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#foggy day in New York
ryanseslow · 7 months
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Enjoying the warm, saturated, dense NYC Fog from above.
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visit-new-york · 2 years
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Sunny winter day on the streets of Bryant Park
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View of Chrysler Building from Bryant Park at corner of 42nd and 5 Avenue of the Americas in afternoon. Chrysler Building on a Sunny Winter Day.
The Chrysler Building as viewed from Bryant Park is dwarfed by new supertall architecture, New York City, USA
Stand at the corner of Bryant Park, on the SE corner of 5th Ave. and 42nd St., at dusk. You'll see the lights come up on both the Chrysler Building.
Read also - Empire State Building
A Timeless Legacy
Stainless Steel Brilliance: The choice of stainless steel cladding for the Chrysler Building wasn't solely for its visual appeal but also for its resistance to weathering, ensuring that its shine endures through time.
Ceiling Spectacle: The lobby of the Chrysler Building boasts a breathtaking ceiling mural that portrays various forms of modern transportation, capturing the essence of progress and movement.
Symbol of Aspiration: As a representation of the city's ambition, the Chrysler Building stands as a symbol of New York City's unwavering determination to reach new heights, both architecturally and economically.
Iconic Silhouette: Its recognizable silhouette has become an emblem of New York City, often featured in various forms of media as a shorthand representation of the city itself.
Attention to Detail: The meticulous ornamentation of the Chrysler Building's exterior showcases the profound attention to detail and craftsmanship that defined the Art Deco movement.
Construction Marvels
Spire Assembly: The assembly of the Chrysler Building's spire was an engineering marvel of its time, using the "top-down" method to construct the intricate crown that adorns the building.
Transition in Styles: The design of the Chrysler Building marks a transition from earlier Beaux-Arts architectural styles, embracing a more modern and innovative approach to skyscraper design.
Distinctive Silhouette: Its unique setbacks and crown contribute to the building's visual appeal, captivating the imagination of onlookers with its distinctive and elegant form.
Skilled Artisans: The construction of the Chrysler Building was a collaborative effort that involved a multitude of skilled craftsmen, ranging from steelworkers to artisans specializing in decorative elements. Their dedication and expertise brought the architect's vision to life.
Enduring Spirit: The presence of the Chrysler Building symbolizes not only the architectural and engineering achievements of its time but also the enduring spirit and resilience of New York City as a whole.
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daily-palette · 16 days
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fotographee · 1 year
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without warning, the wizard walks by
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november 1, 2022 // 2:24 PM
click for higher resolution (-_- )ノ
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godfoggy · 2 years
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https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/od421qXwWypfD8SF6
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felicia-x · 8 months
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NYC//
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emaadsidiki · 2 years
Video
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Happy World Environment Day  ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻
Birds are indicators of the environment. – Roger Tory Peterson
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bellaxgiornata · 11 months
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List of Installments for All These Years
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader
Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut [Comfort now exists in this series!!]
Summary: You met Matthew Murdock unexpectedly at Columbia University and you couldn't deny that there was an instant attraction–for you. But for Matt, you became as close of a friend to him as Foggy did. As the years pass by, your feelings only grow for your best friend, but all you can do is watch as he dates and sleeps with every other woman on campus and eventually in New York City but you.
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Installment List
Part 1: "Saturday Night"
Part 2: "Of Drinking and Dishonesty"
Part 3: "Betrayal"
Part 4: "All the Broken Pieces"
Part 5: "Graduation"
Part 6: "The White Whale"
Part 7: "So Close Yet So Far"
Part 8: "Planting a Seed of Thought"
Part 9: "A Truth Revealed"
Part 10: "The Weight of Grief"
Part 11: "Last to Know"
Part 12: "Considering the Offer"
Part 13: "Breaking the News"
Part 14: "Day Late Friend"
Part 15: "What If...?"
Part 16: "The Death of Miscommunication"
Part 17: "Bridging the Distance"
Part 18: "A Series of Firsts"
Part 19: "Coffee, Brunch, and Hotel Rooms"
Part 20: "This Isn't Goodbye"
Part 21: "The Sound of Your Voice"
Part 22: "Declarations and Desire" {Coming Soon}
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chvoswxtch · 2 years
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tell me i'm wrong
pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader
summary: you've been dancing around your feelings for matt murdock for over a year. what happens when he confronts you about it?
warnings: cursing, drinking, some fluff, explicit sexual content (minors dni)
word count: 7.5k
a/n: no one asked for this. this is purely me being a selfish slut for matt murdock. friendly reminder that if sexual content or smut makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to skip this! as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!
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I slipped the key into the lock and turned it quietly, quickly letting myself in and gently closing the door behind me. After twisting the lock back into place, I made my way down the entryway and turned the corner to head straight for the fridge. The light from inside was the only illumination coating the otherwise dark apartment apart from the quick flashes of light from the giant billboard outside the window of the living room. I let out a huff as I scanned my alcohol choices, standing up on my tiptoes to see if there were any better options on top of the fridge. No such luck. I was about to reach for one of the shitty beers inside when a voice cut through the silence.
“What are you doing?”
I screamed as I spun around, slamming the refrigerator door shut with my back as I braced myself against it. I squinted my eyes to see the shadowy silhouette of a figure sitting on the couch. I ran a shaky hand over my face, attempting to get my breathing back under control.
“Jesus Christ, Matt. What the hell are you doing here?”
“I live here.”
“I realize that, smartass. I thought you’d be out..doing your..thing.”
“It’s still early.”
“I didn’t realize criminals followed the designated hours allotted for illegal activity.”
I could hear him snicker, and I just knew he had that stupid smirk on his face. I had known Matt Murdock for a little over a year after I started working as an assistant at his firm along with Karen. After a few high profile cases, they were getting more clients than they could keep track of and needed the extra help. Thus started my complicated relationship with Matt Murdock. Well, it wasn’t really complicated. I complicated it. I immediately developed a crush on him, and he was a flirty little shit that only made it worse. Sometimes I wasn’t sure if he knew what he was doing, or if he was doing it on purpose.
I had accidentally found out about his nighttime activities two months ago when I walked in on him changing out of his costume. He hadn’t shown up to the office that day, and Foggy kept insisting he was probably fine, just sick, but I couldn’t let it go. New York was a dangerous city, and Matt was blind. Or, so I thought. I had used my key he had given me for emergencies and let myself in, calls of his name dying on my tongue when I saw him standing in the middle of the living room with his helmet in his hands. Suddenly, everything kinda clicked. He was always running off at odd times, bailing on drinks after work, constantly not answering calls or texts, and there were always bruises and cuts popping up he would make simple excuses for.
We had both stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. There were a million thoughts swirling around in my head. I honestly didn’t know if I was surprised or pissed. Panic was evident on his face as he approached me slowly, like he was terrified I would bolt if he moved too fast, and had both of his hands held up in front of him.
“I..I know how this looks.”
“It looks like you’re going to be late for court. Get dressed and move your ass, Murdock. I’ll deal with you later.”
For once Matt Murdock had been rendered speechless, and I took pride in that. That charming fucker always had something to say, always had to have the last word. Even though I had promised him we would talk later, I avoided him like my life depended on it. I didn’t show up to his place later that night. I ignored every single one of his calls and texts. I called in sick for two days. I wanted him to know how it felt, to worry, and to be on the other side of a broken promise. To have absolutely no idea what was going on. A piece of me felt betrayed. I know I didn’t have a right to feel that way. Matt was my boss, and sort of my friend, but he owed me nothing. Especially not a secret like that. But still, it stung. I felt like I had been lied to the entire time I had known him. 
He had showed up at my apartment that second night I didn’t come to work, letting himself in through the window. I had a feeling he would. He wasn’t known for his patience. Although I must admit I was a little disappointed he didn’t show up in costume. I was on my third glass of wine and feeling brave, swirling the burgundy contents in my glass as I stared over at him.
“Tell me, how does a blind guy climb up a fire escape? Or are you even really blind?”
“I told you about my accident.”
“You did. But how am I supposed to determine what comes out of your mouth is true and what’s bullshit?”
“I..it’s complicated.”
“Then spell it out for me.”
Matt had finally given me the truth. He came clean about everything, about his heightened senses, about how he was trained as a kid, when he decided to become what he was. I still didn’t fully understand how he was able to do what he did, but I tried not to push it too far. In an odd way, it made things better between us. He didn’t lie anymore about what he was really up to, he promised to keep us updated on where he was going in case something went wrong, and he always promised to be careful. His suit and helmet may have been damn near indestructible, but he was still human underneath. While I knew he could handle himself, I had seen the video evidence, I still worried about him. And every night for the past two months, I found myself unable to fall asleep until I got the one message I had made him promise to send me every night. 
I’m home.
“Are you just here for my beer?”
“I was hoping for something a little stronger, but I guess I’ll have to settle.”
“Wow, stealing from a blind guy. Have you no morals?”
“Hey, I was gonna leave a twenty on the counter.”
“How generous of you.”
“Do me a favor next time you do a beer run, get something good. Not this German shit. I’m talking Mexican Lager, maybe a little beer salt, some limes. Be considerate of those who raid your stash while you’re out making the world a better place.”
I twisted the top off the bottle and threw it into the trash, making my way over to sit down on the couch opposite the one Matt was sitting on. I could see him better from this spot. The light from the billboard made the red of his glasses almost glow. I rarely ever saw Matt not in his lawyer gear, or his other suit. It was refreshing to see him in a black tshirt, that looked like it had been dried one too many times, and a pair of dark gray sweatpants. He looked..cozy.
“Can I ask you something?”
“I feel like even if I say no, you’re going to anyway.”
Matt pursed his lips into a pout of contempt. I had been getting fed up with his teasing, so I decided to start dishing it right back. It was kinda fun to get him all riled up for a change.
“Go ahead.”
“You’ve been..oddly calm about all of this. I mean..even from the moment you found me in the suit. I was expecting you to-”
“Freak out?”
“Well, yeah. Or at the very least, lecture me. I got an earful from Foggy when he found out.”
Matt had sat up a little straighter, resting his elbows on his knees as he clasped his hands in front of him. There was a time when I thought I could shamelessly stare at him without fear of being caught damn near drooling. In the beginning, I did. I didn’t panic when he turned his head towards me, because I didn’t think he could see me. I didn’t think I was getting caught. Of course after Matt had told me the truth about his abilities, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole realizing that he had been aware the entire fucking time.
Letting out a sigh, I ran my fingers through my hair and took another sip from the beer.
“You’re a grown man, Matt. Nothing I say or do is going to change your mind. You’re going to do what you want regardless of what any of us say.”
“Yeah but..you’re the only one that’s a little..warmer to the idea. You’ve had no apprehensions about it, not once. You don’t think it’s wrong?”
“I’m not exactly the person you should be asking that.”
“Why not?”
“Because my moral compass isn’t exactly as straight as everyone else's.”
“I want to know what you really think. You’ve been holding back.”
“Does it matter?”
“It does to me.”
“Aren’t you Catholic? Shouldn’t you only worry about what God thinks?”
“He’s..a little hard to get a hold of sometimes.”
“She.”
Matt perked his head up, a slight chuckle leaving his mouth as he looked over at me incredulously.
“I thought you weren’t religious?”
“I’m not. But if there is a God, she’s a woman.”
“Fair enough.”
There was no easy way to get out of a conversation with Matt Murdock. Once he had his teeth sunk into something, there was no letting go. My choices were to give in and give him what he wanted, or deal with his relentless pestering until he got it. I let out another deep sigh as I leaned back into his stupid expensive comfy couch.
“I know there’s an idealistic part of you that thinks the system works. But I also know there’s a more realistic side of you that can acknowledge that often, it fails. If you didn’t feel that way, you wouldn’t be running around rooftops in your little red number every night. I don’t believe in absolutes. I don’t think there’s just good and evil, or black and white; there’s a lot of gray area. I guess..that’s where you come in.”
“So, you don’t think it’s wrong?”
“The short answer? No.”
“But you feel for them.”
“You forget I come from a family of criminals.”
“But you didn’t end up like them.”
“Because I chose not to. That doesn’t mean I’m not sympathetic. I got lucky. I made my own choice. Some of those people out there..feel like they don’t have one. So yeah, maybe you get them put away and they’re out in a week or a month, but that’s a week or a month they have time to make a choice of their own. And if they make the wrong one, then you’ll be there. Look, I don’t like that you’re out there every night putting your life, and your career, at risk. But I also get why you do it. There are those assholes who think they’re above the law because they pay the ones that enforce it to work in their favor. So if they lie under oath, it’s only fair they get to meet the Devil.”
“You worry about me?”
There was that signature, shit-eating grin on his face. God he was insufferable sometimes. I wanted to climb across this coffee table and smack it off, but he would probably have me pinned down before I had a chance. On second thought..might not be such a bad idea. I groaned in exasperation, finishing off the bottle in my hand.
“Yes, Matthew. I worry about you, alright? Sue me.”
“I know a good lawyer.”
“Oh fuck off. Look, can we save our Hallmark moment? Or do you feel the need to milk it for all it’s worth?”
Every single one of his stupid perfect white teeth were on display as he grinned widely at me, his broad shoulders moving slightly with every snicker that came from his chest. Matthew Murdock had to be the most infuriating man I had ever met. It was like he lived to tease and test my patience.
A comfortable silence washed over us after a while. My thumb lightly brushed over the label on the bottle as I stared out the window, thinking about what might be waiting out there for Matt tonight. No matter how much I didn’t want to, my mind always drifted to him. I was constantly thinking about him. My thoughts often wandered to the night he had told me the truth, about everything. 
That night, realization dawned on me like the first sun after a long winter. He knew. He knew all along that I had been watching him, staring shamelessly. He always heard the way my heartbeat quickened whenever he entered the room, or was suddenly close to me. He could feel the rise in temperature in my cheeks from his lighthearted flirting. He knew..but never said anything. Never acted on it. After his confession, I crossed off the possibility that he had no idea what he was doing to me. Maybe it was really all a game to him.
“What is it?”
“Huh?”
“What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing.”
“I don’t know why you still bother trying to lie when you know I can tell when you are. Besides, I can practically hear the words buzzing in your head.”
“Okay, your hearing isn’t that good. And I’m gonna keep practicing my lying skills until one day even I can trick the human lie detector, Matthew Murdock.”
“Lie detectors actually don’t work very well. They’re kind of bullshit.”
Normally I wouldn’t concede in our banter so easily, but it was getting late and I was exhausted. I was also completely on edge knowing at any second, Matt was going to subject himself to the violent dangers of Hell’s Kitchen leaving me a mess of anxiety waiting on that one message that would finally put me at ease.
“Come on, talk to me. I still got some time to kill. Tell me what’s going on in that little head of yours.”
I racked my brain for anything I could use along the lines of what was running through my head without completely giving myself away. I curled up into the side of his couch, resting my hand on my palm as I looked over at him.
“What..what do you see, exactly? I know you kind of explained it to me..but I’m just curious. I mean is it like..sonar? Shadows or shapes? White noise?”
“It’s more like..a world on fire.”
“Well that sounds..pleasant.”
“Why?”
“What?”
“Why do you ask?”
Shit. I tapped my nail lightly against the side of the bottle, shrugging my shoulders a bit now that I knew he could tell when I did that.
“I’m just..trying to understand. Foggy..um..he always says that you always know when girls are pretty so..I guess I was just wondering what you saw. When you look at people, I mean. You can..see them.”
“Short answer, yes. In my own way, I can tell what people look like.”
Maybe that was it. Maybe he could see me, and wasn’t impressed. Maybe he didn’t think I was as pretty as all his other girlfriends and that’s why he never said anything. Leave it to me to not even be a blind guy’s “type”. It certainly wasn’t because we worked together. That didn’t stop him and Karen, which was a painfully awkward conversation to have with her once she found out about my infatuation with him.
“I know that you’re pretty.”
My head snapped in Matt’s direction and I expected to see his usual stupid smirk coating his lips, but he was just smiling. A real, genuine smile. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Was this a trick?
“What?”
“I said I think you’re pretty.”
“Oh..Foggy tell you that? You know you can’t trust his judgment after tequila.”
The smile on his mouth only stretched further as he shook his head slowly, bracing his palms on his knees.
“No, I can tell for myself.”
I didn’t know what to say. Matt had never called me pretty before. He flirted with me like it was his own personal mission from God, but I never thought he actually found me attractive. I didn’t know he could. I promptly became self conscious of the fact that I was wearing a flimsy tank top with a cropped zip up hoodie and a pair of leggings that had small holes forming on the inner thighs where they had been worn down. I didn’t think he was going to be here, so I didn’t bother with changing. I had never had a reason to be self conscious about my appearance with Matt before. But now I knew that he could see me, and thought that I was pretty.
“Does that bother you?”
“What?”
Matt rose from his spot on the couch, taking careful steps around the coffee table until he could take his place right beside me. If he moved even a centimeter closer, his knee would brush against mine.
“Does it bother you that I think you’re pretty?”
“Oh..um..n-no. But..you knew that already..right?”
“I wanted to hear you say it.”
Matt was closer in proximity than he ever had been before, and the scent of his cologne was intoxicating. I had to stop myself from leaning in to nuzzle his neck. His large hands were braced against his thighs, as if he was waiting for something. I loved Matt’s hands. I knew what they were capable of, but I wanted to know what they could do to me.
“How does it make you feel?”
“What?”
“That I think you’re pretty. How does it make you feel?”
“Matt-”
“Don’t be shy, Y/N. Be a good girl and tell me how it makes you feel.”
Good girl. Those two words went straight to my core and caused me to press my thighs together tightly, which did not go unnoticed by Matt. He noticed fucking everything. His eyebrows rose slightly above his crimson colored glasses, that familiar smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Oh, did you like that?”
I didn’t know if my frustration was purely sexual or just due to Matt being a cocky son of a bitch but I couldn’t stand to be around him for another second. I hadn’t eaten since lunch so I was pathetically buzzed off of one beer, further intoxicated by the scent of his cologne that had weaved its way through my lungs, and internally begging to hear more filthy words fall from his graceful lips in that dangerously low voice. As much as my body was screaming for his touch, my brain reminded me just how much he pissed me off. I slammed my empty bottle on the table as I stood.
“I am so fucking over your little games, Murdock.”
Matt’s hand darted out in a flash to grip onto my wrist, not hard enough to leave a mark, but just enough to let me know I wasn’t leaving. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I looked down at him and swallowed thickly. There was a somewhat pained look on his face and his jaw clenched slightly.
“Don’t. It’s not a game.”
Without warning, he pulled me down onto his lap with an ease that caused a sharp gasp to fall from my lips at just how strong he was. His arm snaked around my back, trapping me against his firm chest so that our faces were merely an inch apart. I flattened my palms against his chest, not like I could push him away even if I really tried. I could feel his warm breath fanning over my lips.
“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me that I read this all completely wrong, and you can walk out that door, and we can pretend that this never happened. I won’t bring it up again, I swear. But if you do want this..God, I need to know.”
My heart was pounding so loudly in my ears it was deafening. I wondered what it must sound like to him. To me, it must have resembled a hummingbird fluttering around in a cage. But for Matt, it had to be far more intense, like a marching band plowing right through my ribcage. I reached up with trembling hands, grabbing onto the sides of Matt’s glasses and gently pulled them off of his face. 
I always thought Matt’s eyes were beautiful. There were swirls of deep caramel intermingled with honey golden embers and splashed with tiny flecks of jade. He brought his other hand down to rest on my waist, his thumb pressing light circles against my hip bone through the fabric of my leggings. God did I want to kiss him. I wanted to throw caution to the wind, bite the bullet and finally get what I had been craving since that first day.
