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ladyboltontoyou · 5 years

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Arthur Morgan x Reader: Farmer’s Daughter

Ask: Ok well I was wondering if you could write an Arthur Morgan x Reader where the reader is the daughter of a rich farm owning family and Arthur rides up to the farm/ranch one day to scope the place out and see if they're easy to rob but somehow ends up with heart eyes for the reader and starts sneaking around to see her. Doesn't have to be smut, but that would be awesome. Thank you!

Warnings: Probably cursing. A bit of an age gap since Arthur is, you know, like 30 something, and the reader is still living with her parents.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

A/N: So this turned out longer than I had originally planned oops. ALso apparently freezers were invented around the 1830′s so don’t come at me for having ice cubes in Arthurs drink ok. I really hope this is what you imagined and it doesn’t seem rushed, even though I spent like 4 hours on it. Hope it’s not too short or too long. OKAY I’M DONE RAMBLING YOU CAN READ NOW.

The last thing you expected to see on a Friday afternoon was a stranger on a white horse riding up your dirt road. You had been reading a book on your upstairs balcony when you saw him, at first just a small white speck a ways away. But when that white speck started making noise you looked up and saw it was a man on a horse, a visitor. You rarely got visitors here that weren’t two men on a wagon full of supplies.

You set your book down on the table and leaned forward to get a better look as he neared the front of your house. He looked handsome enough, even though you were on the second story balcony and he was on the ground below. From what you could see he was a rugged man about thirty or so, not the kind of men your parents usually dealt with. Your curiosity got the best of you and you walked back inside and downstairs where you saw your father opening the front doors. One of his work friends stood beside him in case things were to go south, his hand sitting comfortably on his pistol as a gentle warning to the stranger that stood on your porch.

“Sorry to bother you folks, I was looking for the Braithwaite manor and it looks like I got myself lost. Do you know whereabouts that is?” His voice sounded so friendly and warm, you would never expect that he was there to see if you would be easy to ransack. You watched the conversation go down from the bottom step of the staircase and tried not to look too obvious.

Your father was totally oblivious and way too trusting. “No worries friend, these back roads are tricky. Fancy a drink? You look like you’ve been riding all day. Come inside and I’ll have my wife draw you up some directions.”

The man looked hesitant but eventually shrugged. “You’re too kind. I’d really appreciate it.”

You took the chance to walk into the tea room since you knew they’d come inside any minute, and you didn’t want to look suspicious. Plus, you wanted to be nosey, it wasn’t often attractive strangers came by. You sat down at the table and picked up the book from the table, something you had already read before, and tried your best to look as if you had been doing it for some time already.

“Who’s that man outside?” Your mother had snuck up behind you and scared the daylights out of you when she leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“I don’t know.” You said after you recovered from the scare. “But he sure is good looking.”

She peaked at the front door and nodded in approval at your taste. “You’re not wrong about that.” Thank god it was your mother and not your grandmother, she would have chided you for hours about being indecent.

Finally, they came in and the man took off his hat, looking around as his eyes adjusted to the change of light. He looked even better looking close up. His facial hair was trimmed neatly but looked like it had grown in a little, the hair on his head the same. His face was partially spotted from the dust in the air from horse hooves but he didn’t look truly dirty, nothing compared to your farmboys.

He looked around and seemed impressed with the place, his eyes looking into every room he could see from his spot. When he looked into the room your father began walking into, the tea room, he only spared you a short glance.

Alright, well, you weren’t used to that. Most men who saw you immediately started complimenting your parents on how gorgeous you were, praising you and never failing to remark some version of ‘You’ll make a wonderful wife/Someone a very happy husband/Beautiful children’. But he didn’t say a thing.

“Darling, would you be so kind as to draw some directions from here to Braithwaite manor? Our friend here has gotten lost.” Your father asked your mother who smiled and obliged, heading upstairs to get some paper. “Oh! I didn’t even see you there!” He said when he noticed you sitting on the couch. “Could you bring our guest some tea?”

The stranger looked at you and looked like he was about to decline and tell you not to worry yourself but you were already standing up. “Sure thing daddy, need anything else?” You asked sweetly with a smile.

Your father looked to the man who just shook his head and tried to say ‘I’m fine’ and ‘No thank you’ at the same time. “No, I’m, thank you,” He jumbled over his words and looked visibly embarrassed. “I’m alright.”

