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freemindedspirit · 10 months

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your readings are so great tbh it’s nice to see people having such a connection with the universe! Do u think you could do an energy check on the members?

Thank you !! You're so nice !! I still have a lot to learn tbh, but im glad you love my readings !

As always,

For entertainment purposes only.

Jin:At the same time, he sees the military as a break from his idol life, but he also want a break from the military lol.A lot of it has got to do with him having to fight his nature.He's naturally a lot more laid back and fun than the circumstances mostly let him be.I think one of his past investments is growing while he isnt there, and the fruits are getting ready for whe he will come back.He is also torn between two options for a choice ( idk what tho).He is feeling out of touch with his purpose while understanding why this had to happen.It is helping him develop another side of himself, and he is learning to balance them.

NJ:He didnt want any cards, but hes saying he is thinking about things deeply.He seemed like i caught him off guard when he was in the middle of a reflection ?You know when people are trying to explain something to you but they are getting caught up in the cobwebs of their thoughts?Yeah, him rn.

Yoongi:OK so Yoongi teased me and dared me to do it with no cards.He said he is feeling quite peaceful and content/satisfied rn.It's the phase where the stage euphoria came down but youre not quite into post show blues yet.Just quiet, happy, calm, tranquil.Moving slowly, relaxed.I saw him going down a slow river sitting on a surfboard with his eyes closed.So yeah, nice.

Hobi:He seemed pretty excited to do the reading but the first card that came out was the Tower ??I think he is going through a very transformative phase but he is also really excited for it. A sense of oh finally.A lot of his fears and deep anxieties are coming down, he is cutting through them with a new sense of rationality and outspokenness(?) He is becoming less afraid of telling his truth and is not letting himself being held back and literally tied down by how other people see him.He is very strssed tho, and is using good old breathing techniques to relax. (Which kinda makes sense bc i feel like since the military his energy has been mostly quiet except for random burst of really wanting to talk, so i guess it is linked to his stress levels ?)

Jimin:I think he might have asked someone out recently and it went very well ?WHAT- PARK JIMIN GO BACK WITH YOUR 18+ STUFF NO-hm hm, so boy is having fun.In general, he is spending time on things and people he love, going out, learning new things, connecting or reconnecting with people, following where his passion and emotions lead him.He is also really enjoying having attention rn.

Tae:A part of him want to keep very private, but hes seeing around.As in learning things, discovering art he didnt know, a little imaginative.He has been hurt by public attention too much and wants to withdraw a little.He doesnt want ARMY to worry though, he just want us to understand he is human, and that would be hard on anyone. JK:Jk felt pumped up and talkative lol.So he learning to let things go and to find his joy in the things he has right now, he is learning to be happy.It is the end of a trial for him.He had many options and he thinks he picked right.It is the end of the phase.The next one might be the one where he meets his twin flame (if you have followed me for a while, you would know he insists on talking about them almost everytime lol).Their psychic link will strengthen like never before.He is in general quite happy with where he got in life and proud of himself for recent lessons he learned and went through

#bts tarot #jungkook tarot #yoongi tarot #hoseok tarot #namjoon tarot #seokjin tarot #jimin tarot #taehyung tarot

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nerves-nebula · 4 months

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Are you ever you ever insecure about your art? And could you explain you answer to that?

Venting to you now

Drawing has taken a lot of effort for me, more than usual recently. I started working on something I originally felt really passionate about. It's more common for me to very quickly give up or get bored so I was really excited to be able to post some artwork. But I ended up not liking the result and I'm not sure if I'm willing to try something else. I've given up on trying in a lot of parts of life to try and save energy to do something I thought I was passionate about (art) but I am still lacking the motivation. The reason I reason I really wanted to share it was because I'm terrible with self-motivation. If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.

It's not what art should be. I know it's value is like a person's. It's worth more than how someone reacts to it, right? But I can't apply that rule to myself. I should seek support from the people who 'know' and actually care about me, but I don't want their appreciation. I want some imagery status of a 'good artist' because that's what seems to give me dopamine.

I also wanted to mention how much I admire how open you are with your struggles. I want to be the same but I'm scared of people thinking less of me. I know that's dumb but I don't know what I'm good for if I can't make people happy. If I'm not going to be content with myself I want to not be a nuisance at least. I like to think that if I stopped caring about my impression on people, I'd be better off. But I'm scared that I'd have to learn to like myself. I don't like myself and I have no interest in liking myself. I don't see the point.

oh boy, this is gonna be a long one. also, don't take anything i say too seriously, i don't know your situation and I'm barely an adult. anyway, response under the cut

soo lately I'm less insecure about my art and more frustrated when things don't come out well. but i still post that shit !!! I'm still insecure if i'm doing, say, a project for homework, and i don't think i did as well as I could have, but in my personal artistic endeavors it's more about getting it done than it being perfect (for example, my webcomic! my motto is any comic made is better than no comic made and if people don't like that then it wasn't for them in the first place)

the thing about me is that drawing and art and stories is all i've ever had. it's my main form of interacting with the world. these days i make art the same way I live, which is to say in spite of wanting to kill myself. I would LIKE if my art was perfect, and i would LIKE to not be in pain. but i AM in pain and i have to live anyway, and my art ISN'T perfect but i'll make it anyway.

and i like when other people's art isn't perfect either, when it isnt super polished. I think that definitely helped. seeing artists whose work i fell head over heels for when it's never been more than sketches and a bit of shading. it really cemented in my mind that it isn't art being technically perfect that makes it worth while.

i've gotten a lot of people saying kind things to me, saying how much they enjoy my art and my blog in general. and though it doesn't always help, it sometimes inspires me to imagine the number of people who appreciate my stuff who might never mention it to me. I myself am used to lurking and not interacting very much (a habit I'm trying to change since I know artists & creators love feedback most of the time) i know it sucks to not know if anyone gives a shit for sure, but you really can't make that your only reason for doing art, cuz half the time you prolly wont even know if your art deeply affects people or not. it's fine to want that attention but you gotta have something else goin on too, at least I do.

i also know the fear of worrying that you'll lock yourself into something you don't want to do, or something you'll lose passion for. for me, I generally rotate a cast of characters & interests around for years a time before making significant progress. There were spans of times where I'd go years without thinking about loose stitches, but none of that time developing other stories & characters was wasted. it gave loose stitches enough time to properly cook, and the story is still developing under my hands as i draw it, influenced by my other stories and other characters.

it's ok to abandon something and pick it up again years later, or to never pick it up again at all. it's ok to hate the way something turns out but to keep making it anyway because you have to move forward (at least, I do)

moving forward despite not liking the original product is the only way to progress, I think. I don't super like a lot of the first pages of loose stitches but I'm still grateful that past-me posted them because that means present me is at page 76 !!