But fear crept into the back of my mind and turned my blood cold. What did this mean? What would it change? Would I be just another shiny new toy that Matt would discard in a month once he got bored? I didn’t think I had the grace to carry on with business as usual like Karen had. This would change everything for me. There would be an entirely different rendition of “normal” if we crossed this line, and I had no idea what it meant to Matt.
“Let it go for tonight.”
“Let what go?”
“Everything you’re worrying about right now. I promise whatever happens, you and I will work it out together tomorrow morning. Line by line.”
“Matt..”
“Tell me you want this, Y/N.”
“You can hear my heart.”
“I want to hear you say it. I need to hear you say it. Please.”
My mind was swimming with curiosities and consequences. I could give in. I could relinquish complete control and finally get to have Matt Murdock like I had been dreaming about since we first met. And even if the flame burns out too quickly for my liking, at least I’ll always be able to remember this night. And if I don’t, I could spend the rest of my life wondering what I had missed out on. Agonizing if I had made a mistake. Which was worse? To have a little taste, or nothing at all?
“I..I want this. I want you, Matt.”
In an instant his lips were crashing onto mine, grabbing onto the back of my neck to pull me impossibly closer. Our teeth and tongues thrashed together with insatiable hunger. Matt’s kisses were rough and needy and it lit a blaze within me. I had never wanted someone so badly. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and tugged my head to the side, granting himself full access to my neck. He left a burning trail of kisses down my neck and I whined when I felt his teeth sink into the juncture above my collarbone. 
“Your scent drives me fucking crazy. Ever since you first stepped into the office..it was everywhere. It still fucking is. Doesn’t matter how many times I wash my clothes, how long it’s been since you’ve been in the office, or my apartment, your fucking scent is everywhere..and it goes straight to my cock. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to excuse myself to go fuck my hand in the bathroom like a horny fucking teenager because of you?”
“M-Matt..”
His fingers swiftly tugged at the zipper of my hoodie, shoving it down my shoulders and throwing it across the floor. He gripped the top of my tank top and ripped it completely in half like a piece of paper, carelessly discarding the scraps. A gasp of surprise left me but was completely cut off by a loud moan when Matt pulled me roughly down onto his lap.
“Can you feel that? Can you feel what you fucking do to me?”
I could feel the entire outline of Matt’s hardened bulge as he grabbed my hips, pulling me down even harder against him. I let my head fall back and moaned wantonly at the feeling of his hard on rubbing against me right where I wanted him. I was surprised he had actually unclasped my bra instead of ripping it off with all of my other clothing. My nipples instantly peaked from the rush of cool air and goosebumps littered my naked skin. My mouth hung open at the contrast of Matt’s warm large hands fondling my breasts, squeezing them roughly. His mouth latched onto one of my nipples, alternating between sucking and biting down on the sensitive flesh. He splayed one of his large hands flat against my back, keeping me in place so I couldn’t escape the delicious torture. 
“I can fucking smell your arousal. I can smell how fucking soaked you are right now. Fuck..I can’t wait to tear you apart.”
I whined as I gripped at the collar of his shirt, giving it a light tug hoping he would get the hint. As he pulled his shirt off his head, I took the opportunity to rush forward and drag my tongue along the sharp outline of his jaw, nipping at the skin under his ear. He grunted as he suddenly shot up with me in his arms, turning slightly to drop me onto my back on the couch as he ripped my leggings down my thighs. I gulped as I watched him shove his sweats down, climbing onto the couch on his knees in front of me. He flashed me a devilish grin before sounds of seams ripping and tearing filled the ear. My mouth hung open in shock as I stared at the remnant shreds of my panties in his hand.
“Matt-”
Before I could register what was happening, he placed one of his large hands over my mouth and shoved two of his fingers into my soaking pussy. I whined against his hand, staring up at him above me with wide eyes.
“Shh, you’re gonna be a good girl for me, aren’t you? Gonna let me take what I want? Gonna let me use you like my own little whore, yeah?”
A fresh wave of arousal flooded between my thighs. The sweet, charming Matt Murdock was long gone. The devil had come out to play. 
Matt wasted no time settling between my thighs, diving face first into my pussy like a man starved. I cried out in pleasure as he bit down on my clit, soothing it with his tongue before sucking on the sensitive nub without remorse. His beard burned as it rubbed against my thighs, but it felt so fucking good at the same time. One of his hands clamped down on my thigh to keep it spread and he locked my hips down in place with his arm so I couldn’t move at all. All I could do was lie there and take it as he took what he wanted. As he worked me over with his tongue, his fingers explored deep inside of me, curling up upon exit every now and then and brushing against that special spot. I wasn’t going to last.
“Matt..M-Matt fuck..I..I’m g-”
I nearly cried when he roughly retracted his fingers and removed his mouth. I shot up instantly to reach out for him, face contorted in annoyance and ready to protest. His hand suddenly wrapped around my throat, squeezing just enough to get me to stay still. A warning. I grabbed onto his wrist with both of my hands. My entire body felt like it was on fire. His lips were red and swollen, and coated with my wetness that was dripping down his chin. The smirk on his lips grew more wicked by the second.
“I didn’t say you could come. You don’t get to come unless it’s on my cock, understand? You have to earn it. You have to prove to me that you’re a good girl, and beg for it. If I even think you’re going to come without permission, I will tie you up and leave you here all fucking night. Tell me you understand.”
“I..I u-understand.”
“Good.”
I sucked in a deep breath when Matt let go of my neck. His large hands gripped my hips savagely and he flipped me over without hesitation onto my stomach. He shoved his knee in between my thighs to spread them apart, pulling me up onto my knees so that my ass was straight up in the air. I whined loudly when I felt the sting of his palm slapping harshly against my ass. I didn’t have to turn around to know there would be a perfect outline of his hand. I could hear the rustling of clothing behind me as he shoved his briefs down his muscular thighs. 
“Give me your hands.”
I swallowed thickly as I turned my head slightly so that my face was flush against the cushion of the couch, reaching my hands behind my back. Matt took both of my wrists into one of his hands, holding them firmly against my back. I surged forward and cried out when he abruptly shoved the head of his cock into my needy pussy. He didn’t give me time to adjust and before I knew it I could feel his hips against my ass as he fully sheathed himself inside me. I heard a guttural groan rip through his chest behind me and it went straight to my core. 
“Fuck..you’re even fucking tighter than I thought you’d be. Gripping my cock so fucking good.”
Matt’s thrusts were rigorous and unrelenting as he pounded into me. My body surged forward with every powerful snap of his hips. I had never been fucked like this before. My head was spinning and it was becoming more and more difficult to stay up on my knees with the pace Matt was fucking me at. I felt him grab a large fistful of my hair, yanking me backwards so that my back was arched even more. I moaned sharply at the new angle that allowed him to drive deeper inside of me. He was so big and thick, and it burned delectably everytime he pushed in further. 
“M-Matt..please..please I-I can’t..”
“Gonna come already? Don’t be a greedy slut. I’m not done yet.”
“I c-can’t..c-can’t hold it..”
“You better fucking find a way to hold it.”
I didn’t want him to stop. I didn’t think I could handle it if he stopped. I needed him. I dug my nails so hard into my palms I thought they would bleed. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying my hardest not to combust. I clenched my pussy around his length which earned a luscious groan from deep within his chest.
“Fuck angel..you want it that bad, don’t you? Want me to fill this pretty little cunt up?”
“Yes, yes, yes..please..please-fuck..”
Matt let go of my hair and moved his hand between my thighs, beginning to rub his fingers over my clit at a brutal pace. I jerked back against him and nearly screamed at the contact, feeling that band within me dangerously close to snapping.
“Go ahead, angel. Come for me. Let go, and don’t you fucking hold back. I want it all.”
My thighs shook as my orgasm hit me like a tsunami, leaving my body a convulsing mess against him. I moaned his name over and over like a prayer, grinding my ass back against him as I tried to survive the aftershocks. Matt moaned loudly as he spilled inside of me with a vengeance, leaning forward over my back to clamp his teeth down on my shoulder. I whimpered softly as I felt his tongue brush over the spot to soothe the pain.
I cried out again when I felt his length slip out of me, only to be replaced by his fingers as he cupped my pussy, keeping his release inside of me. His hot breath fanned over my ear as he nipped at it, speaking lowly in a gravely tone. 
“Don’t think I’m fucking done with you yet.”
I whimpered at his words and nearly fell apart all over again. It wasn’t a threat, it was a promise. Matt maneuvered me back onto his lap, spreading my thighs on the opposite sides of his. As fast as he withdrew his fingers from me, he was pulling me down onto his half hard cock until he bottomed out inside of me. My mouth hung wide open and I wanted to scream at the sensation, but I couldn’t speak. I could feel him everywhere. I had never felt so full and so whole.
“You gotta earn this one, angel. Show me how good of a girl you can be.”
Matt wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, caging me against his chest once again. My thighs burned and felt like jelly, I wasn’t even sure if I could move. I didn’t know if it was my own desire or my need to please Matt, but somehow I found my strength. I grabbed onto his broad shoulders for support, beginning to rock my hips back and forth slowly. I whined from the sensitivity, leaning in to bury my face into the crook of his neck.
“That’s it..just like that. Look so pretty when you’re taking my cock, angel.”
The embers had been reignited and the fire began to grow within my belly once more. I took the opportunity to leave open-mouthed kisses along his neck, sucking softly at the nape of it. The breathy little moans that left his lips only spurred me on further. I bit down gently on his neck and heard him hiss, roughly digging his fingertips into the flesh of my hips. I couldn’t wait to see the marks he had left on me tomorrow. I wanted to make one of my own.
I sucked aggressively at the skin just above his collarbone, testing my luck as I bit down harder than I had before. I gasped when I felt his hand wrap around my throat again, bringing our faces closer together as the corner of his lips curled up in a snarl.
“Did I say you get to fucking tease?”
“N-no..I’m sorry..”
“Then what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“I..I just wanted..wanted t-to make you f-feel good too..”
“You wanna make me feel good? Ride my fucking cock.”
Matt smacked his hand against my ass sharply, earning another loud moan from me. His grip on my waist tightened as he leaned back against the cushions to stare at me. I bit down on my lip hard, starting to move my hips in slow figure eights. I was trying so hard to keep a steady pace, but I couldn’t focus. My body felt weak and my brain was erratic from how turned on I was. Matt’s patience wore thin as he held me steady and began to snap his hips up into mine repeatedly, causing me to bounce on his cock at an unforgiving pace. I squeezed my eyes shut and threw my head back, digging my nails into his shoulder as I held on.
“Oh fuck..fuck fuck fuck..fuck Matt!”
The apartment was filled with sounds of his thighs slapping against my ass, his cock pistoning inside of my gushing pussy, and the violent growls that rang from his throat. I felt like he might actually tear me apart, and God what a way to fucking go. I grabbed onto the back of his neck tightly, pressing my forehead against his as I moaned even louder. I was gonna break.
“M-Matt..I..I..”
“Come. Come all over my fucking cock, angel. Let me have it.”
I crushed my chest against his, holding onto him as tightly as I could as my second orgasm tore through my body with retribution. I was a screaming, incoherent mess as wave after wave of pleasure racked through me. I could feel Matt’s hips stutter slightly as he came with a loud grunt, coating my walls with ropes of warmth once again. My heart pounded violently in my chest and I struggled to take in oxygen. I was shaking in Matt’s arms as he held me, nearly on the verge of tears. I had never felt so good.
Matt gently ran his fingers through my hair, brushing it out of my face as he pressed a soft kiss to the side of my head. He lightly trailed his fingertips up and down my spine slowly, brushing his nose along the curve of my jaw until his lips were on mine. His kisses continued along my neck as he whispered softly in my ear.
“Can you give me one more baby?”
I started to panic. I didn’t know if I could physically or mentally take one more. I whimpered as I hid my face in Matt’s neck, tightening my grip on his back.
“Matt..I don’t-”
“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’ll help you. Just one more for me, baby. You can do it, I know you can.”
Matt slowly lifted us off the couch, his arms wrapped tightly around me and his length still settled inside of me as he carried me into his bedroom and laid me down gently on the bed. He kept himself inside of me the entire time. I panted softly as I looked up at him. He placed his hands on either side of my head, a soft smile on his lips as he leaned down to brush our noses together.
“I’m gonna go slow, okay?”
He gently pulled my legs up to wrap around his waist, taking one of my hands and intertwining our fingers together as he held it by my head. The way he was looking at me made butterflies erupt in my stomach, and I felt my heart squeeze in my chest. The devil had his fun, now my sweet, charming Matt Murdock was back. He kissed me gingerly as he began to lazily move our hips together.
My entire body felt like a live wire and every time our hips connected it sent a jolt of electricity through me that made me wanna scream. It just felt so good. I couldn’t stop the tears that slipped down my cheeks or the sobs of pleasure that sounded from my lips. Matt pressed his forehead against mine as he lightly brushed the tears away with his thumb.
“I know baby..I know. I feel it too. I’ve wanted this for so long Y/N..wanted you for so long. God, you have no idea. You belong with me, Y/N.”
I didn’t trust myself to speak. I didn’t know if I could tell you my own fucking name if you had asked right then. The only thing I could focus on was Matt and how perfectly we fit. I squeezed his hand tightly, feeling myself being brought closer and closer to the edge with every stroke. Matt leaned in to capture my lips in a passionate kiss. I reveled in the feeling of his body weight on top of me. It felt right. I felt safe. 
“Matt..”
“I know, baby. You’re doing so well for me..so so well. I’m so proud of you, angel. Just a little longer baby, I’m almost there. Can you hold on for me just a little longer? Gonna make you feel so good baby, I promise.”
I could hardly hear Matt’s saccharine voice as my third orgasm of the night was steadily approaching. Matt gripped onto the sheets beside my head and sped his pace up just a bit. I didn’t have time to warn him, but he knew. He could feel it. He gently grabbed the back of my neck and pressed his forehead to mine, his voice shaking as he spoke.
“Let go baby, let it all go. I’m right here. I’m right here..I got you. I’m right here, angel.”
My vision became fuzzy, somewhat resembling the inside of a kaleidoscope, and I thought I was going to black out. It was like a bomb inside me had exploded, sending fragments flying that left me shaking uncontrollably. Euphoria rushed over me in unrelenting phases, and it felt like I was free falling throughout space. Matt Murdock had completely ruined me. It took several minutes before I came back down into coherency. 
As my vision came back into focus, I could see Matt still hovering above me. He was lightly brushing his thumb across my cheekbone in a loving gesture, a small smile languidly forming on his lips.
“There you are. I missed you.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, turning my head to lean further into Matt’s touch. I was still trying to regain my bearings as I breathed heavily. Matt leaned down to press gentle kisses to my forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips. He slid his length out me as carefully as he could, but even just the brush of his pubic hair against my overstimulated clit sent another jolt through me and tears pricked at the corner of my eyes again. I whimpered as I could feel a rush of warmth between my thighs where his three rounds of release had begun to spill.
“I’m sorry, angel. I know. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna get you some water.”
I couldn’t move. It felt like there were invisible cinder blocks all over my body holding me down. No one had ever made me come like that, let alone three times in a row. Matt emerged a moment later with his briefs slung low on his hips, a glass of water and a small towel in hand. He sat down beside me, weaving his arm around my back to hold me up against his chest as he brought the glass to my lips.
“Here, baby. Drink as much as you can.”
Once he was satisfied with my water intake, he began to cautiously clean me up with the warm towel. I gripped onto his arm when he touched me where I was sensitive, to which he kissed my temple as a silent apology. He hooked his arms under my knees and back, shifting me over onto the part of the bed that wasn’t drenched with our release. As he laid down beside me, he carefully swung my leg over his waist and held me tightly against his chest.
I could finally hear his heartbeat for once with my head on his chest. It was fast, but steady and strong. I lightly traced my fingertips along the scars that covered his skin. The action quickly sobered me up as I glanced out the window, wondering how late it was.
“Matt?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you..still going out?”
“No. I used all my fighting bad guy energy to fuck you senseless.”
I immediately blushed and hid my face into his neck, lightly slapping at his chest.
“Matthew!”
“What?”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“And you’re beautiful.”
My breath caught in my throat at his words. That was what had started all of this. Those little words had jumpstarted the best night of my entire life. But I couldn’t stop myself from letting my mind wander about how long this night would actually last. His words from earlier echoed loudly in my mind. You belong with me, Y/N.
“Did you mean it?”
“When I said you’re beautiful?”
“No..when you said..I belong with you.”
Matt turned his head slightly so that he was facing me, cupping my cheek in his large hand while his thumb lightly ghosted over my bottom lip.
“I meant it.”
There were so many questions I had, I couldn’t keep track. How was this going to work? How could it work? What if it ended badly? What if something happened to Matt? I was completely exhausted both physically and mentally, and every question that popped into my head only made me feel more lightheaded. I knew Matt could hear my heartbeat going frantic again when he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.
“Hey, I told you. We’ll figure it out in the morning. Together. Alright?”
“Alright.”
“Get some rest, angel. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
I had no idea what tomorrow morning would bring, but at least I could take comfort in knowing that I was waking up in Matt’s arms. We would figure it out, together, line by line. And oh, it was definitely fucking better to have a little taste than nothing at all. 
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courtforshort15 · 1 year
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All I Feel is You
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem Reader
Word Count: 10,700
Summary: The story of how Matt Murdock falls in love with you, as told through the five senses
Trigger Warnings: Mentions of sex and oral sex
Written for this post by @dorothleah
Seriously guys, this was supposed to be short🤣🤣
Masterlist
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1. Touch
The fabrics you tend to wear are warm and inviting and almost begging to be touched. Every single thread is soft and calming, more so than what Matt is accustomed to finding on friends and the general public, and it's become a much welcomed change. He's noticed that you very rarely wear cotton, instead sticking to silk and satin and cashmere, and though you’ve only been at the firm a scant few weeks, he is addicted and can’t help but want to run his fingers up and down the fabric, dying to know how it would feel underneath his fingertips. 
He’s felt silk and satin and cashmere before, often preferring those materials on his own skin, but he’s never felt them on you, and it somehow still changes the way he gravitates towards them. The thought is arousing and enticing in a way he would have never thought possible. 
The fabric slides over your skin as you move, and Matt finds the sound almost distracting, wishing it was his fingers that were sliding over you instead. When you wear dresses, the material sways around your legs as you walk by him, and it takes everything in Matt to not pull you close and slide your dress up, just so that he can test if the clothing you wear is as soft as the inside of your thighs.
His fingers twitch at his sides whenever you move past him, ruthlessly pushing all indecent thoughts away and out of his head. He knows that if he were ever to touch you like the way he's hungered for weeks, he'd never be able to stop. 
Matt very nearly loses all semblance of control the first time you grab his hand and place it around the crook of your elbow, silk blouse pressed between his flesh and yours. 
Typically Foggy is the one to lead him, perhaps even Karen, because leading a visually impaired individual is a skill, and it requires a certain level of finesse and anticipation of the other’s needs. You’ve been hesitant, he’s aware, to guide him, though not because you don’t want to help him; it’s because you’re afraid you’ll mess up, you admit, and he outwardly laughs in your face. 
You flush, smacking his chest, and tell him you’re nervous you’ll forget to remind him of a step up or down, nervous you’ll walk him right into something or someone. He finds it adorable, especially given the fact that he has better coordination and direction than you ever will.
He’s not ready to tell you that yet, though the secret is constantly brimming at his lips, ready to spill at any given moment, regardless of the consequences.
