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zero2heroyesindeed · 4 years

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So Tangled the series ends in just a few hours.

What can I say about this show, this wonderful wonderful show. I still remember my reaction to that first promo image in 2015 and being excited since this was the first Disney movie to series spin off in years and with how much the landscape of tv animation had changed in that time (much more focus on overarching stories and continuous, in-depth character arcs) it would no doubt be interesting to see. I remember everyone HATING that the hair was back but I didn’t mind as long as it made sense and was part of a good story and OH MY WAS IT PART OF A GOOD STORY.

Tangled the series is a show that somehow feels like it’s been around forever yet also feels like it’s not been around long at all. I watched Before Ever After the day it came out and same with What the Hair. A few months later I binged from Rapunzel’s enemy to Max’s enemy and fell in love with this show. The stunning art style and flowing animation, the respect and attention put into making the returning characters feel exactly as we remember them while also perfectly integrating every new character flawlessly into the world. The show completely eclipsed the original movie in every possible way in my opinion. And it only got better the further we got into this story and lore.

Instead of continuing on about how amazing this show is and how grateful I am for it’s existence as both a Disney obsessed teen and animation fan and I just wanna sing the praises of the crew, there are countless posts more we’ll put together than mine that accomplish that. So what i’m gonna do is instead throw it all the way back to the first season and go in chronological order and pin point the 10 most important moments in the series as a fandom. These are not the most emotional or impactful moments, just things that were a huge deal in the fandom.

1: Life After Happily Ever After

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The first ever real impression of the series we got and an indication of what a ride we would be in for. Bringing in Alan Menkin to continue writing the music showed just how far this show was going to go to create the most faithful continuation as possible. It was also the introduction to our precious Cass and showed Eugene getting ready for the first of many proposals we would see throughout the series.

2: Eugene and Rapunzel talk after the coronation disaster

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Who could ever forget when Rapunzel and Eugene officially became the most developed and healthy Disney couple. This was basically the moment most people fell in love with the series and it’s not hard to see why. Tangled the Series wasn’t just cute Princess hijinks with some action thrown in, it took it’s characters and their relationships seriously in a way now Disney show had ever done up to that point and could be mature. Rapunzel asking Eugene to be patient with her to this day still gives me chills and showed the direction this show was taking Rapunzel’s character and we were all along for the ride.

3: Rapunzel dreams of Gothel

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OOH BOY this moment. While the fandom was still relatively small by this point this moment sent everyone into an absolute frenzy. While Before Ever After featured mentions of the Sun Flower and the King’s ptsd of losing Rapunzel, this was when the flood gates opened for all the angst and tears. Rapunzel’s trauma of the tower and Gothel’s treatment of her were not gonna be glossed over, they would be explored in excruciating detail which to this day is still one of the greatest elements of the series. Just because Gothel is gone doesn’t mean the 18 years of abuse she put Rapunzel through magically heals (pun intended).

4: Varian’s introduction

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I don’t even need to say anything for this one. It’s Varian. (gonna be honest. It is 3am in my corner of the globe and I am struggling to find the energy to keep writing this much, so we’re just gonna rush through the rest of these).

5: Big Brothers of Corona/ aka Eugene is a perfect human being

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This was the episode that cemented Eugene as one of my favourite Disney characters of all time. I can not count how many times I have rewatched the ending to this one alone. But it was also a fantastic episode for developing Lance’s character and integrating him as part of the shows main cast moving forward despite this only being his second appearance. Also I forgot how small Red and Angry (or the girls formally known as Red and Angry) were.

6: You promised!

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This is still my favourite callback to the movie the show ever did. To me Rapunzel saying she never breaks a promise in the original movie feels out of place. Like Rapunzel keeping her promises was going to be a huge part of the story early in development and that line is just a reminant of that draft that should’ve really been taken out. But I don’t care because it gave us this beautiful moment. Also this moment cemented Nigel as my most hated character on the show.

7: “Difficult decisions are what make us who we are”

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I can’t with this scene and just how brilliant this episode was at dealing with the fall out of Queen For a Day and how crucial it was to Rapunzel’s character development in retrospective. Everything she has done in season 3 and every action she has taken can be tied back directly to what she learned in this moment. If that ain’t good story telling then I don’t know what is.

8: The Tower Falls

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I’m just gonna say it. This is my favourite scene from the series. Everything in this moment is perfection. The music, the staging, the visuals, the emotion. It all builds to an absolutely devastating climax as Rapunzel watches her childhood home crumble to the ground leaving behind one pieces of the walls she used to paint on. If wanna frame the moment Rapunzel starts tearing up as the tower collapses and display it on my mantle because I love it so much.

9: Rapunzel reaches her limit

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I couldn’t finish this episode for hours after seeing this first scene. Rapunzel finally took a stand against her father and I was just making inaudible gasps throughout my first time watching it. Then there’s that bombshell at the end where Raps compares her father’s actions to that of Gothel’s that never fails to shake me to my very core no matter how many times I rewatch it.

10: Ready As I’ll Ever Be

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What? We’re you expecting the biggest song this show was turned out to not make the list? I mean it was the first time Tangled the series was able to get the attention of those outside the fan base and hooked so many people into checking the show out. This was the moment Tangled the series just left the movie in the dust and from there it just kept pushing further and further with each season.

Not really sure how I should end this. I am very emotional and very tired but I refuse to go to sleep. I am staying up until this finale drops because I am not going to go to sleep knowing i’ll wake up in a world where Tangled the Series is over. This show is a once in a lifetime experience that is in my top 5 television shows of all time. It might not have had the legacy of Phineas and Ferb or the popularity of Gravity Falls but it had so much love, energy and passion behind it and you can tell everyone making this show loved it just as much as we did. I’ll probably end up doing lists like this for season 2 and 3 when I get around to binging the entire Tangled franchise (which will probably be around Summer).

Thank you to the indescribably talented crew of writers, animators, designers, and directors (and I am so sorry if I missed any other positions out but you are all so amazing). Thank you Mandy and Zach for giving your voices to Rapunzel and Eugene and letting us explore their life after Happily Ever After and letting their journey continue. Thank you Eden, Jeremy and James for bringing life to Cass, Varian and Lance who expanded the world of Tangled and felt like perfect additions to the main cast. Thank you Alan Menkin and Glen Slater for continuing to write phenomenal music and putting in your all for something you clearly didn’t even need to do in the first place. Every piece of music for this show has left me breathless (and not just from belting Waiting in the Wings to myself). This 3 year Journey has been simply sensational and I can’t wait to see how it all ends.

Next stop anywhere!

#rapunzels tangled adventure #tangled the series #tangled before ever after #rta #tts #tts fandom #rapunzel #eugene fitzherbert #rta cassandra #tts cassandra #lance strongbow #tangled pascal #tangled maximus #tangled varian #disney channel #disney television animation #appreciation

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arcadialedger · 4 years

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Merlin: BBC’S Epic Tragedy

WARNING: EXTREME EMOTIONS LIE BELOW PROCEED WITH CAUTION

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Oh, Merlin. How I love you. Where do I even begin to describe just how deeply this show impacted me-- how it reached into my heart and made me feel as though only the great epics can.

