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lauraneedstochill · 1 year

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Make a move

summary: you think Aemond is too arrogant to woo you, but he's got some tricks up his sleeve. pairing: Aemond Targaryen x F!Reader words: ~ 6000 warnings: a bit of bickering and teasing, it gets slightly heated (Aemond has a praise kink, but I doubt anyone is surprised), mostly it's just silly fluff

author's note: this was inspired by "Crazy, stupid, love", particularly the scene where Emma kisses Ryan (one of my favorite on-screen kisses!) and everything that follows. I recently rewatched the movie and had an idea for this story. it's not smth I would usually write, but I couldn't get it out of my head (also, I may or may not have a thing for men's hands... you've been warned)

> English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes

You keep mindlessly tapping your fingers on the wooden table, your cup of wine untouched. You don't really notice the movement, too wrapped up in your thoughts, until your friend Margaret sneers.

"If you don't stop, I might bite your hand off," she says, sitting across the table.

"Then I'll use the other one," you huff but pause your fidgeting. "Better bite my head off, it will do us both more good."

"But I like your head very much," she pouts. "Is this about Thomas again?"

You groan, hiding your face in your hands and thinking back to the conversation you had earlier today with said man. Your emotions are a mix of annoyance and embarrassment as you can't stop thinking about his words.

"He said the meeting will be of great importance. What if he...? You know," you mutter, and Margaret huffs.

"I hope he won't."

"Hey, you are supposed to be my friend!" you playfully pinch her hand, and she fakes a gasp.

"I am your friend. And as your friend, I think you deserve way more than that sad excuse of a man," her face gets serious for a second, and you feel your smile waver.

"Mar, you know I don't have much of a choice," you breathe out, and your heart sinks at the thought. "He isn't that bad, really. He's always been kind to me."

"Sounds like every girl's dream," she rolls her eyes. "And you want to settle down for a kind man? Nothing else?"

"What do you think my options are? Please, enlighten me since I'm clearly missing something," you cross your arms on your chest. You know she's right and she means good, but your frustration gets the best of you.

Luckily, Margaret catches it and gives you a sympathetic smile.

"All I'm saying is that for as long as I can remember you've always dreamt of something more," she extends her hand across the table and lightly squeezes yours. "We've been friends since we were little kids, and you are the most loving person out of everyone I know. Should I remind you who taught me how to dance? Protected me against my idiot brothers?" you giggle at the memory. "You've got an adventurous spirit and a heart of gold. You deserve an epic love story," there's a hint of sadness in her voice.

For a minute you sink into your thoughts again.

"And you think Thomas is not the one?" you sigh.

"He's epically boring at best," Margaret takes a sip out of her cup. "I know he's not the one — and you do, too."

"My parents approve of him," you try to argue, but she's quick to object.

"They only care about your approval. And they mistakenly took your lack of protest for it," Margaret gives you a gloomy look.

"You are aware that I can't wait forever, right? I'm not getting any younger."

"Nor smarter," she snickers.

"Not everyone is lucky to meet the love of their life at the age of 12," you frown. Margaret and Jamie got married three years ago, but they have been betrothed for seven prior to that.

"Fair," she beams, and you can't stay irritated for long. They are still ridiculously in love with each other, and you are really happy for her. You just wish to feel that, too. You crave that indescribable feeling of longing and wanting and caring for someone else — and being loved just as much in return.

"Maybe the concept of love is overrated," you ramble. "It was easy to believe in when I was a kid but... As I'm growing older, it's getting harder to cling to hope, I guess. And I'm trying to make an effort and meet new people and... to show just enough character to not scare them away," you quote your mother. "Yet all of them just... Make me feel nothing. At all. And I...," you realize that Margaret isn't listening, her gaze is on something else behind your back. "Hey, I'm pouring out my heart of gold," you hiss, and her sight shifts to you. Before you can question her behavior, she informs:

"Someone's been keeping an eye on you."

"Margaret, I'm trying to have a serious conversation about my future," you fight the urge to turn around.

"Maybe this is your future!" she winks, and you grunt at her silliness.

"We are in a tavern out of all places! I'd rather take a kind man as my betrothed than a drunk one," you're about to scold her, but your friend's eyes go wide.

"His hair," her voice is barely above the whisper. "I can make out the strands of silver," Margaret slightly leans towards you. "You know what that means?"

