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proudahgase-exol · 5 months

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Loving you is all I know.

Chanyeol x reader ft exo (angst)

Warning: cussing, mentioning of alcohol and cigarettes use.

Summary: you have a on/off relationship with Chanyeol It has been going on for four years now but this time it’s different you can’t take it anymore so you tell him how you really feel

Ps: if you like my work please like and reblog and comment if you like to 💞

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Y/n pov:

It happened again he ended the relationship he claimed that he was too busy to be with me but I wasn’t stupid I knew what he was up to by the many Instagram posts he would publish with another girl at clubs.

It sucked, to be honest, it hurt me so much especially since I’m his group assistant I was in charge of getting the boys from point A to point B I had to make sure they were always in time for everything so I pretty much had to see him every single day.

Now you might be asking why I always take him back and well that’s because I love him I've been in love with him since he debuted and there’s no other man like him i don’t want another man I wish I could stop loving him but loving him is all I know.

A few weeks ago he broke up with me for what feels like the million time it’s sad especially since his members pity me they give me This sad smile or when he is in the room with a new girl the boys try to make sure I’m okay.

Today I saw him again with of his many girls I can’t understand how it’s so easy for him to just throw me out like I’m garbage and even easier to come to look for me when he can’t find a new fuck toy it brakes my heart but I’m so fucking stupid that I keep letting him hurt me.

I was so sick of seeing him like that cline I was nothing like I was never part of his life when I went home I took a long bath with a bottle of wine trying to drink my pain away trying to forget his handsome face.

When I got out of the bath I got changed and walked to the back yard and sat down looking at the sky then I lit a cigarette I was never the girl that drank and smoked but after the third time of the many times Chanyeol broke up with me I try to find a way out a way to forget him and alcohol and cigarettes did the trick and every time we got back together I did stop.

As the days passed the guys started to notice a change in me I thought I had been hiding my alcohol and cigarette problem well but Kyungsoo found out he was gained to question me than the rest of the guys heard all the commotion and also started to question me luckily chanyeol still haven’t gotten here.

“Hey, have you been drinking?” Asked Kyungsoo

“N no,” I said turning away

“Yes you have I can tell and you also stink like cigarettes y/n wtf why would you do that,” he said racing his voice

“I haven’t now cat you stop,” I said turning back to face him

“Hey, what’s going on why are you guys yelling?” Junmyeon asks walking over to us

“She’s been drinking and smoking and don’t try to deny it I know what a hangover looks like and I can also tell what cigarettes smell like,” Kyungsoo said with disappointment

“Is that true? Y/n why would you do that” Minseok walking over to my side

“Don’t worry about me go get your stuff so I can tell you home” I said trying to change the subject

“Hey I know it’s about Chanyeol Hyung but don’t ruin your life like that for him trust me we hate him for what he’s been acting,” Sehun said walking up to me and hugging me

“I will get over this eventually but if this is the way it’s helping me then so let me it’s my life, not yours,” I said pushing Sehun away from me

“Hey what’s up guys what did I miss,” Chanyeol said walking into the dance practice room

“I’ll way for you outside by the car,” I said walking away as I took a brand new pack of cigarettes out of my jacket

As I was walking out the door I saw Chanyeol walking behind me but was stopped by Baekhyun and Jongin

Chanyeol pov:

I watched as y/n walked out of the dance practice room and I also saw her taking out a pack of cigarettes I turned around and asked the guys about y/n

“Hey, how long have a y/n been smoking?” I asked them

“A long time why,” Kyungsoo said

“Why didn’t you guys tell me,” I said getting mad

“You don’t care about her so what’s the point of telling you we didn’t tell her anything because we thought it wasn’t hers since she was not the type of girl to get drunk and smoke,” Baekhyun said

“I do care about her who told you I don’t,” I said getting defensive

“Dude if you did you wouldn’t have brake up multiple times you would respect her and treated her like you love her but you don’t,” Sehun said annoyed

“I know it’s none of our business but why do you keep breaking up if you're gonna end up going back to her?” Junmyeon asked

“I- I don’t know at first it was because I thought she should be with someone better but then I just liked messing around with other girls then realized that I love y/n then I went back to her but now I don’t know anymore,” I said looking at the floor

“Well either you fix your shit or you will only end up losing her for good,” Jongin said walking out of the room

I saw the way the guys walk away not looking back at me I knew they cared for Y/n I know they are siding with her because the truth is I’m the asshole I don’t know what I keep on doing this I truly love her I just got so used to this routine and didn’t saw that not only was I hurting her but also my friends and I need to fix it if I still can.

When I walked out of the building the guys were already in the car so I got in but Y/n was nowhere to be seen nor was Minseok so I asked Jongdae who was next to me and Minseok had taken Y/n out for drinks I don’t know if she drink too.

She used to be this sweet shy girl who wouldn’t drink nor smoke every time I drank she would take care of me and tell me I shouldn’t drink that much now she’s different she’s not the y/n I knew and I know I was the one who made her this way.

When we got home I was pulled to the side by Junmyeon who started to yell at me he was angry so we were there with other guys and all I could think about was if y/n was okay.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Junmyeon asked

“Sorry what did you say,” I said looking at him

“I ask if it made you feel good walking around with a different girl every week right in front of y/n do you like the way she looks at you or does it satisfy you knowing that the girl cries every day?” He asked looking at me with so much anger

“No, I didn’t know I was hurting her like that I-“ I didn’t know what else to say

“You unbelievable Chanyeol that girl is broken she’s so far gone and I know for a fact that the old y/n will never return” I saw walking past me and pushing me with his shoulder

I was so fucked I knew the boys love her she’s been with us since the beginning they care for her like family and it scares me that I’m the one who messed this up I’m the one that hurt her and I hate myself for that but I’ll try to fix it I’ll try to apologize hopefully I could do it get her back for good

Y/n pov:

After I walked out of the building I lit up my cigarette I was trying to hide my tears but I just couldn’t it hurt so much to see him so happy I felt like I was disposable like I didn’t matter to him that how he’s making me feel

As k wiped my tears I heard someone running up to me and saw that it was Minseok when he got close he took my cigar off me and turned it out then hugged me

“Hey it’s okay to feel sad you can cry don’t hold your feelings back I’m here if you ever need to talk I’m always here you know you can call me if you want a drinking buddy just call me and be like oppa telsngo for a drink and I’ll happily join you,” he said as he hugged me and kissed the top of my head

“But you get busy and tired and I don’t want to bother you,” I said wiping my tears

“It’s okay I don’t mind being tired and if I’m busy I know Sehun will love to drink with you we both know he can’t say no to a few drinks,” he said joking

“Yeah you're right but still you guys get busy and I know you get tired at the end of the day,” I said looking at him

“Don’t worry it’s alright now let’s go I know this place where they make the best good and have good alcohol what do you say? Let’s forget about everything for a while?” I asked me

“Sure let’s go but who’s taking the guys home?” I asked worried

“It’s okay I told someone that you were feeling bad and that I had to take you home so they sent someone to take the guys home now let’s go,” he said pulling me by the arm

When we were At the restaurant, we ordered our food and drink we chatted and then he asked if I wanted to talk about Chanyeol so I did I told him everything from the first time we broke up till now it hard to say it but it feels good to have told some about it than I changed the topic not wanting to talk about Chanyeol anymore so we talk about the boys and Minseok’s new girlfriend.

After a few more drinks and crying over the past Minseok took me home with the help of one of my friends when I woke up the next day my head was hurting so I got up and went to the bathroom I got cleaned up and went to the kitchen for breakfast I took my time eating than my way to get change so I can go to the boys since today they had a group meeting for their new comeback.