But one day Foggy has a late meeting with a client across town, and Karen has left early for a date, and it’s just you left in the office with him. The long work day ends with a quiet sigh, the office pleasantly peaceful as the last few hours of work tamper off, and Matt startles when you kindly offer to help walk him home. It’s later than you’re usually at the office, and Matt briefly wonders if you’ve stayed because he had needed to finish things and wasn’t able to leave at a decent time.
Matt strives for a healthier life-work-vigilante balance, has worked for it since things ended with Fisk a little over a year ago, but he’s still a work in progress. He’s addicted to his work, both the work that sees the light of day and the work that doesn’t, and he still sometimes forgets that it impacts others, too, despite the constant drilling of these details into his mind by Foggy and Karen.
“It’s really not necessary,” he tells you with a laugh after the offer spills from your lips, packing his things up and putting his suit jacket back on, sliding his arms through the sleeves. The weather is still decently temperate, the warmth of summer still desperately clinging to New York City, but he can already feel the way the air outside has started cooling down now that the sun has almost finished its descent below the skyscrapers that surround the neighborhood. “I know my way around Hell’s Kitchen well enough. I’ll be okay.” 
And the words are true enough, with or without his senses. He’s a New York City boy, through and through, and he knows these streets and city blocks like the back of his hand.
You pick up your purse, pushing the strap over one shoulder, before turning back to him. The sound of your hair and the smell of the shampoo still clinging to each strand stirs a sense of want and yearning, one he so desperately wants to satisfy. 
“What if it makes me feel better?”
Matt shakes his head, smirking, the look on his face something Foggy would probably label as the typical Matt Murdock charm. The ticking of the clock echoes through the office, and though he can't read the time, the dull sounds of the New York City streets outside the window tells him it's later than he thought it was.
“And what if the idea of you going out of your way at night just to walk me home makes me feel worse?” He’s teasing, of course, though there’s some level of truth to it. He hates the idea of you walking alone at night, knowing far too well the danger that seems to always lurk in the alleyways, knowing far too well that even he can’t be everywhere at once, should something happen to you.
The words that leave his mouth seem to temporarily quiet you, but Matt’s not shocked when the silence ends after only a moment or two. You're usually quick with a rebuttal, your mind always sifting through sentences and body language, and Matt waits in amusement as you work to find the right reply for the situation. 
“It’s hardly night,” you finally respond, decidedly shoving the concern aside easily. “It’s only 7. There’s still a little light out.”
Matt may not be able to see the way his face lights up or darkens with certain expressions, but he knows he’s giving you the driest look possible. “You’d still be going far out of your way. Don’t you live in the opposite direction?”
He hears you scoff, though the sound is more amused than anything. “I can walk you home and take a cab back to my place.”
“You should take a cab back to your place regardless of where you are at this time at night,” he counters, stepping completely out of his office and into the lobby of their space, briefcase in one hand, cane in the other. “But I promise I’m fine on my own. It’s only a few blocks.”
“Humor me.” 
It’s a last ditch effort, he’s well aware, if the helpless sigh you let out is anything to go by. You’re waiting for him by the front door, and Matt, despite his protests, wants nothing more than to walk through it with you and bring you home with him.
“Fine,” he says with another sly grin, and he hears the way you exhale in relief. “But only because I’m not going to pass up a few extra minutes with you when you’ve so graciously offered them.”
The words settle between the two of you, and Matt can feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks as vividly as if he was pressed up against you. Your heart skips briefly, and the sound reverberates in his head. He laughs internally in pure satisfaction when you gulp.
“Fine,” you repeat the word back to him, voice slightly higher than it had been a few moments ago, and Matt can’t help but still be secretly pleased with the reaction you’ve given him. “Are you ready then?”
He gestures towards the exit. “Whenever you are.”
“Good,” you say, turning to open the door, but before you can step through it, you pause. Matt tilts his head at you curiously, wordlessly questioning the silence and the way you've hesitated. 
“So…this is an awkward question, and I don’t know how to do it delicately, so I’ll just dive in. At what point–”
Matt cuts you off, suddenly knowing where this was going. This time he's unable to hold back a laugh. “You want to know when you should offer your arm.”
There’s not a moment of hesitation on your end when you answer. “Yeah, pretty much.”
The grin on his face widens, and Matt wonders if it’s possible to ever frown when you’re around. “I can make my way to the elevator just fine,” he says with a brief shrug of his shoulders, unsnapping his cane as he takes a few steps forward. “But having help after that is always appreciated.”
“Got it,” you reply with a quick nod. You turn back to the door, finally opening it up, and step back so that he has room to walk through. “After you, Matt.”
He resists the urge to brush past you as closely as he possibly can, and instead places a careful distance between your body and his. It's almost excruciating, this self-imposed separation, but he pushes the feeling down.
He doesn't need your assistance with this particular task, but he'll be damned if he doesn't take full advantage.
It’s not long before the elevator is dropping you down at the lowest level, and the doors slide open with a quiet ding. He follows your lead, taking a step outside and into the fresh air of the building lobby, and waits patiently for you to reach for him.
Your hand is trembling as it stretches out to grab his, Matt notes curiously, but it’s steady by the time it pulls him slightly forward. Soft fingers settle on the skin of his wrist, and he adjusts his body so that he’s grasping the crook of your elbow as you step further in.
Matt’s stood intoxicatingly close to you before. He's felt the heat of your body close to his as you pass him files, or when you sit next to him at lunch. He’s felt the length of your hair brush his arm lightly as you reach for something that is on the other side of him, felt the way your breath fans over his face when you lean in to whisper something in his ear while at court. It drives him crazy, these little moments of feeling you, always burning and aching for more. 
But through all of that, nothing has prepared him for the feeling of silk that encases your upper arm and the way it feels against your skin resting underneath it. He’s sure he’s gone to heaven, or whatever sort of heaven is possible for a man like him, and he knows then and there that he needs to feel the way your skin will slide against the silk of his own sheets.
You feel far too wonderful him in that moment, wrapped in the soft material the way that you are, and Matt relishes the way your sensitive skin is an equal match to his, knowing he’ll never have to wonder or worry about rough, scratchy fabric rubbing against him if you can help it. It’s exhilarating, this idea that you’ll always be soft and ready for him.
He’s going to have you, one day. You may not know it yet, but there will be a day when he has you spread out and waiting underneath him, and he’ll tell you that it was this moment that was the tipping point for him.
It's hard to focus as you walk him home, saying your goodbyes at his doorstep when a cab pulls up, and he knows his hand will feel empty and bereft until it has the chance to settle on you once more. It’s like he was always meant to hold you, always meant to touch you, and he’ll wait patiently for you to come to the same realization.
*
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2. Hearing
Matt has long since learned to drown out noises that aren’t necessary to the tasks at hand. His ears always pick up everything going on around him, relying on them more often than not for obvious reasons, but he’s mastered the art of tuning things out if they are not currently relevant to what he is working on. It’s a skill Stick had taught him, and it is perhaps the best thing that man had ever done for him, encouraging him to focus in the moment while forever remaining vigilant.
The same cannot be said for you.
He's not exactly sure when the others pick up on the way you need things to be softer, but he notices the first time you flinch as the front door slams shut by mistake. 
A potential client, rejected by their team due to several, incessant lies that pour from his mouth in the thirty minutes they meet with him, storms out of the office in annoyance. He mutters angrily to himself as he leaves, and yanks the door behind him, the sound of it echoing throughout the office. 
The sound was expected by Matt, having already anticipated the way it would reverberate throughout their space due to the heaviness and speed of the door headed towards the frame, but with his senses trained towards you, as they so often are, he doesn't miss the way you flinch and cover your ears.
Harsh and loud noises are triggering for you, it seems, and it’s something he can fully sympathize with, unfortunately. He finds it concerning, if not a little intriguing, this flash of vulnerability you display.
Your voice is gentle as it floats out around the office, rarely rising above a certain decibel, almost encouraging those around you to keep things quiet as well. It's impacted the way he, Foggy and Karen listen and speak to each other, making an effort not to shout things through offices, but rather get up and find the person they’re talking to. The transition happens almost over night, and he can sense the way your body relaxes the longer you are employed with them, trusting the team to use voices that aren’t louder than they really need to be.
Over the course of the months you spend settling into their team, you're frequently invited to happy hour at Josie's. It’s easy for him to pick up on the way you love joining the team, having told them you hadn’t felt like New York was home until you accepted their offer of employment, and it warms him. Your cheeks flush with the buzz of alcohol, your posture relaxes, and your speech becomes less poised, less polished. And every time you join them, without fail, you have soft, silicone plugs nestled in your ears while you're seated at the table.
Tonight you’re seated next to him, something that Matt had carefully orchestrated while you were placing a drink order at the bar, adjusting himself so that the only open seat would be next to him. He tries not to give himself away, but he can’t help but lean into you as far as he can without making it extremely obvious how much he wants to be pressed against you at all times.
He inhales sharply when you abruptly twist your body so that you’re angled towards him in a way that suggests he might not be alone in this need that runs viciously through him.
Matt does his best to focus in on the story you’re telling, your arms gesturing wildly as you regale the group with a funny anecdote about your younger brother. Your voice, despite the loudness of the bar, is still gentle in its cadence, and Matt has long since determined that no other voice will ever captivate him the way yours does.
When you’re done, you take a long sip of your drink, the liquid sliding down your throat, and Matt longs to wrap his hand around the column of your neck just to feel it, while maybe tilting your head back to kiss you in the process. 
Before Matt has the chance to ask you a follow-up question about your brother, curious to know more about the life you’ve led before moving to New York, Foggy jumps in with a question of his own, shouting over the noise of the bar.
"I've never asked before, but why do you wear ear plugs when we come here?"
You freeze next to him, and for a brief second Matt wants to shove his friend off of his bar stool. It’s a question he’s always had, though he thinks he already knows the answer, but he hates the way you’ve been put on the spot. He opens his mouth to tell you that you don’t need to answer, but you reply anyway, cutting him off.
"I, uh…I can get overwhelmed with loud noises," you explain quietly, fidgeting with the napkin still resting in your lap, placed there to wipe salt and grease off of your fingers as you munch on the french fries the group had ordered. "Sometimes it just gets to be too much. I can't focus on what's going on in front of me because everything else is just too loud. The ear plugs drown some things out."
Foggy tilts his head in curiosity, and Matt throws him a look of warning, wordlessly asking him to tread carefully, unwilling to let anything upset you. It had surprised him, initially, his reaction to the thought of you being uncomfortable, but now he knows and no longer questions the fact that he’d gladly rake his body over flaming coals if it meant you were always safe and happy and settled in whatever environment you found yourself in.
Foggy hasn’t caught on to his feelings just yet, but Karen has, and he can practically feel the amused side-eye she’s shooting him.
He rests a hand on your knee gently, intending to only leave it there for a second, but your hand suddenly reaches down and grabs it, easily interlacing your fingers with his. Matt tracks the way your cheeks flush, the way your heartbeat stutters for a split second, and is unable to stop the way his face splits open in a smile.
"Can you hear us okay, then? When you have them in?" Foggy questions, continuing on with the topic, completely oblivious to the body language of the people around him. 
You let out a quiet laugh. "You're sitting close enough that it's not really an issue. But I am decent at reading lips, so that usually helps, too."
“Gotcha,” Foggy says with an easy smile. “Let me know if there’s ever anything we can do to help make you more comfortable."
The conversation about your ear plugs ends there, Matt steering them gently towards another topic to help lead the focus off of something he can tell you're slightly self-conscious about, and he's rewarded by another squeeze of his hand. 
After that evening, the group still goes to Josie's fairly often, but they begin taking turns hosting happy hour at their own individual apartments. It becomes a frequent habit, ordering take out and staying in rather than going out, and Matt easily admits to himself that the quieter get-togethers are easier on his own ears, too. 
The lack of the sharp noises and drunken chatter of a bar also gives him the ability to focus on your heartbeat just that much easier, jumping whenever he gently brushes his fingers over yours when handing you another drink or carton of fried rice, and that alone makes the slight change worth it. 
Matt is committed at this point, intimately aware of what his presence does to you, and while he’d wait forever, he’s desperate to hear every single moan, gasp, or sigh he can draw out of you with his body pressed against yours.
"I never did thank you," you say quietly one evening, helping toss the beer bottles in his recycling bin. Foggy and Karen left ten minutes ago, claiming the need to prep a few more things before trial tomorrow, though Matt knows they had strategically left him alone with you on purpose.
Sometimes he thinks his friends are trying to get back at him for the years of chaos and tears he’s caused them.
"Thank me for what?" He asks, throwing some of the leftover Chinese into his fridge. He packs up a small bag of leftover white rice and vegetables for you to take, knowing without verbal confirmation that the slight blandness is something you'll enjoy and appreciate. He enjoys it, too, strong flavors sometimes too much for him, but he would rather you have it.
"You're the one who started encouraging us to spend time as a smaller group at someone's place, rather than going out," you say, voice floating through his apartment. He may not yet have told you about his own senses, but for some reason you've picked up on the way he can always hear you, no matter how soft or loud you are. "And I just really appreciate it. Going out isn't a big deal, but this is still a nice change sometimes."
Matt steps out of his kitchen to where you've picked up your purse from his table and stands directly in front of you, close enough to reach out and touch. He notices the way your breathing catches, as it always does when he stands near, and for whatever reason, tonight he feels emboldened to fully lean into it.
He reaches out to run a gentle finger down your cheekbone, and you sigh and seem to lean into it instinctively. It's all the encouragement he needs to continue. "I've found that I'd do just about anything to make sure you're comfortable," he says, enjoying the way your skin heats, and he takes another step forward, hand now fully cupping the side of your face. "Whatever you need from me to help that, I'll do it."
You pause for a moment, apparently weighing something in your mind, and he feels the moment you've made some sort of decision. He stands still when you take a tiny step towards him, the heat of you downright scalding, and he waits with bated breath for you to say something. 
"You don't need to do anything, Matt," you whisper quietly, taking his other hand in yours. "But thank you all the same. Truly."
Months of him needing you near more than he needs to breathe, months of him needing to put you first before all other things in his life, causes him to close the distance, unable and unwilling to spend one more second of not knowing what your mouth feels like underneath his.
Your lips are warm and soft as he presses against them, and he keeps the kiss gentle. Your hands reach up to wrap themselves in his shirt, and Matt knows he'll spend the rest of his life wanting to hear nothing else but that quiet sigh that leaves your mouth as it parts for his.
*
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3. Taste
Matt grew up in perhaps one of the most unique melting pots in the world. 
New York City is an explosive mixture of cultures and ethnicities and races, and he’s been exposed to all the wonderful things that come with the mixture of so many people living in his city - the different music, the different languages, the different dreams and ideals. 
But the one thing that never fails to disappoint and sadden him about it is the fact that all the different foods of the world, so easily within his grasp, can be extremely overwhelming to his sense of taste. It’s a sense of irony that he doesn’t appreciate.
Over the years, he’s learned to cook with minimal spices and flavors, almost desperate to avoid making his taste buds go haywire, but though everything he makes is nourishing and edible, it doesn’t necessarily make them…good. Matt has a relatively bland diet, sticking to foods and flavors that are subtle, and the repetition is boring. 
But then…you come along.
It’s like an explosion, the flavors you bring with you in your lunches and snacks every day. Matt’s mouth salivates over the meals you bring in, knowing without tasting them that nothing you make will overwhelm his taste buds. It’s never anything fancy, he admits. But you’ve tossed ingredients and spices together in a way that he would have never thought to mix, and it suddenly sets him on a renewed journey of finding new things he can’t wait to try.
Rich and savory spices and herbs spill out of your small backpack as you load them in the fridge every day, and the way the scents sometimes stick to your skin makes him want to take you home and never take his tongue off of you.
…which, he feels that way one hundred percent of the time anyway, the taste of your skin divine by itself, but these moments bring out his hunger for you even more. He's had his tongue on you now, had it in you, and he'd gladly spend the rest of his time here on Earth tasting nothing but the salt on every single inch of your body that you'll let him touch.
He's only made love to you once, but Matt can no longer imagine his life without your taste in his mouth.
It's a rainy Friday night in Hell's Kitchen when you manage to drag him to one of your favorite restaurants, though the word drag is used lightly. He's eager and selfish enough to take every spare second you'll give him, but even he can admit that some cases at work require late evenings. There's an everlasting desire to press his lips to yours, if only to draw out every sound he now knows you can make, so he follows you anyway, despite the heavy workload resting on the secondhand desk that's situated in his office. 
The streets of New York City are wet and miserable, but you pull him happily with you, and he has no control over the heart that has decided your hand is a better home and keeper than his own chest.
Before you even round the corner with him half a step behind, he knows instinctively what restaurant you’re taking him to without a word being spoken. It's a few blocks outside of Hell's Kitchen, so he's never really walked by this restaurant before, but now, just a few hundred feet from him, it calls to him, a delicious mixture of spices and herbs and sugars rolling across his tongue that are satisfying without being overwhelming.
He takes his time on your arm, enjoying the way you sway and swerve in between other pedestrians, simply because it gives him an excuse to hold onto you that much tighter. And by the time he holds the door open for you to step inside, Matt's mouth is almost drooling in want and hunger.
It's not long before food is being placed in front of you both, and he wastes not a single second before diving in. He knew before he even entered the restaurant that he was about to eat one of the most fantastic meals of his life, outside of the classic bacon and eggs and pancakes his father used to make him every Saturday morning while he watched cartoons. 
The same explosion of flavors that he had smelled from outside is there, foods that are bold but still somehow subtle, and he swears he's never tasted a combination of ingredients and sauces and spices that fit so well with his palette. 
Add in the fact that the restaurant uses natural products to clean their dishes and wash their vegetables, rather than burning chemicals that scald both his nose and tongue, and it makes him feel like he never wants to eat anywhere else again.
He also never wants to eat or discover new things with anyone else but you again, but that's a conversation for another time. 
"This is one of my favorite places to come to," you say lightly with a soft smile on your lips, and Matt hmms in agreement, because it has suddenly managed to become one of his favorites, too. "I found it a few months back. It’s relatively new, I think. It just has so many options to choose from that fit with the sorts of things I like."
Matt lifts his fork to his mouth, eyes briefly shutting in contentment, a swirl of rich, savory flavors that settle enticingly on his tongue. He savors it before he swallows.
He can track down every ingredient used for this specific dish. The vegetables are the same ones Monica Smith sells in her small market on 42nd, the chicken from the butcher on 57th. Most of these ingredients are sold fresh and locally, sources that Matt often trusts with his own meals that he cooks himself, and there's nothing more comforting than tasting Hell’s Kitchen, than tasting home on his tongue.
"Do you come here often, then?" He asks once he places his fork down and takes a sip of his drink. 
Your mouth twists into a smirk. "You've already got me, Matthew. No need to use a pick up line.”
A startled laugh escapes his throat, and the sound echoes throughout the quiet restaurant. "That's not how I meant it."
"Felt like you were putting the moves on me like we were some sort of dive bar," you tease. You blow on the spoonful of soup you're about to wrap your mouth around to eat, and Matt can't help but think of the way your mouth had been wrapped around him not too long ago.
"No need to put the moves on you when I've apparently already got you, sweetheart," he fires back with a grin. "Though I'd be very interested in discussing that particular fact later. In detail."
A quiet laugh trickles over to him. "That can probably be arranged."
"Good," is all he says. He takes another bite, and you mirror him, finally placing the spoon in your mouth. Matt lets out a quiet moan, both at the taste of the food in his mouth and the taste that's now resting on your tongue, eager to pull you to him and share it with you by way of placing his mouth greedily on yours.