You smiled widely, amused by that. He looked away and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Your father paid no mind and led him to the couch, talking about how harsh the month had been with no rain at all.

When you got back from the kitchen with a glass of tea he looked up and accepted the glass from you happily, muttering a ‘thanks’ before he almost chugged the entire thing, even chewing on some of the ice. Your mother came down the stairs with a piece of paper in hand and one of your nice fountain pens in the other.

“You’ll have to excuse my writing, I’m not the best artist.” She joked and sat on the single chair across from the couch. “You should have told our artist here to do it instead, she could draw him the best map he’d ever laid his eyes on.” She joked and you tried not to let them see how bashful she made you. She always bragged about you and anything you did, you could draw something purposefully awful and she would still treat it like a priceless painting.

“Oh it’s alright, I’m sure I’ll manage.” He chuckled, taking more ice into his mouth.

You sat down on the other side of the couch and watched the man from the corner of your eye. He looked around the house while his jaw moved to chew the ice as if he was taking note of every single window and door. “Say, you folks-”

Your mother sighed in frustration, putting two fingers on her forehead in exasperation. “I’m sorry, I can barely draw a line. Darling, could you please?” She slid the paper across the table and gave you a sweet look.

“I’ll try.” You laughed and leaned down, taking the pen from her.

“What were you saying?” Your father asked from his seat and the man looked confused before he remembered.

“I was just going to ask if you knew of some good people to hire for security. Assuming those men at the end of the road are what I’m thinkin’ they are.”

“Yes, they work for a man named Michael, he hires men that used to be in the war and sells their services to those who can afford it.” Your father said proudly. Arthur just nodded.

“Here’s the house.” You said to the man as you drew a small house next to the scribbles your mother had done. He scooted closer to you carefully and watched as you drew. “And here’s the road. The corn fields are on the right, the tobacco on the left.” You kept talking as you drew and tried to focus on moving the pen instead of how close he was to you. His body heat radiated off of him and grazed your bare arm and neck, you could hear him breathing slowly. He smelt like smoke and day-old cologne mixed with the leather from his coat.

As you gave him directions he would never need Arthur felt morality tug at his heartstrings. You were such good people, welcoming him into your home and showing such hospitality. He would have to tell Dutch there was no way, there were too many workers and guards, he would make something up. He came expecting a snooty rich family but was caught off guard by good people. You all had the generosity, kindness, and respect of poor folk.

When you finished you slid the map over on the table. “Let it sit for a minute before you touch it, the ink’s still wet.” You warned and put the cap back on the pen. “Especially here.” You laughed softly and pointed at the words of his destination where you had spelled it wrong the first time and scratched it out.

He nodded and muttered an ‘alright’, looking at you from a side glance. Your father talked for a while about the people who lived in the manor, not being shy about his opinion. Arthur couldn’t have agreed more but he kept up his facade and played dumb.

“It’s dry now.” You said and Arthur looked away from your father. You were looking at the paper so he took the chance to actually look at you, unintentionally admiring you. Normally he was good about keeping his eyes where they belonged. If there was anyone who respected women it was Arthur, but it was hard not to appreciate your beauty. He figured your sweetness was the only reason he stared. It had been a while since he saw a sweet girl who wasn’t trying to pickpocket him or get him to spend a fortune in the saloon.

“Thank you.” He picked up the paper and admired your work. One of the few things he could really appreciate was art. You drew so effortlessly, the small roads and hills looked like the maps he’d seen the professionals sell. “Well, I reckon I better be on my way, I’ve taken up too much of your time.”

“Not at all.” Your father stood up and so did the stranger. They shook hands as he thanked your father who shook him off and pat his back a few times. “You sure there’s nothing else we could do for you?”

“You’ve done more than enough.” He promised and looked back to you and your mother, the paper held gently in his hands. “Thank you both for your hospitality. And for the map.” He held up the paper and you smiled, causing him to unknowingly do the same.

When he started walking out the door with your father you ran upstairs and almost fell off your balcony to watch him ride off. The hot wind hit your face when you reached the banister, just in time to watch him ride off. He put his hat back on and took one last look behind him, not failing to notice the beautiful young girl watching him leave.

