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#for a college that pretends soooo hard to care about their students... not once did I feel cared for there
satanfemme · 2 years
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I'm sure there's better schools out there, but I've attended about 4 different art schools (1 high school, 3 college) and all of them had a focus not on "how to make art" but on "how to be an artist". it wasn't a hobby it was a lifestyle. how to market your art, how to market yourself, how to make the art that industry professionals will want to see; the colleges, the employers, the professors. how to make bigger art, more art, quality and quantity all at once. and, because of the limits of time: how to skip sleep, how to skip meals, how to skip socializing, how to isolate yourself in your room all weekend doing nothing but making something for someone else.
these are all major elements in their curriculums, if not in some schools even more of a focus than the art itself.
from a capitalist's viewpoint this makes sense. if you're going to art school intending to get an art job, you're gonna need good job skills. you're gonna need to know things like how to sell yourself on all the major social media profiles and then some, both small scale for commission work and large scale for your jobs at major corporations. (you will, of course, most likely be doing both. neither job pays enough by itself). you're gonna need to know how to "grind", nonstop, you're gonna need to know how to grin and bare it. you're going to need to know how to mass produce schlock cause that's what a job is, and that's what you've signed up for. this is all logical.
but if you take a step back from that lens, it all falls apart. most of these students are still kids or young adults in their early 20s (which isn't much more than a kid, let's be real). so, a kid enjoys art for the love and joy of creation, a kid enjoys art because humans enjoy art, they want to make things for themselves, for their friends, to relax, to feel good - so they're coerced into an art institution.
And I can 100% guarantee you that ANY and ALL criticisms you have on the commodification of art on social media, absolutely applies to every single art institution I have ever been a part of, if not more so. Art institutions are not a safe haven away from capitalism, consumerism, and the domination of corporations - they fester it. They survive off it.
competition within the algorithm is brutal. competition instructed by your guardians, between yourself and your real life peers - as a child, teen, and young adult - is even worse. this is very literal competition by the way. I have, multiple times, had my art ranked in value against my peers. our art (if not our names) listed from worst to best.
the "you can sleep when you're dead" mentality is also very literal, I need you to understand. this is one of the things that haunts me the most. why does a child (as young as 14!!) need to sacrifice their health for creation - creation so forced it doesn't even have any passion or love attached anymore. you could say my teachers and professors didn't know what they were encouraging, but you'd be wrong. a student who sacrifices their health for art is more than applauded, directly for that fact. likewise a student who prioritizes their health, at the sacrifice of "better art", is called lazy ...at best.
I don't think people understand how hellish art schools are. I don't even think most art students themselves realize it amidst the plague of self-deprecating humor that spreads thru those buildings (which I've also seen encouraged by college professors). maybe some other schools are better. I don't know.
When I was still a child one of my classmates made a piece about how suicidal our art classes were making her. (they made everyone suicidal. this was known. there were surveys done about it, and nothing else). but, my teacher told her not to talk about that kind of stuff during crit, or he'd be forced to report it to the guidance office. although he wanted her to keep making this art (so personal, so meaningful, it was - by his standards - better than most our class's), he didn't want anything to be done about the suicidal tenancies of this child he was in charge of. he didn't want anything to be done about the art classed he helped plan and teach. he didn't want any solution to the problem, he just wanted her to keep making art about it.
I know this is long, and I've spoken about this before, but it feels important to understand. It's not just social media that's "ruining art". But it's not these art institutions either. you could reform this system as much as you'd like and I promise it'd do all but nothing for you. because these flaws, for how traumatizing, life changing - and to be frank: life ending - they are, they are not the root cause of this commodification. these institutions are the physical manifestation of capitalism. it's capitalism and the very lens in which we view art that's the problem here. maybe that's a grim note to end this rant on, when there's not much we can do about that on a personal level. or maybe there's better schools out there. I don't know.
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peachycoreroo · 3 years
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angel | kuroo tetsurou
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summary: the only thing that came to mind when you heard the word angel, was your crushes ex girlfriend. so what do you do when suddenly you’re the angel or how a book can bring two people together
pairing: college!kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader
genre: smut, a lotta plot tho, basically pwp
word count: 7.9k
warnings: dom!kuroo, fingering, oral fem! receiving, praise, both being extremly needy, it’s not really kinky, slight breeding kink tho, a few spanks, vaginal penetration
authors note: pls don’t even ask about the book thing, this entire thing is based of one of my dreams and i had no idea why the book appeared, but it did and i didn’t wanna leave it out soooo, ye<3 here’s a link to my masterlist
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you sighed, as you continued typing your essay. maybe coming to the coffee shop was not the best idea you had, since it was friday and apparently every college student on campus decided it was coffee time after their lecture, but you didn’t expect it to be so overflown with people.
sitting at the far back, you realized that you were not going to get any work done with how loud everyone around you was being, so you just sat back and observed the people around you, while drinking the cheap coffee you ordered earlier. observing and analyzing the behavior of those around you always came natural to you. some guy watching his girlfriend as she was deciding what to order, even though she was taking way too long, with love. a friend group of a few pretty girls walking past a table full of sexist pigs who thought the only way to get their attention was by whistling after them as if they were dogs.  and your crush looking at you.
wait.
huh?
quickly averting your eyes back to your laptop, you could feel your heart rate pick up to an unnatural speed. pretending to suddenly be terribly busy with drinking coffee, a million thoughts ran through your head. you were quite positive that you’ve seen his girlfriend sitting right next to him, so why was he staring so intensely at you?
it’s not as if you never talked. kuroo tetsurou was easily the most interesting person you have ever had the pleasure of having intellectual conversations with. you were taking some business classes in your third semester, since you thought they would be of value for your future. that’s where you met him. kuroo sat next to you since the first day of the lecture but you were way too intimidated by his attractiveness to start the first real conversation beyond greetings, so when the opportunity had arisen, you snatched it right away.
after one of the lectures, he left his phone on the desk and since he was already gone, you took it and hurried after him. just as he was leaving through the huge main doors of your university, you caught up to him and grabbed his arm. embarrassingly, not being the most athletic made you look like a creep as kuroo directed his confused stare at your form, hunched over, breathing hard but still latching onto his arm.
“uh, hi? y/n, right?”, the tall boys’ confusion lightly seeped into his questioning tone as his eyes moved between you and the hand you used to hold him back from walking further.
taking one last deep breath, you forced yourself to stand up right and look into his eyes, but oh, what mistake that was. funnily enough, you never actually looked directly into his eyes, so you didn’t expect to suddenly have to divert all your focus on trying to keep the gasp, you wanted to let out, in your throat. in your memories, from the milliseconds you had the courage to look into his eyes when he greeted you, his eyes were brown but all at once you were confronted with the most beautiful hazel eyes you have ever seen.
as a consequence of having to put all your mental capacity on not gasping out loud or even worse, admitting how attractive he was, the words that came out of your mouth only furthered your embarrassment.
“you. phone. lecture. forgot”, you stumbled over your words as if that were your first attempt at communicating.
feeling your already hot face burn brighter as tetsurous confusion further solidified on his handsome face, you only hoped he thought the running was responsible for you looking like a sweaty mess.
you forced yourself to let out a short laugh as you broke eye contact to gain back your composure. “sorry, I didn’t expect the running to get to me that bad. maybe lev is right, I should try some aerobics with him”, starting to mumble towards the end, you shook your head. “anyway, you forgot your phone on the table in our lecture just now. i didn’t want to hold onto it till thursday and didn’t know where else to find you, so i ran after you. m’ sorry if I kinda freaked you out”, you quickly added while holding out his phone to him.
as you never really talked to the tall man before, your head snapped up to look at him when you heard his deep chuckle. was there something that’s not attractive about this man?
taking the phone from your hands, you were finally able to experience the first full sentence kuroo tetsurou ever directed at you. “well, thanks. i definitely didn’t wanna be without a phone two whole days, so i appreciate you running after me with such determination”, he remarked, as he observed how out of breath you still were, grinning.
“oh god, you know, never doing anything nice for you ever again sounds good right about now”, you groaned, lifting a hand in front of your face to stop him from studying your slightly damp face.
nothing on this green-blue-brown floating rock in space that is also known as the earth, could have prepared you for what you were witnessing next. with your mouth slightly ajar, you looked at tetsurou as he leaned over, clutching his stomach, while letting out the funniest laugh you have ever heard in your life.
in your mind, you saw a quick flash of a scene from ‘the lion king’, in which one of the hyenas was laughing exactly like that. you briefly wondered whether kuroo was influenced by that scene as a kid before you couldn’t keep your laugh in anymore after the initial shock subdued.