"But to answer your question, I do," you tell him once you swallow, and Matt simultaneously attempts to push the arousal away temporarily (he fails), and smiles at the way your voice sounds wistful and happy. He hopes the sound can be contributed to his company just as much as the food in front of you. "It's hard for me to find places that I like."
He tilts his head to the side. "Any specific reason why?"
You shrug, and Matt's attention lazily drifts to the sound the silk makes as it slides over your shoulders. He's had you in his bed now, and the sound of silk and your skin gliding against each other will forever be etched into his memory. 
"Too many places just use ingredients that don't…taste right to me," you answer easily. "Too much salt. Too much grease. Too much everything, really. This place is more gentle, more thoughtful with how they prepare things, I think. Things just feel more natural here."
Matt has to bite back a smile because you just…get it.
He hasn't said a word to you about his senses, not yet at least, but somehow everything about you just fits with him, like you're two pieces of a puzzle, meant to connect and stay connected, revealing an image that only the two of you can see and feel.
"I understand what you mean by that," he says softly, reaching out to grasp your hand in his before he pulls away to grab his beer. "Have you always been that way? Sensitive to different foods? I've noticed the types of things you bring in for lunch; seems to be a common thread."
He feels the way your hand halts on its way to your mouth, and the pause sets him briefly on edge, the sound of your heartbeat stuttering for just a quick second. Opening his mouth, Matt means to ask what's wrong, but you answer before he can do so.
"Yeah, I've always been like this. I, uh…I'm on the spectrum," you tell him before shoving the bite of your salad in your mouth. Matt's mouth drops a fraction of an inch, honestly having not suspected the response. But it makes him pause, because all of a sudden it clicks that he has observed traits that seem to be consistent with what he knows about the diagnosis. 
Sensitivity to sound. Sensitivity to certain fabrics. Sensitivity to taste. He hadn't caught on before, but now it just…makes sense.
You continue. "I'm a fairly mild case, honestly, but certain tastes and textures of food are just overwhelming sometimes, or they don't feel right in my mouth. It's hard to explain."
His focus quickly shifts to the way you adjust in your seat, as if nervous about his reaction, and he finds himself intensely disliking the thought of you regretting your admission in any way.
"You could try to explain, if you're comfortable with it," he suggests softly, reaching out to gently grasp and squeeze your hand again before he pulls back, needing you to know that anything you divulge is safe with him. He hopes that when he's ready to divulge a secret of his own, you'll sit and really hear him, the way he's always needed someone to hear him, the way he's always needed someone to hear him and still love him.
"Whatever you have to say, I want to listen."
Taking a deep breath, you place your fork on your plate, though Matt doesn't necessarily take it as a sign that you're uncomfortable with the topic, to which he is grateful, but rather something that indicates you're planning in your head what you want to say.
When you finally answer, Matt is utterly powerless to do nothing but give you every single cell of attention that resides in his body.
"I'm not necessarily shy about it, I'm actually pretty open about it, but I guess there's not much to say," you begin, sounding less hesitant than you had sounded just seconds before. "It's pretty common for people on the spectrum to be picky eaters, and that's always been the case for me. But even if it's common, it doesn't mean it's necessarily well understood why, and no two people and their reactions are the same. For some reason, it tends to be more prevalent in women, which makes it even more difficult to track or explain because there isn't a ton of research on women who are autistic. Most studies focus on men."
He hmms in the back of his throat, tilting his head to the side in consideration. "I guess I hadn't really thought about that."
"Most people don't," you say after another bite, and he frowns lightly at the tone of nonchalance in your voice, because even though you sound unaffected, he can hear the quiet waver that suggests that there's a part that ever so slightly bothers you at people's general lack of acknowledgment of the matter. He vows to learn every single thing you're able to teach him, vows to read every single book, published article, or internet post he can find. "Long story short, my sense of taste tends to be limited in terms of what I can tolerate, you know?"
Matts quiet for a moment before he responds. "Oddly enough, I can understand that," he says with a small smile, raising his glass to take another sip of his drink. 
"I figured you would," you reply with a light shrug, the movement stirring the air around you, making the scent of you carry over to him enticingly. He opens his mouth ever so slightly to catch the taste on his tongue. "You tend to order pretty simple things when we all go out. You stick to the same foods and drinks for the most part."
A smirk replaces the grin on his face. "You've been paying attention to me? What am I supposed to do with that information, I wonder?"
He can feel the way your face flushes, and he imagines the color that is blooming rapidly across your cheeks. He vaguely remembers the color red, and he wonders if your skin is vibrant and bold right now, or if the hue is soft and sweet.
"Am I wrong, though?" You ask, neatly avoiding his own questions. "You prefer things that are subtle, things that taste smooth, as opposed to things that taste sharp or in your face, I guess? Do you know what I mean by that?"
"I do. Things that are easy rather than bold," he says with a quick nod. "I can't do bitter or spicy or sour."
Your face splits into a grin. "Exactly. Certain flavors are nice, but they can't be overwhelming or I just kinda…start to shut down. I don't tend to like new things. I'm perfectly happy sticking to the things I know I like."
Matt leans back in his seat as he places his napkin on the table in front of him. He waits until you swallow before speaking again, diving in for the kill, knowing exactly what sort of reaction he's hoping to get from you.
"I'm typically the same way," he says with a smirk. "Though, based on the other night, I'd have to say that my new favorite taste is you."
Your skin flares to life again as you take in a sharp breath, and the smile on his mouth is wide with borderline glee and satisfaction when you give him just the response he had been looking for.
He practically pats himself on the back for a job well done, but is unprepared for your response.
"Well," you say slowly, voice quiet and wavering for just a split second before it strengthens, "if that's the way you feel, then maybe we could go back to your place and you can have me for dessert."
It's Matt's turn to be momentarily speechless, and while blood had rushed to your cheeks at his comment, his own blood heads straight to his cock at yours, and at the thought of having his mouth on you again makes him go absolutely feral.
When he regains his ability to speak, he flags down the waiter he can hear at the table next to him, and asks for the check with a speed he's never managed to achieve, despite his years of snapping at the heels of every violent and manipulative criminal in Hell's Kitchen.
Your soft laugh continues to echo in his ear as he practically drags you to his apartment. 
*
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4. Scent 
You miss two or three days of work a month due to what you’ve described as chronic migraines, and the whole office cringes in sympathy whenever you call out. Matt is no stranger to headaches, having had his head bashed in too many times to count, and he knows he’s caused several headaches of his own for Foggy and Karen, the direct result of them being friends with a man who is always finding himself in some sort of trouble.
But migraines, he’s heard, are a whole different ball game, and it saddens him to think of you in so much pain.
When you first started working for their firm, the team used to come to your home and bring you case files and notes at your request, as you were always eager to prove that you were a valuable member of their team, despite the illness that randomly knocked you on your ass for sometimes 24 to 48 hours. They all trust you to complete your work, usually staying late and working weekends to make up for lost time, and for months he humored you, if for no other reason than to have an excuse to show up on your doorstep and check up on you.
Now, though…it’s different.
He ignores your request to bring the files over, and is instead armed with decaffeinated coffee, green tea, peppermint tea, anything and everything he’s researched that is recommended to help ease you out of a migraine and prevent future ones. He’s not sure how much of it all works, but he’s willing and desperate to lessen your pain, even if only for a few minutes.
You’d gifted him with a key just a few weeks ago, shortly after he had told you he loved you for the first time. Unlike most things in his life, being with you is effortless and calm. The transition from friendship to this was seamless, the pair of you somehow knowing this was something meant to last, so he lets himself quietly into your apartment without a second thought. 
The air conditioning is cranked up and blasting as it always is when a migraine sets in, something about heat being a trigger for you, and he doesn’t need to see to know that all the blinds are shut, cutting out all of the natural light and the warmth that would have hit his skin through the windows.
You’re in your bedroom, your heartbeat too rapid for his liking, so he sets the items he’s brought over onto your counter, removes his shoes and suit jacket, and makes his way towards you. You don’t say anything when he settles in behind you, just grabs his arm and pulls it around you, and within a few moments, you’re dead asleep. It’s as if you had been waiting on him before you could fully relax, trusting him to watch over you in your moments of vulnerability.
It’s hours later, well into the evening, when you finally stir again, your body stretching before sinking further into his. Matt had drifted off to sleep beside you for a bit, but had already been awake for an hour before your eyes fluttered open, grateful that your heart rate had decreased and your breathing settled into something more peaceful. The way your body physically reacts to any sort of stress, whether it be sickness or an impending deadline, never fails to put him on edge, ready to leap into the fray of whatever has the potential to cause you harm.
“You’re still here?” Your voice is groggy with sleep, though it’s not as tight with pain as it normally is when you’re in the throes of a migraine, so Matt finds himself relieved that the worst of it may have passed.
“I didn’t want to leave,” he whispers in your ear, tightening the arm resting around your waist. “I don’t have to go out for another few hours or so.”
“What time is it?”
“Just after 7,” he said, placing a kiss to the top of your head from where it’s almost tucked under his chin. “I got here around 3, after the meeting with that new client.”
“And you stayed the whole time?” The words are quiet, but they still sound slightly incredulous. “Matt…you had so much to do today.”
“Nothing more important than making sure you’re okay,” Matt responds easily, slotting his legs up behind yours, pressing the entire length of his body against you. You’d called early this morning while he had been on his way to work, claiming that an awful migraine had started up last night, and he had rushed through his day as quickly as possible. “Are you feeling better?”
You make a non-committal noise. “Maybe a little. I think my meds kicked in this afternoon.”
Matt hums quietly in your ear. “Have you considered a new brand? They don’t seem to be helping much. You still get them pretty frequently.”
Shifting in his hold, you suddenly turn to face him, and Matt adjusts by rolling slightly on to his back, allowing you to curl up against his side and lay your head on his chest. Matt uses the opportunity to brush a kiss against your forehead, the heat of your skin against his always welcome. He had long since removed his pants and shirt, having taken them off before he decided to nap with you, and the way you snuggle closer reminds him that you like being skin to skin just as much as he does.
“They help as much as they can,” you say with a subtle shrug. “It’s hard when something triggers it.”
Matt stills the hand that had naturally risen up to brush lightly against your back. “What triggered it?”
“The lady that came in yesterday afternoon.”
He furrows his brow, searching back through his memory. “Mrs. Henderson?” He feels you nod against his chest, still shuddering and inching impossibly closer. “What about her?”
“It was her perfume.”
“Her perfume triggered the migraine?” You nod again, and Matt frowns mildly as he starts piecing some things together. 
It clicks. “Are you migraines…scent triggered?”
You sigh against him, throwing a leg over his, further settling yourself against him, and Matt tightens his arm. Your eyes flutter shut as you speak. “Yeah, usually. Being around strong scented things can be awful.” 
Matt’s not sure why he hadn’t recognized it before, now that he thinks back on it. The way your apartment always smells clean, but not in a way that smells like a solution of pure chemicals. It always smells more natural, made up of subtle scents that are warm rather than piercing. Your detergent is in similar fashion, and the shampoo you use on your hair is soft and almost indistinct to anyone who doesn't have a nose like his. No candles. No air fresheners. It’s a wonder that he hasn’t noticed it, given the fact that he has always used similar products at his own place that are equally kind to his nose.
“How come I didn’t know this?” Matt questions curiously. He should have known, uniquely prepared and understanding of yet another sensory factor that he has in common with you. But unlike your own unique sensitivity, Matt has found a way to block out most scents, especially the more unpleasant ones that come with living in New York City. 
“Didn’t seem important.”
“Didn’t seem–? It’s super important, if it means there’s something that causes you this much pain,” he argues quietly, resuming the movement of his hand running up and down your back. You arch into the touch. “I might not be able to help all of the time, but I might be able to help with this.”
Matt knows you know exactly what he’s talking about, having told you his biggest secret not long into the relationship. You take a sudden deep breath.
“I guess I didn’t think of it that way,” you admit quietly. “It didn’t really occur to me, that this might be something you could maybe…help with.”
“We’ll figure it out, sweetheart,” he whispers into your ear, shifting his head to kiss your cheek. “Whatever I can do to help, just like I said before.”
You nod sleepily into his chest, the conversation having apparently worn you out already, and Matt huffs a laugh when your eyes close again and don't reopen.
It doesn’t take long to develop a routine from there on out. Matt’s able to pick up on a scent headed up the elevator that he knows will bother you, long before the client even enters the office of Nelson, Murdock & Page, and he takes great care in either encouraging you to work from home the rest of the day, or hoarding you in his own office, the quiet and unassuming scent of your shampoo and detergent an everlasting sense of peace to his own sensitive nose.
It’s only been a few months, but he has every intention of permanently blending your scent with his.
*
5.  Sight
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You prefer muted lights over fluorescent ones.
It doesn’t take long for Matt to notice that the lights in your apartment are warm and relaxing, a strong contrast to the lights he can hear in other various settings. It’s no surprise to him, not really, when he pairs this detail with all the other sensitivities you have. And while the low lights are a benefit to your eyes, Matt considers them a benefit to his hearing.
He’s never mentioned it, but even though he can’t see the harsh lights of a courtroom or police station, he can hear them, and the buzzing noise isn’t always pleasant. He can block most things out, but the constant thrumming does wear on his nerves sometimes, a sharp sound that blazes across his skin before settling in his ears.
He appreciates coming home to you, for more reasons than he could ever possibly count, knowing that the only lights you’ve brought with you when you moved in are soft and warm and blessedly quiet.
Matt knows your eyes are sensitive, that you wear sunglasses whenever you’re outside, regardless of sun or rain or snow, and the lenses that perch on your nose have a special blue-light filter to help take away the strain of staring at a computer screen for too long. He split the cost of having custom sized curtains throughout the apartment to drown out some of the light, and he’s heard you explain to Foggy and Karen the reason the backlight on your phone is so muted.
This isn't something he can necessarily relate to, the one sense of five he is lacking and will never regain. He remembers what it was like to see, colors and faces and neighborhoods rich and vibrant, but light had never caused him actual pain.
He will forever live his life in the dark, even while you remain the bright and pulsing star he will never stop orbiting around.
Over the course of the past year and a half, Matt has spent time tracking the similarities he has with you. All the sensitivities that match up, and it's brought so much comfort to his life that he doesn't know how to articulate it. You've begun building a life together that is soft and soothing for you both. 
He's not surprised that the topic of his own sight has taken so long to be brought up. Calm and simple conversations have sprouted up here and there, and he's always known that you'd haven't avoided the topic, but rather simply made it clear that while losing his sight has continued to be a large part of his story, it is not necessarily the one that is most important to you.
You have always understood that he is more than his blindness, even before his big reveal. And when the topic finally surfaces, it carries both more and less weight than it has anytime before. 
"Matt," you begin quietly, settled in his arms after he absolutely wrecked your world with his fingers, his tongue, and his cock. He's wrapped himself around you from behind, one of his favorite ways to ensure that you're here with him, that you're safe, that you're his. "Can I ask a question?"
He makes a sound in the back of his throat quietly, indicating that yes, you can ask him anything. He has stripped down every barrier that keeps you from him, both his walls and yours, and there is nothing he'll deny you. 
You must pick up the unspoken words he's given you in a language only the two of you understand, so you proceed. "If this sounds insensitive, please tell me. I don't want to upset you, I'm just curious."
Beyond interested now, Matt rolls you in his arms until you're facing him. Your breath gently rolls over him as he pushes a lock of hair behind your ear. "What is it, sweetheart?"
Taking a deep breath, your mouth parts in response. "Do you…ever wish you could still see?"
The question makes him pause in a way he hasn't quite stilled before. He's been asked the same question hundreds of times over the decades of his life since the accident, and the answer has always been the same. In an effort to tell people he's happy with where his life is at, in an effort to make people not pity him by him thinking a part of his life is missing, he has always responded with a quick, no, I'm fine. I've gotten used to it.
And while he is fine, the reasoning goes far beneath what he hands out for others to know. Matt may struggle with believing he is worthy of being loved and adored, but one thing he is sure of is that he doesn't owe anyone his story, and that very few deserve to hear it. 
He told Karen once that he wished he could see the sky one more time in a rare moment of opening up, though he admits that he had mostly done so to earn her trust in a display of offering a vulnerability. He had hoped it would inspire an admission of her own, something to help guide him towards the next clue to the puzzle in her case, but he had been unsuccessful.
But that was neither here nor there.
The question falling from the lips he'd gladly spend every second pressed against is quiet, less probing than others who have asked, and he knows this is yet one more thing he's unable to keep from you. 
Actually, the word is no longer unable, but rather unwilling, because there's not a single piece of himself that he wants to keep hidden from you. You own him, body, heart, and soul, and months ago that acceptance of ownership came with the realization that he has no desire to be anything but open and free beneath your fingertips.
A soft hand runs up his torso and settles over his heart, a quiet yet intentional moment of comfort, and you speak before he gets a chance to reply. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
He shakes his head. "No, it's not that. I'm just thinking."
"Take your time, love," is all you say, and the term of endearment never fails to knock him off his feet. You are his love, but he is also yours.
With a subtle clearing of his throat, he opens his mouth to answer, not an ounce of hesitation, though the words at first seem disjointed because he's not quite sure how to say what he wants to say. 
"I…yes and no," he starts softly in your ear. "There...are certain things I wish I could see at least once, or at least one more time, but for the most part, no. I don't necessarily wish that."
Sheets rustle as you push a thigh between his to press even closer. "Is it because you just have accepted it? That there's nothing you can do about it, so no use thinking about it?"
"In some ways, sure," he tells you, pointer finger drawing lazy circles on your hip. "But I was angry about it for a long time. Angry that my vision was taken from me because I tried to help someone. I felt like I had been punished by a god who only ever saw the devil in me, rather than the good I had tried to do, even as a kid. But that anger shifted the older I got, and rather than blame God, I blamed the rest of the world for all the injustices, feeling like I was doomed to do nothing but hear them. And it made me furious that everyone else had the ability to actually see these horrible things happening, and yet they did nothing."
"So…you let the devil out," you murmur against his chest, already familiar with this part of the story, having heard the explanation of what had made him snap, the final straw that broke the camel's back. 
"Yes," he whispers back, knowing you held no blame or disgust associated with the sentence you had just let out. "I let the devil out."
Once upon a time he had begged Foggy to understand why he had chosen this particular path, asking him to forgive him for doing what he had thought necessary to save that little girl. He had repeated the process with Karen some time after that, but the results had been even worse the second time, the lie in their friendship and failed relationship a chasm between the two of them.
But with you…there had been no begging involved. No praying at your feet that you would understand it, understand him. The shock had been there, true, when he finally revealed himself all those months ago, laying all his cards on the table, yours to do with what you wished.
A silence had echoed between you, one that had felt like years but had only actually lasted a split second, before you picked up all the cards he had given you, tucked them in your chest for safe keeping, and responded with endless amounts of love and affection. You'd taken his hand just as easily as you'd taken his heart, told him you trusted him to do what he thought was right, and that there was not a single piece of him that you did not want and adore.
"And now? How do you feel about it now? About not being able to see?"
"I talked about this once with Maggie," he replies, recalling the conversation he'd had with her years ago underneath the church. "This idea of looking back on the past and trying to figure out if the life we led was on the right path or not. I told her about all the anger I had felt, all the hurt and betrayal. It took me a long time to realize that maybe God thought sight was unnecessary to do what needed to be done, and that I needed to go through the things I did in order to become Daredevil."
"And has that helped you? Thinking about it that way?"