If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.

the problem with this mindset (in my opinion) is that some people aren't going to like your art and that's got nothing to do with the art itself. if you want to find people who go "oh, neat" then you have to keep posting until they see it. trust me, they're out there. like, i don't post for people who can't stand the idea of child abuse, i post to FIND people who want to interact with stories about child abuse the same way i do.

it would be insane to stop trying to find those people because someone else was disappointed or upset by my art. which isn't to say you gotta lock yourself into doing one thing, but that you gotta post what you care about, and people who also care will find it. posting fandom stuff with the same themes as your original art certainly doesn't hurt either, if you REALLY want to find those people faster.

art should be literally whatever. it's worth is literally whatever you want, it can be a big deal or not. i'm not sure what part of being a "good artist" gives your brain the Good Feelings juice but I'd investigate that feeling more and try to figure out the roots of it, cuz then you might actually be able to figure out what it is that motivates you. approval is nice, yes, but i like approval for things i enjoyed making even more.

i always find it amusing when people refer to my "struggles" if only because I don't really consider them that way. to me it's just like, a thing that happened that sucks. i don't consider myself "struggling" with it, even though I guess that's what's happening. also, let's be real here, it's not like I'm using my real name. this is an anonymous tumblr blog. though, my openess on here has actually lead to me making more art about it IRL so. eh.

anyway, lucky for you, you can stop caring about what other people think without necessarily liking yourself! for me, it's about spite (sort of). I don't like myself much more than I used to, I just decided I hated everyone else more haha. I still care what people think about me, and I'm still scared of what people might do to me, but I'm also not bending over backwards to please people i dislike. I just get annoyed at them instead.

i did this basically just by repeating it until it became true, lol. there's only so many times you can petulantly say "well fuck those guys anyway they suck" before it becomes your true first reaction.

at some point, i decided i needed to pick and choose who i wanted to please, because it can't be everyone. that's just literally not possible. so i looked at the kinds of people i liked and appreciated, and basically disregarded everyone else. it's the whole "don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from" thing (not sure where that comes from)

obviously you should probably try to internalize the idea that you even HAVE to be "good for something" but that's way easier said than done. i find it more useful to devote yourself to finding a few things (causes, people, philosophies, niche interests) instead of just general usefulness. because then you can form stronger relationships, be useful, AND not burn yourself out trying to please everyone.

take all this advice with a grain of salt though, I definitely need therapy and this Bitter Angry Defensive persona will probably need to be deconstructed soon... idk. i think it's outlived its usefulness to me but i'm not sure what to do next hahah.

sorry if none of this was helpful or the point. im not even sure why i wrote this much, i kind of just ramble sometimes. i hope you figure it out!

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts

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mireilol · 1 month

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Charisma.

Hey, everyone it's Mirei ... And this time there won't be any photos for this blog ... Mainly because I haven't had the motivation recently to take new photos(also out of my makeup wipes😂) but anyways I wanted to talk about charisma and things I have learned about it in my twenty eight years of life ...

I started developing great speaking skills as early as 14 and I've become so great at it that I am able to turn another human beings frown upside down ... Ive become aware that charisma is something not Alot of people have and not many people who do have charisma,use it for good ... My confidence birthed from having many friends in my circle back at school and my burning desire to start my own social media/blog ...

Evil.

Now,this made me sit in a corner of my own room ... Learning that so many of the people I used to look up to for years have used their charisma for pure evil ... A few evil things they have done was use their charisma to cheat their own fans out of their money/take fans money,Lie about certain life events for donations and persuade their lovers to do things they didn't originally want to do...

The fact that this charisma can manipulate a whole following or a someone who loves you wholeheartedly... Made me take a step back to look at my own self and check my intentions so far with this charisma I got ... Like ... " Have I ever used my charisma for evil before? " ... And shockingly ... I have ...

I remember when I turned sixteen I was so head over heels for this guy called Shon ... I won't spill the entire story to you all here in this Blogpost because it will be incredibly long but this guy did not like me from first glance because I wasn't his type of girl ... But I talked up a good game to him and pretended I was heavily into sports like him and his whole look on me changed ... He actually wanted to pursue a relationship with me now ...

I managed to keep up the phoney act for a few weeks till I broke down and told him the truth ... I just felt so horrible for lying to him and shortly after I came clean,he didn't want to talk to me ever again ... But looking back now I don't blame him ... I should have been honest from the start... Twenty Eight year old me shakes my head Alot today about that and I'm glad I had at least came clean.

Rambling.

So,I find I do this often and it can easily start to come out more of a cry for help and even offensive to people... I have done Alot of research myself on this and Alot of the answers I have discovered was it is a sign of depression ... Which isnt anything new for me,I have always been depressed growing up and coming to realize the truth about my family... I won't talk about all of the details but there has been Alot that has happened to me,my sister and pretty much all of my family that has left scars in our hearts and I do my very best to combat these scars by practicing being a good woman everyday....

I have felt a huge relief off of my shoulders from rambling... I feel like I can get Alot of things and topics off of chest and I can just be open to the people who do follow me and my life... I feel like I have a friend I can talk to and I'm learning now it is okay to talk to my audience and be open with them... When I was the audience meaning I did not host a social media account with content... I loved watching influencers talk about their day and share their life with me ... It's made me consider that type of content to do online too 🩷

Lovers.

So I am a twenty eight year old woman who loves men and can think and talk about men all day 🤣💗 ... I still got game when it comes to chit chatting with really hot guys ... It doesn't take me Alot of effort to get a mans attention especially the one I really want but I think the charisma is tone down now instead of running wild like when I was younger ... But please don't get the wrong idea because I feel like everything I just said above sounded like I'm " active " if you know what I mean 😓 ... I haven't done that yet ... But Ive been in relationships before ... I am also ok with the possibility of being single in my life too ... Because not everything goes your way in life and there are Alot of great things about being single 🩷 ... My charisma moving forward will be to put smiles on others faces and to keep my fans engaged with my content too 😚 ... I thank you guys again for having Alittle read of this,I enjoyed writing this one and I appreciate all of your lovely messages 💗

#tumblr #blog #blogger #bloggers #blogs #mireitouyama #girl #girls #mireitouyamaanimations #tumblrs

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frogsnbunnies0914 · 2 years

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hii, how are you? ☕ I love your writing style and the jjk content on your blog. could I request prompts with nanami kento? One that’s always left out + the only one that pays them any attention. Light kisses scattered across your lover's face down to their collarbone.

"the only one i want to pay attention to is you": nanami x gn!reader (18+ for nsfw/suggestive content!!)

prompts: one that’s always left out + the only one that pays them any attention, light kisses scattered across your lover's face down to their collarbone

content notes: kisses, hickeys, making out/getting teased in his car

an: hihi, im doing well, thank you for asking!! how are you doing, love? and hdsjfhkj youre so sweet, omg <3<3 you are always free to request! i hope you enjoy (this is not proofread) ^^ as a note, i havent written much nsfw stuff, so i apologize if the end isnt great. also i know you didn’t ask for nsfw content, so i hope this is okay, as it is what i thought of when i saw your prompt. i hope you enjoy!!

Nanami's head swivels around, looking for you in the crowded room. He had brought you to a work party, one where he figured you could mingle with his coworkers and the people they brought. If not, he didn't mind having you by his side the whole night. However, you had disappeared a while ago and he hasn't even caught a glimpse of you or an utter of your name. "Whatcha lookin' for, 'nami?" Gojo coos. Ah, of course. The reason he was looking for you in the first place. "My partner, not that it's any of your business."

"What, you'd rather spend time with them than lil' old me?" Nanami glares at the white haired man. "Yes, very much so. Now if you'll excuse me." Turning on his heel, Nanami walks away from the man who captured his attention. Gojo had recently fought a particularly nasty curse and felt it important to spread the information to the next person they would likely come to for exorcising it how he got inside the office building is something that still confused Nanami. This had taken much longer than your beloved anticipated, however, as you had wandered off and now he had to find you. He hoped to see you mingling, but no such luck. Some games were going on in the center of the room and the back of the room had a food table. Finally, he spots you near the janitor’s closet, holding a drink and looking at the crowd longingly.