“my apologies, the situation was just way too perfect for me to not tease you. i’d be honored if you’d grace me with your kindness again, my highness”, he slightly bowed while, once again, flashing you that sly smirk that made you wanna punch and make out with him at the same time.
you tried to match his energy as best as you could with your head jumbled from the proximity to the man you have been sitting next to every tuesday and thursday from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., but looking back at the interaction, you couldn’t wrap your head around tetsurou wanting to continue talking to you after that conversation.
“i’ll consider it, peasant.”
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after that, you and your smart seatmate talked a lot more. you found out that he was majoring in sports management and minoring in chemistry even though it was so different from management, just because he liked it. lev, your best friend at college since the first day when he didn’t see you from his 6’5” point of view and knocked you over as you were looking at the menu in the very coffee shop you were currently sitting in, turned out to be one of kuroo’s old friends from high school. which let you to find out the most unfortunate information about kuroo tetsurou thus far.
as you were walking to your next lecture with the dark-haired man, lev joined in with a tall, blonde, and gorgeous woman by his side. you immediately recognized alisa, lev’s sister. even though the silver-haired boy was ginormous, he couldn’t hold his liquor very well, which resulted in you having to drag the giraffe of a human home after a party quite a few times. there, you met alisa.
wanting to go in for a hug with the beautiful blonde, you froze at once as you tried to process what you were seeing. tetsurou had an arm wrapped around her petite waist, the other one placed on her sharp jaw, as he softly pecked her lips.
lev excitedly started telling you about a new side job he got as a model and while you supported him with your whole heart and were genuinely proud of him for landing that job, you could only zero in on the sight in front of you. your eyes hyper focused on the way his large hands were gently grabbing her waist, your ears on the soft ‘how was your day?’ and flirty ‘better, now that you’re here’ exchanged.
putting on your best poker face and directing your attention to the excited titan beside you, your own reaction startled you. even more surprising was who you were jealous of. you did have a small crush on alisa at the start, who wouldn’t? she’s tall, beautiful, fun, loving, caring, alas she was way too similar to lev to develop a full-on crush on her. then, it dawned on you, that the one you were jealous of, was not tetsurou, but in fact, alisa.
of course, you thought your seatmate was attractive from the first moment you saw him, but how you managed to develop a crush on him without even realizing it, was beyond you. ugly, jealous thoughts made their way into your head about one of the most loveable people you met. those disgusting thoughts slithered their hands around your throat, trying to suffocate you and so you buried that small crush in the back of your mind.
after that encounter you kept your distance to the handsome male. it was better for you, your sanity and everyone involved. in no way were you ever going to go between a loving relationship because of your own selfish feelings.
for crying out loud, you didn’t even know kuroo that well while alisa was like a sister to you. however, you weren’t able to tune out the insecure voices in your head. of course, he liked tall, model-like women who resembled angels not only physically but also with their personality. who were you to compare yourself to her? not even you yourself liked who you were, so why would one of the most attractive guys you ever saw?
you deserved someone good, but alisa deserved the world, so you just wished that tetsurou was the best for her.
and while kuroo tetsurou was a lot of things, he wasn’t ignorant, so when you decided to sit down in another seat in the lecture a few times or made up some excuses as to why he couldn’t walk with you to your next seminar, he knew something was wrong.
which brings you back to right now, with you staring at your laptop, hoping that the boy you’ve been trying to avoid wouldn’t come over to check on you. alas, your luck was apparently all spent, because you could see a tall, dark figure drop themselves on the bench in front of you.
“y/n.”
at the low tone of his voice calling your name, you lifted your gaze from your laptop to look at the boy you were trying to stay clear of.
“hmm? oh, hey tetsurou. didn’t see you there.” bullshit, he thought.
“yeah, ’m here with alisa. just a quick break before she has her next lecture.” while saying that, kuroo focused on your expression, trying to gauge your emotions and maybe get a hint on why you were actively keeping him at arm’s length.
after taking a swift look in the direction the happy couple was sitting just a few minutes ago, you nodded and kept your eyes on your coffee.
“that’s nice, you should probably go back now though. don’t want you to waste precious date time”, you said cheerfully, but weren’t able to keep out the slightly bitter tone out of your voice. that’s exactly why you were trying to stay away from him. the sight of the merry couple only fueled your toxic thoughts about two people you cherished and even though you wished for them to be happy together, the insecurities deep inside you wouldn’t let you.
seeing the slight change in your voice and expression, kuroo cocked his head to the side. did he say the wrong thing?
“she’s already leaving, so i decided to catch up with you for a bit.”
fantastic.
“well,” you remarked while closing your laptop and starting to pack your things, “I also need to get going, was nice seeing you though.”
“i’ll walk you”, was in fact not what you wanted to hear. but the universe hated you for some reason. you looked back at him and waved your hand dismissingly, trying to speedily think of a reason why he couldn’t accompany you: “uh, you see, i, uh... i’m visiting my parents this weekend, so i’ll just take the train. ’m not going back to the dorms.”
even if kuroo would have been stupid and oblivious, which he was not, your hurried attempt at getting rid of him just confirmed all his suspicions. but the ex-captain wasn’t going to let you run away from him so easily.
“no problem, i’ll walk you to the train station. the field i practice volleyball in with lev and a few others is nearby. ‘was gonna head there anyway, let’s go.” this time, he didn’t let you enough time to object, so you were stuck grabbing your things and following him, regardless of what you wanted.
to your surprise, kuroo didn’t say a thing on the way to the train station. you expected him to force you into a whole debate about whether pluto was a planet or not, but he just stayed silent. was that a bit of your luck shining through, or was he angry?
not wanting to push your luck any longer, you stayed silent as well, as you waited for your train at the designated platform. guess you had to make a surprise visit to your hometown because of your little lie, but maybe that was exactly what you needed. some time away to clear your head.
but just as you got excited for the spontaneous trip, kuroo finally dropped what has been on his mind the whole walk or rather, the whole three weeks you’ve been running away from him as if he was on fire and you couldn’t wait to get away from him as far as possible.
“y/n. why are you avoiding me?”, he questioned, looking at the rails ahead, instead of you.
“w-what? i’m not, why would you think that?”, you quickly sputtered out, hardly able to convince yourself of your own lies.
tetsurou gave you a look of complete skepticism, quickly shutting down your protests. “don’t play dumb with me, ’m not stupid. i know you’re not sitting down way further in the back or running out of the lecture on accident. you’re doing this on purpose. even just a moment ago you didn’t want me to escort you. tell me why.”
luckily, the train arrived just on time, so you quickly hoped on with a fleeting 'see you next week' and hoped he would just assume you didn’t quite catch what he said because of the train.
he didn’t though. he knew that you heard him.
the short spontaneous weekend trip turned into you staying for almost two whole weeks because of a cold, so your mom wouldn’t let you return without someone taking care of you, not knowing you had some big news waiting for you once you got back.
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“we broke up.”
wou were currently in the library after returning to campus, trying to catch up on some lectures you missed, when alisa entered. together, you were walking around the english literature section, catching up when she dropped the bomb.
“wait, what? how? when? why? huh? what did he do?”, you asked dumbfounded, feeling bad about your two friends, who were so clearly in love, breaking up. but even more than that, you could feel disgust creep up your spine because deep down you knew you were sickly happy about the fact that kuroo was now single. what a shit fucking friend you were.
“relax”, alisa chuckled. “he didn’t do anything, we just kinda came to the agreement that we don’t love each other the same anymore. i felt like he was always distracted the last weeks we were together, always deep in thought, and i decided to concentrate on my graduation and career as a model. it was a great college relationship and i still care for him, we just… we broke up about a week ago.”
“well, as long as you’re both happy with the decision”, you sighed while picking ‘pride and prejudice’ by jane austen from a bookshelf, not feeling like such a piece of shit for being lowkey happy about it anymore, but you still knew you two would never work. even if the breakup was mutually decided, tetsurou was still her ex.
hearing alisa giggle, you turned your gaze from the book in your hand and wondered: “huh? why are you laughing?” the tall blonde only grinned and continued her way down the aisle. completely confused, you followed her with the book still in hand.
“what the fuck? kinda acting sus not gonna lie.”
“wow, I thought you had better jokes than that y/n”, she teased, sitting down at a nearby table.
breathing out some air out of your nose in mock anger, you sat down beside her, tipping your non-existent fedora. “sorry i’m not up to your comedy standards, m’lady.”
alisa laughed loudly before noticing the book you were still holding, her laughter turning into a knowing grin. once again, you shot her a confused look: “what is it with you today? your mood swings are confusing the shit outta me.”
