Short DPXDC Prompts #251

As a way to not be reckognized by civillians, Danny’s core masks his true form by appearing to others as the person they have mourned the most. Only differences is white hair, hazmat suit, inhumanly paper white skin tone, and toxic green eyes. The Justice League meets Danny. Who do they see?

@xorcists​   asked    :    [    HAUNTED   HOUSE    ]    :    sender   and   receiver   sneak   off   while   going   through   a   fake   haunted   house   to   have   sex .     from   Steve   for   Jamie   bc   I'm   trash .

lovett   clears   out   their   inbox .

                    ONE   WOULD   THINK   THIS   was   jamie’s   idea   ,   all   things   considered .     but   ,   no .     the   sexy   times   in   the   haunted   house   idea   is   all   steve’s .     it’s   halloween   night   and   jamie   had   wanted   to   go   through   a   haunted   house   ,   in   the   spirit   of   the   season .     they’ve   just   come   from   a   relatively   lame   costume   party   ,   steve   dressed   as   steve   trevor   from   the   wonder   woman   comics   at   jamie’s   behest    (    she’d   practically   begged   him   to   do   it   ,   since   he’d   wanted   to   go   as   another   tom   cruise   character    )    and   jamie   dressed   as   the   title   character   herself .     they’ve   been   through   the   haunted   house   once   and   she   wanted   to   go   through   it   again   ,   since   it’d   been   so   fun .     what   she   didn’t   expect   was   for   steve   to   yank   her   into   a   room   not   in   use   off   to   the   side   of   the   main   path   and   start   pawing   at   her   like   a   teenaged   boy   in   heat .     apparently   ,   the   costume   really   gets   to   him .     and   ,   who   is   jamie   to   turn   him   down   ?     this   whole   situation   is   really   fucking   hot   ,   if   she’s   being   honest .     the   fact   that   they   could   be   walked   in   on   at   any   given   second   is   a   major   turn   on   ,   as   well   as   the   way   that   steve   is   so   damn   aggressive   about   it .     she   could   really   get   used   to   this .     her   head   tilts   back   ,   a   soft   whine   escaping   her   as   steve   sucks   hickeys   onto   her   neck   while   grabbing   harshly   at   her   waist .     she   falls   back   against   the   wall   ,   or   maybe   he   pushes   her   there   ,   fingers   hooking   into   the   belt   loops   on   his   pants   and   tugging   insistently .     they   have   to   be   quick   or   the   chances   of   getting   caught   and   thrown   into   jail   for   indecent   exposure   goes   up .     and   ,   jamie’s   already   weak   in   the   knees   and   fucking   leaking   all   over   her   skimpy   costume   for   him   ,    ❛   steve   ,   please   ...   ❜    she   whines   pleadingly   ,   one   hand   running   through   his   hair   while   the   other   latches   onto   the   erection   which   is   straining   through   his   pants .

The Bad Guys Win

Hey there, voiceless alveolar lateral fricatives. Well, we're down to our last issue of Forever Evil. What's next? I dunno. I'll worry about that next week. Let's finish this issue before we move on to the next~

Here's the last cover:

Fighting, fighting, fighting. Unlike the previous issue, we're back to the less interesting covers. At least it's more than just a team shot! But it's just kind of a general mess. Like, this is the imagery you want to go out on? I mean , I have no doubt it's indicative of the content of the issue, but it's not the best. Just a big jumble of characters. Again, none of these covers have been necessarily bad, but neither have they been anything remarkable or stand-out.

So Batman's still straddling Lex Luthor, and this isn't one of those weird fanfictions or anything. Nah, he's just choking him out because Lex let Nightwing die last issue. Lex's suit zaps Batman off, and he gets up. He explains he didn't let Nightwing die. He let him flatline. He gave him a drug that induced heart-stoppage long enough to deactivate the bomb that was wired into it. And now he's got to give him an adrenaline shot, or else the heart-stoppage won't start up again. And when Nightwing awakens again, he and Batman embrace. Inspired, Bizarro also leans in to embrace Lex, to his consternation.

Ultraman lands outside, noting how the lightning struck from inside the satellite. This means they've released his prisoner and let him speak. And speaking of, he determines Captain Cold and Black Manta are merely human, and therefore of no interest/help to him. He also flies away. Everybody's flying off somewhere, and before Batman's group can do the same, suddenly there's an explosion, and Grid's head comes rolling in the doorway. And the one who did it stands revealed: Cyborg's repaired and fully functional once again, baby~

It's here where the groups split up. Since Lex has no interest in saving the League, he and Bizarro go off on their own while Cyborg leads the rest to the sublevels where Firestorm is being held. But before they go, Lex offers his hand to Batman and wishes him good luck. And, to his credit, after a moment's consideration, Batman reciprocates, shaking Lex's hand and wishing him luck as well. Honestly, good show for both of them. No need to be assholes here. And especially good show for Lex, as he reveals that he used the handshake as a distraction to pickpocket the Kryptonite ring from Batman... So maybe a little bit of an asshole~

Ultraman exposits to Deathstorm a bit, reminding him (and thus the audience) that Alexander Luthor uses the lightning of Mazahs to gain the powers of any Crime Syndicate members he kills. So it'd do for them to avoid getting killed. They theorise that perhaps Superwoman's Lasso of Submission might be able to break Alexander Luthor's will. But she's not here. Where is she? Why, she's with Alex (who I'm just going to shorten to that, for simplicity), the father of her child. Turns out it's not Ultraman's or Owlman's. She's turned traitor on the Syndicate because Alex is just more powerful.

Ultraman and Alex begin their knockdown fight, while Superwoman binds up Deathstorm. All the supervillains reunite with Lex and Bizarro and show up to watch the spectacle. Alex slams Ultraman into a cliff, then flies down to the restrained Deathstorm. With his bare hands, he crushes Deathstorm's skull, absorbing his nuclear powers for his own. Well, that can't be good. After all, now he's radioactive. He even goes off in a big explosion, destroying the rest of his body as Alex steals his powers. He then turns his attention on Lex's group.

While that's going on, Batman and friends enter Firestorm's holding cell. He's not doing so hot either. Actually, he might be doing too hot. He could go nuclear at any moment. But Batman reveals he has a secret weapon: a delivery from Steve Trevor. It's Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth. With great luck, perhaps they can connect to her through it. But while Batman's trying to forge that connection in his least gruff manner, someone sneaks up on them. Owlman's discovered his murdered butler, and now he's come for Nightwing.

The fight with the Injustice Gang continues, and Lex has Captain Cold recount what he saw back to him. And Cold, for his part, remembers all the specifics, and is even able to tell Lex the special word that Alex spoke to activate his powers. Almost as if reacting to this, Alex comes for Lex next. Bizarro intercepts him, dragging the fight away. And whatever else he is, Alex recognises that Bizarro has powers. And thus, he wants them. Alex rips out Bizarro's heart, to Lex's genuine horror. Alex flies away, and Lex lands at Bizarro's side. He promises he can fix him. That's an unhealthy relationship, Lex. But Bizarro dies nonetheless.

Lex swears vengeance. He may have been just a monster, but he was Lex's monster. Nobody wrecks Lex's stuff. Captain Cold takes him out of the rain, since they have to repair his suit anyway. Black Manta and Deathstroke are down, but Sinestro and Black Adam turn up. Lex instructs them thus: since Alex's power is like Adam's, all it takes is a word to draw the lightning. Sinestro will realign Adam's jaw long enough for him to speak, then redirect the lightning through the lightning rod Lex also got from Batman. They fly off again, Sinestro buddying up to Adam a bit over their shared love of fascist rule.

This plan goes off pretty flawlessly. The only complication is that Adam's lightning is different from Alex's. It hurts him, but it doesn't depower him. Different universes, different magic. Alex lands and recognises who started this: himself. He and Lex are basically the same person, just alternate universes. But Alex declares himself to be superior. Smarter. Harder, better, faster, stronger.

Lex admits that even if all that's true, they're still the same. And have the same voice. So he grabs the lightning rod still stuck into Alex and repeats his own magic word: MAZAHS! And with Alex back in his human form, Lex agrees that he may be all those things, but he's not smarter. And he kills his alternate self.

Lex doesn't have long to gloat over his victory, though, as Ultraman turns up and throws a tree at Lex. Lex promises to kill him too, using a blast from his suit designed to simulate solar radiation to harm Ultraman. He's realised sunlight is his weakness. And that's why Sinestro and Black Adam are moving the moon back into place and undoingg the eclipse. The sunlight weakens Ultraman, and has a second bonus effect: it causes a spark in Firestorm, letting the heroes back out. The Justice League is free once more.

With the sun back, Lex taunts Ultraman. He's just like Alexander Luthor, he thinks his powers make him strong. And yet here Lex stands: no powers, top of both of them. He holds out the Kryptonite ring to tease Ultraman some more, then decides not to kill him. It's much more humiliating to leave him in this weakened state and force him to live his life like this. Atomica, who has just managed to crawl up from the rubble, however, is not so lucky. Since everything basically started with her, Lex reasons it should end with her too. And he stomps her to death.

The League may be back, but there's still trouble. Offscreen (or perhaps before the start of the event), Atomica had put a small sliver of Kryptonite inside Superman's head with her shrinking powers. He's dying at present, and while they're great heroes, they're not brain surgeons. So Lex turns up to volunteer. I don't think he's a brain surgeon either, but none of the League are in a position to argue. And soon enough, Lex has saved the life of his greatest enemy. After all, why shouldn't he?

So the next day, the League pretty much admits the villains saved the day. They reward them by wiping out their records, but most of the villains (especially foreign dignitary Black Adam and space-faring Sinestro) don't care about that. Black Manta is only glad Aquaman's not dead, returning his trident and presumably declaring further vengeance later. Captain Cold is just sad, coz he doesn't have anyone to hang out with anymore. Lex, however, thinks of the lot of them, Catwoman's likely to be the one who can turn her life around. Heck, maybe even she and Batman could hook up and get married someday, as long as a really stupid story contrivance doesn't get in the way~

As life gets back to normal, Ted Kord drops by Lex's office. You remember the start of the series, Lex was doing a ruthless buyout from Ted's father? Ted's here to complete the deal. But as Ted offers Kord Industries, Lex instead turns down the offer. He instead offers Ted some words of encouragement and a promise of advice if he needs it. Ted's pretty touched, assuring Lex that what everyone says about him is true: he's one of the good guys. And when Ted leaves, Lex turns his attention to his upcoming projects.

