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#feel romantic things towards your lover right? i mean i dont know if my feelings are shaped like anyone else's so maybe its more of a case
puppyeared · 2 years
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weird that the shape of love is two beating hearts glued together and not two hands holding each other
#well technically it comes from the shape of two hearts sewn together but i dont know how that translates to romance.. literally its kinda#disturbing but symbolically i guess it is kind of sweet#my friend and i were talking and she said something about someone saying a lover cant just be a friend you can kiss but i think i disagree#i kind of think the point of a lover IS a friend you can kiss because like it must get exhausting having to convince yourself you can only#feel romantic things towards your lover right? i mean i dont know if my feelings are shaped like anyone else's so maybe its more of a case#by case basis. for me id like someone whose hand i can hold and i can make pancakes for them and maybe kiss but like not strictly romantic#and not strictly platonic. and my feelings are all over the place because one day ill be really into someone i like and another day ill be#really chill about it. so its hard to say what i feel for someone if its always changing#maybe thats why i think lovers should be friends you can kiss because its coming from my way of feeling? hmmm#like i want to be able to say i love you and mean it romantically one day and then say love you in a platonic way the next day and itd be#ok?? does that make sense??? like i know its the same phrase but its like the feeling i put with it is different each time. idk#its why i find dating someone hard because its constantly going up and down and its never balanced. itd probably really confusing unless i#were to date someone whose feelings works the same way. just some food for thought i guess but then again every relationship needs work#im not sure if that fits into the category of work though.. i cant tell myself what im going to feel#it just happens and theres not much i can really do about it except tell that person what im feeling. hnnnnnhhgh#maybe its better if i just stick to watching fictional couples work it out lmao#yapping#txt
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beefboyandbabygirl · 9 months
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can i request pleasee? wonwoo oneshot based on taylor swift's song "the very first night" because i'm in need of smutty with extra fluffy in it ☹️😔
Very First Night
⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰
pairing: ex!wonwoo x fem!reader
genre: smut, fluff, exes to lovers
warnings: this is SMUT MDNI!, oral (f receiving), regular smegular missionary, making out, exes getting back together, brief mentions of clubbing and alcohol, petnames (baby, darling)
quotes from beefboy: "it's FIERCE" (sorry thats the only one i dont feel like scrolling thru all our messages AHHA)
wordcount: 1k
a/n: first request yaaay!! i know im a little late into the game by now (my summer vacay is pretty packed lol), but in case ur confuuuuused, hiii im the bbygirl to the beefboy (aka user @joshibambi), im taking care of all the requests xx. And im gonna be v honest here and say i hadn't heard this song until this request lol, but i took this task SERIOUSLY and i love basing fics on songs (i make a playlist for all of beefboys fics, its true), so like keep em coming. i rlly hope u like it!! (this was a v long a/n lmao i promise they wont all b like this).
You watched his name on your phone screen, displayed in your contacts in a row amongst many other w-names. Wiliam, Wade, Walter- Who the fuck was Wylan? You tried to pay attention to any other name but his.
Wonwoo.
And then you thought, fuck it. It wasn’t like things had ended on bad terms. They had ended on we-are-busy-and-maybe-we-should-try-something-new terms. It was easy. An honest talk on the couch during a chilly Friday afternoon, and you had decided it was the best option. For the both of you.
And it was only after the fourth weekend out with your friends after the breakup, you realized what had happened.  
You missed him. You missed him so bad, you wished you could abandon the strong drinks and sweaty air of the bar that reminded you so much of your very first night with him. But you didn’t. You didn’t say a word as you danced under flashes of pink and red with strangers. Nobody knew.
Nobody knew how much you missed him. Not until now.
“Hello?” 
He sounded confused, maybe even a little startled when he answered your call. Maybe you should have told your friends so they could have talked you out of this afterall.
“Hey Wonwoo.”
“Hey…”
You realized you hadn’t actually planned what you were going to do from here. 
“Do you- Like, wanna come over?”
It went silent on the other end again, and the question echoed in your head, suddenly sounding pretty wrong.
“I mean- Not like that, just like if you wanna talk, you know? Catch up and stuff, I just wanna make sure you’re okay and-“
“Y/n, let me stop you right there.”
Well. That didn’t seem too good.
“I, uh- Okay, fuck, this is really embarrasing, but I’m- I’m already here.”
“…What the fuck?”
“Yeah, and I was gonna do this whole- I don’t know this whole thing, and now you’ve ruined it, actually. So thank you.”
The familiar sarcastic tone of his voice made you giggle as you got up from the couch and sauntered towards the door.
“Really? What kinda thing?”
You were teasing him now, but hell, you had already decided to call your ex on a lonely late night. Might as well go all out.
“This whole…Romantic thing, I know it’s stupid, I’m sorry, but I just-“
Before he could continue, you pushed the door open, and there he was. Not a particularly spectacular sight, to the average person. Dressed in sweats with his glasses (your favorite pair. The slutty ones), sliding down his nose a little, exposing the fact that he probably ran all the way up the stairs. 
And still he was beautiful. The most beautiful you’d ever seen him.
“…So do we talk first, or do you wanna-?”, he asked. 
“I was thinking fuck first, talk second?”
“I wanna kiss you first though.”
“Kissing is an integral part of sex.”
“I know, but I wanna kiss you now.”
“Was that your romantic thing? Burst into my apartment and kiss me?”
He shrugged.
“I figured you’d like it.”
You took a step closer to him.
“You were right.”
At some point during the kiss you both made it past your doorstep, lips pressed together tightly and limbs intertwined in all sorts of impossible ways. 
Once again you were brought back to your first night together. How you practically jumped into his car, and he pressed the gas as hard as he could, and the lights and neon signs were so pretty it felt like they were there just for you. How you stumbled through the hotel room door all smitten and giggling, the sounds of the busy city life behind the window not even coming close to drowning out the sound of your pounding hearts. It was written in the sky that night, the longing, the want, the need you felt for each other. 
You were brought back to the present when the air got punched out of your lungs, as your back hit the mattress of your bed. Wonwoo crawled on top of you, his eyes meeting yours. 
You kissed again. Your limbs intertwined again, and clothes flew all over your room as you scrambled to get back to each other after all this time. you knew then and there that your very first night together was going to be incomparable to this feeling. This feeling, in this moment. 
His lips kissed their way down your body, not leaving a single spot missed until he met your clit, his nose brushing against it ever so lightly. 
“Don’t tease, Won- Ah.”
He couldn’t dream of teasing. Not now, when you were right here, and even though he didn’t get to tell you the words he had memorized, he couldn’t really care. Not when all he could think of at this moment, with his lips wrapped around your clit and tongue prodding at your hole, was you.
“God, so fucking good, missed this fucking pussy”, he mumbled into your dripping core as you gripped his hair tighter and gave in to the inevitable urge to grind against his tongue. 
“I know you’re close baby, come on. Cum for me darling.”
With one last flick of his skilled tongue you were falling over the edge, a rush running through your body that couldn’t compete with any other feeling.
Still in a daze, his chin coated in your wetness, Wonwoo made his way back up your body until his lips were on your neck and his hard cock was grinding against you. 
“Need you Won, need you so bad, please.”
Your voice was barely a whisper, as you ran your nails down his toned back and nipped at his earlobe in a desperate attempt to get him to do something. Anything. Everything.
“I know, I know. Need you too baby, you have no idea.”
He was almost panting, and soon enough his struggling breaths became a long content sigh as your sweet pleas and whines had him pushing into you, your familiar warmth sucking him in.
His thrusts were sharp and deep and fucking perfect. You didn’t want it fast, didn’t want it hard or rough, you wanted it real, wanted it to be just him and you and nothing else.
“Do you know-“
Now he was truly out of breath, heavy sighs and grunts tumbling from his swollen lips right next to your ear as you shut your eyes in pleasure.
“-How much i missed you? Missed you so fucking much, I should have never, fuck, never let anything get in the way.”
God, how nice it felt to know he had missed you. And how nice it felt for someone to finally know how much you had missed him. 
Between a hundred more I missed you-es, you dragged each other through the fall, him after you (ever the gentleman), and between many quick kisses and a few drowsy ones you fell asleep in his arms. 
Just like the very first night.
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ingenio-academy-if · 2 years
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Can you give brief summaries of the ROs personalities and their romantic routes please? Thanks!
Hello! thanks for the ask! I am more than happy to provide that information, however, before we start a quick PSA.
I reserve the right to change any of these statements that I'm making in this post. The game is in early development, I am still learning new things about my characters every day! Changes are to be expected.
Are we all good on that? okay? okay.
This ended up not being brief at all...
Zane:
When you were friends Zane was a calm, loyal friend. A bit blunt and doesn't have the habit of smiling at strangers, but he was kind and mischievous.
Now he is simply cold. Angry, Very tense. He will not go out of his way to help you out, and honestly, he'll be mean. It all comes from a place of hurt though... and well, something else too.
His romance route is all about forgiveness. It's going to be a slow burn with some delicious tension once you've broken through the initial hatred he'll feel towards MC at the start of the story. But afterward, it'll be a tender love that the two of you will need to navigate together as plot shenanigans happen.
It will be easier to romance him in the poly with Aimé.
Evander:
Evander is aloof, he makes it very clear that he has absolutely no interest in being here. He doesn't really want to be in this class! But, he can't go against his father. He is a bit socially dense, having a hard time understanding the subtleties that happen in communications with other people. But he loves being right, and you will catch him smugly smiling whenever he is.
His romance will be tension, he obviously wants you but something is holding him back. Goes out of his way to be meaner because he doesn't know how else to push you away. Entering a relationship with him will reveal a childish side of him that he hides from others. And it will help him realize that hey, maybe he shouldn't just give up on himself and those around him.
Aimé:
Aimé's whole theme is love. They love fiercely and hard, they crave softness and understanding. They don't want to be alone yet find themselves somehow isolated in the school. They also don't speak of their past, how they got turned into a vampire, when. They can be pretty airheaded, but they're so so SO polite!
Aimé's romance will be sweet and cute, they will be happy to have you around. There's just one problem. Their fanclub, and well society too since vampires are thought to be evil bloodsuckers but lets focus on the real issue. Actual people will try to stand in the way of your blossoming relationship, and you need to come to terms with the reality that dating an immortal might get... tricky.
Nova:
Nova is a go-getter, a top-grade student, with that you'd think that they're the serious type. But no! They're pretty bubbly, they love interacting with people. But most of all, they love being in charge and they love a good challenge. If your mc gets popular, she might view them as a threat, which will excite her a lot.
Nova's romance route will be a whirlwind romance, you can start it off quickly and she is all-in almost immediately. She will try to treat you well but issues will arise that are connected to dating a werewolf. She will be a jealous and slightly possessive lover.
Kane:
Kane is weird. They are happy to see you before you even know who the hell they are. They treat you like an old friend who they haven't seen in years, a person that's important to them. Yet if asked they dont reveal why that is. Something about them isn't right, they want to get close to you, but for what reason?
Kane's romance can be a whirlwind romance, similar to Nova, you can start it off early and then have all the secrets revealed when you are already in deep with Kane. Or, you can slow it down and learn the truth before being in a relationship with them, but after you've started having serious feelings for them. Kane's route will have many secrets, and suspicious behaviours, you just need to decide if they're worth it.
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heyyy, this has been living in my head rent free lately, so can i get headcannons of how the brothers ( + undateables if ur up to it) react to a mc who's dating a lower level demon, (they all have romantic feelings towards mc), and only find out they're dating a lower level demon when they confess their feelings
...WHAT?
Whatever you do dont present this mysterious individual to any of the brothers, they will not get along with them so easily, not after this...
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💙LUCIFER
"Well WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE ALREADY DATING SOMEONE WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?!?!?"