"That you had too much wine? Maybe we should call it a night," you suggest, but your friend protests.

"Sit down!" she shushes. "He's coming over here," Margaret puts on a smile that looks painfully forged. The never-ending chattering of people around you makes your head hurt, and you're too tired to play along.

"Mar, it's been a long day, and the last thing I want is to waste my time entertaining some man's arrogance and...," you don't get to finish because he interrupts your train of thought.

"What if a man entertains you?" his voice is low and cocky. You close your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. You don't want to make a scene in a public place so you pull yourself together, thinking that you can talk your way out of this ridiculous situation.

But when you turn to him, your eyes meeting his, your plan is suddenly forgotten.

He's taller than you, a black cloak covering most of his body and his head, so your attention is naturally drawn to his face. He wears an eyepatch, and you look over his sharp features — his prominent nose, high cheekbones that flow down to the curved contour of lips, plump and alluring. Margaret was right about the hair, but she failed to mention the color of his eye. Taking that into account, it's not hard to guess that he's a Targaryen. Which means that he definitely is arrogant.

Well, two can play that game.

You ignore his question and pointedly don't stand up in his presence:

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

"I believe the pleasure is all mine," he's only looking at you.

"We've just met, you should not jump to conclusions," you feel Margaret kicking your leg under the table but dismiss her warning.

"Sharp tongue," he notes.

"Will this be a problem?" you challenge him.

"On the contrary," it sounds like he's actually enjoying it.

It's tricky to read his intentions. But when his gaze is concentrated on you, it makes you feel like there's no one else in the room, and that sensation is thrilling.

"What brings you here, if I may ask?" you press, trying to ignore the unknown feeling creeping up on you.

"It's a nice tavern, wouldn't you say so? Since you are here, too."

"No, I mean what brings you to our table. There are plenty of others you could've graced with your presence".

"Something must've caught my eye," he says, and you see a glint of a smile on his lips.

"Some thing? Well, the interior isn't very eye-catching if you ask me. But we might have to disagree on that."

"You aren't very agreeable, it seems."

"That's what servants are for, and I'm not one," you're being defiant yet it doesn't bother him.

"Please, do tell me more about yourself," he swiftly pulls up a nearby chair and sits right next to you, his eye never leaving your face.

"Should you pull another one? For your ego, since it takes quite a lot of space."

He squints at your words, and the corners of his mouth turn into a grin.

"I think we have that in common," he bites back, but there's no anger in his voice. If anything, the man looks curious, and you have to admit that you don't take offense at his wit.

"Are there any other far-reaching conclusions that you managed to come up to?" you turn your body to him, so now you two are opposite each other.

"I only got here a few minutes ago. But I am a great observer should you give me a little more time."

"Am I supposed to take your word for it? You are not as convincing as you think," you impugn, so he pauses briefly.

"You don't trust people easily, do you? How's that for an observation," his voice gets quiet, but his gaze is piercing.

"Men," you correct him. "I don't trust men."

"Any of them dared to break your trust?" he gets a little closer, and you instinctively gravitate toward him.

"That would've required them to gain my trust first," you retort.

"And what would it take for me to do so?"

"Do you expect me to make it easy? That's not very observant of you," your grin matches his own.

"Nothing good comes easy," he murmurs, and you involuntarily lay your eyes on his lips. "But I expect it to be worth it."

You feel a pull toward him, something that's hard to describe but oh so natural to give into. His confidence isn't intimidating but rather attractive, and you can't help but notice how his gaze warms up your whole body. He makes you feel wanted without even doing anything.

But then you think of Thomas. Of the upcoming meeting and your future that depends on it. And you know you can't throw it all away for some silly conversation with a self-confident stranger. No matter how enjoyable it seems to be.

You bite your lip and look away from him.

"That's enough entertainment for today," you put some distance between you two. When you give him a quick glance, you catch a shadow of disappointment on his face.

"Didn't take you for a quitter," the blond comments.

"You should manage your expectations."

"Maybe I should manage yours," he has some nerve.

"That would be very time-consuming," you suddenly realize that he's sitting in your way, and it looks like he isn't going to move.

"Are you in a rush?"

"I am" — "She isn't," you and Margaret say at the same time. You feel your cheeks heating up as you give her a death stare.