***

The frogs and crickets sang while the fireflies lit the black air with soft pulsating gold. You were on your banister half reading a book and half watching the farmboys work in the fields below, their lanterns bobbing gently through the rows of plants, stopping occasionally to pull up weeds or a dead plant.

It was hard to read. It was stupid to even try. But there was nothing else to do to take your mind off of your thoughts, even though reading wasn’t doing a good job at that. At least it was something.

A dog barking in the distance made you set your book down. It was the dogs they kept up at the end of the road to warn when someone was coming. You waited a minute to see if they would calm down but they didn’t. You heard your father yell downstairs to the men at the end of the road, and they responded with something about deer in the woods.

You believed it for a moment until you heard rattling from the other side of your balcony. The first thing that came to mind was some kind of greasy gunslinging bastard but before you could start screaming two arms hooked over the side of the ledge, covered by that same damn leather jacket you had been so close to earlier.

It shouldn’t have made you feel any better considering his original intentions were to rob your family for everything they had. But for some reason you had a feeling he wasn’t a threat to you. That made you incredibly stupid and naive but thankfully, for once, you were right in this situation.

When he finally pulled himself over he looked surprised to see you standing there watching him. “Now, before you start screaming,” He said as he reached up to grab the lantern that hung above him. “I’m not here to hurt you or anything like that.” He blew out the small flame and the two of you were suddenly surrounded by darkness.

“Then why are you here?” You asked cautiously. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to see him again, but the last thing you expected was this. If anyone saw him your father's politeness would be out the window as well as Arthur.

He sighed as if he didn’t know why himself. “You been on my mind girl, and I don’t know why. I don’t know why my dumbass thought it would be a good idea to risk not only my ass but yours, just to come back up here and ask for your name.”

You covered your mouth to stifle that bubbled in your throat. “Truly? That’s why?”

Arthur laughed softly, shaking his head when he realized how ridiculous it was. “I suppose so. And I wanted to ask for another one of those hundred-dollar drawings you make.”

You laughed again and put your fingers on the bottom lip you held between your teeth. “Oh yeah? Was my map that good?”

He grinned and looked down at his boots, kicking them against the floor to kick some pebbles loose from the bottoms. He couldn’t believe how young he felt then, like he was only sixteen again flirting around with the farmer's daughter. The only thing different from that was he was much, much, much older. If the other men in the gang saw him they’d make fun of him till the day he died for sneaking around for a girl.

“Well, okay, I guess I can make you something.” You smiled while biting your lip. He put on a show of acting grateful, clasping his hands together and placing them in front of his forehead. When you recovered from quiet laughter you went into your room to get some paper and a pencil. You made sure both your doors were locked before you went back onto your dark balcony. You stopped in the open doorway, noticing how little you could see. There was no way you could draw anything out there unless a lantern was lit, but that would be too bright and anyone nearby would be able to see the two of you. “I can’t see out here, maybe we should go in my room.”

He was reluctant for a minute, considering how fast he’d be able to run and jump out the balcony if need be. “Yeah, sure.” He sighed and walked towards the doors. The spurs on his boots lightly jingled and you could hear fabric moving against fabric as he moved past you into your dimly lit room. “Been a while since I’ve been in a room this nice.” He admitted as he looked around your room.

“You live in a barn then?” You teased and sat down at the table near the windows. “Oh, I never told you my name. It’s (Y/N).”

Arthur leaned against the wall near you and crossed his ankles, nodding as he thought over your name. “(Y/N). Never met anyone with that name before.”

You smiled proudly, twirling the pencil in your fingers. “And yours?”

He paused, considering while he looked out the window. “Arthur.” He said finally and looked back to you.

“Arthur.” You mused before remembering what you were supposed to be doing. “Ah, sorry, what did you say you want me to draw you?”

He snorted and crossed his arms. “I didn’t give that any thought, do anything you’d like.”

You bit your lip and looked him up and down. “Okay. It might take me a little while though.” He wanted to say ‘good’, but held his tongue and settled for a ‘That’s okay’.

After about an hour of talking, constant talking, you were finally finished. “If I had longer I could have done better, but, here.” You slid the paper across the table to him. After a while, he got tired and had sat down across from you.

He took the paper in his hands and squinted before his eyes widened. “Christ, girl.” He breathed and looked over the lines and shading. “You’re better than me.”