The embarrasment behind this man is outstanding, love, such a delicate thing, confession, an even more fragile item, being rejected cause one's crush is already taken?? Dont even let me describe his pain right now
He will just stare in shock at you, heartbroken by this information, feeling like an idiot for not acting sooner, you'll watch as he walks away in silence, no goodbye or anything
He will avoid you by either hiding in his room and drinking his sorrows away with demonus or just not being anywhere he believes you'd be at, the avatar of pride could never look at your face after what went wrong
Pwrhaps you should keep your lover away from him... cause he will NOT be happy to see them
💛MAMMON
"WHAT!?"
The pain in his voice... he was your first man, your partner in crime, this moment, even after so much bullshit from him you could tell his confession was sincer, of course it hurts to him this reality
No, you must be lying, show him your partner, NOW. He needs to know why you would date a lower demon, why you wouldnt pick him, why you didnt fall for the great Mammon
Even if you agree to present your partner to him he'll still spoil you, his feelings arent fajed anyways so its only fair that he stays sincere to you... who knows... maybe he could make you fall for him and leave the other fool...
But one can always dream right MC?
🧡LEVIATHAN
"O-oh... of course you already have a lover... i mean why wouldnt such a lovely person like you already be dating someone?" "Even more its not like he could be any better than some lower demon... they qon your heart anyways..."
Acting aside, he is the avatar of envy for a reason, and boy oh boy can one tell
If you really love your partner maybe dont present them to ANY of the boys??? EVER???? specially dont do so with the levi, the envy is insane
When levi is alone however he wont call for you to hang out, he cant look at you without remembering the embarrasment and your partner who he wishes to be dead
💚SATAN
"........what?"
Have you seen that once scene in guardians in the galaxy 2 where starlord's dad is all like "it broke my heart to put that tumor in her head" and starlord is all like "what?" In this deep spookish voice? Yeah that id exactly how satan pronounced it.
Like father like son, he'll just walk away from you after he gets the answer, the last thing he wants you to see is his wrath
He has been planning for so long, he's read so many romance stories hopeing he could recreate the scenes with you... why must you pick someone else? This is fair... they must be putting up a facade right? R-right?
💖ASMODEUS
"...im sorry... WHAT?!"
he is in shock... when did you start dating someone? When did you meet a lower demon and fall in love with them? WHAT MAKES THEM BETTER THAN HIM????
He is the avatar of lust everyone should want him, but then why dont you want him?? He is supposed to be beautiful, charming, perfect, what does this stranger have that he doesnt??
We all know this guy has got some issues with his looks and himself, but this? This is what breaks him, there is no point in being him if you wont love him back
Idk what he'll do afterwards but just know it wont be any fun
❤BEELZEBUB
"Oh... my bad then.."
He sounds calm but in reality he is very upset about this, he got beaten by a lower demon, but as long as you are happy then he will be happy
This romance doesnt ruin your friendship with him right? You guys can still hang out and have fun together anyways right? This is fine, it really is just... fine
Beel isnt like his brothers, he wont get upset so easily for you being taken, sure the vines between eachother may be off but as long as you two stay friends then everything will be fine, some lower demon wont ruin your fun with him, nor will they ruin his fun with you
💜BELPHEGOR
"Oh..."
There are no questions, no comments, just silence, all the time he lost being in the attic could explain why he never knew about this demon lover of yours, but that doesnt make the pain and embarrasment go away
Perhaps avoiding you is best for the following days, the last thing he'd want to do is look at your face without feeling embarrassed or see you being all lovey dovey for your beloved
Never present him to them, he killed you, what makes you think he wont kill them, he just doesnt find it fair that some lowever demon gets your heart but not him, he'll be fine however, if he sleeps long enough and plays dumb for long enough maybe he'll grow out of it
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hwangsies · 3 years
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zephyr
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(n) a gentle breeze
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pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)
genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha
warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking
wc: 10k
enjoy <3
-
September
"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.
You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.
And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.
You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.
"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.
"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.
"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.
"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.
"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.
She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.
"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"
"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"
"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.
"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.
You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.
"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.
She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"
So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.
Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.
"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"
Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.
"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"
"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.
"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.
"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.
"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.
"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.
"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.
"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"
"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.
"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.
"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.
"i dont kno-"
"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.
"you know chris" you rebuttal.
"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.
"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.
"please please please" she jumps once more.
You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.
"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.
"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.
"lia" you groan.
"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"
"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.
"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"
A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"
-
The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.
Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.
“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.
She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.
“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”
“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.
“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.
You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.
The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”
“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.
The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.
“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.
Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.
You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.
“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.
“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.
“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.
“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.
Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.
One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.
Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.
“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.
“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.
“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.
“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.
“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“
“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.
He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.
His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.
“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.
“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.
“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”
“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”
“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.
“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..
“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”
“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”
Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.
“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.
You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.
“I bet” you joke with him.
“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.
“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.
“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.
“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.
“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”
“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink
“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.
“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”
He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.
-
Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.
Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.
“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.
Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.
“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.
“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.
He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”
“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.
Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.
“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.
“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.
Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.
Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.
Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.
Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.
“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.
“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.
“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.
“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.
“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.
“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.
“yea” he nods.
“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.
“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”
“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.
“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”
“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.
“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.
“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.
“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.
Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.
“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.
“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.
“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”
He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.
You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.
“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.
“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.
“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.
“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.
“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.
“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.
You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.
“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.
“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.
“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.
You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 
His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.
“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.
“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.
“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”
“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.
“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,
“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.
Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.
After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.
“where are they going?” you huff.
“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.
You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.
“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.
“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”
“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.
You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.
“any reason why?” he leans back again.
“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”
“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.
You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.
“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.
You open your mouth to speak but-
“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.
“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.
“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.
“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.
“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.
His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.
“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.
“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.
“what the-” he splutters laughingly.
“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.
He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.
“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.
“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.
“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.
“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.
“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.
The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.
You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"
He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.
"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.
You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.
His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.
You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.
He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.
You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.
“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.
“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.
Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.
“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.
Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.
“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.
“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.
“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.
For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.
“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.
-
This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.
But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.
You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.
A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.
But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.
You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.
Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.
“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.
“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.
“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.
“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.
You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.
“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“
“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.
“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”
You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.
“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.
“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.
“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.
“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.
 October
You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.
When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.
lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm
You roll your eyes, typical you think.
you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm
You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.
lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm
You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.
“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.
“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.
“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.
“hi” you smile timidly.
“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.
“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”
“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”
“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.
“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.
“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.
You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.
“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.
You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.
-
“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.
Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”
“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.
After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.
“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.
“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.
“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.
“why?” you ask back.
“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.
“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.
“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.
“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”
You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.
“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.
He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”
You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”
“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.
You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.
Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.
“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.
A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.
He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.
You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.
“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?
Yes. Yes you do.
So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.
“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.
“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.
Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.
He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.
“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.
He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.
“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.
You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.
“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.
He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.
“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.
“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.
“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.
“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.
“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.
Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.
“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.
-
“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.
Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.
“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.
“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.
“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.
“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.
“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.
“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“
“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”
You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.
“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.
“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.
“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.
“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.
“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.
“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.
“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.
“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.
“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”
You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”
She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”
“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.
“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.
“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”
“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.
“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.
“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.
“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.
“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.
Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”
  November
 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.
You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.
“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..
You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.
“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.
You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.
His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.
“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.
You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.
“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.
You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.
“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.
After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.
You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.
“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.
“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.
He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”
“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.
“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.
“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.
You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.
“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.
Woah, wait.
You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.
Mayday. Abort mission.
“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.
You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.
“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”
“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.
“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”
“shut up” you chuckle.
“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.
“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.
You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.
“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.
“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.
"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.
“alright, see ya” you shrug."
And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?
You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.
“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.
“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.
“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.
“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.
“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.
“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”
“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”
“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.
 -
 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.
“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.
“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…
“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.
“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.
“wow, hi” you hug him back.
Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.
You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.
By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.
After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.
His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.
“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”
He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.
“so do you” he grins.
“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”
“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.
“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.
“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”
“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.
“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.
“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.
“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.
“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.
“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.
“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.
“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.
“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.
“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.
You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.
“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.
“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.
-
 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.
“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.
“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.
“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.
Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.
Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.
You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.
“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.
“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.
“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.
“on me” he smiles down at you.
“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.
Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.
“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.
“who?” you ask curiously.
“tim” he grins.
“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.
“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.
“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip
“what?” you chuckle.
“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”
“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”
“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.
“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.
“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.
“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.
“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.
“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.
“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”
“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.
“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.
“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.
“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.
“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.
You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.
When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.
You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.
When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.
That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.
“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”
But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.
However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.
They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.
Oh.
There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.
“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.
The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-
“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.
“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.
You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.
“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.
You force out a smile.
“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.
“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.
“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.
“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.
“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.
“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.
Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.
“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.
“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.
“true” jisung quips.
“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.
“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.
You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.
“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.
“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.
“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.
“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.
“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.
“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”
“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.
“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.
“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.
You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.
“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.
“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.
After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”
“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.
“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.
“alight see you later” chan nods.
“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.
“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.
 December
”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“
“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”
You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.
“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.
“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”
“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.
-
You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.
“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.
Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.
Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.
“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.
You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.
“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.
After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.
The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.
Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.
“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”
“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.
“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.
“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.
“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.
“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.
A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.
“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.
“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”
“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.
“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.
You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 
A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.
You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.
He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.
“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.
“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.
“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.
A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.
The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.
“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.
“nice” he grins, nodding at you.
“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.
“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.
“from the front row, baby”
-
a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)
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taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie
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papers4me · 3 years
Text
Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 107- 108
se03, ep 6 is weakest ep in se03 despite it being tohru’s long waited focus & having the biggest plot keys & character impactful moments & one of the best pining hug scenes in anime history “ thro the laundry sheets at sunset”. Reading the chapter that starts this ep in the manga made me feel so happy & so angry.. I lament all the subtle yet effective changes & the powerful character-influenced changes that the anime ditched for cheap drama or unexplained wide shot.
-The Art of Subtlety: Power Resides in Words:
In se03, ep 6 when tohru tells kyo that Isuzu will be staying at Kazuma’s, kyo responds that” then Master won’t feel lonely”. Meaning after his imprisonment. Huge gut wrenching moment since kyo doesnt know that tohru knows abt his imprisonment.
The anime chooses to displayed it in their mandatory style of “ kyoru-moment inside shigure house : which is widen the shot so much to include yuki & shigure & flatten the emotional impact to include other characters reaction that has nothing to do with the moment itself... They never consider zooming into the kyo-tohru reactions to their words, then widen the moment o include yuki, shigure, the tv, the woods, kyoko’s grave or the moon if they want to.. Complete lack of understanding of the emotional impact. This isn’t abt romantic lovey dovey moment. This is abt character development. The biggest loser i this design is : Tohru’s emotions. God, I hate how bland she is in the anime in regards to situations that affect HER.
Also, the anime chooses to squeeze in another moment here, which is kyo’s reaction to tohru’s grave visit & still lacks in showing the emotional depth even here & opted for what? yup! you guessed it. Widen the shot to include yuki & shigure. At this point I wonder why kyo & tohru didnt adopt yuki & shigure & took them with them in their house by the end of the story. To complete the tradition of these two poor guys witnessing everything..-_-’. Jokes aside, This doesn't just affect kyo-tohru. But also reflects badly at shigure & yuki. They become an unwanted third-wheels without proper plot or character driven reason. In good story-telling “ forced-third wheeling has a purpose!!”, such as to transfusion to the 3rd character moment or to be later used for the 3rd character driving emotional moment. not just a reminder that characters X & Y live here & therefore see this & that.. This is an example of missing the impactful design of the moment. I dont even understand how can someone miss such basic story-telling devices... 