“Having fun, my love?” Nanami questions. He chuckles as you jump before noticing the tears that had barely been forming in your eyes. His look of amusement quickly drops to one of concern. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“y/n...”

“...” You hesitate. “Kento, I don’t want to bother you, not at this party with--” his hand reaches for your face and cradles it. “Whatever it is, I’m here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” Although his glasses cover his eyes, you can hear the sincerity in his voice. “What’s wrong?” Finally, your tears grow larger and begin to fall. “I feel...I feel like I don’t belong here. Every time I try to play a game I get pushed out of the circles, every time I try to sit down and talk with someone they talk to someone else, I just feel so out of place, like I want someone to see me and talk to me but they see past me and walk through me.” At your heartbroken words, Nanami feels his stomach drop. He wanted you to come and have fun, not come to feel like less than you are. “Would you like me to spend more time with you? I didn’t mean to leave you alone like this.”

“No, it’s okay, you really should be paying attention to more important people like--”

“Sweetheart, the only one I want to pay attention to is you. You are the most important person in the room right now and it was never my intention to make you feel like less.” Slowly, he pulls your face closer to his as he wipes the tears away from your cheeks. “May I please show you how important you are to me?”

“I...” you bite your lip as he stops right before you meet his. Nanami’s eyebrow raises, awaiting your answer before continuing. “Please.”

--------(NSFW below!!!)--------

Although his car is more cramped than you would like, you appreciated that you could sit on his lap without fear that his coworkers would catch you. Small moans leave your mouth as he trails from your lips, down your jaw, behind your ear, and finally coming down your neck. After each kiss, he murmurs into your skin how much he loves you. As he begins to lightly suck the soft skin on your collarbone, your moans become more needy. “Please Kento, I need you.”

“And I need you more,” he mummers as he makes his way back up your face. Nanami catches your lips in his once more, this time more aggressive than the soft kisses on the way down to the parking garage. Your eyes close as you melt into the kiss. He can taste your tears still, despite having licked most of it off the first time around. While he distracts you by sliding his tongue into your mouth, one of his hands sneaks down your front and begins to softly rub his thumb against your sensitive area. You moan into his mouth before dropping your head into the crook of his neck. “K-ken...”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“F-feels good~” His heart quickens at your words, even moreso when you begin to grind on his lap. He lets out a soft groan of his own as you connect with his growing bulge, the friction slowly becoming unbearable. When he can’t take it anymore, he uses what little amount of self control he has left to stop his hand movements. Immediately, you look up at him in confusion and frustration, chest heaving from excitement. “Huh...?”

Nanami shows a soft grin. “That was just a teaser, my love. Now why don’t we head home so I can really show you how much you mean to me.”

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horce-divorce · 3 months

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I have hard boundaries for myself about how I use social media that I've followed for the last few years. Ever since I briefly left tumblr and tried twitter, I took so much psychic damage from that experience that I had to make new rules about how I use the internet. Setting app timers did nothing for me, so I compromised: im allowed to use social media daily to my heart's content (which I found isnt actually all that much)- as long as isn't the FIRST thing I open when I wake up.

For YEARS it was my habit to crack open my eyes and click into FB or Twitter or Insta before I even got out of bed. It was like this compulsive Need to Know What's Going On Out There. what did I miss while I was asleep? Never much, but always some new drama, some new political blunder, some new Person of the Day everyone was dunking on. I hated it, but I COULDN'T stop. I physically couldn't resist.

So lately I've tried to replace that habit with, just, something else. Anytime I feel the urge to click into social media, I try using another app instead. Usually it's a game (dvc has been great for me bc of the social feature, but just as often I'll open up my coloring book, wordscapes, or any other game that keeps me busy for 2 seconds and fulfills the "click button get dopamine" urge). Especially first thing in the morning. My brain needs a solid 2-3 hours of consciousness before I can handle social media.

A cool life hack I learned recently is that it's easier to get up in the morning if you do something you actually LIKE to do first thing in the day. it's done wonders for my mental health. I went from "ugh, morning again? It was literally morning yesterday," to feeling like Spongebob hopping out of bed going "IM READY!" every day. Clicking into social media was NOT something I was doing because I liked it. Gaming is something I do because I love it. I love checking on my dragons, it makes me feel HAPPY to have looked at them, i make new friends playing games bc we already have something in common (ive rarely made new friends on social media. I used to make friends ALL THE TIME playing games like neopets, roleplaying and posting on forums, and building little websites and things- ive even made a bunch of friends on tumblr. Never on FB, though). It's a world of difference getting up and checking on my animal crossing villagers, who fill me with glee and delight, vs looking at FB first thing in the morning and feeling bitter about all the people I know who aren't paying attention to me.

So anyway, this has worked SHOCKINGLY well for me? Usually just clicking another app and looking at it for a minute fulfills the urge to have clicked the FB button, or whatever, which then goes away- and I have sated my craving without pissing myself off, and without creating additional urges by going on social media. I have been using social media SO MUCH LESS since I started doing this and I've been feeling amazing for it. And it's not always games. I also use more practical apps like Bearable and Habitica. Sometimes I'll even click thru my photos or notes instead of clicking the social app.

This morning, I broke my habit. For the first time in weeks or maybe even months, I woke up and clicked FB and Insta first thing. I shared a post or two lately and I was hoping my friends had seen it, but I knew they hadn't even before I looked. 2 likes, no comments. I clicked into Instagram and saw a Reel from Kevin James Thornton, a comedian and whole media personality who has over 600k follows on Instagram alone, pleading with his existing fans to choose to check up on him and to sign up for his email list instead, because the algorithm only wants to hook new followers. The 600k existing ones aren't good enough. Gotta have that exponential growth or else our shareholders will be very cross with us!

I realized this morning what it is about FB that makes me so irate, the thing that creates additional urges to post my whole ass and pick fights and be as annoying as possible: because I hate feeling like I'm being ignored. And this is a feeling social media manufactures for you CONSTANTLY. You log on and ONLY see posts that are already popular, posts that are already "getting engagement." Everyone else is clearly online commenting and interacting with all this other stuff except for yours. Why aren't you good enough? Don't they like YOUR posts? Why are they ignoring you? What did you do wrong?

You can KNOW wholeheartedly that Facebook gives incentives to certain posts/posters and that it does the opposite with certain topics, especially socio-political ones. You can know that it's the algorithm refusing to show your posts, and not your friends ignoring you. But still, you have a page, people know how to find you- can't they come to your page to check? Did they forget you exist? Do they just not care? You can SEE they're online, and they can see YOU'RE online, so what's not clicking???

In me, at least, this WILDLY increases the urge to post something dramatic, incendiary, or outrageous just to get a response. OH, you guys don't like me when im being polite and quiet? You'll really hate me when I decide to be annoying on purpose!

Which then increases engagement, providing you with positive reinforcement for posting "controvertial" things, starting fights, posts that provoke people into responding... If you wont choose to interact with my posts? Fine. I'll make the urge fucking irresistible. A positive reinforcement for fighting and doing other unpleasant things we don't like, and supposedly don't want to use social media for, and yet.

It's not merely that posting misinformation and getting in fights is profitable to these platforms. Why is it profitable? Because the more you engage with (read: fight) random strangers, the more other, new people are also exposed to your inflammatory conversations, which in turn sparks a response in them, and so and so forth.