When I got to the building the boys were already in the lobby wetting for me and when I got close I saw Chanyeol making his way to me but a guy stopped by Baekhyun Then Junmyeon walked up to me and told me where the meeting was gonna be so we made our way there.

The whole time chanyeol kept looking at me like he wanted to tell me something but I ignored him I looked away and tried not to make eye contact with him.

After the meeting was over the boys went to their dance practice and i went to have another meeting with the managers and stuff. After it was done I went to check on the guys to see if they needed anything they told me they were all good so I walked away and on my way out the door chanyeol ran up to me and asked if we could meet up at his place to talk he said he will be quick so I agreed curiously.

After a long day of work, I went to the guys again to ask them if I was taking them or if they were gonna do something else. They said they were going out for dinner and then for some drinks so to not worry I left and my way to Chanyeol’s place.

When we arrived chanyeol was pulling up as well I waited for him in the lobby of his apartments while he parked the car. After a while he walk in the lobby and told me to follow him as we walk into the elevator we just stood there in an awkward silence until we arrived to his floor that was on the 10th floor.

When we got to the apartment he told me to make myself at home and I just scuffed but walked and took a seat on his couch a few seconds after I sat down Zzar came running from somewhere in another room and ran to Chanyeol but then turned around and run to me she jumped on the couch.

“Oh hey zzar you still remember me your such a good girl,” I said petting her

“Wow seems like she still remembers you but how can she forget the person who walked her every day and gave her delicious treats” Chanyeol said walking out to us

“So let’s cut the bullshit and get straight to the point what do you want to talk about,” I said not wanting to be here anymore

“Oh yeah umm I wanted to apologize for everything I have cussed you for all the pain I have given you I know our relationship was on/off and I also know how much I hurt you by bringing all this girl around,” he said looking down at his shoes

“Chanyeol you broke my heart no move but multiple times an apology won’t fix all the hurt you did to me,” I said getting angry

“I know I’m sorry for all the hurt I'm really sorry I wish I could fix everything I wish I could go back and not have done what I did I wish we were still together,” he said crying

“Answer me with honesty…… why did you do it in the first place? Was I a bad girlfriend? Was I bad at sex did I not satisfy you enough? Was I not pretty enough or smart? Is it my lack of experience what do all of those girls have that I don’t why do they get to go home with you and why do I get to go home and cry myself to sleep thinking I was the perfect girlfriend” I said crying

“Have you been blaming yourself all this time? Did you think every time we broke up was your fault?” He asked whipping his tears that were still falling

“Yes, every single time I thought it was me I still think so…. Is it my fault” I asked in a quiet voice

“Oh god no baby it’s never Ben your fault no once it’s always been mine I've been so greedy I thought of myself and not one of you or your feelings I know it was a dick move on my part at first I thought I would be happier in a new relationship but after a few days I regret it than I come crowing back to you and for some reason, you always took me back so I did it again until it became a habit than I saw Minseok hyung with his girlfriend and I remember you I remember how that used to be us but I had to mess it up,” he said sobbing

“Why did you do it you regret it why didn’t you stop when you felt regret why did you keep doing it” I asked confused

“Because I’m so stupid because I thought you would always take me back after breaking you but then someone told me that at some point you will get tired that you will relies on that you deserve better so I had to stop it”

“Y/n why do you keep taking me back every single time I break your heart I hurt you and yet you still receive me with open arms why,” he asked looking at me

“Because after so long of knowing you of loving you…. You kind of become my everything how loving you is all I know that’s why I always take you back” I said smiling

“Why Cigarettes why alcohol that not you at all why fuck I fucked up so bad,” he said crying harder this time

“Cigarettes and alcohol were my way of forgetting about you for a while it was like my escape from reality it made me feel numb,” I said smiling sadly

“This time I promise you I will be better I will be honest I will be the perfect boyfriend I will treat you like you deserve to be treated,” I said moving closer to me and holding my hand

“Look chanyeol I don’t think I can do this anymore I can’t trust you I can let myself fall for your lies once again I don’t think I can go through this all over again in hurt I’m tired of this cycle

I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love me like I love them” I said placing his dog on the couch and getting up

“Please I promise I will be better I will be the man you need and deserve please give me a chance I will be better this time I promise,” he said staying up as well

“I think you need to look for help because what you have been doing isn’t right take time off dating and messing around fix yourself,” I said looking up at him.

“If I do all that will you take me back will you give me a chance?” He begged

“I don’t know I need time to heal for all this I need time for myself I don’t want to give you hope because you did hurt me pretty badly,” I said looking away from his kicked puppy eyes

“I love you more than you think I do and I regret everything I have down I will do everything to fix everything I will fight for you I will make you fall in love with me it will be like a new start like getting to know each other for the first time hopefully I can make you fall in love with me once again and when I succeeded I will make sure to treat you like a queen to be the loyal boyfriend I should have been in the beginning I promise you that if it’s the last thing I do” he said hugging me tight

“Yeol I said it once before and I’ll say it again I love you and loving you is all I know but don’t push your luck and hope I know you are a good guy but I need healing and sometimes it might take years or forever I might move on from you.” I said giving him a sad smile

“Will you still work with us I will still get to see you right?” H eased hopeful

“This is my last week I will work for NCT there are a lot of boys that need my assistance you might see me around the building but I don’t guarantee that you will,” I said looking at him

“Oh I- “ I try to say something but stay silent

“Well, I have to go now I have a lot to prepare I won’t see you for the rest of the week I hope you have a good life and I hope you actually change l, bye Yeol I love you,” I said walking away from him and out of his apartment.

Chanyeol pov

I was so lost she was actually leaving me for good I was so late way too late for everything I should’ve apologized years earlier I should’ve never done anything I did I should’ve worshiped her when I heard her now I’m looking at her walk away from me and out my life as I did to her now it was my turn to pay for the pain I cause her it was my turn to suffer and feel everything she felt.

I was s,o stupid why did I think she would take me back like before Kyungsoo was right she would get tired and give up on me and she did she relished she deserved better and walked away and I didn’t blame her but I won’t give up I will fight for her I will wing her over and make thing right this time. For now I’ll be fixing myself first hopefully she doesn’t move on but if she does I won’t be mad I will make sure this new person in her life treats her better than I ever did.

- sorry if there’s any errors 🥺

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theluckyyyoneee · 1 year

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antipode | pcy

pairing: park chanyeol x reader

contents: high school!au, soccerplayer!chanyeol with like 1% actual inclusion of the sport, lots of inner turmoil, sad!chanyeol to happy!chanyeol, smooching, fluFF, yn gets hit with another soccer ball oof lmao

word count: 10,4k

summary: AlternateUniverseAU! When the guy you hate—and who you’re certain hates you—becomes your boyfriend after you swore he kicked a soccer ball at your head.

part 01 / part 02 / part 03:finale

“No, I really—”

“Oh come on, just try it!”

“No, I don’t think...”

Placing the guitar in your hesitant hands, you sighed in defeat at the look of pleading Chanyeol sent you, his pout changing in an instant to a smile of victory. He gingerly sat you down, then began directing your hands to the proper placements, a look of concentration as he attempted to fix the stiff joints in your fingers.

The more time you spent with this man, the less you were finding yourself able to defend yourself against any wishes he had. Whether it was going out shopping, to the movies, restaurants, random drives along the town, arcades, or in this case; impromptu guitar lessons.

Apparently you’d been receiving guitar lessons from Chanyeol for a few months now, and he was convinced that you two had practiced enough that maybe muscle memory would kick in and it could maybe trigger a long lost memory of some sort, or be able to play a short tune.