“You draw too?” You asked with sudden interest but he didn’t respond, he was too caught up in the paper in front of him.

“I can’t believe this. Did you take a picture of me when I wasn’t looking?” He shook his head and scratched his chin as he continued admiring it.

You blushed and ran a hand through your hair, he made you into a flustered mess with those praises. They were different when they were coming from someone who wasn’t kin. “Thank you.” It was all you could say. You didn’t expect him to like it that much, it was a hurried sketch of him leaning against your wall, but as much as you liked to pretend your art wasn’t that good there was no denying that this was an exceptionally realistic drawing. You were almost sad to see it go.

Arthur shook his head and looked up from the paper, looking at you completely different. Like how your father looked at your mother the first time he saw her shoot a gun. Newfound respect and admiration glinted in those pretty blue eyes of his, all directed to you. He was going to say something else but the sounds of heels coming up the stairway stopped him.

“(Y/N)! I just found a letter from June, it came yesterday but-” She grabbed your doorknob and tried to open it, only succeeding in causing the door to shake slightly. Arthur looked at you with wide eyes as she called out your name a second time.

“Go, hurry!” You whispered and he sat up as quickly and quietly as he could, tiptoeing to the open doors. “One second, I’m changing into my nightdress!” You called back to her as you rushed the grown man out of your room.

He paused in the same spot he had climbed up, one hand on the jasmine covered lattice he had used as a ladder. “Could I come see you again?” He asked boldly, the paper in his hand slightly moving from the breeze.

You laughed in disbelief. “There’s no way I could say no to that. You better.”

Arthur smiled then, the widest and cheesiest smile he had worn in a while. If it wasn’t for the lantern sitting inside your room next to the window he stood near, you wouldn’t have seen it. You wanted to say more, but he swung his legs over the edge and left you to explain to your mother why you spent so long doing something so simple.

#red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #red dead redemption 2 x reader #arthur morgan imagines #rdr2 imagines #rdr2 x reader #ask #request #myfanfic #farmersdaughter

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

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when i said it i thought it was true [1] {Ben Hardy}

Anon asked: could you do an imagine where ben is the reader’s ex and they are somehow working together on the set of bo rhap and they fall in love all over again ☺️ could you make it angst-y and then end with fluff? i love your writing so much!!

Anon asked: could you do an imagine where the reader is in bo rhap, maybe playing as one of roger’s gfs or something and she kind of falls in love with ben while filming the scenes with him as roger 💖 very fluffy pls :D

A/N: 3124 words. Super AU version of BoRhap being filmed in the fic. There’s gonna be another part, that will fill the prompts better. This might end up being a series. I hope you enjoy. Feedback would be nice.

When your manager rings you, telling you that you’d landed a part in the Queen Biopic Bohemian Rhapsody, you were elated. Freddie Mercury was a bit of a personal hero of yours, and to be a part of his story on the big screen, it was sort of a dream come true.

In your first meeting, you sign a nondisclosure agreement, and you’re given the latest draft of the script to start learning, as well as a character brief. The script calls your character ‘Amanda’, the girlfriend of Roger Taylor who he eventually realises he wants to settle down with. You’d seen pictures of young Roger Taylor, you wouldn’t lie, you were excited for the role. Honestly, even today he was still quite a fox.

The point is, you were excited to have a fun time on set with a pretty blonde, make some new connections, and earn some good money. Some really good money.

The other shoe drops when you’re flicking through Instagram, and one of the stan accounts you follow has posted a leaked screenshot of the proposed cast list, and there’s your name, right beside the name of the last person you wanted to pretend to be in love with. Ben Hardy; pretty blonde extraordinaire, and your ex-boyfriend.

The table read is... awkward.

The two of you are sat next to each other, and barely spoke two words to each other. You feel unprofessional the whole time, but you’d rather be anywhere else in the world, and the delivery of some of your lines falls a little flat. The director casts a concerned look between yourself and Ben as you rattle of what’s meant to be banter like you’re reading the news paper.

“They’ve got no damn chemistry; it’s like watching a celebrity divorce hearing.” When the Director vents to one of the producers in the hall outside after the reading, you manage to catch it where you’re just about to come out of the bathroom.

“They’ll be better on set, I promise, it’s just jitters.” She tries to soothe his nerves, and they’re off soon after, and you’re left with a cold, sinking sensation in your stomach.

