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#everyone's so isolated it's painful
constantvariations · 9 months
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Man I wish the White Fang had numerous community programs like the BPP did. It would've been super cool to see Adam and Blake interact with other faunus outside of missions and the WF. I like to imagine Adam volunteering to teach people self defense while Blake spends some down time teaching people how to read and maybe they're both banned from the kitchens because they accidentally started a small grease fire because they're used to cooking on the road and not with fancy dancy equipment
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Legit sitting and daydreaming about finding hidden walls and secrets in Silksong and hearing that sound again
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clerichs-xi · 4 months
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tender as a bruise, sharper than a razor wrap her tentacles around me like she'll never let me go
klaus' backstory arc just ended heho and it was revealed he used to be the lover of the goddess of storms and pirates... she had basically kidnapped him and imprisoned him into murder and piracy for 20 years and needless to say it greatly damaged him on every level <3 its okay he's been able to be normal for once since the start of the campaign thanks to the party aka his new found family
get urself a surrogate middle-aged father who can speedrun a forbidden romance in one minute and then immediately go to confront the darkest version/a corrupted version of himself, as well as his toxic lover as she tortures him -w-)b
details and just the lines hehe
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#clerichs.png#my artwork#original character#original art#original illustration#digital art#digital painting#digital illustration#dnd character#oc#oc illustration#im so unnormal about him.#he got hurt soo badly in isolation... thats where all the scars in his ref came from </3#this portrait is of the one scar his goddess did not give him.... </3#tfw ur jealous sea goddess lover pits you against other pirates and sea monsters to fight for ur life and test ur devotion#and she promised to love you wholly only for u to realize she doesn't understand or know what love is#and only wanted it bc everyone else who had love seemed so happy and she wanted that too#so after she destroyed everything you loved (literally your entire world) she merely treats u as a possession for 20 years#and you don't know how to ask for love because you don't know how to love either so you resent her and everything and everyone#leading rage to build up within you and you willfully slaughtering so many things because you cant handle your emotions and pain#and after deflating and sinking into apathy a rogue priest manages to break ur exterior and touch you deeply enough to let you love again#and because of him you're able to begin breaking free of everything and you lose everything again but this time#this time you wake up in a crate of fish to outstretched hands and people who love you as family even after learning who you are/were#filling you with strength and willpower even as your goddess lover comes back swearing she loved you and loves you still#and she tortures you and threatens to take everything away again if you don't come back to her but because of your love for everyone#and their love for you youre able to hold fast long enough for them to break you out#his goddess made a copy of him by warping the body and soul of a naive young man in an attempt to replace him and fill the hole in her hear#he had to literally kill the darkest version of himself that hurt everyone and he laid him to rest... catharsis if ive ever seen it#as i said. im so normal about him <3 the guy i project onto the most ever#klaus lierstark
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fellhellion · 10 months
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tbh i don’t even think miguel’s breakdown rant about miles’ existence as “anomaly” spiderman causing the death of 1610 peter is even about peter, or even quite abt miles. it’s about the idea that somehow 1610 peter could’ve shut down the collider if it weren’t for miles, even though miles’ presence didn’t actually affect peter’s death in any way. it’s about the idea that peter could’ve prevented a reality - that is, anomalies getting slingshotted throughout the multiverse - that miguel feels like he’s buckling under the emotional burden of (”And all this time, I have been the only one holding it all together!”). But even that’s not quite it, it’s about the fact that Miguel has been sitting on the resentment of feeling like he’s utterly alone in this burden, when in reality he’s not. When he created a structure designed to help share that burden between people who should understand it the most. But he won’t - can’t - ask for help bearing the emotional burden because it’s not even quite about the anomalies, it’s about Gabriella. But you deserve to suffer for it, you deserve to hurt. You dwell and grieve her and a mistake you won’t forgive youself for over and over again, all while hiding away and refusing to confide in the people who care about you how badly you’re spiraling, all while a part of you resents them for not knowing, even as they couldn’t know. 
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Shadow.
*breaks into tears*
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gazelessmenagerie · 8 months
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What type of villain are you?
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Then Let Me Be Evil
You never wanted to hurt anyone, but the world never gave you a choice. You did the best you could with what you had, but every innocent mistake you made was held against you when it counted, every crossroads led you down the wrong path no matter which way you went. No matter what you did, the odds were stacked against you. It wasn't fair, and you are sick and tired of being told what a monster you are for things out of your control. Well, fine. They want a monster? YOU'LL GIVE THEM A MONSTER!