One day in the summer of 2016, I was looking for something to do. I was tired of only ever rewatching Doctor Who, and I wanted to try a new show. MY best friend, @shadowqueendiangelo, had recommended BBC’s Merlin, so I decided to turn it on.

Little did I know the emotional experience I would go through over the next five days as I marathoned the shows five seasons. Little did I know what this story would come to mean to me as a melancholic catharsis.

So why did I react so strongly to Merlin emotionally? Well, I’m an INFJ, and I have always said that Merlin is THE show of the INFJ-- both the character himself and the feel of the show in its entirety. It’s deep, contemplative, introspective. IT, UNLIKE MOST FANTASY TELEVISION-- IS CENTERED ON EMOTION.

But most importantly? The story is a giant tragedy-- to almost Shakespearean levels. One could even argue that, with five seasons, the structure of the show was inspired by Shakespearean tragedies.

So what makes Merlin a tragedy?

Even before he was bound to fate, Merlin is the story of a boy who was forced to hide who he was from everyone around him-- even his loved ones. He grew up without a father, his mother viewed his powers as a danger to be hidden and concealed.

*Merlin totally needs to talk to Elsa but that’s a discussion for another day

The point is, from the moment he was born-- MERLIN WAS TRAINED AND MENTALLY PERSUADED TO BE AFRAID OF WHO HE WAS. Merlin’s life before he leaves Ealdor is a tragedy in itself. He is a boy who is forced to live his life as a life against his will, and due to things out of his control. THIS ITSELF IS ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM ASHAMED OF HOW HE WAS BORN, AND EMOTIONALLY DRAIN HIM. This facade has overtaken his entire life.

Then he comes to Camelot, and the real tragedy of his life begins.

From the moment he steps foot in Camelot’s walls, Merlin is not only in constant fear of his safety, forced to work for a king who he knows would persecute him if he knew the truth of his identity, and continuously forced to lie to all of those around him-- ALL CONTROL AND AGENCY OVER HIS OWN LIFE IS IMMEDIATELY TAKEN OUT OF HIS HANDS BECAUSE HE IS BOUND TO FATE.

Further, Merlin goes on the form the strongest bonds he has ever made in his life. He meets Arthur, his other half, the other side to his same coin.

And for years he has to live with the fact that the foundation of that friendship is built on a lie.

That he must always hide who he truly is from his best friend who he loves.

For years he has to live with the fact that if his greatest friend knew the truth about him, he would have him killed.

Close as they are, this will always get in the way of their friendship, until Merlin tells Arthur the truth in 5x13-- shaking, sobbing, and terrified of what his friend will think of the true him.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE, IT’S SO HARD TO HIDE YOUR FULL SELF FROM THEM. AND MERLIN IS FORCED TO DO THIS DUE TO A GENERATIONAL PREJUDICE WHICH HE KNOWS, DEEP DOWN, THAT ARTHUR IS GOOD ENOUGH TO SEE THROUGH.

The thread of that hope is what keeps Merlin going.

Being forced to lie to, manipulate, and hide your true identity from a loved one is enough of an emotional burden as it is. However, Merlin is not only just forced to live this sad reality. He is forced to do it WHILE SERVING A KING WHO WOULD HAVE HIM KILLED.

Yet, despite knowing that Uther would have him executed, Merlin finds a place in his heart for Uther. Why? Because Uther means so much to Arthur. And that, alone, is enough for Merlin to not only find faith in the king, but the strength to emotionally support Arthur when he loses him, when they fight after learning the truth of Arthur’s birth, etc. That’s incredible.

Merlin is carrying such a heavy emotional burden already, yet he gladly takes on the weight of all of those he cares about. Because, like the INFJ he is, Merlin will always look our for others while neglecting to take care of himself. Thank goodness for Gaius for providing some support when it comes to his-- not that Gaius’s own insisting on keeping Merlin’s magic a secret and following his destiny doesn’t take its own emotional toll.

The first moment of the show that I cried, and perhaps my personal favorite episode of the show, is season 2′s The Last Dragonlord. Here, we not only start to see the full depth of Merlin and Arthur’s relationship, as well as Merlin’s undying loyalty to Arthur, but WE WATCH MERLIN BRIEFLY MEET THE FATHER HE ALWAYS LONGED TO KNOW, ONLY TO LOSE HIM MOMENTS AFTER.

To have that thread of hope-- that promise-- snatched out from underneath you-- is nothing short of devastating. Merlin never got the chance to know the man who not only loved his mother but gave him the magic which has for so long ruled over his life.

Make no mistake, Balinor gave Merlin is a sense of being, an identity. For once, Merlin wasn’t alone. He had a source, a place, a home. He had someone who could know his true and full self and was also like him.

Then he is forced to watch his father-- that promise, that hope, that newfound sense of identity and reassurance-- die before him, having sacrificed himself to save his life. And even worse-- MERLIN IS NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO GRIEVE, BECAUSE ARTHUR CANNOT KNOW BALINOR WAS HIS FATHER.

The sense of loneliness at this moment is astounding. Merlin is left alone, forced to internalize overwhelming grief and sorrow. He has to hide the suffering of one of the greatest losses a person can endure.

Yet Merlin continues on-- keeping faith in a king and a kingdom which despises the truth of who he is. He continues on FEELING WORTHLESS AND NOT BEING RECOGNIZED FOR ALL OF THE GOOD THAT HE DOES BECAUSE NOBODY CAN KNOW THE TRUTH.

The fact Merlin still does so much, despite getting no reward for what he does outside of Gaius, is astounding. It’s part of the human condition to need proper acknowledgment of the things we do. It’s against our nature to give and give and give, and get nothing in return.

Yet, that is exactly what Merlin does. He gives and gives everything for Arthur, for his destiny, and expects nothing in return. Only his own moral soundness.

It’s because Merlin is so selfless, he does nothing for himself. He works for Arthur. But more importantly, everything he does is for the purpose of his destiny. As stated before, MERLIN HAS LITTLE TO NO COUNTENANCE OVER HIS OWN LIFE. His purpose, and the actions he must take, have been predetermined, as they are a remarkably heavy burden to carry.

One of the saddest little moments in the show is when Arthur states “You can’t hide anything from me, Merlin, and Merlin responds with four simple words

Merlin is so sad in this moment-- his smile and ton so bittersweet-- because his friend has such faith in him. And Merlin wants to be better-- he wants to be able to live up to Arthur’s word and tell him the truth like they both deserve. But due to preconceived circumstances he just can’t. All of Merlin’s pain, loneliness, and suffering are written by history and prejudices from before he was born, and that he is taking the weight of every day.

Merlin suffers from emotional trauma because he is forced to lie to his loved ones-- make no mistake. He beats himself up due to something out of his control.

And time and time again? Merlin loses the few people who knew the truth about him. That he didn’t have to lie to.

Balinor.

Lancelot.

Freya.

The only people Merlin doesn’t have to be ashamed in front of, with whom he is not in a constant moral crisis of identity and honesty, ARE TAKEN FROM HIM BY THE CRUEL HANDS OF FATE. Repeatedly, Merlin’s destiny seems determined for him to be alone outside of Gaius.

Now, outside of the tragedy of Merlin’s entire existence and emotional turmoil, we move to the tragedy of Arthur’s death.