One, he's regrowing a new Bizarro. It'll be another five years again, but he'd like his monster back. Two, the Justice League are missing a couple members. The Crime Syndicate won't talk. Of the three left, Ultraman just won't stop crying, Owlman is MIA, and Superwoman won't stop talking about her damn baby. And the third thing... Wel, given how protective Batman was of Nightwing... And with Nightwing's identity now being public knowledge... Lex has put the pieces together. The shared background of murdered parents, the adoption... Lex knows Batman is Bruce Wayne.

And if wondering what he'll do with that knowledge isn't enough of a cliffhanger, the comic ends with Superman also coming to a conclusion himself. What could scare the Crime Syndicate enough that they'd jump universes? What's powerful enough? Naturally, he concludes that it's the same thing that brought the League together to begin with: Darkseid must be returning.

But as the comic truly ends, we cut over to someone reporting to whoever's consuming the power of the Crime Syndicate's universe, promising to find them another. And it isn't Darkseid they're reporting to. Consuming whole universes? This looks like a job for the Anti-Monitor...

Didn’t think I’d get one more of those in there, did you~?

In conclusion, Forever Evil is a pretty good event story. It’s a neat character piece for Lex Luthor. You get to see him at his most crafty and smartest. But also you get to see that hidden heart of humanity he has. Lex may be an amoral ruthless businessman and a supervillain. But there are certainly worse people out there.

And also, for a major DC event comic? Especially for one post-New 52? Nobody died. Think about it! There’s no shock deaths here! The only deaths in the event itself are several of the Crime Syndicate (who are supreme assholes and we don’t care) and Bizarro (who was introduced in the event, so it doesn’t count). They try to fake you out with Nightwing, but he lives. The only thing they killed was his superhero career, turning him into that secret agent storyline for a while. I’m actually surprised that went on for 20 issues. Hmm...

All in all, a good event. Probably one of the last ones I ever read, because my comic shop closed up not long after this event. Haven’t really kept up on them since, so I don’t actually know what that Anti-Monitor bit led into. Darkseid War, I think? Never read it, and it certainly won’t be the next thing we cover. As for what that will be... Stay tuned~

Wonder Woman 1984 Review “The Monkey’s Paw Wish of Superhero Movies”

Before we dig in,  I just want to properly frame how much of a fucking disapointment this film was to me. It was thanks to the first film that I became the massive Wonder Woman fan I am today. Thanks to that movie and it’s accompanying sale, as Comixology likes to put sales on to tie into things as you’d expect, I tried Greg Rucka’s run on the title.. and quickly bought the second volume and will buy the third which didn’t exist yet at some point, as it’s easily one of my faviorite comics of all time, one i’ll undoubtly cover, and one that throughly sold me on the amazon princess, and throughly defined what she is to me: a compasionate warrior. Someone who WILL fight, who will take on the bad guys without hesitation, and who WILL kill if she has to.. but also someone whose compationate. Who will genuinely try to reform foes, who only kills as a last resort and not as a first option like some adaptations and the new 52 seem to think. She’s someone who in said run went out of her way to help her old friend and currently brainwashed foe Vanessa Kapetlis get cured of being the silver swan. She’s someone whose wholhe purpose for writing a book wasn’t money but simply to spread her people and her gods teachings. Someone whose , kind, noble, badass, smart and easily every bit the pure soul superman is. The run sold me on the character throughly and made me a fan to this day, one currently pouring thorugh both Rucka’s second run, and George Perez’ equally good run and one who hopes the upcoming dc relaunch means she’ll stop swapping writers every few months and get the run she deserves.  I just wanted to sell how much I treasured the character now thanks to the first movie and thus how hyped beyond hype I was for this movie. It had a great cast, a great setting, cool trailers.. sure they didn’t show off the plot but it had to be good right? This couldn’t be say.. a giant, overly long mess of tangled plots, padding, terrible pacing, unfortunate implications and pedro pascal devouring the scenery in a manner galactus would be proud of right? 

Well that’s what we got. After a year of hoping it’d come out some way this year, after having it delayed and after a year where MANY projects I loved were necessarily delayed due to covid... I got what I wanted. I got the movie i’d been hoping to see for months and months and months... and just like the wishes in the movie itself... it went horribly, horribly wrong. What I expected was something great as the other recent DC Movies.. what I got was a huge disapointing mess capping off a huge disapointing mess of a year. So while i’m a bit late due to contracting Covid and all the “FUN” that comes with that, I still felt like tearing into this film to figure out why I didn’t like it, what good parts it did have, and what the hell went wrong here. Spoilers and full review after the cut. 

The Plot:  Unlike my usual summaries I do, i’m keeping this one short and susicnt for those who haven’t seen the film: After a cold open flashback to diana’s childhood that was an omen of the boring padding to come, we get our main plot: It’s 1984 and Diana is acting in semi secret and helping out where she can. After some artifact thefts she takes a job at a museum and meets meek nerdy nerdy and office punching bag Barbra Minerva. The two strike up a kind of friendship, with Barbra wishing she could be as cool as diana especially after Diana saves her from being assaulted by a creepy random asshole. 

Diana hasn’t moved on from Steve Trevor’s death in the previous film, and thus when encountering a mysterious stone wishes for him to come back. Barbra likewise wishes fto be just like diana. Meanwhile Maxwell Lord, a conman who has sold a bunch of bogus oil plots, plots to steal the stone himself and does so by seducing Barbra, and instead of wishing for more wishes, wishes to GRANT THEM instead, thus overnight making his buisness a sucess and using the inevitible monkey’s paw consequences of said wishes to benifit himself.  Meanwhile Diana is reunited with Steve who for some reason has hyjacked someone elses body, and even has sex with Diana in it which is all kinds of creepy and wrong that we’ll get into soon enough. Meanwhile everyone now notices Barbara.. and she’s also gaining Diana’s powers but slowly loosing her empathy.  Diana eventually finds out with Barba’s help that the stone is dangerous and it’s wishes backfire horribly, while Max continues to gain power with his as Diana chases after him, slowly loosing her own power as her consequence for the wish. You know instead of the fact her lover took someone elses body and life and they have to live with that. Eventually Max gets the power of a soverign nation and the satilte codes off the president, and plans to broadcast himslef the the world to offset his own wish consequence, his body slowly failing, by taking other people’s health.  Steve urges Diana to renounce her wish and give him up to get her power back, she reluctnantly and painfully does so, and then goes after Max. Barbra however has sided with max and has him give her even more power turning her into a cat person as you’d expect. Wonder woman and the now fully cat Cheetah battle, it’s really cool looking, but Diana barely wins. We do get a decent climax with Diana not fighting max, not that she can with how powerful she’s become, but using the lasso of truth to get him to see the damage he’s done, give up and go back to his son. The world is saved Diana is moving on and also Linda Carter is there for some reason. 

So now you have  general idea of what happens, I can dig into the films faults, and it’s one or two strengths, one at a time, ONE AT A TIME. First off the film’s biggest issue by far and one that wouldn’t come through in the recap Padding and Pacing: THIS FILM DID NOT NEED TO BE 2 hrs 41 min

I said it once before but it bears repeating now:

THIS FILM DID NOT NEED TO BE 2 HOURS AND 41 MINUTES LONG

I am a firm belivier a film should be as long or short as it needs to be. If it’s under the standard 90 minutes, that’s cool, if it’s say three hours like avengers endgame that’s cool too. After the theater it’s easy enough to watch it in chunks, and sometimes a film just NEEDS that space and scope. 

This film.. did not need that. This is not the cumilation of 10 years of storytelling, as slapdashidly planned as it was till phase 3, this is a film that feels painfully long to watch due to how padded it is. You could’ve cut those 40 mintues from this film EASILY and while you wouldn’t of had a good film, sadly, you would’ve had a way more enjoyable cheesy superhero movie. I”m tackling this one first because it just.. oozes all over the film. For every great and memorable bit in the movie and every questionable one we’ll get to, for every gloriously so bad it’s good moment... there’s about 10 minutes of scene that did not need to be there. It slows down the film to a crawl and given the original had pitch perfect pacing I do not get how Patty Jenkins screwed this up. 

I do think Patty Jenkins is a good director. I did like the first movie, I do think a lions share of the credit goes to her writing and direction for that one. And a LOT of the sequences in this film are utterly goregously shot and fun to watch. I also, even if I don’t like this film, am extastic she forced the stuido to pay her more money to work on the film, as she deserves as much as any male director, it’s bullshit they tried to short change her, and again she was the reason the first film was so good. She deserved equal fucking pay for making Warner money hand over fist. 

But I also say this because i’m disapointed in HER. She CAN do better, she already did the first time and the only real down spot, the spotty cgi climax, was not her fault. And hell here she did get the climax she wanted, and wrote one hell of one. I”ll go into it more later but the finale of this movie from the pitch perfect fight with cheetah, dodgy face work nonwithstanding, to the final speech to the world is just gorgeous to watch. Even in this mess of a film there are some really good really tightly shot sequences that i’ll get to.. but their broken up by padding and padding nad more padding. This film is bloated, it needed to be edited down but she clearly REFUSED TO, gunshy after the whole Ares thing last time... and thus shot herself in the foot repeadtly. I sitll have some hope for the next movie and Rogue Squadron, but Jenkins rightfully lost any blind faith I had in her this film would be good just as the directors of it chapter 2 lost it by.. making a terrible sequel to a great movie. Given this happened in the span of a year you’d THINK i’d of prepared myself for that.. but no. Sadly.. no. 

But back to the point of this section: the film is just really padded. A lot of it is just scenes going on longer than they need to but there are some specific bits, some recurring others all in one go, that just really get tedious and pad things out. Let’s rattle em off shall we? The Opening: Now the opening is gorgeously shot, and it is nice to see Thymesicra again.. but the sequence is twiece as long as it needed to be, often just devolves into frantic shots of running.. and really dosen’t need to be here. I love Thymesicra, I love Hipolita, I love this damn beautiful island.. but we did not need it for this one. I THOUGHT it was there because the climax would be Max and Barbra invading the island or something.. but no. It has nothing to do with the main plot other than selling the film’s message “Nothing good comes from lies and shortcuts” which is a good message.. but the film already conveys that well. For all it’s flaws it well conveys the fact that the easy way to get what you want ALWAYS comes with a cost. That you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need. So we didn’t need 10 minutes of amazons running around just to make a point that the film already makes and it wreaks of Warner wanting to put the amazons in the film because “that’s what people expect.” 