“you know, that’s like one of tetsu’s favorite books.”
“what? 'pride and prejudice'?”, you inquired, puzzled. why was she telling you this? “are you like, having some post-breakup nostalgia or?”
she laughed once again, waving her manicured hand dismissingly and shaking her head: “it just kinda popped into my head. i never read it, but he once wanted to read it to me. it did not end well; i couldn’t take it seriously and had to laugh the whole time. he just gave up and sulked for the rest of the evening.”
“yep, definitely pbn”. the girl shoved your shoulder slightly while snickering before taking out her laptop and working on something, leaving you alone with your conflicted thoughts.
as fate would have it, you didn’t really talk to kuroo for the last two weeks of lectures. finals were catching up and you had a lot of exams, leaving you with no time to catch up with the tall boy. plus, you were still trying to avoid him. you weren’t about to give into temptation and try your luck with alisa’s ex, which was much easier if said temptation didn’t walk around looking fine directly in front of you.
but with the weekend starting, you agreed to go to a party with the haiba siblings to treat yourself to a break from typing essay after essay. it was obvious that kuroo would also be there and this time, you wouldn’t be able to avoid him. the running had finally caught up to you.
before the party, you decided to go to the library to work on one of your essays, but with how much work there was left, you simply forgot the time. at 10 p.m., your phone rang.
“hello?”
“girl? why aren’t you here yet? and why aren’t you answering our messages? we texted you like a million times”, levs’ questioning voice echoed through the speaker.
quickly checking the time and number of messages you got, you gasped: “oh god, so sorry! i was at the library working on my shitty marketing essay! ’m gonna be right there!”
ending the phone call, you quickly gathered your things and rushed to your dorms. stripping on the way to the bathroom in your one room apartment, you hopped into the shower, feeling as if you were trying to break the world record for the fastest shower known to men.
as you were stepping out of the shower a few minutes later, someone knocked at your door, startling you. did the haiba siblings come to pick you up? with a hasty ‘’m coming’, you hurried to the door in only a towel.
“hey, I just got out of the shower, I just need…” faltering in your sentence, you gripped your towel tighter, trying not to freak out. because there were no alisa and lev in sight. just kuroo tetsurou. while you were standing there. with only a towel on. fuck. “that’s uh… you’re not alisa and lev.”
“er… n-no, no i’m not”, kuroo stuttered out, at least having the decency to avert his eyes to the ceiling, realizing what you had or rather had not on after checking you out. collecting your composure, you shot him a tight-lipped smile and stepped aside to let him in.
“come in, I just need to get dressed and do my makeup. you can wait inside.”
walking past you, the dark-haired man pretended to scratch his head to hide his red ears and quickly surveyed your room. “that’s…”, breaking off his sentence instantly when his voice cracked, he cleared his throat before trying again. “nice room.”
while kuroo tried not to have a mental breakdown and remember what he came here for, you picked up your disregarded clothes from earlier of the floor, being mindful of not to flash the man, and made your way to your wardrobe, chucking in your dirty laundry and scanning your variety of clothes to pick out the most flattering outfit for the party. “uh, yeah, thanks. so, uh, what did you want? ee would’ve seen each other at the party later anyway.”
but there was no answer, making you frown. just as you wanted to turn around, calling his name in confusion, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around your waist loosely, causing you to choke out his name.
kuroo leaned his head down towards your neck, slowly inhaling the scent of your strawberry bodywash before sighing contently. his soft, plump lips slowly trailed up to your ear, creating goosebumps on their way, before lowly murmuring: “you smell delicious. i could eat you up.”
you could feel yourself shiver at the low timbre of his voice and the indication of his words, as your heart rate picked up to the point you had the feeling as though you were going to die right then and there. how did his demeanor change so suddenly? it seemed as if you were in a room with a completely different person.
the ex-captain smugly grinned as he felt your breath quicken and chest heave without him even doing much, tightening one arm around your waist, while his large hand on the other arm splayed itself on your stomach, slowly sliding down towards where you wanted him. “hm? can I do that baby?”
just as quickly as the thoughts of ‘stop, this is so wrong. what about alisa?’ appeared in your mind, they immediately disappeared with the sweet melody of kuroo calling you baby.
not being able to keep a little whine from slipping out at the pet name, you nodded, your cheeks unbearably hot. but that wasn’t enough for him. tetsurou wanted your verbal consent, even if his half-hard cock already slightly twitched at the small noise you let out without him even touching you properly, screaming at him to finally fuck you.
avoiding the area, you wanted him to touch the most, his hand grabbed your thigh, causing you to squeeze your legs together in search of relief. he tsked at your lack of words and lightly spanked your thigh before tightening his grip around the fat, earning him a surprised squeak from you. “no, use your big girl words baby. i want to hear it.”
the instant tetsurou startled you with the spank, you hurriedly grabbed onto his forearms, lightly digging your nails into the muscles. already, everything was getting too much. his smooth voice seducing you, his dominant touch jumbling up your brain, his urgent need to hear your consent, his pleasant scent of a mix of his cologne, mint and husk surrounding you. him, him, him. you wanted more. you needed more. the slick between your legs grew embarrassingly fast, smearing on the inside of your thighs, showing off kuroo’s effect on you evidently.
“please… please touch me tetsu', I need it”, you whimpered out impatiently, making him close his eyes to stop himself from cumming already, your needy voice going straight to his dick standing at full attention. and even though the menace in him wanted to tease you and hear you beg more; he knew that he didn’t have the willpower to deny himself of having you any longer.
as you felt the tall male finally place his hand underneath your towel and cup your pussy, your head rolled back onto his shoulder, giving him full access to your neck. while dragging his middle and index finger through your folds leisurely, his lips and tongue placed hungry kisses on your neck.
“fuck, angel, you’re soaking wet. Is that all because of me, hmm?”, he lowly murmured against your neck, while his fingers simultaneously slowly circled your clit. you couldn’t stop your eyes from lolling to the back of your head or the small whimper that left you, even though the ‘angel’ left a bitter taste in your mouth. as much as the pet name made your stomach all tingly, you always compared alisa to an angel, so it didn’t quite sit well to be called that by her own ex.
but as you felt his middle finger enter you, all thoughts flew out of your head. The only thing on your mind were the raspy praises against your neck and his finger moving at a torturous pace inside you.
“please tetsu', more, I need more”, you complained whiny, because as much as it was all overwhelming, it also wasn’t enough. kuroo could only grin at your eagerness, but couldn’t blame you, since his own patience was speedily wearing thin.
with an uttered ‘everything for you angel’, he added his index finger into the mix, curling the two digits and, not wasting a moment, pumping them into you at a rapid pace, eliciting a quiet moan out of you. the ex-captain noted that you weren’t much of a moaner and mentally made it a challenge to have you crying for him by the end of the night. so, without much warning, his long, thick fingers started hammering against your g-spot while his thumb circled your clit at the same time, making you squeeze your eyes shut with your mouth opening in a silent scream, your hands searching for stability on the closet in front of you.
“c’mon, y/n, baby, i know you want it, fucking give it to me. ‘been fantasizing about this so long, just wanna make you feel good and fall apart for me. show me how much of a good girl you are.” his smooth voice flowed into your ear, seducing you to fully give into him. you felt as if you were being lured by satan himself and you were just a weak little human, not nearly strong enough to resist the whisper of the devil.
with a series of soft, high-pitched moans, you came on his fingers without any warning, your legs giving out at the intensity of it all. tetsurou only tightened his arm around your waist, picking you up without any trouble, making you clench around nothing at his display of effortless strength as he withdrew his fingers from your dripping hole. you thought you heard a small ‘good girl’, but you couldn’t tell for sure with the way you were still floating on cloud nine after he brought you to your orgasm that quickly.
panting and shivering at the goosebumps erupting, you lifted your gaze up at him as he placed you on your bed, only to find him already staring at you with low lids and completely black eyes, the beautiful hazel color of his eyes lost in all the lust and desire that took over his expression.
refusing to break eye-contact, kuroo lifted his with your essence-soaked fingers to his plush lips, wrapping them around the digits and sucking lewdly at them. once again, you felt yourself clench around nothing, rubbing your thighs against each other to get some relief, when you saw his eyes roll back as he tasted you.
the next thing you knew, your back hit the bed with the broad man lying between your spread legs, making you yelp. you could feel the atmosphere around tetsurou change once again. he was a lot more feral than he was before, as if his patience were running out.
his biceps wrapped around your plush thighs, holding you in place since the feeling of his breath against your cunt made your hips twitch up at their own accord, exposing the strong want you had for the man between your legs.