“You’re Y/N, aren’t you? How are you finding the set?” The guy who greets you on your first day on the Eastenders set smiles with such casual ease it feels like you’ve known him for a while, instead of having just met him.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You agree with a quick nod, rocking back on your heels as you gaze around the space, trying not to look at him for too long. “It’s a bit overwhelming.” Actually, what’s overwhelming is that he’s talking to you. He’s Ben fucking Hardy, pretty-boy on the soap-opera scene, and he’s talking to you on your first day.

“Yeah, you’ll be right though; if you need any help or anything, just give us a yell, yeah?” And you realise he probably doesn’t know who you’re playing, or how you’re involved in that Season’s arc, but you certainly did.

“I didn’t know you could play drums.” You’re trying to be casual when you say it, but you see Ben tense where he’s sitting on a sofa in the rehearsal room, script and pencil in hand.

“I can now, that’s all that really matters.” He’s giving off such strong ‘please leave me alone’ vibes that it almost hurts, and you have to push through the knot in your stomach and sit down next to him.

“Ben, we need to at least be civil.” You say quietly, and he looks at you, expression a little forlorn.

“Y/N, we are civil, and we’ve done this before. Let’s just keep it professional, okay?” His tone leaves little room for argument, and you nod in agreement with a small smile, and pull out your phone, waiting for the rehearsal director.

“Hey there, baby, I don’t think I’ve seen you around here; I know I’d recognise your face.” You purr, running your hand delicately over the collar of Ben’s shirt, as his eyes widened and he spluttered to form a sentence, just as the script had told him to.

Your character was more a plot device than anything, when Ben’s character is at a low point, his main romance is on a break, and he meets you, a temptress in all black. Your job is to give his character a realisation, he starts as your cocaine dealer when his supplier can’t make the drop, and he falls for you. Depending on the audience reaction, you knew the producers were waiting to see if they kill you off or have you recover from your addiction. The point is, your fate’s uncertain at the end of the Season, and Ben’s character realises he has to get out of the drug trade.

“I’ve got something for you, from Oskar. Can we go somewhere more private?” When he speaks, it’s with surprising confidence, and he steps up from the bar stool and into your space, smiling as your face lights up. The director calls cut after a moment, and you step back, smile sliding to something genuine as an assistant comes in and straightens your loose, black silk shirt, and they reset the shot for a new take.

“Ben, could you try less flustered? You’re here to deliver drugs, you’re not a schoolboy.” The director’s voice was kind as she came up to the two of you, and Ben agreed easily before she turned to you. “Great job, Y/N, don’t be afraid to be more even more forward, if you feel it.” As soon as you nod in understanding, she absconds, and you half laugh.

“If I was any more forward I’d be in your lap.” You snickered, voice quiet as you dipped your head to hide how you were faintly flustered. Ben was quiet, just watching you for a moment, but before you noticed, the director called for everyone to standby.

“I’m after Maggie, do you know where I could find her?” Ben starts as soon as the cameras start rolling, brow furrowed as he leans across the bar to speak to the bartender, and that’s your cue to enter the scene.

“Hey there, baby, I don’t think I’ve seen you around here; I know I’d recognise your face.” And when you say it this time, he smirks back at you, a little cocky, and you can feel the way it makes your heart flutter and you know it’s not as fake as it should be.

Before filming even starts, the producers have essentially forced you and Ben into bonding sessions which, if this were several years ago, would have just been dates. Now they’re awkward and tense, and you tend to bring heavily highlighted scripts.

“I saw you in that Wes Anderson movie last year. It was a really good performance, one of your best.” He offers over coffee. The idea that he’d kept up with enough of your work to label one ‘your best’ has you a little shocked, and something in your heart warms as you thank him softly.

It’s gotten easier to hang around with him, and it’s even easier to pretend to be in love with him in rehearsals. It’s like riding a bike, how easy it is to let yourself smile and lean into him, to let the banter flow easily between the two of you, fond jabs that edge on insulting coming as easily as breathing.

Joe mentions that he thought the two of you worked together before, and when you reply that you’d dated for almost a year, he goes very quiet, eyes going wide. After a beat, he admits it explains a lot.

“X-Men did you real dirty.” You’re half paying attention to an interview with Roger Taylor that the two of you had been instructed to watch together. You’re both in his trailer, sitting on opposite ends of the sofa as you watch in almost complete silence.