Merlin is a servant to both fate and Arthur. He would give anything-- anything-- for Arthur Pendragon. And, in season 5, we see Merlin TRY AND FAIL TO WORK AGAINST FATE AND SAVE HIS FRIENDS LIFE. Yet, destiny seems determined for Merlin to lose the one thing he still truly cares about, the person he loves most and who has driven his purpose most of his life.

The friend he was done everything he can to save, and he can’t even let him know. He can’t tell him how much he cares.

The idea of this working against fate first arrives in season3, in one of my favorite episodes-- The Crystal Cave. Here’s we see the entire overarching concepts and themes of destiny in the show, as well as the final season and descent to Arthur’s death-- presented and condensed into an episode-long concept, in which Merlin tries to stop Morgana from killing Uther-- FOR ARTHUR’S SAKE.

Merlin could have easily let Morgana kill Uther, and life would have been so much easier for him. MY God, life would have been so much easier. Arthur would be king, as Merlin has always wanted, and Merlin.

Yet Merlin is once again, selfless, and doesn’t allow either Uther or Morgana to die BECAUSE HE CANNOT STAND THE SIGHT OF ARTHUR’S GRIEF. ONCE AGAIN, EVERYTHING HE DOES IS FOR ARTHUR’S BENEFIT AND NOT HIS OWN.

We see Merlin, one last desperate time, try to get Arthur to see the good in magic with his decision to heal Uther in The Wicked Day. This is thwarted, however, by Morgana, and Arthur’s hatred of magic is solidified.

Then we hit season 5, which is just a swan song and spiral of depression, as Merlin is just so, so desperate to save his friend.

This entire season is, indeed, a swan song to Arthur’s death, but more importantly, a testament to the power of fate, as everything Merlin does ONLY LEADS CLOSER TO ARTHUR’S DEATH.

His choice to not tell Morgana about his magic in season 2, which might have saved her from evil and therefore spared Arthur

His choice to save Morgana, which could have stopped his death in battle had he let her die in season 3.

His choice to not trust Mordred, which Merlin thought was protecting Arthur, but only assured Mordred’s turning and Arthur’s death at the tip of his blade.

As in all tragedies, all roads lead to one inevitable fate, which Merlin is so desperate to stop. The destiny in stone, however, cannot be rewritten. Every decision Merlin makes ultimately leads them closer to the inevitable fate of Arthur’s death. And thus, Merlin is trapped into a corner of loss.

And thus, after his best friend-- the man he loves most-- is finally able to know who he truly is, Merlin loses him too. And the tragedy of Merlin’s life is complete. Fate asked him to endure an impossible burden and gave him little in return.

So why do I love Merlin? It’s poetic, emotional, and yes, beautifully tragic. It delves deep into the heart, mind, morality, and relationships. It warns against the overbearing power of fate.

And I guess I have always been one for the melancholy, dark, and sad. In that regard, I’m a bit of a masochist. I love to linger in the deepest, darkest emotions I can find.

Depth, nuance, and pure, unfiltered sadness. That is what makes Merlin an epic tragedy. That is why my heart feels heavy and bursts with an ocean of bittersweet love and nostalgia whenever I think about it.

That is what makes Merlin special.

#merlin #bbc merlin #bbc #analysis #character analysis #show analysis #colin morgan #tragedy #sad #discourse #fandom #fandom discourse #fandom culture #fandom talk #merlin fandom

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guylty · 4 years

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My annual social media Lent is coming up. From Ash Wednesday I will abstain from Twitter for the next 6 and a half weeks (until Easter Sunday), allowing me to recalibrate a little and concentrate on other things. Such as my blog – or RAnet. That means I need blog fodder. Almost four weeks have passed since The Stranger launched on Netflix. Enough time to assume that most fans and readers have watched the show and will not be spoiled by the discussion of the show. Moreover, some more in-depth discussions have already started in the comments. Last weekend, for instance, we got into the intracacies of the “bar scene” in episode 4 of TS, talking about the casting, costuming and directing of that particular scene and how we, as women of a particular age reacted to that scene.

However, it would probably make more sense to start at the beginning. So anyone who’d like to discuss TS with me, you are welcome to write your observations, reactions and opinions in the comments. I know I am kind of launching into this without announcement. But by doing this episode by episode, I hope you can follow along and catch up with individual episode if need be. I’ll also try and summarise every episode at the beginning of each review post so we know what we are talking about. Hm, I may need to rewatch the show for that. The hardship!!! However, the discussion will probably focus on the plot… eh… Adam. Anyhow, I hope you’ll join me and share your thoughts either here – or your own blog, if you are blogging, too.

The Stranger – Episode 1 Recap

Prior to the trailer, TS starts with teenagers at a bonfire party, culminating in a naked boy escaping through the dark forest. The plot then begins with the Price boys driving in the car to the football club where younger son Ryan is trying out for the A team. While at the club, daddy Adam briefly speaks with his wife Corinne on the phone. She is away at a teachers’ conference while Adam looks after their sons. In the clubhouse, Adam is approached by “a stranger” who reveals a devastating secret to him: His wife faked her pregnancy a couple of years ago. He is shocked and disturbed.

Once back home after football training, Adam can’t resist checking the details the stranger passed on to him, and sure enough, his suspicions are confirmed – there is a credit card payment for a fishy website called Novelty Funsy, and the ultrasound scan of the miscarried baby does not quite match the ones of his two sons. Meanwhile, Adam’s elder son Thomas heads out to the bonfire party with his friends.

The next morning, police woman Johanna investigates a bizarre crime scene of a decapitated alpaca in the city centre. With her DS, she drives to a nearby alpaca farm to confirm where the animal came from. On their return trip their attention is attracted by some pieces of clothing in the forest. They follow the trail of clothes and find a naked body. The young man is still alive.

Adam meanwhile looks after his day job – he is the legal advisor to an obstinate tenant who refuses to move out of a house that has been earmarked for demolition. Upon his return, Corinne arrives back from her conference and Adam receives confirmation that the mysterious credit card payments are for a website that provides fake pregnancy products. He immediately confronts Corinne. She does neither deny nor explain why or what she did, only hinting that there is more to it than he thinks. The Prices spend the night in separate bedrooms.

The next morning Adam observes Corinne taking a phone call outside the house. She later suggests to Adam that they talk later that day after a school awards ceremony where she will explain all. However, Corinne never shows to the event. Adam receives a text message asking for some time apart.

The episode ends with Thomas revealing the decapitated alpaca head in his cupboard.

Episode 1 – Discuss

So, first of all – I have watched the first episode about three and a half times. Twice on my own, once with hubster, and finally today a quick run-through for the sake of the recap where I fast forwarded through a lot of scenes, focussing on Adam mostly. I couldn’t help it… My first response to the show at the very first viewing was – WOW! I remember that I was fully engaged during every minute of it – even the scenes and story lines that Richard did not feature in. Granted, I was most interested with the “grown-up” arcs, not least because anything involving drugs and other goings-on with teenagers makes *this* mama really worried. But having said that, I think the first episode was very effective in establishing the storylines and the characters. Hence the show spends most time following Adam (Richard Armitage) – as a father, as a lawyer and as a husband. Then there are the two police officers who also are presented as round characters – the middle-aged senior officer Johanna (Siobhan Finneran) approaching retirement who has just decided to split from her husband, and her much younger partner, a gay black man. Adam’s son Thomas also gets a good bit of screen time with his friends, making him more than just secondary. Other secondary characters include first and foremost Dervla Kirwan as Corinne, Stephen Rea as obstinate tenant Martin, and Jennifer Saunders as Johanna’s BFF Heidi.