Lets look at only 3 panels from the manga:
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See how in the above panels in the focus is on tohru’s emotions. This is Tohru’s focus why not show her emotions instead of her stupid wide eyed, new eye lashes face & zooming out on tohru to include yuki for no reason!!!!! The anime is capable of focusing on characters pain, we saw that wioth yuki dozens of times. The anime is capable of focusing on showing facial emotions, we saw this with kyo in all his focused eps! Why can’t they give tohru half of that.. Just look, she looks like spacing out thinking of what to cook~ lala~ gotta feed the boys.!! zoom out on her & her purpose on the story~~~~~
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-The power of words is unbelievable~~
Kyo’s little sentence of being happy Isuzu will stay with kazuma, destroyed tohru. Look how the manga makes tohru continues to think abt it. You might wonder why will the author do this? The author is building towards tohru realizing her romantic love & uncovering her traumatic attachment to her mom. Reminds you of sth? the 6 or 7 eps that se02 dedicated to yuki where every sentence established his journey towards facing his emotions. In se02, yuki thought abt the words of many characters until he reached his conclusion. The anime refused to give tohru ONE sentence.
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-Powerful Character-Influenced Moments:
The manga made rohru leave screaming abt wanting the curse to break before spring. Why? because (a) tohru must be giving time to think abt HERSELF, not the cat or the curse, so tohru wander around thinking abt her mom, we saw that in the anime.  the the moment of shigure tells tohru abt the zodiacs ugly spirit & delight at seeing the cat suffers happens right before kyo finds crying tohru. Why? because (a) it was established that kyo will visit kazuma, so no weird out of no where lover finds lover in the streets for loving support moment, (b) to make kyo’s emotional support to tohru reasonable. In the anime, he saw her crying & comforted her assuming she cried cuz of the grave visit or sth, it was never hinted at anything, cuz kyo never gets any inner thoughts until it is his dramatic moments, but here he comforts her cuz he thinks she’s upset abt Isuzu, why oh why you write this thing out??????????????????????????????????
Not enough eps? but you gave motoko half an ep?!!! Why write off your main protagonist? I dont get it??? why intentional make tohru one-denominational character. Either yuki’s momma or a girl in love.... Is that what women are for the anime? a caring loving mothers & good lovers?
-Shigure’s words are to tohru are so watered down in the anime. Here he connects everything to the major plot of “ zodiacs turing into cute animals ” premise of the story, this is not sth cute as the early story made it out yo be. I love this!!!! why the anime cut it! Tohru screams when shigure brings an unavoidable question. Ask yuki & the the others whom tohru loves & believes they’re the kindest. Ask them of they KNOW kyo will be locked & are relieved! so cruel & shocking thing to thin abnt that shatters tohru’s world! shigure knows tohri will NEVER ask! so true to his character! epic moment! My best shigure-tohri moment! both of them NOT hiding anything & both in theit lowest moment!!  INGENUOUS WRITING!!! so plot-worthy!!! WHY CUT IT!!!
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Kyo finds tohru cuz he saw her sad! bringing the realistic aspect of story-telling & ditching the dunb superficial coincidence.
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Look at how tohru uncovers her trauma little by little:
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parallel between loosing her mom & loosing kyo. By showing this, the readers/ viwer will begin to be prepared to question tohru’s “ I cant love mom more than kyo”. The following chapters will for sure dive into this deeper, writing tohru as more understandably, more flawed., more real. Nothing like a the fixer for grown men, nothing like an angelic mom, nothing like the princess saved by the prince’s love. Basically, nothing like her shallow anime self.
Side Notes:
I was right abt the anime wanting to close Isuzu & Haru’s arc in ep 5, cuz in this chapter we have a lil scene that is the follow up with their plotline. Haru wanting to thank Kureno & asing Isuzu to never risk herself. It’s the little things that add depth to characters.. but I get it Haru in se03 can no longer support yuki cuz yuki have Kakeru, so his plotline is reduced to isuzu’s lover & that was closed in ep 5. Isuzu still had few things to add to the plot in ep 6 which is be tohru’s unfiltered deep talk partner. 
The sad reality of the anime focusing on wide shots lost us yet another good emotional impact besides kyo-tohru moments. This time, we lost kazuma’s reaction to isuzu being held in cat’s room & haru/yuki’s reaction to kazuma’s sadness.. The anime gives us wide shot to include all the room. so,Screw haru & yuki’s reaction???.. they dont care abt the cat? is that it? nope, cuz this reasoning requires emotional depth of hate & disgust. The anime just loves wide shots “ so artistic~” but the real reason, the anime is flying in bullet speed in this ep to include as much as it can to save place for the “ new added moment of kyoru’s united shock” & still include the intro & outro... yep, ep6 is the weakest ep in design...
More on ep 6 in the following chapters, I guess. I’ll stop here this time. I’m so mad.. I’ll calm down & read the flowing two chapters later to articylate proper thoughts.
 I hate hate how tohru was done so dirty! I’m loving everything abt her so far in the manga, but when I remember her in the anime! ugh! I still love kyo & yuki’s anime stories. But tohru, nope. I stopped loving her in se02 once the beach arc is over & she became a full mother to yuki & nothing more. I adore her character & she’s so endearing, but My God, she’s so bland in the anime, just the lightest version of her manga self... so light, it’s a shame she’s a protagonist...
I really wonder how manga readers feel abt the lack of tohru’s focus & lost emotional depth? is tohru even popular in the manga days? I know kyo is popular & i know lots adore yuli’s growth. but what abt tohru? I’m curious how manga readers felt watching her butchered arc in se03?
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agent-cupcake · 3 years
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IDK why but yandere prompt 10 screams sylvain to me! it's okay if you dont wanna do this one, though. thank you for opening requests! ive really enjoyed all your writings
10. “I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t have you.”
Sylvain didn’t greet you when you took a seat beside him, ready for the meeting to be called. Agriculture wasn’t a particular interest of yours, but it was a part of your duty as the wife of an important, land-owning lord to be invested in the affairs of Gautier territory. For his part, your husband didn’t seem terribly enthused. Just as you were about to ask if he was okay, he spoke.
“Who was he?” Sylvain asked in a would-be casual voice, low enough to be lost in the mindless chatter of the slowly filling council room.
The question usually went something like that, innocuous but pointed enough for you to know where it was headed. And you knew who and what he was referring to, knew it so intently that you felt a completely unreasonable stab of guilt because you knew how Sylvain was, how he might have interpreted your interaction with one of the male mages working on the current project. As familiar as the question was, you couldn’t immediately guess the tone. Sylvain was tricky, always masking his intentions behind playful masks and a glip front.  
“Who?” you asked, playing dumb. That sometimes worked. If it seemed like you were innocent, he might drop it and move on. It would be incriminating if you admitted that you knew what he meant right away. And if he was just teasing, playing around to fill the part of the protective husband, you didn’t mind the role of the oblivious wife. Really, you wished you were that type of woman. Blind to the world, and especially the men, around you. Everything would be so much easier.
"That guy you were talking to,” Sylvain explained, dangerously nonchalant. “The two of you seemed pretty close.”
“Really? We only met… Mmm, last week?” you replied, refusing to meet his eye or become flustered. That would just make you seem guilty. Which you weren’t. “He’s from Fhirdiad, one of the mages who are working on solutions to fertilizing the soil in the fields near the Fraldarius border.” You hesitated, searching for something to add, something to change the subject and ease the tension. “Um, the tests so far have been really encouraging. They’re thinking that next spring they can have at least half of that land ready for production.”
"Yeah, I heard about that,” Sylvain said, nodding off your attempt to distract him. “I was just asking ‘cause you were laughing pretty hard.”
There it was. Sylvain’s tone, as you had come to know quite intimately, was cool, a little stiffer than his usual way of speaking. Lacking inflection. It was always like that with him. He never told you outright when he thought or felt or explained his stark shift in demeanor, always skirting around the subject with those needling little questions, maintaining his façade of indifference even as a storm brewed behind his dark eyes. Once, what felt like a lifetime ago, he told you that he’d never experienced jealousy before you. He told you that it hurt. Was this pain? Was that what made everything so uneasy and uncomfortable, leaving you scrambling to find the words to ease his mind?
You forced a faint smile, clinging to your innocence. “Was I?”
“Yeah,” Sylvain said, clearly not buying it. If anything, his eyes just narrowed. “You were.”
“We were just discussing his work. If I was laughing, I don’t…” You shook your head, forcing a shrug. “Please don’t get the wrong idea.”
“The wrong idea?” he asked. “I was just wondering who he is.”
“For no reason,” you said, some of your frustration leaking through.
“Yeah, sure, for no reason,” Sylvain agreed in an amicably flat tone. “Although now I’m curious about why you’re so defensive.” He paused, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “I guess he was kinda handsome. Are you worried I’m jealous?”
“That’s not-”
“‘Cause I’m not…” he insisted. “Unless there’s a reason I should be.”
There wasn’t. There never was. You never thought like that. But he did. Sylvain always did, those too keen eyes of his following you around, waiting for you to slip up in some way, to do something for him to misinterpret in the most uncharitable ways he could. Even if it was ignored, unspoken, willed out of existence through the sheer force of his adoration, yours was not a relationship born out of the stuff of romantic novels or even the clumsy affections of young lovers. For as obsessively insistent he once was in proving your own feelings to you, sometimes it was like Sylvain didn’t believe it when you told him you loved him and only him. Because there was a time―such a long time ago, hardly worth remembering―when you didn’t mean it. Even though you did now, that memory was his constant anxiety, an endless tension lingering right below the surface.
“I don’t want to fight,” you finally said, spreading your hands out in an attempt to de-escalate the situation, to convince him of your innocence. “I swear that it meant nothing. But… but if it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t talk to him again. I really, honestly don’t care.”
“Sheesh, you make me sound like I’m some sort of control freak,” Sylvain said with an air of coolly playful offense, leaning back in his chair. “Why would you even assume I’m trying to fight?”
“I don’t-”
“I’m not,” he said before you could really respond. Not loudly, never loud enough to draw any unnecessary attention to the two of you. Sylvain always knew exactly how to skirt the line of propriety in public. “It’s not like it’s even my business who you talk to. I’m only your husband. No big deal, really.”
“It is!” you insisted, heat burning at the back of your eyes. Realizing you’d spoken a bit too loud, you softened your voice, glancing around the room to ensure nobody heard the slip-up. “You are. Of c-course you are.” Maybe it was the trembling of your bottom lip as you stared hard at the table to fight off the tears burning your eyes that made regret flash over Sylvain’s face. Sometimes, when he was in a very particular type of mood, your crying only spurred him on, but not now.
“H-hey,” Sylvain told you, leaning close and draping his arm across your shoulders. “Don’t cry. I was just playing around. Guess I let it go too far.” Now he seemed apologetic, looking at you with a sheepish smile.
You met his eyes, confusion and distress giving away to understanding. Of course Sylvain had only been pretending. And you had been overreacting, always too sensitive to this kind of thing. Embarrassment followed the momentary emotional lapse, frustration that you wouldn’t just go along with his antics and had to go and make it all weird. Relief, too. It was just pretend, after all. He wasn’t upset with you.
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” Sylvain asked sweetly, pulling you towards him with the arm around your shoulders, his soft voice tickling your ear.
“You’re too mean,” you told him. But the words weren’t serious. They made him smile fondly, such a dramatic shift from the Sylvain of only minutes before.
“I’ve gotta keep you on your toes,” he said. “You never know what’s going on in the heads of pretty girls like you. I mean, imagine if I lost you to a guy who studies dirt. I’d never live it down.”
“That’s ridiculous,” you told him, leaning into the half embrace.
“Isn’t it? But, you know, I can’t help it.” Sylvain leaned in even closer, speaking in such a low, intimate way that it definitely pushed the lines of propriety, even for him. “I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t have you.”      
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tundrainafrica · 3 years
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Hey! I hope you're well. I started watching AOT and realized that levihan was a ship. And after reading the manga Ive come to the conclusion that they were more than friends if not just friends. Mostly because I saw Levi act with Isabella, a friend and a sister of sorts even Farlan. But with Hange he was just different. And thats what made me feel maybe it really was something more. He was a different Levi with her. All the teasing and the overprotectiveness, the unnecessary sass and hostility sometimes, but that makes me wonder WHY? Why was he like this towards her? And when was the moment he fell for her or decided to befriend her that way that yes I will tease this person from now on. At first I thought its because of how they met maybe but their first meeting was so sweet. Hange seemed impressed by him and he even thanked her for her compliments. I didnt think their interaction would lead to something like this. So what are your thoughts because I wonder alot on this. Over what would have attracted Levi to hange. My sister also watched it and she theorizes that its Levi who liked her and Hange was too much in love with titans to notice. Also can someone pls tell me why Levi looks at her that way in aot 4 when hange meets the kids with him and says if they dont understand us we'll meet them and teach them. Like. What happened?