Steve Trevor Dinking Around for 20 Minutes: I will admit as dumb as it was.. I really loved the Steve Trevor 80′s fashion show. Oh it was dumb.. beyond belieif.. but it’s REALLY hard to hate a good 5 minutes of chris pine putting on stupid 80′s outfits. I do think like a lot of this film it was longer than it needed to be and it defintely needed a good catchy 80′s tune alongside it, just go full bollocks if your doing this, but otherwise it’s just hard not to joy, even if in a so bad it’s good kind of way, this kind of lunacy in a major stuido film

That goodwill died quckily as the next 15 goddamn minutes, 5 for the fashion show which while i liked it did not need to be in the film as long as it was, were just steve getting used to the new world of the 80′s. While I like the idea of Steve now in Diana’s roll as stranger in a strange land, instead of using it cleverly or having him ruminate over all his friends being dead Captain America style or .. a billion other things we could’ve used this time for if you really needed it, we instead just get Steve and Diana farting around for 20 minutes and Chris Pine making stupid faces. Chris Pine deserved better than this. He seems to be a steerling person in his personal life and I seriously doubt he’s done any movie bad enough to have earned this.. I mean he did do Star Trek: Into Darkness but NONE of those films problems were his fault. It’s just really, REALLY terrible, and even more boring in padded in places than this film but without the good bits or the haminess of pedro pascal to make it even remotely watchable. Point is i’m doing a blind look, and this is blind I just came up with tihs bit while I was writing and have not looked at chris pine’s filmography before, to see if there’s anything really bad enough to justify him being put through this buffonery. 

Turns out .. yeah yeah he did. Two films in fact are just bad enough that he did in fact sign on to something bad enough to justify this. There were one or two other contenders but Princess Diaries 2 was earlier in his career, Into The Woods much like Into Darkness was not his fault and honestly if I were offered a part in a glitzy hollywood adaptation of a beloved musical i’d sign on too without heistation, and while Wrinke in Time is kind of a mess, Chris Pine is easily one of the best parts of it.  No the two films that make him DESERVE the goofy terrible fish out of water stuff are this means war, a film I saw throughly savaged by Matthew “Film Brain” Buck, which is about two douchey cia agents competing over a woman without thinking that MAYBE the choice is hers, and also setting up CONSTNAT SURVILENCE over her and basically stalking her to sabatoge each others dates. And while I did mention that review, because it did give context.. even from the trailer I could tell this was sexist, bro douchey, and stupid and wanted no part of it. So yeah signing on this this, post star trek’s success where he had his pick of projects and was at the hight of his fame.. is inexcusable.  The other is just... the kind of embarassing dtv film a person does before they get famous but is so horrendously premised that I still can’t give it to him. Like I get needing work, I do comissions 10 for movies now and 5 for tv show episodes and issues of comics if you were curious, so I understand that.. but even at his most desperate... why would you possibly take... this?

.. wait is that Stephen Tobowsky in the credits? Good god his career is depressing some time.. but at least unlike chris I GET him being in this as he needs money and despite his long and storied career, has to take what he can get. Wheras Chris was a promsing young star who while needing a break, CAN’T of thought this would be remotely sucessful and can’t of paid that well. But since the poster might not convey the premise.. the premise is Chris is a Blind Man looking for love set up on BLIND DATES. 

It sounds like a fucking Adam Sandler film premise. I’m honestly suprised he hasn’t remade this film with himself, david spade, or rob schinder, whose apparently on good terms with him again, god help us all. And DON’T. TELL. HIM. He still hasn’t made that worst film imaginable he promised for getting Snubbed for Uncut Gems. Yes I know, Hubie Halloween came out but that was in production long before the promise and not that bad. Not great, pretty average, but not terrible. Point is do not tempt Adam Sandler to remake this film. He still owes us the worst film he can muster INTENTIONALLY, as Pixels, Rediculous Six, That’s My Boy? That was all him trying to make  GOOD movie. Be afraid be VERY afraid. The other point is this premise is just really bad, REALLY offensive to blind people to make being blind into a stupid punchline, and I.. will probably watch this at some point because i’m bafflingly curious about this terrible terrible thing Chris Pine probably wanted us all to forget about, but will now never have that luxury as long as I live. The Fireworks Scene: This one is just..really dumb. Like really dumb. Every bit of this scene was dumb and we could’ve just.. had them get on a plane to egypt like normal people or steal a jet off screen. So to get to Egypt, Diana and Steve steal a jet which Steve can somehow fly despite decades of progress in how planes work at this point and him not knowing what radar is. He also gets shot ot at because Diana FORGOT, somehow, that radar exists and didn’t tell him. They also steal a jet instead of just taking an airliner or her calling in a favor since while it’s been a good few decades and Etta is sadly long dead, the candy family probably knows and loves her well enough and probably still has some military personal who could pull some strings and bring a jet over from london. It’s a stretch.. but not much more than “let’s steal a plane and hope we don’t die. “

Why this is in the padding section is because we then get a way too long bit of the two flying through a field of fireworks.. which also apparently existed LONG before steve was even born, so I donn’t quite get why he’s so shocked. And while i’ts not a bad CONCEPT for a scene the fact the two are being persued by the military for stealing a jet AND have to get to egypt so urgently they had to steal the jet in the first place lest Max do something horrible, which he ends up doing anyway... to take 10 minutes to gaze at the pretty fireworks. It’s just.. a waste of time in a movie that wasted already too much time. 

Some of the barbra scenes: We’ll dive more into Barbra in a bit, and this is easily the least offesnive on this list, but a lot of the scnees of her discovering her new power could’ve been compressed. There are seperate scenes of her discovering she dosen’t need glasses anymore and picking up a ton of weight at the gym, while in 80′s workout clothes because of course she is. Both of those could’ve been one, either having her pick up something heavy like nothing casually or just having her glasses fall and break at the gym, have some cute guy help her up to help sell the wish making her feel noticed, and realize she don’t need em. It’s minor in comparison, but a good chunk of her plot badly needed to be streamlined. 

And those are just the main offenders. The film’s pacing in general is just attrocious. It takes half an hour for the plot to move along most of the time.. there’ ssome good character stufff but they could’ve better weaved it into the plot and in some Barbra scenes and most of Max’s they DID. It’s just for the most part there’s a lot of repttition of stuff we already knew and figured out and it takes forever for the plot to move to the next phase until the last half hour. And by then my niece was already in the kitchen playing with her new slime having enitrely checked out, my mom was asleep and my brother just wanted this film over already and both of us were only hanging in out of obligation. This film blows most of what little potetial it has taking too damn long to get to the point. As I said it’s fine for a film to be long.. but while Endgame had laggy sections and some of it’s own problems.. it USED the huge runtime effectivey, using the first hour to both show our heroes had truly lost, then to set up the post-time skip world and just what had become of our heroes and their arcs for the movies. The second hour is mostly the time heist, a fun tour through the mcu’s history that also helps progress arcs and the final act is basically one MASSIVE glorious battle featuring every single hero who hadn’t suffered a non-snap related death in one of the best big action scnenes i’ve ever seen. It was well crafted and it’s slower moments were for character stuff and not because they felt the film needed to feel as long as the rest of the year had felt.  But while it was the film’s main flaw and the main reason i’ts bad instead of mediocre..there’s one other massive flaw that utterly sinks the damn film and robs of it of a lot of it’s emotional weight The Character Assassination of Diana Prince:

Now we get to the part that really pisses me off one that was already kinda bad while watching but just got worse the more I thought about it: Diana’s Charcterization here. Despite being flawless in the first film.. here it’s just bad. It’s bad and it should feel bad. I can’t fathom how Jenkins lost touch so badly with the character, and I don’t think the Co-Writer Remotley helped.  The Co-Writer for this film was Geoff Johns, a dc wunderkind whose reinvented the flash, green lantern, the justice society of america and aquaman, all brilliantly. The last one was even largely the basis for his damn fun movie. I have a lot of respect for the man... but like a lot of creators he’s not immune to screwing up and has made a LOT of mistakes, the biggest being forcing Cyborg away from the titans and into the justice league not for diversity’s sake like he probably claims.. but really because he didn’t want to use John Stewart instead of Hal Jordan, who he has an odd obession with i’ve never gotten, something the incoming writer of Green Lantern, Geoffry Throne, turns out to have complained about for years, as well as apparnetly giving out about Jordan SO MANY TIMES, that an entire artcle was made revealing this... and I’m perfectly fine with that as it should be clear I don’t like Hal Jordan all that much and while he’s been in some good runs, the other earth lanterns are FAR more intersting than him and far more unique. Thankfully the new series seems to be focusing on multiple of them and while hal seems to be getting some focus, Simon and Jessica are the main stars of modern day. So hell yeah to that. Let’s get back to the actual point. 

The point being that one of his weaknesses as a writer.. is he really dosen’t get Wonder Woman. He just dosen’t. During Justice League he wrote her as a violent warrior and during Infinite Crisis, as expertly pointed out by LInkara during his review of it a few years back, he had her “not understand what being human is” .. despite this being at the SAME TIME as that Greg Rucka run I mentioned, meaning at the time of Inifnite Crisis, she had her own embassy for her people set up, had written a book, and had just spent a good chunk of that run trying to free an old friend who’d been brainwashed into a psychotic killing machine from her mechanical inhancments killing her and driving her insane. She willingly blinded herself with fucking snake venom to save the world from Medusa’s gaze and avenge a child THEN went on a long and arduous quest for the gods simiply to ressurect said child, with no intent of getting her sight back and only getting it back because Athena willingly gave hers up for being so noble. She is someone who is compatsionate, empathetic and noble. Not a kill happy warrior who loves fighting and blood. She fights because she has to, she does not hesitate and she does kill when needed.. but she is not some weird enigma to humanity. She’s throughly human despite being made of clay and not raised among regular humans. She’s a person, and Geoff just dosen’t get that. He get Superman, the flash, batman, other heroes just fine. He redefined aquaman well like I said. But for some damn reason he just dosen’t get Diana and can’t get a good grasp on her and while a good choice of co writer for practically any other dc movie and a good choice to right the ship for the dceu, he was the second possible worst choice to handle this character and likely is at least partially responsible for her character taking such a nosedive. By the way just in case you think better of him for only being second worst.. this is the worst. 

Yes that actually happened.. thankfully not in the main canon and likely because Frank Miller really REALLY needs to get some help. 