"Yes," he says without hesitation, without pause. "If getting back my sight meant losing everything else, losing all the things that have helped me to help others, then it wouldn't be worth it."
"That makes sense," you whisper quietly against his chest. Your hair rubs against his skin, and Matt sighs at the contact. "You're Daredevil. Daredevil is Matt Murdock. There's no separating the two, because you're both. You wouldn't be your full self if you couldn't do what you can do."
He pulls you tighter against him. "Yes, I....that's exactly it," he says with a rush of breath that slides over your hair and skin. "I couldn't…be me without it. So, no. I don't wish I could see, not if it meant giving this up."
"And you don't feel the need to see." 
Matt can't help but love the way it's a statement, and not a question. 
"I don't," he says simply. "I've lived the vast majority of my life without sight, and I can live the rest without it, too. I have Foggy. I have Karen. I have our practice. And I have you. My life is complete the way it is."
Fingers trail up his chest, up his neck, and settle on his cheek. Matt instinctively leans his head into the touch, relishing the way you always manage to provide love and affection without saying a word. 
He's not necessarily sensitive to the topic anymore, and certainly never could be with you, this wonderful person in his life who has filled him with warmth, a steady flame licking at his heart and spreading outwards, always finding every crack and crevice to stitch together and make whole. 
He'll never be able to fully articulate the way he's never felt like home with anyone else but you, never be able to fully articulate the way you've righted the axis of his life that has not felt safe or secure since his father died.
All he can do is try. 
Try to explain just how you've pulled him in like a moth to the flame, but never once tried to burn him.
"My eyes haven't worked since I was 9, but you manage to help me see, sweetheart. In a way no one else has been able to before, " he says, and the words cause your breathing to hitch. He continues without much pause. "You describe things to me without me asking. I can hear and feel everything so much, but there's always going to be things I can't pick up on, and you've filled that void for me."
Your hand twitches, curling into itself on his chest, and he doesn't waste a single second reaching up to flatten it against his heart again. "Matt." Your voice is thick with an emotion mimicking both surprise and reverence, and your heartbeat has sped up considerably. 
Bending his neck lightly, he brushes his lips across your forehead. "You just naturally tell me about things going on around me, as if you had been doing it your whole life. I thought it was cute before you knew what I was capable of picking up on, but you haven't stopped. You still describe colors and facial expressions and funny signs you see when we're outside. You still tell me all about these things you notice, as if you want to make sure I don't miss a single thing, and I love you for it."
Seemingly stunned into silence, you lay cradled up against him, heart racing and skin flushed and warm. Winding his hand in your hair, Matt pulls your head back, and waits until he knows for sure your eyes have rested on his face. His smile is soft, as is the skin of your cheek when he moves his hand to stroke a thumb down your cheek, picking up a stray tear that rolled down. 
He tilts his head down to kiss you, but before he can move an inch, you're pulling his mouth down towards yours with a hand of your own wrapped around the back of his neck.
He pulls away after a brief moment before he gently rolls you onto your back, parting your thighs so that he can lay between them, anxious to be pressed against you, pressed in you, in every way he can. You moan as his weight settles on top of you, though it changes to a quiet gasp when his cock slides inside, your cunt still wet from where he had finished inside you not an hour before. 
He's pretty sure you're nothing but wet when you're around him, something that never fails to arouse a sharp sense of satisfaction that he makes your body react that way. It makes it easy to take you whenever he wants, your body ready for his with his name and a murmured yes on your lips. 
Matt captures your mouth again with a soft kiss, and when he pulls away, even as his hips rock languidly against yours, he can't help but whisper the words that have unconsciously circled in his head for months now.
"Out of everything out there, out of everything you've told me or described to me, if I could see only one thing in the world, it would be your face when you say I do."
And with that, he laces his fingers with yours as he presses your hand into the mattress next to your head, lightly tracing over the engagement ring he had slid on to your ring finger not too long ago.
It seems that every one of your sensory sensitivities matches his in some way or another, and he can’t help but be thrilled, be calmed by it. The idea of spending the rest of his life side by side with someone he not only loves and adores and cherishes more than his own life, but someone who appreciates and understands the way that the world is just too much sometimes, someone who has helped him find peace in a way he had never thought possible, has forever changed this path that his life has always been on.
Your mouth parts in a sigh underneath his, and he spends the rest of the night using all four senses to drive you both to the edge over and over again, aware that he'll never need his sight to see how perfectly, how flawlessly you were made for him.
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3K notes · View notes
ellephlox · 9 months
Text
Muted Dawn
Pairing: Matt x fem!reader
Summary: You get mugged in the middle of the night, but Matt isn't there to save you.
Warnings: mugging, canon-typical violence, swearing, injuries, physical/verbal assault
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In mid-summer, the midnight air of New York had a surreal balminess to it. You wore a tank top and a thin red jacket on top, your suitcase rolling loudly behind you as you hurried down the sidewalk. Every crack, every pebble, every sewer grate — they were all thunderclaps compared to the otherwise quiet evening. The luggage was too heavy to carry, though, so it would have to roll behind you.
It was a long day. You'd flown out to visit family, and your return flight was supposed to be midday. It had been cancelled, though, leaving you to scramble for a layover that could get you to New York by morning. It was a complete shit show, and you'd had to sprint to your gates at the airport with this stupid shitty suitcase that you were half-tempted to just dump in the garbage.
Matt still thought you'd arrived in the evening. He texted you earlier that he had a case to work on with Foggy, and that he'd be up in the office plowing through work, probably until early morning.
You didn't have the heart to tell him that you'd actually touched down in New York at eleven p.m. because that would be a surefire way to pull Matt out of work to meet you at the airport. Dragging him from his responsibilities — which were already too numerous — was the last thing you wanted.
So, solo travel in the middle of the night was your only option. You took the airport train to the nearest station, and from there took a train, and from there took another train that deposited you at 50th Street. Matt's apartment was only a ten minute walk, tops, from the station. Just a short walk. Too short to justify calling an Uber, mostly because you didn't exactly have a lot of money left in your wallet and your next paycheck wasn't for another few days.
Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump—
"Shit," you said aloud, staring between your luggage wheels and the sidewalk, which had switched from mildly smooth to practically cobbled. That didn't bode well for your plan to walk quietly back to the apartment. You snapped the handle down and tried to carry the suitcase again, but managed only to go a few steps before your arm felt as though it were going to break off. "Come on."
"Need some help?" The voice that came from the shadows was most definitely not Matt's, and goosebumps ran down your arms immediately. You didn't bother answering; it was always best to ignore anyone who tried talking to you on the streets of Hell's Kitchen. To regain some speed you pulled your handle back out — no sense in trying to be quiet now — and continued on your way, the thumps more rapid this time as you picked up the pace.
Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump—
"I asked you a question, darling." To your horror, mingled with the sound of your suitcase wheels smashing along the sidewalk were now footsteps, and a figure appeared in the corner of your eye.
"You gonna answer? Not very nice of you." He jogged in front of you, blocking your way effectively, and now you could properly see him. He was pale — practically pasty in the moonlight — and wore a sweatshirt so stained it might as well have been a used napkin at a greasy fast food joint. He had a beard, untamed and straggly, and despite the wild look to him that suggested he was hungry, he was big. Most definitely someone you didn't want to try taking on in a fight.
"Get the hell out of my way," you snapped at him.
"I want to see what's in that suitcase. It's making a hell of a racket."
"Sorry to disappoint." You tried to weave your way around him, but he stepped in front of you again.
Damn it. You suddenly regretted not texting Matt about your late arrival. If you had, you wouldn't be alone on the street right now — Matt would have been beside you — and this wouldn't be happening. Fear, potent and throbbing, swirled in your stomach like a dense fog. You felt like a wild animal, ensnared in a trap with nowhere to go. You glanced behind you; the street was just as empty and silent, with the few streetlights flickering menacingly as though about to burn out.
"Look, bitch, you want to do this the easy or the hard way?"
"I said, let me get by. I don't want any trouble."
"Trouble?" he said, then laughed, scanning you from head to toe. "You look like little Red Riding Hood. What're you going to do?"
"I can scream. People will come and you'll be in deep shit."
"You're a fucking idiot if you think that. These back streets of Hell's Kitchen are the furthest you can get from help, darling."
"Unless the devil hears me," you breathed out, depending on the hope that this man had heard of Matt's other persona. "Then I have a good feeling your legs will get broken. You heard of him?"
Except the devil wasn't out tonight. He was instead filing paperwork, far away on the other end of the Kitchen, and probably wearing a suit. Unless the man in front of you fell for the bluff... you were thoroughly screwed.
But the man pulled out a gun, which you had not been expecting. "Devil ain't out here. No one's seen him in a few days. Hard way it is, then. You scream, darling, and I'll shoot you between the eyes."
You froze. Never had you felt so helpless in your life. Your heart was banging against your chest like a frantic bird, trying to escape, and yet your limbs wouldn't move, for fear of that black weapon pointing directly at your head. "Please," you said finally, the word coming out in a rasp. "I just want to go home."
"And you can, once you gimme what I want." The man pointed the gun at the suitcase. "Open it up."
You trembled slightly. Should you try fighting him? Sure, Matt had taught you some basic self-defense, but this man had a gun. What could you do against that? Maybe you could try grabbing the gun, or kicking it from his hands, but... that was ridiculous. You had hardly any training. Most likely you'd end up falling on your ass, and then the guy would put a bullet in you.
No, your best chance was to comply. Slowly you bent down and fumbled with the clasp of the suitcase, your hands shaking so hard that it wouldn't open up.
"I said open it!" the man demanded, jabbing the gun against your temple. It was cold and hard, and against your volition you yelped, squeezing your eyes shut. When the bullet didn't come, you slowly opened your eyes, and resumed your struggle with the clasp, finally popping it open. Shame grazed your face as you opened the luggage to unfolded laundry and toiletries haphazardly thrown in; not that this man cared, but somehow you felt as though your last shred of dignity was chewed up and spat on.
Maybe Matt would finish his paperwork early and put on the suit. Maybe he could hear you, right now, and he was on his way, leaping across rooftops. But no one was coming, and you stepped back, allowing the man to root through your belongings. He stooped over the suitcase, his gun now dangling at your side. You eyed him. Though you weren't exactly fast, especially compared to Matt, maybe you could make a break for it, and at least get away. Your suitcase was a lost cause at this point, but frankly, you didn't care.
Do it. Now. While he's distracted. Before you could lose your nerve, you took off, terror burning in your veins and making you pump your arms as hard as you could. You were only a few blocks from home, not far at all —
But footsteps rang behind you, heavy and faster than you. You chanced a look over your shoulder, and hardly had time to react before the man behind you overtook you entirely, tackling you to the sidewalk. Pavement slashed and gnawed against your skin, burning white hot — your cheek, your knees, the palms of your hands.
"Never run away from me like that before I'm done," the man said, in an almost childish way, as though a toy had been taken from him. He grabbed you by your arm and pulled you roughly to your feet. "I'm not finished with you yet."
By this point, tears were flowing down your cheeks, and all sense of shame was gone. Nothing mattered now except surviving, leaving this man and getting into the safety of home. Desperately you thought of the couch, and the shower, and bed, places that had seemed so close just ten minutes ago and now felt impossibly far away. "Please," you begged him. "Please. Take whatever you want, I just want to leave. Please."
He wrenched your arm in response, twisting it back much farther than it wanted to go. You shrieked, thinking that your arm must be broken, but then he let go and slapped your face, right across the cheek that still burned from the fall.
"Quiet!" he said roughly. "Let me finish." He kept his grip on your arm as he bent down to return to the suitcase, and you were yanked off your feet, falling to the ground like some absurd doll in the hands of an aggressive six-year-old. You didn't watch closely what the man took, because your vision was too blurred, but a dazed glance downwards told you that your laptop, earbuds, and jewelry were gone.
"Where's your wallet?" he asked, turning back to you. You didn't question him at all and reached into your pocket, your fingertips searching obediently for the wallet. Where are you, Matt? The man wasn't patient, though, and plunged his hand into your pocket to take over. You stayed stock still, the feeling of his hand against your thigh more disturbing than you could have predicted, as he extracted the wallet, then your phone, and pushed you away.
"Now here's what's going to happen," he said, pulling the gun out again. "I'm gonna let you live, because bodies are hard to take care of. But if you try squealing, if you go running off to a cop — if you tell anyone at all, I swear I'm going to find you and kill you." He took out your license and read it aloud — your name, your height, your weight, your address. "See, darling, I know everything about you. And if I get a whiff that you've tried telling someone about this little exchange we had tonight, I'll come to your address, and I'll slit your throat. Got it, darling?"
You nodded violently.
"Now get out of here," he said, and shoved you one last time. You didn't hesitate, and ran.
He could have taken more. Your clothing, your bracelet from Matt that you wore, your body, your life. All those you still had. The things he'd taken were meaningless, just trinkets. Things you could buy again.
But this reasoning didn't comfort you at all, and the moment you were in the safety of the apartment, with the door locked, you broke down altogether. You could hardly breathe, and every two seconds you ran to the window to check the street, certain that you'd see that stained sweatshirt ambling along the sidewalk, or hear a sudden knock at the door. Your phone was gone, so there was no way to call 911 if you needed to. And Matt wouldn't be able to reach you, either. You wished, like never before, that you could have his hearing. The ability to know when Matt was on his way back, and to hear him coming down the sidewalk, would be infinitely comforting; even more so would be the assurance that you'd hear that man who mugged you if he decided to come to the apartment.
But all you could hear was the whir of the refrigerator and your own shallow breaths.
It was therefore a heart-wrenching shock when you heard the deadbolt unlock, maybe an hour later. Maybe two hours later, or three. You weren't sure; time was a vortex, or even a black hole, with an event horizon so monstrous that everything was sucked into it.
Matt's home. As if you were dropped into an icy bath, you suddenly leapt to your feet. You hadn't showered. Your clothing was torn at the knees, and that man's scent was probably all over you, not to mention blood was smeared across your face and hands from the scrapes. Not good. Not good at all.
You ran into the bathroom just as the front door sprung open, and you only caught the smallest glimpse of the storm cloud of emotion already on Matt's face before you slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it.
Why, exactly, you were hiding from him, when there was no doubt he could smell the man and blood either way, wasn't clear to you. Maybe it was the shame of him seeing you like this. He was so capable, so responsible, and to sense you on the floor like a puddle... it made you feel even worse than you already felt. Yes, you'd wanted Matt to save you, but it was too late now, wasn't it? Now you were just going to be another thing he had to take care of.
So, a shower it was.
Matt's fist pounded on the door. "Y/N? What happened?"
"I'm showering."
"It's two in the morning. I can smell your blood and your heart is flying. What happened?"
This time, it wasn't Matt asking, but the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. You could hear it in the low growl of his voice, the restlessness that simultaneously wanted to defend you as well as throw a punch at something.
"I'm okay, Matt. I'm okay. I just need a minute to clean up," you told him, starting the water. "Please."
"Y/N, if you don't unlock this door, I'm going to knock it off its hinges."
The thought made new tears spring to your eyes all over again. Your money — all gone. You'd have to cancel your credit cards now. And while you'd spent most of your money while visiting family, you'd had at least two twenties in your wallet — forty dollars, now gone, and forty dollars less to fix a broken door with.
Matt must have sensed the tears, because his next words were much gentler. "Whatever happened, you can tell me. I can—"
He fell silent. You peeled off your jacket, examining the scrapes on your hands briefly. Those would sting in the water, undoubtedly. Taking care of them was an imperative. Matt had a case to work on, and a city to save. The thought of him being preoccupied with your damn hands was enough to make you want to throw your fist into the wall with anger. Anger with yourself. How could you have let yourself get mugged? If you'd just called a fucking Uber from the station, then this would never have happened.
Matt said something on the other side of the door, too softly for you to hear.
"Didn't catch that," you said, as casually as possible. Priority number one was making sure Matt didn't know the extent to which you were freaked out.
"I said, who did this?"
"I don't know," you said evenly. It was harder than you thought it would be to keep your voice steady, when every instinct in you wanted to say it with a sob, and to curl back up on the floor. Standing was too hard, listening to Matt was too hard, simply breathing was too hard — every time you closed your eyes, the feeling of the gun against your temple returned to you.
There was a sudden click, and the door swung open. Matt had unlocked it, somehow, and you didn't have the energy to question how he'd done it.
His presence was like a live electric wire as he stepped into the room. You could feel the tension rising within him, threatening to spill over if you didn't give a name or a hint of what happened. You crossed your arms, wishing you'd left your jacket on, even though it didn't make a difference for what Matt could sense about you. The scrape on your face seared angrily and the fleeting thought passed through you that Matt could probably feel the heat of it just as clearly as you.
"I said I was fine," you said finally, keeping your voice controlled. "I told you I needed a minute."
"That doesn't matter when you're hurt. I need to know how hurt. Let me just feel—"
"Matt, please." You were shaking now, and torn between collapsing into his arms and never letting him know the extent to which you were absolutely petrified. Matt froze.
"Do you need me to leave?" he asked softly.
"I... no. I don't know what I need. I need..." A thrill of horror raced through you at the realization that you hadn't checked the window in awhile. What if the man was coming up the street now, on his way to break in and finish the deed with a bullet in your head? A bullet in Matt's head? You brushed by him and hurried to the window, squinting out at the dark.
Matt followed, and this time he didn't wait before coming up right behind you and cupping your cheek with his hand. It was gentle, but not a romantic act — you could feel the way his fingertips grazed over the scrape, accounting for the grit and sweat and blood that adorned it. Unable to bring yourself to move, you stood like a deer in the headlights as his hands then moved to your temples.
"No concussion," he said, but his jaw remained just as tight as he lowered his fingers to your own hands, breezing over them gingerly.
"These scrapes need to be cleaned." His face tensed as his hand hovered near your thigh. "Did he—?"
"No. No, I was just..." Mugged. It was too embarrassing to admit, and the word lodged in your throat. "Just some things were taken. Phone. Wallet. Suitcase."
"Jesus, at seven in the evening? Did anyone see? I want a name. A description. Anything. I'll find him and—"
"It wasn't seven in the evening." You dipped your head, tears welling again. "My plane was delayed."
You feared that he was going to be pissed, but instead he simply looked bemused. "Why didn't you say anything? I would've met you at the airport."
"Because you had work," you said, more stiffly. "And I know that me getting robbed looks bad, but I don't want to be your burden. Foggy needed your help tonight, not me."
"Not you? That's bullshit, Y/N," Matt said, and the electricity that had been buzzing in his movements finally exploded. "The reason I put on the damn suit anyway is because I care about people, including you. And you — you're above the rest, because I love you. Don't you see that? I need this, I need to find whoever did this, because if I don't, then I've failed you. I've failed myself, I've failed the city, I've failed my faith."
"Matt, it's not that serious. I overreacted, that's all."
"Like hell you overreacted. How do you think I felt when I left work and heard your heartbeat from two blocks away, racing like you were staring death in the face? When I got into the apartment and could smell your blood? When I came in here and could taste your fear?"
"I didn't ask you to sense those things," you snapped, and the moment the words were out of your mouth, you regretted them. It wasn't as though you could have simply elected to not see Matt that time he'd arrived at the apartment, torn up and bloody, or simply turned your head when you'd heard him yelling in the hospital as Claire stitched up his guts. In fact, it was impossible to not pay attention even more at times like that. Your mouth was dry as you shook your head. "I'm sorry, Matt. I don't mean that."
Still, he didn't get mad at you. "I know."
