - it was worth it. Apparently I forgot about my own belief for quite some time. Thank you for reminding me that.

I think when I'm done with moving I'll post another art.

Lesson learned though. Never will I ever tag any other character in my posts.

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petewentzisblack1312 · 2 years

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I just went through the worst manic phase of my life (like I’ve never been actually manic like that i mainly experience hypomania which I’ve enjoyed as a respite from the depressive episodes and the ways to get shit done) but this shit was terrible, like to the point that my coworkers noticed and were concerned and my mom would not get in a car with me driving (and my mom with no psych background at all described me as manic). Like I could not get shit done or focus and I was so irritable and hyperactive and I could not keep still and I could not get my brain to stop moving and I could not sleep without ambien (which idk if it’s making me worse I have to meet with my doctor)

But anyway I never understood MANIA better than now like Pete fucking Did That like that album is a manic episode. Especially young and menace like the “we’ve gone way too fast for way too long” and the “I forgot what I was losing my mind about” and also Stay Frosty with “even at the best of times I’m out of my mind” and sunshine riptide with “I don’t even have my own attention” like this shit was my lifeline this week. I have since dropped down hard into a depressive phase so that’s when I turn to MCR but fuck like Pete really did just put mania into words in a way that not a lot of artists have (only other that comes to mind is Halsey). I think mania is so hard to write about because 1) it’s not something many people experience and 2) it’s really just so hard to describe and make art about that people would want to listen to you know? Even young and menace like it’s purposefully hard to listen to I feel like because a manic phase is hard to be in and like my brain felt like that chopped chorus the entire time I was manic and somehow that felt soothing to listen to at the time lol

I also really like the way you’ve analyzed it how the love songs are love songs to the mania like half the reason I’ve never really talked to my doctor about it is because I don’t want to lose the manic episodes but I’ve felt like I’ve been losing my mind recently cause I keep oscillating back and forth so. It’s time.

But yeah MANIA is so good and I hate how people think it’s about him being happy now. Mania ≠ happiness and I feel like people aren’t really listening to the lyrics 🙃

im really sorry you went/are going through a manic episode. like i know it feels kinda amazing while youre in it sometimes but it also feels like the worst thing ever. its contradictory like that. im glad youre seeking help. even hypomania can be dangerous sometimes, even though it feels good to finally be productive and have energy after a depressive episode. i will say that the thing about being treated for bipolar disorder is that you dont just lose the mania, you lose the depression too. i mean you dont completely lose either, treating mental illnesses is more about management than curing them, but i find that while i dont have the severe high energy i can do anything and everything phases, i also dont have the severe physical inability to feel anything except numbness. it mostly made me more balanced and more in control.

that being said, yeah. MANIA is an album about mania and it shows. like, i still think the phrase sunshine riptide is the best description of a manic episode ive ever heard. i think another part of the reason people dont write about mania more is the very thing you said about how people think its about being happy. like people dont really truly understand what mania is. it doesnt sink in how little control you have. it takes self awareness to recognize that your feeling of euphoria is destroying your life, and i think theres so much emphasis on productivity and moving forward that people dont question how healthy (or unhealthy) mania truly is. part of the reason a lot of people who experience mania cling to it so much is the pressure from people and systems around them to be productive, so its no wonder that people fall in love with their mania, which is why i really like the interpretation of mania as a toxic lover. i cant lie, its intoxicating. when the alternative is frustrating inability, being struck with the desire to do everything you want to do feels fucking good. i think a lot of lyrics on MANIA reflect that (take all your possibilities and take away the limits). then theres lyrics that encapsulate the distractedness, the way "i dont even have my own attention" ("i was about to say something that would solve all our problems but then i got drunk and forgot what i was talking about." kind of marries these two points) and then theres the obsessiveness to your own detriments (ive got dreams of my own but i want to make yours come true). like its just a slideshow of a manic episode, and it does so so. i dont want to say elegantly, because just by the nature of the album and the way it explores its themes, its not at all elegant. but it does so effectively. perfectly.

anyway, im glad you like my analysis! i hope you feel better, and i hope you find the treatment thats best for you.

#dils declares #dils dissects #mania #anon i want you to know im rooting for you!!!

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meanderingthoughtsofthewretched · 1 month

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Back again.

Another night staying up way too late crying because am I’m trying to fall asleep my brain starts dredging up shit. I was done literally less than an hour ago, but now? Crying again and I know I won’t stop for a while unless I actively distract myself, so might as well type here.