So, the first watch was highly exciting and addictive, so much so that I basically binged the whole show. On second and subsequent views, I found the episode not quite as fast and exciting anymore – only natural, as a lot of time was actually spent setting up the characters and the various story lines: Johanna waking up in bed to her snoring husband; Johanna meeting Heidi in her café; observing the teenagers at their bonfire party; visiting Dante in hospital…

RA is the natural focal point from the get-go. Not only for fangirls, I might add. The show is really good at setting him up as the perfect family man who obviously has great rapport with his sons, both the “difficult” almost grown-up older son, but also the younger lad who needs a different kind of care than a young adult. I found the casting really great, with Thomas definitely matching the tall, dark, handsome vibes of TV-dad Richard, and younger boy Ryan more a mirror of his blond, curly-haired TV-mum. They all have great chemistry together, and found Misha Handley (Ryan) very natural and convincing. Jacob Dudman as Thomas was also great.

… really aged well… hehe

RA really shines in the confrontation scenes, both with the stranger and with his wife, when he has to convey both suppressed anger and outright fury at having been deceived. Both his major scenes with Corinne are very convincing, and I appreciated the decision to make Adam extremely angry, on the verge of volatile, when Corinne refuses to explain her actions. Adam’s anger is immediate, raw and confused and Armitage really draws the viewer on his side with his emotional outburst. So much so that I basically missed Dervla Kirwan’s nuanced acting in that scene. On second and subsequent viewings, once you know how the show ends and why she doesn’t want to talk immediately, you start to notice the little things: her refusal to talk has more to do with fear than with anger or denial. She is afraid of actually addressing the fact that the reason for her faked pregnancy will also bring another secret out in the open, and the subsequent discussion (which she had successfully avoided by faking the pregnancy in the first place) will now have to take place. What might have looked as callous or dismissive at first viewing, conveys much more detail the second time round: there is a sadness to Corinne that Kirwan expresses very subtly – in a slight pause, or the tiniest glance into the mid-distance. The same applies to their second and much calmer confrontation the next morning. What might have looked almost callous on first viewing, gains much more weight when you watch it with prior knowledge of the plot. When Adam says he has lost trust in her, Corinne replies “it hurts, doesn’t it?“. The question tag really stood out to me on first viewing. It confused me. Why is she phrasing it like that? It of course became clear in episode 4, but again, Kirwan really gave it a spin by loading it with subtle sadness that doesn’t only confuse the viewer but also Adam. Armitage here kept his response at just the right level of confusion without giving away how much Adam really recognises or understands what she was hinting at. RA reacts with great detail expressions. No words are needed. And in hindsight you can see how he begins to wonder whether she knows about his affair. Loved it.

Let’s talk a bit about Armitage’s look in this show. Such a spectacle!

Yes, I like details like that. The jury is still out on whether this is a prescription that Armitage wrote into the script himself 😂, or whether we just had a costume department that is on the ball. Yes, it’s time for the presbyopic lenses. Happens to most of us at around middle age. 🤓 I found it a lovely detail that makes Adam more relatable. Because – a dad bod he has not.

Even if he claims he does. I find this a rather attractive package for a middle aged family man. Also:

Bonus WRP. Needs no further elaboration

But to get back to the look and style – I enjoyed the casual style of Adam. Once again, it felt right – nothing too fancy, with windbreaker, jeans and shirts, and even a tracksuit at home, the perfect attire for a father of two (pre-) teen sons. I was surprised how good RA looked in other colours than just black and blue. The red polo shirt was very nice on him.

I can’t say I am as convinced of the costumes provided for Corinne. In fact, I think there were some rather sledge-hammer style decisions going on there, putting the wife and mother into rather dowdy, pale pink mom trousers and giving her a hole-pattern, fluffy knit jumper. Then there was that turquoise dress that went slightly longer than her knees – apparently the work wear for female teachers in English private schools, judging by an equally frumpy outfit for Corinne’s colleague and friend Vicky? (This observation I will come back to in a later post once we get to episode 4.) It just kind of made me think that Corinne was made to look older and less casual than her husband who even attends to his client in jeans and shirt…

Police officer Johanna Griffin OTOH looked *real* and great. (I kept double-taking because O’Brien’s severe look kept coming back to me.) And I loved Heidi’s funky style – very much the slightly crazy café-owner with a café as stylish as herself… And can we also mention the Price’s residence here? There were only quick first glimpses of their house – but oh, that stylist made it a gorgeous family home. The garden was beautiful but I can take it or leave it. Too much work – I don’t like to get my fingers dirty. But the dining area with the floor-to-ceiling windows and the sleek white kitchen? Big win, especially because it doesn’t look like a showroom but has photos on the fridge and a mess on the counters.

So episode 1 gets a big thumbs up from me – for introducing us to almost all the characters (some held back for more surprise later on) and establishing the plot. Yes, there is a lot going on here, which I haven’t even all mentioned in the recap: the stranger dropping her first bomb, the Price family life, the secret in Corinne’s past, the tenant who refuses to move out of his home, the colleague who has trouble with her pre-teen daughter, the teenagers who are partying under the influence of drugs, the mystery of the boy who was hunted through the forest, the curious story of the decapitated alpaca, an almost-comic police duo, a police officer who is splitting up with her hubby, her friend, the funky café owner, the gregarious neighbour, the busybody football trainer… Too much? I’d say a lot of it is deliberate overload to distract us, yet give us some extra info about the characters, their work, their life and their environment.

The strategy definitely works when you watch the show for the first time. You are busy dealing with Richard Armitage’s overwhelming handsomeness taking it all in. The questions only really pop up when you watch again. Such as: When stoned Mike takes the alpaca for a walk into the city centre, why is there no CCTV footage? I mean, nowadays there is hardly *any* urban area that does *not* have CCTV on shops and banks or traffic spots. How come no one saw him decapitating the alpaca, in a city centre? And how did he manage to decapitate it anyway`- it’s hardly a one-chop job?Likewise and with hindsight we know now that Corinne’s text message was not sent by her at all: But how did the sender actually know the password to Corinne’s phone to send that message? I mean, don’t all people lock their phone with a password these days? Possibly nit-picking questions, but that’s the fun of it, isn’t it? You can enjoy a show immensely – and still want to pick a few holes into the plot just to see whether you are cleverer than the writer 😉.

There is probably so much more to discuss, but for the sake of getting the discussion started, here is the post. What is your take on the first episode of TS? Any agreements with me, or disagree? Other points of interest? Let me know in the comments!

Let’s Talk About… #TheStranger – Episode 1 My annual social media Lent is coming up. From Ash Wednesday I will abstain from Twitter for the next 6 and a half weeks (until Easter Sunday), allowing me to recalibrate a little and concentrate on other things.

#Adam Price #Richard Armitage #The Stranger

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thelearningcat · 5 years

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Game of Thrones Thoughts Part 2: The Red Priestess and Sansa

In Part 1, I gushed a little over how much I enjoyed rewatching this series as Fiancat and I binge-watched some of it to prepare for the new season. I then requested fanfiction (with some direction on what I was and was not looking for).