Point is he was a bad choice and while I still give Patty Jenkins some discredit for helping with this, I do feel Geoff easily could’ve agreed with or came up with some of the worse ideas here without really thinking them through because this simply isn’t a character he cares about what happens to her or knows that well.  Things START fine: in present day we get a pretty fun action sequence in a mall with what my brother called Dollar Store Micheal Keaton.. but because Max was already perfectly cast, there wasn’t room for this screen legend. Plus he was probably busy shooting Morbius for.. whatever his role is there. I hope it’s the vulture. My point is DSMK is delightfully hammy and weird and helps kick up an already fun mall sequence.. while I was apparnetly the ONLY one who enjoyed this cheesy but awesome sequence in my family aside from my niece, she hadn’t rightfully checked out at this point, I still love it. It does bring up the slight problem of Diana being active years before... but given The Suicide Squad with it’s vast colorful cast of supervillians and the fact the freaking Justice Society are getting introdcued and given their gimmick even if WWII isn’t involed this time they had to have been active for some time before they presumibly vanished. My point is the whole Zack Snyder thing of “Metahumans are new and you should fear them” has been quitely retconned out and this will all likely be explained with the whole flashpoint thing... (Shudders).. not the retcon the DCEU needs a good coat of paint and unlike the XCU I dont think their going to waste a second chance, I just want a flash film that’s actually about barry and not another adaptation of a storyline few people liked ot start with. Point is that’s not really a huge issue and I prefer DIana being active than the implication she did nothing and her doing small bits of heroisim, like saving a woman from getting hit by a car or resucing pets and bigger ones like the mall just .. fell like Diana. It’s all downhill from there though. For starters there’s Barbra. It starts well: Diana is the only person to not only notice Barbra but treat her nice, and the two strike up a friendship.. which I honeslty wish was more as there was a lot of potetial there and both have great chemistry, not to mention showing Diana’s bisexuality on screen would be a really damn good move forward for representation, but that’s more on me and given how homophobic big companies can be, i’m unsuprised Warner wouldn’t let Patty take that route. 

Point is it starts well enough.. but instead of the two actually having a deep freindship and possible relationship that is heartbreaking when it’s broken.. Diana just sort of forgets about her except when she needs her for the plot, and thus what should’ve been an emotionally breaking subplot leading to an utterly heartbreaking fight at the climax.. was just Diana being a dick, taking advantage of someone, and then getting a bit self righteous when the person you basically abandoned and didn’t notice made a wish till it was too late wants to keep the one thing that’s ever made her feel special. 

It dosen’t help the comics did this whole thing better and is likely where Jenkins got the inspiration: During Rebirth Barbara Minvera was converted from a vicious ruthless bitch and a half, if still a brilliant character, to a tragic figure: one who while a bit cold and standofish, was genuinely diana’s friend, tricked into thinking she was abandoned, then became the bride of a horrifying god who punsiheed her for the “crime”.. of not being a virgin. While removing the whole cat god thing is understandable.. they removed pretty much everything that made that intresting and Rucka worked hard to make for a cliche “Nerd becomes evil” plot that’s been done a milion times nad makes dsiana look horrible.  But while this is bad.. it PALES in comparisoin to the elephant in the room here. 

No no elephant sweetie not wild pig. No.. it’s once Diana makes her wish on the magical wishing stone form the trickster god.. and brings steve back. See her bringing him back only for her to have to give him up to save the world.. that’s not bad. It’s a great way to bring chris pine back, ratchet up tension and ultimately give her proper closure for steve so she can move on.  The problem.. is HOW steve comes back and how the movie handles that. Steve comes back.. by possesing some random guy. That itself is not a bad idea, as while it’s weird, A) I’m a weirdo and proud of it so i’mf ine with weird and B) it gives us a price to the wish like the other wishes: steve comes back.. but he has to take someone else’s life to do so. Diana has to sacrifice an innocent man she dosen’t know anything about in order to get her happy ending. That could’ve lead to some great drama, with Diana realizing how wrong this is and forcing herself to give him up with Steve’s blessing, as Steve would likewise not feel right about this. He could’ve had family or a girlfriend or something that were jeaporadzied if Diana kept Steve.  The problem.. is they handled it horribly. really horribly. Diana and Steve.. almost NEVER mention the fact that he’s basically taken a life. They don’t ask if the guy is dead, they don’t ask who he was and they don’t try to find a way to get him a new body or a dying one or some other ghost can’t do it style shenanigan. And the fact i’m comparing this subplot to ghost can’t do it should tell you this is very bad. And it gets worse as the two have sex.. and whiel I dind’t think about it while watching the movie... afterwords? Yeah.. that’s.. that’s rape. The guy didn’t consent to letting them use his body. Now granted if Steve could leave the body at willand the guy was like “Sure why not” then that’d be fine.. but he has no way of consenting. Sure STEVE did.. but this ain’t his property. This isn’t his body to decide who he fucks. It’s random guy whose body he stole. Hell they didn’t even stop to consider if this guy might be gay which given Diana is bisexual makes no goddamn sense. So that’s another possible layer of wrong on this sundae of what the actual hell. I mean.. how do you bungle writing so bad your main character ends up as a rapist? That’s a special kind of incompetence in 2020 I tell you. 

It just turns Diana from a kind noble woman who looks out for everyone.. into a creepy asshole who willingly sacrifices some guy she dosen’t know, something a well written Diana would NEVER do, to get what she wants. This is not diana prince. This is “out of the way sperm bank” levels of charactera assasination” and the fact steve has to talk her into letting him go just makes it worst. Diana here is selifhs, unsympathetic and terrible and it brings the whole film down despite Gal Godot’s best efforts to try and make this work. She fails.. but it’s not on her as an actress, she’s terrific, but on the writing for Diana being so bad. She just comes off as selfish and irredemible and i’ts horrifying to see. As one last note Steve is reduced to more of a cutout this time, so any possible emotinal weight not already destroyed by the rape is entirley missing. Just good god they did Diana dirty for this one. And it dosen’t help her villians.. are done much better. Speaking of..

Barbra: A Mixed Cat Out of a Mixed Bag As the title should make clear Barbra is kind of a mixed bag. On the one hand.. Kristin Wiig is fantastic. Like holy crap I had some small doubts about her being cast in the role but she nailed both the sweet put upon nerd at the start and the ruthless individual desperate to stay special at the end really well and the reason her scenes aren’t as draggy despite a lot being padding are Wiig just really sells the transformation, going from being giddy at a sudden influx of attention to feeling powerful.. to feeling dangerous and being deseprate to do whatever it takes to hold onto her power and being furious when she looses it.  The problem is.. it’s all in the acting. Writing wise the story is horribly cliche. It’s why her having feelings for Diana was a suggestion that popped into my head: that’s actually intresting. A put upon nerd who envy’s a hero but ends up instead resenting them and wanting to kill them isn’t new. Amazing Spider-Man 2, which I thankfully haven’t seen but has that plot, Incredibles, and the one that the movie steals from the most.. Batman Returns. While wanting to kill the hero wasn’t part of that one, the whole “blonde whose still attractive even before the makeover has some supernatural thing happen to her and turns into an extrovert with a cat motif who is determined to take what she wants despite the cost.” While i’ts not 1 for 1, mostly becasue Catwoman actually had a romantic relationship with the hero, it’s REALLY hard to ignore just how much it seems to curb from Returns. And I haven’t even seen the movie the whole way through, just about half, really need to, not the point. Point is, it just feels like a rehash of a better done version of the plot.  And the sad part is the comics GAVE Patty and Geoff two much better versions that could’ve followed the same path. Pre-Rebirth/Flashpoint, she was a ruthless woman from the getgo and simply could’ve been that, being friends with Diana.. but being too selfish and envious to truly let her in and thus relishing in her new power and showing off who she really was. The other, and better option for the narrative is the previously mentioned rebirth one: A sarcastic and hard but likeable woman who has had to scrape and claw to do what she loves, which is archelogy, despite her father being vastly against it because he’s a dick. Someone who through tragic misunderstanding becomes a tragic monster. That latter version would’ve fit in perfectly, having her like diana and just want to be her.. but a combination of her own inseucrites and the stone strip away her empathy and increase her jealousy and Diana neglecting her could’ve been a concious choice: Diana being too busy with steve and stopping max to see what was happening and thus be heartbroken to fight her true friend. Instead we just get.. catwoman but less good. Wiig tries her best and often succeeds but even she can’t really fix this.  It also dosen’t help that selfishness aside.. Barbra is far more sympathetic. She’s contantly put upon and ignored by her cowowkres nad even her boss, who oftne forgets she works there, and finally meets someone who seems to care.. onlyf or that person to ignore her and go off and have adventures and really horribly implicated sex. So she wishes to be like this person, to be confident and loved and able to walk in heels and strong and gets it and slowly looses who she was to it. Hell the moment where she apparently CROSSES THE LINE by possibly killing some guy.. is entirely ruined by picking the wrong target. Instead of it being her boss or one of her co workers who mockeda nd humilated her.. i’ts the same guy who tried to assault her out for revenge. She’s beating up.. a bad person. She’s doing what Diana would do in a good way..

Sure she does take a turn for the evil, after hearing about the wishing stone destroying civilizations.. she sides with max.. but she’s still more sympathetic. Her resintment of Diana which should just be the meta commentary Jenkins intended on relationships between women where it becomes competitive due to societal bullshit, instead comes off justifed. Diana abandoned her, Diana is also being selfish with her wish, diana raped a man, Diana wants Max to stop.. but has to be TALKED into letting her wish go. While Diana is trying to save the world you can’t fault Barbra for not trusting her. For someone who preaches honesty, all Diana is to Barbra is a liar. While she does side with Max who earlier manipualted her by seducing her and stealing the stone... she KNOWS he’s not a great person, and this time instead of being the used, she’s the user. She knows he can make her even STRONGER, knows he can let her keep being who she wants to be if not BETTER, and knows he needs someone on his side.. and knows he won’t screw her over with her wish since he needs Diana off his back to become powerful enough to face her. Barbra comes off as cunning, manipulative and way more likeable than the hero, instead of the tragic villian she was inteded as. If nothing else, if she shows up in the sequel I will watch it even after this one was pretty damn bad and hopefully sh’ell be better written next time to match Wiig’s hard work. Now.. i’ve saved the best for last as while i’ve compalined a lot.. there is ONE aspect of the film that is genuinely good and while I get not everyone liked it.. Is urea s hell did

Maxwell Lord: Perdo Pascal Saves this film by eating the set whole like galactus. 