Anon,
This is such an interesting ask. Apologies for taking my sweet time with this. I’m currently a mess rn, (as if I’m not everyday but I try).
All the teasing and the overprotectiveness, the unnecessary sass and hostility sometimes, but that makes me wonder WHY? Why was he like this towards her?
Okay this is actually an easy question to answer and I’m pretty sure this has been touched upon already in multiple children’s and young adult books.
There are certain people when faced with attraction or first love who tend to clam up while still inexperienced. Attraction for people who aren't used to it tends to feel like frustration or a certain need to get someone’s attention and because of that, some people release it as unnecessary sass or hostility towards someone.
I mean it’s been mentioned countless times before that the opposite of love isn’t hate. It's apathy. Love and hate aren’t so different from each other because whether you love or hate someone, that person takes up brain space, that person has power over their haters and their lovers.
That’s why I think, if this is the first time Levi particularly felt attracted to someone, to Hange, maybe he would end up manifesting those types of emotions like he did in the initial parts of the story. He wouldn’t know if it’s attraction yet, he wouldn’t even think it was this need to make friends with her.
Maybe he ended up letting it out as just some sort of whack way because it was his first time feeling that way for someone and the only important thing is he did get her attention and he did get to talk to her.
I wrote about this in my fic Passion Project.
What are your thoughts because I wonder alot on this. Over what would have attracted Levi to hange.
There are multiple reasons why Levi would be attracted to Hange.
She was the first person in the underground to approach him, Isabel and Farlan and actually treat them like people
They ended up working closely together. They’re stationed nearby and this is a convenient place for a friendship to bloom, maybe even a romance with the right circumstances.
Hange is extremely laid back, I honestly think that even if their personalities did clash, she ended up pulling Levi out of his shell somehow by challenging his own values.
The fact that they are forced to work closely with each other while being complete opposites with a different sets off values gave them a good setting to build something. At the same time they have a similar set of fundamental beliefs and paired with clashing personalities actually gives them a really good grounds for a romance to develop because they each constantly have someone challenging their values and beliefs in all fronts but at the same time, when they dig deep enough, they realize they're not so different.
Number four is pretty much my favorite way to explore Levihan romances and is one of the reasons I prefer it more than other pairings. I prefer seeing relationships where people are forced to work together and change, adjust and grow in the process of getting to know each other since their beliefs and their personalities are constantly challenged.
And why did Levi stare at Hange like that when she suggested they go to Marley? ;)
Well, they were the only vets left, they are forced to work more closely together. They only have each other. I’m 99% sure their relationship has developed at that time. Romantically or Platonically? That’s up to the reader but either way, I think their relationship experienced substantial growth during that time.
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helisol · 3 years
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dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now
okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart
so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.
their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.
but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.
it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.
so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.
because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.
this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,, 
you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?
dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.
he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi! 
he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!
let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second. 
Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.
Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.
its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!
its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”
his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.
anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.
with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose. 
and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.
I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.
and that man is Odo.
a few things on him:
Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.
like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right? 
with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”
but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)
so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.
and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.
In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer.  and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.
If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right? 
but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!
Imagine you’re Odo. 
Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?
But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.
It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.
But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.
He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.
So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.
because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.
If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.
but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.
and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.
and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person. 
because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.
but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.
so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me”  for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?
but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.
he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!
on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!
so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.
and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.
The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.
We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.
And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo. 
Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.
So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.
and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”
this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.
even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.
The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.
like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.
What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?
What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?
What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?
with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.
anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.
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deleteddewewted · 3 years
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Incel!Shinsou Oneshot: "Why are you acting like that?”
To keep busy I just thought that a oneshot of Shinsou getting self conscious/needy would be cute since we already have his redemption arc rolling in. The next part of the Incel!Shinsou series (Part 3) will have him proving his worth at the Sports Festival. So in thinking of how he will prove himself to you I thought of how will all of those people affect him, especially you. ( This oneshot takes place pre changes, so Shinsou is still his disgusting self but he's figuring out how to woo a woman, especially of your caliber.)
Incel!Shinsou Series:
Part 1: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader
Part 2: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader
Incel!Shinsou Headcanons
"I know what you're doin' here. Made your intentions clear. Oh you, you terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Beautiful thing"
TW: Strong Language, Mild Sexism
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People were never an obstacle when it came to the things Shinsou wanted. He’s aware that others would do anything for him if he played his cards right. The right words with the right question did wonders for him. So why the fuck couldn’t he have what he wanted when it came to you? You drove him up the wall with the kindness you showed him. He didn’t deserve it and you’re existence almost felt like a punishment from whatever deity that existed out there to make him suffer. You guys were suppose to be studying for your upcoming project that required a poster, a slide show, and one influential person that would help prove your projects point. You left him running circles within his own mind as to how you were so willing to challenge him. He wanted you to obey him not see through his bullshit. It wasn’t like you didn’t listen to him vent, or didn't give him attention, but he wanted to hold you under his control. To be the person you listened to.
In class you where both seated on the extreme ends of the room on opposite sides. You never realized this (you do), but his head would periodically turn towards your direction to look at you, to figure you out (liar). This time, you managed to catch him do it.
“What are you doing?” You asked plainly. You honestly didn’t care that he was staring, everyone does when you dress like you're attending an MCR concert in the middle of autumn.
“You look different....today.”
“Nice.” It was difficult to care. Shinsou was just some guy in your class that you had to deal with. Nothing special really....ok, maybe it wasn’t fully true. You didn’t really know him all that well or anything (Unless it was mocking and belittling everything you did, that was normal behavior for him so it wasn’t surprising to find out he was like that outside of campus.) but he wasn’t all that bad? If he cared for himself a bit more, hygiene wise he would be considered handsome or at least a competent human being (you weren't going to call him a man, men don't act this childish. At least the ones you knew.) Maybe then you would take his opinion seriously, but for now you’ll ignore his...interesting comments he's been throwing towards you today.
“It’s rude to ignore someone when their talking to you, you know?” The neutral face he had now possessed a frown and a furrow to his brows. You still couldn’t process how he took the time to make sure his hair stayed purple but didn’t care for his body odor. (This man dyes his hair purple yet cant bother to shower or use deodorant for once in his life.)
“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just not interested in anything you have to say.” With that you get up and take your things and leave. There was no point in wasting time on someone who couldn’t even look at you directly and had to also sneak glances at you. "Do I really look that unbearable?" you thought to yourself. In the end you didn’t care anymore, everyone was entitled to an opinion and the last thing you need is feeling self conscious because of your out of place classmate.
Shinsou was fuming. How the fuck did you just get up and leave his ass while he was trying to complement you. You should have been more appreciative that he was giving you his attention for once. A bitch like you wasn't even worth it so he doesn't understand why he even tried with you.
He never goes directly home after school but instead to the local theater. It was one of the few places where he could be around others and could genuinely be himself. It was weird, he didn't feel like himself when he was speaking with his "friends", friends that he's never spoken to verbally, never seen, and never would meet. He knew that he didn't deserve this, to have a safe haven when he acts like an ass, yet here he was.
"Good morning Shinsou! How are you? Are you ready for rehearsals? You did remember to read your lines, right?" Shinsou rolls his eyes at his theater mates antics. Monoma never seems to stop but he does know when to tone it down and when it comes to Shinsou he tones it down a bit. (Because Monoma is canonically considerate of others, look back the Sports Festival and the Joint Training Arc.)
"Im good man, yes i did read and memorized the script, dont worry about it." What an odd friendship, the most chaotic gentleman like man out the bunch with the quietist incel in the group. Shinsou should have seen it coming when he was adopted by Monoma but he's running on 2 to 4 hours of sleep so he doesn't really care.
Believe it or not Shinsou does take showers (only for theater) but very quickly and with no care (no shampoo or soap, fucking why man.) Theater means more to him and so making his character look the best they possible can was his first and foremost priority. He puts on his costume, gets to makeup (the minimum, because it's "gay" for him to wear makeup and since the world is unfair and cruel he has perfect skin for a greasy headed asshole.)
"Everyone get a move on! Kodai, Tsuburaba, and Awase! Go to stage left! Light techs, how's it up there?" One of the tech heads shouted out. Shinsou and Monoma got to their positions on the stage and the rehearsals began.
Love, the play was about love. Love that wasn't rejected but also not accepted. He didn't understand the concept fully. Was it romantic? Platonic? Familiar? Admiration? He loved his dad, but he mostly admired him. He worked long hours and middle resents him for not being there for him, yet he realizes that his dad works to give him the world, a home with all the things he wanted. He never had a mother so he never had parental or familiar, again his dad was there but he wanted a parent that would hold him when he came back from school everyday. He didn't have a girlfriend, so he doesn't know romantic. So far all of his characters where villains, or evil in some way. He was starting to get sick of them. Shinsou wanted something more, wanted to play a character that wasn't how everyone saw him as on his day to day life. He wanted a challenge, he wanted....affection. Just to show it. He wanted attraction. Just to abuse it. He wanted...love. To just...maybe...feel...enjoy...understand it.
"You terrible thing you. My love, you're so cold. You've left me hanging on every one of your words. You've made me loose my self, lose my self-control because of you!" He pours everything into his performance, his loneliness, his regrets, his experience. He's been told by his co-performers and directors that he has a great future in the arts, in theater. If he just took care of himself more he would be an amazing actor, not only incredibly talented but also attractive. He would have the world kneeling, bowing to him just from his words alone. He could have anything he wanted just because of his existence.
" You've made me do things i don't want to do...for you." Kodai stands there looking horrified. He's covered in blood, the blood of her lover, the one she left him for.
"No, i-i didn't-"
"YOU MADE ME-MADE DO THIS FOR YOU! You terrible, terrible, terrible thing! You beautiful thing, I've done this for you!...and you still cant and won't love me." He doesn't see Kodai anymore. It's not her face he sees, nor her voice that he hears.
Its you...its your voice. You. You looking back at him while he slowly lowered himself to kneel and crawl towards you. It's you who backs away from him as he starts to cry and hiccup.
"You wreck me, you made me. You leave me in your wake, please let me go!" He sees you and feels you grabbing his wrists back, pushing him into himself.
"Don't you ever let me go...."
You terrible beautiful thing, you.
And here we are again. This was a lot fun to write since it feels more concrete when it comes towards his personality and his full thought process. In many cases people like Shinsou just want attention or some sense of validation, which there is nothing wrong with wanting those things but it's more about the manner you go about it. You shouldn't pressure or force others to spend time with you, but there is always someone out there that will like to give you those things.
Tag list: @blossominglark
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azucanela · 3 years
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SKIN DEEP DECEPTION 
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PAIRING: TSUKISHIMA KEI X READER [SOULMATE AU]
SUMMARY: In a world where the number of lies your soulmate tells each day is written in your wrist, Y/N has found that her soulmate has two moods. No lies, or dozens at a time. 
WARNINGS:​ CURSE WORDS (WH*RE). ANGST. MILD VIOLENCE. 
WORD COUNT: 4K.
A/N: happy anniversary? marriage? engagement? @bbykutos​​ <3 this is my first time writing an au so pls lmk how i did and uhhh idk i feel like this is bad
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HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST
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IN A WORLD FILLED WITH LIES only one person knew when you were really telling the truth. That person being your soulmate. Though it’s not always a lover, that tended to be the most common occurrence when it came to soulmates. The whole point of soulmates had been to have someone perfect for you, though this wasn’t always the case of course. 