Here, I want to talk about the first four seasons briefly, but mostly the Red Priestess and Sansa. There will be spoilers! First, two quick notes:

I am focusing on the first four seasons, because I have feelings about the fifth season, and we are only starting on season 6 (rewatching), which as I mentioned in the last post, is the season I have deemed “The Season in which Nothing Good Happens to Any Good Character and Everything Makes Me Sad.” To me, the writing across the first four seasons was extremely consistent, which is unsurprising considering those are the ones largely based on the books. The fifth season (at least according to my quick google search) is the first one to departure from the fiction.

That said, I should admit I’ve never read the book. I’ve had people tell me some of what is different from the books and show, but I’ve also had people who know what I like to read tell me that the writing style might not be one that interests me. I might try them out one day, but my motivation is low while the series is unfinished and may never be finished.

With all that said, my thoughts! (which are mine and mine alone. You can disagree, and I welcome arguments against the critiques I provide for the story. But if you’re a dick about it, I’m blocking you.)

Stannis: For me, going back for the first time to rewatch the first season was incredibly satisfying. I saw all the characters in a new light. I could broadly see how each character got to where they eventually go, how they change and grow or regress. I was incredibly satisfied with the introduction of every character (note #2 will briefly comment on Brienne, because she was the one other character I originally was unsatisfied with). There are two exceptions: Stannis and the Red Woman (Melisandre). I felt like they threw us into the frey without really telling us who Stannis used to be. I think they tried to hint at it with everyone’s dismissal and dislike of him and the inclusion of Davos Seaworth as someone who liked him. However, I ultimately felt that even a single scene or two of pre-Red Woman would have given me more reason to potentially see Stannis as a deeply flawed but still sympathetic character. However, instead I feel thrown right in the middle of him becoming radically religious and listening to a random woman without really giving us reason to believe he’d fall into that. I’m not given good reason for why Davos Seaworth follows him so loyally.

The Red Woman (Melisandre): Going right along with that, it is incredibly confusing in the early seasons whether Melisandre believes what she says or she is manipulating Stannis for some malicious purpose. The buildup to the sixth season reveal of her doubt feels really abrupt. I think this in apart was on purpose, to leave the viewer confused about where she stood, but as someone watching back through, there’s none of that enjoyment of seeing the pieces fall together like many of the other characters. I can see the slow growth of Arya and Sansa into stronger, albeit more cutthroat people. Melisandre just is this villianious appearing woman who we don’t really get much depth into who she is behind the front she puts up. Which just makes me feel cheated from a character who could have had a lot of complexity from the start.

Brienne of Tarth: Okay, so I feel I should give a quick note to the fact I actually was really annoyed when they introduced Brienne. We just suddenly see her supporting Renly, with no idea why really. We eventually, I believe in the 5th season, find out where her loyalty to Renly came from, but it took way too long to get there. I love Brienne’s character. I think she’s a wonderful lawful good character in a show where she’s really the only one like that. She is straight forward loyal, not strategic or manipulative like almost every other character. She’s a breath of fresh air. However, while I’m satisfied with the backstory we are given eventually, I think it takes too long getting there for how long she’s on the screen.

Arya Stark: The subtlety of the massive amount of lessons she was given in her travels that would produce an excellent assassin, I love it. They are all very small moments for the most part. The archer in the Band of Brotherhood telling her a better way to shoot arrows. The Hound telling her where the heart is. Sure, the dancing instructor and the Faceless Man taking away her eyes are loud and in your face moments where she learns to fight better. However, there’s so many more meaningful moments than that. I will always love her character. I don’t know how she’ll survive the ending, because I can’t imagine a life after she finishes her list. I think she has to answer to the Many Faced God in the end and that devastates me. I want her to be captain of the [Queen’s] guard. I want her to be the Lady of Winterfell, except she constantly tells people she’s not a lady into her old age. I want her to have a happy ending, because she’s had a hard life for so many years.

Sansa Stark: This will be the last person I focus on for this post, but I have to pay her some due appreciation. Let me start this by saying I hated Sansa when I originally watched the series. I always appreciated doers in fiction, probably because I’m not one myself, so I found Sansa’s “just survive” attitude to be frustrating and annoying. However, rewatching this, not only do I have to praise the writers for their slow burn growth in Sansa learning, but I have to reprimand myself for not seeing all the pieces align. Like Arya, maybe more so, Sansa has a ton of moments where people are teaching her things without a lot of attention being paid to it. The words imparted by Cersei and the Tyrells all play an important role into the person Sansa eventually grows into. You can see her taking all these things people said and applying them, maybe not right away but slowly over times. Moreover, despite my initial reaction, Sansa is never simply surviving. In many ways, she’s constantly testing the boundaries while she is still in King’s Landing. She makes underhanded comments while she deals with the very active trauma of what Joffrey put her through. Once she leaves King’s Landing we see that she takes what she has learned to be active in her escape from bad situations. Sansa’s character growth is so wonderfully done. For the record, I believe that for GOT to make a full arch, Sansa has to end up on the Iron Throne. Jon doesn’t want it, which may be perceived as good, but I’m skeptical about it and I think it’s been set up in a really obvious way that means it’s not going to happen. Dany is a great conqueror but we’ve seen she makes questionable decisions when leading. Cersei, we already know from her prophecy, has got to die. So that just leaves Sansa. Sansa who wanted to be queen when the story started. Sansa who has learned the game of allies and enemies. Sansa who has been taught by Queens how to rule and men how dangerous men are. Just imagine Sansa as queen with Arya as her King’s Guard and Tyrion, who gave her reason to trust him, as her hand. It’d be awesome.

Lastly, I want to know more about the origins of the Doom and White Walkers and all these magical things. There’s a lot of moving pieces in these early seasons that feel like they are brought in but aren’t established if they are important or not. There are ways, narratively, to bring in magic and disaster while deemphasizing its importance to the overall narrative, but I actually feel right now that something like the Doom should have narrative significance, but they are probably going to ignore it and make it just a historical background building. I just want to understand how all this magic ties together. Why are people skeptical of magic in a world that seems to have a pretty solid background in fantasy?

#thelearningcat got #thelearningcat watches tv #got #game of thrones #spoilers #game of thrones spoilers #got spoilers #sansa stark #arya stark #stannis baratheon #red woman #melisandre #brienne #ramblings #the doom #white walkers #magical elements

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ficdirectory · 7 years

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The Fosters: Our Thoughts on Episode 4x14 “Doors and Windows”

Another twin recap by @tarajean621 and me. Look for her comments in italics below:

Especially Jude, Who’s Taking Really Long Showers These Days if You Know What I Mean: Brandon! Ew!

You Used to Fight Us So Much About Taking a Bath and Now Look At Ya: Hahaha! Stef! Now I can’t stop picturing little Brandon.

I Don’t Want to Go to School. I Don’t Want to Go to Therapy/You Don’t Want to Do Anything. Enough With the Melodrama. Let’s Go: Wow, Stef. Dismissive much? Mariana’s obviously having a tough time. While I get that school is not optional, she needs to feel heard.