I guess I’ll start with the big one. I was not accepted into grad school. Again. For the *third fucking year in a row*. When I first got the news I was sad, sure, but more than that I was just pissed. I tried *so fucking hard* because *no one* was helping me. I don’t know what people want, what they expect, and I’m just flailing around in the dark.

Yeah, I know the first year was my bad. In my defense, I had not clue what I was doing. I spent wayyyyy too long studying for the stupid fuckjng GRE (why the shit do they have math that I haven’t seen since 7th grade????) and not near enough time on the statement of purpose, cv, or resume. But also in my defense, I didn’t know what schools I was trying to apply for because I was *literally* told certain ones I was not allowed to go to (which I bet my dad conveniently forgot he did) and then the ones I found I was told sucked ass. By the time I was told this (because of course no one fucking told me on their own, I had to fuck up first) it was too late to apply for any of the good ones. Yes, I was someone picky, but god forbid the tiny short ass 100 pound soaking wet sheltered kid not want to go across country **by herself** with *no drivers license or car* and no experience living in an apartment. So I applied to where I could and crossed my fingers.

Obviously, that didn’t work out. Year two, I tried to go for one school only, that way I could tailor my letter better. I thought I did good, but the panic attacks I got any time o tried to work on it made it take too long, and one of my profs didn’t get their letter of recommendation in on time, this I was auto denied. Which sucks, but I understood why.

So try again! Except, the time when I could have been connecting with profs, and writing, I had to spend relearning how to drive and then actually taking the damn test. Fuck, I hated that entire experience. I was constantly anxious and panicked, crying myself to sleep most nights and struggling to hold it together in front of my parents, who were acting like it was the easiest thing in the world to do and didn’t understand why I was struggling. I had to redo everything because wow! Paperwork can expire! And when I last did all of this *two fucking years earlier* they didn’t help me, and left me to flounder. I don’t know why they thought I could magically learn how to drive a car without *being in one* but I guess it didn’t matter that much to them until it was an inconvenience and actually affected them.

Anyways, this year I don’t know why I didn’t get it. I can only guess. Was it because I only had one bio prof, and the other two were other branches? (Earlier prof who got in late decided she just… didn’t want to, and made it my problem because she also took almost a month to answer me, requiring me to find a prof that was willing to write on an incredibly short notice.) Was it because it was turned in close to the deadline? If so, why have the deadline there??? It makes no sense. And I hate that it is during winter break, because if something goes wrong you have to work your ass off to get anyone to answer you about stuff. I also couldn’t show that I was upset, or worried, because that might have made my lil sister upsetti about going back for another semester 🙃

Every single. Fucking. Time I have any problems, someone else has it worse so I have to bite my tongue to not make it worse *for them*. Especially the bean. Jesus I hate that I’m here essentially as an emotional support sister, because my parents were tired of her losing her shit at the smallest things.

And yet!!! She has her life together!! Holy fuck! She’s got a car that she likes that she is confortable driving, a boyfriend who is willing to come see her at the drop of a hat, friends who she regularly sees and hangs out with and are willing to take her places, gaming consoles that are just hers, and a place to stay that is away from parents and where she feels she can be herself. She’s got a job and an internship *paid*, like **well paid** coming up that will likely lead her to other jobs, profs that like her and have said they are willing to write her recommendations, and it’s all been handed to her on a fucking platter.

I was not allowed to learn how to drive until now, much less have a car. No significant other to see or hang with. Friends are far away and don’t bother initiating contact (I have a whole rant saved for later about that). I’ve literally never had my own console to play on, they have all been shared and eventually taken away by my siblings, much less the tv and projector she has. I feel trapped here, and watched. I was literally not allowed to have a job and now can’t do anything because the walkable things are for students only and *I don’t have a fucking car*. One of my profs straight up said she doesn’t want to bother writing for me anymore because I’m not worth it. Basically any opportunity in college was squashed thanks to COVID and me not taking a year off when I should have. And now all opportunities are limited to students so I can’t even get any more experience to try and because a student to actually move on in life. And I just??? What the fuck am I supposed to do??? All I can do is cry.

I haven’t told my dad yet, I have no idea how he will take it. He will probably get mad.