Growing up, Y/N had always viewed soulmates as a false ideal, a distant fantasy, though the number on her wrist was confirmation enough that soulmates existed— that didn’t mean they were truly meant to be. 
She’d learnt that the hard way. 
At times, kids would find their soulmates in their first year of school; which normally went either really well or really poorly. Others in high school, college, some mundane moment at a coffee shop or a more dramatic one at one of the biggest moments of their lives. Sometimes it was romantic, other times it was chaotic, or just plain dull. Most of the times finding your soulmate meant catching them in the midst of a lie... several times. Sometimes people found love, an enemy, or... they just found their soulmate.
Y/N wasn’t the only person who’d become rather apathetic towards the whole idea, though there was no denying the small part of her— in the back of her mind, the part she’d tried so hard to bury— that hoped, that wished, that dreamed of a soulmate who cared for her. 
And yet, even her own parents were an example of this false ideal. 
Not that it mattered, seeing as she was yet to meet her soulmate. There was no reason to dwell on it, that had become abundantly clear to Y/N, and yet here she was, allowing her mind to wander as she stared— maybe even glared— at her wrist in class. 
“I need to use the restroom.” 
The word’s pull her out of her daze, eyes rising back up to the board where her teacher stands— smile on her face as she replies, “of course! Go on ahead.” Y/N’s eyes trail over to the student in question, the blonde boy seated beside her, Tsukishima Kei. She was familiar with him seeing as they’d gone to the same middle school. He also happened to be the class’ star pupil due to his stellar intellect.
With a frown, Y/N exhales deeply and looks back down only to come face to face with the number on her wrist having increased by one.
1 lie so far today, huh. 
Most days Y/N had found that the lies didn’t start piling up until the afternoon, other times there were slim to none, and assuming they were in high school as well— what were they lying about. It truly left her baffled at what in the world they could be saying. Aside from this curiosity, the thought of her soulmate returned to the back of her mind as a hand tapped her shoulder, drawing her out of her thoughts once more.  
A green haired boy stands beside her— she recognizes him, Yamaguchi Tadashi. They’d been friends in middle school and remained so when they’d entered high school, though they weren’t as close as they used to be, Yamaguchi had tried and failed to keep it that way. 
The bitter memories resurface, though Y/N simply pushes them to the back of her mind alongside all the over thoughts she doesn’t want to address as she turns to Yamaguchi with a smile, “hey Yamaguchi, what’s up?”
He offers her a nervous smile, eyes flickering across the room before returning to her before he replies, “I was wondering if you wanted to be in my group?”
Tilting her head at him, a small laugh escapes Y/N as she asks, “group?”
For a moment Yamaguchi’s brows furrow, though his eyes drift towards her single rolled up sleeve, the number one displayed on it, “oh! We have a group project for the next few weeks.” Comes his response.
“Project...” Y/N mumbles out, eyes scanning the room as she watches people enter clusters of three, talking and writing things down in their journal— even exchanging numbers. “Right.”
She had a feeling that Tsukishima’s sunny disposition hadn’t done them any favors when it came to getting other members to join their group projects. Coupled with Yamaguchi’s need to end all conflict between his friends.
That must be how they ended up here. 
Opening her mouth to speak, Y/N quickly shut it as she searched for the right words, bringing an arm to the back of her neck as she scratched it awkwardly. “I just don’t know if that would be the best idea—”
“If what would be the best idea?” Behind Yamaguchi comes Tsukishima, hands shoved into his pockets as he looks between them.
Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Y/N looks away, brows furrowing as memories begin to surface. Seeing as the last time they’d interacted, Tsukishima had elected to use some... crude words. Well, Y/N had expected awkwardness when they inevitably spoke to each other once more, and the fact that he seemed to unfazed left her wanting to wipe the smirk off his face.
Preferably in a violent way.
Yamaguchi seems to answer for her as he replies, “well I was thinking since we need groups of three, Y/N would just join us.” Yamaguchi looks between the pair before saying, “like old times.”
Y/N wants to gag.
Moving to stand, she offers Yamaguchi a tight lipped smile, “I’ll probably join a different group but—”
“There are no other groups.” Tsukishima interrupts, though there’s no emotion in his words, as though he’s simply stating a fact. Because clearly, he doesn’t care. 
Inhaling deeply, Y/N nods slowly, looking between the both of them before saying, “well you both have my number.” The bell rings, and Y/N can’t help but let out a sigh of relief as she continues, “text me about the project whenever.” Before immediately grabbing her bag from beside her desk and swinging it over her shoulder.
Tsukishima is watching as she leaves, a sigh escaping him as he adjusts his glasses before turning to Yamaguchi, “you’ll need to make a group chat.” 
“Why?” He asks, brows furrowing as he pulls at his phone to do so regardless, fingers typing away at the screen.
Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Tsukishima shrugs, “she has me blocked.”
Yamaguchi pauses his typing, sighing. Though he doesn’t look up at Tsukishima as he replies, “Of course she does— well I would too.” Yamaguchi exhales deeply, “you should apologize to her.” 
It had always been a touchy subject in their friendship, the way that Tsukishima had elected to end— more accurately, ruin — his friendship with Y/N. Though Yamaguchi wasn’t there to hear what he’d said himself, he’d heard it had been pretty bad from others. After all, Tsukishima had received his first, second and third punch to the face that day.
It was deserved. 
“Yeah.” Comes his reply, shoving his hands back into his pockets. 
In an attempt to combat the uncomfortable silence between them, Yamaguchi asks, “so where’d you go?” 
A smirk breaks out on Tsukishima’s face, “not the bathroom that’s for sure.”
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THE NEXT TIME TSUKISHIMA KEI TEXTS Y/N, the message actually goes through. For some reason he can’t bring himself to delete the ones that came before, the apologies from a year prior followed by his messages of realization that she had blocked him. 
Maybe it was the fact that his pride had taken a blow or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t want to know if he was forgivable, Tsukishima had never made any attempts to apologize fact to face. 
Actually, that’s a lie, he had. But he had chickened out last minute, the panic flooding his veins as he was faced with a situation almost identical to the one that had gotten him into the mess. Seeing her alongside the very person who had punched him in the face that day— well, the first person who had that is— a broad smile on her face.
And who was he to ruin that. Did he even want to know what she’d say? Would she call him ridiculous, a fool for even thinking an apology could mend anything between him?
Would hearing her voice one more time, even if it was just riddled with insults, be enough for closure? He’d done this to himself Tsukishima was well aware but that didn’t make him any less upset at the fact that he’d lost his best friend. 
He shakes his head, trying to get rid of those memories as he stares at the message, a simple:
hey, it’s tsukishima. 
He was fairly sure that not only had he been blocked he had also had his number deleted, so starting with an introduction seemed right.
we’re meeting at my house tmrw after school. yamaguchi and i have volleyball practice, you can wait for us at the gym or just head over to my house i dont care. 
There are so many implications to the message and they all leave Y/N’s head spinning, or maybe she was reading into it. She wasn’t sure at this point, but it was clear that Tsukishima was well aware that she still had the key to his front door. 
Y/N elected to show up to volleyball practice rather than face his mother alone.
Stepping into the gym, the sound of shows scrapping against the floor, and volleyballs hitting the ground at an almost rapid pace as people moved around the courts just as quickly.
Y/N scrunches up her nose as she’s hit with the smell of sweat, something to be expected in a gym of course, lips pressing together into a straight line as she steps further into the gym and looks to her left. There stands another girl, albeit slightly intimidating but she looked far more approachable than the other people around the gym 
“Excuse me?” 
She turns, brows furrowing slightly at the sight of Y/N before offering her a smile and asking, “hey. How can I help you?”
Smiling back— albeit awkwardly— Y/N replies, “I’m waiting for someone,” Y/N quickly realizes that isn’t much information as she adds, “someone in this club. Actually, two people— that’s beside the point. Is there anywhere I can just sit, until the end?”
Once more her brows furrow, “our practices tend to go on pretty long, especially since some of the boys like extra work and we have a few practice games coming up.” Shaking her head slightly, the girl gestures to the bench beside her, “you can sit here with me, I’m Kiyoko by the way.”
“So who are you waiting for?”
“Oh, uh... Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi.”
Y/N finds herself coming by the gym more often after that day, although it isn’t because she has to walk back to Tsukishima’s house after with him and Yamaguchi, it’s because she finds herself enjoying Kiyoko’s presence. She’s a quiet girl, but she’s rather witty behind the scenes, and certainly and entertaining and fun person. And so were the other boys in the club.
They’d quickly become intrigued by the presence of another girl and—
“Another female manager? Nice!”
“Another manager? Why?”
“Kiyoko are you leaving us!?”
Okay so maybe Y/N had inadvertently joined the Boy’s Volleyball Club, but she really had nothing better to do with her time, much less with all the time she had between school and when the practice ended, allowing Tsukishima to go home with Yamaguchi and Y/N. But it’s not like it wouldn’t be over soon, right? The groups would only last two weeks and then Y/N would be free of her old— or more accurately, ex-friend.
Wrong, the groups became permanent. For the rest of year the students have to use them, for every single group project. Leaving Y/N to dread the class each time she entered due to the burning anticipation of a possible group project. Though Yamaguchi had made several attempts to approach Y/N since their last project ended just a few weeks prior, going as far as ditching Tsukishima entirely to sit with her at lunch some days.
Y/N entertained him, it’s not like she wanted to be rude or anything— not to Yamaguchi that is, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t been the one to randomly explode and call her a variety of... colorful words upon finding her with a friend last year. 
Neither Y/N nor Yamaguchi bring it up of course, how Tsukishima had driven her away with his crude words that she never expected would ever be directed towards her. 
But...
“We’ll be having another group project for the next two weeks!”
The conversation was inevitable. 
Y/N nearly rams her head into her desk as she sighs, eyes drifting upwards towards the ceiling as though that would solve any of her current problems, before looking back to Tsukishima with a rather sarcastic smile that he returns with one of his own. Yamaguchi on the other hand, is waving rather enthusiastically from his seat in the classroom, beaming. 
It’s not like it was a bad group. They got things done, and when grades were returned, they were good. It’s just that Tsukishima was... Tsukishima. And as annoying and rude as he was, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more annoyed with herself because she still couldn’t find it in herself to hate him. 
Backpack slung over her shoulder, Y/N exhales deeply as she looks back at Yamaguchi who remains at his porch, “make sure she gets home safe, Tsukki!”
“That’s really not necessary, Yams.” She assures, giving him a pointed look when Tsukishima turns around with a disinterested shrug. But of course. the boy waves her off, simply shoving her forwards with Tsukki, offering her a thumbs up and a smile. 
Y/N simply turns around and follows Tsukishima with a scowl, quickly moving ahead of him as she tugs her backpack strap tighter onto her shoulder. 
Tsukishima is rolling his eyes as she moves ahead of him, “how am I supposed to stop you from getting kidnapped when you’re a mile ahead of me?” He calls out to her, maintaining his pace. Y/N doesn’t reply, continuing on ahead, “Y/N.” He repeats, “Y/N.” Once more, she ignores him, until she hears his steps pick up behind her, a hand wrapping around her wrist and stopping her movements. 
“Yes Kei?” She exclaims in annoyance, turning back to him. Only for her mouth to gape open as she grimaces, “Tsukishima. I mean.”
He exhales deeply, looking away momentarily before saying, “I’m sorry.”
So, Y/N laughs. “Wow. Tsukishima Kei swallowing his pride to apologize? Impressive.” Tsukishima opens his mouth to reply, only for Y/N to speak first and say, “I hate you.” Before tearing her arm out of his grasp and stepping ahead once more.
Y/N isn’t looking at him as he replies, “no you don’t.”
And Tsukishima would’ve believed had he not looked to his wrist, the number rising with each insult Y/N spewed. Though there was no denying that he deserved it, but that didn’t stop the grimace that came on his face before he asked, “you done?”