And it was that, his patience despite the energy palpitating in his fists that made you sink onto the couch, placing your face in your hands. "Shit, I'm so sorry. I... I can tell you what happened. It's just that admitting it makes it so much more real. It's humiliating."
Matt sat next to you, just shy of touching you. Waiting for your permission, likely. "Who was it?"
"Bearded man. Stained sweatshirt, really large — probably six foot four."
"Where?"
"Three blocks directly west of us."
"How did you get the scrapes?"
You closed your eyes. "I tried to get away. He tackled me. There was a gun, too. He kept it pointed at my head, and — Oh, God. He said if I told anyone, that he'd come here. He's got our address because of my license. He said he'd come here with the gun and—"
"Pointed at your head?" Matt's voice dropped to a dangerous low again, reminiscent of the devil. "You could've been killed." He got to his feet, stalking to the cabinet and unbuttoning his shirt.
"Matt," you said weakly, unsure of how to make the request for him to stay. He wanted to leave. He needed to let out the energy and protect, as was his standard, but you needed him to protect from here. The thought of being alone in the apartment was unbearable; you wanted him by your side, keeping you safe with his presence, not the mask.
"I wasn't there for you." Matt's fists were clenching and unclenching rhythmically as he stood in front of the suit, shirtless. Contemplating, or strategizing? You weren't sure. "I — if he had shot you — I can't—"
"Matt," you said again, louder this time. "I need—"
You were about to say "you" but the energy broiling in Matt's stance made you fall short. He needed to do this. You could be alone for a bit longer, you told yourself. "I need the bandages," you finished. "They're... not in the bathroom."
"They're under the kitchen sink," Matt said, and suddenly he turned around, his expression softer. "Let me help."
Inwardly sighing, you sat on the armchair, hugging your knees, while Matt cleaned your scrapes with a steady hand. He didn't say a word as he worked, his eyes darting about uncharacteristically. You still couldn't get a read on exactly what he was thinking. There was no chance he'd be angry at you, but that didn't preclude him from being disappointed.
How many other people would have been able to hold their own against that man? Everyone else in Matt's circle would have been capable. Frank, Jessica, Danny, Luke — they wouldn't have been even fazed at all. Elektra would have had a field day with him. Even Karen and Foggy had proved themselves quick to react in dangerous situations, and you couldn't help but think anyone in that situation other than you would have walked away unscathed. Your cheeks burned at the thought, as much as you willed them not to.
"What is it?" Matt said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper.
Of course he'd notice the shift in your temperature.
"Maybe I deserved it," you said, a bit bitterly. "I shouldn't have been walking out there. Like you said, I could've called you. And I didn't. I could've learned more self-defense over the past few years, and I haven't. It's my own stupidity that's got me where I am."
Matt stilled. "You're blaming yourself?"
"I'm blaming my lack of foresight."
He resumed dabbing at your hands, and was silent for so long that you thought he wasn't going to answer. Finally, he said, "With that line of reasoning, then it's my fault Elena Cardenas was killed. I should have done more."
"That's not the same, and you know it."
He ignored you. "It's also my fault that Foggy got shot, that time we were in Reyes's office. If I had been listening more closely to what was going on down the street, then I would have heard the threat coming sooner."
"Matt, come on. You know what I meant."
"And it's my fault that Fisk got out of prison. If I had the wherewithal to kill him the first day I met him, he would never have—"
"Stop it!"
"Do you get it?" he whispered. "It's not your fault. We could preoccupy ourselves all day with the ifs that might have changed what happened. But you can't beat yourself up over the ifs that you couldn't have predicted. The bad people in this world don't get to benefit from your own self-degradation. Never take the fall for something they've done."
You let out a short laugh through the tears that caught in your eyes. "You give great advice, Matt, but you're terrible at following it yourself."
"Touché. Take off your pants for me?"
You smiled. "You really know how to sweet-talk a girl."
Matt brushed his thumbs over the corners of your eyes, exactly where they were still damp. "Well, maybe once your knees are cleaned up, I'll show you how it's really done."
You pulled off your pants and tossed them onto the couch. "You're not... heading out onto the street?"
"I'd rather be here."
You hardly dared to believe it. "You sure?"
"Positive." He didn't hesitate as he bent down onto the floor, methodically poring over the scrapes with the washcloth. "You're my priority."
A warm glow flushed through your cheeks, this time out of relief, and the smile that tugged at Matt's lips told you that he sensed it. You let him finish bandaging up your knees before you grabbed his arm and pulled him next to you on the armchair. There wasn't much space, but you lifted your knees so that he was partially underneath you, squeezed next to one another so tightly that you could feel his heartbeat.
"Hey," you said, after a moment. "How'd you unlock the bathroom door without a key so quickly?"
"It's an easy trick. Stick showed me years ago."
"Can you show me?"
"A good magician keeps his secrets," Matt said. At your frown, he laughed. "I'll show you tomorrow."
"I love you," you said, resting your head on his shoulder.
"I love you more than you'll ever know," he answered. You fell asleep to his hand running through your hair, the billboard outside rotating between hues of violet and cobalt, and the faint thrum of the muted air conditioner in the apartment above.
When you woke, you were in bed. It was still early; the dawn outside was muted. Matt must have carried you into the bedroom, because you had no memory of moving in there yourself. For a moment you feared he had taken to the streets, but feeling the warmth on your left, he was still there, and had been for some time. You shifted, trying to get nearer to his warmth. He said nothing but tugged you in even closer, his arms and legs thrown over you protectively.
What if you had been shot and killed? The thought was eerie. This bed would be empty. Matt would surely be out for the man's blood. And all this... you wouldn't ever get to experience it again. It was far too easy to take each day for granted. Far, far too easy.
One day at a time, then, you decided, and closed your eyes again as Matt's hand crept over your own.
764 notes · View notes
cowgurrrl · 8 months
Text
What's In A Name?
Pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader
Author’s note: hey remember when I said I was rewatching daredevil
Summary: You settle on a new nickname for Matthew [1.3k]
Warnings: fluff, lawyer talk, brief mention of Jack, Daredevil things, June’s first time writing Matt so pls be nice, I think that’s it??
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He's realized it changes depending on the day. You refer to him in court as your colleague, Mr. Murdock, or even Counselor. You call him Murdock to get his attention or scold him for something. That Idiot in The Mask before you find out about his nightly escapades. That Idiot in The Mask after you find out about his nightly escapades. But more often than not, when he climbs into bed after a long night of being That Idiot, your eyes flutter open, and you murmur a soft "Matthew" before snuggling into him.
Foggy and Karen make fun of you for using his full name more often than Matt, which is undeniably faster and punchier. Every once in a while, you'll pull Franklin out to make Foggy cringe and accuse you of sounding like his mother. Their teasing does nothing to stop you from calling him Matthew. It's the name in your phone, the name you punch in braille in his birthday cards, the name you use to introduce him to others, everything. 
It also helps to conceal the specifics of your relationship from other lawyers who may get nosy and try to use your relationship against you in a court of law. What girlfriend wouldn't call her boyfriend by a nickname? The kind of girlfriend who went through seven years of school and refuses to have her JD called into question just because she went into practice with her boyfriend and best friends. 
The good thing is he doesn't seem to mind you calling him Matthew. It's very rare that the name doesn't grate on his ears, but when it falls from your lips, it's warm and welcome like the first sunny day after a harsh New York winter. The question, however, comes on a chilly October evening while sitting with socked feet on the couch and working through closing statements. 
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard many pieces of information throughout the past few weeks. Many of them circumstantial," you read to him as you scribble the notes on a yellow legal pad. His hand is resting on your thigh, tracing patterns into your soft leggings, and cocks his head in your direction to show you he's listening. "However, you have also heard from my client-"
"Our client." Matt interrupts, and you look up at him. His tinted glasses are resting on the coffee table amid scattered case notes and copies of evidence, and his brown eyes are cast vaguely in your direction. When you first started dating, he told you people were uncomfortable with his bouncing, unfocusing eyes, and that's why he hadn't taken off his glasses in front of you. Since then, it's been a steady journey of reassuring him how much you love him, love all of him. The fact that all these years later, he's sitting without shame and without his glasses is enough to make your heart soar. 
"Is O'Reilly also the jury's client?" 
"No, but there are multiple defense attorneys on this case."
"Okay, so what if I gesture to you when I say it?" You ask, and the corner of Matt's mouth quirks up.
"'M sure that'll look very professional, sweetheart." He says, amusement in his tone, and you roll your eyes as you look back down at the paper. 
"I'm just gonna say 'my client.'" 
"Fine, but I'm telling Foggy."
"Oh, c'mon, we both know you've claimed clients and cases as your own. It's not a big deal."
"I have not!" 
"I will pull court transcripts right now."
"Maybe I should be the one to give closing statements." He teases and tries to reach for your papers. You rip them out of his reach and drop them on the floor when he tickles your sides. You laugh and try to fight against his strong hands, but he grabs both your wrists in one hand and tickles you with the other. 
"Okay, okay, that's enough." You beg between breathless giggles, and his merciless attack on your stomach stops as fast as it started. The apartment falls silent as he lays half on top of you with your legs bracketing his sides. His hair is soft and a little too long, flopping over his forehead and hiding a yellowing bruise, and his full lips are pulled into a perfect smile that you can't help but kiss. He hums against your lips and releases your wrists, letting your hands graze his waist, narrowly avoiding sore ribs. You feel a full breath fill his lungs before he pulls away and rests his forehead on yours.
"We're never gonna finish closing statements like this." He mumbles, his voice raspy, and you shrug.
"Prosecution barely has a case. We'll be fine," you say as you scratch his back. "Besides, I always make closing statements my bitch."
"Can't argue with that." He laughs, and you hum in agreement. It's getting late. The sights and sounds of the city have dimmed just enough to tell you that people have made it home from their work days, settling into dinner and bedtime routines with their families. A certain red suit hidden in the closet pricks at the forefront of your mind, and you take a deep breath. 
You knew what you signed up for when you met Matt in your legal history class during your second year at Columbia. You'd had several long-winded conversations with him about defending the working man, upholding the law, and the importance of order in a chaotic world. You knew dating him also meant sharing him with his job, no matter what it was. Still, you never expected his part-time job to be beating up criminals in dark alleys after you went to bed. 
"Wanna order Thai from that place down the block and keep working, or do you need to go?" You ask, and he shakes his head.
"'M good."
"You sure?" 
"I like working with you." He says sincerely, and a ball of light shines in your chest. You have to fight the smile threatening the corner of your mouth, and you know he can feel it. 
"Are you just saying that cause you want me to change my wording?" You ask, and he laughs. He ducks his head to kiss your jaw before straightening back up, not letting himself get too distracted by the taste of your skin.
"No, I'm saying that because I love hearing you make closing statements your bitch."
"Good answer, Matthew." You tap his side, and he kisses you again before sitting back to let you get up and retrieve your phone from the counter. You type in the restaurant's name, your mouth watering at the thought of Pad Thai, and walk over to the back of the couch. Matt leans into you the second you're close enough, and even though you don't have super senses like him, you know he's thinking hard about something.
"You know you may be the only person in the world who calls me Matthew on a regular basis?" He asks out of the blue, and you look up from your phone. His hand finds its way to your waist and tugs you closer until your hips are flush against the couch. You indulge in his sudden neediness by running your free hand through his hair.
"What'd your dad call you?" You ask quietly. A soft chuckle escapes him, and he tilts his head at you.
"Matty."
"Matty," you try to nickname on your tongue and smile. "Gotta give it to Battlin' Jack, that's a pretty good one."
"I'm sure he'd agree with you." He says, the gentle ache of grief settling over the space. You lean down and kiss his head in reverence, like you're thanking him for sharing the memory with you. The feeling dissolves once you get back into closing statements and arguing about wording over steaming piles of food, but the name sticks in your brain. His contact name in your phone goes from Matthew to Matty. You let yourself call him Matty a handful of times to test it out, and somehow, the transition between names doesn't faze either of you. It feels good, intimate almost. Something just for the two of you. 
Hell's Kitchen can have Daredevil all they want as long as Matty is the one coming home to you. 
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goldenlikedayl1ght · 4 months
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black friday - m. murdock
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a/n: an old work i finished because i decided y'all are owed something cute and fluffy. shoutout to all my girlies who were in codependent relationships for so long that they needed to figure out who they were again after ! as always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! warnings: lots of fluff, lots of kissing, lots of talks about a bad ex, reader is rather shy at first, cursing probably but it's late and i'm probably forgetting so much im so sorry also a lot of suggestive behavior because they're in love word count: 4.5k summary: you have a list of things to do within a year of living in new york. matt helps you check everything off- oh, and you fall in love with him, too. it's not on the list, but you do it anyways. pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader now playing: black friday - tom odell "i wanna go party/i wanna have fun/wanna be happy/could you show me how it's done?/ you look so pretty/pretty like the sun"
For a long time, you thought you’d never get over your ex.
For a long time, you believed that you were it for each other. You’d go the whole nine yards—Kids, a quaint house in your hometown, Sunday dinners.
And for a long time after he broke up with you, you thought you’d never let yourself love again. How could you? How would you allow yourself to be set up for failure, after letting someone know every part of you?
You had been dating him since high school and had been living with him in your first apartment when he broke it off.
Sometimes, it was amazing, and you were never happier. But most days, it had been full of anger and talking him off the ledge all the time. It was makeup sex after arguments you couldn’t remember now.
So, when he did break up with you, you decided to use it as an excuse to run far, far away from your small town. And you found yourself in Hell’s Kitchen.
You land a job at a small law firm, and at first, you just work as a meek little office assistant.
Nelson, Murdock & Page grew by the day, and for a while, you felt out of place. It wasn’t that you were abused or worked to the bone, you just struggled to make friends, and you weren’t very social while getting over your ex anyways.
So, for about two months, you did your job quietly, laughing quietly at the bickering of your bosses, thanking Karen Page for her advice, enjoying coffee with Foggy Nelson, and of course…
Never muttering a word to Matt Murdock. He was just too intimidating. Besides, you still felt like your ex’s eyes were watching your every move, even thousands of miles away, even now.
Then one night, Foggy couldn’t handle it anymore. So, he approached you quietly at the end of a long workday, with a simple phrase.
“This week’s been crazy, huh? Hey, a few of us are going to the bar tonight, did you want to come?”
What were you supposed to say? ‘No, my ex who I don’t talk to wouldn’t like that?’
Please.
“Oh, Uhm.. I don’t know, who else is going?”
“It’ll be me, my wife, Marci, Karen..” He said.
“Sure, I’ll come.” You smiled, before you could stop yourself.
“Awesome! I’ll send you the address! I’m so glad you’re tagging along!” He grins. You’re thrilled too.
“Me too, it’ll be fun.” He begins to walk away but then he turns back around with a snap of his fingers.
“Oh! And Matt is going!”
Why wouldn’t he tell you that in the first place? Why was your face burning? Why was your heart racing?
“Oh, Great.” You told him, now suddenly conscious of everything about that night.
• • •
At the bar, you wound up ordering a drink before you went over to your friends—Well, Coworkers, you wouldn’t call them friends yet, thanking the woman behind the bar.
Then, you made your way over to them where Foggy was playing his wife in Pool—and losing horribly. So, you sit with Karen and Matt, where there is conveniently one seat available, right between the two.
Karen excitedly said your name as you approach adding a, “I can’t believe you came!” Which, ouch, but, fair.
“Well, Foggy was right, this week’s been awful, so I wanted to relax.” You smiled, sitting with them.
“I’m glad,” she said, before asking, “So, why’d you move to New York?” She knew you weren’t from here, so you figured the question would come up eventually.
“Just needed a change of pace from a small town, you know?”
“I do,” she nodded, “Do you like it here?”
Did you like being alone all the time, feeling like you’re always doing something wrong? Like you should run back to your hometown and beg your ex to marry you?
“Yeah, I love it. It’s so different in a way I wasn’t really prepared for, but it’s great.” You lied.
Matt’s blind. Why did it feel like he has this burning gaze into your skin?
“Did you go to college in your hometown, too?”
“Yeah,” You smile. You loved College. You were an early education major and had even gotten your masters in your small community college. You loved teaching, and if you hadn’t moved, you’d have stayed at the school that hired you after student teaching there. But, when you got to the city, you were unable to find consistent work because the demand for teachers was so high.
So here you were, working as an office assistant for a small law firm.
Karen glanced down to her glass and frowned.
“I’m going to grab another drink, do either of you want anything?”
“I’m good, Karen.”
“No, thank you.”
Silence. Sickening silence.
Then, he spoke.
“Do you know how upset I am that you got your drink already?”
What?
You furrowed your brows, confused.
“I’m sorry?”
“I wanted to buy you a drink, but you beat me to it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” You repeated, a light blush on your face.
“Well, I figured it might be nice to wipe the slate clean, considering you haven’t spoken more than ten words to me since you started working with us.”
That was true. There’s just something that feels so wrong about it, even though you worked with him,
“I’m sorry,” you said again, and he just laughed.
“You say that a lot.”
“I’m sor—” You caught yourself, clearing your throat. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, you speak to everyone, just not me. So, I listen and I’m pretty sure you apologize more than anything else.”
Your face was beet red.
“Okay, Okay, I get it. I don’t talk a lot, especially not to you. It’s something I’m working on, I have a whole list of things I’m working on.”
That’s true. You had an actual list of goals you have before your first year in New York is up.
“A list?”
“A list.”
“May I?” He asked, and you sighed, pulling out your phone, your list nestled deep into your notes app.
“Apologize less and talk to you is at the top.” You told him. “Then it’s get a job I love,”
“Ouch.”
“Sorry, Boss.” You took a sip of your drink, “Move into a nicer apartment, and uh..” You sighed softly. “Get over my ex.”
He tilts his head.
“Your ex?”
“The reason I moved here. He broke up with me about six months ago, but we were together for so long it feels like an impossible task.”
Matt knows the feeling.
“It’s an easy enough list. We can help you.” He says, “When did you move to New York?”
“May 1st.”
“Okay, then by May of next year, you should have everything accomplished.”
“We?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna help you.”
“Oh, so now it’s you and not all of you?”
Now it’s his turn to blush.
“You’re rather talkative now.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I like it.”
• • •
Talking to Matt is easy, you discover quickly.
It’s the apologizing that gets you.
You’re staying late at the office about a month later, while Hell’s Kitchen is amid a blistering heat wave.
You feel like you might die. You’re editing a closing argument Foggy wants to practice when Matt calls your name gently.
“Can I see you in my office for a second?” He asks. You follow him into his office, not really thinking much of it.
“What’s up?” You ask, sitting in the spare chair in his office as he closes the door behind him, going to the seat at his desk.
“Well, remember that list we talked about?”
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t heard much from you this week.”
That’s true, it’s just been sort of a hectic time with cases piling up. You can only do so much work AND talk to your favorite coworker. Yes, Matt had quickly become your favorite person at the office, even after just a month of really trying to open up to him.
He learned about your ex, your holiday traditions and that you hate peppermint.
You learned about his parents, his favorite dessert, and that he dresses up every night to go fight the criminals of New York.
Okay, you technically weren’t supposed to learn that, but you had stopped by his apartment early to drop off a file you were working on, and he had just crawled home and was still in his suit when he answered the door, forgetting completely that you didn’t know.
So now You knew how he was able to tell that you lied to Karen that night at the bar.
“I’m—” You start to apologize, but then you stop yourself. “I’m not sorry, I’ve been busy and so have you, but I do miss talking to you, though I am not sorry.” You say, and he grins.
“That’s my girl.”
Huh.
Your stomach swirls and you beam at the praise.
Wait, what?