“What?” He asks, after a beat, your words having taken a moment to process.

“Killing you off like that; they could have gotten so much mileage out of your character.” The way you say it is far too well thought out to be an idle thought. Ben smirked.

“You just liked the leather pants.” He muttered, but you’re silence is answer enough. You know he sees your embarrassed smile, but you can’t bring yourself to deny it.

“Hey, do you wanna grab a drink after and go through notes and blocking and stuff?” You’re shooting your third episode, and you’re far more comfortable on set by now. Agreeing easily, you let Ben drive the two of you to what he claims is the best pub in town, and you sit in one of the more secluded booths to talk.

It turns out he’s just as much a fan of you as you are of him; you’re known more for your bit-parts in long-running series, it seems like the only show you hadn’t been a part of so far had been Eastenders, it was only a matter of time. It’s an innocent night, true to his word, all you do is talk, and discuss the script. There is one part of the upcoming script that has you a bit nervous.

“Listen, honestly just go for it; it’s not meant to be sweet or anything, I’m literally taking coke from you.” You tell him, fidgeting, and he’s hums thoughtfully.

“You sure? We can talk to the director, I’m sure-” He offers, but you laugh to hide your nervousness.

“Nah, let’s knock it out of the park, the script says go for it so just go for it.” You assured him, heart rate already quickening at the mere thought of it.

The next day, before the scene, the director comes over to talk you through it, making sure that if anything becomes uncomfortable, that you can talk to her. Both you and Ben assure her that it’s fine.

“You’re far too cute for this line of work.” You say as you hold a baggie of “cocaine” up to the light, smile playing on your lips.

“Cute? Ouch, you really know how to wound a man, you know.” He says, leaning back against the sofa in the hallway of the grubby hotel your character was staying in. He’s watching you with interest, small smile playing on his lips.

“Cute’s not a bad thing, baby, but you look like you should be making coffees or playing football in the sun, not here, not with me.” And you tap out a little of the powder onto your hand, pretending to snort it before you turn to him, his expression dark and hungry, and he kisses you, aggressive, almost desperate, and you lean into it, almost forget you’re playing a role with his hand on the back of your neck. When he lets go, when he pulls away, your eyes are still closed and you chase his lips for a moment. Eyes flickering open, you see him smirking down at you where he’s standing, and you both know it wasn’t entirely acting.

“You don’t know anything about me.” He growls, and you know you have to smile like you’re into it, like it’s a challenge, but instead, you duck your gaze, giving a small laugh and wiping at the nostril you’d just “snorted cocaine” through, before looking up at him through your eyelashes.

They call cut, and the director announces, almost a little awed, that she’s pretty sure they got the the take, actually says she’s not sure if she could getting a better take if they tried again. Ben seems far too pleased with himself.

“They want us to tell the public we’re together.” You’re resting your head on Ben’s chest laying at the back of the tour-bus set, and his hand is resting on your waist, which is bare for the crop top and booty shorts they’ve put you in.

“Yeah, I heard.” He replies, voice equally quiet. “I think we’ve got a meeting about it tomorrow morning.” Gwil and Rami are actually playing scrabble at the front of the bus, and Joe is talking to Singer, the director.

“It’s a bad idea.” You’re so frank that you feel Ben freeze, and you heave a sigh. “It’s good for the movie, but Ben...” You trail off, and you feel it when he forces himself to relax. “It wouldn’t be real, it would just be weird.”

“Y/N, we’re actors.” He says very pointedly, and when you turn, resting your chin on his chest, he looks tired, a little exasperated. “It’s just a business deal.” He assured, and you let out a low, thoughtful grumble.

“We’ll discuss it tomorrow.” You allow, and he nods once, shifting to a more comfortable position, and you go back to resting your head on his chest, eyes fluttering closed as Singer called for the shot to be reset and a bunch of people came and straightened your clothes, and touched up your makeup, all without you having to move much.

You agree to the terms set forth in the meeting easily, the story being that your relationship rekindled on set, and that you were now madly in love, mirroring the relationship you were portraying on screen.

“Wait, does that mean-?” Ben leans forward in his chair, with his heart in his throat as he followed their logic, thinking through the plot of the movie. “Like engaged?” He asked.