If we all just gained 600k followers and then stopped, and we all saw every update they made, and we all just hung out in our own corners and minded our own business? Sure, that would be lucrative for the creators with all those followers, but Instagram wouldn't be experiencing exponential growth- they need MORE new users, MORE old users spending MORE time on the app, following MORE people, leaving MORE comments, SEEING MORE ADS, because they need more and more and more for their shareholders. Influences are the product just as much as regular users.

I'm thinking about that post that talks about how, as income inequality gets worse and the middle class shrinks, advertising gets more and more aggressive, despite people's ability to spend shrinking with each new day. This feels similar somehow? Like, people are starting to get wise to the fact that social media makes us feel like crap, and that the excuse of "I have to use it to stay connected to everyone else" falls flat when you're not actually connecting with those people. Even as the internet continues to shrink, more and more people are getting fed up with social media and using it less, or leaving outright, because it's becoming less and less usable, more ad-ridden than ever. And yet it reinforces the need for those platforms to get more aggressive, to bring in more users to replace the ones they're losing. It's a never ending cycle of "we have to cause you psychic damage! in the interest of roping in more people to damage psychically :)" and we all know we're doing it, and we all hate them for it, and yet we can't stop.

Once again I have to mention that absolutely fucking BIZARRE interaction my bf had the other day. Someone he knew "liked" a comment that was spreading misinformation and a very anti-treatment sentiment about DBT. He messaged this friend privately to ask if they really thought that. They told him, "I dont know what DBT is. I just click 'like' on any comment someone I think is cool makes." When my bf pressed them further, along the lines of, "why would you do that?" They said "for engagement." This was not an influencer, this is not a brand or a page or a business account they were using. It was a personal account w a few hundred friends. I just CANNOT get over this. Clicking buttons just because they're there, "for engagement" lmao. Engagement for whom, my good bitch? They might be interacting with your posts, but this is not "your" platform. The engagement isn't for you, sweaty. But ok.

I dont have a conclusion or any suggestions here. Just an observation. What a fucking mess. Social media demanded that we all make ourselves available 24/7, trained us to React instead of to care, convinced us all that we are each some kind of personal brand that requires social marketing to maintain, got us to pick fights with each other constantly as a result, made the internet a miserable place to be, and we have thanked them for the privilege.

Anyway. No more letting the algorithm tell you what to care about today. Contact me thru a series of intricate rituals or not at all. If it's really that important you can send me a Neomail 👍

#me #internet #join me on neocities too btw. im horce-divorce.neocities.org #im probably also gonna make a new personal tumblr #this ones getting too many follows and i dont want my mom to find it

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jeffbytes · 9 months

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i wud like to spend a bit more time on tumblr, i've just got this weird feeling hanging over me that i'm sure is bollocks and my dear moots and friends would be here regardless but my two cents 🏃‍♂️

while i do still self ship and have f/os, it's not been a mainline activity for me in a long time, even art as a whole has sidelined this year to building on my irl connections, playing videogames, volunteering, travelling and generally just doing stuff offline other than drawing. i've branched out into so many new subsections of myself whilst battling something extremely distressing in terms of a fuck up with my HRT so i've been so distant from everything 😖

i'm waffling anyway. how do i phrase this? there's still a point to my friends still being here. right? like even if i do post art occassionally i know many folks followed for my self ships and it's not always gunna be that these days. i fear i've outgrown myself or something and i'm past my prime and my content would no longer be of any interest or something and in general i just feel like i'm losing touch with everything as all my focus and attention has been drawn towards fixing this HUGELY detrimental HRT issue ive been placed in, moving into new hobbies and interests, i fear my relevancy is drawing to a close, i guess.

i dont even know what i want out of this post or if anyone'll even read it no ones obligated to, i just hope even as i (metaphorically speaking, im already having so much trouble with the physical) transition into a new person, i'll still have my friends and mutuals with me and i'll be supported in everything i do and everything i am, rather than just my self ships, i guess

at present it's not something i'm massively dedicated to and i am actually relieved, as i was getting way too deep into it and was actively damaging my mental health and the hobbyist side of selfshipping was all but lost for me. the few bits i do make now feel healthy and balanced with my newer self and i just really hope this better more healed version of me isnt a disappointment for anyone. ;; i cant really think of how else to phrase it. felt like a disappointment to everyone i know recently even when i'm trying so darn hard to see the best in me and the person i've become. i'm proud of my personal growth but now the question remains - at what cost ;;

a rhetorical if u want, no ones obliged to answer that. just wanted that off my chest before i tried to make a more consistent return, even if it's just reblogs of interests i have or art of whatever i feel like doodling that week, if i feel like doodling at all :') ty

#jeffs personal posts #long post #iiiiiii guess #feedback if u want to but no ones obliged to #an ask or a post reply i disabled reblogs for the obvious reasons :')

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writingpuddle · 2 years

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I totally agree with the extra content opinion you recently reblogged.. I’m of the mindset (which might not be your exact mindset) that extra content is canon when written by the author.. so the lack of ilys and smiles I can accept as a natural Andrew recovery… and I agree that a lot of people struggle with that bc that’s not their version of progress.. but my one hottake on the extra content (which I might be remembering incorrectly it’s been a while) is that I disagree with the “they never hug” thing.. I think that was in there and idk I cannot wrap my head around them never hugging.. RARELY hugging sure but sometimes there are scenarios in my brain where they would hug.. even if brief or in extreme situations, or barely ever.. I do see them eventually working up to hugging each other tho.. thoughts?

yeah i get you there, i dont quite agree with 'everything the author writes is canon', id probably only include the actual published books myself, but also as someone who primarily writes au and isnt doing like. actual literary crit theres a point where i dont really...care whats canon or not canon. i cherrypick both canon and the ec looking for ideas for what would make sense in the context of my current au and then fill the gaps with my own stuff

that being said, as someone who is touch-repulsed and aroace, a lot of the ec really resonated with me because i will never and can never have a conventional future and while i will obviously never complain to any individual person about their interpretation just because their happiness looks different from mine it does sometimes feel a bit disappointing when so many interpretations tend to push the characters into being more conventional. i like that nora gave them a strange, abnormal future and that she also said they wouldnt have it any other way because they are happy! they love each other and they are happy but these are not the words or ways they say that!

as for hugging, iirc she said they would in certain situations (ie the heat of the moment after winning a game) and im inclined to think they would find a lot of comfort together and that yes, that would occasionally take the form of hugs. sometimes i picture a big baltimore-esque scene where one thought the other was gonna die and theres a big physical embrace but then again we know in canon how they dealt with that and it was controlled but extremely charged physical touches and very intense dialogue. the apres-olympic win scene nora described is probably the one that fits the best with them in my mind.

but mostly i picture them having a lot of more casual just. being near each other and making a point to be touching. i personally much prefer leaning on people or just draping my legs over somebody as a form of physical affection as opposed to a Hug which is a Thing. so this is me hardcore projecting but i like to think of andrew and neil just on the couch, shoulders against each other, maybe one of them puts an arm over the other so its more comfortable, barely even paying attention to each other just being pressed together and for once not worrying about it.

and then sometimes also doing the thing where they sit on opposite sides of the room and everyone is like ???? are they fighting??? and meanwhile andrew and neil are just slow blinking at each other like cats