“’m gonna fucking wreck you angel”, he growled against your slit, before diving right in, licking and sucking messily at your clit, your pussy lips, everywhere he could reach. and as much as it shouldn’t feel pleasurable with him being as aggressive as he was, it felt fucking heavenly. you couldn’t help but arch your back, hands flying down to tangle in his messy rooster hair and tugging at the surprisingly soft strands, causing him to moan hoarsely against your sensitive pussy, the vibrations only egging you on. something about kuroo tetsurou losing his usual provocative, teasing demeanor as he ate you out felt so raw and animalistic, that it made your head spin and toes curl.
his large hand crept up your torso and he finally removed the towel that barely hid your breasts from him before palming one, drawing a content sigh out of you at the attention. but as much as he enjoyed listening to you whine and sigh because of the pleasure he was causing you, he wanted, no, needed to hear how much you wanted this, how much you wanted him.
“tell me how it feels angel, tell me how good it feels. ‘wanna hear your pretty voice, baby”, he huskily mumbled against your clit, making you arch your back at the delicious vibrations echoing through your core. but as much as you enjoyed hearing his dirty talk, you felt insecure about yours not turning him on.
preparing yourself mentally as good as you managed with the way he ate you out like a man starved, you allowed yourself a glance down only to see him expectantly observing you. the erotic sight only coaxed another high-pitched whine out of you, your head lolling back against your pillow.
at the next harsh suck on your sensitive bundle of nerves, your hips thrusted up against his skilled tongue and you finally gave in to your desire of wanting to tell him how good he was making you feel. only him.
“fuck, tetsu', d-don’t stop. feels so good, you feel so good, only you, please, please, please”, you needily moaned while grinding your hips up, simultaneously pushing his head deeper into your pussy and if kuroo had any self-control left, it was definitely gone now.
his toned biceps tightened around your thighs. his large hands squeezed your breast and hip harshly, leaving bruises for you to discover tomorrow. his able tongue messily switched between being shoved deep inside you and swirling your clit and you could feel the bed shake with how forceful he was humping the bed just from eating you out and hearing you talk like that. every little thing contributed to your orgasm washing over you like a tsunami. you were fairly sure you even blacked out for a few seconds because the next time you focused your attention back on tetsurou, he was frantically unbuttoning his jeans, with his shirt already off, whipping out his cock.
you felt your eyes widen as well as your pussy clench, you couldn’t remember the last time you were this horny, but you also weren’t sure how the fuck you were supposed to fit a cock this big and girthy inside you. meanwhile kuroo took off his boxers and contently sighed as he finally started stroking himself, giving himself some relief but it wasn’t enough. not by a long shot.
zoning in on your face once again - sweaty, low lidded eyes, blown out pupils- the impatient boy leaned down and kissed you for the first time that evening. after everything that just transpired between you two, the kiss definitely felt the most intimate, but it was also what you were craving the most from tetsurou for months now.
you didn’t know how to possibly express all the emotions you were currently overwhelmed with, so you tried to translate it all through the kiss. kissing back harder, all teeth and tongue, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, pressing your thighs against his hips, hoping it was enough to convey what you wanted to say.
apparently, it was, because you could hear kuroo lowly growl against your lips before starting to dig his fingers into your hips and grind against you, finally letting you feel him where you needed him the most.
“n-not enough, tetsu'”, you eagerly whined, raising your hips, hoping it was enough to convince him to finally fuck you like you craved him to. but as thin as his patience was at the moment, kuroo tetsurou would not be kuroo tetsurou without his teasing antics.
he slyly grinned, pressing feather-light kisses down from your lips to your throat, making his way to your breasts, where he teasingly kitten-licked your nipples a few times, letting you think you were finally getting what you wanted before he raised his head and stared you down with his almost pitch-black eyes. “mmm, I know you can do better than that kitten”, he gruffly remarked while continuing to grind against you slowly, making you jerk and mewl every time you felt the head of his cock bump against your clit. “what do you want me to do, baby?”
how he still had it in him to tease and deny you, was beyond you, because you were on the edge of breaking down from how bad you wanted him. “’want you to fuck me, tetsu'”, you confidently said while gazing into his eyes, or at least, you tried to sound confident, but you were only able to whine and moan at this point.
kuroo closed his eyes and felt himself twitch against your pussy. you were going to be the death of him. sitting back up on his knees, he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance, making you spread your legs automatically wider at the sight.
with one sharp snap of his hips, you both groaned simultaneously, your groan high-pitched, his low and guttural, at the feeling you’ve both been craving for. “fuck, you’re on birth control, right?”, he asked, straining himself as to not just start pounding you into oblivion or cum right on the spot.
“yes, shit”, you breathlessly answered, putting your hands against his toned abdomen as to let him know to wait, which only made him clench his abs at the feeling of your soft hands on his exposed skin. “j-just give me a sec, need a moment”, you murmured avoiding eye contact, suddenly shy at the fact that you were just lying there with kuroo balls deep inside you.
sensing your mood shift, the tall male grinned his cheshire-grin at you and teasingly remarked: “why? am i too big for you, huh?”, hoping it’d make you laugh and relax a bit, soon realizing that the idea completely back-fired on him.
as you started to laugh at his arrogant remark, hitting his abs slightly and telling him to shut up, your core clenched in-sync with your laughter, making you freeze at the sudden loud, almost pornographic moan escaping tetsurou’s lips.
looking up at him, you finally realized how much he was holding back as to not hurt you or make you uncomfortable. the handsome boys’ wild hair was already sticking to the sweat forming on his forehead, his jaw clenched painfully, nostrils flaring, eyebrows furrowed, biceps bulging with how hard he was gripping the sheets beside your hips to restrain himself. the thought of him wanting to fuck you so bad but holding back for your pleasure and well-being, was enough to make you clench down on him again, rolling your hips up against his and declaring: “’m ready, tetsu'. please, f-fuck me”.
with your words and the grinding of your hips, kuroo really couldn’t hold back the little stutter his hips did against yours but fuck, was he embarrassed by it. he felt like a teenager, touching real boobs for the first time all over again, knowing he wouldn’t last long. not with how long he had fantasized about this and with how you reacted to his every move and touch, squeezing him so tight, he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to move.
“’m gonna break you”, and with those final words, his large, veiny hands gripped your hips in a bruising, vice grip, pulling out so only his tip was inside your messy, drooling cunt, before snapping right back in, making you choke on your breath at the impact.
as much as kuroo wanted to bust inside you right then and there, the strong urge to see you lose yourself on his cock while he ruined every other man for you was much more prominent. so, the ex-captain rutted in your pussy like his life depended on it, wanting your moans and mewls and whines to never stop. there was so much that was running through his head while being empty at the same time. the only thought was to bring you both to earth-shattering orgasms, but he also wanted to spit in your mouth, choke you, spank your thighs and ass till you wouldn’t be able to sit tomorrow. he wanted to come on your thighs, your tits, face, but he also wanted to breed you.
you two were definitely way too young for children but he couldn’t get the mental image of you, stuffed with his cum with it running down your legs out of his mind, only making it harder for him not to cum immediately.
but you weren’t doing better either. the pace that kuroo was fucking you at, had you seeing stars, riding you up higher on the bed with every thrust and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. you gripped the sheets, his hands, his forearms, your breasts, anything, to try to stabilize yourself as you approached your high embarrassingly fast without your clit even being touched.
just as the thought crossed your mind, you felt tetsus’ calloused fingertips, from years of playing volleyball, circle your clit, causing you to throw your head back with your lips open in a silent scream.