The Last Thing I Need is More Stress: Lena, if you, Stef, Brandon, Callie and Mariana are all upstairs and Jude left, who is downstairs with Jesus? Also, I’m more than a little uncomfortable at the fact that this episode seems like it is going to be all about everyone else’s stress (which is, apparently, Jesus) :(

Don’t They Have College Courses in Prison/I Have an Idea! Why Don’t You Take the SATs For Me!/Wow. Juvie’s Hardened You: OMG Brandon and Callie! Hahahaha!

I Just Wanted to Be Upstairs with Everyone: The isolation is real, guys. We see physical isolation in that the entire family is upstairs, leaving Jesus alone downstairs. Normally? No big deal. (And probably why no one thought twice about it.) However, Jesus realizes upon attempting to climb the stairs that he is literally cut off from his family. (Which becomes even more poignant later in the episode, when Mariana verbalizes a memory from early childhood wherein the twins were abandoned in their crib for a day or more.)

With something like a brain injury, it is impossible to come to terms with all of the ways it will impact you. In Jesus’s mind, he is perfectly capable of climbing the stairs. He has been able to do so most of his life. So, being forced to confront his physical limitations here is crushing and frightening for him.

Also, the show has made sure that we do not forget about PERSONALITY CHANGES that can occur post-TBI. AGGRESSION. The truth is that emotions in general are closer to the surface. So, we see Jesus cry here. And the family rallies around him.

Note: In real life, a subsequent head injury is a very real concern. Technically, Jesus should be wearing the helmet we see later all the time, now that he is ambulatory (but unsteady). If this were real, the first question asked would be, “Did you hit your head?” And even if the answer was no, a trip to the hospital would not be out of the question.

Jesus Fell Down the Stairs This Morning. Well, Up, Technically. I Think He Really Wants to Get Back In His Bedroom and Out of That Dining Room. It Gets Pretty Lonely Down There: How devastating, especially knowing what’s coming up as far as the reveal about the twins’ past. Mariana totally gets how loneliness could drive Jesus’s actions here. Her adding, “It gets pretty lonely down there,” shows that Jesus’s feelings are reasonable and that they make complete sense to her. It’s not like, “Oh, Jesus was ridiculous and tried to climb stairs by himself when he shouldn’t have.” These two don’t handle being alone well, which, given their early history, makes complete sense :(

This is About You. You’ll See: Mariana’s pretending hard that everything’s okay while she’s talking to Emma. Both these girls have masks in place so hard. Emma’s obviously nervous saying she’s not pregnant, which makes me worry that she is. And Mariana’s just using to her Smart Voice hardcore to get through the day.

I Hate You...Shut Up: Imagine walking into room, and not realizing that it is actually a live rock show. The intensity of the music through the amps, so loud you can feel it. The crowd of people. Flashing lights. Colors. Smells. Screams. Applause.

Now, imagine that you’re expected to take a final exam while you’re there.

Seems pretty ludicrous, right?

But this is what it is like after a brain injury. The ability you once had to seamlessly filter information is compromised. So, while neurotypicals like Lena and the therapist are able to carry on conversation and focus on what needs to be done, someone like Jesus struggles.

The activity in the room, extraneous conversations and other noise, the bright colors, fluorescent lights all assault Jesus’s senses simultaneously before PT or cognitive therapy even begins.

Now, lets add another layer. Jesus is sitting on an exercise ball trying to balance while contending with his right-sided tremor. (During a live rock show.)

He is simultaneously using free weights - again, while contending with the tremor. (During a live rock show.)

Also, Jesus has to pick out the therapist’s voice from the sea of other noise. Listen to him. Process what he is saying. And follow his instructions. While sitting on the exercise ball and using the free weights. (During a live rock show.)

Then, the therapist introduces flashcards. :/

Aphasia can also affect a person’s ability to identify letters. And reading is also an act of filtering, believe it or not.

1. Jesus may or may not recognize all of the letters in the word boat. (I had trouble identifying/saying letters that had similar counterparts, like b, d, g, p, q, m, n, u and w as well as those that I did not use frequently such as x, y and z.)

2. He may experience all of the letters in the word rushing at him simultaneously. (Because of an inability to filter.) This is understandably overwhelming, and it can impact Jesus’s ability to pause and attempt to read the word.

3. Most importantly, Jesus realizes that he should know this stuff. Not all that long ago, he would have been able to accomplish everything asked of him easily. He is not unaware of that fact. So, he is understandably embarrassed and crushed.

And the live rock show plays on.

Again, we see that the stress of therapy has limited his speech:

I hate you could mean This is hard / I hate having to struggle through things I used to do easily.

I’m done first and foremost means that for the moment, he is done and needs a break. It could also mean I’m embarrassed to have not been able to immediately recognize and read the word.

No means no.

Shut up (responding to Lena’s “Honey, you can do this”) could mean No I can’t / Listen to me / Respect my limits.

This is the hardest part of the scene to watch. Lena is attempting to encourage Jesus, as the neurologist recommended.

However, both of the adults in the scene have failed to listen to Jesus. He drops the weights and says “I’m done” - a clear message despite limited speech - I need a break. He is immediately countered by the therapist that not only does Jesus need to read the boat flashcard, but a full 5 sets of flashcards when he is already at his limit.

He says no, which Lena follows up with “Honey, you can do this.” Which is well-meaning and also ableist. He clearly could not read the card in that moment, so she is not respecting his limits or the fact that he said no.

They take a break after Jesus yells. Not when he says he’s done. And the break is clearly for the adults, who promptly leave Jesus in the care of an aide of some sort, so they can procure coffee and/or vodka.

What is Jesus’s break like? Does he even get to leave the room? (x)

Also, I just rewatched 4A, and in particular 4x09, (the episode where Jesus finds Stef’s journal and reads what she wrote, that Lena didn’t want to adopt him and Mariana.) We can see it affects him by how abruptly he closes the journal and tries to hide it from Mariana, and the way in which he tells Moms what is upsetting Mariana. It is obviously affecting Jesus, too. This discovery is in the episode before he is injured, and while we know that Lena followed through with Mariana and went into more depth about where she was coming from at the time, Jesus was not included in this conversation - though it applied to both twins.

While he is in the coma (4x12) we can see just how big his fear of being abandoned is. He dreams his family moved and left him behind, with no forwarding address. Little Mariana is there, cautioning and trying to protect, but there is no sign of actual Mariana, no other sibs, and notably, no Moms. Lena plays a very specific part in his dreams, too. She is actually physically there and he follows her, at one point, and keeps trying to get her attention, but she never turns around. Most difficult, when Jesus dreams of being at Mariana’s funeral, Stef says, “It’s all your fault,” but it’s Lena who says, “We wish it were you.”

To me, these things indicate, Jesus has a lot of unresolved feelings and fears specific to Mama. To have her walk away and joke about needing a drink now that Jesus has this brain injury? It speaks so directly to his fears of her abandoning him. It’s every (older) adopted kid’s nightmare. To have our deepest fears of being left confirmed. She is walking away. And Jesus may feel like now that he is struggling with so many things, and having honest, big feelings about it, it’s gonna be too much for Mama to handle. And maybe she won’t love him anymore. Being disabled and adopted is so complex. And adoptive parents are not immune from saying and / or doing things that reaffirm our deepest fears that we will no longer be loved or wanted, because that is what our experience of parents tells us is the norm. This fear always exists and being disabled (for an adopted child) can seem to give an adoptive parent a concrete reason to stop loving us. To leave us. Even, to mistreat us. (x)

How Long Is He Gonna Be Like This? Lena asking this question and being met with explanations by the PT about “outbursts” and Jesus’s “short fuse” ignore and dismiss Jesus’s perspective.