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WHEN TSUKISHIMA FOUND OUT Y/N WAS HIS SOULMATE, it did not end well. He wasn’t really sure if he had a plan that day, but if he did it went out the window once he saw her with one of her friends from another school. Though Tsukishima had never met the boy in question, it didn’t take long for him to realize that Y/N liked him, whether that was platonic or not it didn’t matter. Because watching her laugh along with him in the convenience store only served as a reminder that there were people better than him.
Tsukishima had never considered himself insecure per se, much less an over thinker or anything of the sort. But the simple fact of the matter was, Y/N didn’t want him, she was stuck with him as his soulmate. 
And though she was blissfully unaware of this fact, why did that need to change? 
Perhaps she could be happier with that boy, with anyone other than him. Tsukishima had known Y/N for years and though he would never admit it, he respected her, he cared for her, long before he’d discovered they were soulmates. And prior to his discovery he’d always found the system idiotic, so why did his mindset have to change?
It was a bitter ideology, and a jealous and foolish reaction that put him in the place he’s in today. Though Tsukishima was fairly sure it only proved his point, that she deserved better, that didn’t make him any more remorseful of their friendship.
He’d nearly told her several times, like the blunt and straightforward person he is, Tsukishima had almost stopped her in the halls of school and simply said— “surprise! We’re soulmates. Sorry about calling you a whore and all, I was just jealous and bitter because I realized there are people out there better for you and somehow you got stuck with me!”
Yeah, that would’ve blown over real well. Tsukishima was fairly sure he would’ve received an addition hit to the face from her and Yamaguchi, again. 
Yamaguchi was not happy when he found out about the convenience store incident. At all. 
Tsukishima couldn’t recount many times when he was scared of Yamaguchi Tadashi, until his fist was flying towards his face. Of course, he laughed it off, wiping the blood from his nose, but that didn’t make it a fun experience by any means. 
Now, Tsukishima was just trying to amend things, slightly. It’s not like Y/N owed him any of her time, and it’s not like she needed to know that they were soulmates.
It would be better off that way for the both of them, or at least, that’s what Tsukishima told himself— much to Yamaguchi’s dismay. The boy had been urging Tsukishima to just tell her the truth, for a while now, to no avail. And when Tsukishima returned to class one day having discovered he would be in a group with her and Yamaguchi, well he couldn’t help but thing Yamaguchi was scheming. 
But looking up to Yamaguchi and Y/N, who are seated at the table of some café Y/N had insisted on coming to, Tsukishima can’t help but think it was worth it.
No, she didn’t need to know. 
And so, against her better judgement, Y/N had allowed things to return to normal. The same weekly hangouts they once had becoming daily because of volleyball practice each day, forcing Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Y/N together for even longer periods of time. Walks homes becoming progressively longer as they all speak amongst themselves— or more accurately, Y/N and Yamaguchi speak. Then again, Tsukishima had always been more of the quiet kind unless he had something witty to add on.
This revival of friendship meant the return of the late night calls as well, of course. Albeit, most of them filled with a comfortable silence that Y/N finds herself relishing in a she lays in bed, eyes glued to the time shining in the corner of her phone screen.
11:52PM.
Inhaling deeply, Y/N rolls over on her bed, tugging at her sleeve to pull it down and reveal the counter on her wrist. There have been a few lies today, though there hadn’t been any in the past few hours. In recent months the number had been fluctuating more which Y/N found... odd. 
Tsukishima seems to notice her shift in mood, though he doesn’t look up from his work as he asks, “what is it?” When Y/N doesn’t respond, he simply repeats himself, asking, “what’s wrong?
Y/N’s brows furrow as she huffs, bringing her arm back down and pushing herself up on her bed using her elbows before replying, “what do you mean?”
“The dramatic sigh.” Comes his reply, eyes still glued to the page in front of him as the sound of his pen moving against the paper fills his room.
Y/N looks to him on the screen incredulously as she scoffs, “it was not a dramatic sigh.”
A pause on his part as he looks down before replying, “I don’t even think you believe that Y/N.” He responds, rolling his eyes before adjusting his glasses at the bridge of his nose. 
Sometimes Y/N wondered how he’d always been able to do that, read her like a book. Was she truly that predictable? Grimacing, Y/N brushes away the thought, “nothing is wrong?” Her response sounds more like a question, leaving her cringing at her inability to lie.
Tsukishima raises a brow as he dryly responds, “that was convincing.”
Y/N just sighs again, eyes drifting to her wrist once more— the counter now reset to zero as the day starts anew— as she pauses, wondering if the conversation would be worth it. 
“Do you ever think of you soulmate, Tsukishima?”
His pen stops, and if Y/N was looking at the screen rather than her wrist, she would’ve seen the way he straightened in his seat as he replied, “no. I don’t.” He clears his throat, “no point in dwelling on someone I haven’t even met yet.”
Maybe Y/N would’ve replied had the counter not ticked up to 2 as he spoke. 
But it was a coincidence. It had to be a coincidence. 
“So... you haven’t met your soulmate yet?
Another moment of silence before he replies, “no.” With a sigh.
3.
Y/N brings a hand to clasp over her mouth, “you’re kidding me.” A bitter laugh escapes her, “you’re fucking kidding me.” Y/N finds herself inhaling deeply as she attempts to calm herself. “How long have you known?”
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Y/N WAS AVOIDING HIM, not that he didn’t deserve it, again. But that didn’t make it any better. Tsukishima found himself frowning as he stared at his eyes pierced into the back of her head, and for the first time he found himself hoping for a group project.
What a change in events. 
Tsukishima was honestly more worried about what Yamaguchi would say once he found out that he and Y/N were fighting again but... that was something to worry about for another time.
“We’ll be having a group project once more today! If you haven’t realized already, this class is oriented around the idea of building you collaborative and social skills.”
Okay, maybe not another time.
Tsukishima can practically hear Y/N’s head fall against her desk, his eyes drifting back to her as the teacher drones on about the requirements of this assignment and how they’ll pick up the rubric once class ends and they can further review it tomorrow. 
Probably because the bell rings almost immediately after. 
Y/N has already shot up from her seat, tugging her back over her shoulder as she beelines for the exit of the class. And for once, Tsukishima finds himself making an effort to keep up with her as he calls out her name, “Y/N, stop.”
This seems to garner Yamaguchi’s attention, who jogs to keep up with the pair as they all exit the classroom, “guys? What’s going on?”
“Everything is fine, Yamaguchi!” Comes Y/N’s response from ahead of them, waving him off. 
Yamaguchi’s brows furrow as he grabs Tsukishima’s wrist only to see that the counter has risen, causing him to look up at Tsukishima when he finally yanks his wrist away. “What did you do?”
Tsukishima looks to him incredulously, “what makes you think I did something?”
Yamaguchi looks to him blankly as he replies, “well Y/N isn’t chasing you through the halls, is she?” He rolls his eyes, jogging to get ahead of the both of them and block their path as he looked to them with furrowed brows, “what is going on guys?”
“Not now, Tadashi, please—”
“Tadashi?”
The group pauses in the empty hallway, most of the other students having left now that the day had ended, and the sound of Tsukishima’s voice is unlike anything Y/N has heard before as she sighs. 
“I wish you had told me, Tsukishima.” Is all she mumbles out, before dragging a hand through her hair and pushing past the both of them, turning the corner of the hall and leaving them alone there.
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A/N: gasp :0 yamaguchi? 
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sokkas-honour · 3 years
Note
Hi there! Could you write for your #30 for your music playlist? Zuko x reader 😁😁 thank youuu!!!!
nothing has changed - zuko x reader
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pairing: zuko x fem!reader
wc: 2.3k with lyrics
notes: reader is katara & sokka’s older sister! this time the lyrics are in bold + italic so that you don’t confuse them with the flashback + dream scenes, not that i think you would but just in case.
warnings: mention of sibling problems, if there’s anything else feel free to lmk!!
-
nothing's quite the same, as it has been on those familiar days,
as the night sky reigned above the fire nation, zuko looked out the window of his palace bedroom, memories flooding back from his time travelling around the world, away from his nation. wether it had been looking for the avatar or actually working with him, you had always somehow been there. first as his enemy, then as his friend, then as his lover.
he remembers the days where you’d find yourself fighting each other; he would attack you with his fire bending while you’d land hits with your battle club, knife or your whales tooth scimitar. when he’d feel nice, back in his avatar hunting days, he’d solely use his duel swords to make the playing field more even but he’d constantly forget that you were able to handle yourself even against benders. he had always found you to be beautiful and the tension between the two of you when you fought was undeniable.
he remembers when he tried to make amends with team avatar and even try to join, he remembers your initial reaction to it. you sided with your sister, not liking the idea of the boy who tried to hunt your friend, your siblings and yourself down, and the idea of accepting someone of the firenation, a nation that had taken your mother from you, into your friend group.
you came around before your sister, having joined your brother and zuko to try and free your father. he had proven himself in terms of having changed and as being a valuable member for the gaang. he still remembers exactly what you said when you came back from the trip.
“zuko!” you called before he could go too far, wanting to give some sort of privacy to the reuniting family. the ex prince stopped in his tracks as he waited for you to catch up to him.
“yeah?” he asked, unsure of what you would say. your brother had already made his amends with him but had warned that although you wouldn’t be as hard as katara, you still might take a little while to come around. either he was about to hear you accept him as part of the group, or you were about to, well he didn’t know.
“i wanted to say thank you. thanks for helping me get my father back. you really have changed.” zuko was a tad bit taken aback, not thinking he’d get your approval right after the trip but it didn’t bother him. a small weight seemed to be lifted off his shoulders. you gave him a proud smile and he felt his heart race.
“it was nothing. you both deserve to find your father again.” he blushed, bringing his hand to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. he returned your smile with a small one.
all of a sudden, you grabbed your scimitar and pressed the sharp tooth end lightly on his neck. his heartrate sped up but it wasn’t fully from you being close but also out of fear, sokka hadn’t warned him about this. his eyes widened.
“but if you even dare double cross us. if you even dare lay a finger on either of my siblings, i won’t hesitate to hurt you.” your previously bright face turned dark as you threatened him, not moving your weapon from his neck until he nodded nervously. when he finally did, you lowered it and your face returned to what it was before.
“good, i’m happy to have you as part of the team zuko.” you put your hand on his shoulder as a sign of acceptance, accompanying it with a small grin before turning around to go reunite with both of your siblings and your father.
he laughed a bit at the memory, remembering the fear that he felt during those few seconds but also the weird attraction he still had while you threatened his life.
he also remembers when you both finally admitted your feelings for each other. unbeknownst to him, you had also felt some sort of weird attraction to him when he was still hunting the avatar but it went from a weird and almost uncomfortable attraction, to one of genuine caring and love.
you had both grown rather close after your rescue at the boiling rock, spending many moments together along the beach and in town. it was after seeing the horrible play about their mission thus far, your character seeming to constantly fight with katara over zuko while also being an annoying and overprotective sister, constantly belittling your sibling’s feelings.
zuko remembers you storming out right after the show closed, sokka’s and katara’s characters having almost insulted you multiple times and you just needed some air. the words of the characterised katara still ringing through your head. ‘you’re a terrible sister y/n.’
“hey y/n.” he approached you calmly as you leaned against the balcony, staring at the bright moon that had been your friend during many sleepless nights after your mother died and your father left.
“you ran out of there pretty fast so i just wanted to make sure that you were okay.” zuko informed, leaning his back against the balcony after you gave him no response. he turned his head towards you and searched for a reaction.
“yeah, the show was just.” you took a deep breath, thinking of a word to describe the monstrosity you had just seen. “horrible, let’s put it that way.”
zuko laughed at your bluntness. you turned your gaze away from the moon to zuko, a small smile creeping up on your face at his carefree and content expression. his laugh was also something you didn’t realise that you liked about him but the last couple of days had made you create a long list on things about him that made you swoon.
“that’s certainly one way to put it.” his laughter died down and he met your staring gaze, both of you not breaking it.