My mum actually had the gall to ask me if I actually want to get a masters. I told her yes, but in reality?? How the fuck should I know??? I was never allowed to have a damn opinion about things involving my life, why start now?? She was the one who decided my life path, hell she tried to decide that for all my siblings, and I was the only one who didn’t say no. So, no, I don’t know if I actually want this, I don’t know what I want to do at all, this is her dream. Be been so damn depressed for so long, all I want is to have a stable life.

All I want is somewhere to live with people I choose, who I don’t feel obligated to take care of, a stable job that pays decently so I can occasionally get things I like, and isn’t soul crushing, a car that gets me places safely, and the ability to breathe without being constantly stressed out.

Is that really so much to ask???

I’ll do the friend rant later, but I’m. Too tired. It took over an hour to write this and it’s just ramble at this point.

Fuck

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ne-cropolis · 1 year

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Long ramble about dog grooming because i got very flustered at work, am still freaking out about it, and need to vent it 🙃

I got a massive tip today from a client with a dobie puppy and im so worried these people didnt actually mean to do it . This puppy came in for his first ever grooming session and he had some kind of dry skin issue that only really showed up after he was brushed. I didnt blow dry him since it was his first experience, and thats usually when i see the extent of most skin issues since the force dryer reveals everything hidden by fur, not to mention itll blow away a majority of skin flakes if the dog has bad dandruff (which this puppy had, i also didnt get to check him in so i didnt get to ask details about him) Im frustrated i didnt get to be as educational as i could have been for his owners. I got so scattered and couldnt get the words out about some solutions they could try alongside talking to their vet, and i would have had them come back for a special bath in a shampoo that specifically helps dry/generally problematic skin to rule out a reaction to the soap i used (which was hypoallergenic and should not cause a reaction, but maybe???) but i completely forgot everything.

I got super flustured because there was a miscommunication about the tip (we dont check people out, the cashiers on the retail floor do it) and they almost gave me $260, which is, absolutely not what they intended. I talked to the cashiers and they went to take care of it with one of the parents while i was with the other one trying to see if i could do anything more for him by trying to blow his coat a little (which, i couldnt actually do because i had to use the lowest setting without a nozzel so it didnt scare the shit out of him, and even that was pushing it close to his threshold) Ultimately, theres not a lot i can do for dry skin without being able to deep scrub, condition, and force dry their coats fully, which is nearly impossible for a puppys first groom without traumatizing them. I got him back to his parents and they seemed happy about everything, im just still upset i couldnt do better for the particular situation, especially because the people were amazing. Just them bringing their doberman puppy in to be groomed makes me love them and want to do everything possible to make it a good experience for them and the pup, but i feel like that didnt happen and im so confused why they still left a massive tip, and if they actually meant to do it.

Most of it is that im super flustered by them still giving me $100 tip, which has never happened in my 4 years of grooming working on massive, hairy, stubborn dogs; the biggest ive ever gotten was $40 from a lady who i was already undercharging for the work her akita was.

I just hope they bring him in again so i can talk to them more thoroughly and maybe help his skin more now that hes been introduced to everything and i could maybe do a better job. Im still really bothered by it because what if they didnt intend to leave that much money and it becomes an issue for them? They already did get it fixed from 260 to 100, and the cashier promised me he asked them for confirmation several times but like...asdfkjshbfkchsbsjfksbfkf im happy to take huge tips but i worry for my clients financial situations and if i dont feel like i did a good job taking a tip makes me feel ashamed, so im still freaking out about how everything went down.

Thank you and sorry to anyone who read this lol, i really just needed to type it out so i could stop losing my mind thinking about it.

Edit: im also wondering after the fact if the laundry detergent the salon uses caused a reaction, its not the usual scentless, hypo soap so that very well could have caused it when drying him with the towel, but i dont know 😩

#probably delete later #im still so worried about it and i want to know if the pup got more itchy after getting home or if what i did helped #im being whiny blah #personal #woes of dog grooming

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bluehourbucky · 2 years

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It's the thought that counts

pairing: chubbybaker!bucky x reader

summary: making breakfast goes wrong

tw: talks of food other than that nothing (if you dont count horrible cringey writting)

~ gender neutral reader and no description of the reader ~

a/n: this is only my second time writting so i hope this goes well. also my love for chubby!bucky was ignited by none other than @ofstarsandvibranium (prev. as propertyofpoeandbucky) their fics just always made me smile so i wanted to try it out myself tho my bucky won't ever be as awesome as theirs but oh well. sorry if this is something a lot of people have done or if u seen another one of these i got inspired by me being dumb the other day 🙃

my first writting for @babyboibucky 's challange Comfort Crowd

MAIN MASTERLIST

Sunday wasn't always your favorite day but ever since you started dating Bucky, every sunday suddenly was like a christmas morning.