This is also the first moment in the episode where we stay with the caregiver POV, instead of with Jesus. We see that Lena and Tomas both dismiss Jesus’s anger as a symptom, instead of a legitimate reaction to his treatment and circumstances. The crying earlier was not seen as a symptom, however. Comfort was given in that moment, because crying is seen as an acceptable reaction. Disabled people are generally pitied by society, and it is expected that we pity ourselves. Disabled anger is rarely viewed as valid. Our public existence is linked inextricably with how we make nondisabled people feel. We are, in many instances, viewed as objects of inspiration. If we cry, a nondisabled person can comfort us and feel good about that. Being in the vicinity of anger, though, does not feel good. And as such, it is often dismissed as an overreaction or a symptom.

$300,000/It’s a Small Price to Pay to Keep Callie Out of Prison: Okay, but wow, Robert. That’s so much money. Plus, it’s gonna really suck if you end up thinking Callie should move in with you because you did her this favor or something.

Sophia and Callie Look So Similar, Maybe He Got Them Confused/Did You Break Into Doug Harvey’s House? It just got real, Callie. And Stef has zero patience left because if the DA finds this out she is going to jail for real and Stef thinks maybe it’s what Callie deserves. Then she takes it back and says she doesn’t mean that. These two are so stubborn. Callie needs to let Stef handle this.

I’m Done/One More Time: Oh, fine motor tasks. How I loathe thee. Jesus is painstakingly separating coffee beans from pennies, and I feel for him. Because we see clearly that, with brain injury recovery, the therapy literally never ends. Not only is the task tedious - it’s boring. And it is complicated further by the fact that it is actually difficult for Jesus to do right-handed, which is super embarrassing in and of itself. Never mind that Lena and Emma feel the need to hover and/or supervise such a mundane exercise. So, something that already makes him feel excruciatingly self-conscious quickly becomes unbearable the moment he makes a mistake in front of two people he feels he needs to impress.

With so much of the day scheduled within an inch of its life, it is no wonder that Jesus jumps at the opportunity to get Mama out of there and goof off a bit with Emma. I love seeing them able to just breathe and enjoy each other, and that Emma does not try to “parent” Jesus.

But Mama is not happy when she comes back. And when Jesus says, “I’m done,” it is once again disregarded. :( The AGGRESSION does not come out of the blue. It is communication that Moms actually acknowledge.

Also, it is nice to see Brandon respect Jesus’s body language and resist the urge to help him up the step when he leaves.

Hey, You Know, I Got It: Here we have the second time that a choice was made to stay with the caregiver POV rather than with Jesus. Isn’t it interesting how, in this moment, Brandon is able to see that Lena needs a break by taking her nonverbal cues? He gives her the space she needs, and even offers to further accommodate her by taking Jesus to therapy the next day.

When is the First Time You Remember Feeling Powerless?/Jesus and I Were Babies: We just watched a podcast about PTSD and EMDR yesterday, so it was really interesting to get to see Mariana do EMDR here.

The therapist asks Mariana what feelings she had when she discovered Nick in her room with the gun. Mariana says she felt scared and powerless. He asks if she has ever felt that way before. She says she has. A bunch of times. Like when the robotics team turned on her and when her mom got shot and they thought she was gonna die.

Then he asks about the very first time Mariana remembers feeling powerless and she describes at time that she and Jesus were babies. They were in their crib, crying and calling out for their mom but she never came. They waited a day, maybe longer.

Though Mariana and Jesus are very much separated in this episode, each dealing with their own stuff, and even though their stuff is different, it is bringing up the same feelings for both of them. In Jesus’s case, dealing with medical trauma brought back his early feelings of being abandoned and feeling responsible for Mariana, as we saw in his dream in 4x12. And in Mariana’s case, Nick hiding in the house and pulling a gun on her triggered feelings that date all the way back to when they were babies.

It’s Okay. My Therapist Gave Me Permission. I’m Taking My Power Back: Mariana is hanging a sheet in her bedroom doorway here because she feels powerless having no privacy, so she is changing that. She tells Moms this is not about them, this is about her. And that her therapist would like to meet with them tomorrow at 3:00. Mariana assumes that they will be too busy but says that her therapist assured her that since Moms love her they will make time to come in. Lena says they will, and Mariana says if they have further questions about her privacy, they can discuss them then.

The thing that leaps out at me the most in this scene is that how clear Mariana is about her boundaries. Putting them up physically and making them with Moms even in terms of the conversation. She does this, though, with her Smart Voice. With her reflexive smile. Both are like armor, that she is clinging to. (Likely because she does not feel listened to when she is vulnerable and honest with Moms.) Mariana needs them to take her seriously, so she goes over their heads here, and does not give them a choice. It all feels a bit manipulative, too, which is not surprising, given just how little she and Jesus could trust adults to take care of them as babies. She is used to using manipulation to get her needs met, to a certain extent. It’s a survival skill that she has not totally lost.

I’m Not Your Bro: Brandon, your cheerleading is super annoying. And “Actually, you are. Or did you forget that, too?” Inappropriate. (But so true to life.) A little tip for our readers? Don’t be like Brandon. To insinuate that someone is in brain injury rehab because they “forgot” how to perform certain tasks is so minimizing. Because what Jesus is doing right now is not “remembering.” He is actually retraining his brain. Forming new connections, making pathways around the damaged areas.

It is such a delicate balance, because you do want and need support in rehab from family and friends. However, you feel embarrassed to your very core to be working on such basic things. And everything everyone says feels condescending, so it’s almost intolerable having people watch you.

Jesus tells Brandon to go away, and miraculously, Brandon listens. (PSA to the family: If Brandon can do it, you can too!)

HEALING IS WORTH IT! DON’T GIVE UP! We spotted this lovely (sarcasm) poster as Brandon is walking away from Jesus. In this one, a person is standing up victoriously from a wheelchair in the sunshine. We’d like to know what it implies if an injury means you must use a wheelchair to get around? (Giving up? Not trying hard enough?) Also, where is the super ableist store where these awful posters are procured? Ew...

Senior Project/What’s It Supposed to Be Now/A Cell...Like Solitary Confinement: The 45th iteration of Callie’s senior project and it’s a doozy...

I Didn’t Know You Knew About Construction/You Would’ve If You’d Asked: Right, AJ? Callie, you weren’t shy about asking Aaron what he knew about construction...

Just Wondering if I Could Ask You Some Questions About How to Help Jesus: While I think it’s great that you’re asking about music therapy, Brandon (possible avenue for you?) how about you ask Jesus what he needs from you instead of asking everyone else how to rewire his brain? I’m sure his answer would be much different than theirs, as well, considering that it seems like he just wants to be connected to you guys and not so isolated. Everybody is so afraid to ask him questions and I feel like they could learn so much if they did. Also, we are not sure how we feel about Brandon outing Jesus to the music therapy student here. While it is assumed that patients here are recovering from TBI, and Jesus did tell Brandon to go away, I’m not sure he’d like knowing you talked about his injury to a perfect stranger...

