I'm supposed to still be doing homework but I wanted to pause really quickly because I really think I might be getting better

I hit a wall last week (and hella actually really helped me, but I had to ignore her advice for a few days to see it) where I just kind of realized I don't actually do much to make myself feel better? And like. I want to be so specific that like. I'm feeling physically better these days so it's so much easier (not easy, mind you--I'm still in pain AND mental health is still making it hard, but it's easier)

But like I just had like three days in a row where I just tried to do homework in bed and instead I did NOTHING and I basically talked to no one and I was just making myself miserable and I was like. It's the end of the semester and at this point it's my fault I have so much work. So I need to make a different choice and do it. So I have?

And I spent HOURS doing work yesterday. And it wasn't perfect--I meant to go to an aquaintance's show and I didn't make it, but I did a bunch of work and got some late assignments turned in. And I'm still working today and it's fucking slow going. I thought I was gonna get through two modules (I don't call them that, god hella you've infected my brain) but I still have ten pages left of enlightened sexism (but my focus is a little shot at this point in the day. BECAUSE I SUDDENLY HAVE ENERGY?? like i'm gonna go put my laundry in and like. idk maybe even walk around a bit because i have energy. like not a lot. but for nearly 8pm at night? It's crazy.)

I just. I hope this is the iron and the medication change. Because I've been having such a rough go of it. But I think some of it has been me. I think I got really good at being sick and treating myself like I was sick and I'm not anymore.

Cause like when I was sick I let myself get away with all sorts of bullshit cause 'oh I can't, I don't feel well.'

But I'm getting better. So that means putting on my big person pants and doing shit. Even when it's hard.