“fuck, you’re so fucking tight kitten, so much better than i ever imagined. cum for me, wanna feel you cream on my fat cock, wanna see you lose your mind baby, give it to me”. at this point, he basically started rambling on about how hot and tight you were, how he wanted you to cum around his cock so badly, how you were gonna make him cum so hard, how you were making such a mess for him, what a good girl you were.
just as you felt yourself almost falling over the edge at the added stimulus to your clit and the filthy praises that were coming out of his mouth, you yanked the boy down by his arm, wrapping your arms around him firmly and kissing him so hard, you were sure you both would have bruised lips later.
with the new position and the intimacy of being pressed up against each other, one more thrust, and you were gone. cumming around his cock so hard, you couldn’t remember the last time someone made you cum that hard, if ever.
the pornographic moans of his name along with some ‘fuck’s and ‘so good’s, the jerking of your body against his and the vice-grip of your pussy on his dick as you came. it was all too much for the poor boy who didn’t even cum once the whole time, while you already had three orgasms under your belt. the last straw was your quiet, little ‘cum inside tetsu', want you to fill me up’ and so, a few short, sloppy thrusts later, kuroo buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly as he came inside, spurting hot, white cum against your abused walls.
the feeling of being filled up to the hilt by kuroo tetsurou was intoxicating. you whined, wrapping your legs around his hips, caging him in so he couldn’t pull out, not wanting the moment to end.
you both lied there, trying to catch your breath. as he pulled out after a few moments and got up to go grab a towel to clean you up, your hand caught his. “don’t go, where are you going?”, you whined needily, wanting to cuddle, to worn-out to care about the mess gushing out of your hole onto the bed sheets.
chuckling, the tall boy leaned down, kissing your forehead: “’m not going anywhere angel, I’m just gonna grab a towel and clean you up”. with that he retreated to the bathroom in search of a towel to use.
you, on the other hand, suddenly sobered up from your drunk-on-lust high at the pet name, making you realize what you just did. fuck, you just banged alisa’s ex-boyfriend. they weren’t even broken off for that long and you already betrayed her.
feeling like a bad friend and complete whore, you didn’t even register said ex-boyfriend was back, making you flinch at the sudden contact of your sensitive pussy with the wet, rough towel.
“relax baby, it’s just me”, he teasingly chuckled, while cleaning you up. when he didn’t hear you chuckle or bite back at his teasing, his expression morphed into a frown, lifting his gaze from your core to your face. “what’s wrong?”
“nothing, thanks.” but of course, you were lying. the panic that slowly settled in your chest was threatening to suffocate you. hell, you weren’t even able to look at him properly.
you felt kuroo grab your chin with his fingers gently, turning your head so you had to look at him. tetsurou was completely serious, he only hoped you weren’t regretting what just transpired between you two, as he repeated: “what’s. wrong?”, emphasizing those two words so you knew there was no point in lying.
feeling your eyes water up, you cursed yourself for showing weakness, since you weren’t one to cry often, especially in front of other people. “what are we going to tell alisa?”
that caught him off guard. “alisa?”, he repeated questioningly, as if he didn’t know what you meant. how could he not know? was he that stupid?
you sat up, rubbing at your eyes frantically with the rising anger inside your chest. “yeah, alisa. your ex. the one that’s like a sister to me. how am I supposed to look her in the eyes after what we just did?”
kuroo wasn’t stupid. you could vouch for that any day. you saw him in your lecture, and you had studied a lot with him, but right now, you were sure he was the dumbest person you ever knew, even beating lev. because even after explaining, he still only looked at you with a confused gaze, saying: “i don’t quite follow?”
groaning, you ran your hands through your hair in frustration, declaring: “you’re really smart, but you’re being so fucking dumb right now. how the fuck am I supposed to talk to one of my closest friends after I fucked her ex-boyfriend, who she loved by the way, not even that long after they broke up?”
finally, it clicked in kuroo’s brain. but the last thing you expected, was to hear him laugh. your head snapped up at the sound, glaring at him you almost growled: “what the fuck’s so funny, you fucking bedhead?”
“oh wow, throwing in the insults huh?”, he said between chuckles. “it’s funny because alisa was the one who encouraged me to come here tonight, though I don’t think she wanted us to outright fuck but, you know.”
what now?
“what do you mean she encouraged you to come here?”, you interrogated perplexed. suddenly he was acting all shy and sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck with his big hand, avoiding your eyes.
“well… we’re still friends, so we were talking about our lectures a week ago and she suddenly mentioned how you also were a fan of 'pride and rejudice'. i just… got kinda excited at that, since alisa wasn’t really interested in things like that, so i started asking her about it. she then called me out on my crush on you, saying she already knows why i was so distracted the weeks leading up to our break-up, thinking about you.”
while listening, your anger slowly morphed into nervousness at kuroo openly admitting he also had a crush on you, but you wanted him to finish his story before addressing the elephant in the room.
“i apologized immediately, thinking she was angry at me, but you know her. she was so sweet, saying she would only be happier if it worked out between us. after, she tried to set us up to talk to each other, but you avoided me like the plague, so she told me to come here before the party since you were running late, to confront you and settle it once and for all but uh…”, he sheepishly smiled, “i kinda got distracted when you opened the door in only a towel, so… that didn’t go as planned.”
sitting with your mouth agape in a ‘o’, your brain tried to process all the information, not knowing what to say to his confession and explanation.
“soooo… she’s not gonna hate me and cancel our friendship?”, you carefully pressed, just to be sure. “no, I don’t think she will”, he chortled.
“oh.”
with that, the room was suddenly extremely silent, making you and kuroo even more nervous. clearing his throat, he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “are you gonna give me an answer to my confession, or am I like, totally embarrassing myself right now?”
“uh, no, yeah”, you softly giggled at his obvious anxiousness. taking his face between your hands, you looked right into his hazel eyes in the dim lighting, before gently smiling at him.
“i like you too, nerd.”
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bonus:
the next morning, you woke up to your phone aggressively vibrating on your nightstand beside your bed. you blindly reached out, picking up the call without even opening your eyes, clearly still half-asleep.
“hello?”, you groggily asked your caller, wondering who the fuck was calling you this early, when lev’s voice filled your ear. “y/n? hey, we we’re worried about you yesterday. why didn’t you show up? it was so much fun”, the big, over-grown baby whined.
looking down at the reason you weren’t able to attend the party sleeping soundly with his head on your chest, you smiled, carding your fingers softly through his raven-black hair.
“just… reasons”.
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741 notes · View notes
strayen-fx · 4 years
Text
Monochrome
Hyunjin x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Barista!AU, Soulmate!AU
Word count: 2k
Summary: You found him, and he found you. Everything felt perfect, but what if everything that you felt right has been wrong all along?
A/N: I've been wanting to try the bulletpoint type of au, so here it is! Not sure if I did it right, but I hope you enjoy it~
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• Everyone believed in soulmates
• Well, not everyone, but you get what I mean
• Most people are too worked up with finding their own destined partner
• Hoping to see "the one" with whom they'll spend their life with
• Actually, there is a special bond shared between soulmates
• Once your soulmate dies, your world would turn black and white
• And I mean literally
• You will stop seeing colors, and everything you see would be in a bland monochrome, like an old movie
• You personally think it as a sad and sentimental part of people's destiny, but at the same time, you found it romantic.
• You don't know how people realize who their soulmate is, though
• Some people say they hear a bell when they walk past their soulmate
• Some people say they feel a slowmo moment, as if time stopped and all they can see is their soulmate in front of them
• Some people say that you would just feel it when the two of you met. It would be an unexplicable moment, something that nobody else but the two of you would understand.
• But, well, you don't know, really
• It's that time of the year when lovebirds are spotted everywhere
• And while you are secretly a hopeless romantic, you simply don't have the time to invest in a relationship
• You are a college student
• And needless to say, you're stressed af
• Midterm exams are coming, and there's a TON of things you need to review for your major subjects
• And there's your minor who loves to pretend being a major
• But anyway
• You just don't have time time to spare
• You spend most of your time in the library, burying yourself in books and notes
• Because you definitely did not procrastinate in the previous weeks
• But today, you find yourself in the cafe with your best friend
• Because you're hungry
• And you definitely need some caffeine in your system
• You were about to get lost in the world of numbers
• Lmao what was that
• And just then, this tall barista came to your table to serve your coffee
• And you did a double take
• Because god
• He's SO CUTE
• And he has such an adorable eye smile
• He smelled like coffee and morning sunshine
• And he GLOWED
• When your eyes met, your heartbeat picked up its pace
• Alexa play P.A.C.E. by 3RACHA
• Even after he left your table, you were still dazed
• You can't concentrate AT ALL
• You were staring at him the whole time you were there
• He catches your eyes sometimes, and you would immediately avert your gaze
• But he noticed you looking anyway
• So he would offer a small smile each time your eyes met
• And you were dying inside
• You convince yourself it's the coffee that makes you palpitate
• But MAAAAN
• A part of you was convinced
• "He definitely is my soulmate."
• I mean, nobody can possible make your insides go crazy, right?