“listen, if there was anything happening between katara and you, or if there is anything, i’m totally cool with it.” you blurted out, needing to get it off your chest to have an answer on the relationship portrayed in the show. you knew that katara would’ve told you something if it were to happen but you had to be sure.
“why would? why would something be happening between katara and i?” zuko asked, confused at your question that seemed to have come out of nowhere. the firebender knew that he wasn’t great at expressing his feelings but he had hoped that he’d been somewhat obvious about the way he felt toward you.
“the show, in the show you two have a lot of romantic scenes. that’s literally one of the main fighting points for katara and i’s character, other than me being told i’m a useless and horrible sister.” you mumbled the last part. pushing yourself off from leaning over the balcony to stand up straight, body still not facing zuko.
“you do realise that the show is incredibly inaccurate?” he rose an eyebrow and stared you, confused as to why you would base your information on some horrible adaption.
“yeah but parts of it were true.” your head fell, letting the words of katara’s character get to you.
“hey, you’re not a horrible sister. in fact, i know that sokka and katara would say the opposite, in fact, they already have! multiple times!” zuko wasn’t about to let you beat yourself up over a badly interpreted story that was based off of misinformation. he put his hand on your cheek that had since turned away from him. when you felt his warm hand, your brought yours up to put it on top of it, letting your head settle against his hand and turned to fully face him.
“i know it’s just. katara and sokka have always been closer and, i sometimes neglected katara and was overprotective of her. i had always been closer to my dad so i had no idea how to deal with her and was just jealous of the attention she got as the youngest.” you admitted, not wanting to look into zuko’s eyes as you confessed something that not even your siblings knew.
“that doesn’t mean your a bad sister. katara and sokka both love you and know how much you love and care for them.” he caressed your cheek with his thumb in a caring manor as you finally met his caring gaze once more.
“thanks zuko.” you smiled in recognition, thanking him for his comforting words.
“and not only do katara and sokka love you for who you are, i love you for who you are. the y/n in the show was nothing like the y/n i know.” he ranted, not noticing his confession that slipped but you caught it and a huge smirk grew on your face.
“what?” he stopped talking when he noticed your mischievous grin.
“you love me? zuko we only became friends like two weeks ago.” you laughed, butterflies still dancing in your stomach at the idea of him feeling so strongly towards you in such little time.
“i mean i dont if it’s love but it’s definitely something similar. i like you y/n. you keep me on my toes, you make me laugh, you challenge me to be a better person.” he clarified his previous statement which just made things even better for you.
“uh huh.” you nodded, indicating him to keep going. zuko usually wasn’t the one to have a lot to say but tonight seemed to be a special night.
“and after seeing all the horrible things i’ve done, not only in person, but theyve all gotten thrown back into our faces tonight. it’s totally understandable if you’re not there yet to completely forgive me, i mean i would but.” zuko’s out of character rambling continued, making you laugh but you couldn’t keep letting the poor boy dig himself an even deeper hole so you took a deep breath and grabbed his hand to remove it from your cheek so you could lean in and press your lips against his in order to shut him up.
zuko’s eyes widened in surprise, taken aback by your bold action but you were always the one to take bold moves. after the initial shock, zuko eagerly kissed back, moving his hands to your waist in order to bring you closer to deeper the kiss. some part of him had been waiting for this moment ever since he had laid eyes on you.
“spirits zuko, you never talk that much.” you teased once you broke apart from the kiss which just earned a blush from the raven haired boy.
“well um, i.” zuko stumbled, failing to find a reason for his previous ranting but he never got the chance to answer as you pecked his lips , and you both got interrupted by a certain watertribe boy.
“y/n!” you heard your brother call out, probably concerned at your running away and the fact that you still hadn’t come back.
“looks like sokka’s calling me, if you don’t mind.” zuko unwrapped his arms from your waist and you started walking back inside to the voice who called you. you made sure to send a wink in his direction before you left, leaving the banished prince blushing and with a stupid smile on his face.
zuko grinned as he thought about your first kiss. he sighed happily and went under the covers to doze off and let sleep take over temporarily.
i dream about an old familiar face, then wake up and you're gone without a trace,
“zuko!” the firelord lifted his head up and saw you running towards him down the long hallway of the palace. enormous smile on your face at the sigh of your boyfriend at the end of the hallway.
“y/n!” he greeted you with a mirroring expression and a hug when you finally reached him. arms wrapping around your waist as you cuddled into his chest.
“ i missed you.” you mumbled into his chest, feeling his chest rumble as he chuckled at your statement.
“i missed you too.” he replied, eyes meeting yours as you lifted your head to look at him. he used one of his hands to move the hair out of your face before placing his lips softly onto yours.
“i have news.” you announced as you broke the kiss, a huge grin on your face as you looked up at zuko with an infinite amount of love.
“which is?” he asked, not knowing if he should be concerned or excited.
“well, as you know i went to see katara while i went home and you’ll never guess what she told me! i’m pregnant!” you told zuko the news and you swear you saw him panic for a split second before he fully processed the information and his face was replaced with pure bliss.
“really?” he didn’t believe it, you two were finlay going to have a child together. who would’ve thought back then when you two fought against each other that you would’ve been carrying his future child. you simply nodded before he leaned back into kiss you.
he woke up in the morning, thinking that his dream was a memory and that you were laying right next to him but as he turned around, he was met with an empty bed. he sighed slightly, you were still away in the south pole with your family as you had been for months. nonetheless, he was happy to have dreamed about your beautiful face.
and though you're away, nothing has changed, we always made it out, even when im old and blue, i’ll think about my time with you.
when he stepped out of his chamber, he was met with a servant giving him a scroll, no doubt a message from you. the firelord thanked them before returning to his room to read in peace.
whenever one of you were gone on a mission somewhere in one of the four nations, you both communicated through letters so that you could keep in touch. it would also serve as a way to your future selves to look back in the early moments in your relationship fondly. you’d always have memories that would never go away written in those scrolls.
atla taglist: @draqondance @biqherosix @missmorosis @firelady-jay
zuko taglist: @duh-dobrik
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viriyanon · 3 years
Text
epilogue (pt. 2)
part 1 | part 2
after gathering so much energy i finally post the 2nd part. and this will be about our love fool, chief phupha viriyanon and how i learn a lot from him.
p.s this completely does have nothing to do with me being an earth stan, yes
to be honest, i dont really have anything to say about episode 10 due to my lack of experience in intense romantic affair. im not sure about the feeling of getting reciprocated so i can only enjoy phupha tian being two fools in love lmao. also, being a tomboy with 5, 6 male friends constantly surrounding me and taking different roles in my life is already enough for me so... romance is kinda my weakness.
since the beginning of this drama, i immediately felt connected more to phupha. at first, i didn’t know that their age gap was pretty far but then i learned about it and i thought, oh my that’s why. phupha is an old soul. i am also an old soul. 
everything else just followed after the realization. the way phupha behaved towards a stranger who, additionally, was a supposed rich brat that would just drain his energy, the way he acted cool and tough as to assert his dominance over a newcomer but still panicked and immediately jumped into the frigid waterfall when someone he’s responsible for was not in his line of sight. phupha who couldn’t stand injustice. phupha who gave hard times and provoked tian all the time just to test his persistence, phupha who only gave his best smile and utmost attention to someone he cared about, phupha whose heart was actually soft and vulnerable because tian was his first in everything related to love and when his trust was broken, he scrambled back to build the thick-walled tower without stopping because he feared the only thing he had in life would be taken or destroyed, phupha who couldn’t admit what his heart really wanted and needed someone to fish it out of him. phupha who was ever forgiving and wise, phupha who in fact wanted a life companion and was a hopeless romantic, phupha who wanted the best for the love of his life even if it means sacrificing his happiness and risking his own safety if necessary.
phupha who was a guardian more than a lover and an older figure.
phupha is somehow everything that i am and will be in the future, therefore, my writings are mostly about him whose characteristic was not disclosed as explicitly as tian because it is a form of reflection. and yes, i know i took phupha’s side all the time, even when people were disappointed by his impulsivity. because i understand that feelings, to the point that i so was upset watching ep 8. i thought, “this is what i will do when im faced the same thing and maybe even worse but dude, it’s not right. ur supposed to be rational.” and i was stuck in confusion.
the existence of phupha makes me realize a lot about myself. that i’ve been so cold and reticent towards my own feelings and desire. if i allow myself to give no fck about what others will say about my decision without jeopardizing them, to put what i want to do instead of what i supposed to do on top of every consideration, maybe i’d find a peace of mind. maybe, i won’t be so fearful about failure and heartbreak and dissatisfaction in life. maybe, if i say what i exactly want, i will get exactly what i want. my thought indeed materializes.
also remember when torfun said that maybe phupha hadn’t found someone he loved so much when phupha said he didn’t want to see his partner in agony because he saw his mother cried when his dad passed away. at that moment, a thought instantly flashed in my mind. ah, so it is real. when you really love someone, you will try your best to survive and not die in some random places because you don’t want to be the cause of their sadness. you can’t be the reason of their tears and agony. and it’s what phupha hadn’t achieved, as well as me. maybe a reason to live is not only about an achievement. it can be as simple as someone’s existence or someone else’s happiness. but i can’t testify this yet. just, yet.
furthermore, i learn from phupha that i need a partner who can break me out of my boring routine and the said fortress, crack a smile on my face too by acting cute. someone who gives little surprises everyday, not presents but little things like their way of thinking, their reaction towards a situation, their story. someone who will ask me repeatedly if i really want this or that. someone who is sassy and daring yet loves to be taken care of. because phupha (and i)’s no. 1 love language is acts of service and if it’s not met, he simply won’t be satisfied and will feel jittery and uncomfortable for not proving something to his partner.
never in my life, would i learn deeper about love language if it’s not because of phupha.
to conclude, yes i talked too much about phupha it’s like exposing myself to the whole atots hypemen. im annoyingly attached to him, i know. but phupha’s appearance is so groundbreaking in my whole history of watching dramas. he’s so realistic, so grounded to the facts of existence, so straightforward, and it made him skeptical. but that didn’t mean he couldn’t and wouldn’t learn to change for a better of his life. when he finally opened up to change, he found a light. his own star. someone that he would want to see every night and day indefinitely.
im not tearing up writing this but aye sarunchana singing in the background really gets me into the mood. im reminded of so many dynamics in atots, how a thai drama that i side-eyed most of the time can make me feel again. not only towards my cold love life but also my regard to life.
