That pizza looks delicious. I'm glad I allow myself to eat food without listening to diet culture now since I think I may buy a pizza too—for myself and also for kid me who didn't know this peace. She deserves however many slices she wants.

-Mod Worthy

Thinking about so many people this holiday season. People in ED recovery. People who haven’t started their ED recovery yet. People with sensory issues around food. People with unwanted dietary restrictions and intolerances and allergies. “Picky eaters.” You are valid, you are loved, you are capable, you are strong. I hope you are able to find joy and delight this year in your meals. Wishing you all the best. ❤️

jokes aside, i think when we talk about having healthy relationships with food and eating mindfully we forget that for many people, intuitive eating isn't, well, intuitive. especially if you are recovering from severely disordered eating patterns and/or a severely disordered relationship with food, figuring out when you are hungry, full, wanting, finished, and more in regards to food feels impossible. so for those in recovery: it's okay that intuitive eating is hard. it takes practice and time, and it has to be learned. be gentle with yourself. a healthy relationship with food is possible, it just takes time.

Whenever I start feeling guilty about the weight I’ve gained in the last few years I have to shake myself out of it. I’m not sixteen and starving anymore! I’m not an impossible standard! I am wasting my life trying to time travel when I could be enjoying my life right now! I deserve to be happy and spending my days ruminating on my body and pushing my body to be smaller will never make me happier.

gentle reminder for all littles ♡

it doesn't matter what your body looks like or what size you are, you're still tiny and need to eat well! you're a small and cute baby, whatever your size, always! loving your body can be hard and maybe sometimes you have to be very brave, but be kind to it and give it fuel. you need to take care of it so you can play and enjoy the things you like every day (including yummy snacks!)

no matter what, you deserve to have good food and enjoy life, little one! ♡

another soft reminder: it's okay to eat more than others in ed recovery - or even in general!! your body needs the energy - and even if that werent the case, you deserve yummy food regardless ♡

In case you've never heard it before, eat whatever you want for breakfast. Seriously! If trying to find something with eggs/toast/bacon/cereal/jam/bagels/cheeses/typical "breakfast food" makes you feel like you don't have anything to eat, then eat whatever you DO have! A sandwich! Pickles! A cookie! Spaghetti! Fried shrimp! Don't let western marketing tell you that the food you're having isn't "proper breakfast". Yes, something like fruit or yogurt or veggies will be better for you nutritionally, but not eating is worse than eating something "improper". As long as you're eating in the morning, it is breakfast.

(psst, the same goes for lunch and dinner)

how to pull yourself out of a relapse

I figured I should make this because I've been really struggling with on and off again relapses lately and wanted to be transparent with you guys. And hopefully help someone if I can :) You're not alone.

remind yourself of the facts. I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. This is the biggest aid to me when I'm struggling, so I use it quite often. Tell yourself the truth! Your ed is lying to you, and I know you know that. Your ed will kill you, it doesn't care about you at all. For whatever reason you've relapsed, I can guarantee you it's not worth it. The ed will not give you the control you're looking for, it will not give you the body you're looking for, and it certainly won't give you any missing feelings of confidence or self love. The people who are truly deserving of you will not love you more or less based on what you look like or what you eat. They don't love you for your body, they love you for a million other reasons. Recovery is difficult, and so is having an eating disorder. Only one will make you happier, though.

talk to someone. I know that your ed is telling you that telling someone is not allowed under any circumstances, but the recovery you knows better. Don't listen to the ed. Tell your therapist, your parent/guardian, your friends, family, teachers, coaches, etc. This is a huge step. Hopefully the person will try to get you the help you need. If they don't, you can always reach out to me if you'd like and I'd be more than happy to listen and help to the best of my ability!

find the cause of your relapse. In my experience with relapses, sometimes there's an obvious cause and sometimes it's underlying. Are you doing this to change your body? For control? Because of stress? To numb pain? Find your reason, and try to work through that.

find something to go back to recovery for. If you're not in a space where you can recover for yourself, that's okay. Do you have any pets that you need to be well to care for? Do you have friends you want to be able to love and hang out with without worrying about food? Family? A job or school you need maximum brain power for? Eat your favorite foods again without worry? It doesn't have to be anything big.

get off of triggering websites. Right now. Do it. Get off of twitter, pro Tumblr, TikTok or any other space on the internet that encourages eating disorders. It's not healthy, and will only lead to pain.

try your best to be nice to yourself. I know this one's pretty hard, but just hear me out. It doesn't have to be anything you're not comfortable with, just try saying, "I'm struggling with this right now, but I'm going to be okay." or "My body deserves proper nourishment."

you are sick enough. you don't need to keep getting sicker. you are deserving of help now, and you always have been. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone, you're valid. You don't need your ed to be valid, you always have been, with or without it.

If you have any questions, or just want to talk, feel free to send me a message or an ask! I'm always here for you guys ♡ Happy holidays!

I finally went to a Taco Bell Cantina thanks to my partner. 🌮🔔🥤🩵 It was awesome. 🔥 It’s been on my bucket list for a while. 🥰✅

Nothing can come between Taco Bell and I. Not even fatphobia. 💞💞💞 I deserve to find joy in food just as much as anyone/everyone who’s thinner than me does. 🌯✨

What do you think about some people in recovery saying "there are no good or bad foods". Whenever I see that, it always reassures me, but then the comments talk about how unhealthy certain foods are and talk about diabetes, heart problems, etc, and then I feel very triggered.

