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#expert at chill
zerodaryls · 5 months
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it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.
i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.
there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.
'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.
to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.
and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.
but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.
#i try to reclaim 'feminine' words for myself in private#calling myself 'babygirl' when i need to chill out. or saying i feel pretty. or going 'she needs help' when i'm struggling lmao.#but there's still so much fucking trauma in those words from the people who've forced them on me#who've snarled in my face that GOD made me ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY and that's a WOMAN (stepdad)#who've guilted me for taking their precious perfect daughter away as if i'm fucking dead (mother)#who've mocked me and everyone like me as if we're not the experts on our own sense of self (general transphobic public)#like. i'm not a fucking man. i'm not a fucking woman. i'm nonbinary. gender is absurdity as a concept. i'm done with it.#but being called a man or a son or a guy or 'he' or WHATEVER in that vein is fine and dandy because i've never had anyone say#'that is all you can EVER be'. or worse: 'that is what GOD made you to be and you have a ROLE to fill'#(christianity pls die approximately yesterday thanku 💖)#so yeah. idk. ranting yet again about Cis Audacity.#the complete lack of empathy. the lack of curiosity even.#the condescending bullshit. the 'i understand you better than you do'. the fucking AUDACITY.#i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate.#i understand myself better than anyone else is CAPABLE of understanding me.#i could call myself 'she' and understand that i meant it in a nonbinary way.#in fact i could even see myself letting other trans people call me feminine terms at some point in the future. when i've healed more.#but cis people? probably not. they can call me 'he' or 'they' or they can fuck off & never get to know me because they don't wanna know ME#/end rant#any terfs/bigots that try to touch this post will be swiftly blocked and quite possibly cursed. have the day you deserve <3
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pixelchills · 2 years
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Moving in part 1/2/3/4/5/6/7
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expatesque · 9 months
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How do you make new friends in London in your mid-late 20s? Feeling pretty lonely and don’t know where to start!
Oh pal same. London is so hard - when I went to Bermuda it happened so easily and naturally, coming back here has been like a cold shock. But I'm not giving up, I'm taking my Bermuda lessons back with me.
What I'm doing:
- starting with the obvious. Inviting the girl I've always had good chats with to get lunch after tennis drill. Actually properly going to dinner with my secretary. Reconnecting with people from the past who I've fallen out of touch with.
- being more present. Less time with headphones in, more aware of the spaces around me. Hasn't worked yet but who knows, I could meet my next best friend at a bus stop.
- being open. The best thing I learned in Bermuda is that many, many more people can be good friends than just those I would naturally gravitate towards. When options are limited (the entire island is 51k people, and the pool of people around my age without kids was way, way smaller), you're more tolerant and willing to try things out. And I made such a good group of friends out there, with people who I probably wouldn't have said more than two sentences to in London.
- saying yes. To all kinds of things. Another Bermuda lesson: getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing, and it's easy to make fast friends when everyone feels silly.
- making the first move. Anti-British to talk to strangers, I know but I'm not British so fuck that. Compliment that girls earrings, make a joke about how long the line is to the gal next to you in the queue at the bar, ask the cool person at work for coffee. Brits are shy reserved, so if I have to do more work, fine. It's a small price to pay.
- lean on friends of friends. Who has your friend been talking about for years that you haven't met yet? Meet them. Throw a house party and tell people to bring people you don't know. Start telling your friends to bring their friends and colleagues along to drinks. I read this excellent article recently about what life was like before cell phones and man, it sounds pretty good. I'm going to try to establish a standing bar that my friends know I'll be at on a certain night to encourage more unplanned fun.
That's what I've got - anyone else have advice?
+ sleepover saturday
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creepyscritches · 9 months
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Randomly remembered the movers that were surprised I worked in healthcare bc they figured we were just gamers lmao....girls how do we recover
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Steve, making a video: Hey, Jon, do you pull?