Tagged by: @beforecreation / Dash
Tagging: You if you got your favorite blanket on your bed
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currently spinning an "it's a wonderful life" style 'ted, at his lowest and least confident, sees what would have happened if he never came to richmond' au in my brain that i'll never write
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mbat · 3 months
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wait why was no one going to tell me that nightmare rarity, something ive only heard vaguely of over the years since i keep neglecting to read the comics, wasnt corrupted by some internal pain, but instead the comic claims that nightmare moon is actually a parasitic type creature that took her over and that nightmare moon is a seperate entity from luna entirely. or at least according to the wiki
i kinda... hate that. thats not canon to me actually
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stabbylambchop · 10 months
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Hey uh
anyone here on Art Fight this year or-
Cuz I'm on there, same name and everything. I'm on Team Vampires.
You can like, add me or whatever...I mean, if you want...
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I haven't interacted with anyone on here or even really drawn in a couple months, sweet pulsating spider-christ ...
#I KNOW I KNOW I CAN JUST. DO THE THING. BUT I ALSO CAN'T. YKNOW????#I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY MIND HAS BEEN I DON'T#I'M STILL STRUGGLING WITH HEALTH Y'ALL#and sometimes instead of bouncing back and forth from feeling stable enough to do things and absolute dog shit i just-#-'welp i guess I'll just not do anything! that'll solve all of my problems! I'll get better if i don't do things and just rest and space out#-'WOW I CAN JUST BE ISOLATED AND PATHETIC IN MY ROOM ALL DAY COOL'#like...I EVEN GOT MY PAIN MEDS BACK! AND I QUALIFIED FOR A HIGHER DOSE WHICH IS A MIRACLE BC THIS IS FLORIDA!!#but like. idk.#and it's not like i don't care at all!!! I've missed you guys like fuck!!!! i just feel like I'm so far behind and everyone is on another-#-plane of existence at this point! and the longer it goes the more guilty i feel coming back bc i feel ashamed and lazy...#but i know you guys don't give a shit about at all. and I'm sorry for assuming and being so hard on myself#but also my fandoms are all over the place rn so uh. I'm so sorry LOL#but seriously anyone on art fight?? i really need to get back drawing but it's daunting...#especially since my guess 2 or 3 years were kickass by the last 2 literally no one but my wife interacted with me#one friendly fire from my partner. in two fights. after putting HOURS OF EFFORT THRU CHRONIC PAIN AND ILLNESS into all of those pieces...#i know I didn't draw a fuckton but i just got so discouraged and sad after awhile. and some never even got any attackee comments.#it all felt so damn pointless#but I'm nothing if not a survivor#as Zapp Brannigan once said; 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised'#I'm a hot fuckin mess but even if i barely get any interaction at all again i can at least say i didn't give up-#and put in effort and love like always. no half-assing with art fight unless it's just me and my wife or a friend doin stupid friendly fires#BUT ANYWAY I STILL WANNA FUCK SLASHERS. IF ANYTHING THERE'S STILL THAT. IT'S STILL ME.
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gatun-gatunesco · 1 year
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h
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twinsfawn · 2 years
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#my entire life blew up in the span of a few days and i’m in so much fucking pain#like i haven’t been this bad mentally in a long time#and i wanna cry/vent to someone but i also don’t because i know no one is going to understand/empathize in the way i need them to#and obviously no one is gonna fix my problems#i feel completely alone and i wanna bash my head into the wall#i was the closest to kms that i’ve ever been in my life the other night#and i know hospitalization will make me worse and i’m trying to just survive and hope that a med dose bump or rx change will help#everything is so stressful and painful and isolating and i know i have people who care about me but at the same time i feel like#i have no one#and i’m so tired of being abandoned by everyone i s2g i’m only dating people w bpd from now on bc no one else understands#and i wanna quit my job so fucking bad but then i won’t have health insurance#and i have very few irl friends bc it’s so hard to find people to relate to in my godforsaken area#in conclusion everything is horrible everyone you love will leave you#btw if anyone thinks this is about them: you’re not special enough to create this much mental turmoil in my life lmao the only other#person really involved in this is my ex#who is no different than any other person who has abandoned me and deliberately stomped on my heart#also capitalism is evil blah blah i would not be nearly this stressed if there wasn’t a ‘#‘cost of living’#•#one day someone will break you the way you broke me so have fun with that#i gave literally everything to you#now i have to destroy/dispose of everything you gave me bc looking at everything hurts#you didn’t even try for me#i have loved all of my past partners so much and worked so hard to understand their specific traumas and mental illnesses#and everyone else puts in like 10% effort and then gives up bc it’s ‘too hard’#you’re nothing