#aftg #aftg ec #aftg headcanons #anons #asks #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #i like hugs from like four people #i am very bitter about how people act like they are owed hugs #especially from kids but also as an adult #people get so offended when youre not a hugger #like sorry you need to be a category four friend to unlock hug privileges #whoops this tag ramble got personal sorry

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misqnon · 20 days

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nhello monti! it is March Again :v i feel like it's super obvious who i am so thank u for humoring me and using the name i gave u LOL.

my bad, ive never really celebrated april fools so i forgot it.. was... that day. im also glad u checked ur inbox. also theres no pressure to reply in a certain time frame!! i see ur posts that u have seen my asks and thats enough to put me at ease. so . take ur time!

fellow zoro fan!!!! i have a hard time choosing a favorite straw hat tbh.. they r all so special to me. i do probably like brook and franky just slightly more though. old men my beloved (tbh franky isnt that old but hes old compared to the younger members so). wano is the arc of buff men!! as a man liker... it pleases me.

the edit u sent Is So Good. thank u for sharing. i keep seeing sanji tiktoks and wanting to send them to u but i dont wanna spam ur inbox </3 my messages r already So Long..

ive listened to a bit of the dub (through clips) and tbh i do like it!! i like brook's voice acting a lot (hes who ive heard the most of. also he nails the laugh, which is very important to me) but luffys voice is so jarring to me i just cannot.. get past it. i think im just too used to the sub luffy after . a decade . of hearing him sound like that. plus i usually have to use subtitles anyways cuz i have an audio processing disorder so. sub is just what i default to. but yeah definitely valid to watch dub instead!! they do a great job from what ive seen :)

i have seen a bit of extra content involving the live action cast and tbh usopps actor.. is my favorite. he nails usopp. hes real life usopp. and i love usopp a lot so,,. tbh i might just pirate it (ahaha.... pirate.... pirate.... pirate the pirate show .......) because i really want to watch it!!

YEAH u have plenty of time!! plus i imagine there will be a part of the story where they go back and visit places they said they would return to (like u mentioned laboon). so 2 more islands plus however long it takes to revisit everything! no need to stress

stay strong 🫡 egghead will be so much better going in blind!

catholic guilt about liking sanji is ... i get it. thats funny /lh. i also feel intense guilt for the weirdest and simplest of things LMAO. im glad i didnt make u feel bad about it!!

YEAHH FELLOW DOFFY LOVER!! ive seen a few videos by melonteee and theyre super good. i would watch more but.. ironically (considering i got 800 episodes through one piece..) i cant watch a lot of longform content because i space out so bad. it takes a lot of effort for me to give my full attention and it gets pretty exhausting so i dont do it often. ur art of him is lovely!!! tongue piercings..... 😳.

i got to like .. stardust crusaders. in jjba. and i imagine i just havent seen enough of dio to feel attached to him like i do doffy, but i have seen a few people say they feel the same!!! ive kinda been wanting to go back to it but i just hate old man joseph joestar with such a passion.... i get too angry when hes on screen LOL. its way worse than how i feel abt sanji bc i dont simmer with intense RAGE every time sanji's on screen and i have a lot more positive feelings towards him. that was a bit of a tangent, whoops.

thabk u for validating my sanji hatred. actually i have come to enjoy a lot of sanji content recently though, and i dont think i hate him as much?? as i did?? i will credit this to u. idk if me just talking about it with another human being helped or if its because i see how much u love him but. i think this is good for me!! less rage .. is always good for me. watch me go back to hating him with a passion again now that ive said im fond of him. because im That Inconsistent 😭😭 (i hope this doesnt happen)

it was only super recently where i realized its not inherently a bad thing to like problematic media. to be fair tho there are definitely a lot more problematic fans when u enjoy problematic media, and i see it with one piece a lot. there is a WEIRD amount of transphobes in this community and i cant help but feel like part of that is because of oda's writing spreading some common transphobic ideas. i think hes redeemed himself a lot with the most recent trans characters, and i adore them, but the damage.. is done. but yeah im sure another big part of why theres so much negativity is just because one piece is insanely popular. the bigger the fandom, the bigger the shitty part of it is.

THEY *HAVE* EARNED THE RIGHT TO BE REAL PEOPLE.. UR SO RIGHT. i love that u can see their morals so clearly in like. every action . or inaction. they take. ughh. people talk about luffy falling asleep during people's backstory and say hes rude for it. and its like!! thats a core part of his character!!! he doesn't care about what happened in the past!! he just cares about how you are NOW. tbh though i WOULD be offended if he fell asleep while i was traumadumping LOL. like as a character decision its genius, but as a person .. i am too sensitive for that. BUT IT SHOWS HIS CHARACTER SO WELL!!

IM SO GLAD U NOTICED AUJFH. that moment is so special. u ARE my favorite sanji lover!! my favorite character?? honestly its law... hes so stupid (/pos)... but like.. its hidden behind a very serious mask. i just love people who are extremely silly. and someone who hides their silliness with all their might (and fails) makes them more silly. some of my favorite law moments are in wano and i Really .. ugh. i wish i could tell u but i refuse to spoil even the most minor of things!! so i will wait till u get there. also his backstory just Kills me. it . it hurts. i love tragic characters. looks at choso from jjk. i have a type .

law may be my ultra favorite but i have .. at least 30 different Favorites. including the straw hats. and tbh everyones at about the same level.. in terms of how much i love them. i think its safe to say i adore one piece characters. its because everyone is silly!!! i can list all the ones im aware of (since there r so many op characters.. i have. a list . but i keep adding to it.) if ur curious LOL. if not, no worries :)

YEAHHH ZOROOO MY LOVE!! thank u for The Food. yum. his one eye is very pretty in ur style 🥺. i havent tried to draw him yet tbh but i understand the struggle!! i tried drawing choso a while ago and his hair is so insanely painful.. art is hard.

hello march!!

is. is it super obvious

i have a guess but i wasn’t feeling super confident about it or anything JSAHBZJVHFD

More below ↓

i actually had like no idea until i received a reply earlier and now im wondering if ur possibly a recent mutual of mine 🔍🧐 maybe starting…with @ a….but i will not make u answer if u dont wanna HAHAHA

i will humor u as long as u want 👍

good to know there’s no pressure!! as soon as i get a message i like to reply as soon as i can but thats bc i get excited lmao. however this does make me feel more at peace

YEAA FELLOW ZORO FAN!! originally my favs were just the top 3 of 1. sanji 2. robin and 3. franky but as we got past water 7 and franky didnt get much more development spotlight he fell a bit just bc i dont get to see him doing much :( still love him though. bc of Shipping Reasons (embarrassing) Zoro got on my radar more and i started to appreciate him as a character more and more. plus he’s just. really badass im ngl. and in addition to that he is. so fucking stupid and uncool and goofy at the same time and that just makes him more likable. so now i just have a quartet of favs cause zoro wormed his way in there somewhere and i hold him dear to my heart. (plus im so bad with directions it is QUITE LITERALLY almost as bad as zoro and so i. genuinely relate to him on that LMAO) but i agree !! i LOVE ALL THE STRAWHATS VERY MUCH. I CANT EVEN CHOOSE A LEAST FAVORITE BC I LOVE ALL OF THEM A LOT. also god yes we fucking love an old guy in this household. and i LOOOVE FUURANKIIIII my silly king!! franky is fairly young but early on in the story when its just a bunch of teenagers and 20 somethings and then 34 year old franky is there its. kinda funny and i love that for him. also speaking of old men i called dofuwani old man yaoi once and someone called me out saying 41 and 46 was not old enough 😔 /ashamed. sorry yall lemme pull out some slash of rayleigh and crocus real quick-

aside from the strawhats my other favs are doffy, crocodile, corazon…god there’s so many characters now that i think about it lmao. secondarily i also like bartolomeo, kizaru, kid, bon clay…i have huge crush on katakuri even tho i havent met him yet…im sure there will be more as i continue and meet more

omg im so flattered u consider sending me sanji tiktoks sjnkjcnd!??! someday. someday u have to do this for me. i will send u more funny edits and op posts