"Has anyone told you that you look charming when you are embarrassed?" he remarks, and you want to wipe the smirk off his face. Preferably with your lips. You mentally scold yourself and push that thought away.

"Does this usually work for you?" you get up, thinking of a way out.

"You tell me," he leans back on his chair with a shit-eating grin on his face, clearly aware that he's blocking your exit.

"Cornering women in taverns is your way of flirting?" you think how to distract him, but nothing springs to mind. "And then what, you just drag them into your man cave?"

"They come voluntarily," it looks like your words struck a chord, but he keeps up the facade of indifference. "I happen to live nearby," he notes casually.

"We both know that's not exactly true," you scoff with a tilt of your head. You are positive that the walk to the castle will take at least thirty minutes.

"Want to bet?" he sits up straight.

"And what do I get out of this?"

He looks you up and down before answering:

"Me."

He's pushing his luck at this point.

You glance around and take note that the tavern is packed with people, and no one is paying attention to you. You also realize that Margaret already sneaked out and is standing at the door. She raises an eyebrow with a silent question, as if asking what are you going to do.

That's when you decide you can push some boundaries, too.

Your eyes are back on the man in front of you. Without giving it a second thought, you step closer to him.

"Was that supposed to make me weak in the knees?" you whisper, and his face expression melts into an amused one. Seizing the moment, you yank your dress up and throw a leg over him. He immediately looks down at the exposed skin of your thigh, his mouth is slightly agape as he's now sitting between your legs. You see him tensing up, his fingers clenching into fists as if he's fighting the urge to put his hands on you. You think that if he does, you're not going anywhere. You wouldn't want to go anywhere — the realization makes you tremble, and you know that you don't have much time.

You boldly place your hand on his shoulder, pressing him back onto the chair.

"I hate to break it to you, but you are not that impressive," you say, throwing your other leg over him and successfully moving away.

When you get to the door, the look on Margaret's face is priceless. You grab her by the arm and drag her outside in a hurry, merging into the crowd of passers-by.

"I need you to explain what the h...," she starts, but you interrupt her.

"Please, don't," you snarl. "Don't say anything, just give me five minutes."

You can't even explain to yourself what happened back there and why you did that. You think of his gaze roaming over your body, the depth of his voice and the curves of his lips. You tell yourself that you need to get him out of your head as soon as possible. You fail miserably.

One week later, you're dining with Thomas at his house, and yet your mind wanders back to the arrogant one-eyed man. Aemond, as you've learned — and it wasn't that you wanted to, but fate had other plans.

And by fate, you mean Margaret.

Once her five minutes were up, she couldn't stop talking. By the time you came home, you got his whole backstory — the second-born son of the King, has two brothers and two sisters, rides the biggest dragon in the world. Overly confident, stubborn, wears an eyepatch because he doesn't want to scare the ladies of the court. Usually doesn't talk much.

Unlike Thomas who gathered his whole family and can't stop blabbing. You struggle to participate in their conversation, giving polite smiles left and right. You don't know what to expect of the evening, and it makes you nervous. And not in a good way. All of a sudden the possibility of marrying Thomas doesn't seem to be the best.

From the corner of your eye, you catch him standing up, clearly readying himself for a speech. He has a manner of pursing his lips every time he's agitated, and it looks weird. That's also how it felt when he kissed you, which is probably the reason you haven't done much kissing after that. You wonder what it's like to kiss Aemond. Just thinking of it makes your heart rate speed up, and you nervously gulp half a cup of wine.

"I gathered all of you today to make an important announcement," he starts his pompous monologue, "that may not come as a surprise to some of you."

You cautiously look at the door.

"But, as of recently, I received inspiration to change the course of my life. And I decided to devote myself to the service of Gods".

You nearly choke on your drink. In all the years you've known Thomas, he's never been to a chapel once.

"And I wanted to grant you this privilege to be the first ones to know."

You've got to be kidding me. You wait for any other announcements — literally anything else — but Thomas goes back to chattering, also accepting pointless congratulations. It takes you ten painfully long minutes to get a chance to talk to him alone.

"May I have a word?" you inquire, and the two of you move to the far end of the room.

"It's about your speech," you clarify. "It might sound silly, but I thought that you were planning... Um," you're trying to formulate your concerns. "I was wondering, how would you describe our relationship? Or the prospect of it, I should say," you give him a tight smile.