• Except for the person who is destined to be with you for the rest of your lifetime
• It was a feeling you could not explain
• And when your eyes met for the nth time that day, you were sure of it: that barista is "the one"
• So
• After that day, you became a regular in that cafe
• And that's because their coffee tastes great
• Definitely NOT because of the cute barista
• Nope. Of course not.
• You soon learned that his name is Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin.
• What happened with the barista not being the reason why you're there
• You started having small talks each time while he's preparing your Americano
• 🎶Americano, joa joa joa 🎶
• You learned that he's also a student in your school, taking a major in dance
• And you were like, WOAH, that's why he's got a nice built
• After a few weeks of visiting the cafe, you inevitably became close to him
• And he also grew fond of you
• One day, you lost track of time. You stayed until the end of Hyunjin's shift
• You were surprised when someone took the seat opposite yours
• "You're not going home yet?" Hyunjin asked.
• You glanced at your phone. It's already seven in the evening.
• "O-oh? It's this late already?"
• "You need to eat proper dinner. Wanna go with me? My treat," he offered.
• And then he smiled
• And you were like, holy crab
• When God said he has no favorites, he definitely lied
• Because in front of you is a perfect being
• The epitome of beauty
• You simply nodded like the lovestruck you are
• He brought you to his favorite diner
• You weren't expecting much with the food, but once you took a bite of their pasta, you were like
• WOAH WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS PLACE BEFORE?
• Hyunjin was smiling at you as he watched you savor the dish
• At the end of the meal, he offered to walk you home
• You obliged, of course
• You were talking about random things while walking
• When suddenly the topic was brought to the idea of soulmates
• "I don't know... I guess I'll feel it once I saw him," you said.
• "Did you feel it when you saw me?"
• You stopped on your tracks, and you just looked at him
• You felt your blood rising up your neck to your cheek
• You noticed that Hyunjin's cheek was also tinged with pink
• And his ears were practically burning
• But he did his best to look straight into your eyes
• "Because I felt it when I saw you," Hyunjin said.
• You felt the sincerity in his voice when he said:
• "I like you, Y/N. No, scratch that -- I think I love you. I know we haven't known each other for long, but I know that you are my soulmate, and--"
• You would lie if you'd say that you didn't like him
• So you did the dumbest most sensible thing at the moment
• You kissed him
• Ohmygod you kissed Hyunjin
• Hyunjin's eyes widened in surprise
• But he immediately recovered and kissed you back
• He was smiling through your kiss
• You can't help but think of how lucky you are to be Hwang Hyunjin's soulmate
• Soooo
• The two of you became official
• You continued spending your free time in the cafe, waiting for Hyunjin's shift to end so the two of you could hang out after
• You were having your date practically every week
• Everything felt perfect. Everything felt right.
• You hadn't even noticed that time flew right past by, until one day you were already celebrating your second year anniversary
• Yeah, time flew so fast
• You've done a lot of things together
• Hyunjin felt so happy to have you as his partner
• And nothing can convince him otherwise
• And you were beyond happy to have him as your soulmate
• And there were no doubts in your mind
• Until one day
• You fell asleep in one of your classes
• And when you woke up, you couldn't believe your eyes
• Everything you saw was in black and white
• You immediately grabbed your phone to call Hyunjin
• He wasn't answering
• You ran all the way to the cafe where Hyunjin was working
• You didn't care if you stumbled and fell and got a couple bruises and scratches
• A lot of people were looking at you weirdly, but you didn't care
• When you got to the cafe, you saw a lot of people
• Ordering
• Hyunjin was there at the counter, busily preparing the drinks of the customers
• Just then, your knees lost their strength
• You fell right there in the middle of the cafe
• You broke into tears
• You didn't know what else happened, the next moment Hyunjin was there hugging you, asking you what was wrong, peppering you with soft kisses
• He brought you to the staff room, tending to your small wounds while trying to calm you down
• And honestly, you didn't know if you were crying out of relief that Hyunjin was alright
• Or out of the fact that Hyunjin was not your real soulmate
• After the fateful day, you refused to tell Hyunjin about what really happened
• You did your best to pretend that everything was normal, but Hyunjin knew something was wrong
• He would catch you looking at him with sad eyes
• Sometimes he would see you crying
• When he asked you, you would simply say that you are stressed with your academics
• He knew you were lying
• But he can't bring himself to confront you
• Because you would just hug him and bury yourself in his arms
• The whole thing was taking its toll on you
• You would sometimes ask yourself: Who is Hyunjin's soulmate? Are they suffering, because I stole the person they were meant to be with?
• You thought: Of course -- who am I to think I deserve someone like Hyunjin to be my soulmate?
• You felt bad for your real soulmate -- they died, and you were out there thinking of somebody else. You were there on somebody else's arms, instead of staying by their side.
• You were out strolling one night, thinking and rethinking all over again, when suddenly, it rained so hard
• You have your umbrella in your bag, but you just didn't have the energy to take it
• You walked in the rain, soaked and drenched, shivering
• Then you saw someone barreling towards you
• You can't process anything at the time
• The person crashed to you, tackling you into a hug.
• "H-Hyunjin?"
• "What are you doing?!?! Do you want to get sick?! Do you want to get into an accident?!?! What are you thinking?!??!"
• He broke away from the hug to inspect your face
• He has an umbrella, but he was also drenched because he ran from place to place to look for you
• You cried even more
• You cried, because you knew that you didn't deserve someone like him
• You didn't deserve someone like Hyunjin
• Someone is out there, destined for him, destined to be with him
• And that person is not you
• You tried to smile at him, but instead, you can't help but break down
• "I'm sorry, Jinnie. This is all wrong. I'm a terrible person."
• "What are you saying?"
• "I don't see colors anymore. Everything is in black and white."
• He was silent for a while. He was just staring at your eyes.
• And then: "So?"
• His word took you by surprise.
• "'So?' That's the only word you're gonna say? I'm not your soulmate, Hyunjin! My soulmate is somewhere... dead! And your soulmate... Your soulmate is somewhere else! It's not me! You should be looking for them instead of staying with me!"
• Hyunjin's eyes softened. "I can't see colors, too."
• The world stopped, and at the time, you weren't seeing anything else but the man staring right into you.
• "W-what?"
• "It started just when we began dating," Hyunjin explained. "I was in the middle of my shift, and then suddenly, I felt dizzy. I lost consciousness, and when I woke up, I suddenly can't see colors anymore.
• "I ran to the campus then, but just in time I saw you going out of your class."
• "Y-Yeah, I vaguely remember that," you answered. "You just showed up in your barista uniform and bear-hugged me out of nowhere."
• Hyunjin smiled softly. "I thought I lost you. As selfish as it may sound, I was happy that you're not my soulmate."
• You felt stuck in the ground, frozen. You didn't know what to feel, nor what to say.
• You were sad
• And at the same time, you were happy
• You felt sad that your actual soulmate has died
• But at the same time
• You are happy that Hyunjin is standing in front of you
• You are happy that Hyunjin stayed
• Despite knowing that you weren't each other's soulmate
• He took your cold hand into his equally freezing hand
• "I can live forever in this monochromatic world, if that would mean spending every minute with you. I don't mind living in black and white as long as I have you by my side -- as long as I could live my life with you.
• "Are you willing to stay with me?"
• You nodded immediately, tears reforming in your eyes
• But they weren't brought by grief this time
• They were brought by love
• "You are all the colors in one, Hyunjin. I need nothing else but you."
297 notes · View notes
the-sassy-dorito · 3 years
Text
Do you ever run into those kind of people where they think that high school were the best years of their lives? I have, and if you ever meet them in real life? Run. They are going to be one of three things. A) a liar B)a psychopath C) someone who peaked in high school or D) Ass-kissers and suck ups.
Some one who constantly reminises about their "good old days" in high school are people to be avoided at all cost. How do I know this? A lot of my old co-workers. Whenever we were on breaks, it was never ending talk about "How amazing high school was" or "I wish I could go back to those good old days". Where could they possibly be now where could say, with full confidence, that high school were the best four years of your life? And the the people who mostly said this, were pleople who had to be in their early thirties.
Now I don't know about you, but I personally hated high school. You could not pay me enough to go back to high school. I won't even be going to any high school reunions. Simply because I hated it. I hated the students, the teachers (aside from one), the food, and the overall environment. It felt more like a prison with pretty walls. It seemed like evryine walked at 2 miles an hour and cluttered up the hallways making it almost impossible to get through. Making you late to class, especially when you only have two minutes to get to your next period.
There used to be only two classes that I absolutely loved (which quickly turned to one) and those were choir and art.