Maxwell Lord.. is the best part of this movie. Easily. Unlike the other main characters, he’s written well, acted well if hammy as all hell, and is true to the comics. Part of this I freely admit is that when I heard Max was a villian here I expected none of his JLI version to survivie. I should explain.. in the comics Max is defined by two diffrent phases of how he was written; The first was in Giffen and Demattis run on justice league, which was more of an action comedy with emphasis on the comedy> There was still serious stuff and villians to face, it’s just our heroes were a bunch of likeable misfits and b-list heroes doing their best while cracking jokes and disfunctionally clashing with one another. It’s good stuff.  Max was the heart of that: a selfish manipulative buisness man who grew to like the league and rebelled against the robot intellegence that got him that far, earning him a fair spot on the team. Sure he was a sleazy, shady 80′s buisness man, but he has a good heart underneath the opprotunsitic nature. 

Come the run up to infinite crisis despite being a metahuman, he started irationally hating metahumans, claimed to have always hated them, and set up a vast conspriacty to kill em all. He also hyjacked superman, which lead to Wonder Woman being forced to snap his neck and being booed for it by superman despite the fact you know.. she was trying to stop him from killing batman and had no other cohice. The rest of the world got the clip out of context.. but even then she’d already killed months ago for the medusa thing I mentioned before, and despite Medusa only speeking ancient greek, the world, which tihs was broadcast too hence the danger of medusa killing trillions of viewers watching at home, they got the context that Wonder Woman was the good guy and was killing for good reason. It was just.. kind of stupid even if Rucka did his best with it is what i’m saying. 

Point is there were two maxes: the sleazy and manipulative but well meaning buisness man and semi-con man and the manipulative but well intentioned master mind. So the movie.. combined both beautifully. He’s a manipulator as always, having set up a ponzi scheme and getitng called out on it by what turned out to be Simon Stagg.. who for some reason is the virtious if assholish buisness man here despite in the comcis being an utterly corrupt asshole constnatly ttrying to prevent his daughter from marrying this guy

This is Metamorpho, the element man, archelogist Rex Mason who thanks to the orb of Ra turned into this guy, an embodiment of the elments who can transmute his body into anything on the perodic table. Why HE hasn’t been in a movie yet his nemisis now has been is beyond me and there are better dc businessmen to have used. 

Point is this Max is shady, ambitious and sleazy.. and badly failing his scheme falling around him. But his reason for wanting to be a rich, powerful man after growing up a poor immigrant.. is utterly symapthetic. He has a son in this adaptation and wants to make him proud. I’ts CLEARLY not his only motivation, he also just wants to be proud and the finale reveals hsi father was abusive, and his classmmates alienated him for being an immigrant. He has a chip on his shoulder due to having a rough life and just wanting his moment in the sun. It makes Max relatable: His actions are NOT okay but we get why he merges with the wishing stone: because this is his shot. And most of the people he fucks over with his wishes.. are bad people. he cons some good people sure but Stagg is an asshole and the prince he cons wants to kick foreigners out of his homeland. Max, like Barbra, while not a GOOD person still is more likeable than diana.  He just.. feels like Max. He’s what Max could’ve been if he gave into the power instead of fighting against it. If he'd teamed up with the alien robot thing to take over the world instead of resiting it. So while he’s a bad guy like he’s been sadly turned into in the comics.. he feels like a CONVINCING version of Max as a bad guy. Like he genuinely turned evil of his own will and his own ambition. 

It also helps he’s written compitently. Unlike Diana, whose entirely miswritten to a point NO amount of good acting and no amount of Gal Godot’s talents could save, and Barbra, whose great but only because her character had too little to be great but just enough to give Kristin Wiig room to work with Gal simply did not have. Seriously I feel terrible for Gal Godot, she’s a genuinely talented actress and a genuinely kind and great person whose a LOT like Diana herself when written properly.  But Pedro Pascal? Since his character isn’t too badly written, and he has room to work.. he’s allowed to just be awesome. Since I haven’t watched the Mandolorian yet, I know, I KNOW, trust me.. I KNOWWW. But since I hadn’t this was my first proper exposure to Pedro Pascal..and his talent speaks for himself. In a weak movie, he is the shining star.  He’s also hammy as shit, but it WORKS because the film is redicouls. The Wishin Rock plot line and Max merging with it.. it’s bonkers. But he has just the right mix of bonkers hammy acting that’s fun to watch, and actual character work in the ham. He’s eating the scenery hand over fist, utterly devouring it.. but it fits the character as while Max was more of a subtle ham, a guy who just radiated smug and who more got into histornics when things went tits up like the time Blue Beetle and Booster Gold took the JLU’s funds to build an island resort on an island that turned out to be sentient and didn’t like that much and yes, all of that happened and it was as funny as it sounds. Point is being a showman whose always on, always talking and always got a plan.. that’s Maxwell Fucking Lord, and Pascal’s over the top acting fits that kind of character like a glove. 

It also fits the film well: the film comes off more like a 2000′s superhero film, one that takes itself super seriously.. but is really, REALLY goofy in places. It honest to god feels like one of the Sam rami spider-man films, ones I REALLY need to revisit and the results of that you’ll likely see, but without the self awarness rami had.. for the first two I mean by the third with the whole saturday night fever sequence, he’d really lost it. Love the guy though, still need to watch Army of Darkness and yes you may boo me.  Point is the film is bonkers and cheesy and dosne’t realize it but Pascal does so he just.. has fun with it. His haminess when asking someone for a wish, his great ways of reversing those wishes so he benifits from the consequences, taking them off the board while furthring his own goals. Max is just.. awesome, and so is pascal. He got a life long fan in me from this performance. And of all people he took his inspriation from Nick Cage which is a perfect fit as Cage is fucking great at acting absolutely batshit while still acting his ass off. Pascal really deserves full credit for this film for more than just being lovingly over the top. He’s genuinely good.

And that shines through greatly in the climax. First off the final fight between Cheetah and Wonder Woman is awesome.. just one of the best superhero fights i’ve seen on film and i’ve seen some whoppers. Great back and forth, great coreography and brutal intensitiy the whole way through with Diana being forced to possibly kill Barbra despite not wanting to hurt her. Just a hell of one. But the real centerpice is the wish vortex. Pascal just drops all pretense and goes ultra instinct ham, just letting it all hang out as he ascneds to god hood... but how he’s beaten.. is easily the most brilliant part of the film and one of the few times Gal Godot genuinely gets to show off her talent in this one: Wonder Woman defeats the bad guy not with brute force, not that she can, or some cool fight.. though we did get the cool fight too so that’s nice.. she simply uses her head and her heart. She uses her head by taking advantage of the fact max is broadcasting to the world, as villians tend to, and giving his bogus offers to whoevers listneting. So Diana counters this.. by simply speakking from the heart, enrouging those watching not to give in and to renounce the wish.. so the consequences can be renounced too. Even if it’s hard, even if it costs you.. what your doing will cost others so much more. And she finsihses this by using the Lasso of Truth on max, making him tear down his delusions about himself and see that his actions, which have caused world war III by the way as he maniupated the president.. who for some reason was not Regan. While Regan was a bastard.. that’s exactly the reason I wanted hi mthere as this film would’ve been better had one of the parts of the climax been Diana fighting a 50 foot tall rouge ronald regan. Admit it you’d see that in theaters if it was safe to go. 

POint is max sees he’s only HURTING his son, that this is for HIM not for his boy.. and that if he dosen’t let this power go, if he dosen’t just accept a peaceful life and let the world spin the way it’s supposed to and not emplode jus tso he can be a god... his son will be gone. So he gives it up and goes back to his boy in a touching moment. Though for some reason his son somehow got from Max’s office to the middle of a fucking highway. How is he not dead? I dunno we’re almost done here. Point is max is easily the highlight of the film and the reason it’s not ALL horrible along with Barbra.  Final Thoughts: Wonder Woman 1984.. is a disapointment. What I thought would be an easy film of the year contender.. instead ended up being an ungodly mess with unfortunate implications, a messy slapped together plot and WAYYYYY too much filler. As I said it had it’ sbright spots especially max and barbra.. but hte ultimate product is WAYYYY less than Patty Jenkins is capable of and since a third film is apparently inevitible, I can only hope next time she learns from this and does better. Also get Pedro Pascal his own Justice League international series as Max’s grandson or something YESTERDAY. Seriously even people who didn’t like this film would love it and it’s not like he can’t do this between seasons of Mando. He did We Can Be Heroes for god’s sake.. which was somehow a better film than this one. I guess 2020 had to disapoint me one last time huh? Well we’re in a new year now... and hopefully the Suicide Squad won’t also be a huge diapointment. If you enjoyed this lnog rant on a movie from a week or two ago, follow me for more. I’m currently doing retrospectives on the life and times of scrooge mcduck, scott pilgrim, grant morrisons new x-men, and i’m soon going to finish up a Darkwing Duck one focusing on Just us Justice ducks. And once they come back this year I plan on reguarlly covering Ducktales, Loud House, Owl House, Amphibia, and Final Space. So keep an eye out for that and until then, Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye. 

To Dance In Your Arms

Fandom: Wonder Woman (Movie) Pairing: Diana Prince x Steve Trevor Summary: Diana smiles back at him, her fingers caressing his face softly. “Darling, you have to get up, you need to get ready.” Steve’s mind goes blank, he doesn’t remember any work related appointments. “Huh?” Is the only thing that he manages to say. Diana laughs, “We’re on chaperon duty tonight at prom, remember?” Words: 1186 Notes: Written for Fictober-Event, prompts #17. “give me a minute or an hour” & 23. “do we have to?”

Read @ AO3

Steve wakes with soft fingers in his face and Diana’s voice calling ‘Steve, darling, time to awake.’ He blinks awake, yawns and gives Diana a sleepy grin. “Hey beautiful,” he says. He’s tired, that’s why he was napping in the first place. Working in a high school was exhausting, and his second career as a successful mystery writer also contributed to his constant state of tiredness.

Diana smiles back at him, her fingers caressing his face softly. “Darling, you have to get up, you need to get ready.”

Steve’s mind goes blank, he doesn’t remember any work related appointments. “Huh?” Is the only thing that he manages to say.

Diana laughs, “We’re on chaperon duty tonight at prom, remember?” Her eyes are sparkling with amusement, that’s when Steve notices that she’s very clearly dressed up, hair and make up – sans lipstick – impeccable, but wears a terry robe atop her outfit. Clearly, she hasn’t eaten and doesn’t want to get anything on her dress.