Bucky is not an ordinary man, he is in your opinion the best man that ever existed. Not only is he stupidly handsome he is also the biggest sweetheart, never had you met anyone like him.

Along with that he was also a baker and how else do you win someone over but with incredible sweets.

Being a baker and all he usually woke up early and was the first one to get up even on weekends, so naturally he would make breakfast for both of you every sunday. That's what made sundays so special; breakfast with Bucky made by Bucky with his amazing skills.

However today you wanted to surprise him so you turned on the alarm to wake up earlier to prepare breakfast;

There were two problems about this one: you don't even know how to cook and two: how do you leave the warmth of your bed provided by Bucky of course.

You had no idea how he managed to get up every morning as you somehow always manage to sleep a top of his big soft and most important of all warm body.

Right now though you are spooning,(you as the little spoon) he has his hands wrapped around you and his head is just a bit above yours, you feel his soft breath on top of your head. With how comfortable and happy you felt you snuggled deeper into him debating if getting up was even worth it.

After you finally decided that suprsing Bucky is worth getting up for you wiggle out of his grasp as quietly as you can.

Taking the phone from the nightstand you make your way into the kitchen. Alpine was of course on her feet as soon as she heard someone in the kitchen so now you had company.

So what could you make that's simple and doesn't require any knowledge- you of course google it and it seems like eggs are the most popular easy breakfast. Although that's what google says you decide to actually make pancakes since Bucky likes his breakfast sweet.

Luckyly for you Bucky had the same idea and there was a pancake mix prepared you should just cook them- should be easy enough...

You turn on the stove put some oil on the pan and put it on the stove. First few pancakes kind of stick and look burned even Alpine walked away when she saw it wasn't edible.

After a while the pancakes started to look well like pancakes.

At one point you realized you forgot to go to the bathroom when you woke up so you had to pee.

It won't take long you thought as you made your way to the bathroom leaving behind the pancakes.

---

Bucky smelled smoke? Buckys eyes jerked open when he realized he actually did smell smoke from somewhere in the house. He quickly got up and ran to the kitchen and at that moment the fire alarm went off.

Bucky was looking at a flame and his first thought was where were you, he needed to get you out of here. Right then you ran in and he hugged you thightly whisppering how glad he was you were okay.

" Oh my god I'm so sorry Bucky I trie-" Bucky shushed you and pulled you out of the kitchen taking Alpine with him too.

Once you were out of the building with bunch of other people from the complex you looked up at Bucky.

"You okay honey?" Bucky asked you with such a soft voice that you could almost melt.

"I'm fine sorry I scared you. Are you okay?" you asked with concern to which he replied with a nod and a peck to your forehead.

Not long has passed and the firemen came and took care of the fire, told you not much was burned just the stove and few cabinets but other than that your place was fine, which you were thankful for.

"So what the fireman said the cloth catching in fire is it true?" Bucky asked teasingly with raised brow.

You blushed under his gaze.

"Uh maybe?" He let out a chuckle at your answer that sounder more like a question.

"What were you doing in the kitchen you know it's off limits right?"

"I'm sorry I just wanted to surprise you with breakfast since you always make breakfast and then I had to pee and well we're here now." you sighed sadly.

"Honey; It's okay it was an accident and thank you for that, you know what they say it's the thought that counts. What you should be apologising for is the fact you're standing in the middle of the street only in my shirt showing off those pretty legs." He smirks and checks you out first and then people around to see if they're looking over.

"To be fair you got no reason to be jelaous of I did almost burn down a whole building for you."

"That is true, however now I can't make breakfast so we have to eat out but not before you put some clothes on. I am getting hungry what about you?"

Before you could answer Alpine mews in agrement and you both laugh.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fic #bucky imagine #chubby bucky #the winter solider x reader

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lovecolibri · 3 years

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Michael's relationships with Alex and Maria have quite a lot of parallels, except Alex had better reasons even if it still sucks and Maria did it all speedrun style. Nice fun connection, drama at the start, they can't decide if they want to have him or push him away, insulting him, a bit of making the relationship about sex, deciding they want to be friends after telling him it's over. But! Alex has realised that's all not good, so part of me wants someone to just lay this all out in front of these two, the parallels, and have Alex be like, how dare you! You were supposed to do better than me, not be worse faster! Or something, just love Alex defending Michael. Thoughts?