But see, here's the thing. Our choir teacher, didn't know Shit about choir. She was the overall music teacher because we also had the elementary school in that room.
The way the school was set up was weird. The 1st- 6th graders were in the elementary school across the street and 7th grade and up were in the high school building. And since the high school was the only building with a cafeteria, naturally the school was combinded during lunch.
Now back to the choir/music teacher. She was good at teaching kids, not teenagers. There's a reason I stopped taking her class even though I loved choir. I had been in a few choir programs before this class, and every program I was always the same thing. A 2nd Alto. My voice can hit certain high notes but not often and my previous instructors knew this. I think the highest I could go with cracking too hard would be a 1st B or C at most.
This dumb bitch of a choir teacher set me as a 1st Sopranno. Uumm Bitch?? Do I sound like fucking Christine Daea to you?!?! And the first fucking song we did was fucking Danny Boy! And the only two other girls in this fucking choir, who had the range of a sopranno, were altos! Sometimes I get it, we were not a big choir there were only five of us. 1 sopranno 2 altos 1 tenor and 1 bass. I know why there were only five of us in that class. Everyone took that class to get out of other classes and that was the only reason why people in that school took choir. After the disaster of a concert was over. I dropped that class so fast. I think voice still struggles now with my old notes with how bad Danny boy fucked me over.
Art class was my only sancuary left. I loved that class. Even though, again, people took that class to get out of other clases. I didn't care because in this class we didn't have to perform, we didn't have to work together, and we didn't have to embarrass ourselves with half assery. This class was my only happy place in the hell that was high school.
I thought my english class was going to be fun. Until it wasn't. Sure the book reports were different, and challenging but my teacher graded them at college level. Do we look like college students to you? And before you ask, no it wasn't just our class she graded at college level. 7th - Seniors were graded at college level. Nothing hurts more in high school than working really hard on a project and feeling really good about it, ony to recieve a failing grade for it.
Three teachers at that school were the reason I didn't get to walk on graduation day. Three teachers at that school who continually talked down to their students, treated them like they were stupid, and graded their students at fucking college level. My history teacher, my math teacher, and my english teacher.
I tried. I tried so god damned hard to pass their ridiculous classes. I did their homework to the best of my ablilities. So hard that I would continuosly get sick over stressing about it one too many times. Getting stress sick at the times when you needed to be class sucked royal ass and I would have to miss school and then they turn it around and act like it's your fault that you're not passing.
The students there weren't better. I didn't really have any friends. There were people there I din't completely hate but that didn't really make us friends either. I tried to make friends,it just no one in that school and I had much in common. It seemed like the people in that school were only interested in FFA and sports.(FFA= Future Farmers of America). Seemed like they also knew how to sweet talk the teachers into doing whatever they liked too. A bunch of ass kissers the lot of them. They'd give their bullshit excuses and then poof they got away with everything. In my world, if you kept your head down and keep quiet, they leave you alone.
If what you liked and talked about didn't fit their criteria. You were labeled as the outcast. They would pretend to be nice and act like they want to know about you but once you see past their fake smiles you can see right through all of their bullshit.
Me and my family were always the outcasts. We didn't grow up with any of them. We had moved cities to that high school as soon as I had finished middle school. By the time he had moved, everyone already had their own cliques. And we were the outsiders. At least my younger brothers stood more of a chance than I did.
When I was told that I didn't have enough credits to graduate high school, my heart dropped. After working my ass off for almost 8 and a half fucking semesters. I wasn't going to be able to graduate. They told me my otpions. I could either repeat another year or I could drop out of high school and start working on recieving my GED. I chose dropping out so fast. I refused to retake another year in that hell hole.
I dropped out and and started studying for my GED. I passed the first three tests easily. It was the math quiz the really stumped me so I had to retake it. I had to retake it six fucking times. Each time I failed I was only two points away each fucking time.That final sixth test was the best day of my life. I didn't to have to have anything to do with that school ever again.
Sometimes I'll run into my old classmates every once in a blue moon when I visit home. And the second they start talking, I always regret saying hi, because they simply do not shut up about fucking high school. They talk about how great it was and how sad they are to be moving on. Like great I'm Soooo glad that high school worked out for you and the people like you, but for people like me, it was hell.
It was hell and I was alone.
Now I'm not saying that no one else has had it rough in high school. I know people who had it a lot tougher and rougher. I know what I went through doesn't compare to what other people have gone through.
I don't expect anyone to read this. I doubt anyone will care, and at this point in my life, that's okay. I've just been holding onto these thoughts for so long and Idon't feel like I can tell anybody else anymore because every time I've tried, I've always been brushed off and invalidated. So right now this once empty document was the only one who would listen.
Thanks for listening to my venting.
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DO HELLE love me im trash for the ghost children
🌱- When is their birthday? Where were they born? What was the time of day?
Opal- Nov 30, 11pmBellamy and Aiden- June 12, 3am 🔠- Who named them? What does their name mean?
Opal- Hades named him after dead mother, her name means “precious stone. Bellamy- named after Belle, name means “fair friend.” Aiden- named after Hades, name means “little fire” or “ardent.”
💤- Was it difficult to get them to fall asleep at night?Opal- She’d fall asleep, but she’d wake up a lot. Bell and Aiden- both were basically nocturnal as children because they couldn’t control ghost stuff and the ghosts would bother them at night. snoozed a lot during the day. 🌀- Were they a social, giggly baby? Or were they a shy baby who did not like forced socialization?Opal- curious child. She didn’t mind getting held by others, but she like kind of looked offended if it happened like “omg mom dad wtf is this?” She also touched things a lot. You couldn’t leave her alone because she’d find her way into something.
Bell/Aiden: They were finicky kids who had bad separation anxiety I feel. Aiden was /louder/ than Bell and more demanding but both had issues with ppl ahah. 🍳- What is their favorite childhood dish?Opal- uh. Fresh. Strawberries.
Bell- icing on cupcakes
Aiden- the cake part of the cupcakes. 🐻- Did they have a favorite teddy bear/stuffed animal?
Opal- Opal had a blanket she carried everywhere and she sucked on the tail end of it.
Bell- he carried around his fave PICTURE BOOK started young ppl
Aiden- he was more of a lego and blocks kind of guy. 🏡- What kind of environment did they grow up in? Was it in a rural or farmlike home? Or did they grow up in the cities? Or were they a small town/suburban child?They grew up in Swynlake! In Belle’s house! So small town life, surrounded by magic. Stable household in that their parents loved each other and never like coddled their children. Unstable household in that i’m sure u know disasters erupted all the time.
👦🏻- What was preschool/kindergarten like?
Opal- she found like a few friends and honestly loved going to school. Loved bringing home her assignments to show her parents was a goodie goodie two shoes
Bell- stuck to Aiden’s side like glue. Daydreamed a lot and got into trouble for it.
Aiden- stuck to Bell’s side like glue. If he made other friends-- he probably made one or two-- he told them they had to be Bell’s friend too. Talked during class and got in trouble for it. 👧🏻- What was elementary/middle school like?Sort of in the saaaame vein, Opal still loved school and loved her homework. Aiden was warming up to it more and he was probably separated from Bell at this point so he had to make other friends which u know, he did more or less-- made one or two. He started to like getting #praised for assignments and shit so he took school more seriously.
Bell meanwhile was still a daydreamer though he excelled at literature and probably history. He was def the faves of some teachers . 👱🏻‍♀️- What was high school/college like?
At this point, Aiden became VERY competitive of Opal and hated coming up behind her since she was a fave of her teachers and /everyone/ knew Aiden as “Opal’s Little Sister.” He took school very very seriously and started getting involved. He was pretty popular though he wanted popularity for the status, not because he cared so much about what people thought of him honestly. Opal-- was a goodie two shoes ahah though by this point she probably was getting into magical hijinks that made her late or made her have to ask for an extension on her paper. Still cared about school but cared more about what she was investigating out/side/ of it. Very Hermione Granger esque as you can imagine.
Bell kept to himself, didn’t really havea  lot of friends, but was involved in those pockets of passion-- probably in a book club, probably worked in the school’s library, probably ate lunch with the librarians ahahah. He is the least interested in magical hijinks. Whereas Aiden probably uses his powers to get ahead and is interested in mediumship (it’s something that distinguishes him form Opal), Bell sees them as just another part of his... being like-- he has blue eyes, he can talk 2 ghosts so what.🌋- How often did they get caught doing something bad?