Steve groans. “Damn it, do we have to?” He teases, he knows he needs to get up. Teachers had drawn lots to see who would do chaperon duty this year, by chance, both of them had drawn the lots. He lets himself fall on the bed with an exaggerated yawn, “Give me a minute, or an hour.”

Diana shakes her head, very used to his antics and simply runs her fingers across his bare arms, goosebumps left behind her touch. “I’m ordering food, neither of us have the time to make something and you ate the left overs for lunch.”

“Great,” Steve says, sits up and stretches. “Order whatever you want, I’m not feeling peculiar.” Tosses the throw away and plants his feet on the floor, stands and stretches again. “I’ll run a shower and I’ll start getting ready – and yes, Diana, I’ll wear something to prevent stains when eating.”

Diana’s laughter follows her out the door. Steve stares a while, then shakes his head and heads to the bathroom. Hopefully, they will have the chance to dance a piece or two.

An hour later, they arrive at the place when their school’s prom is taking place. It’s a nice hotel, of course it is, they work in a private high school and people have money to throw at these things. Everything’s tastefully decorated in baby blue and silver. And they both know, that at least one of them will have to be near the punch all night. They’re not taking any chances.

Much to their surprise, Etta Candy, the Principal’s secretary joins them. “Mr. Morgan thought you might need back up,” she says.

Steve grins, and now he knows that he and Diana are dancing at least one piece. Because if anyone can suss out problems before they happen, it’s Etta. It’s almost terrifying and a super skill. Not to mention how capable she is. “That’s very kind of him,” Diana says.

They are in their spots by the time the graduating class starts arriving. Music starts softly while they have dinner, then it begins playing faster pieces as people begin filling the dance floor. Steve, Diana and Etta take turns to go around the whole place, making sure nothing’s wrong.

“I like dances,” Diana admits, as they both stand near the punch bowl. “My mom always said that she knew I would, considering how much I moved when she was pregnant, and when I was a child.”

Steve laughs at the image, he’s met Hippolyta Prince, the woman’s no-nonsense attitude could not be more different from Diana. Diana’s softer whereas her mother’s more hardened and sharp. But still, Diana is very much her mother’s child. “My mom thought I’d be a pilot,” he shares. “Because I used to collect planes when I was a boy.”

“And yet, you’re a history teacher and a writer,” Diana says, brow arched and with a considering look. “You’d have been a good pilot, I think.”

Steve grins. “I wanted to join the air force, but then, one day I woke up and realized that I didn’t. I wanted something closer to my mom, I think she was relieved when I didn’t join.”

Diana understands, a mother wants her children safe and Steve’s mother wouldn’t be so different. “I’m glad you didn’t.” She admits. “I wouldn’t have met you otherwise. Selfish, I know, but well.” She shrugs.

Steve smiles at her. “Perhaps we could’ve met in another way, but, that’s another life. I’m happy with the one I have here, with these kids and you.”

Diana takes his hand and squeezes.

Etta returns, gives them a knowing look and points towards the dance floor with her head. “You two, I’m giving you a fifteen minute break, go and be the lovebirds I know you are.”

Diana laughs happily and Steve grins wide. “Thank you, Etta dearest.” Diana has not let go of his hand, and like a pair of teenagers, they walk hand in hand, they hold each other and they begin swaying gently. Diana rests her head on his shoulder. “This is nice,” she says.

Steve, who likes nothing more than holding Diana, agrees. “We should do this more often.”

Diana raises her head, “How?”

“Dance club?” Steve shrugs. “Dancing at home? I’m game if you are.”

Diana’s beams and Steve feels his breath leave him, his heart speeds, for when it comes to Diana, he knows that he’ll always feel like a teen with his first crush. Diana kisses his cheek. “I like that.”

“I’m glad,” Steve manages. “I’m not much of a dancer, but for you Diana, I’d do my best.”

Diana’s eyes are soft. “Steve, you could never be a bad dancer, you’re doing quite well right now. We could take ballroom dance classes if you wanted,” then her eyes sparkle with something that make him swallow. “Or maybe, tango? That would absolutely fantastic.”

‘Yeah, it would be,’ Steve thinks, how could he not? Tango is incredibly sexy, and well, it’d give him an excuse to put his hands on her in public. “I think, that it would be fantastic either way.”

“Good,” Diana gives him a quick peck to his lips. “Because, I find that I quite like dancing in your arms.”

“I like having you in my arms too.”

“Such a romantic.”

Steve nods. “And proud.”

“How lucky I am, to have found someone like you.”

Steve looks at Diana in the eyes, “I’m the lucky one, love. You’re a treasure and I’m just the lucky one who manage to win your heart.”

Diana kisses him again, “We’re both lucky then. Now, let us enjoy this moment before we have to return to our post.”

“Yes dear.”

Diana swats his arm playfully, her laughter chiming on his ear. And so they do. They dance until their time is up, then return to Etta and spend the rest of the night as they did before, making sure all is well. Once the dance is over, they’re the last to leave and they do so hand in hand, dancing to their car. They’re definitely are taking those dance lessons.

Unacceptable

Steve had been alive for nearly two weeks now. He still wasn’t completely used to the new century he found himself in, but he was feeling comfortable enough to go out on his own. GPS was a wonderful thing, it kept him from getting lost when he went exploring and it helped him to find the various stores and other landmarks he had to go to. He probably should have been arranging to get himself a social security number or other such important things, but that wasn’t what he was doing.

No, Steve Trevor had gone to an office supply store to buy a dozen clipboards, several boxes of black pens, a folding table, a couple chairs, poster board, and some markers. After that he set up on the sidewalk in front of the Museum of History with a sign that read ‘Bring Wonder Woman to the Museum— History can’t be banned or biased’ propped up against his table. He had printed off several dozen pages for signatures and attached them to the clipboards along with the pens, and then he’d started his campaign.

“I don’t have anything against Captain America having an exhibit. He deserves one for being a war hero. But there was another World War before Cap’s, and, really, it’s disappointing that the curators find it acceptable to have an exhibit for Captain America, but not for Wonder Woman who did just as much, if not more, for this country and the entire world during World War I.” He knew, he’d been there. “So, I’m collecting signatures to show to the curators of the museum and prove to them that such an exhibit would bring more visitors to their establishment.”

At that point in his little spiel Steve held the clipboard out to the individual he was pitching, a bright smile on his lips. “Would you mind signing? It’d be a big help.”

Favorite version of Etta Candy?

What’s your favorite version? 

Golden Age - In some ways, she’s a walking fat joke. But she’s boisterous, confident, popular, brave, loyal, and kicks Nazi butt.

Bronze Age - Only a little chubby, military member.  Much milder personality than the original (then again, it’d be hard not to be) and she seems based on her tv counterpart (at least when first introduced .  Honestly haven’t read much of her.

Post-Crisis - I have to admit, I don’t really know this one at all. Haven’t read her. Still military and she moves up the ranks. Older, slimmer, and married to Steve Trevor (eventually, on all of those, I think, rather than starting that way, but am unsure since I haven’t actually read the issues with her).

Current Continuity - Black and gay now. Put back on some the weight of her original incarnation, but without the comical shortness or double chin.  Military. Gets in on fights like golden age version. Previous romantic relationship with Barbara Minerva, who became Cheetah.  Knew Steve before Diana.

Then you have the elseworlds Legend of Wonder Woman (Vol 2) version - I haven’t read the series (just a couple issues), but she seems like an updated Golden Age Etta to me, which is a real plus. Swooped in and saved lost Diana from awkward explanations, but not bogged down by the reality of the super-strong woman she brought home two weeks ago who is still staying with her. More important things on her mind.  Kinda fashion and fame oriented, though. Still brave, still loyal, in what I saw.  Less action-oriented (in fights), though.  A forceful personality, but not quite in the way I’d like.

Then elseworlds Wonder Woman: Earth One - Also haven’t read this one. She’s Beth Candy there. Saved by Wonder Woman.  Then goes to Themyscira to defend Diana (she’s in trouble for protecting Steve), as I understand it. All that I saw of the book (pages posted here and there) was not to my taste.

Then, of course, there are the tv and movie versions.

And if you were rebooting what sort of Etta would you create? 

I’d modernize the golden age version. She’d start a college student. Short and fat, but very comfortable with her body.  Not a nun, but not particularly into romance (golden age her wasn’t all that interested in general, but did get engaged at one point).  Not military - firstly because I want Diana to have a life separate from the military, from Steve’s world.  It gives both of them their own space. I could use Julia or Helena for that, too, but I like Diana and Etta having that deep friendship, and I like that being them and not them and Steve. I suppose because I like the original dynamic, where Etta didn’t start with any connection to Steve. 

Some like Diana actually teaching or living at the college, but that doesn’t work for me either.  Too entwined with Etta and the Holliday girls. To me, Diana should be friends with them, but not one of them.  Plus, they are a sorority. They graduate college and move away and go on with their lives. I’m not amenable to Diana continuing make friends with every new incoming class. The ones that Etta led were her pals, but as Etta graduates and leaves, Diana maintains that relationship fades - Diana not being as personally close to the others. But stays friends with Etta. Not sure what job I’d have for Etta, though.

I don’t have much opinion on sexual orientation, but Etta will not date any of Wonder Woman’s villains. I really don’t like that dynamic.  I don’t want Diana’s former friends as villains either - the personal-connection-villain thing is overdone, IMO.  Don’t really like that version of Cheetah much, anyway.  Her as Barbara was kinda fun, but as Cheetah, not so much.

Is Wonder Woman supporting cast less consistent and well define then that of the other two member of the Trinity ?

Yes, mostly because no one will look me in the eye and give me a straight answer on whether or not Hippolyta’s hair is blonde or black.

I’m joking, slightly.

It’s something of a curse with Wondy’s supporting cast that every other new writer decides to completely do away with them and reinvent Diana’s support group. Even runs and writers I truly love are guilty of this, and it does make Diana’s world seem a little less approachable than many of her contemporary heroes -- it is hard to imagine any writer approaching a run with Superman or Batman and deciding that  Metropolis should disappear without explanation for a few years or that modern Alfred should swap out with Silver Age pudgy Alfred every now and then to “liven things up”.

I actually have very long and complicated feelings on cementing superhero origins stories too much and feel like allowing plasticity in certain elements actually leads to longevity for older comic characters that often isn’t afforded to more modernly created characters, and with the major canon of characters as iconic as the Trinity who are so bigger than life and should be taken on by multiple talented writers and artists to add and mold their legacies, I’m even more apprehensive about getting too rigid. 