Which, yeah, it might’ve worked if it was you who had been receiving the lessons. But you weren’t.

Little did he know you weren’t the Y/n he knew and you were one hundred percent sure that this was going to go very badly considering you knew absolutely nothing about the guitar, just looking at the instrument filled you with tremendous anxiety and impending doom, not wanting to accidentally damage it with your inherent clumsiness.

Not that going to his house and meeting his parents for the first time didn’t twist your stomach into knots, either.

Chanyeol had mentioned when he’d first informed you of the guitar lessons that his parents really wanted to see you again, and that they wouldn’t stop bugging him about it, if you wanted to meet them, to which you agreed without much mulling over.

You didn’t see why not, even though you felt the nervousness build in the pit of your stomach at the mere thought of it. If you and him were going to spending a lot more time together, it was only right to meet his parents... ‘again’.

It was a bit intimidating walking up the porch steps to his impressive looking house, barely having set your feet inside and started to look around the room in wonderment for a tiny fraction of a second before you were suddenly being engulfed in a tight embrace.

“Y/n! We missed you so much, how are you doing now, dear? Are you feeling okay, you wanna sit down?” A comforting warmth enveloped you and felt yourself instantly and subconsciously relaxing entirely. “Are you sure you’re okay, honey? Remember, try to take it easy—”

She was cut off and pulled away from the heartening (she was highkey suffocating you) hug she’d cocooned you into by who had to be Chanyeol’s dad. “You’re gonna scare her away, relax a little.” He laughed charmingly to his wife, a mild expression of embarrassment graced her features as she gave you some space.

“Oh, I’m fine, please don’t worry. I appreciate the heartfelt welcome, I was a little nervous so it made me feel better,” you awkwardly got out, suddenly very shy with all the attention on you.

“Oh, you’re still so cute—”

Chanyeol quickly moved you to stand in front of him by the stairs, cutting his mother off in her move to gather you into what you guessed would be another smothering hug. “Alright, we’re gonna go upstairs now, you guys can talk to her another day, let’s not overwhelm her. I’ll leave the door wide open, don’t worry,” his voice was notably more hushed for the last thing he got out at the subtle look his mom sent his way.

Relief flooded you, you weren’t completely sure you could handle being alone in an enclosed space with him just yet. You sent an agreeing nod at his words, placing a polite smile on your face as you sneaked a glance at his face, daring you to think he was a little... embarrassed?

He was pushing you lightly up the stairs in front of you the next possible second, always making sure his eyes were averted away from you and to maintain a respectable distance your bodies. A soft smile came to your lips as you noticed this fact, his parents murmuring to each other with hidden smiles look how cute they are, glad that their son seemed to be happier lately and knowing just who was the reason for that.

The two of you rounded the stairs where he just as quickly took his hands off your shoulders, looking at you with an apologetic smile. “Sorry if my mom scared you, it’s just—you two were really close and she just misses you, I think. And, the—” Chanyeol paused to clear his throat, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked elsewhere, “the keeping the door open is one of my mom’s rules.”

He gestured to the closest room to you with pink cheeks. “Um, this is my room. I cleaned before you came over, I promise—and I’ll keep this open the whole time, okay?” He pushed the door completely open, but he made no further move, as if waiting for your permission.

“Thanks.” You shyly smiled up at him as you passed, silently examining the room you had just stepped into. It was very... him. You didn’t know why, but it felt like him. To the cool color of his bedding, the amount of soccer items adorning the room, medals adorning the walls. It made you smile at the strangely soothing scene in front of you. “It looks cozy.”

The words had slipped right out of your mouth on their own, not realizing until it was already too late. Silence surrounded the two of you and you graciously accepted his invitation to sit on the bed, turning around to grab something. Your heart raced in your chest as you tried to calm yourself down and willed yourself to act normal.

Back to the present, Chanyeol was still knelt in front of you as he finished the finger placements. Once he was satisfied, he hummed as a grin popped on his face, stepping away to stand in front of you.

“Alright, now try and see if you remember how to play an A Chord.” He reached for something behind him on his nightstand by his bed and turned around again, placing a plain dark blue pick in your hand.

“How would I even—” your attempt to dismiss this whole thing falters as you catch the hopeful glint in his eyes and took note of his feet that he had been shuffling back and forth in what seemed a nervous habit. He was peeking down down at you from under his hair as he chewed on the nail of his thumb. “Okay, let’s see...”

You were becoming a total softie for Chanyeol and it wasn’t something you knew how to stop.

You had no idea what chord he was talking about, and you had no idea where you were supposed to place your fingers on the coarse strings, but you shrugged and slowly placed them in a way that felt most natural to you and ran the pick softly along the strings, the resulting sound not at all an appealing one. Somehow you applied too much force and the pick ran down the strings very roughly, both of you cringing away at the sound, looking at him apologetically for possibly damaging his instrument.

“No, huh?”

“No,” he sighed, his shoulders slumping forward from their tense lock that he had them in. His face which was somewhat a mix between hopeful and expectant also fell, but he masked it quickly. A carefree smile adorned his lips as he shrugged off the weird mood that had rose between the two of you, coming to plop himself down right next to you. “It’s okay, you can learn everything again. No worries.”

“Wow, lucky me.” You joked, nudging him with your shoulder in a way to lighten up the mood, relieved when his grin turned more genuine, his eyes softening as the two of you stared at each other, your once calm heart began to pick up pace the longer you looked at him.

It was when you looked away and saw a picture of you and Chanyeol, framed, on his nightstand. Well, the other you. The original you.

You startled when you felt his fingers on yours, glancing down to see him rearranging your fingers into what you assumed was the correct placement for the A Chord, his lips forming words but you couldn’t hear him, your mind becoming the tiniest bit fuzzy as you were enveloped more in his warm embrace and the starting to become familiar scent of his cologne.

“You probably don’t remember, but the first time you came to my house, you...”

It was at times like these where you felt yourself feeling sorry for the man who was determined to keep you by his side. Feeling sorry that he was left to remember all these treasured memories alone.

You would study the wide and nostalgic smile that would appear on his face when he told you story after story of your many adventures and experiences the two of you embarked together. That smile would always vanish whenever he returned to the present and see you staring at him with a guilty expression that had in some way found its way to your face.

“Don’t feel sorry.” He would always respond to your remorseful apologies, gracing you with an ever kind and patient smile. But him smiling at you like that only made your mood worsen even more, knowing the only reason he was so understanding and sanguine was because he fully believed you were the woman he fell in love with, the woman he so desperately wanted back.

But you weren’t.

It was obvious from the countless tales you heard and watched him fawn over.

The Y/n in this universe was much more outgoing, brave and endearing than you ever considered yourself to be, people worried about her to an extent you really didn’t understand.

No matter how much you wished you were the person he fell in love with, the person that held his heart—that wish only growing stronger each day you spent with this charming and lovable human being—you could never be her.

You feared you wouldn’t be able to live up to his expectations.

Strange to think you’d ever be jealous of another version of yourself.

Chanyeol was a good teacher, he made you feel at ease as you fumbled and struggled to make a pretty sound out of the wooded instrument, reassuring you whenever you would retreat into yourself and hyping you up when you actually did something right.

Eventually you relaxed and was able to joke around with him somewhat, though the feel of his fingers covering yours was something you couldn’t get used to no matter how many times he helped you (he totally didn’t need to help you that much he just wanted to hold your hand).

Your phones vibration pulled you out of your thoughts and you reluctantly detached your fingers from his to find a message from Junmyeon, not realizing just how long you’d been here for. "Oh, I gotta go. I'm having dinner at Mr. and Mrs. Kim's house." Junmyeon had told you that his parents were worried about you, and how they too kept pestering him about inviting you over dinner, and he had finally caved and asked you yesterday to which you agreed.