BROOK’S DUB VOICE IS GOD TEIR. ARE U TALKING ABOUT/ HAVE YOU SEEN THIS VIDEO. IAN SINCLAIR IS AMAZING LAMNDKJFN

i got used to luffys dub voice bc i watched it first but ive always been meh/neutral dislike towards it and once i heard mayumi tanaka in sub i was like damn. its the only voice i dont like but hes the Main Character. his sub voice also makes me like luffy more as a character mvkjdnvf dub just makes him sound more like a selfish weird boy instead of a silly selfish little guy. you feel me (and no i feel u even with dub i have captions on bc. yeah </3)

taz inaki and jacob are a trio of mischievousness and silliness that i adore. emily is also fun and goofy but on a more ~ refined ~ scale. and mackenyu is so professional to them all in comparison but it makes it hilarious tbh. i follow all of the main 5 on instagram and love seeing them post about it. the recent april fools video starring jacob (usopp) was. hilarious. like what is

(and yes…pirate it….do it….yohohoho or whatever nami would be proud)

i am so ready for wano and egghead i will stay strong for u march 🫡 must avoid spoilers…and still take my time to enjoy the story..

i understand not being able to do longform content lmao. i did watch their 3 hr stream comp of one piece odyssey but like…i had it on in the bg while doing other things. im glad uve seen their stuff tho!! its one of my fav one piece content channels. im glad u liked my doffy 🥹i embellished a Little bit but his piercings are actually from this colorspread !!

i was insane and in highschool when i was into jjba. a lot of it was also during the summers and i had a lot of free time so i. read all the way up through part 7 after watching parts 1-3 (or 4? cant remember). im not as into it anymore but jojos (and araki) still hold a place in my heart <3 HATING OLD MAN JOSEPH IS SO FUNNY KDSNFVK NO OFFENSE JUST LIKE. YEAH. U SHOULD HATE HIM. THATS A VALID RESPONSE AND HE DESERVES IT. KICK HIS CHEATING OLD ASS. i loved younger joseph and like a lot of ppl him cheating on suzie q pissed me da fuck off. but in pt 4 he’s frail and old and they make u feel bad but still. i KNow What You Did. appreciative u hate someone more than sanji tho like hell yea my boy aint at the bottom LMAO. its cool others have noticed the similarities between dio and doffy too! i always wonder if long running mangaka take insp from each other sometimes

omg…im converting u…my influence as the fav sanji lover /j. but that makes me happy!! hell yea we’re changing outlooks over here. i validate ur sanji hatred but i also wont be mad if u like him a little teehee. his fanon is. a lot better than his canon tho so. that helps. we are fixing him. taking him away from oda and dressing him up like a doll . and if u go back to hating him thats ok too at least he isnt old man joseph

i only interact w one piece here on tumblr or in the 2 op discord servers i happen to be in. with it being so mainstream (and i have. never been in a mainstream popular fandom like this before) i know theres a ton of gross dudebros who like it so i try to avoid that. sucks to hear there’s a bunch of transphobia but im not surprised :/ i still do see yamato discourse and its like got damn how much convincing do u need yall. but no i agree it probably is the audience oda cultivated + his earlier portrayals…though i do really like that he. tried again and did better. though even with yamato i sometimes feel like he puts him in situations that go against canon (like why did he draw yamato as a geisha and include him in the womens day colorspread…oda why) but alas. give and take

YES THERE;S SO MANY CHARACTERS WHO HAVE INSTANCES LIKIE THAT!! SO MANY MORALS AND CONVICTIONS THEY STICK TO AND SO MANY STRONG CHARACTER TRAITS. thats why i find so many op characters easy to write, bc they’re outlined so heavily in the show in what their archetypes and ideals and behaviors are…it kinda bothers me that luffy falls asleep during moments like that too bc it would make ME upset but like. YEA THATS IN CHARACTER FOR HIM DFKNFV

AH A LAW LOVER!! he’s very popular !?!? i know he comes in again in wano but during punk hazard and dressrosa i was like is this enough screentime for how popular he is omg. i guess he’s just pathetic and sad and grungy punk emo boy . tbh if i didnt already have so many favs who fill that spot i would probably have him as a fav as well. but i do REALLY LIKE law. his backstory with cora….fucks me UP!! and he’s been through a lot and come out stronger. plus his juxtaposition and interactions with luffy and the strawhats is so fucking funny kcncd. the op server im in has PLENTY of law lovers so i see him often. i think i stole this from a tumblr post recently but i saw this and saved it to my phone bc i loved it so much

i relate to him here. he is so me. this was me dyking it up at university fr

ik this is from one piece party but i think it shows his secret silly here. he got it from cora i think how could he not. but he hides it under that I Am A Serious And Scary Doctor . like sure trafalgar

YES send me the full list!! in return i will list more favs as well. mayhaps a tierlist of some kind. we will see

glad u liked the zoros :^) idk anything about jjk but i will look up this choso man one moment. [...] okay i actually really like his design (and hair) but that looks like hell to draw i wish u the best </3 i have a degree in art and ummm its still really hard sorry to tell u it does not get better </3 [JOKING THATS A JOKE A JOKE CJNCD]

here’s a question to leave u off with: what do you think each of the strawhats eye colors is? since most of them are just drawn with black dots. and IF DIFFERENT what are your headcanons/what do you Wish they were 👁️ eagerly awaiting ur response bc i have Opinions on this

talk to u next time!

#march anon #asks #replies #microphone effect #💃

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captaiinobvious · 2 years

Text

i dont watch a lot of New Content very often because like. im just not much of a media person as much as i love the stuff i do like? like rarely am i in the mood to intake new media im always making stuff. i just am 2 focused on making stuff so most things i watch are like random background noise thats on while i work on beading or art or my own stories. im more of a music person than a tv or movie person. but sometimes i DO need new brain food i need a new book or movie or tv show and well ive been feeling that way. so we watched the black phone 2nite n it was really good. according 2 andi it was really intense n suspenseful (i dont really feel traditional fear watching horror movies usually its either funny or they activate blood rage and well. this one activated blood rage. thats the closest i get to scared so it must have been scary. its just that my brains fucked up) but mostly i was really interested in how the characters are like. played by actual kids. n the acting was really good. and normally making horror characters like. interesting? likeable? developed? isnt a priority and you dont get much time w them esp bc of the movie format but this one was real good @ fostering a genuine emotional connection that makes it more impactful. the axe bit was a little iffy visually but the effects were pretty great for most of it. it definitely has my mind feeling active which is what i wanted. im still in New Content mood so im gonna watch something else. probably another horror film since i have a backlog and i dont have any new shows to start or really anything else thats caught my interest recently except for one old anime from the 80s but im looking for something a little more... solid i guess? where you can pay a lot of attention to shots and music and lines and what they mean and whats going on in a more intense way.