That being said, I think finding the elements of a character’s history and supporting cast to make as consistent as possible, even if they are additions that have come over the decades rather than in any particular Issue #1, is as important to making the characters accessible as the general plasticity in origins. 

For Wonder Woman, removing the Amazons and Diana’s unique relationship to her heritage (i.e. being a woman born and surrounded in a world completely of and for women), Steve Trevor and Etta Candy, and elements like the importance of Truth and philosophy and ambassador skills should be as cemented in stone and consistent as Gotham, Jim Gordon, Metropolis, the Daily Planet, and the Justice League merchandise to almost always put Cyborg in positions that he folds over the corner of boxes.

Speaking of merchandise, it’d be stellar if I could not go to a store and run into Trinity merch where Diana’s been replaced by Barry Allen of all people. But that’s a rant for another time.

Superwoman (Bruce Wayne/Batman x Reader)

Request; Nope.

Prompt; You’re Bruce Wayne’s Wife and also known as Superwoman who’s been presumed dead for years.

Relationships; Bruce Wayne/Batman x Reader, Brother! Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman x Reader, Platonic! Diana Prince/Wonder Woman x Reader,  Platonic! Barry Allen/Flash x Reader,  Platonic! Arthur Curry/Aquaman x Reader,  Platonic! Victor Stone/Cyborg x Reader.