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tornadodyke · 1 year
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as i make my way through legend of zelda ocarina of time i am coming to terms with the fact that this is a story about children being failed by adults over and over again but i think nothing quite hammers in the fact that link is an actual literal child more than when you get down to your last health heart and his idle animation goes from him idling to him hunched over letting out these pained wheezes and it's like oh dear god this is a nine year old. i'm so so so so sorry i will get better at this game i promise
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pepprs · 2 years
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ykw that was exactly the thing i was vaguing about earlier this morning btw (sorry). since saturday night the whole topic of [pausing here to transform into a hideous beast because of the word my phone was trying to suggest i put after ‘topic of.’ like could this get any more meta and/or disturbing] anyways the whole topic of.. me and how i am or am not situated like.. r*mantically. it’s been multiple times every day since saturday night that it’s come up in posts i see in irl convos in photo memory reminders in shows my family is watching etc. ajd im not like mad at anyone/thing for posting / talking about it it’s just i feel like exploding a little bit between me myself and i that’s all
#purrs#i know i am 23 years old and i have a lot of life left ahead of me. but i think it’s just hard because im almost always the least#experienced / most sheltered person in the room. and some of that isn’t my fault bc it’s a product of 💖generational trauma💖 but some of it i#is ithink. im skittish like a horse. i had to cut off my life here when i went abroad and then covid hit and i think i got so used to things#being fucked up and to seeing fewer people that isolation became normal for me and now trying to push myself past that is terrifying and i#get so easily overwhelmed by socializing and i hate it but also that’s everyone rn i guess bc we are living in hell. but im skittish like a#horse. i have damaged friendships with people i really cared about because they told me they liked me and i couldn’t handle that and im#haunted every single day by the thought of how i mishandled things at 17-18 and probably caused certain individuals a lot of pain that they#may still be feeling and i want to apologize but that might only make it worse so i never can. and ofc like im jealous and insecure bc ive n#never even been like.. idk. the closest i ever got to being in a relationship was w one of those ppl and i ran away at the point that we rec#reciprocated and i just feel stupid and defective and i hate that if i had to do it all over again i would probably do the same thing.#ive grown a lot emotionally in the last 5 years but im still so like… weak in some ways and there’s common sense / natural compassion things#that i can sense Wojld make sense to do but i just can’t. i am not a good friend or family member right now and so how on earth could i ever#be a good partner to someone. but also uhmmmmmmmmmmmmm life is very very hard to do alone and i would like to not do it alone. and i know#there’s hope but i also like. can’t handle it. idk. it’s a mess and im just depressed about it so hopefully talking about it candidly will b#be enough to like.. eliminate the possibility of it coming up again bc it’s hard enough when im not thinking about it it’s even harder when#there are signs and reminders everywhere that i am young and inexperienced and feeling cringefail misery and doom and jealousy about it#delete later#its also fucking insane bc you grow up and realize what you’ve been missing out on bc you were a kid and it’s like how do i even get there a#and then the older adults you live with and interact with regularly rub it in your face both intentionally and unintentionally and sometimes#without malice but it’s still like… can there please not be about 15 examples of the exact thing i want that are unavoidable and inescapable#at al times by virtue of my life situation rn. in the back of my mind there is always a thread agitated by that and it sucks
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pesteringchum · 1 year
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feeling so brittney spears rn
[the loneliness is killing me. AND I~]
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bulletsfrank · 2 years
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“man why does everyone hate me ?!”
authors note: it was simple. he was the most unlikable person alive.
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euargh · 1 year
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d̵̡̟̗̱͙͖̳̩̻̂̓̈́́͑͒̈́ͅ ̴̛̯́̒̑͆̆͑͗̑̈́̏̚͘͝͠e̶̛̬̮̟͙̋̊̓̽ ̸̛̤͖̲͉̲̹̩̙̺̟̟̻͐̈́͛̎̈͒̈́̔̈́̊̊͜͠p̸̳̦̭̰̻̩͇͉̎̈́͛͐́͌͒̎͐́͋͘ ̴̩͇̺̦̥͖̀͐̒̅͌r̶̪̽̾̓́͝ͅ ̶̻͌̈́͋̾̒̽̆̒̃̿̐͂̆͠ĕ̵͈̩̙̟̤̋̍̈́̍͜ ̴̢̼̙̬̩̣͍̰͙̩̼̪̝̰̏̈͌͛̂̐̉̑͋̈̓̆̕ͅs̸̼̻̩̩̏̀̓̀̅͝ ̶̧͎͚̈́̉͗̌͐̕s̴̢̝̪̪͔̼̣̥̤͕̞̏̀́ ̶̨̝̜͈̝͇͐̋͌̈́͑͆̌̅̅͌̀̈ḯ̶̧̡̡̤̼̥͔̤̤̲̼̪̹̩̾͐̾͆̔́̒̈́̒̚ ̴̧̧̧̦̩̼̙̓̈́̈́̇̽̐̈̂͑̕͠͝o̶̞̥͕̳̔̄̏͐͂̎͑͐̾̽͆͘ ̵̨̧̩̳͋̏͋̑̍̀̂n̴̢̹̮̐́̍͂̑̆̍̈̆̚͘̕̕͠͝
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