Jonathan: Yeah I pull. I pull bitches into my dark realm of shadows
Steve: We're sitting in a blanket fort
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xamaxenta · 8 months
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I want to write a Marco/Ace/Sabo fic but idk how to write it exactly, do you have some tips for writing this trio? How do they interact or if they're ok with this? I think Marco is pretty chill with everything but Sabo is possessive and simp (this boy is insane) and Ace is ... Or he doesn't get it at first (like why two pretty boys would be in love with me? No way! Stop lying and Marco and Sabo "we love you!" ) but anyway, do you have some tips for writing this trio pls?
I think you should check out the existing MAS tag on AO3 bc theres some insanely good characterisations of these three interacting
I think their dynamic is very fun to play around with
You have two men of the same age, Sabo and Ace, who have that lovely pre-established relationship of being childhood friends, who lost each other due to tragic circumstances and for Ace, never had any real closure really because in his eyes there was no body to bury, thats fucking intense for a kid his age poor thing
And then you have one out of the trio whos double that age, and potentially depending on how you view, interpret or headcanon the Phoenix — Marco could easily be triple his human physical age, or even immortal which is extremely interesting and spicy to play with
I wouldnt say Marco is all chill, i think thats a baseline observation, he cares alot like alot alot, think about his age and the status and the position as Whitebeards right hand, he has to be alot of things a mentor, a caretaker, a doctor and a commander, but hes also a shoulder to lean on and someone with alot of compassion, he approached Ace when Ace was committed to assassinating his father figure — he didn’t have to extend a hand to him, Ace effectively was his enemy at that point in time, its a key interaction between them imo and speaks volumes of Marco’s foresight and wisdom, he knows people like Ace, wayward misguided angry, hes the one that shoves a foot in the door Ace thinks he should be closing, gives him a family, its fucking lovely
Sabos definitely unhinged, his brain flickers between luffy Ace and the revolution he tirelessly fights for, hes righteous, well intentioned, violent with a streak of cruelty that shine theough whenever hes in the midst of battle, he doesnt do anything in halves, he finishes what he starts — referring to his role at the Reverie at Marie Jeoise — referring to his unrelenting confidence in Dressrosa when he fought in the coliseum and obtained the mera mera, Sabo remembers and retains and certainly never forgives, hes borne of vengeance and flames but when he loves he loves with all his fucking heart its really raw and fullbodied, he is loyalty personified tbh all three of them are
And Ace… my beloved id have to keep him for a separate post because the amount of infodumping and analysis i have for him is actually disgusting haha, i think hes afraid to love. His childhood was fucking rough, Ace learnt to love because of Luffy i fucking believe this wholeheartedly
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prozac-shaped-urn · 10 months
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I feel like a lot of newer writers seem to be under the impression that experienced writers churn out beautiful work with no effort in no time and with no forethought. That just… IS NOT true.
Does writing get easier with practice? Yes. Everything does. You learn what your strengths are and how to least painfully vomit out the first draft.
But it’s never an immediate thing. You don’t have a polished draft on your first draft. It’s called a draft for that reason. You’re drafting something onto a page. You’re creating a framework. You’re building a foundation you can add to.
Does it suck to be in that very steep learning curve when you’re just starting out? FUCK YES IT DOES!!! But it’s a requirement if you’re gonna get better. It sucks, but it’s required. It’s on the job training, baby. Buckle in and hang on.
That being said—and to demystify this concept of a writer who’s been writing prose for 20+ years having a first draft that remotely resembles anything decent to publish—do y’all wanna see my vomit draft? I’ll fucken post it. I’m dead serious. I’ve had it with newer writers being hard on themselves for not writing a Pulitzer Prize-winning first draft, ok?
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eebie · 9 months
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oh my boy what have you done now
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toubledrouble · 10 months
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Popping into this fandom after a while just to tell you guys that that one "i've got my eye on you" trend? Yeah that's definitely Ice when he first met Jake because I just know neither of them had a nice childhood/family. Just in case noone said this yet.