Opal- tbh-- enough. By the time she’s a teen, she’s up to her neck in magic(k) drama. Uses what I honestly think is a -puff secondary to skate by tho bc she’s a genuine hard worker. Also, people don’t expect it from Opal haha
Aiden- he’s a slippery guy so not that much. Can talk his way out of it normally.
Bell- is dragged into drama bc of his siblings ahaha but he’s no snitch. /has/ taken the fall once or twice but makes sure Aiden and Opal pay him back for it haha. 🌡- Did they get sick a lot as a child? Did they ever have to go to the hospital for any reason?
Opal- i gave her a heart tumor
Aiden- his sensitivity to ghosts means that he is cold and when he was younger, he would get headaches and got sleep deprived a lot. He feels the pain of ghosts more potently than his brother because he has worked harder to be in touch with his powers (this can mean that he can spontaneously develop an allergy if he’s channeling a ghost ahha)
Bell- same vein as Aiden but not as sensitive. deprived HIMSELF of sleep bc he reads too much. 🎀- What kinds of games/activities did they like to play?
Opal- she liked to read, write, doodle, play pretend!! probably loved charades and also she liked acting, mostly for the community more than like a, desire to be on stage or anything. Though she also always wanted to be a lil ‘special’ soooo maybe u like the stage more than u think.
Aiden- reading, writing, likes chess and puzzles like his dad. cheats at battleship. he got into student council and the like at school and was also interested in magic and the occult bc of his powers so u know demonology, ghost hunting etc
Bell- reading, reading, reading. History buff (likes talking to ghosts mostly for the /history/ he can learn). Also likes science fiction more than fantasy tbh because magic is just an ingrained part of his life so science fiction seems /more/ fantastic to him so I think he would have an interest in astronomy too. Has a telescope and like star charts on his wall. 🎏- Did they have a lot of friends? Can you describe a few?
Opal- definitely had friends, i feel like she had like 2-3 that followed her up through all those years of schooling. Made some theater buddies also
Aiden- made most of his friends in high school but they were ‘school friends’ to him and so he didn’t hang out with them that much outside of Swynlake (besides to work on school projects). I can see him having some girl best friend who he ended up dating tbh i could see him having a high school relationship the most.
Bell- friends with librarians, teachers, and his mother lmao. kidding. He definitely had one or two friends in book club or astronomy club ahah. If you asked him, he’d say Aiden and Opal are his best friends. 💢- Did they ever have a rebellious phase?
Opal- sort of? I dunno, Belle and Hades would be trusting parents who gave their kids freedom and independence. Once she was diagnosed with a HEART TUMOR maybe then she’d go wacko for a bit ahaha try to like have sex and go to parties and have a teen life crisis. She def sometimes skipped classes or didn’t tell her parents where she was going but... its fine.
Aiden- honestly, no. He /seems/ like he’d be a rebel but he’s sort of all hot air and performance. He’d get into some of those darned magical hijinks ! but Opal is usually the ring leader, not him. Ironically enough, his rebellious phase was like-- becoming a hardworking popular student in order to compete with Opal lmao. he rebelled the opposite direction.
Bell- uhhh no, not really ahah. he can have attitude problems though for sure. Probably smart-mouthed to teachers he doesnt respect or wasn’t sensitive to kids in his class and would ignore Belle and Hades about chores and stuff. Also lies for his siblings all the time. He’s not an instigator but he is an enabler.
❓- Did they ask a lot of questions when they were younger? Did they like to explore the world?
YES. in their unique ways, they do! :D
🗯- How well did they get along with their siblings?
Pretty well overall! They feel like a “team” and they are like a little over a year (18 months? sure) apart. Aiden clashes with Opal the most. Bell doesnt like when Opal tries to “mother” him and Opal can feel alone sometimes when its the Aiden-and-Bellamy show which it is a lot bc ghost powers and communicating thru ghost-speak but-- overall, they always have each other’s backs and they love each other WAY more than they like other people.
#teamacheronunite 🔷- Free question! idk i love them all a lot
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Blog 2. Writing the Script
Awesome! We have a story. Well, the world the story takes place in. But it got the creativity gears moving.
For those of you having a tough time finding a story to write, it helps to think of ideas as puzzle pieces. There are a lot of ideas floating around out there. All you have to do is take a few of them and put them together.
If the shapes don't fit get some scissors.
It's okay no one will know ;)
Unless you're not good with scissors. For that, you just need to practice!
My memory of writing the script is a little fuzzy. I think the first character I wrote was Chiemi's character. She was originally an old man named Ojisan. I thought of Ojisan first because he is one of my inner selves. He doesn't like technology. It sucks.
Ojisan grew up without technology, and once cell phones came about he hated it. For his name...well..." names", in general, are difficult to come up with. Soooo I pulled out the Japanese word "Ojisan," meaning "old man." And that is how Ojisan was born!
Please don't call people "Ojisan" now that you know what it means.
I got my first character down, but I felt I needed something else. Ojisan was my point of view on technology but it felt like the film needed a character relatable to general people who love technology. Plus it would be more interesting to have a different point of view in the story. So I wrote out the other main character. A teenager who grew up with technology and can't get enough of it. Then I was faced with that same problem. What should her name be?
Toooooo many people use "Yuki" as a Japanese girl's name for a character. Hmmm...why not Kyoko? Yeah, that sounds good. And that's how she was born!
From my two main characters, I was able to start writing my story. I kept two things in mind when writing.
1) Use as little dialogue as possible! This was my first real script (with a beginning, middle, and end). I didn't have much practice writing dialogue at the time. So I didn't want my character's way of talking to take the reader out of the story. Also, in a lot of Japanese films it's more visual. The characters rarely say anything. Lucky me this worked out. I didn't want the characters to say anything and it fits in with the Japanese style I was going for.
2) Keep it simple (Japanese simple). I told myself not to add anything that might make me stray from the main idea. And the main idea is to "show the audience we need to connect with the people around us (such as friends and family), and being on our phones all the time is stopping us from doing that."
After writing these two rules down, I put the people I saw on the streets into the world of KNI (Koko Ni Inai). All the parents I've seen giving their little kids a phone or tablet to keep them busy, the groups of friends together but on their phones, parents playing on their phone and ignoring their kid, and the groups of friends pretending to have fun in their photos to look happy for social media. I used these people to build KNI's society. The story was slowly coming together.
In the last class, before summer break started, the professor said there was going to be a screenplay competition between all of the screenwriting 1 classes. "First, each class will vote on the top screenplay from each class. The judges will read the chosen scripts and then pick the top 3. The winner will win some money, and there will be 2 runner-ups."
I was packing up my stuff to get ready to leave. I didn't care about the competition. I've entered a lot of photography and art competitions (mind you they all those online competitions) and I got rejected so much it doesn't sting anymore. I worked really hard for some of them and I never got anything out of it. So with this class competition, I didn't expect anything. I said to myself "Who cares. I'm just going to write what I want."
Also, I had a feeling this one student in my class was going to win. He wrote some great dialogue between two characters at a bar. One of the characters pulled out a doorknob from his pocket and...and-I don't know how to explain it, but the writer put so much meaning into that doorknob in less than a page I was like "Whoa!" That kid is a writer right there.
During spring break I was traveling to see my friends and my sister at their schools while working on the script. One of those friends I got to see was Seiichi. He's from Japan and for some reason decided to attend a college in New Hampshire (which is where we met before I studied abroad). I told him about my story but I couldn't tell if he was interested in it or not. He was pretty busy with his finals (he'll appear again in a later blog). Thanks to my friend Ashely, I also got to see most of my old hallmates from freshman year. Almost all of them were music majors. In our dorm, we had some nice times singing and hanging out in the hallway together.
When I was visiting we had dinner and were catching up. One of my hallmates was Dimitrios (if you read the crew bios you'd know who this guy is). I think I remember him saying he wanted to go into music scoring for films. At the time, he was making some music for Anata No Ato de (I watched it. It's really good). I made a note to myself thinking if I ever need music for a film I should ask him. Funny thing was I completely forgot about my "note to self" and what he said for a long time.
The next person I had to visit was my sis Peri (for those who checked out the crew's bios you did a good job!). On the train ride to see her in upstate NY, I was writing down a bunch of notes for the script. I giggled to myself as I looked out the window. Didn't J.K Rowling write the train scene in book 1 of Harry Potter when she was riding a train?
When I got home I typed it all out. I just made it to 15 pages. The ending I have to say was similar to a Japanese film ending. It left the two characters happy but there was no real conclusion about the message. I didn't know much about endings, but I thought it fit the Japanese tone I was going for.
I left it as is.
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