There are a lot of parallels but the important thing to remember, that a lot of fans and C*rina in particular liked to forget, is that we have seen Alex’s backstory and trauma history with Michael. We know his motivation for what he does, even when it’s a shitty thing to do. Same with Michael. We see them trade these barbs and talk past each other, and both at different points trying so hard and ultimately being misunderstood. I don’t think the want to, or enjoy hurting each other, but trauma ruts can be hard to get out of and seeing past your own trauma filter takes time and practice, and often some professional guidance. Both these boys hold responsibility for their own actions, but neither of them are to blame for the trauma they endured.

On the flip side, we have zero insight into what M*ria’s motivation is beyond the fact that her and Michael were drunk and sad and fucked in the desert and then she found out exactly who Michael was to Alex, and how Alex was feeling hopeful about him, and she decided that now, after all these years, and the continued insults into his character, presentation, and smell, that she just has to have him. But only when she wants, in a way that is convenient for her, and only when he is performing in the way she approves of, but he is also in no way allowed to meet her mother because they are just on a “trial basis” and she doesn’t have to be exclusive, but he does.

Yes there are some parallels, but the situation and backstory for all the characters involved matter to the context of the story (as I said in this post).

We have seen Alex constantly defending Michael literally any time someone has something to say about him (now say it to his face, ya big dumb), so it would have been narratively satisfying to see Alex being allowed to have an opinion on that, but of course, M*ria didn’t do anything wrong so why would he? 🙃🙃🙃 I would actually like it if some things like this from season 2 were addressed but I’m sure the writers would rather sweep it all under the rug as, short of labeling the whole season a dream, some things are pretty unsalvageable, and after such a long hiatus they’re probably hoping most people forgot a lot of this stuff.

But not me. The Salt Gremlin always remembers.

#my sweet nonnie friends #roswell nm #anti maria deluca #anti miluca #alex manes #michael guerin #malex #i am so happy every day that c*rina is no longer allowed to be involved

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ornithia · 3 years

Text

lol thanks for the heads up, didn't know i'd been mentioned due to being blocked (and here i was convinced she wanted nothing to do with me ever again 🙃 guess that doesn't matter when you're in desperate need of a shield to hide behind, does it )

also no need for incognito mode, tumblr is incompetent enough that all i have to do is just visit her page directly on desktop so here we go:

(under a read more bc petty shit only tangentially related to hazbin at this point and frankly, the entire situation is stupid and EVERYONE involved is an idiot, no exception, INCLUDING me bc i shouldn't even be indulging but i'll do it for you, anon -)

lmao almost forgot how long-winded her responses are, right up there with starlatte27 (who also blocked me, in case anyone's keeping tally), jfc

i ... are these statements meant to go together or are they separate? bc if 1) i don't appreciate it, and if 2) did you you just assume my gender and call me a skeevy adult turbo nerd? bc last i checked you're the skeevy one dragging people's sex lives, non-existent or otherwise, into fandom discussions while you quote and reference fucking cartoons like a "turbo" nerd. maybe take your own advice and stay the fuck out of fandom in general (also, that's not a pun, not even a bad one. seriously - a pun has to make sense, and it doesn't make sense for a virgin to have a "fuck life" if they've never had sex, what do you think a virgin is? do you need to go back to sex ed?)

but seriously - shaming people for their lack of sexual experience ... that's kind of inherently acephobic, isn't it? not to mention heteronormative and, in her own words, rather "vanilla" on the scale of petty insults (but don't quote me after all i'm just an asexual what would i know about anything i've only existed 3 whole years longer than her "experienced" authority has on this godforsaken planet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

oh look, more acephobic rhetoric - this is literally the shit that gets said to our faces the second we express disinterest in partners or popping out children, certainly not a sexual threat, not at all!

also, dunking on people for inconsistent grammar/small typos when she incorrectly typed my username in the post itself ... even though she tagged it correctly and it's literally on her blog and in her blocklist (inb4 she threatens to run me over with her chair or w/e 🙄)

speaking of spelling (and in case she or any of the others are reading this) let me spell it out - this is about the HYPOCRISIES involved, which if any of you have any reading comprehension you'll realise as you continue skimming this post

if you have to CONSTANTLY bring up your race or disability or other people into the conversation just so that you can assert your "authority" on a subject, then i'm sorry but you literally don't know your subject. oppression olympics does not work, actively attempting to "other" yourself just to seem credible in a topic is a sign of desperation and shows a lack of empathy for understanding in others. what you should be doing is aiming to educate, NOT to win as many internet/diversity points as you can possibly cram into a fucking clown show debate about headcanons on fictional characters who are dead and aren't even human anymore

(switching to paragraph form bc this is a longer response):

when it comes to jumping to conclusions ...