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boycottyashahime · 3 years

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You have absolutely great takes so I wanted to know your opinion about the entire way Sunrise dealt with the execution of the sequel, because something doesnt exactly make sense to me - it's either Sunrise were hilariously disconnected from reality or they just didnt care; WHY would they even make an entire sequel dedicated to one problematic ship that isnt even liked by the majority of the fandom (SessRin) , while basically shitting all over the most popular one (Inukag) ? What did they think would happen? xD Why would their sequel EVER be accepted with no issues with decisions like that?

I'm glad you think so well of my takes, querent! I don't personally think they're particularly insightful, but that's probably because they're native to my head, and might be obvious to me, but not anyone else.

On why Sunrise could have thought HNY as it came out was any kind of a good idea, the way I see it, there are a couple of possibilities. The first is just plain incompetence. We know that the lead writer of the show has a... bias toward these relationships, to put it nicely, and that he and his allies in the company have been trying to cultivate the audience's sensibilities in that direction for many years as well. They could genuinely have thought they had succeeded in convincing all of us to support the ship, leading to a bungle.

The second possibility, however, is that the show was calculated to be unpalatable or cause an uproar. That might SEEM counterintuitive from this side of the problem, because we as fans tend to think our tastes need to be catered to, or at least soothed, in order for our viewership to be secured. I myself thought at the beginning of this debacle that Sunrise would have to tiptoe around the issue to maintain as much of the audience as possible. Why would anyone accept an addition that twisted and ruined their favorite media?

But with more and more outright insulting remakes/sequels coming out that seem to miss the point entirely or even make a mockery of elements of stories beloved by fans, I'm starting to think it's all done on purpose. Sunrise is one thing, but DISNEY does this a lot, and never seems to flinch at the backlash. You'd think by now these companies would figure out what they've been doing wrong and fix it, but that's only if they've been doing things WRONG by their measurements.

Research has been coming out recently that suggests we engage more with content on social media that pisses us off than the stuff we actually like. Incendiary posts spread like wildfire and produce arguments miles long because denouncing things that are distasteful and offensive to us has become the core of internet existence. This is especially exacerbated regarding content to do with identity and affirmations of such: race, creed, sex, orientation, political affiliation, and yes, fandom.

We engage with fiction that really appeals to us on the level of identity, because the whole reason we get into it in the first place is we see something in it that we identify with. Something deeply personal stands out to us in it, intended by the creator or not, and we adopt it as a part of us and a reflection of who we are. We buy merchandise and consume new content as a way to reaffirm our affinity for the aspects of the media we have internalized. We OWN it; it is OURS.

So it feels personal whenever someone says something disparaging toward our favorite media. It feels even MORE personal when an official source of content contradicts the source material and the way things were understood by ourselves and our community, or presents an immoral twisted picture of it. We rage against anything that hurts the image of the source material because it's also OUR image, and we have to defend it as part of ourselves. Out comes the disavowal, the vocal rejections, the attempts to shame and withdraw support from the company. And this of course bumps up engagement and the numbers for the content and studio.

Online, attention is currency, and getting the most attention often means raising a LOT of ire and tempers over hot-button issues. It's just good business sense to troll away and make people angry these days.

As conspiratorial as it might seem, I think there's a good chance HNY was written for the algorithm rather than to actually appeal to an audience. Considering how Sunrise has yet to actually give development and definition to the controversial pairing in question, and their affiliate manga artist characterized the show as one of many possible futures, they're not really endearing themselves to the shippers anymore either. That might change in the second season, if they're willing to risk their distribution deals and such, but if not, I'd say universal frustration might have been the goal.

Whatever gets the outrage points, I guess.

#anti sunrise #anti yashahime #anti sessrin #antisessrin

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hillarysss · 3 years

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Hills! Okay ngl i did stalk your Tumblr few hours back cuz i wasn't seeing content otherwise (Tumblr get yo shit together)

I really admire you as a person, you were one of the first i interacted with here and loved your energy. As I see you now grow into such a beautiful and strong person. I think you have become more resilient and calm and more badass 💅. I still see you as the kind and soft pisces that your rising is. I know our interaction isnt so much there recently but know i admire you and your work ethic a lot. And sending you a lots of love and postivity. You are one hell of a person I had a pleasure of knowing here.

For the game sue me ,but i will be asking what is my future spous'se personality or anything you see? 💀 Long shot but i ll take it.

Anyway I did mean everything you answer or not. Dammit cancer season. 🌼

this is @notanastrologer🖤

Thank you so much for your kind words, let’s get into it🖤🖤 Ily sm🥲

Future spouse personality 🦋

I’m hearing the word “novel” and “books”, I have a feeling your future spouse will be an author or some sort, theyre talented in writing I have a feeling they will have mercurial energy like gemini. I don’t know if you know this about yourself but you’re quite intuitive yourself I’m seeing some sort of intuitive connection with your spouse, try tarot cards on them. I don’t know your sexuality but they seem to have a smart feminine energy. They’re very calculated and steady almost having an unapproachable demeanor, they can be a bit intimidating to others but will give you special attention and treatment leaving others confused and jealous you’d think “why me?”, they won’t be the tallest but not the shortest. Very calculated person they love in a practical sense they will have capricorn and virgo, they are very protective but not jealous they would love to carry you and protect you they’re the type to be like “touch my friends and i’ll kill you. they could have some scorpio or aries in their chart. They have intuitive gifts and I heard screaming I feel like they have gone through a lot perhaps even bullying making them kind of lonely inside, though they love parties and stuff they only let some people emotionally in, they will prefer a rainy morning with you alone🤍, i’m seeing one kid. Also a lot of attraction towards each other a lot. they love your hair and think you look angelic. I’m also hearing glasses and mild acne idky, i think this could be their feature but could be yours so lmk, i do think they have glasses tho. They have a smartie look. I think they’re a virgo or scorpio or aries rising like almost 100%

Oh no:( I think i channeled too much, i hope you give me some worthy feedback 🦋🦋 (check dms)

#astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #hillarysss #gemini #aquarius #virgo #pisces #cancer #capricorn

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dat-soldier · 3 years

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idk if there’s that much of a point of putting out art out there when it barely gets attention. Either here or twitter, or instagram, or whatever. It’s just getting pitiful notes, likes or whatever.

Yeah maybe its a bit Extremely online of a thing to worry about, but it’s my main feedback and reward when i put out a piece. If it’s a commission i dont care about the clout, it’s so i can get groceries. but when i take time and motivation i can’t really spare to try and make something special, like a personal piece or a fan art and it gets a fraction of what someone posting an anime girl gets, idk. it gets to me. like the heist movie poster/ series that took me a grueling 2 months along with commission work, that kinda bombed. maybe the target demographic isnt there, maybe im just insanely out of touch. maybe my art style is not really appealing. i dont know. i just know it doesnt make me want to put in 8 hours in a drawing for next to no attention.

i know other artists are going through this too. i’ve been going through it since i started putting content out in 2006. sometimes i feel like i havent really made any progress, or reached a plateau. maybe im not doing things right. either socially, or pleasing an algorythm, or just making drawings that catch the eye. guess i cant wait to finally “make it”, lol. maybe i peaked in 2017 with the payday 2 freelance work.

i just feel that no matter what i do, it’s not good enough. friends and kind indivuduals will say my art is fine, not to worry about numbers and all. but like, i dont feel its normal i’m stagnating this badly. i try new things and it just doesnt change much. i feel if i started drawing titties, i would plateau pretty quickly too.

lots to think about. in any case yeah that’s why there’s been a slowdown of art recently. thank you to everyone who reblogged, commented and added lovely and fun tags to my pieces. Youre golden~

Hope i can put out more ambitious art soon so it can reach 437 notes and nothing else and the cycle will continue until the next burnout.