You loved his parents almost as much you loved your own in your last universe, and you can only hope that they were the same as you remembered them, and they hadn’t changed as well.

“Oh, okay.” He hopped up from your side and you were instantly cold when you felt like you were burning up a few seconds ago. He placed the guitar back to its place in the corner where he kept it as you, too, stood up. “Um, so I’ll text you later?” Chanyeol scratched the back of his head and he stared at you with a hopeful expression, the tone of his voice giving away of how unsure he really felt despite the brave face he’d been putting on for you.

It was your fault he was suffering, you thought to yourself glumly. You told him you’d try and get to know him again, the word again giving an illusion that maybe he’d get back the relationship with the girl he loved and thought that you were again.

Filled with the false hope that things would go back to normal as he smiled at you so sweetly and comforted you. Here you were, liking him more and more each day as you were subjected to the past memories of his real love, which wasn’t you.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Chanyeol eyed you with worry etched onto his face as you had just suddenly zoned out. It was discomforting but it was also a regular occurrence. He so desperately wanted to find out what was in that head of yours, but didn’t want to overwhelm you any more than you already were. If only you trusted him as you did before.

"Huh?" Blinking, you regained your senses to find him staring at you in worry. You backtracked to what you two were saying before you got all lost in your thoughts and smiled at him as convincingly as you could, "yeah, we should figure out what to do later, let's do anything you want to do." As retribution, to ease this smothering feeling inside you.

You rang the doorbell, and it was as if they were just waiting by the door because it didn't even feel like two seconds later when the door swung open and Junmyeon was ushering you inside by the arm, a look of joy on his face. All you got out was a quick greeting to his parents and sister—who very excitedly ran up to you as soon as you entered the house and enveloped you into a big hug—who you acted a bit awkwardly around, because after all, this was your first time ever meeting her.

You were meeting a lot of people today. She was absolutely gorgeous, but of course that came as no surprise. Also you were still getting used to the fact that Junmyeon had a sister in this universe, fully expecting to see Minseok bound down the stairs and give you one of those big brotherly hugs you were missing at the moment.

“Let me talk to her first. Hey Y/n, glad you could make it, how are you?” Junmyeon spewed out the question after dragging you to a secluded area of his living room, not giving you the chance to even answer because after he took a quick breath, he was immediately continuing his rant, “there’s something that I’ve been curious about, and I was hoping you could answer it for me. I would’ve texted you but I knew you were coming over for dinner tonight, so I figured I’d just wait."

It took everything in you to not burst out laughing at his unexpected manic behavior. “Okay, what are you curious about?”

Have you found any substantial new evidence that would somehow be able to explain the possibility of parallel or alternate universe? Have you found out why you were sent here?

These were the types of questions you fully expected to be hit with from Junmyeon, ever the rational and inquisitive guy—

“In your universe, was I just as attractive and sophisticated as I am in this one? No, right? I’m the better Junmyeon, right?” He took extra precaution to make sure no one could possibly hear your conversation, lowering his voice down to a whisper and his eyes were wide with curiosity as they tracked your expression for a reaction.

You blinked at him for awhile before you choked out a laugh. Somehow with his insane question he managed to strangely rid the worries you had running through your head. You looked up at him and nodded, patting his shoulder as his eyes lit up in anticipation to your response. “You know, that’s a very Junmyeon number one thing to say.”

"Wait, is that how you've been referring to me in your head? Junmyeon number two?" It was funny how offended he seemed, even pointing at himself in disbelief, brows furrowed and mouth parted open.

"I mean, it is the number that comes after one, and I knew the other one first, so naturally..." You pursed your lips and shrugged nonchalantly, prolonging the teasing.

“I refuse to be known as a number two.” His face scrunched up in disgust as he said those words, shaking his head at you. Just then, you two were told that dinner was ready and you two started making your way to the table, but you couldn't help but tease him some more.

“You’re more annoying, though, number two."

Dinner was a bit bizarre for you to say the least. In the spot you clearly remembered Minseok occupying, now sat Jooyeon. You smiled fondly as you watched Mr and Mrs. Kim piling meat and more vegetables on her plate, speaking to her in the most adoring way.

It was a tender scene to gaze upon.

You’d always remembered Mrs. Kim telling you just how much she wished she had a daughter, and if you wanted to be the daughter she never had, that she’d treat you well. You didn’t doubt that for a second and it was nice to see they loved each other so much.

Jooyeon had taken hold of your hands after you helped bring the dishes to the kitchen and after you were refused in your offer to help clean and took you upstairs to her room. You figured you two were close from that action alone.

The standard interrogation about your health commenced and after you managed to ease her worries enough she switched the conversation over to Chanyeol with a gentle stare.

"So, how are you and Chanyeol doing? I can't imagine it's easy now that you lost your memories of him."

You nodded slowly, sat on her bed with her and you kept your eyes on your sock clad feet as you swung your legs softly, pondering on how to answer her question. “It’s still a little weird. I just feel bad, he’s trying so hard to get back the love he had with her...” you hadn’t noticed you had referred to the other Y/n in third person, as a separate person, out loud instead of in your head like you usually did.

“Unni,” she whined, eyes narrowed as she scolded you quietly. “Why are you talking like you’re another person?” You couldn’t help but look away from her intense gaze, only to whip around to face her again when she suddenly took your hand in hers, expression earnest and sincere. “Is that how you’ve been feeling lately?”

You sighed, “Chanyeol... is still in love with the me of the past....” Literally the Y/n of the past. Before you arrived here.

Jooyeon giggled, breaking your solemn state to gape at her in surprise, wondering what was so funny with your words. “Unni, the you of the past is you. The only thing that’s really changed about you is you losing six months worth of memories. But you gaining them back or not doesn’t affect who you are. Nor is it going to affect his love for you.”

His love for you... wasn’t meant for you.

“Chanyeol and me aren’t close at all,” Jooyeon started, glancing at you with big eyes that became the shape of crescent moons when she smiled after your prolonged state of silence, “but I do remember before you guys started officially dating, he approached me one day and asked what would be the best way to officially ask you to be his girlfriend. He wanted to impress you so bad, something you just couldn’t say no to."

“Really?”

She nodded enthusiastically, laughing a bit. “You would not believe how he wanted to ask you to be his girlfriend. He had this great idea—of course you know what I mean by great. Anyway, he obviously wanted something to do with soccer...” she started to tell you the specifics of the story but you got sucked into your own inner turmoil instead, a normalcy for you.

You were sure it was a nice story and all, probably very sentimental and affectionate just like him, but you really weren’t in the mood for a story right now. You weren’t any closer in figuring out why you were sent here, and was just racked in guilt the more time you spent with Chanyeol trying to find it out.

Jooyeon gave you a warm hug before you left, as did the rest of the Kim family. It was a nice break from your worrying and headed home feeling a little better than usual.

But it still didn’t stop you from further distancing yourself from Chanyeol.

You avoided answering his calls and texts, not knowing what to say to him at his sweet and excited offer of a picnic, managing to dwindle your guys’ interactions down to nothing more than a stranger you saw everyday.

Once again it was Saturday night, alone at home after telling your parents to take the night to themselves for their health and stress levels.

Just you and the night, you and the house to yourself, preparing to re-binge The Good Place for your stress levels. Or maybe you’d rewatch Shrek for the thousandth time. Who cares, you had no plans and nowhere to be besides your couch.

Which is why the knocking on the front door had scared you as much as it did. Your survival instincts about turned on as you sneakily looked out the peephole to slump against the door in relief, which turned into guilt.