- whether it be on someone's "vanilla" tastes (@heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon don't think i forgot how you judged me for liking transformers when it is neither my sole interest nor did it have nothing to do with the conversation ... and which if you actually knew anything about you'd REALISE how progressive the continuity is, tackling all sorts of "vanilla" stories and characters including gay, bi, lesbian, pan, poly, trans, ace, aro, xeno, dysphoria, mental AND physical disability, depression, coping, aging, death, oppression, politics, colonialism, and revolution, amongst others. not to mention all of the kink, since THAT seems to be your fucking basis for judgement) -

- OR someone's medical history/ethnic background (@petitprincess1 no one deserves hate anons but you also brought this on yourself for doubling-down on LITERALLY sensitive topics that ANYONE would lash out for. and as i've already explained to you, i don't CARE if 6 is a poc or not, white-passing or not, italian or not - you do NOT get to pass judgement on them or ANYONE based on mere pictures. humans are a diverse spectrum - someone tells you they're sicilian, black, albino, have vitiligo, are a natural redhead, etc - what the fuck ever, you take it at face value and MOVE ON or agree to disagree)

just - it is NEVER a good idea to be presumptuous. you don't EVER know what's fully going on in someone's life, you are NEVER going to get the full picture, and even so, experiences can and ARE subject to other factors in an individual's life. contrary to what tumblr and twitter will have you believe, NO ONE owes you a biography

(another paragraph bc why not)

while i'm addressing petit, btw - since you seem conveniently knowledgeable on laws concerning regulations surrounding sex workers and pimps (and it is DEFINITELY illegal - except in nevada. which we should address on the basis of transparency), it seems surprising to me that you wouldn't care about laws surrounding the distribution of pictures:

source: https://law.stackexchange.com/questions/30765/is-it-illegal-to-post-a-picture-of-someone-without-their-permission

basically, if someone asks you to take their picture down YOU TAKE IT DOWN who cares if they have it public on their own blog YOU TAKE IT DOWN BC THAT IS THEIR PICTURE it doesn't MATTER if it's edited or blurred out or whatever. this should be apparent, there's a REASON you have to sign consent forms in order to release photographs of private individuals, there's a REASON people have a problem with paparazzi. because it's an invasion of PRIVACY and AGENCY.

someone in public, doing public things, staged or otherwise, or posting to their OWN social media? whatever.

someone in private, whether it be incriminating nudes or something as innocent as spending time with their loved ones (children, spouses, friends, w/e) in an intimate setting? NOT OKAY

if you wanted so badly to use 6's pics as evidence in your debate and if they were so publicly available, why didn't you just link to them? it's so easy, tumblr even has an option to format text into a hyperlink without needing to know code, [look i used it to literally link to a fair use image of public figue, current US president joe biden with his wife, first lady jill biden], or look, [here's another link, this time with the picture in its original context], how easy was that!

(back to bullets and to the disaster that is hearts):

i think it's fucking hilarious that you claimed i was vagueblogging about you, bc no - i was literally responding to your post, addressing the situation directly to you AND petit. and regardless of who i was addressing in each response, the fact remains that so long as it was on YOUR post, YOU would receive notifications, and that as a result YOU would inherently be a part of the conversation. this isn't some new tumblr feature it's been around for a WHILE now. and if you feel i "vagued" about you after you BLOCKED ME, think again - i tagged you, both with a nonfunctioning @ AND by tagging your #username on my blog. i WANTED you to see and be aware of my post. YOU on the other hand have been vagueblogging about ME, calling me that "other" person and using me both to shield yourself AND as an offensive tool in your little "debate" with petit - which honestly fuck you, LITERALLY as bad as starlatte27 who did the same thing in addition to misquoting after she blocked me.