You brush it off, before asking,
“Does Daredevil still come out to play even though it’s a hundred degrees out?”
“Will you have your window open with a few bottles of water open for me?”
“Always.”
“Then yes.”
Talking to Matt is rather easy. You have a feeling that soon the apologizing will follow.
• • •
October is the month of figuring out what you want to do with your life.
Sure, you love working in the office, but you are going crazy. You’re under stimulated and the hours are consistently long.
So, you try a lot of things.
You bake, you cook, you take exams, you work tirelessly to try and figure out where you want to work and where you’ll be happiest.
You try doing hair but find yourself uninspired.
You think you might like being a nursing assistant but turns out, you don’t like blood.
But part of you knows your heart isn’t in it, for two reasons.  
For one, you want to teach. You want to be teaching young kids’ addition and their spelling and stars. You desperately want to be a great influence in their lives.
And the second thing is..
You don’t want to leave your coworkers.
You love spending time with Karen and Foggy. For a long time, you didn’t have friends outside of your relationship, and they are the best friends you’ve ever had.
Foggy spends long coffee breaks cracking jokes with you and asking for your sandwich order, telling you that you have to stop by his brother’s deli for one of his signature subs. Then he tells you this long-winded story about how his mother wanted him to be a butcher, not a lawyer.
Karen is your favorite girl. She’s not only drop dead gorgeous and ridiculously smart, but she is also kind like no one you have ever met. She texts you when you forget to let her know you’ve gotten home safe, there is always a coffee on your desk when you get there and for your birthday, flowers are on your desk, scribbled with a cute note in her handwriting.
And then, there’s Matt.
He’s your best friend and knows you better than anyone. He loves having you right in the office where he can hear your heartbeat and smell your vanilla coconut perfume. He tells you about his dad and you tell him about your folks.
He knows your Chinese and Thai food orders like the back of his hand, always ordering you some when he gets his. You describe the movies you’re watching in detail, and he hangs on to every word. There is no one who sees you more than him, and he’s quite literally blind. When you tell him about your dream to go back into teaching, he encourages it.
“When I was a kid, I’d have benefited so much from someone like you.”
He asks you to do his makeup for his Halloween costume, no matter how badly it irritates his skin. He likes the idea of your hands so close to his face.
But you’re both critically aware of how, not only is the market flooded, but you’re dreading the day you leave your little office job.
So many people have asked if the two of you are dating. And you both always laugh, because.. because you just love each other in a way that you can’t describe. But no, you’ve never thought about dating Matt Murdock.
Until this one day.
It’s like any other day, really. You have your friends cramped in your tiny apartment and you’re just waiting for Matt’s arrival before you eat dinner for the night.
Karen, Foggy and Marci sit at your little table as you finish cooking, and Marci just glances over to you.
“You need to move to a better apartment.”
“I know, I know,” you laugh, “But she’s so cozy! I love it here!” It was, and is, all you could afford, but you grew to love it.
“Yeah, and I love having leg room.” Foggy chimes.
“You know what, Nelson? You could just, pay me more so I could move somewhere nicer?”
“Touche.” There’s a knock on the door, so you grin and head over there, opening the door for Matt.
And you need to take a second.
He’s holding your favorite bottle of wine, and he’s in these nice dark jeans and a gray sweater under his peacoat.
This thought strikes you.
This thing you thought you’d never feel again after your ex.
Matt Murdock is hot, and you have got to have him.
This is it. The thing you can’t deny any longer. You have a massive crush on the devil that disguises himself as your favorite person. To you, he is an angel.
“Hey,” you say breathily, as if you have it out for yourself. Surely he’ll know. “You didn’t have to bring wine.” You told him, a soft smile on your face.
He steps inside as you take the wine, leaning in to kiss your cheek gently, something he has found himself doing every time he enters your apartment. It’s your routine.  He loves this aspect of your dynamic because he has known that he’s wanted you for months. You’ve just been so caught up in everything that you didn’t see it.
“It’s no trouble, thank you for having us,” he says gently.
So this is it.
You just can’t deny it.
You have a massive crush on Matt Murdock, and there isn’t a thing you could do about it. Except maybe kiss him. But for that night, you just kind of relax and pretend you’re already dating him. That’s something you haven’t done in a long time.
You’re beginning to feel like yourself again.
• • •
Nelson Family Christmas celebrations are something of legend for you. For months you’ve heard about it, and you’re on your way to the deli with a handful of presents and two trays of cookies.
You’ve decided that just once, you want a holiday away from your family. Truth be told, you really don’t want to spend your holiday without your best friends.
You have on this stunning outfit—A red sweater, a black skirt and these warm black stockings. Boots to die for.
You know Matt can’t see your outfit, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting to dress up for him. It’s weird. This crush thing has been getting out of control.
You’re greeted at the door of the Deli with a crowd full of blonde-haired New York Irish-Italians, and they’re all lovely. You put your presents down and place your cookies on the dessert table. And you love Foggy’s family. They ask you questions constantly, and Foggy’s sister-in-law talks to you for a while about her career in the local high school system.
It’s a joy to meet so many people so full of love.
So, you go over to Foggy as he’s yapping and say gently, “Hey, where’s Matt?”
He grins.
“Why do you want to go kiss him under the mistletoe?” He teases. Your face goes red.
“Shut up! Where is he, Franklin?” You glare and he laughs, patting your arm.
“Upstairs in the hallway.” He says, and as you walk away he calls, “Go get ‘em, Tiger!” You glare and grab a cookie on your way up.
And you find him, standing in a quiet corner of the hallway. You go to open your mouth and he turns to you.
“Merry Christmas,” he leans forward and kisses your cheek.
“Merry Christmas, Matty.” You hum. “Guess what type of cookie I have.”
He sniffs the air and shakes his head. “Give me a taste and I’ll guess.” You hand him the cookie and he put it in his mouth halfway, raising his eyebrows to you.
“What?”
He gestures to the cookie in his mouth, and you laugh, realizing that he wants you to bite the other end, ala Lady and the Tramp. So you lean forward and take a bite, and he eats the rest, inches separating your face as you enjoy your treat.
People chatter down the hallway and Christmas music plays from somewhere. There are so many different foods and people, and all Matt can focus on is the vanilla coconut scent of your perfume. When you’re both finished eating your cookie, his hands find your waist.
“Matt, what are you—”
You don’t get the chance to finish because suddenly he is kissing you in the dark hallway of your friend’s family Christmas party. The kiss is wonderful. He tastes of the cookie you two shared. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
You need more kissing practice because it’s been so long. But you get the feeling that Matt won’t mind helping you out if this is another thing you want to add to your list.
When he pulls away, he’s a bit breathless but he says one thing to you.
“Chocolate chip peanut butter.”
“What?”
“That’s my guess for the cookie type.”
“Wanna kiss me again to confirm?” He grins and his hands travel down, just slightly to feel the materials of your skirt.
“That’s my girl.”
• • •
The next two months fly by in a whirl of kissing Matt, trying to find a teaching job and enjoying your first real winter in New York.
By the time March rolls around, the clock is ticking for you to be able to find a job in this school year. And then, Foggy and Matt get you the best gift ever.
“Mrs. Future Murdock,” You send Foggy a glare.
“Watch it.”
“Okay, listen—You remember that rich guy that was wrongfully accused of tax evasion?”
“Yeah, why?” You’re cleaning up your office space for the weekend, excited to go to Josie’s, have a few drinks and unwind with your very handsome boyfriend.
“Well, he’s a super intendent for a large school district in Hell’s Kitchen.” Your head snaps up to the two.
“What does that mean for me?” You raise an eyebrow.
“There’s an older teacher there who needed to have surgery and we thought, hey, we know a teacher who could sub in.”
“…Who?”
“You.” Matt says, and you grin. “Your interview is Monday.”
You gasp and hug Foggy quickly, before making your way over to Matt.
“You are the absolute best.” You kiss him quickly and his hands, as they often do, find themselves on your hips. “Thank you.”
What a lovely lovely man.
“Don’t thank us yet, you still need to get the job.” Right.
Your night at Josie’s is lovely but you spend the rest of your weekend prepping for the interview on Monday. It goes well, but something in you is telling you to stay anxious. Why? You have no idea.
It takes two weeks for them to get back to you. But you walk into the office of Nelson, Murdock & Page with a big grin. You walk right into Matt’s office, who glances up to you when you walk in, your heart racing.
“Hey, Sweetheart, I—” He cuts himself off when you walk right up to his desk and pull his chair out before finding yourself on Matt’s lap.  Your arms wrap around his neck and his arms find your waist. Before he can say much else, you kiss him quickly, and he grins into the kiss. Eventually, when you do pull away, Matt asks, “Everything okay?”
“Matty, consider this to be my two weeks’ notice.”
He gasps happily.
“Oh my god! How awful it is that you’re leaving us!” He grins, kissing you quickly. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you for getting me the interview.” You tell him, “You know if I do well, the teacher might let me coteach with her next year.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Our list is almost done, baby.”
“Your list, not ours.”
“Yeah but you’ve been helping so much.”
“You’re easy to help.”
“You’re easy to love.”
He blushes and decides to kiss his girl again.
• • •
 So, in April, a month before your year is up, you find yourself needing a new apartment. The rent is getting crazy, and it’s nowhere near the school you’re working in. Especially considering that the teacher you’re subbing for decided she wanted to retire so you’d be taking over for her full time come Fall.
Plus, your apartment is small and cramped, especially with Matt’s stuff slowly invading your place. You discuss this with him one night. It’s late and he’s covered in cuts from his Daredeviling.
“I hate apartment hunting.” You whine, and he hums, kissing your head gently. “Nowhere is good enough. Too far from the school, too far from you, too expensive.” You complain.
“Why don’t you move in here?”
Huh. Why hadn’t you thought of that? Was it too quick to be moving in with him at this point? Maybe, but something told you Matt wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“Really?”
He grins.
“Really. It’s close to the school, a good price, and rather close to me.” You grin and kiss him softly. It’s your favorite habit.
So, two weeks later, you’re hauling boxes into your boyfriend’s apartment. You take a few drawers of his dresser and some of your nicer outfits find their way into his armoire. Your mugs sit comfortably next to his in his cabinets. Your cabinets.
Your throw blanket is draped comfortably across his couch, and your shoes lay next to his.
Your lotion sits next to his first aid kit. You love dating Matt Murdock.
You love that next month will be one year since you moved to New York, and your life is sort of coming together. Glorious Matthew Murdock is your boyfriend. Your job is amazing. Your apartment is wonderful. Matt Murdock is your boyfriend, and he is amazing at kissing you.
• • •
So, Matt knows May is your year since moving to New York. He knows you guys could go to Josie’s and have a normal old time at the bar…
But he wants to do something special for you. So, he asks Foggy, Marci and Karen to get dressed up and go to a bar on the nicer side of town. Not that you don’t love Josie’s but your one year in New York calls for a special occasion.
You decide to wear a nice satin dress and he loves running his hands over the soft fabric. To Mat, you are perfect in every way, and every day he falls deeper and deeper in love with you.
So on a warm May night in Hell’s Kitchen, you sit in a bougie bar with your best friends, boyfriend and enjoy a year since you moved to this wonderful place you now call home. And a year and four months since your ex broke up with you. Truly, for a long time, you thought you’d never get over him.
Now, Matt is all you see.
At some point, a little tipsy, you kiss Matt’s cheek gently and tell him you’re going to grab another drink.
“Do you want anything?” You ask softly.
“Just for you to come back soon. I’ll miss you.” Oh, Tipsy Matt was your favorite.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You kiss him quick and head off to the bar. You order another drink and wait patiently, taking in just how happy you are in this moment.
Then, a familiar voice calls your name, and you glance over and you can’t believe it.
Your ex-boyfriend is right in front of you, and for a moment, you convince yourself you must be drunker than you realized.
“Wow, you look fantastic!” He says a grin on his face. Was… Was your ex ever… attractive? You can’t remember if he ever was. Especially not since dating Matt.
“Oh, Thanks..” You smile softly, trying to be polite but to get out of here quickly and get back to the arms of your loving boyfriend.
“Are you here with anyone?”
“Yeah.” You told him. “Some of my good friends, and—”
“So, you’re not seeing anyone?” You furrow your eyebrows. When did you say that?
Then, there’s an arm around your waist, and you know whose it is in an instant.
“Hey, Sweetheart.. Is everything okay?” Matt asks, smiling to you. Oh, he knows. He knows big time.
“Everything is great.” You turn to your ex and grin. “This is Matt, He’s my—”
“Fiancé.” Matt ends.
Fiancé?
“Fiancé?” Your ex asks, bewildered.
“Mhm. Got engaged a few days ago, that’s what we’re here celebrating.” You said gently, leaning your head against Matt’s arm.
“Engaged, but you’ve only been here for a year!”
“Well, I wasn’t about to wait around for you to ask me to date you again.” You glance over to Matt. “Besides, when you know you know.” You say softly.
Matt leans in and kisses you gently, “When you know, you know.” He echoes.
Your ex is wildly uncomfortable.
“I thought you said you’d always love me.” He says, and he has that intimidating tone to his voice that you hate.
“Yeah… Me too.. Guess I was wrong. You have a nice night, Okay?” You smile and take your drink, turning to head back to your friends. Your ex is bummed out but leaves you alone, and Matt grins to you further.
“When you know you know.” He hums.
“Fiancé..” You echo. He shrugs gently.
“I like the sound of it.”
“Me too.” You say gently. “I love you.”
“I love you, Sweetheart.” He kisses your cheek. “So… A year in New York.”
“Yup. My list is all done.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I talk to you all the time, and I don’t apologize unless it’s necessary. I love teaching and my job. My apartment is stellar, and… I think it’s safe to say I am over my ex. I upgraded. In fact, my upgrade is so much hotter than anyone else I know.”
Matt leans in to kiss you, a grin on his face, but he mutters a soft, “That’s my girl,” Before he does.
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hellsburners · 10 months
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thin walls
summary: this new york city apartment has terrible walls! pairing: matt murdock x gender neutral!reader word count: 934 warnings: 18+ warning, masturbation, perv!matt, eavesdropping, mutual masturbation kinda?, sex toy use, neighbor!matt a/n: was writing for a request but this prompt came to mind lol.
masterlist | more matt murdock
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Matt Murdock let out a yawn listening to his screen reader, neck aching, lids half-hooded at this point. It was well beyond the night for this lawyer of Hell’s Kitchen. It was definitely nothing new, taking hours doing research for a case. The week has been busy for him, balancing pro-bono cases and bigger cases to pay for the bills, this didn’t even include his nightly duties to the Kitchen. 
Matt was in his dining area with his laptop and tons of paperwork, one earbud on as the robotic voice of the reader blurred in his tired brain. He pauses the audio and rests his face on his hands. The sounds of his neighborhood started to flood his senses, the dogs barking, the couples fighting, the crying babies, it was all making his head hurt. He tries to breathe his way into silencing the noises, purely focusing on blocking them all out when he hears a moan and buzzing sound from the unit next door. He knew who you were, you’ve exchanged greetings before, you even gave him packed food on Christmas day. It was a warm gesture, something that rarely happens in this neighborhood he loves to protect. 
With Matt tuning his senses to the sounds coming from your room he hears what you’re doing clearly. You were on your bed, he heard the way the bed creaks and the way the cotton sheets brush on your shirt, you were completely naked waist down, the vibrating toy in between your legs teases you sex. It was a gift from your friend, you told them it was embarrassing and that you would never use it anyway, but here you were holding the six-inch pink vibrator in your hands. 
On the other side of the wall Matt could hear you spread lube on the vibrating device. He furrowed his brows and removed the earbud to fully listen to what’s happening. Matt knew it was wrong, he purposely intended to only use his hightented abilities for good, not for eavesdropping on your neighbor masturbating. He loosens his tie from the heat starting to burn inside him, unbuttoning the first two buttons from his shirt. He hears your soft moans from you teasing your sex with the vibrator, you try to increase the intensity and you suddenly shudder from the shock of pleasure. At the same time, Matt could feel his own erection form. 
Your mind wandered to the hot neighbor you had, with his red glasses, unkempt stubble, and his soft lips. You wondered what it would feel to have those lips on your skin, the softness of his kisses with the roughness of his facial hair trailing down your body to your center. Your eyes closed as you dive deeper into your fantasy, moaning while your thighs move closer. You were reminded of that time you saw him take a package left on his doorstep with the name “Foggy” written on it. He was only clothed from the waist down with worn out sweatpants with the hems tucked into old cotton socks. You marveled at his toned body, his big arms, his broad chest and his abs. You couldn’t help but stare as he bent down and his muscles contracted into deeper lines making them more defined. 
“Fuck,” you said as you started to put the vibrator in your sex, feeling your muscles tense and give into the sensations. The lube added more ease to the thrusts you were doing to your center. You gripped the sheets as you moaned. In your head the pleasure wasn’t from a toy but from the man in the unit next door. 
Behind the thin wall Matt Murdock was also in the middle of pleasure. He had opened his trousers and was pumping his dick to the sounds from the other room. Your voice starts to pitch higher from the immense pleasure. You muffle your moans with your other hand as you continue to fuck yourself. In a twisted use of his abilities, Matt could single out the  moments the vibrator would go in and out of you. He used that chance to pump his dick in the same rhythm to yours. 
Come on, sweetheart, let me hear your moans, he whispers under his breath, his chest rising and falling. He spits into his cock to give him some lubrication so his thrusts could be faster. You were a whimpering mess, your hand leaves your mouth to play with your nipples. You wanted to call for his name. The name of the man next door. Matt was it? Your orgasm was close. Your body slightly convulsing, tears pooling in your eyes. You wanted him so badly, want to feel his cock as it thrusts inside you. You want to feel him lose himself in your arms. A carnal desire looms over the both of you.
“I want you so bad, Matt,” you moaned. Matt was shocked to hear you moan his name, and how you wanted him. Wanton lust pulses through Matt’s body as he cums. His senses focusing on your beautiful noises, his cum pools on his abdomen as he climaxes.
The tension inside you loosens as you give out your release. You give out one last moan before you fall back to the mattress. You turn off the device and take it out of you. You lay there in your bed, ashamed of what you’ve done. The same way Matt feels. Sin won tonight in Hell’s Kitchen, wherein you and the devil lost yourselves to lust. Matt wondered if it would happen again tomorrow night. 
He grins.
interactions are greatly appreciated btw if u liked this fic and want more send me a prompt and i'd gladly make something from it :>
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justsomerandomfanfic · 3 months
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What Am I Going To Do With You? - Logan Howlett X GN Reader
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Title: What Am I Going To Do With You?
Logan Howlett X GN Reader
Additional Characters: N/A
Requested by Anon!
WC: 4,438
Warnings: Death mentioned briefly, X-Men canon violence briefly mentioned, italics, cursing, unconsciousness?, alcohol (beer), very brief mentions of poisoning, yelling mentioned, nightmares mentioned, confessions, strangers to friends to lovers, nicknames, banter, teasing, flirting, slight suggestiveness, slight angst, and fluff
The snow was falling softly outside, and a few puffy flakes were already starting their journey into the ground of the forested land that surrounded your small cabin in Hunter, New York. The air was cold and biting with each puff of wind that blew across the open landscape. It was early in the morning, on a Friday, when you would usually go out and cut up some new firewood for the upcoming days. It was hard work, especially in such cold weather, but it ultimately kept you warm for a week or two before you'd have to chop up some more.