"Oh," his face pales slightly.

Your facial expression mirrors his. "Oh"?

"I am actually glad you asked," he awkwardly takes your hands in his, and you notice how sweaty his palms are.

"You know, Y/N, you've been a great companion of mine," his voice is as weak as his smile. "And I am forever grateful for those moments that we shared as they only brought me joy," his hands feel like jelly, and you don't want to hold them. Like, ever.

"But now that I'm choosing to follow my destiny," you do your best to suppress a chuckle at his dramatic phrasing. "I decided that... I need some time to figure out how I feel. About us."

You look at him, dumbfounded, his words sinking in.

"You need... some time?" you drawl, feeling an emotion bubbling up in your chest. You are not sure what it is. "You? Need to think about us?" you repeat, and he nods, his brows furrowed at your reaction.

There's a moment of silence, and then you hear yourself laughing. You can't control it as you're overcome with emotion, your laughter only growing stronger, to the point of you tearing up a bit. The emotion is relief. There's no way you'll ever marry this man.

"I am the one who should be glad, Thomas," you shake his hand while he seems wildly perplexed, all of his guests staring at you. "Thank you for your honesty, really. I hope you will be successful in all your endeavors, marriage included."

He opens his mouth to say something, but you already turned around.

"Y/N? Where are you going?!"

You stop for a second, your thoughts rushing back to the conversation with Margaret. To that evening in the tavern.

"I have a meeting, it's of great importance," you say and quicken your pace. You reach the tavern when it's already getting dark, the weather is cloudy, and your coat is wet in the light drizzle. You walk in a daze as you're torn between being excited and anxious. There is a chance that Aemond won't be there. That he doesn't remember you. That he's with someone else. That he had a change of heart. That he...

You spot him almost immediately after you walk in.

Coincidentally or not, he's sitting at the exact same table you were at the first time you met. You stay still as his eye absentmindedly wanders around the room and then lands on you. Aemond stands up — way too quickly — and you see a well-known grin growing on his face. Your eyes dart to his lips, and the question pops up in your head again.

You feel the pull — and before you can think, your body follows it.

He keeps his gaze on you, his brows rising at the speed of your approach. You cover the distance in a heartbeat, your hands reaching his face, and he slightly flinches, probably because your fingers are cold from being outside. And then you stand on your tiptoes and crash your lips onto his without any hesitation.

He gasps, surprised and frozen for a moment. It takes just a couple of seconds for him to melt into the kiss, and his hands are instantly on your waist, pulling you closer to him. Aemond's lips are way softer than you anticipated — and it's the only thing on your mind. His mouth on yours, warm and exploring, the slow pacing of the kiss that leaves you lightheaded and yearning for more.

He presses your body into his, lifting you up with ease, and your feet leave the ground. You tug his hood further down so it covers most of your face, too, and then you slide your thumb up the sharp line of his jaw. His tongue runs over your lower lip, and you feel a wave of heat rising in your stomach.

You pull away before you can take it too far.

"You remember me?" you ask him, panting.

He hums, his eye focused on your lips.

"Still believe that nothing good comes easy?" you mimic his words, but he ignores your jesting.

"Definitely," Aemond looks you in the eyes, keeping his hands on your waist.

"Is the bet still on?"

"Yes," the corners of his mouth curl.

"Lead the way, then." By the time you reach the castle, the rain is pouring in full force, and your clothes are drenched. The two of you rush through the streets, your hands intertwined, and it feels like it only takes about ten minutes before you sneak into his chambers, both out of breath and giggling.

Only when you take a look around the unfamiliar settings, it suddenly dawns on you that you are all alone with a man you barely know, and your bravery starts fading away.

Whether Aemond notices the change in your mood or not, you can't tell, but he respectfully keeps his distance.

"You need to get out of these," he points at your coat and dress. "They're soaking wet."

"Is this your way of trying to get me naked?" you eye him suspiciously, making Aemond scoff.

"I just don't want you to catch a cold," he honestly states. "I'll fetch you a shirt of mine." Sensing your doubts, he adds: "Don't worry, it's long enough."

He brings you the shirt and politely turns away, going to the other end of the room to light the fireplace. On his way there, he removes the cloak and the jacket, his upper body only covered by the same piece of clothing he gave you. You watch him carefully, noting the movement of his back muscles as he bends down.