“Seems a bit fast.” You agreed, voice level enough that someone might mistake you for calm rather than internally freaking out, and your managers shared a look.

“There will be a public proposal during or after the world premiere, that’s up to you both, and after the movie is out on DVD, you can go your separate ways.” They assured, but your mouth fell open.

“You know he left me for X-Men, right?” You splutter, and Ben’s eyes widen as he turns to you with a scoff.

“You’re the one who said the distance was too much for us while I was in Cairo.” He snapped, and you threw your hands in the air.

“I was offering to come and stay with you instead, but you said you were too busy!” That was enough to shut him up, his mouth snapping closed as he turned away sharply, huffing out a resigned sigh.

“We have a few brands and restaurants who are interested in sponsoring, and the producers are willing to increase both your salaries if you go through with it for the full duration.” Your manager informed you both carefully, and you and Ben shared a resigned look.

“Fake intend to marry me for like three months?” He asked, voice low and bitter, and after heaving a long sigh, you look to your managers,

“Fine.”

“I think I love you.” Ben’s character shows up at your character’s door, and you open it in a silk robe.

“Hello to you too.” You laughed, but he’s so serious, so sincere, and when he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t offer anything else, you step up to him, pressing your lips to his, and he wraps his arms around you, hands sliding against the silk over your hips, and you pull back.

“You’re too sweet for me, baby,” voice so low it’s barely a whisper, he’s the one who chases your lips this time, but your catch his chin, and his eyes open.

“You’re high.” He says softly, voice raw and a little desperate.

“And you’re my dealer.” You push him back gently, going to close the door and his expression turns angry.

“That doesn’t mean anything; I love you, Maggie.” His words hang heavily in the air, but before you can respond, they call for cut. You’re told to play it more like it hurts to try and turn him down, and you agree, smiling and nodding all the while. Everyone sets up for another take and you close the door.

When you kiss him this time, his hands are holding your face, and you’ve got your arms around his neck, and it’s like the world falls away from around you. It’s not acting now, hasn’t been for weeks, almost months now, not since he’d asked you out officially. Every time you kiss him you’re desperate to drown in his embrace, and he kisses you like it’s just the two of you, no cameras, no scripts.

“You’re-” and he cuts you off with another quick kiss, which has you laughing a little sadly, “Peter you’re too sweet for me.” He rests his forehead against yours, heaving a sigh.

“I know you’re high.” He says gently, and you don’t push him away this time, just lean back, your finger lifting his chin.

“And you’re my dealer.” You tell him, expression falling.

“That doesn’t mean anything, that doesn’t matter; I love you.” And you know that in that moment, the words mean so much more than the script, than these characters, than the show; he loves you. Ben loves you.

You avoid him, outside of filming, until you actually get a call from your manager telling you you’re contractually obligated to be seen in public together at least once a week. Even while filming you’re short with him, and he’s quick to get away from you the moment he doesn’t need to be around you, which was getting to be pretty bad, seeing as how you had been blocking a sex scene.

After the call, you and Ben get a drink. It’s awkward at first, though that’s unsurprising. After a long sip of his beer, he pats his thighs where he’s sitting in the armchair across from you. You make a face at him, shaking your head.

“It’ll look less suspicious than if we’re shouting at each other across the table.” He hissed, and you groaned, obliging and crossing to sit yourself in his lap. He’s warm and secure, and he wraps his arm around you like it’s second nature. “Let’s not make this weird.” He said gently, and you nod.

“As for tomorrow’s shoot,” you said softly, leaning in to make sure no-one else heard, and he nodded, humming softly, “we’re professionals, and,” after a beat you cleared your throat pointedly, “it’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

“Not in front of a camera crew we haven’t.” Ben says with a smirk, and you snicker in agreement. “It’s gonna go fine; this is all gonna go fine, I promise.” And when you raise your eyebrows at him in surprised question, he just laughs softly, and brings you in for a chaste kiss. “It’s only until the DVD’s released.” He assures you, and you let your expression fall, already weary.

“Ben, that’s over a year away.”

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #queen #queen imagines #eastenders #eastenders imagines #the angry lizard writes

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someoneslittlesunshine · 5 years

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SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KNOW/HEAR ABOUT ED TUMBLR THAT I WISH I KNEW

Even severally underweight people cant see their ribs without sucking in at least a bit. Its all based on skin, body type and water retention not just weight

You’ll always feel incomplete, your gw isn’t your only happiness.