Warnings; Fighting

Word Count; 804

A/N; A little Bruce one shot, I know it’s terrible but hey-ho. Enjoy!

~~~

(Y/N)'s POV

I sighed as I woke up to the news on the radio, I sat on the edge of my bed, quickly glancing at the other side to not find my partner there, I groaned as I stood up and stretched,

"The World is still broken over the death of Superman..." The Report rambled on making me glare at the Radio as I headed over to it to turn it off,

"First we lost Superwoman, and now Superman, every time a kindhearted hero dies the world does too" A civilian commented making me stop as a small smile appeared on my face before I shook my head and turned the radio off, I sighed looking over to my dresser I went over to it, lifted up the lid to the secret compartment revealing my Superwoman outfit, my fingers traced over the family logo.

*Flashback*

"Superwoman?" Batman called over,

"Batman?" I replied as I sheltered a couple of civilians from bullets from the drones,

"The drones are after you. You need to lead them away" he demanded,

"After me?! They're yours!" I snapped as I heat visioned the drones in front of me to molten metal, "Clear out" I ordered the civilians, they nodded and scattered

"I created them as a precaution. Just fly away somewhere secluded" he retorted, 

"Fine" I growled and I shot off into the air and the drones immediately followed.

*End Of Flashback*

After flying away I landed in a small clearing where the drones blasted me with, luckily I destroyed them but it'd taken a lot of me, I listened into the whole house and heard nothing,

"Must be in the Cave" I commented as I got up and made my way down to the Cave, where I found two men, a woman and a cyborg stood with Bruce, "Why didn't you alert me that we had guests?" I asked as I made my way over to Bruce's side, he pressed a kiss on to my cheek before clearing his throat,

"This is Diana Prince, Arthur Curry, Barry Allen and Victor Stone" he introduced, I nodded

"Hello, I'm (Y/N) Wayne" I greeted with a smile,

"Anyway back on topic. Even sometimes you need to let go of somethings" Diana said looking at Bruce, I hummed

"Did Steve Trevor tell you that?" Bruce commented, she glared at him and went to shove him but I caught her wrist

"I suggest you choose your next move carefully" I warned, she was thinking about it before coming to punch me in the face but I caught her fist and began to crush it making her grunt in pain,

"(Y/N), that's enough" Bruce said as he placed a hand on my shoulder, I rolled my eyes and let go of her and folded my arms,

"What the hell are you?" Arthur asked,

"Kryptonian" Victor stated,

"Wait what?!" Barry exclaimed, 

"Superwoman to be exact. Superman's older sister" I stated, their eyes widened as they stared at me.

***

"Let him go Kal!" I demanded getting out of the car with Lois, as he choked Bruce in the air, he didn't budge so I glanced at Lois before grabbing her in a choke hold and hovering in the air,

"Clark!" She exclaimed gaining his attention, he glared at me and dropped Bruce before farting towards me, I dropped Lois and collided with him, pinning him to the ground giving him several punches to the face before he kicked me off, I growled as I steady myself in the air, he came towards me again

"Enough!" Lois yelled making him stop dead and go over to her, before flying away with them, I went over to Bruce and helped him up

"He didn't hurt you did he?" I asked as I x-rayed his skeletal structure, 

"No" he replied as he shook his head, I sighed in relief giving him a hug before I pulled away and crashed my lips on to his, he returned it then I heard several screams I looked in the direction to see a building collapsing, 

"Flash, with me" I ordered as I quickly grabbed and changed into my suit before flying over to the building I went over to the corner that had be blown out and pushed the building back up, 

"What do you want me to do?!" Barry asked, I rolled my eyes

"Get everyone out" I ordered, after everyone was out and at a safe distance I let the building go and watched it collapse, they were several gasps making me look over to the crowd to see them taking videos/photos of me,

"It's Superwoman!" I heard a couple kids exclaimed making me smile.

The other superheroes joined me and we stood in front of the crowd,

"We need to leave" Diana stated, we all nodded in agreement and began to leave but I tilted my head slightly as I watched the crowd smile, cheer and wave at me, I waved back before flying back to the Manor.

What is your verdict on Rucka's and Robinson's WW run so far? Did it have anything good? Did it had a point(s)? Did it go anywhere? Where did they take WW? How does Rebirth Rucka's WW writing compare with Pre-Flashpoint Rucka's WW writing?

Boring. Pointless. Lazy. Convoluted. Going nowhere imo because I frankly don’t care what the hell Wonder Woman is doing at the moment in comics. And this is a first for me after years of reading her. 

 Rucka did nothing new. In fact did we really need what he did? If they wanted to go back to preflashpoint as DC claimed…which we know they don’t since Rebirth is NOT preflashpoint as the origins have entirely different histories…George Perez had a perfectly good origin built upon by years of good character development. But Rucka didn’t write an origin. He mish mashed what other people did over the decades, some of it frankly pointless imo, because it adds no flavor. Rebirth Diana is basically a lotus eater who waited for a man to fall on her island. She is more Little Mermaid than Amazon princess. 

Here is a woman who apparently had thousands of years of living,  love affairs with her immortal sisters (who raised her btw like surrogate mothers and aunts because she was the only child on the island …dunno but I find that bugged me a child you’d raise with maternal or sisterly love you’d bed).  Anyway as a result Diana says is not good with romance and needs bland Steve Trevor to teach her. Oh and making him lose his shirt for no good reason and giving him a beard isn’t upping his sex appeal either. If a character is sexy, he just is. This Steve looks like either a vanilla Ken doll or an Ollie Queen rip off.  

The worst is Diana spent years insane in an asylum instead of being useful out in the world. Rucka did not write a definitive origin which he could have done. Rucka had a rather petty motivation and to me seemed too busy trying to crap on the new 52 and Superman/Wonder Woman. No Wonder Woman I know would throw a dead man under the bus as she did with Superman. Even Diana preflashpoint loved Superman deeply as a friend with some unresolved romantic tension. She respected and admired him. To say he had nothing of value other than strength and flight and was “easy” is just frankly out of character. Diana has more class, empathy and love in her than that. Trying to diss Superman, Rucka makes his Diana seem a petty and self involved.   His Olympian Gods are dull. From interesting, colorful personalities under Azzarello, we get Disney animals.

She is weak in terms of her power set. Rebirth Diana spends her time lying on the floor after being Koed or shot more than any time I ever read her in years. Imagine Steve Trevor is fighting Furies and her conveniently stronger brother Jason beating up foes Diana ought to handle. I really don’t know what is the point of Jason other than he’s an idea of Geoff Johns. And basically Johns wants his stuff in. In a way I’m glad none of new 52 Diana is part of this. It’d be a travesty to suggest that Diana is this one. 

Rucka can write a good Wonder Woman. I loved his run except his ridiculous Blackest Night tie in for Wonder Woman, which just made no god damn sense. His Diana had more agency, more intellect, more fire in her. Even his Gods were not this dull. 

Robinson I can’t blame too much because this is what he has to work with. If you have nothing inspiring to play with in the sandbox, don’t expect castles. 

Wonder Woman has no cast other than Steve, Jason and Etta. Think about that. 

Wonder Woman has a shitty power set. Think about that.

Her foes are still lacking. Which foe of Diana’s in Rebirth is truly compelling? Think about that.

Wonder Woman has not had a proper arc or plot that really helps build her mythos in this version in two years. It’s mostly the “origin” and then “lies” and then crap to build Jason and filler.  There is no real story as Perez had or Azzarello had or even Rucka himself did preflashpoint. Given we had numerous origins all over the place from Rebirth to DCEU to Legend of Wonder Woman…Earth One…the new 52..Odyssey …and so much more ….what I think this says is DC can do nothing much with her but origin stories. The one time they could have forged ahead, given they built 5 years of story with new 52, they crapped on it.  Wonder Woman of the Trinity is the only one that gets crapped on. Every time she loses her foundation. They drag her city to city. Cast to cast. granted some work better than others but this does not happen to Batman or Superman. She was built up post crisis/ preflashpoint and never even got a “happy ending” like Batman and Superman. Instead Batman and Superman forgot who she was and she was de-aged in Odyssey and given an entire new story while they continued being who they were. The Wonder Woman we loved from Perez was killed in Convergence. Rebirth was not done for Wonder Woman if you consider what we have so far. It was done for Steve Trevor, a love interest, whom she proved that she did not need for 30 years to have some of her best stories or to be the person we love as Wonder Woman.  Think about that.

Isn’t the point of Steve Trevor is that he’s a real man’s man but is so completely secure in his masculinity that he’s is in no way intimidated or put off by Wonder Woman’s strength, and is actually in awe of her, not that he’s ‘feminine’ (and would it even be a bad thing if he was??, maybe it’d be a bit cliched but idk)

I think that’s definitely a part of it -- Marston’s Steve Trevor matches the 1940s vision of masculinity (muscular, strong-jawed, a soldier), and rather than being put off or emasculated by the far stronger Wonder Woman (as might have been expected), he’s inspired by her. In that way, he serves as the model Marston wants the boys reading the comic to follow: a man who isn’t threatened by women and will happily submit to a female “love leader”.

But I think that when Morrison describes Steve as playing a “feminine role”, what he really means is that Steve fills a role typically occupied by women in comics of the time. More often than not, Steve’s the one who’s left in the dark, the one who gets duped by the villains, the one in need of rescuing by the hero. He does actively fight alongside Wondy at times, but that role usually goes to Etta Candy and the Holliday Girls.

In other words, Steve Trevor is the closest thing Golden Age Wondy has to a damsel in distress.

Morrison seems to miss the subversive nature of this characterisation. He complains that Steve is passive and boring “next to Wonder Woman and all the girls in the stories”.

Basically, in reading Marston’s comics, he experienced a frustration all too familiar to women and people of colour and LGBTI people consuming media: he couldn't see himself represented in the story, and the only person who did look like him was underdeveloped and sidelined and consigned to the role of the hero’s love interest. And what he took from that was... ‘this is dumb, Steve ought to be more buff and active and interesting!!’

Making this yet another example of Morrison taking a subversive element of Marston’s Wonder Woman and rendering it utterly conventional.

So I’ve been seeing a lot of people spouting the same Steve Trevor theories so I thought I’d just... point out some things. Mostly debunking. Feel free to discuss! (As in politely discuss, don’t come at me or anyone else with insults and cussing if this post debunked your preferred theory and you disagree with whatever I or any commenters might’ve said)

1) It’s Steve’s son.

Assuming this man got a girl pregnant within his last few days, that kid would be 65 in 1984. They did not hire Chris Pine to play a 65+yo. Next.

2) It’s Steve’s grandson.

Ok, this one’s plausible age-wise. But why bring back Chris then? Odds are a grandson isn’t going to be an exact replica of his grandfather. Besides, Patty Jenkins specifically welcomed Steve to 1984. So. Not a grandkid.

3) Barry did some time traveling.

Barry wasn’t even born in 84. And if Clark was around (given that he’s as fast/faster than Barry I assume he has a comic history of time traveling, forgive me if I’m wrong), then he would probably be a child. And since both of them met Diana in 2017 regardless, I don’t see why they would drop Steve off in 84.

4) It’s a clone.

Fair. Can’t really give you any concrete evidence against this one. But... it feels cheap to me. Who would do this and why? Wouldn’t they have needed to grab his DNA before his death? And who would’ve had cloning tech in 1918, or the motive to preserve the DNA until 84? (I realize it’s a comic movie starring a demigoddess but. Still seems a stretch.)

5) Multiverse Steve!

Of them all, this one makes the most sense. The DC shows have used it extensively, and seeing as the DCEU is more than willing to take characters from their shows, I wouldn’t be surprised if they started sharing ideas. But looking at some of the set pics/videos, Steve and Diana still seem very close, close enough to make me doubt that there’s any sort of psychological gap like the other not being their Steve/Diana from their own universe. I’m inclined to think that this is the Steve both the audience and Diana knew and fell in love with in Wonder Woman, not a Steve from an alternate reality.

6) A god(dess) did a thing.

Diana’s bedtime story clearly stated that all the gods were dead (aside from Ares, and, well, we later saw his fate). Ain’t no Aphrodite (I think I read she brought him back in the comics, at least her name is sticking in my head for some reason, again forgive me if I’m wrong) or Hades to bring him back.

7) The poison did a thing.

Even if it did somehow allow him to somehow survive both the explosion and the subsequent fall, who would’ve taken care of a comatose man for 66 years? And how would that have gotten him from Germany to Washington DC? Let alone leave him alone and confused in the middle of a mall? I’m skeptical about this option.

8) He’s a hallucination.

Steve and Diana have had physical contact repeatedly in multiple different scenes. Steve grabbing her arm to stop and turn her around. Touching her waist to make a point. Diana putting a hand against his back to keep him moving forward. An apparently injured Diana leaning on Steve as they escape that protest/fight scene. Hallucinations don’t get physical, not in so many different ways. Steve is physically there.

9) Flashbacks.

Um, idk where anyone got that, considering he’s wearing 80′s clothes and standing in the middle of an 80′s mall. He ain’t a flashback.

So... what else is there?

Patty Jenkins specifically welcomed Steve Trevor to 1984, and given the closeness he seems to be displaying with Diana, I do believe this is a Steve from the tail end of those precious few days they had together. Which means the only moment he could’ve been snatched from was around when he pulled the trigger. Keep in mind that we never actually saw that moment, nor was there ever any confirmation that he died in the explosion. Like Diana and the others, we were simply left to believe it. And, until we saw those set photos, we did, because how the heck would he have gotten out of that?

I have no idea.

All I know is that every theory I’ve seen so far doesn’t sit right with me. And I feel like Patty Jenkins is confident enough that we don’t and won’t know how he’s back to show off that Steve is indeed back. The real plot twist seems to lie in the how he’s back, not the fact that he is back. (That’s not to say absolutely no one will have figured it out come next November, especially as we get more information. She’s just confident enough at the moment that the majority of us won’t guess correctly.)

Bonus, cause I keep seeing people getting hyped over this too: Those new set pics with Diana floating midair are almost certainly not her invisible jet. 1) If she didn’t have it in 1918 or 2017, I highly doubt it’d show up in 1984, and 2) if it was the jet, they almost certainly would’ve built the interior as its own set and CGIed in the exterior, not had Gal dangle midair from some wires in the middle of the street pretending there’s a chair under her butt and a joystick in her hand.

It's 3 am and I'm currently watching wonder woman (for the third time) can we imagine grady travis being in a Steve trevor situation with his very own bad-ass warrior princess???

do not throw a lasso of truth around this guy or he’ll start wildly vacillating between just breaking down crying about missing his mom and saying Completely Inappropriate Things and then crying about how he wishes he wasn’t so crude

i feel like grady probably would be WAY too much of a mess to handle themyscira. the amazons would find him on the beach and the first words out of his mouth would be so entirely inappropriate that they’d throw him back in the ocean and he’d have to swim back to shore and apologize for being a Complete Dingus

but to get a little more Touchy-Feely, i think that it would be really good for grady to have it impressed upon him that women can do such amazing and awe-inspiring things, and i think it would be good for him to be humbled by someone stronger than he is, smarter than he is. he’d feel bad and jealous, for a while, but with time and exposure and understanding, he’d realize that there’s nothing to be intimidated by, but everything to gain from being near someone who has strong values and wonderful abilities.

i think it’d also be good for him to realize that his emotions are important and a valid aspect of his life, not something he has to shove away or call ‘wussy’. admitting to the love and sensitivity in his heart would make him a stronger person, not a weaker one, and allowing himself to care about the well-being of others enough to do right by them would be a huge growing experience.

please, amazon princess, teach this man some manners and some emotional acceptance

Virgo- What do you value the most- artistic ability/creativity, musical ability, athletic ability, intellect, or work ethic? Jupiter- If you had to pick one color to use for an entire week, what color would you choose?  Auriga- If you had to pick one villain from any media, who would you rather have to face and why? Leo- If you could change the way any movie was made, which movie would you change?

Virgo- What do you value the most- artistic ability/creativity, musical ability, athletic ability, intellect, or work ethic?   Oh that's hard to choose! Because they're all great? Jupiter- If you had to pick one color to use for an entire week, what color would you choose?  One color to wear or? I guess blue if I'm wearing it 😂 Auriga- If you had to pick one villain from any media, who would you rather have to face and why? Garcia flynn/ rittenhouse because then id get to time travel? Guess its not very altruistic? 😂😂 but yeah it'd sure be fun, right? Leo- If you could change the way any movie was made, which movie would you change? Ughhh! First one that came to mind is wonder woman. Look i love the movie but Steve Trevor is annoying and why push wonder woman with anyone? Like for real?

you just dont seem bothered by how little lesbianism was in wonder woman and honestly it invalidates all your opinions on anything ever youre done turn it off this blog is deleted

LMAO that’s fair goodbye everyone

No I’m really annoyed at the i know she gets with him in the comics and w/e but the romance with Steve Trevor felt very forced and they definitely had opportunity to be much gayer about Themyscira and chicken-shitted out but it’s not really my place to talk about like i’ll reblog text posts about it but if i make my own text post like “Wonder Woman needed MORE LESBIANS” it’d probably just come across as creepy you feel me

wonder woman and black panther :)

oh word!!

-- wonder woman --favorite female character: i literally love all of the female characters in the movie but it’d be a crime for me not to say diana princefavorite male character: steve trevor’s characterization in the movie adaptation of ww.... i love one straight man and it is him least favorite female character: dr. poison?? i mean i’m a sucker for female villains but she’s the only unlikeable female character of the movie if we’re looking at it from a moral standpoint jdhfdhleast favorite male character: um... i didn’t really like the antagonist, ares. the actor was great but the fact that we could see his mustache through his helmet during the final battle made me so uncomfortable plus i never really thought abt him when he was off screen. to me he just didn’t feel like a big threat which is.. not the case in the movie but [insert “that’s my opinion” vine]favorite ship: while straight ships have never clicked with me and i prefer to ship something unexisting like pairing hippolyta/antiope with a random amazon warrior - diana x steve was really cute and i’m upset at how it endedleast favorite ship: idk if they were going there but doctor poison and luddendorff mayhaps. if that’s like a thing it can choke movie rating: 8/10!!!  NOT GAY ENOUGH MISS PATTY/DC, DIANA IS BISEXUAL, GIVE US THE CONTENT WE DESERVE -- black panther aka the movie that created marvel itself --favorite female character: once again i love all the female characters but... okoye.. my sweet lesbian daughter you deserved so much...favorite male character: again, it’d be a crime for me not to say t’challa least favorite female character: not much to go by!! all the female characters were amazing least favorite male character: you expect me to say that sleazy bastard klaue but i just don’t like ross. not only is the actor trash but he’ll always be a hobbit to me and he should’ve stayed that way and never have any roles again ever  favorite ship: have i mentioned how okoye is a lesbian and in love with ayo or what least favorite ship: um okoye and w’kabi made absolutely no sense they had ZERO chemistry and not once was he faithful to her. he only [redacted] at the end of the movie bc they were losing and she was abt to fucking impale him movie rating: 8.5/10 it was... pretty good not gonna lie. i’m still pissed that marvel has the ugly ass habit to cut every gay scene out of their movies but i was sitting at the edge of my seat throughout the entire movie i just loved it so much send me a tv show/ movie!!