also, petit is right - you are a fucking simp. you do nothing but drool over trickster in your tags. and then you dare? to reblog his post where he quotes me, the person YOU vilified, and use it to suck up to him? you disgust me, ESPECIALLY in light of your stance on "virgins" - you do realise he's also (grey) asexual, right? regardless of whether he's virgin or not - which if he is, STILL wouldn't invalidate his identity, and that the post in question was me specifically calling out starlatte27 on her acephobia. also, lol - how convenient that you seem to shit on everyone for being "ableist" when they cite mental disorders that couldn't POSSIBLY compare to you being in a wheelchair, yet you have nothing against his NPD or OCD (per his carrd, fyi, which i am reading specifically bc it's there and because i do my research before jumping to conclusions unlike you)

speaking of trickster - idgaf about him and 6. at this point i've heard NOTHING from either of them in weeks. then again, i neither follow them nor do they seem to flood the tags with drama as often as petit (or starlatte27, before she blocked me, and i only know about hearts now bc of you, anon, so thanks for that 👍 - hell, let's throw me into the mix since that's what i'm about to do that/doing it now) and i KNOW i'm not blocked since i can still view both their blogs on mobile if i visit them directly. it was certainly stupid of them to bait the main tag with the initial post that started this whole mess, but if petit hadn't thrown her (black) race card down for an argument about sicilian italians and albinism, not black people, we wouldn't have gotten this far. (also it seems one of them or a friend has started a hateblog for "receipts" which lmao, not only was that a stupid endeavor, it looks dead)

SPEAKING of race, just because being "black" is an objective fact about someone (petit) it does not give you (hearts) the right to do ... [this, which honestly i just capped below for anyone else reading this bc you'll spend all day looking for it] (tw: literally racism in the form of caricature):

(also lmao, demanding pictures from internet strangers? that's the same bullshit you've all been accusing petit of doing - she ABSOLUTELY distributed pictures without consent (reblogs count), which i already addressed, but it is NOT the same as soliciting pictures, that's on YOU and you alone)

there's so much more ... i could go on for DAYS but i'll cap it here bc why argue with idiots? you know who you are, you know what you did. this was entertaining at first but honestly i'm done, fuck this

ps: 😂 so much for hearts bitching about having to go through starlatte27's "sore Pastel Blog" (cap below), does she even realise what an eyesore her walls of "angry" and irrelevant text/tags are? it's like it it physically hurts them to just get to the fucking point:

#discourse #hazbin hotel #heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon #petitprincess1 #ask #anonymous

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winetae · 2 years

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MY ANGEL HELLO!! 💞💞!! Omg no need to be sorry at all and i hope things have gotten better for you!! And if not then I hope you can do little things that make you happy bc you deserve it!! KCKCKVKV March has been a very weird month…but I do think it’s bc it’s been literally two years in this pandemic cjcjcjcj but all the more reason to take care of ourselves in this time!!

AHHH watching figure skating felt like a horrible rollercoaster that was only going down for a long time!! but same i got so happy for sui and Han!! And omg the woman’s individuals were so hard to watch and literally the scores were so hard to watch!! I HATE THE ISU!! And yes we love yuzu in this house!! Honestly, I’m so tired of these jumps getting over scored when I feel like the most beautiful skating we get is when the artistry gets to shine!! But anyway thank you for your posts, it felt like I had a buddy living through that hell with me!!

Hehe my favorite flavors are the sugar ones!! I tried a taro and mango sugar one last week and it was so good!! Do you have a favorite?? OMG yesss taeyeon always has such good albums and i honestly have that album on repeat!! Omg listen none of your writing is trash and that’s so cute and awesome that you got inspired!! and i get emo over music and yoongi too JCKCKCJCJC!! Omg I totally forgot to listen to apinks album but I did enjoy their title so I’ll have to report back!!

Ooh I’ve never seen kingdom so I will have to try it out!! AND OMG!!! I’m watching 25, 21 too!!! Kim taeri is so cute and I love the cast!! It’s such a lovely coming of age drama!! DKFKCMCMCN I SNORTED OMG, listen somehow nam joohyuk gets us all…i remember that i literally stopped in the middle of the first episode of bride of the water god bc I couldn’t take it and now look at me KXKXCNCK

I missed you angel!! I hope you’re doing well and I’m sending all the good luck you’re way!! And all the hugs and kisses!! I hope you have a lovely weekend and can drink some wine and have some desserts!! 💗💖💞 also I’m so excited to experience another rv comeback with u!! Please expect me to come screaming into your inbox!!