The sparkling glow of fire brings you back to reality, and you hastily remove your clothes, leaving the undergarments on, which are luckily dry. You put on his shirt, and it barely reaches your knees, but the material feels nice and comfortable. While Aemond is still busy with the fire, you glance over his room.

It's spacious and simply furnished, and your attention is drawn to a couple of shelves nearby. You look at the tightly packed rows of books, some of the hardcovers are worn out from old age. You catch the familiar naming and pull one of them out, gently flipping through the pages.

"You take interest in philosophy?" his voice startles you. You missed the moment he came back, and when you take your eyes off the book, you see him leaning on the nearest shelf, looking at you inquisitively.

"I do, indeed," you confess. "And I read this one so many times, my own copy pretty much fell apart."

"You can take mine," Aemond offers.

You notice that despite his cockiness, his presence is actually very calming. Everything is easy with him — striking up conversations, making jokes, flirting. Taking his hand in yours, running in the rain. Kissing.

Your heart skips a beat, and you sheepishly move on to another topic:

"Shouldn't you change as well?" you refer to his shirt, but he shakes his head:

"No need."

"Oh, was it the Targaryen's dragon blood that helped you dry up?" you tend to jest when you're nervous, and right now is no exception.

"My cloak is too thick for the water to soak through. But I like your version, too," his lips ripple into a smile.

You can help but smile back: "Thank you for the shirt."

"It looks really good on you," the words smoothly roll off his tongue and ignite the familiar burning deep in your core. He keeps his gaze on your face, your eyes locking for a moment.

You look away first, letting out a timid laugh:

"I must admit, I like this way of flirting better," you place the book back. "But you can cut it short. What's your move?"

"My... move?" Aemond gives you a quizzical look.

"Yes, your big move. Show me," you request eagerly.

"Don't know what you're talking about," he looks down, his aplomb faltering.

"What do you usually do to impress a lady?"

"I don't really need to do anything," Aemond shrugs.

"What a humble individual you are," you chuckle and give him a minute to think.

"So what is it?"

"I just told you...," it seems like he's trying to dodge the topic, which only sparks your curiosity.

"Oh, come on! You guys always have a move. Let me guess, you speak to her in High Valyrian? Men like to talk big," he snorts. "No? Win her over with your...," you gesture at his bookshelves, "...precious collection? Although it's a risky move because what if she's not into reading, that would be awkward" and then it hits you. "Wait, it's the dragon, isn't it? You show her your dragon? Got to make sure it's well-fed, though, otherwise you'll have a date with a roasted —"

"It's my sword," he cuts you off, and you swear you can see him blushing at the confession.

"Um, your sword? Is this a metaphor for someth…"

"Gods, no. I mean the actual sword. The one you grip with your hand and poke people with."

"That description didn't help," you tease, and he groans.

"You know what I mean," Aemond gives you a pointed look, but his face flushed pink, and you can't take him seriously.

"I do, you just look really cute when you are embarrassed," you say cheekily, which makes him huff.

"My apologies. Please elaborate on the sword. How does it work?"

Aemond hesitates but then realizes that you will never let it go, so he gives in:

"I bring my training into the conversation. And then I... show them," he talks with his hands when he's uncomfortable, and you find it endearing.

"And that's it?"

"Pretty much," Aemond nods.

"They watch you train, and that's what does it for the ladies?"

"I don't know why, I never gave it much thought."

"Well, someone should. Can't imagine it ever working on me."

You feel a sudden shift in the air as Aemond slowly looks up at you. You're standing a couple of meters apart, and he's yet to initiate anything, but once again, it only takes a look from him for you to feel a familiar flare-up of the tantalizing desire.

"I'm not going to take you to the training yard in the pouring rain," he concludes.

"But it's not about the place, is it? Must be something about you," now you're the one champing at the bit to see what the fuss is all about.

"I don't have a sword on me."

"Opt for something smaller, I'm sure it will do," you hint at the dagger that you've seen him carry, and wait expectantly for him to agree.

Aemond reluctantly contemplates your suggestion, then sighs and goes to get his dagger which he left next to the cloak.

You wonder if the ladies are attracted to his competitive spirit. If they enjoy the feeling of danger they get at the sight of steel, the cold shine of it, the clang of swords. Or maybe it's the urge to take sides and root for the winner?