Chanyeol.

You opened the door quietly, the two of you staring at each other for a few moments before you sidestepped to let him in, wordlessly asking him to talk. “You’re gonna let the bugs in, with you just standing there. You gonna come in or not?”

Hoping that your awkward teasing could ease this tension to being relieved about the small smile that had erupted on his lips at your words, following your lead.

He stepped towards you and you backed away instinctively and he entered your living room swiftly and you could only shut the door behind you as you and he eyed each other. “Why are you avoiding me again? Did I do something, I thought it was going well, I...”

It was his frustrated expression giving way to that sadness you’d also learned to associate with him, the ambivalence in his voice tearing you up inside.

“I’m not the person you fell in love with—” you ended spewing the true reason to ease his worries that it had anything to do with him. Just his happiness. “—and... and every time I look at you I just feel so guilty, and I’m really sorry.” You didn’t dare look at him and instead focused on the cuticles of your nails, your heart thundering in your chest as you heard footsteps coming closer.

Warm fingers wrapped around your wrists to gain your attention gently, the words being spoken as equally soft and tender. “What are you talking about? Of course you are.”

“No, I’m not.” You frowned as you said that, not knowing how to get him to understand that you were but a replica of the true Y/n he fell in love with, is in love with.

Chanyeol’s concerned face came into view before you were pulled into his embrace suddenly, his arms wrapped securely around you to hold you tight against him. “Sure, it’s taking a little longer for you to let go and trust me, and you’re a little more shy than I remember,” his words were spoken with a small laugh, an easy grin on his lips as he glanced down at you. Averting your eyes as you listened to him list the differences, he sighed softly before continuing, his arms tightening around you, “but you’re still the same unbelievably charming and adorable person. And besides, they’re just new sides of you I got to fall in love with. It was like falling in love with you all over again.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you pulled back enough to stare into his eyes in surprise, feeling so... happy.

He... was falling in love with you?

You?

He stared back at you in full earnestness, his sure expression telling you a thousand words in the silence between the two of you.

You couldn’t tell which one of you started closing the distance between you two, maybe both of you, but all you were able to concentrate on was his whisper as he leaned in closer, “I only hope you can say the same.”

“I can.” The words left your mouth unthinkingly in response to his own words, your heart thump thump thumping in your chest as you bravely pressed a small kiss to his lips, leaning up on your tiptoes using his shoulders for support as Chanyeol gazed at you like you had hung the stars in the night sky.

Reaching up and tenderly pushing fallen strands of hair behind your ears, Chanyeol leaned down the rest of the way and enveloped your lips in another kiss, a proper kiss, cradling your face and softly caressing your jaw in a manner that matched the way his lips met with yours, careful yet you could feel the yearning and longing. Incredibly soft and a bit hesitant at first, the kiss slowly grew more passionate though still maintaining that slow burn that did exactly that.

His hands slowly made their way down your shoulders and sides to settle at your hips, squeezing your flesh gingerly as he pulled you closer to him. You felt him smile into the kiss as your fingers slowly ran along his broad shoulders to feel the soft locks in between your fingertips, your lips mirroring his in an instant, subconsciously.

Suddenly wrapping his arms around your middle, he picked you up off the floor so your feet were dangling in the air, he pulled away from your lips as he swung you around like the two of you were the main characters in a cliche romcom—which you’d never admit out loud you enjoyed just a little bit.

“Will you please go on a picnic with me tomorrow?” He still had that tight grip on you, not seeming the least bit tired from holding you up as you clung to him for dear life, pouting at you from a few inches away.

Your lips still tingling with the lingering sensation of his on yours, you felt your heart about melt in your chest. Remembering the position you were in, being pressed up against him had your face flushing and you tapped his shoulders to wordlessly signal you wanted to be let down which he did without question and immediately, you taking a couple steps back as you sobered up a little, your past actions coming back to you.

“You sure you still wanna... be with me after how I’ve been treating you all this time?” You mumbled the words to the ground, shame enveloping your entire being at your behavior and you couldn’t find it in yourself to meet his eyes.

“Do you need me to declare my love for you again to get through that thick head of yours? Or maybe another kiss?” His tone turned playful his last four words he spoke, your eyes flicking from your dining room table to him in response, that cheeky smirk you were used to seeing adorned on his lips. The confidence in his stare making you almost choke on your spit as you hurried to look away, cheeks and neck warming up comically fast.

“I love you, and I think I heard you tell me you love me, too?” His gaze switched to a much softer and genuine one, an encouraging smile on his lips that replaced the smirk as he waited for you to agree with his words, a pleased look on his face, shrugging casually as he reached over to envelop your hands in his. “Then everything else doesn’t matter, not even your lost memories—oh, as long as you promise to not run away anymore and talk what you’re feeling out with me before pushing me away. Deal?”

Feeling completely at ease for the first time in a long time, you smiled and nodded at his words. “I can do that.”

“Good.” Chanyeol all but collapsed onto your couch, never letting go of your hands as he did so, situating himself as close as he could possibly sit next to you without one of you ending up on the lap of the other person, the mere idea of sitting on his lap had your cheeks on fire. He pinched your cheeks, his tone back to teasing along with a wide smile as he asked, “What are you thinking about that’s got your face so red?”

Glaring at him, you removed his hands from your face but kept the contact as you faced the television that was still going on, clearing your throat. “I’m not thinking about anything, it’s just hot in here. It’s basically summer and you’re sitting so close to me, scoot over there.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t tease you anymore, just don’t make me move. It’s so nice to finally be able to be with you like this again.” He clung to you like a koala would cling to a tree, which was funny because it seemed like a tree clinging to a koala with how different you two were in sizes. Though maybe you should compare him to a kitty or puppy with how he was rubbing his face along the fabric covering your shoulder.

Chanyeol squeezed your hand tighter in his before relaxing and laying his head on your shoulder as he realized what show was playing. “Oh, I like this show. Especially how Eleanor and Chidi kept falling in love with each other even after getting their memories erased.” His head shot up from your shoulder to shoot you a sweet grin. “Kind of like you. Which I can’t say I blame you or that you really stood a chance, I am pretty charming.”

Rolling your eyes, you playfully began detangling yourself from his hold, to which he clung to you tighter, not knowing just how much his words resonated with you but didn’t let it show. “Yeah, yeah, I just can’t escape you, huh?” His smile turned a bit puzzled at your little inside joke but before he could ask you about it, you smiled down at him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before patting your shoulder for him to lean on again, heart racing in your chest at your brave actions and at his words as he relaxed into your hold again.

“If it was me who lost their memory, I think I’d still end up falling in love with you, too. Even if I was somehow transported to another world, and I had the extreme luck to find you wherever I was, I don’t think I could help but fall for you over and over again.”

Soccer was more difficult than you’d previously believed it to be. You thought it was just kicking a ball around a field in knee high socks, not ever having paid attention to the intricate and tedious footwork that needed to happen immediately during a match.

You honestly didn’t think it would be this hard to make a fucking goal, an as wide as the ocean goalpost, and no one was even blocking you, at least not anymore.

“Park Chanyeol! This is cheating! You’re not even on her team, you can’t just help her because she’s your girlfriend!” You snickered to yourself as your boyfriend’s lanky form happily and all too eagerly blocked the annoyed younger man as you struggled to keep the ball rolling in front of you while running like a maniac towards the goal, having tripped over your own feet more times than you’d like to admit.