TODAY, I’M TELLING MY TBI I’M IN CHARGE!: This is an actual poster in the music therapy room. Because, you know, it’s that easy. And all disabilities can be cured by the power of positive thought. (Meant to be read as sarcasm.)

You Made Detective...Human Trafficking: Wow, this would be a shift for Stef! Also, I’m not sure how I feel about Captain Roberts encouraging Stef to keep quiet about whatever might put her career in jeopardy but I guess for the moment I’m relieved.

Jesus, That’s Great! Emma, Not So Much: I love that this scene is included. We see Jesus and Emma both engaged in playing Row Row Row Your Boat, where Brandon could have asked Jesus to play it himself. But there is so much less pressure this way. Brandon gives feedback to both and is not afraid to correct Emma. Being able to succeed at a task gives Jesus a much-needed sense of accomplishment, which is rare in the days of brain injury recovery. Also a plus? Music feels fun and less like work.

From My Perspective, Mariana Exerts Her Will on All of Us, Pretty Much All The Time/I’m Glad You Used Those Words, ‘From My Perspective’: Ooh, ouch, Stef. Mariana’s therapist just got done telling you he thinks she has PTSD and that she’s reexperiencing feeling powerless at home, and that’s what you’re going to say? I feel like Moms could probably use therapy, too, to be honest. I’m glad the therapist is there, guiding them through this so that Mariana knows her feelings are valid.

We Can Never Assume That Our Perspective Is the Only Perspective. Which is Why Communication is So Important: So true. OMG. Her therapist is so wise.

Bedroom Doors Aren’t the Reason Kids Shut Their Parents Out. Lack of Trust Is. Trust That You’re Going to Hear Them. Trust That You’re Going to Respect Their Feelings Without Assigning Your Own Perceptions to Them: This is also so true. Very true for me, at least. And I’d imagine it’s really hard for parents to listen without letting their own perceptions get in the way of hearing and respecting their kids’ feelings.

We Encourage The Kids to Talk to Us All The Time/And Then You Call Me Melodramatic, and Make Me Feel Like My Problems Aren’t as Important as Jesus’s Injury...Maybe Their Problems Are Bigger Than Mine/Honey, Don’t Do That. Nick Held a Gun to Your Head: I love this exchange between Lena and Mariana. How Mariana can clarify how she feels about being called melodramatic and that it literally makes her doubt the validity of her feelings in front of them. Lena can see that and cautions her about it, reminds her that her feelings do matter.

Treat Every Child Respectfully, So We Can Earn Their Trust, and Hopefully Then, They’ll Share Their Secrets: Do you hear this Moms? Every. Child. Respectfully. Including your son in the living room, Jesus. (Oh, gosh, who is at home with Jesus????) His injury does not exclude him from deserving your respect.

I Thought It Was Mariana/She’s at Therapy: So, Brandon’s home, but doesn’t know Emma’s in Mariana’s room and Brandon doesn’t know that Mariana’s at therapy. So he doesn’t know Moms are at therapy with her. Again, I ask, who is with Jesus? I get that he does not want to be stifled all the time but it seems that the only people home are on a completely different floor of the house and no one seems concerned that he has no way to reach them if he needs something.

Did Jesus Yell At You? You Can’t Take That Personally. It’s Just Because of His Injury. It’s Like He Has No Filter: Exhibit #554992 - Jesus’s anger is not legitimate.

No, He’s Never Yelled at Me: Look at that! Maybe it’s because you treat him like a person, Emma!

Something I Need to Tell Him and I’m Not Sure That I Should/Is It Something You Can Tell Me?/I Think You Already Know: Emma, yes you should tell Jesus. If it concerns him, he deserves to know. And Brandon, just because Emma isn’t sure she should tell Jesus doesn’t mean she should tell you. This is not your business.

Stairs: This is a blatant excuse to further the plot by having Jesus witness something he is unable to contextualize due to his physical limits. We see him struggle to do something without proper accommodations or safety precautions.

I Don’t Wanna Be a 16 Year Old With a Baby. Is It Horrible If I Don’t Tell Jesus? I’m Just Afraid That in His Condition, This Would Be Too Much for Him to Handle: So, first things first: your body, your choice, Emma. But you are taking the choice about what Jesus can handle away from him. Let him decide what he can take. I’m pretty sure that lying to him is going to make him feel so much worse than the truth. You were the one person he could count on who treated him, for the most part, like a friend and not a parent. This is gonna be so awful.

I Think It Would Be A Lot For Jesus to Handle Even Without the Brain Injury: Not your call to make, Brandon! Though I do appreciate that he didn’t just cite the injury as the reason not to tell Jesus.

You Have Too Much Makeup On/God, Jesus/I’m Tired. You Should Go: Emma urges Jesus to read a get well card, and Jesus drives her away by saying something mean. He is understandably too embarrassed to admit that he’s having difficulty reading. Dream!Emma did tell him, “You’re too dumb for me,” after all...

Take Detective. Not Gonna Give Up on Gray and Malloy, I’m Just Gonna Do It From the Inside: Well, that does not sound reassuring, Stef.

Doors Are Not Really The Issue. Trust Is. Which We Are Working on Developing. But No More Secrets: Stef, I’m glad you and Lena put the doors back on, but it’s not as simple as expecting the kids not to keep secrets when you guys are still working on developing trust with the kids.

Incapable of Expressing Herself/Paranoid/Dangerous/She Was Defiant: It’s only now that I can actually see that Callie’s senior project has facets of all of her previous senior projects, which is pretty cool. She included the pictures of herself that she gathered/has as well as the ones she took of the houses she stayed in, plus the pages of her file up on the cell wall with these words in big type. How stark and sad. To reduced to your behavior without taking your motivations into account. (Kind of exactly how the family is treating Jesus. Everything about him now is coded through “brain injury” and that stops them from considering all of the valid reasons Jesus could be reacting as he does.)

So Tired of Secrets, So Toxic, Let’s Start Telling Them: Mariana changed her Twitter handle and she just told the whole Twitterverse that she stole her brother’s ADHD meds. (Though, perhaps this is a separate account and more anonymous, which would be good. Keep taking that power back, but don’t forget to respect your fam’s privacy, too.)

Card: We finally get Jesus’s POV! And it is so effective. He attempts to read the card from earlier while alone in his bed, steeling himself beforehand. And the letters on the card move, mix up and blur as he looks at them. I hypothesized that something like this may be happening earlier in the recap, and aside from the blurring, this is very similar to how reading was for me in the beginning of my recovery.

So little is in Jesus’s control at this point in time that he wants to rip the card up. But he knows that destroying it will not change what he sees. So, he resorts to physically covering his eyes while breaking down.

No one is there for him in this moment. He is as isolated physically as he is emotionally. No one can understand the fear he’s feeling. So real. So powerful. Jesus’s recovery is far from over, and unfortunately, there will be many more instances of loneliness and isolation to come. Not to mention the long journey toward self-love and acceptance in the face of a life-changing injury.

For more: Fosters Recaps

#the fosters freeform #jesus adams foster #brain injury #4x14 #doors and windows #aphasia #representation matters #ableism #mariana adams foster

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