And then you see Aemond rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, — and your breath suddenly hitches.

The room is lit by fire, the warmth of it illuminating his skin, casting shadows that frame every muscle of his arms. He takes the dagger in one hand, the movement fast and honed, and your eyes follow it. You notice the scattering of his veins that go down his wrist and into his palm, the blue lines tightening with every swirl. The silver blade catches and reflects the light, but you're focused solely on his flexing muscles.

He's maneuvering the dagger with ease, almost carelessly, yet you know that every motion is well-practiced through years of training. His long fingers grip the hilt, revealing the sharp outline of his knuckles. The steel silently cuts through the air, again and again, but your eyes are glued to his hands. The way they move, the power that he holds in them. The things he can do with them, with his fingers. The way they will feel on your bare skin and in your... You swallow, letting out a shuddered breath.

"Are you weak in the knees yet?" his words bring you out of your trance, and you blink a couple of times, trying to shake the feeling off. Your body is so heated, you're surprised you're not sweating yet.

"Is this the point when the ladies throw themselves at you?" your voice is hoarse, and you take a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself.

Aemond stops his movements. You feel your skin tingling with anticipation, waiting for him to finish what he started, but he doesn't budge. For a short while, you're taken aback by the change in his demeanor — and the realization strikes you:

"Wait, how many ladies were here before me?"

"I never said I take them here," he puts the dagger back in its sheath, averting his gaze.

"But you told me that you do your... thing with the sword for them."

"In the training yard, with other people around us, yes."

"So then you just leave them all hot and bothered? Aemond, that is cruel," his actions confuse you, but while you're looking for an explanation, he turns back to you and finally meets your gaze.

"It would've been cruel to lead them on when I feel nothing for them," he reveals, and you discern the raw honesty in his words. And you know exactly what he means. It's the tiresome attempts to find someone who will spark your interest, to spot a connection, all of those efforts leading nowhere and making you feel like you're the one at fault. But you aren't — and he isn't, either.

Aemond looks almost ashamed of letting out something so personal, but you welcome the intimacy of this moment.

"I shall consider myself lucky, then," you say softly.

He gives you that same look that makes you feel like the world around you disappears.

"You are... something else," Aemond mumbles.

You guess that he isn't used to being straightforward about his feelings, nor does he know how to express his affection with words. You really, really want to kiss him again.

The boyish grin reappears on his face:

"Did you mean I left you all hot and bothered?" Aemond narrows his eye.

"I never said that," you smile coyly. "Maybe you should've tried a little harder."

"I happen to have some tricks up my sleeve," he takes a step towards you and, before you can ask for details, you feel his fingers on your ribs as he starts tickling you, and you immediately burst into laughter.

His touches are light, fingers grazing against your clothed skin as he subtly moves you further into the room until your legs bump into his bed. Losing your balance, you fall on it, your back met with the fluffiness of thick blankets. Aemond hovers over you, and you can't stop giggling, trying to wiggle away from his tickles.

Wrapped up in the moment, you make a careless move, your hand brushing up his cheek — and you suddenly see a bright gleam of blue on the right side of his face.

Aemond freezes at the spot, halting his actions, and momentarily flinches away. You are gawking at the sapphire, unable to form a coherent sentence.

He makes a move to fix his eyepatch, but you stop him.

"Don't," you catch his hand mid-air, your grip delicate but firm, and he doesn't fight it. You would've been surprised by your own quick reaction if only your mind wasn't completely occupied with the sight in front of you.

It looks like the gem absorbs all the light in the room, shimmering with various shades of blue. It's cut in a way to imitate a surface of an eye, the sides of the sapphire polished and blending into each other. There's a depth to it, bright sparkles drowning in a color that's close to black, and the spillovers are mesmerizing.

You bring your hand closer to his face, to the area that's been left covered and unloved, and touch the skin with the tip of your finger. He lets you.

"Wow," you breathe out, gently tracing his scar. "This is the most badass thing I've ever seen."

Aemond looks at you in disbelief, his eye fixed on your face, and his lips parted.

"...What?" he manages to ask.

"You look like a pirate. A really badass... sky pirate?" you suggest, and he lets out a light chuckle, still not entirely sure he believes you.