HI BB I MISSED U 🥺🤍 aw thank u so much i’m definitely going to try to take better care of myself 🤧🤍🤍🤍 i hope you’ve been doing well, drinking ur water + getting all the rest u deserve !!!! march was a weird month 🙃 i’m finally getting my life together slowly but surely so i take that as a good sign !

omg figure skating… getting them war flashbacks as i type 🤕 it’s so fascinating to see we share the same interests tho !!!! sag twin indeed !!!! i agree w what u said about artistry >> my only exception is sasha trusova for some reason idgaf about artistry when she skates i love my unhinged jump champion 🥲

ooooo ive never tried those flavors before 🧐 i really need to try more to have a fave ;; n YAY A TAEYEON FAN ! she has the best albums for real… what are ur fave songs??? ok maybe i will post the yoongi drabble just for u ! n dj ddjwjsk i still haven’t listened to apink 😭 pls tell me if it’s worth it or not

yes i love kingdom !! 🥺 n omg i actually haven’t watched anything after ep 8 if 2521 the reviews and comments about the rest scare me 😭😭😭 it was really cute up to that point tho but i don’t want the drama to disappoint me ;;;; DONT MENTION BRIDE OF THE WATER GOD it’s a cursed drama omg it was so bad i couldn’t finish ep1 either

MISS U TOO ALWAYS ! ur comments n messages are a big positive part of this blog 🤍 ily i wish only good things for u !!!! i def had all the wine i could have (+ desserts) n i hope u also treated urself to some nice things hehe ! i will answer ur rv ask in a separate ask bc idk how to combine it on mobile ! 😚

#💌🕊#lonelyending 🦋

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rosyandraw · 2 years

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I want to get my nips pirce buut I will cry if something happen to my lovely boobas soo I feel you my love! Hahaha

Hi! Your Berry anon 🍒 here reporting to work aka annoying you with my silly long asks 🖤 First! Oh Lord how rude of me 🥺 last time I forgot to say how glad I am that you are doing... (Better?) Missed you 💫 Second! I think I'm getting too confortable around you and thats why I'm so sorry Haha I feel like I start writing this asks very "formal and polite" and now its a mess.

I had a crazy month and I couldn't do my rewatch with you 😢😢😪😪 but I do have a big question!! I know its suppossed to be D/s undertones... yet 🙃

What its Damen biggest Dom moment or trait for/with Laurent? Idk am I making any sense... ?? If not just ignore me 😝

Ps: knowing that you actually do bdsm and how good of a writer you are 🥵 not gonna lie! I would kill for a fic with Damen and Laurent metting in some club/munch whatever and getting to know each other 🥰

Ps2: how are my babys Ancel and Berenger doing? I bet Berry just told Ancel "I won't fuck you" 😑 just so future Ancel can go "I thought you said you wouldn't fuck me Sir" 😌

Kisses kisses your Berry anon 🍒

Lmao I have mine pierced and it was fine! Would recommend 😂

Hey! Noooo I 💕LOVE💕Your asks haha! Thanks lovely, missed you too! LMAO we love the too comfortable thing, its more fun that way

Ah that’s okay lovely, hope your month has been okay despite being hectic!

LMAO

I said undertones because it’s really like,... pre-kink, or rather the potential for the exploration of that kind of relationship is there between them. Damen is comfortable taking control sexually, but he also doesn’t demand or push for any kind of submission I think for me maybe the scene when Laurent is struggling to write his paper for university.

Non-sexual domination or casual obedience/domination is my favourite, so I think I wanted something that could be built on but that wasn’t overt. So it could look innocuous or innocent if you didn’t want to read into it. But the development of it would be taking it a step further... if that makes sense? Like, how rules might look/develop between them.

I tried to write Damen the way I see him in Canon really- he's giving, enjoys his partners pleasure, a caretaker, not afraid to take control, confident, physically attuned to his own body and his partners… things that make a really good Dom tbh haha.

But you’re probably better positioned than I am to tell me whether that comes across 😂😂... and there is more to come yet obviously (eventually!!)

Omg thank you so much 😭 but YES! I really want to write that; I am half working on one similar where Laurent is new to it all and looking for a way to heal and he’s a bit of a mess. And then he meets Damen through Ancel who he knows from the community.

Also working on a swinger’s party fic but that will probably never see the light of day lmao

Omg 100% that is what Ancel would say to Berenger for sure. Forever smug about it as well lmao we stan a petty king.

Thanks as always lovely 💕

#berry anon #love your messages huni I hope you're having a great week #asks

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