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allsassnoclass · 3 years

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hi!!! for the i love you prompts i was thinking about 83 for cashton 💙

Hello Maya! Thank you for the prompt.

Warning: this fic takes place after a car crash

Cashton: “Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

Calum isn't sleeping when the call comes in, but it's a near thing. The clock reads 1:37 when he glances at it before looking at the caller ID on his phone. It's an unfamiliar number, something in his area code but not in his contacts, and he lets it ring through. After a few moments of silence his phone rings again, the same number, and Calum figures that anyone calling twice isn't going to be a spam bot.

"Hullo?" he asks, clearing his throat so he doesn't sound as tired the next time he speaks.

"Calum?"

The voice makes his blood run cold, familiar even though he hasn't heard it say his name for months, sounding much too small and tired.

"Ashton?"

"Yeah, it's me," Ashton says. "Sorry for calling so late. I hope I didn't wake you."

"What's wrong?" he asks, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. If Ashton is calling him after radio silence for months sounding like that, there's no way this is a casual social call.

"I, um. I need someone to pick me up from the hospital. I'm sorry, you can call Luke or Michael if you want, but I-- my phone is smashed and your number is the only one I have memorized."

"Holy shit, Ashton," Calum says, heart leaping into his throat. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Ashton laughs helplessly, the kind of laugh he uses when he's dangerously close to a breakdown. Calum used to be fully fluent in every sound Ashton makes, able to read his mood from the cadence of his breathing. It seems like he still can, to some extent.

"I crashed my car. Phone is busted, but they're letting me go. Concussion and a broken arm."

It could be worse. It could be so much worse, but Calum doesn't feel comforted.

"Is everyone else okay?"

"Yeah. I was the only one in the car and I crashed it into a tree, so no one is hurt."

"No one except you."

Ashton hums.

Holy shit, Ashton crashed his car. Ashton, who is the safest driver Calum knows. Ashton, who Calum hasn't seen outside of passing moments with mutual friends in months and who still has his phone number memorized.

"Which hospital?" he asks.

"OSF. You don't have to, I--I should've called a cab. Sorry, I didn't think--"

"Stay there. I'm coming to get you."

Ashton sighs. Calum recognizes relief in it, but also defeat. He needs to see Ashton right now.

"Okay," Ashton says quietly. "Thanks. I'll be outside by the discharge parking."

"Okay. See you soon."

He doesn't speed, the knowledge that Ashton is fresh out of a car crash making him keep a careful eye on the speedometer, but it's a close thing. He doesn't like the idea of Ashton waiting alone in a hospital, no one else there to make sure he's okay or to keep him from getting too deep in his own head.

He probably should've called Michael or Luke. Ashton would surely be more comfortable with either of them right now, but Calum's number is the one he dialed. Calum's number is the only one he has memorized, even if they broke up months ago.

Ashton seems so small sitting on the bench with the entire hospital lit up and looming behind him. The florescent lights spilling from windows the sliding front door do nothing to penetrate the night, a floodlight instead beaming down on the bench like a spotlight, drawing Calum's eyes straight to Ashton. He's hunched, arm drawn to his middle, head bowed. When Calum pulls up to the curb Ashton doesn't look up until he rolls down his window and calls to him.

"Hey," he says. Ashton tries to give him a tired smile, but he doesn't quite manage it. He looks like he's about to cry, and it makes Calum want to cry, too.

He's supposed to be immune to Ashton by now, but it seems that a few months isn't long enough to get over him.

Ashton gets into the car silently, carefully buckling himself in around his busted arm. There's a piece of gauze taped to his forehead near his temple. His face looks gaunt, hair in need of a wash and clothes rumpled and torn from the crash. He's definitely looked better, but Calum drinks him in anyway. They haven't been alone together since they broke up. Calum doesn't remember the words that they screamed at each other, just that it had felt like something important inside him shattered when Ashton slammed the door on the way out.

Calum is the one who said they were finished. Ashton is the one who said he didn't love him, even though Calum knows that was a lie.