So you shamelessly continue:

"A pirate with his own dragon. The largest one in the Seven Kingdoms as I've heard," you can almost feel him swelling with pride. "He charms the ladies with his fighting skills — and has a gem for an eye? Incredibly irresistible," your index finger circles the area around his sapphire.

He listens attentively, holding his breath.

"A prince who is as good with his sword as he is with his wit, fond of reading and isn't averse to mischief. Any lady of the court would've been fortunate to get a hold of such treasure," you remove the eyepatch and tenderly cradle his face. "Yet I am the one who's been honored to see all of him," you glance from the bright gemstone to his eye and back. "Honestly, it's kind of hard to pick which one I like more...," you're barely able to notice him sharply lower his head, and your words die down.

Without a warning, Aemond covers your lips with his, the intensity of the kiss pulling the air out of your lungs right away. He's been holding back the first time, but he isn't now, and the passion sets you ablaze. His tongue slips into your mouth, easily tangling with yours, and you moan at the contact. Aemond skilfully unbuttons your shirt, and the second his fingers touch your skin, you shiver, the quivering sensation washing over you. His hands slowly slide down your ribcage, tracing the curves of your body, making your back arch, your chest flush against his, your heart pounding. He contours the bend of your hips, then presses his palms there, his touches rough, claiming, burning. You move your fingers up the base of his neck and run them through his hair, and he releases a shaky sigh. Aemond relishes in the feeling of your compliance, the fervor of it, your body being so needy and welcoming, until you are both gasping for air.

"Was that impressive enough?" he rasps, and you look up at him through your lashes, spellbound and breathless. His pupil is dilated, gaze clouded with lust, your noses adjoin.

"Yeah-yes. Yes, very," you utter, at a loss for words.

"Good. Because I'm about to outdo myself," he tightens his grip on your thighs, picking you up and moving into the middle of the bed. Your head barely touches the pillow when his lips are on yours again.

🔥 my masterlist

#aemond targaryen x reader #not gonna lie the main reason I'm finally posting this is because a few ppl on AO3 liked it and it gave me a *little* boost of confidence #kinda??? I mean it also took me a few days of trying to convince myself to post it on tumblr #(also I've been staring at this draft for 4 hours)#my confidence is non-existent lmao #my stuff #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond x y/n #aemond x you #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond one eye #oh god how many tags can I come up with #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfics #aemond targaryen fics #hotd fanfiction

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red-moon-at-night · 11 months

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An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability

Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.

I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.

Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives.

So, without further ado... let’s get into this!

Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!

Disability: some brief (important) historical context

It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.

For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing.

I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.

Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:

“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”

— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126

This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.

SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.

Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.

The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?

Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters

Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!

Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater.

The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.

Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.

What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:

I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.

You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.

I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:

Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone.

This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.

Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):

Anyways, onto the next point:

Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?

So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.

I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.

The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.

For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society.

This is his means of escape from drowning.

However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:

The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier.

There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention.

Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?

Oh, right.

Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.

That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:

The Necklace

So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).

I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:

Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.

But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.

There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.

Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.

His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.

Speaking of that...

So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award

This fucking fish tank.

Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.

From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.

For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.

These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.

Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.

They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.

For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...

This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.

How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.

There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:

Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”

Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.

So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.

I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?

(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)

So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:

This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.

We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:

I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...

He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.

Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?

That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.

One Last Observation

I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.

His clothing here:

Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.

But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.

This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.

As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.

The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.

I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.

#milgram #haruka sakurai #analysis #weakness #all-knowing and all-agony #symbolism #disability #*drops this onto the fandom like a ton of bricks* hi i'm new here pleasure to meet u #oh man I finally finished it... this is a very (and I mean a VERY) long post asdfghjkl #I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though! I got most of the things I wanted to say and point out down #believe it or not there was actually MORE I could've said but I think tumblr may have crashed on me if I did that lmao #particularly to do with Weakness as I focused more on AK&AA here. but anyways #I love how morally grey everyone is in this series! It makes for some really fun analysis!#it's so so nice seeing a disabled character in such a position too and not just 'is a cinnamon roll' or 'the devil reincarnate' yknow #I debated leaving in the real-world history stuff but I think it sets the tone of my analysis pretty well and shows the importance of--#--haruka's disability not as a justification of his actions but as a vital backdrop to his environment and struggles

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