So I've posted a little bit about this before, and my constant saying is "food has no morality."

So here's the thing. There are objectively food items that contain higher concentrations of vitamins. There are also foods that give you your macronutrients in better ways than others. For people who have, say, high cholesterol, there are foods to be generally avoided to help keep it down. For those with fructose intolerance, veggies are a better go than fruits for getting your fiber. If you have high blood pressure, you'll want to eat a low-salt diet, but if you have low blood pressure, you might find yourself needing more salt than the average person.

Health and ideal diet varies incredibly. Though the diet industry will have you obsessed with food purity and only consuming foods they've deemed "good," our bodies are more complicated than that. And food is meant to be enjoyed. We are biologically wired to crave sugars, salts, fats, and carbs, because if we were living in more primitive conditions, these things would be much harder to come by and would provide lengthy boosts of caloric energy. The fact that we still crave these things today is not a moral failing, but an instinct. And indulging in treats because you enjoy them does not mean you're "being bad."

I'm sorry to hear you feel so anxious and triggered, though! It's certainly scary to hear constant fearmongering about food-related health problems. While lack of access to proper, balanced nutrition can be a contributing factor in several health problems, this will not be caused by eating the occasional dessert or having a comfort meal, especially if your other health needs are met. But no one else can understand your personal health needs - you have to work with your doctor based on what you know about your body. Unfortunately medical fatphobia is still rampant, and many doctors may assume that you have all of these health problems if you don't have a thin body. However, these health problems can only be confirmed by test. There are fat people who do not have diabetes. There are fat people who do not have heart disease. These things can only be diagnosed after proper testing has been done.

Keep in mind that, when you hear non-medical-professionals loudly insisting that body-positive and food-positive posters must have all these health problems, many of these people have dedicated their lives to weight loss and dieting and "clean eating" based on what was marketed to them. They have based their worth on their ability to stay thin. And so the thought that somebody else might be living their own best life not doing these things is completely counterintuitive to them at this point. So they might be triggered, themselves. It's hard and scary, but you can remind yourself when you're triggered that the majority of these people have no medical expertise.

Eating a single "unhealthy" food is not going to be the wrench in the system that kills your entire body. Unless, of course, you have an allergy or intolerance to something in that food.

Day two of cooking for myself: skirt steak

reminder that it is a GOOD thing to feel full after a day of eating. reminder to eat when you’re hungry even when you feel like you shouldn’t be hungry. reminder to be kind to your body <3

Hey!!! Hey you!!! Eat that snack you want but aren’t allowing yourself to enjoy!!! You deserve good food and tasty things!!!

I love you food I love you being able to feel full I love you having a healthy routine about food I love you tummy I love you not wanting to fast I love you food as celebration

If you ever feel bad about eating some cup noodles bc it’s “unhealthy” remember

As someone who struggles with sorts of thoughts themselves,

You deserve to treat yourself to tasty food

Cup noodles = happy brain

˗ˏˋFeatures that i find very lovely﹒✦

⟡. note:﹒✿୧

it can be incredibly difficult to love our insecurities, to even accept our appearance as something we don't need to change. especially when outlandish expectations and unrealistic standards are inescapable and compelled upon us! however, we don't need to look as the media persists, rather no individual does! embrace your insecurities, for they're what make yourself unique and remarkably beautiful! learning to love your appearance is a struggle, but you deserve love and acceptance, especially your own! thus, here's some compliments for the most common of insecurities that society has portrayed as unattractive (despite being so far from)!

⟡﹒acne/acne scars/blemishes/any skin discolouration!﹒✿୧

﹕although portrayed as imperfections by media, they're absolutely gorgeous! it's so difficult to fully comprehend the normality of acne due to media filters and the clear, unrealistically flawless skin that's promoted! regardless, they're so attractive! textured skin is normal, and by no means does having acne make you any less stunning!

⟡﹒stretch marks/cellulite!﹒✿୧

﹕there is no imperfection in having either, they're normal and an absolutely gorgeous feature! they show growth! wherever they are, whether on your stomach, thighs, bottom, biceps, etc. they're so beautiful!

⟡﹒tooth gaps/uneven teeth/overbite!﹒✿୧

﹕they're adorable! it's alright to have tooth gaps/uneven teeth and an overbite, rather normal! they make your smile unique, and evermore beautiful! please don't be hesitant to smile wide, your gorgeous smile deserves to be seen!

⟡﹒tummy rolls!﹒✿୧

﹕please, don't allow media to convince yourself that you must have an unnaturally flat stomach! rolls when seated, rolls overall are normal! additionally, they're so adorable! your stomach is perfect, whatever the size, just as it is! your body is wonderful, no less valid and loveable than any other.

⟡﹒hip dips!﹒✿୧

﹕hip dips are gorgeous! the shape and dimension they add to ones body is so attractive! you do not need to rid of them, please don't allow media to convince yourself your hips must be unnaturally rounded to be beautiful! i promise, they're so perfect as they are!

⟡﹒body hair!﹒✿୧

﹕society has persisted the standard that body hair (especially on feminine portraying individuals) is "dirty", "unhygienic" and "unattractive" which couldn't be any further from the truth! it's your body, please don't feel compelled to shave/wax due to this barbaric societal standard that you can only be beautiful without. body hair is normal, is NATURAL! whether on your arms, legs, face, armpits, it's all normal! you do not need to be hairless to be gorgeous!