In your oversized, white coat, you gathered as much wood as you possibly could fit into your arms before setting off through the thick snow, back to your back door. Kicking and knocking your snow boats against the slightly raised threshold, you shook your hair out as you nudged the door closed with your hip. The snow that had landed softly in your hair began to instantly melt into its liquid form once the warm and comforting heat of your house hit you. Setting down the wood logs on the small wooden table by your wood-burning furnace; you stood up straight, back slightly aching as you did so. 
Upon looking at your wood pile, you worried on your bottom lip before deciding to go out for a couple more from the large stack you had up against the side of your cabin. You weren't entirely sure that you'd have enough, so it was best to grab more wood than you'd need. You didn't want to freeze to death during the rest of your winter, and you didn't want to go out into the freezing cold more than you'd have to. 
With a short glance at your still-steaming coffee on your dining room table, you let out a sigh before stepping back out into the cold. Stuffing your mittens together to keep them tight on your hands, you rubbed at your chill-to-the-bone nose before heading back around to the side of your cabin. But right as you turned the corner, you froze, not literally. There, lying slumped in the thick and deep snow was a man. He definitely wasn’t there when you went out to get the first load of logs. He didn't move, possibly unconscious... Or worse... Dead. You couldn't have a dead man on your property... It would only bring trouble. 
Hoping, praying that his man was still alive, you dragged your feet through the seven-inch snow, standing within inches from him, you dropped to your knees. Eyes wandering his large figure, you bit your lip; he was breathing, his back rising and falling slowly. This man wouldn't survive long, him facing down like that. Tearing off your gloves, you quickly pushed him over, groaning slightly from how heavy the man was. What did he eat? Rocks?
Once upon his back, you let out a short breath, a small foggy plume escaping your lips as you looked over him. You couldn't help but stare, completely entranced by the man's striking features. His face, although covered in bits of stubborn snow, was a rosy pink, with a dark beard, and brown-curly hair. And though he was unconscious, he looked at peace, even though he lay in the middle of the cold snow. He reminded you of someone, but you didn't know who... Your mind began racing as you racked your brain to figure out where he might have been coming from, why he was unconscious, and why he would be out and about in just jeans and a flannel button-up?
Feeling the biting tingling on your hands from the cold you blinked out of your thoughts. And as if on instinct, you stood back up, your knees aching in the process as you moved around to his head. Taking hold of his arms, you grunted lightly as you pushed him forward, in a sitting position. Once you were satisfied that you had him positioned as he needed to be, you began to drag him to your back door.
It took you a long time, but by the time you had gotten the unconscious - handsome - stranger inside, you were well out of breath. You had to take a moment, taking a moment to catch your breath and calm your heart rate as you stared down at the man lying on your wooden floor. Tossing your gloves onto one of your couches, you quickly tore off your winter coat, hanging it sharply on the hook near your front door. Turning back to the man, you placed both your hands on your hips, huffing lightly. 
"What am I going to do with you?" You asked, mostly to yourself as you ran your hands through your hair. “I can’t call the police… They’ll only bring trouble…”
Thinking that now would be the best time to lay him down somewhere more comfortable before he woke, you grabbed the man again and pulled him over to your other couch, closest to the fire that was burning. You thought it would be easier to lay on your other couch than your bed; lifting the man was already hard enough - him feeling like he weighed a million pounds - but lifting him as you have up the stairs... No way. 
Staring down at the man, you worried whether or not you should get him a change of clothes, but that would be impossible. You live a good couple of miles from the closest shops and you didn't have any clothes that would fit the man; who you guessed was around six-foot-something. But you didn't want him to catch his death, so a good couple of blankets would hopefully suffice. You didn't really know… You had hoped so. Grabbing the throw on the back of the other couch, you carefully tossed it over the man before grabbing the rest of the blankets you had around the cabin. 
Upon placing the last blanket down on him, you stopped. Finally, away from the cold air and snow, you began to see the redness in his cheeks fade away slightly, and only then did you have the chance to take a better look at his face. Now that there wasn't any snow in his hair, you let your eyes run over his handsome features, noticing all the little details. From the way his eyelashes curled delicately, his short, dark brown curls became more pronounced as his hair dried, and the way his tanned skin seemed to glow under the artificial light of your lamps and the fireplace; he even had barely-there freckles upon the apples of his cheeks. Your hand twitched with the urge to stroke his cheek,.. Nope. Bad idea, bad idea... Maybe... You paused to think. Yeah, to check if he had a fever, you could do that. 
Reaching out, you softly brushed some of the stray hairs from his forehead - in awe from how soft they were from just the brief brush - your mind searing into you that having this unknown man in your home was dangerous. He could be dangerous. He was tall, obviously strong; he could easily break you in two with those large hands of his, but you ignored it. Finally, you pressed the back of your hand on his forehead, only to sigh in relief. No fever. Quickly, you pulled your hand away, making sure that he was breathing once more before you headed to the kitchen, grabbing your coffee from the dining room table as you did so. Maybe you could make some soup, for you, and possibly for the man that was in your living room. 
~~~
It had been a couple of days since the mysterious man had come into your life. And for the past couple of days, that mysterious man was still unconscious. You had been doing your best to take care of him, not really knowing what to do; though you read up on the few First Aid and Nursing textbooks you had found three years ago at a thrift store, but never got around to reading. Sitting next to the fire, in your old rocking chair that you got for the amazing price of seven dollars, a book in your hand, you decided to catch up on some reading. As you rocked, turning page after page, you occasionally looked up to make sure that he was still breathing, in turn, not fully paying attention to the words on the page. Looking over to the clock on the wall, you let out a sigh before standing and setting down your book on the rocking chair seat; the book was a bit boring anyway. 
Walking over, you sat on the ground beside the couch. Resting on your knees, you stared at the man, your mind wandering. Who was he? He looked so familiar. Like you had known him or had seen him before. But you hadn’t been out and about in - quote on quote - ‘the real world’ for years. You had been sort of living off the grid for the past couple of years. 
Reaching out, you went to feel his forehead for a fever again when his hand suddenly reached up, gripping your wrist. You gasped, eyes widening as you watched the man's eyes open, a small but gruff groan reverberating from his well-built chest. Slowly, he sat up, bringing your wrist with him, tightening his grasp slightly as he stared down at you with hard, dark brown eyes. You couldn't look away, both scared and lost in those eyes that were locked onto yours.
"Wha' happened?" He rasped, his voice rough and hoarse, "Who are you?"
You swallowed down your spit, trying not to let the nervous feeling overwhelm you. "Uh, I'm Y/N... Uh, I found you outside my cabin, unconscious." You spoke in a hushed tone, your voice quiet as you stared up at the man with wide eyes.
The man stared at you, his brows furrowing as he tilted his head slightly, clearly confused though he never dropped his slightly threatening demeanor. "Where am I?"
"You're- You're in my cabin... In, uh, Hunter, New York." You answered as you glanced from his dark eyes to his hand on your wrist, "Uh, could you please let go of me?"
His own eyes snapped to his hand, tightly wrapped around your wrist before quickly dropping your hand. Without another word, he stood, the pile of blankets falling to the side as he made his way quickly to the closet door. Staggering to your feet, you made your way to him, grabbing his flannel sleeve without really thinking. 
"Wait! You can't go back out there! It's freezing!" You exclaimed, his eyes staring down at your hand sharply before meeting your worried gaze once more.
"It don't bother me." He spoke, voice deep, sounding irritated, "I don't care 'bout no damn weather." 
"But you have no jacket, gloves, or hat... Or- Or anything! You'll catch your death out there!" At that, the man clicked his tongue, pulling his arm from your grasp, "Besides, the nearest town is miles away. Fifteen to be exact. You won't be able to make it. Especially after being unconscious for five days!" The man said nothing, walking the rest of his way to the front door, his large hand grabbing the door handle. Becoming slightly irritated, you grabbed his arm again, using enough strength to turn him towards you a little. "Listen here. It's freezing out, you just woke from some sort of small coma-like sleep thing, haven't drunk or eaten anything, and you expect me to just let you leave?" You growled, tightening your grip slightly, "At least stay a couple more days until the storm calms down. I have soup on the stove and a few drinking options in my fridge. Though, if you have a death wish, by all means, I can’t stop you, go on out there."
You stared up at the man as he stared down at you, his eyes moving around your face before he huffed, "Got any beer?"
"Beer?" You asked, slightly deadpanned, as the man looked back down at you and nodded, "Yeah... Uh, yeah, I got beer. Uh, just follow me, please." Breaking away, you turned and made your way to your kitchen, the sound of the man's heavy footsteps following close behind you. Reaching the stove, you grabbed a bowl from the cupboard before grabbing the large spoon and pouring a bit of mashed potato and onion soup into the bowl. Turning to the fridge, you grabbed one of the Coronas you had next to your hard lemonades before shutting the door with your hip. 
Turning, you found the man sitting on the stool, his lower arms resting on your counter. Clearing your throat, you set the beer and bowl of soup down before him before you grabbed your own soup. "Thanks," You heard him mutter slightly as you turned your back. 
Leaning against the corner of the counter, you stirred your soup around with a spoon, feeling very awkward. Glancing over as the man took a long sip of his beer, you spoke up once more. "Uh, may I know your name?" You asked, watching as he froze, spoon halfway to his mouth, "I mean, it's only fair. You know my name, and I've most likely saved your life and all. Nasty storm."
The man took another sip before setting the glass bottle aside, running his hand through his hair before glancing over at you, "... I'm Logan."
"Logan..." You repeated the name slowly, testing it out, "Well... What were you doing in my woods before you fell unconscious?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.
Logan shrugged, glancing away at the picture of a moose on your wall before taking another sip of his beer. Silence followed the question and you wondered why he hadn't answered. What was he hiding? Was he even hiding anything? Could he even remember? What did he know? What did he know about you?
"You live 'ere?" He suddenly asked, making you pause eating this time.
"Of course I do. What kind of question is that?" You asked, looking up at the man once more with an eyebrow raised before pushing off of the counter and tossing your empty bowl in the sink. You quickly rushed away from the kitchen, Logan watching you as you grabbed your winter coat from the hook and shrugged it on.
"Where ya goin'?" He asked as you slid on your gloves and grabbed your old messenger bag.
"Out to grab more wood for my furnace and fireplace." You answered simply. "It'll take a bit. So, if you're not here when I get back, I'll understand. But you should at least stay until the snow dies down and I can get you a ride into town."
Logan pursed his lips, finishing off his beer before speaking, "'nd ya think ya can trust me? Some stranger?" He asked as you made your way to the back door, shuffling your boots on.
You paused at the back door, hand on the door handle, "Yeah. I can trust you." You said confidently before turning to look at the burly man with a slight grin, "There's more beer in the fridge if you want it, and water too if you're still thirsty."
And with that, you opened and shut the door behind you, a waft of cold air hitting you in the face before you started walking along the thick snow to the side of your cabin.
~~~
"Logan! Could you help me in the kitchen for a moment!?" You called out aimlessly in the cabin from the said kitchen, hands covered in dough and flour.
Needing the dough, you smiled as you heard the familiar heavy footsteps make their way to you. Logan huffed, pulling his hands from his jeans pockets as he made his way over. "Wha' do ya need me fo'?" He grumbled, leaning against the counter. 
You rolled your eyes playfully, gesturing to the bag of flour on the counter beside the both of you, "Could you pour me some of that? I miscalculated how much I was going to need."
Logan grunted, grabbing the bag and dumping a small pile onto the dough, "That good?" He asked and you smiled with a nod.
"Yep! Perfect, thank you, Lo." You replied, smiling up at him as he stepped back, eyeing you curiously.
"What're ya makin'?" Logan asked, peering over your shoulder at what you were doing.
You grinned lightly, "Pie dough." You stated, glancing up at him.
"Pie dough?" He asked, "What kind of pie?"
"Cherry."
He stared at you, his eyebrows furrowed. "No kiddin'?"
"Yup." You giggled, grinning brightly at the man. "Didn't I tell you about it last night?"
Logan shook his head, "Nah, ya didn't mention it. Didn't say a thin'."
"Well," You began, "I'm making cherry pie. It'll be ready for dessert tonight. Just have to make it, bake it, and give it enough time to cool down a bit." You glanced up at him before finishing, "Wanna help me with this?"
Logan huffed, "I don't know… I ain’t good at bakin’." He began, watching as you tried to blow a couple of stray hairs from your face, "I was goin' to go out and get more wood for the fire." He answered, bringing his hand up to brush the stubborn hairs away from your face and behind your ear, making your face heat up as you smiled sheepishly up at him.
"We already have enough firewood in here to last us a few more days, Lo." You laughed out, looking back down at the dough on the counter.
"Fine. But ya owe me a beer," Logan answered, pouring a bit more flour over your dough before you could ask him to do it "And an extra slice of the pie." 
Your smile widened, chuckling lightly, "It's not like you take the beer anyway." You teased as Logan scoffed softly, rolling his eyes. "But, you may have an extra piece, maybe three pieces, since you're helping me and all."
"Fine by me," Logan muttered, "Whaddya want me to do?"
"Oh, uh, could you cut me up some of those cherries, and make sure the pits are out of them? Cherry pits have amygdalin."
“Amy-wha’ now?” Logan asked, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a beer.
“Amygdalin.” You corrected, “It’s what’s in cherry pits. Our body converts it into cyanide.” You answered as Logan took in what you were saying, his lips just pressed onto the glass rim of the beer bottle as he paused.
Logan hummed deeply before finally taking a sip of his drink, grabbing the see-through bag of pre-washed cherries with one hand. Glancing over at him briefly, you couldn't help but smile. It had been a little over a month since you found Logan in the snow. And the past month had been pretty amazing. After the initial awkwardness passed, Logan became really nice to talk to and even began to become a little fun to be around, though he was still quiet and kept to himself for the most part.
The only thing that ever seemed to truly change was when he would wake up in the middle of the night screaming from inside his guest bedroom. The first time it happened, you had rushed over to his room across from yours and came face to face with a set of claws. He didn't hurt you, but he apologized to you as if he did. He didn't really talk to you much after the first nightmare, and it took you a mighty long time to get him to open back up to you again. Though he was rather stubborn, so were you, and with a lot of reassurance, you finally cracked him out of his shell enough for him not to run away into the snowstorm. And after a long conversation by the fire, and with warm coffee filling your stomachs, you finally got some of his story. 
And though you feared that he was going to leave you, Logan stayed.
And the longer he stayed, the more you began to fall for him. Under that gruff exterior, Logan was actually a softie. A sarcastic, sarcastic, softie. It was one of the many things you loved about him. And you were sure that he might've felt the same, or at least something close to it. From lingering glances and the less-than-accidental touches, he was certainly getting close to you, or closer than he usually let himself get to anyone. He had thought about leaving, in the middle of the night, or in the early morning before you woke up. But if Logan had left, he would’ve felt guilty, leaving you all alone, only for you to wake up and not find him there. That tension was there. And that fear of accidentally hurting you was still there. And it scared him. It scared him at how close he was actually getting to you.
"Bub," Logan called out, making you jump slightly and look up at him as you snapped out of your daydreaming. Logan stared down at you, his eyes narrowed slightly, "Are ya okay?"
You nodded slightly, wiping the flour off the best you could before going over to wash them in the sink, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just lost in thought."
Logan watched you carefully, "What 'bout?" He asked and you tilted your head slightly as you thought.
"Hmm… Nothing really... Uh, it happens when I bake." You mutter sheepishly, reaching out for the dish towel on the oven handle only to find it right in front of your face, in Logan's hand. Giving him a thankful smile, you take the small towel, drying your hands off. "Thank you, Logan. Are those cherries ready?" You asked, looking over past his figure to take a look at the cherries he directed for the pie.
"They're ready," He answered, grabbing your attention again, "There's somethin' buzzin' around in that pretty head of yours."
"Hm?" You hummed, raising a brow curiously. "Somethin’ buzzin’ around?" You repeated questioningly with a smile.
Logan chuckled dryly, stepping closer to you, smirking, "Don't play coy with me, Y/N. Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"
You flushed lightly, biting your bottom lip and shifting your weight uncomfortably under his gaze. Your heart fluttered lightly at his closeness. He looked so gorgeous today. Hair all clean from a fresh shower, washed-out jeans, and in his new flannel that you bought him. And that look upon his face, eyes narrowed playfully, filled with mirth; the chocolate brown speckled with hints of green. And that grin, encompassed by his freshly-trimmed beard. Why did he have to be so handsome... And smell so nice? And how did he shape his hair in that way, all cute and pointy? It truly fascinated you. 
"Uhhhh," You stammered intelligently, unsure of whether you should answer him. Or just keep thinking. Yeah, thinking sounded nice. Suddenly, you felt Logan's hands on either side of your body, your hands instinctively coming up to latch onto Logan's shoulders as he picked you up and onto the flour-free counter. "Logan..." You breathed out in slight shock and surprise. His hands wrapped around your waist, standing between your knees.
"If ya don't wanna talk, ya don't have to." He murmured lowly, his dark eyes scanning your features, making you shift in your seat slightly under his intense gaze. “I ain’t gonna force you to talk if ya don’t wan’ to.”
"And let me guess, it'll help if I talk about it?" You questioned with a chuckle, shaking your head slowly.
"It might." He answered confidently, nonchalantly.
You gave him a look, crossing your arms over your chest, "And what if I was just daydreaming? Is it so wrong to daydream?" Unable to stop the corners of your lips from twitching.
"Depends. Do ya daydream 'bout me?" Logan asked in response and you sighed exasperatedly, shrugging your shoulders slightly.
"Do I daydream about you, Lo?" You asked yourself as if you were thinking it over. "I don't know. What would you think if I did?" You then asked, gaining the courage to make eye contact. 
Logan raised a brow, his grin widening. "I'd be flattered, bub." He answered, as he watched you roll your eyes playfully.
"You would." You agreed, giving him a teasing grin.
"I probably would tease ya a bit." He continued, "Daydreamin' 'bout me and all."
"You would." You repeated, lowering your voice slightly with slight annoyance, glancing off to the side, right at your unfinished pie. You really needed to finish that pie… Maybe in the end you’d have enough leftover dough for smaller pies… That’d be cute…
"I'd probably kiss ya." Logan then said.
"You would-" You paused, blinking before turning to look up at him, eyes wide and face flushed. "Wait, what?" You asked, a confused look forming on your face. Did he really say what you thought he said..?
Logan's smirk dwindled, "Do you not want me to?" He asked, and you quickly responded by shaking your head.
"No! I mean, yes! I mean... Um…" You trailed off, trying to think of a way out of this embarrassing mess. "Um… I'd kinda… Like that…" You mumbled the last part, trying to hide how embarrassed you suddenly felt. You never expected him to say anything like that.
"Really?" Logan said, seeming genuinely surprised as he watched you nod. 
"Yup." You replied quickly, hoping that he wouldn't hear the faint squeak in your voice.
"You sure, bub?" He questioned. "Because, if this is gonna make you uncomf-"
Rolling your eyes, you uncrossed your arms, "Oh, shut up and kiss me, Logan." You growled, grabbing the collar of his flannel, and pulling him towards you, pressing your lips harshly against his own, making him pause for a moment before kissing back. Your hands went from his collar to tangled in his hair, tugging gently, while his grip on your hips tightened slightly. His fingers slid a bit under the hem of your shirt, burning against the small portion of your cool skin that he had found at your waist. After a few moments, you pulled back, panting slightly. "You taste like cherries." You muttered breathlessly.
"I may have snuck some when ya weren't lookin’." He grinned a toothy grin, looking down at you mischievously.
You chuckled slightly. "What am I going to do with you?" You commented, feeling his warm fingers brush through your hair as they rested on the nape of your neck before he leaned forward, capturing your lips once more.
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