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hersweetrevenge · 11 months
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some more thoughts about corey's affair with mr allen. i feel like corey's irrational concern about staying on the allens' good side makes all logic leave his brain.
he's worried that jeremy will tell his parents he's a shit babysitter, but i really think that if that did happen, corey could probably have just spoken to roger about it and everything would have been fine.
if corey just told told him that jeremy had been playing up and he just couldn't handle him, then i honestly think roger would have believed him. he knows how besotted corey is, he knows how genuine he is. he also knows how awkward corey can be. it wouldn't have been the end of the world for corey to admit he wasn't up to babysitting again. like he said, he isn't a babysitter, he mows the lawn.
but, he is desperate to be seen as responsible and he feels like he has to be a perfectionist because how else will anyone love him, let alone respect him, if he's anything but?
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ufosecret · 4 months
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museum in the middle of nowhere
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deadmickeysart · 11 months
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Thinking about how I saw someone on here say that the Maisel fans know more about the show than someone who, you know, actually worked on the show??
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saturnvs · 1 year
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i'm way too hard on myself with my art.. i need to calm down
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rhendarzon · 8 months
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I can't believe someone on youtube actually remastered all of the RPG Maker OST, including XP
I love Aaron's version of the battle theme in AV1, i really do - but I first played when it was Battle02, and listening to it now, in its remastered version, is just... wow
it's so different
Here it is, if anyone's interested: Link
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monty-glasses-roxy · 1 year
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💙
Vanessa and Chica
I think they'd bond over cooking imo since Vanessa did some baking prior to the events of help wanted.
(Also, do you have a link to a post that tells me what heart means what? Thanks :D)
(PPS, I might ask something about Roxy later, maybe)
Yeah buddy the link to the post is right here!
💙 (Blue heart) for a friendship!
Yeah this is a fun one.
Vanessa seems big on the quality time and the parallel play kind of things so I can imagine they'd do all sorts of things together, with cooking being their most common one. Sometimes they end up playing 'truth or truth' (because Vanessa doesn't trust Chica to give her a dare that won't traumatise half the Plex inhabitants somehow and that's a valid concern) or just spending hours chatting while on some arcade game or another. They like that little uhh the air hockey table game a lot. They could have a sort of rivalry going on those things with a notebook full of their current score. That could be fun
Chica is the kinda person to plan who she's going to ask to hangout with ahead of time, and she always plans to spend time with Vanessa if possible. They can often be found in the office watching cake decorating videos or Gordon Ramsey. They seem like Gordon Ramsey watchers. Maybe they have a game where they try to beat his insults and it just ends with them both giggling like idiots?
On quieter days, maybe they just like venting to each other? Or maybe Chica likes to use Vanessa as a soundboard while Vanessa reads a book or something because she knows it's only a matter of time before Chica solves the problem her self and disappears again. She literally comes in, spends an hour and a half rambling, figures out the solution and vanishes without a single pause or break. Vanessa's pretty good at splitting her attention so it's not too hard to follow the basics of whatever Chica is saying.
Oooo wait wait wait. Chica speaks a mile a fucking minute sometimes. Like, if you miss even one word, you're left in the fucking dust... And Vanessa is the only one who has never been defeated. Chica is kinda curious if she ever will and she loves not having to slow her words down to something more understandable so Vanessa is the perfect person to talk to sometimes. Sunny is a close second but sometimes he can't keep up either and not a single person in the Plex understands how in the fuck Vanessa can keep up with this stuff.
There's definitely a lot of potential here!
Oh and of course, if Chica is incapable of eating (actually eating not just cramming food in her mouth) and tasting, she keeps bringing foods to Vanessa so she can explain how they taste and what the texture and smell are like, etc. Chica is fucking fascinated and Vanessa strikes me as a chronic 'forgot to pack a lunch' kinda person so it works out good for both sides.
Chica invited her to participate in girls night once. She said 'not a snowballs chance in hell.'
Truly, the only one with any fucking sense in this whole damn megaplex.
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Me: *explaining why everyone in the movie is an idiot*
My dad, not hearing a single word I'm saying: that's nice honey
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