#vent #art

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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I lovelovelovelove ur writing. Was thinking if u could do one where readers relationship w tom exposed bcos someone recognises her but she isnt famous? And its all backwards and caught out sort of thing

thanks for being so kind! also I feel like me narrator-y voice has gone WAY too far, what do u guys think? I won't be offended promise I just think it sounds so fucking annoying rn

Tom Holland x reader

summary: you run into possibly the most infuriating family members the one time u and ur boy are showing PDA

warnings = none I think :)

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It was a late late evening, on the last train of the night towards manchester, the British countryside plunged into darkness that appeared as a blank, black canvas out the rounded-rectangular windows.

And although the serene surroundings were calming, the regular and rhythmic movement of the carriage on the tracks - you were more on edge. Your relationship with Tom had yet to be revealed to the world - though you’d travelled as part of his extended entourage before under the guise of a ‘family friend’. So now it just being you, Tom, Harry, Andrew and Rachel - you felt more exposed. Of course, you were incredibly grateful that Tom had planned this weekend away for the two of you (after a work commitment, hence the presence of his manger, makeup artist and Harry). But it was scary.

Coming out of Euston station, the earlier time meant the train had been more of a hive of activity. Kids running up and down the aisle, inevitably recognising Tom and then asking for a photo. Enough that you’d had to move a few seats down the carriage, so no one would associate you travelling with the a-lister.

But after you’d past Birmingham and the clocks past eleven pm, everything had quietened down and Tom convinced you to come and sit next to him on the table of four. Andrew and Rachel were taking use of their little duo seat across for you to catch up on some well needed beauty sleep. They’d all been working with Tom doing promo for his most recent movie in London so it’d been pretty 24/7.

That left you, with all the energy, contrasting greatly with the two flagging Holland boys.

“Lets play heads up!” You announced to the much less enthusiastic faces round the tables.

“You can’t play that quietly and the whole carriage dont want to listen to you screeching.” Harry rolled his eyes whilst slightly ripping into you, then picking up his phone - thinking that would shut you up.

“I can play quietly!” You huffed, looking for Tom for backing… which never came. He didn’t even need to try and defend himself before you whacked his chest in false-annoyance.

“ It’s not a bad thing, just passion.” Tom murmured, desperately attempting to sweet talk your round - which of course, was not going to happen.

“No way! I’ll prove it to you!”

“Nonono darling, look I’m tired.” He straight refused, wrappings his arms round your shoulders to try and cage you in. He ended up with his back pressed against the window and your back against his chest. “Lemme just relax with my best girl.” You huffed in reply, worming round in his clutch before eventually giving up and relaxing your head onto his collar bone. For the reasons previously mentioned, you did not for a second believe he was serious with this PDA. Just sitting next to each other was risky enough, now he was very clearly hugging you in a public place. Arching your neck back, you were shocked he already had his eyes shut - looking perfectly contented and relaxed.

“T, are you serious?” You whispered, making him crack one eye open with a questioning look. Instantly he knew what you meant, I mean, it was him that was most worried about people finding out about you - for your sake. His horror stories of previous relationships hadn’t helped, to the point now only your mum dad and siblings knew about your relationship to Tom - mainly for the sole reason your nan was the biggest gossip in the world and could NOT be trusted.

“Course love, it’ll be fine no ones around and I got my cap on. No one will notice us.”

Foolproof. Or so you both thought.

And honestly for an hour or so you relished in the fact that in a public space, your boyfriend was showing you physical affection. It was exciting, which meant as Tom’s arms grew lax round you as he slumped slightly in the chair your energy only increased. No one else was being any use either - Harry had his head in his arms on the table and similarly neither Rachel nor Andrew were conscious enough to keep you company. Finally you settled on playing a game on your phone whilst also ever so softly wiggling round on Tom’s chest, purely because you enjoyed the little huffs and the way he’d squeeze you tighter as he snoozed.

You were engrossed in shitty little iPhone game when a person who was walking down the aisle slowed down, drawing your attention away from the phone. And then your heart literally dropped because you instantly recognised your uncle and cousin, who was 12. Worse though, they had most definitely clocked you.

Of all people, your uncle and boy cousin too. Possible the best (or worst depending on your point of view) at winding you up, at messing with you, for genuinely causing all chaos and mischief with you. They were most certainly not going to be discrete. They’d rib you till your dying day.

“Y/n?” Your uncle spoke first, noticing the that the group you with all seemed to be asleep, so at least trying to be a bit sensitive. Not that it mattered on Tom’s part though, you instantly bolted up and away from him, making him groan as he slowly woke up.

“Er yeh, I-um fancy seeing you guys here. Why were you in London?” Because yes half your family did live in manchester - a fact you felt slightly guilty about, considering you couldn’t fit in a quick and explainable reason as to why you were in that area of the UK during a ‘pop in’. So you’d chosen to keep the whole trip a secret too.

“We’ve been at the footie, could ask you the same question.” Your uncle smirked, noticing toward Tom, who now was blinking his eyes heavily - looking with furrowed brows between the two of you.

Because yes, the cap had been great to stop people recognising Tom. Neither of you were to expect it’d be you that’d be YOU stopped by someone who noticed you.

“Oh um… well er this is my friend Tom, he’s got a work thing in manchester so thought I’d tag along. What was the score?” Yes you described your boyfriend of 9 months as a friend, when it was clear to everyone you were more than that. Though frankly, you still felt sick introducing him as ‘boyfriend’ - that itself was cringe as hell. The reference to football was an in-vain attempt to distract them with the most-boring-sport-in-the-world talk. If only Tom had kept his mouth shut.

“Sorry mate” His voice was a little hoarse, making him force a cough before stretching his hand out. “I’m Tom”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ritchie and this is Matt” Your uncle motioned to his twelve year old son who was smiling politely but his expression seemed to drop as he made eye contact with Tom. Blissfully unaware, Tom shook Ritchies hand your a soft smile.

“How do you guys-“

“I’m her uncle. Tell you what, didn’t imagine bumping into my niece on the 11:30 train to manchester.”

Tom’s face fell and he froze. You’d both been caught out. Massively. It couldn’t get worse, till it did.

“Y/n is that Spiderman?” Because yes, Matt was prime Marvel fanboy age. And yes, of course his favourite hero was Spiderman. And yes, this would probably be the most exciting day of his life. And the most embarrassing of yours.

It was at this point Harry was sufficiently disturbed, enough to make him sit upright whilst also backing away into the corner of the booth, watching from afar.

“I-uh” You didnt really want to say it, for the sake of that meant he was revealing this secret you’d guarded with your life. But at the same time, you had this overwhelming sense of pride for Tom because “yeh, yes he is spiderman.” Matt started jumping up and down like an overexcited boyband fan which made you laugh, heart swelling as Tom chuckled along beside you.

Yes by no means was this ideal. And yes you were now forced to tell your family (so ultimately the world) about your relationship. Maybe that wasn’t so bad though?

hope u enjoyed + thank you for reading <333

tagging: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

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