Ignoring Sehun’s irritated voice as it rang in the air all the while he attempted to escape Chanyeol’s hold to steal the ball from, Jongin was so unconcerned, cackling beside him as he aided in keeping him further from you. Quickly approaching the goal, you kicked the ball into the net a few moments later, as uncoordinated as possible. It was only then that Sehun was released, his lethal glare aimed at all three of you, which you were shielded from as Chanyeol rushed over to excitedly embrace you, arms wide.

The excitement about having scored a goal came back to you and you jumped into his waiting embrace, Jongin’s cheering and Sehun’s it doesn’t count! faded into the background as you melted into his arms, not even minding the fact that the two of you were sweaty from running around in this hot weather.

“Thank you for helping me score a goal, but I feel bad you guys lost, even if it was just for practice.” You propped your chin on his chest as you looked up at him, your lips forming a subconscious pout. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to your mouth, smiling down at you so softly that you knew he wasn’t upset about losing at all, this extremely competitive guy.

“It was Sehun’s idea in the first place, having a mock two vs. two match. He makes us practice everyday, and now you know that even the weekends aren’t safe from him hounding us. I know it’s not the most fun for you to just watch us run around the park, so I’m glad I could assist you in having some fun. Don’t worry too much.” Chanyeol tried easing your worries as you snuck another glance at a grumpy and sulky Sehun who had his arms crossed over his chest as Jongin seemed to gloat about something you couldn’t hear.

He really was upset.

Seeing where your gaze led, Chanyeol turned his head to glance over at him as well, Sehun scoffing and turning around as he did so. “Eh, he’ll get over it.” Chanyeol turned back to you with a cheeky grin on his face. “I doubt he’s upset at losing as much as he is that he lost to Jongin. Those two arranged a bet before we started playing, Sehun thinking it was an easy match to win since you, uh... play as well as a toddler does.”

Choosing to disregard the way he’d laughed as he dissed your soccer skills because they were true, you really did not play well, you tsked mockingly at him. “Wow, betraying one of your best friends for me. I didn’t know you liked me that much.”

You were sure the two of you were about to have an incredibly sappy moment, but before it could happen it was interrupted by a shout in your guys’ direction.

“Alright, she’s not allowed at practices anymore, our star player keeps getting distracted at practices.”

He rolled his eyes at Sehun’s words, stepping away but keeping an arm around your waist and kissing your temple, silently urging you not to take his words to heart. “Chill out. You’re just mad you lost.”

“I lost? We lost, you traitor.” At that, he decided he was done talking and began walking back to the center of the field, and you knew he wasn’t too mad or upset when he waved you guys over to him. “Well, what are you guys doing? The game is a week away and we need all the practice we need! Let’s go!”

Jongin had warmed back up to you pretty quickly after your relationship with Chanyeol improved, treating you warmly and it was like meeting a long lost friend, feeling weirdly comfortable around him and getting along surprisingly well when you hadn’t expected it to be so easy.

Sehun on the other hand... well, it wasn’t as if his distrust came from nowhere. He still regarded you with suspicion, something you completely understood. Responding in five words or less to anything you asked or said to him, fighting a smile at any joke you would crack, he was unrelenting.

He was locked onto your every action and word, every expression that crossed your face, especially whenever you interacted with Chanyeol around him. His intense stare daring you to break his bestfriend’s heart again on his watch. A nonverbal warning: I’m watching you.

It stung, oddly enough, but you knew you deserved it, so you didn’t push it.

As if sensing you were getting lost in your thoughts, Chanyeol squeezed your hand in his and led you to the blanket he’d laid down on the ground for you earlier. Sitting you down and placing some food, drink and your book you’d brought in front of you, he kissed your cheek sweetly and ran back to Sehun and Jongin before he got yelled at again.

Jongin shook his head at the lovesick puppy heading towards him while Sehun just eyed the two of you sternly before initiating some drills. Chanyeol made sure to get your attention from your book every now and then with excited calls of your name, shooting you wide smiles with a big wave and you would smile and wave back just as happily.

Things between you and Chanyeol were going amazing. You had no idea that you’d ever like someone this much, and you still thought you didn’t really deserve him. But he always made sure to let you know how happy he was with you, and who were you to argue when he looked at you with that smiling face?

Maybe it was because you were ridiculously happy with how things were going, but you were even branching out and willingly initiating conversations with people around you, something you’ve never done in your life past age ten.

Even your tense relationship with Sehun seemed to improve over time. You were a regular at soccer practices now, lazing around reading and yelling out encouragements from the bench. The big match was set just a few days from now, and you were handing out waters to the heavily sweaty and exhausted players and Sehun took the water you offered him with a small thanks and a smile.

Chanyeol’s answering grin matched yours as he saw how excited you were, playfully tackling Sehun to the ground, the latter fighting his laughter as he fought the other giant off him.

“Listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being so hard on you, especially when you lost your memories and all.” Sehun shocked you as he sprung you with this heartfelt apology out of nowhere. “I just saw my bestfriend hurt and took it out on you. But you make him happy and I’m glad he has you. You’re okay in my book.” His expression was warm as he playfully punched you on the arm, the two of you sharing a laugh as he suddenly straightened and warned in a more serious tone, “I’m still watching you, though, and if you hurt him, you’ll be answering to me. Got it?”

You saluted him and shouted a, “Yes, sir!”

Yeah, you were happy where you were right now.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be here after hours!” You whisper-yelled after Chanyeol’s jogging figure, trying your best to stay quiet and follow his fast pace, paranoid as you looked behind you every other second.

He led you through the fence with an easy smile, bringing you closer as he adjusted his gym bag over his other shoulder. “Come on, look, the lights are on and everything. It’s like they wanted us to sneak in. I just want to practice my aim before the big game tomorrow. It’ll help calm my nerves. Please? Hmm? Please?”

“Ugh, no fair. You’re too cute for your own good.” You grumbled your answer after he stretched out the last please, looking down at you with those wide eyes and that pout you could never say no to.

Grinning and laughing in victory, he set his bag down on the empty bench and brought his hands up to run through your hair. “That’s my line.” You shooed him away after his cheesy line, smiling to yourself as he ran to the field with the soccer ball he’d brought from home.

Graduation was coming up right around the corner and here you were, still stuck in this alternate/parallel world, whatever you wanted to call it. You still had no idea how or why you were here, but you were done complaining or contemplating.

You honestly had no idea if you would ever go back to the world you came from, but decided not to stress it too much. Things were great—more than, beyond great—here and it just felt right—

“Y/n! Look out!”

Heart rate elevating at the sudden warning, you shook yourself out of your daze and realized with impending doom that the soccer ball was very quickly and very accurately making its way right towards you.

Oh shit.

Experiencing major deja vu, gazing at the same beige walls and sat in the same stiff twin bed in the nurses room, your left temple throbbing and the now familiar feeling of an ice pack being placed on your head made you freeze.

Oh no.

You knew by now who was your company by the smell of his laundry detergent and cologne. You kept your eyesight fixed in front of you, flinching slightly as Chanyeol adjusted the ice on your bruise, afraid of the reaction he would make once you made eye contact with him.

What had changed now? What kind of life were you living now and what role did he play in your life this time? And would he play a major character no matter what life you lived?

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” his words were breathy and rushed as you flinched again as he pressed down a bit harder than he meant to, his anxious expression coming into view as you finally gathered the courage to turn your head in his direction, not liking how distressed he was.

What did you say, how did you react? Did you snap at him or tell him that everything was alright and that you were okay?

“Please say something.” Chanyeol practically begged from beside you, only growing more and more uneasy as you continued in your silent staring contest.