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faerielleart · 3 years
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I love that they are friends before lovers! Honestly, it feels so refreshing rather than “i’d die for you” it’s a mutual feeling of “i love you; we are going to get through this together” that love is so important, it goes unnoticed quite often...
you said it anon!
i have to confess that i usually tend to ship enemies to lovers rather than friends to lovers because i really freaking love the angst, the misunderstandings, the attempted murder once or twice lmao no seriously, it’s a trope that i really enjoy cause i love love love redemption arcs and the slow steps towards a reluctant friendship and then finally BOOM they’re in love like thats my type of shit
levihan (and royai but im not really deep into the fma fandom bc i was far too young when it was at its peak hhh and i got to grow up through aot so yeah im more attached to levi and hanji rather than roy and riza tho i love them both) is just too god tier. literally god tier. i dont even know how to explain it but: God Tier. the healthiest, deepest, most beautiful, most special bond i have ever seen in two characters across all the media i’ve consumed. what you say, “i love you; we are going to get through this together” rather than “i’d die for you”, i see if fundamentally tied to the fact that their relationship is completely, 100% EQUAL on literally every level. i love this ship SO MUCH bc their bond gives me the kind of emotional maturity that i crave and dont usually get from any of my other ships and fucKING HELL HAJIME ISAYAMA fucking hell hajime isayama. Fucking hell hajime isayama
i just idk man i cant even think of these two old fucks without getting teary eyed. i could write my bachelor’s degree thesis, my master’s degree thesis and my doctorate thesis about them. im tired of even having to label them. who tf cares about platonic shit romantic shit whatever shit like these words just sound so???? trivial???? mundane????? i dont think a word that completely encapsulates the meaning of their bond exists. it’s the kind of shit that goes beyond life and death. they ARE each other’s person and they ARE soulmates. you dont have telepathy with anyone am i right ladies n gents? ;D
also. who tf needs words anyway. their actions speak louder than everything to me. it’s in the subtext, in their subtle acts of caring for the other, it’s in their utter trust of the other, it’s in their constantly watching the other’s back (hello rts panel on top of the walls), it’s in their noticing when the other needs to be cheered up, it’s in their knowing exactly what the other needs to say. lemme give you an example: if i had to use two sentences which sound similar and mean the same thing but in my opinion have profoundly different nuances, their relationship is not a “what can i do for you?”, it’s a “what do you need?”. i hope i got my point across with these two sentences. furthermore, it’s in them having lost so so so much but still having each other to lean on, it’s in them being able to lift each other’s burdens by pure, unquestioned support of the other in every single moment, it’s in their bickering, in their constant looking out for the other. ya know that song that literally every singer that existed on earth sang at some point in their carrer, “you raise me up”? thats literally them. “you raise me up so i can stand on mountains, you raise me up to walk on stormy seas, i am strong when i am on your shoulders, you raise me up to more than i can be”. they literally bring out the best in each other, they are each other’s rock, they are able to let go of their masks and be vulnerable around each other.
and personally, to me that says a lot, like, a lot more than any kind of explicit confession, any kind of kiss, any kind of conventionally romantic gesture, any kind of label.
who needs “conventional” anyway? they’re abnormals. abnormals know and need no conventionality. thats my two cents 🤙
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officialleotolstoy · 3 years
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Oh Anatole Brainrot* We’re Really In It Now, aka Anatole playlist annotations!
*I only have brainrot about him in terms of his relationships with Hélène and Dolokhov idc about him on his own 🤢
This playlist is infuriating because it has so many good songs on it and he does NOT deserve to have a playlist that slaps so hard :/
My Type - Saint Motel
“You’re just my type; you’ve got a pulse and you are breathing”
The lyrics are literally just I Will Have Sex With Anything That Breathes which is Anatole’s only personality trait. It just is.
Fool For Love - Lord Huron
“I’m asking her to be my bride, I know there’s another man but he ain’t gonna delay my plans”
This song is about eloping with a girl who already has a boyfriend, it is THE Comet section Anatole song. Which angers me because it’s such a good song, it doesn’t deserve to be associated with him in my head.
The Cult of Dionysus - The Orion Experience
“Wine and women and wonderful vices”
HEDONISM BABEY!!! Also the phrase “wine and women” with “he spends his money on women and wine” in Comet...makes ya think.
Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic
“Look so good I might die, all I know is everybody loves me”
You know that quote that’s like “[Anatole] cultivated an air of superiority blah blah blah whatever” (paraphrased)? This is that in song form.
Bedroom Hymns - Florence + The Machine
“The wine and the women and the bedroom hymns”
Thottery AND the phrase “wine and women”? Anatolecore.
Talk - Hozier
“I’ll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I’m imagining you”
I think if he needs to, Anatole can sugarcoat carnal desire with pretty words. It kind of comes down to “I’m pretending to be eloquently and romantically interested in you but I really just want to have s*x with you”. He might not have that much self-control, but the bottom line is that this song is horny and so is he.
Someone New - Hozier
“I wake at the first cringe of morning and my heart’s already sinned”
All my notes say is “commitment issues thot anthem” which is fair. I think it’s physically impossible for him not to fall in love with someone new every week, which is the entire point of this song. Also “you knew who I was with every step that I ran to you” tracks, Anatole doesn’t really try to hide it.
Paradise City - Guns N’ Roses
“Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty”
I won’t lie, I’m not sure if this is what the song is actually about but that bit at least has hedonism energy. Also this came up on genius lyrics and it feels like something Anatole would do:
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Hallelujah - Panic! At The Disco
“I got caught under the covers with secondhand lovers”
Ok whore. But also the vibes of knowing you’re a sinner and reveling in it feels like Anatole. It’s the complete lack of shame for me.
Why Should I Worry - Billy Joel
“Why should I worry? Why should I care?”
Has he ever actually cared about anything other than his own personal wellbeing? Jury’s still out. This song implies he has street smarts which may not be true but not every lyric is gonna work 😔✌🏻
Only The Good Die Young - Billy Joel
“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun”
The entire song is just seducing a devoutly Catholic girl, and it doesnt exactly work but I always assign this in my head to that time he tried to marry Marya B. But just in general, the reckless seduction vibes work.
Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega
“To me flirting is just like a sport”
Unironically this is such an Anatole song. Listing off all his different lovers and their attributes is absolutely something he’s done. This is just a carefree thot song which is his vibe.
Ex’s and Oh’s - Elle King
“Ex’s and oh’s they haunt me like ghosts”
This is also on the Hélène playlist but this time the ex messing things up is his wife (not that any of that was her fault). I also think the general vibes of “I’m gonna make you want me so much and then leave you” are Anatoleish
Rasputin - Boney M.
“Russia’s greatest love machine”
LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THIS DOESN’T WORK. It’s about the seduction of upper-class Russian women come ON
I’m Born To Run - American Authors
“I’m gonna live my life like I’m gonna die young”
This is almost a more wholesome version of his careless hedonism, more skewed toward seeing the world rather than just having drunken fun but the energy is still there
Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen
“Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time”
It’s the “having fun is the only thing that matters” mindset. He doesn’t deserve this song 😔
Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen
I don’t have a lyric for this one, it’s just like. Yes I am a professional flirter! He is not this into commitment but i imagine he tells a new person this every week.
Oops!...I Did It Again - Britney Spears
“But to lose all my senses, that is just so typically me”
The lack of commitment and not treating relationships seriously is very Anatole, and so is the refusal to take responsibility for the heartbreak you directly caused.
How Bad Can I Be? - The Lorax
“How bad can I be? I’m just doing what comes naturally”
I KNOW I KNOW. HEAR ME OUT. This is pretty much Tolstoy’s “defense” of him verbatim. It’s the idea that he’s just so naturally like this it has never occurred to him to be any other way or to think about other people’s wellbeing. Anatole is the Onceler and Natasha is a straight girl on tumblr circa 2012.
Runaway Baby - Bruno Mars
“When I play, I never stay”
He would never be this self-aware, but otherwise it fits. The whole thing is about an inability to commit and a propensity for causing heartbreak. Also, I’ve had a grudge against this song for years and the blind rage it fills me with is reminiscent of the blind rage Anatole fills me with.
California Girls - The Beach Boys
“I’ve been all around this great big world and I’ve seen all kinds of girls”
This song is like, “What if we objectified every woman ever but made it a bop?” which is massive Anatole energy I think.
Girls, Girls, Girls - Motley Crüe
“I just need a new toy”
Literally the exact same justification as California Girls
It’s Raining Men - The Weather Girls
If I’m gonna add songs about objectifying women, I’m gonna add songs about objectifying men too. Equal opportunity whorery.
Parental Guidance - Judas Priest
“You say I waste my life away but I live it to the full”
This is just him to Vassily. Refusing to be controlled by your parents’ expectations and just going off to have fun is Vassily’s whole gripe with him and also the point of this song.
How To Be A Heartbreaker - MARINA
“You gotta have fun, but baby when you’re done you gotta be the first to run”
The bits about not getting close to anyone because you’re afraid of getting hurt don’t really apply but the “here’s how to make people like you and also we are for sure not staying together this is just for fun” definitely fit.
The STD Song - Top Memes
“Sinning with your naked bod is evil and atrocious”
I uh. I forgot this was on here but I was RIGHT when I added it. This is the lecture Vassily gives him after his Polish wife debacle-
Do It All The Time - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME
“I’m only doing anything I want to do because I do it all the time”
He literally just does whatever he wants without thinking about the consequences. It’s just got huge entitled kid thot energy which is Anatole’s whole character. And the line “I’m taking your girl and I’m making her mine” is deeply Anatoleish.
Until The Night Turns - Lord Huron
“I got a helluva view for the end of the world, I've got a bottle of booze and a beautiful girl”
This doesn’t fit into any particular situation but I do think if the world was ending and Anatole was drunk with a pretty lady he would have this exact reaction. Also the repetition of the word sunrise (which is what the name Anatole means) is just a fun little extra bit.
Girls - The 1975
“What’s the fun in doing what you’re told?”
Rebellious kid energy! Also “she can’t be what you need if she’s 17” is everyone with morals @ him about Natasha (I know she was 19 at the time shh it’s about the energy).
Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) - The Offspring
“In his own mind he’s the dopest trip”
This man is The Worst but he really thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips huh! Literally everyone can tell he’s not the brightest bulb in the bunch EXCEPT HIM. Smh.
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hello! i think it said ur matchups were still open, and ur characterization is super good so i wanted to send in a req for a dsmp matchup !!
gweh ok so: im new to adult life and it still hasnt hit me that im an adult even thought its been a good while since i became one. im she/her and im pretty childish, but in a "12 year old who just learned the word fuck" kind of way. i make a ton of poop jokes but im actually pretty funny and my comedy is one of the few things i can say that i have solidified my skills in. unfortunately i have a really hard time understanding social scenarios and other people's feelings. not in like a cute way where its endearing but in an annoying way where a lot of stuff that is very obvious flies right over my head, like when someone is clearly reaching out for help but they cant say it directly so i think theyre just being honest when they say theyre okay. its a double edged sword because while i cant understand someone trying to be subtle when they like me, its the same with people who dont like me and try to make me feel bad. a lady at my work tried to make me feel bad about my unshaved legs by saying she doesnt wear shorts unless she shaves her legs and looked at me VERY obviously trying to get me to give a response as to why i dont, but i thought she was just including me in the conversation so i said "yeah i like tie-dye shirts with red jean shorts"
i used to be a very very VERY mean person before i got a reality check that made me shape up and stop being horrendous, so now im a generally nice person. i can go too far with teasing to the point where it seems like mocking, though, so i need to work on that. something im proud of myself for is that i always make an effort to include people in stuff because i very much understand how it feels to be ostracized and purposefully excluded, as well as just overlooked or unintentionally ignored for no real reason, so i work very hard to include everyone in group activities and make sure everyone is engaging (if they want to, of course). i have 2 best friends and both of them have the same dynamic with me, and the best description would be like those anime duos where theres a short, loud, energetic class-clown and a tall, stoic, cool wallflower who makes all the classmates swoon (and im only 5'4" so you already KNOW which role i fill in that duo)
in minecraft i literally hate mining which is ironic because thats literally 50% of the game's title so all i do in multiplayer worlds is fuck with my friends and pvp for them when they want someone killed lol. like for reference all my friends have human skins of either themselves or their ocs and mine is a skin i made of perry the platypus in a diaper
that was rlly long so sorry if none of that information is pertinent LMAO ilu tho and if u took the time to read this regardless of if u reply thank u so much ❤😭🙏 ur so swag
After thinking for a little bit, I decided to give you ... Hannahxxrose! I believe that your childishness and her kindness would go together pretty well!
A . How would they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? - Hannah would absolutely drown you in plans and affection. She doesn't shy away from showing you that she loves you and adores you in any way possible.
B. What type of future are they planning with their lover? - Hannah wants to live somewhere far away from everyone else, in a forest, in a little cabin where you two could be happy.
C. What is the scariest moment with them? - Hannah has many times killed people she thought would take you away and used their bodies as fertilizer for her plants.
D. How do they usually act with their lover? - Hannah is very kind with you. She is very loving towards you. Hannah also loves to grow plants with you.
E. How would they court their lover before? - Hannah would leave a rose on your front door every single day with a romantic letter, telling you where to meet her everyevery dayday if you ever want to accept her feelings.
F. What's their favorite memory/thing in the relationship? - Hannah can still remember the day that you came to accept her love, looking as cute and shy as ever!
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