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It actually does bother me that eating is treated like spending money - that you have an allotted allowance in the form of calories that you are supposed to budget.

"How are you spending your calories?" I'm spending them on experiences. I'm spending them on time with my community, my people, those who matter to me. I'm spending them on satiating a human need. I'm spending them on the feeling of being alive and not just living.

If there is one experience that I don't want to "pay" for, it's the basic human right of comfort, security, community, and care.

having a lot of thoughts about eating disorders + how some of us end up developing chronic illnesses directly because of the physical effects of our eating disorders and how Cruel doctors can be about that and just trying to untangle so much shame and blame from that experience rn

I'm both intensely nervous and also very excited. I'm competent. I know what I'm doing. I take pride in my work and my skills and I learn quickly and for all my personal emotional turmoil, I'm quick witted in the workplace and very good at what I do. I can show off a bit! I'm not even THAT bad at the social aspects, I forced myself thru SOOOO many extra curricular volunteer gigs to become, if not comfortable, at least good at chameleon masking in those situations

Also the weather is yucky and I don't really want what I packed for lunch and it'll keep in the work fridge for another day or two til I can eat it

i wish "eating healthy" was less about restricting what you eat and more about actually eating healthy food. like honestly i still stick by my kid logic of "hmm i ate some unhealthy things today, i'm gonna eat some fruit and veggies for balance"

imo you should be able to eat what you want and what makes you happy, i only hope your body gets adequate fuel. healthy eating shouldn't "ONLY this, VERY SMALL AMOUNTS of that" eat a damn bowl of icecream if you want to bc that doesnt automatically stop you from being healthy

So many people claiming to treat eating disorders do not understand the complexities regarding peoples relationship with food and just over pathologize every little thing.

Many folks will never be able to just eat what they want without thinking about it, they’d get very sick if they don’t read a label. that’s not ED. Intention matters.

Janja is definitely someone who takes his insecurities out on Cheezi and Chungu. In the episode where he replaces them with Nne and Tano he blames them for what happened. He is not exactly wrong since they talked about their plans to the guard, but they had a point when they said it was because Janja slipped on the mud and slided onto the guard.

However, I think it's pretty telling that "I am the smartest hyena around" is rule number one in the clan. Janja, in the end is insecure about himself as well and pretending like he is smarter and better than the others makes him feel better about himself. It's why he constantly has to insult them as furbrains. He doesn't even seem to entertain the idea of asking the others for their input.

You wanna know what I just found out???

So, as a child, I was diagnosed with failure to thrive. I was eating too little from a combo of factors: food intolerances, chronic illness, and my parents used access to food as punishment. (How I didn't develop an ED is beyond me.) My height and weight measurements were too low, and I was falling behind. Looking back at those childhood photos and seeing my dark circles and sunken cheeks, I look as malnourished as I was.

I was also doing quite poorly in school. Very tired and unable to pay attention. I already had ADHD. Now add hunger on top of that. I had "behavior" issues (very disruptive in class). I had poor hand-eye coordination (I sucked at sports).

Apparently, my pediatrician offered to prescribe me several different hormones to prompt my growth and "normal" female development for my age. They were willing to freely give me shit like growth hormones at 10-11 yrs old-- without a psychological evaluation and without any bureaucratic loopholes to jump through and without the threat of CPS and without any insurance disputes-- so that I'd develop as a little girl "should."

My mother decided "no" because she was happy to have a child who was "just like her" (she was a "late bloomer," as she called it, and very short and "petite" as a young woman) and who she could then "relate to."

Got my end of the month burst of motivation to get my shit together and did 10 push ups

I'm going to be real, I think people (particularly neurotypical people) really fail when they see disordered eating as solely a behaviour when it isn't just that (and usually they assume the behaviour can only be restricted eating). Disordered eating is as much a frame of thinking as it is a "behaviour".

I say this is a failure because people are struggling, and they aren't receiving help they need because they're not seen as "eating disordered". The mindset that leads to somebody developing the behaviours associated with disordered eating is - in my experience - absolutely life-ruining and devastating. It genuinely feels like a huge part of your soul has shriveled up and vanished. When you see disordered eating as a behaviour, you are fundamentally not understanding what these issues tend to be, and how they arise.

This is so, so especially important for people who don't "look" the way society expects. For instance, the number of men I see absolutely destroyed by these thoughts, feelings, and compulsions is really almost astonishing. We need to do better for everybody - everybody deserves the help they want and need.

upset about the fact that people think it's cute and trendy to talk about ppl with EDs as if they're just like "haha im ugly lol i'm shallow and vain and fatphobic <3"

like please do 2 seconds of research on EDs and stop spitting vitriol at ppl with a life-threatening illness who hate themselves deeply and have a 10% death rate thanks

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i hate rants in the tags but rant in the tags 😭😭😭

Me, a very reasonable person: "This is something I *ought* to bring up with my psychiatrist, but I wouldn't want to be a bother and alarm or unsettle the poor man... :/"

bruh not me looking up videos on how to train a dog to wait for their food so I can apply that to myself 😭 

why am i so willing to dehumanize myself like thisssssss

YouTube please I’m just trying to get more into cooking & have more substantive nutrition in my mornings than a granola bar & my ADHD meds stop trying to give me an eating disorder