“Can you hand me my phone?” You asked slowly and awkwardly, watching him nod quickly and quickly hop up from his seat to where you saw your bag lay on the floor by the door, heard some rummaging and before you knew it, your phone was being carefully placed in your hand. “Thank you.” You mumbled quietly, heart racing at the possibility of either seeing his face on your screen but were instead met with familiar album cover you remembered setting.

Were you back?

It was then you noticed several messages waiting for you, your passwords being seen as correct now and you saw it was from Junmyeon, a sense of relief you so wanted to believe blossoming in your chest.

Did you give the notebook to him?

I’d rather be tutoring tbh my grandma has fed me at least 20 of those disgusting peppermints already. save. me.

also i barely managed to escaped minseok’s wrath by a few seconds lol

“We have Ms. Lee’s class together, right?” You waited with bated breath after asking that question, watching Chanyeol’s brows furrow in confusion at your odd question, studying the way you casually responded to Junmyeon’s texts, sending back yes, but come over when you can, we need to talk

“Um, yeah. Yeah, we do.” Chanyeol nodded as he answered you to which you sighed in relief at his response. So far so good.

You were back. You think.

Swinging your legs around the stiff bed, you slowly stood to your feet, eyeing his helpful hands on your arm with a bit of uncertainty. You continued to eyed him strangely as he gently offered you your bag and held the door open for you.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you dizzy?”

Jongin and Sehun surrounded you as you two exited the nurses office and you shrank back a bit from their sudden proximity and intense inspections, this scene also very familiar... yet not at all.

“Guys, give her some space.” Chanyeol emerged in the middle of you, pushing them back the tiniest bit to give you space to breathe.

“Oh, sorry. We haven’t introduced ourselves yet, huh? I’m Sehun and this is Jongin.” Their observant expressions changed in an instant to cheeky grins as they waved to you in a casual manner, like you weren’t currently sporting yet again another head injury. “We’ve seen you around school a lot, but we’ve never actually talked.”

You blinked at his words, your eyes transitioning from one to the other, remembering just how close you three got in the other world... or wherever you were. But you just nodded a little in silent greeting and turned to walk away. Like last time, you really needed to go home and make sure you were really home now.

“H-Hey, are you sure you don’t need to go to the doctors? I can help you—”

Shaking your head, you flinched slightly and told Chanyeol quickly when you saw him start to make his way over to you. “I’m fine, really. I can go by myself.” Not that you really felt you needed to go, the last time you went to the hospital for this, they just did a bunch of expensive tests that came back normal and gave you an ice pack and some painkillers in the end.

But you had a feeling you’d be going whether you wanted to or not.

“Are you sure? I just...” he offered again, a guilty expression clear as day on his handsome face, you having the strong urge to grab his hand in an effort to calm him down, but knowing you couldn’t or shouldn’t. “I just feel really bad.”

“You should.” Sehun piped up from behind him, to which you sent an amused glance to.

“As long as it wasn’t on purpose, it’s okay.”

“I swear it wasn’t.”

You nodded at his words, your previously belief of him kicking the ball at you on purpose long gone now as you stared at the transparent distress adorning his face. “I believe you, no worries. Just be careful next time.”

“She’s surprisingly laid-back for just getting knocked out. Maybe she's still out of it? I thought for sure she’d at least rip an arm or leg off,” Jongin murmured to himself after you left, eyeing the door you’d calmly exited from.

“Way to go, Chanyeol. Knocking your crush out with a soccer ball you kicked because you were trying to impress her. Might as well give up now.”

“I told her everything was fine, that I didn’t need to go to the hospital.” You sighed to Junmyeon on your bed, throwing yourself back with another sigh, placing the extra strength painkillers and your ice pack down on your nightstand after your long hospital visit, Junmyeon having rushed over once he heard the news.

“Y/n, obviously she’s gonna take you to the hospital, what if you got amnesia and lost your memories, or something? Plus you asked something weird as soon as you saw me...”

That was true. As soon as you saw your long-lost bestfriend, you asked, “How many friends am I lucky to have?” To which he answered with a confused expression, “...three?”

You erupted into laughter at that, laughing more as you saw the same confused expression spread across his face at your reaction. “Why are you laughing? This is not something to laugh about, young lady!”

“Sorry, I just thought you’d find it funny.”

“Why would I find this funny?”

You just shrugged as he stared you incredulously, as if you had lost your mind, a secret smile on your face as you thought about Junmyeon number two.

"Well, I’m glad that you’re okay, but didn’t you say you had something you wanted to talk about?"

Pursing your lips in thought, you debated telling him about the whole strange journey you’d been on, but decided that maybe it’d be better to leave it in the past, as a strange memory; a dream, nothing less and nothing more than that. “Nothing, I just missed you, best friend.” You leaned over and wrapped your arms around his middle—or at least attempted to.

“Ew, what are you doing?” Junmyeon evaded your touch at the last second, jumping up and created some distance between the two of you, pressing himself against your wall as he stared at you in obvious disgust, you glaring back at him after you regained your balance. “What do you mean you missed me, we just saw each other a few hours ago before you ran into a soccer ball.”

“Fine, I didn’t miss you. And I did not run into a soccer ball, I got hit with a soccer ball, there’s a difference.”

“Chanyeol kicked the ball at you, right? I thought he liked you and was just awkward expressing it, but maybe not if he’d do something so despicable. I’m gonna get revenge for you, Y/n, don’t worry.” Junmyeon began ranting at high speed and all you could do was stare in both mild shock and terror as the glint in his eyes grew more and more calculating. “What should I do—I know! I’m gonna give him all the wrong material for the finals so he’ll fail and—”

“Oh my god, remind me to never get on your bad side.” You grew more alarmed as more words escaped his mouth, the expression on his face growing more and more passionate as he worded his plans out loud and you hurried to stop him and clear the misunderstanding. “But I don’t think he did it on purpose anymore, so there’s no need. You can reign in your inner psycho again, please.”

“You’re even sticking up for him now? What the hell, what brought on this change, did you get hit harder than I thought?”

You smacked his hand away that was slowly approaching with narrowed eyes, before sighing. “I don’t know, just call it a random change of heart and leave it at that.”

“I’m gonna keep a close eye on you. You say you’re fine but you’re acting really weird, you know that, right?”

Simply nodding at his words, he sighed and exhaled as he made his way to your door. “Alright, well I’d better go and let my parents and Minseok know you’re okay. Call me if you need anything, but you probably won’t. You’re a big kid, you got this. Fighting.”

You snickered at his lackluster encouragement and also at him trying to slip in his support for you before insulting you; something that happened every time you got hurt. “Tell them I said hi and that I’ll visit soon. And go already. You’ve stayed too long and I didn’t have the heart to tell you to leave when you’re this worried about lil ol’ me.”

The finger is the only reply you received before you heard him yell from the staircase below moments after he left your room, “By the way, I gave Chanyeol your number! Bye, love you!”

The slight rustling of the leaves in the trees from the cooling wind mixed with the warm sun hitting your face calmed your nerves a little. You were sat on a bench located in a park close to your house, gazing up at the clouds in the ceaseless blue sky.

You’d gotten a text from Chanyeol almost immediately after Junmyeon told you he’d given him your number. He’d apologized repeatedly and to let him know if there was anything he could do for you.

Replying back that you were fine and not to worry, you’d asked him to meet you at said park after soccer practice on Friday if he had time, which was today. He’d texted back not even ten seconds later, agreeing and that he would see you there.

You remember smiling to yourself and thought that maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. Now that you were back, you just didn’t want to waste anymore time. You wanted to hash things out, clear things up... and maybe, you missed him just a little bit.