He doesn't need to ask how to get to Ashton's apartment from here. He starts driving and gives Ashton a minute to compose himself.

"Why are you doing this?" Ashton asks eventually. Calum glances over at him, but he's facing away, watching the city pass by outside his window.

There's a lot of things he could say here. I didn't like the though of you waiting here longer than necessary. I wasn't asleep anyway. You sounded like you need a friend and when I told you to get out of my life I never actually thought you would.

"Why do you still have my phone number memorized?"

Ashton stays silent. It's not like him; Calum was always the quieter of the two. Ashton likes filling dead air.

"Are you okay?"

Ashton snorts. He takes a shaky breath and Calum knows that he's crying now. He doesn't have any tissues in the car. He wants to reach out and comfort him, but he knows it wouldn't be welcomed. Ashton has pride, a lot of it. If he wasn't able to swallow it to salvage their relationship, he won't be able to swallow it a few months after the end.

"Sorry," Ashton says.

"Stop apologizing," Calum snaps, then winces. "You don't have to apologize."

"I thought you wanted me to work on that," Ashton says.

He had. Ashton was allergic to the word "sorry." It was one of the things that contributed to their last argument, but Calum doesn't like how easily the word has slipped off his tongue tonight.

"Well, it's weird. You don't have anything to apologize for tonight. Not to me, at least."

Ashton makes a wounded noise in the back of his throat. Calum clenches the steering wheel tighter to keep from reaching for him.

"It's been a bad fucking day," Ashton says. "Everything's gone to shit at once and I-- you're the only person I could call and I thought you were going to hang up once you knew it was me."

"I wouldn't do that to you," Calum says.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did."

Calum doesn't know what to say to that. They drive in silence for a few minutes, lights flickering by as the car winds through streets that Calum has been down hundreds of times before.

"You know I don't hate you, right?" he says quietly. "Not for how we ended. That was as much my fault as yours. For a few weeks, I kept going over it in my mind what I could've said differently to change that outcome."

"Calum--"

"We don't need to do this now, but I think we need to talk. I don't know if I can stop loving you until we do."

Ashton makes another wounded noise, one that Calum hasn't heard before. He winces.

"Sorry,' he says. "I shouldn't've said that right now. I know you have a lot on your mind."

"You think?" Ashton huffs. He's putting on a brave face again, trying to shift the conversation tone lighter. It's false, but Calum lets him. He knows that he needs to tonight.

He reaches for the radio and lets Ashton make halfhearted complaints about the songs or commercials until they pull up to his apartment complex. Calum turns down the radio and watches Ashton unbuckle himself.

"Do you need anyone to stay with you? Are you supposed to stay awake due to your concussion?"

"It's okay. Matt should be home."

Calum nods. Ashton reaches for his door handle, but hesitates. He drops his hand and turns back to Calum, facing him fully for the first time all night.

"I'll get a new phone within the week and text you. We can meet up and talk about... things. Us. Whatever we both need to."

"I look forward to it," Calum says. Ashton presses his lips together and Calum wonders if that was the right phrasing. It probably won't be a pleasant conversation, but Calum was telling the truth regardless. He's looking forward to it because now that he's seen Ashton, he can't wait to do it again. He's been in a desert without realizing it, and every glimpse of Ashton is a sip of water.

"Thank you for coming to get me," Ashton says quietly.

"You can call me any time," Calum says. Ashton closes his eyes briefly, then musters up a smile. It's fake, it's so fake, but it's the most real one he's given Calum all night.

"Have a good night, Cal. Get home safe."

Calum watches Ashton until he's through the door, then stays in the car for a few moments longer before he can bring himself to put the car in drive and pull away. He'll see Ashton again later, and he has to keep reminding himself that the entire way home.

#my writing #cashton #drabble #i feel pretty good about this one #feel like i'm getting back into the groove of things. like my recent self-deprication when it comes to writing is less justified #man i love cashton. i have been in a cashton mood want to write more of them

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