“Y/n!” The sound of your name being called by that oh so familiar voice had your head turning to the right, eyes widening as you saw Chanyeol sprinting full speed in your direction. He was still dressed in his soccer uniform, barely managing to stop himself from running into your perched figure at the last second, drenched in sweat and trying to talk through his panting. “Sorry... I came as fast as I could... you weren’t waiting long, were you?”

Shaking your head, you scooted to the left a bit, patting the bench next to you for him to take a seat to rest. “Did you run here straight from practice?” He took a seat with a grateful smile, nodding to your question. “You could’ve taken your time, it’s really nice, I don’t mind waiting a bit. I feel bad for rushing you.”

“Nah, don’t worry, I’m used to running. I just didn’t want you waiting alone long.”

Chanyeol’s words had your skin warming and you were sure it had nothing to do with the weather. He was still trying to catch his breath and you eyed his matted hair and that drop of sweat that was beginning to run down the side of his face.

Knuckle gingerly meeting the skin right above his eyebrow, you froze the next second in alarm, screaming to yourself what the hell are you doing. Wide eyes staring at each other, the two of you stayed in that position for a short while before you averted your eyes and cleared your throat awkwardly, letting your hand fall back into your lap.

He wiped the sweat off his face as best he could, scooting further from you a bit. “Sorry if I smell like sweat, I should’ve showered quick before meeting you. How’s your head?”

“I’m good. My doctor said there’s nothing to worry about as long as I take it easy the next few days.”

“That’s good to hear, I really am sorry about... everything, again.”

It was a bit of an awkward silence between the two of you and you took in a deep breath, deciding to just get straight to the point when Chanyeol spoke up before you could. “I think I know what you wanted to talk about... I-I heard from Junmyeon, when he gave me your number, that I might’ve said and done some things to make you think that I don’t like you. But I swear that’s not it and I can explain, if you let me.”

You were taken aback by his words, and you tore your eyes away from your lap to look up at him in shock. He became more nervous the longer you took to reply, hearing the gravel beneath his feet as he began shuffling them a bit. “So you don’t... hate me?”

He shook his head at your question, completely earnest as he rushed to reply. “I could never hate you! It’s just the opposite! I’m just... not good at this flirting thing...”

Eyes going wide at his admission, you felt your heartbeat thunder in your chest. “F-Flirting? This whole time you’ve been... flirting with me?”

An embarrassed look crossed his face at your question, nodding slowly. “Yeah... or at least I was trying to.”

“Oh.”

You felt bad that that was all you could say, but your mind was going a trillion miles a second trying to process the information you’d just learned. It was like your brain was correcting old incorrect flashbacks of when you thought he was out to get you, but now that you knew he wasn’t, you could now see clearly in your mind just how purely happy his smile always was whenever he saw you.

Then that time when he’d asked if you and Junmyeon were dating... And here you were thinking he was a giant jerk when really he—

“Remember when I asked you if you had any friends in class all those months ago?”

“Of course, I do. I was so embarrassed...”

“What I uh, what I actually meant to ask that day was if I could be your friend.”

“Huh?”

“I’m serious...”

You stared at him, not totally believing him, still remembering the humiliation you felt that day clearly. “So you asking me if I had any friends...” you trailed off and looked at him expectantly, needing to reassure yourself, to hear his side again to really determine if you believed him or not.

“I really didn’t mean to embarrass you, I promise. I just really wanted to become friends—I still do! You just... you kind of intimidate me, and I thought... that you’d be less likely to reject my offer of friendship if I did it publicly and it came out like that...”

“What about the, ‘Nice hair, sleeping beauty!’ comment?”

Chanyeol blinked at you, pink dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears as he averted your eyes, gaze falling briefly on your tendrils dancing softly in the wind before quietly answering, his gaze glazing over a little as a soft smile crept up on his lips. “Well, you do have nice hair. It’s really pretty and I’ve... always liked it. But that day was the first and only time I’ve seen you with your hair up, so I was able to see your face—” he abruptly cut himself off as he felt himself begin to ramble, eyes widening as he shook his head to get back to the question at hand, he finished abashedly, “—and the sleeping beauty comment was because it was also the first and only time I’d ever seen you not show up early to school from oversleeping, so I just blurted it out... maybe I shouldn’t have done that...” He met your stare again as he offered a sheepish smile.

Your poor heart couldn’t keep up with the words you were hearing leave Chanyeol’s mouth. He was too cute. Pure.

Not a malicious thought in that brain of his. You were having trouble fighting back the smile that wanted to show itself.

“...and the, ‘What’s up, nerd? And knocking the books out of my hands?” You couldn’t look him in the eyes but when he straightened suddenly, you glanced at him, not expecting the adorable clumsiness of a reason for the incident.

“I knocked your books out of your hands when I tripped?”

It was your turn to blink at him. “You’re saying you fell?”

Chanyeol nodded slowly, a laugh escaping him. “I’m actually really clumsy. I can’t go a day without tripping on my own feet at least once. I’m really sorry I knocked them out of your hands. I was trying to get your attention so I called you nerd as a kind of a nickname of sorts, ‘cause you’re always studying hard and reading a new book every time I see you, and I remember tripping right when I was walking past you and I... got embarrassed and sped out of there... sorry.”

The more you listened to him, the harder it was to keep a neutral expression in order to not make is apparent embarrassment any worse. You didn’t want him to think you were laughing at him, but he was just so... cute. How could you have ever misunderstood him so badly?

Seemingly oblivious to the smile almost erupting on your lips, he continued without a pause. “My friend told me that girls like the confident, bad boy type. That I had to pretend that I had no interest in you whatsoever, but I still wanted to talk and see you so I just...” he trailed off, his features scrunching up as he ruffled his hair with a quiet groan. “Okay, now I see it.”

You couldn’t keep the full-blown grin anymore and burst out laughing. “Which friend told you all that? It was Sehun, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah! How’d you know it was him?” Chanyeol was smiling in response to your smile but also in amazement at how you immediately guessed right.

“Just a guess. But I don’t think he’s the best person to be getting advice from, for future reference.”

He laughed with you, breathing out a big sigh next to you. “Did I... answer all your questions?”

“You really didn’t mean to hit me with the soccer ball, right?”

“No, of course not!” He was quick to defend himself, shuffling his feet and awkwardly fiddling with his fingers as he muttered softly, “I was trying to impress you by making a goal, not realizing that you weren’t even paying attention and it somehow hit the goalpost at an angle and... I’m really sorry.”

Nodding at his answer, you ducked your head for a few seconds before interlacing your fingers into his, sending his shocked self a smile. “Okay.”

“O-Okay?”

“I can see now that I’ve misunderstood you this whole time, and I’m really sorry for that. And... if it’s okay with you, I’d like to get to know you and see where this takes us.”

It was a sensation of deja-vu;

the way he absolutely beamed down at you, his grin wide, eyes formed into crescents...

down to the way your insides felt all warm just from looking at him.

even down to his reply:

“That sounds great.”

Maybe it was worth taking a risk on people sometimes, especially when someone you least expected to becomes so special to you, becomes the first person to make you feel this way, that someone who smiles at you like that.

tag list: @rashidamesrur @totallynerdstuff @organic-hemp @etaerealboy @yasmini24 @imlonelysometimeshappy @rpavlxk @sebootyforlife @arinamesari @xxluckydreamsxx @delightpcy @buttercupbbh @coffee-prince-kyungsoo @aarohadream

i was planning on going into more detail, but it just felt right stopping it there and i really like this ending lol. no excuses yall, i’m so sorry this took so long. i’ve not had the will to write ANYTHING but here it is!! i hope yall like it as much as i do after writing for the first time after a bit. much love! ty for everyone who stuck w this series T.T ♥ ♥ ♥