Youll probably have cold more often, Brittle nails, dry hair and lanugo

Your stomach might shrink, eating normal portions might actually start to hurt and damage your organs permanently

Being thin wont make people magically like you, and if they did they probably aren’t healthy or positive for you in the long run

Your family will never understand, everyone’s Ed is different and no one can be expected to understand the depths of your mind

Most girls on here photoshop. I’m sorry but sucking in and photoshopping is still a lie, it’s inaccurate and disgusting that people even try

It’s all a lie, 1200 calories is the daily recommendation for a small child. You’re probably n o t a small child. You need vitamins even if you don’t wanna hear it

You’re going to have to recover eventually. It’s everyone’s fear but it’s the truth. It’s either it kills you or in some way you recover,

Recovery happens, but so do relapses. Don’t expect it to be easy “ wow I’m sooo better” nah man you’re not. If you have these thoughts you’ll probably keep coming back to em, most of the time an Ed is a safe controlled place we seek even if it’s unhealthy

People don’t notice your weight. Do you look at someone and go “ you’re heavier then the average, i hate you”,,,, no? Great , yes? Are you an asshole? I recommend instead of an Ed you just stop being a dick towards others and yourself.

12. Judging yourself is judging everyone who looks like you also. You’re basically judging a stranger when you judge yourself. Imagine someone with the exact body as you, would you call them fat and ugly now? I hope not cause if so

Suck my hairy 𝒷𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓈

#ana #anareixa #thinspo #binge #anamiiia #anarexic #binge eating #dont binge #im not pro just using tags #anamemes

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oswednesday · 4 years

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sees the team they gave opal,

anyway

(i dont have any big changes in mind for opals gym it was pretty perfect, if it was Real Life bede would not be in the running cause id smash that whole thing up, opal would NOT be able to resist my level of pink, if anything its just a little plot changes, stuff i was already uuugh about)

(long before her mom retired, opal was a Scientist, but before that she had tried to break into acting ; despite at the time being just a young teenager she was turned away from auditions and even guilds for looking too old, defeated she gave into her mother's pressure and attended a college, she ended up being at the forefront of the verging bio-technology field)

(ability: insomnia, moves: Hypnosis, Dream Eater, Dazzling Gleam, Synchronoise)

(you obvi wont be seeing this one again! or any of them for the cup!)

(she took over the gym when her mother retired as per tradition but didnt really put much interest in it beyond the barest minimum, between the gym and her work she didnt have much room for a social life, and not to use the word interest again, but she wasnt particularly interested in settling down with a family, she had one of Those moms who are like oooh i had to give up a careeer to haaave you, despite like, having a whole entire gym, after some horrible science gone wrong tho opal was happy to retire from all that nasty business,she taught for a while and for a short time bellonlea was a bustling college town)

( i think ill have the gym challenge be in parts like a sit down before hand before the practical, i had gotten really excited about the build up thinking we were going to see a gameified bubble test ffggfd,,,,wow,,,anyway, if you get one wrong youll get shocked! one of your pkmn have a 50/50 chance of getting paralyzed, you can cheat with your rotom phone? if it was a game and not a comic there’d be a mechanic for that, if you get caught you get kicked out but opal will let you try again, cause cheating is pink but its not pink that you got caught but it IS pink that youd come back like nothing happened, like, super pink)

(ability: healer, moves: heal pulse, aromatherapy, draining kiss, toxic)

(another shiny! also, a note, this was another design i didnt appreciate at first but now i really do, i was hoping like many others that it was going to get creepy but theres a really like mature restrain in this design, still conveying a plague doctor while also being french aura’d really a 10/10 design)

(on stage hot air is in effect! i think you should have to dress up before hand like from opals costume room? you get stat boosts when she likes your clothes pick and stat lowering when she doesnt, youre getting points based on the move like a beauty contest and not a battle so you cant just attack mash your way through)

(ability: cute charm, moves: sing, perish song, wake-up slap, disarming voice)

(once youre done with that, its gym battle time! the astroturf is like grandma carpetting but like, extra plush, theres glowing mushrooms and moss and a Strange Fragrance in the air, this is a kind of fairy terrain!)

(ability: rattled, moves: ice fang, outrage, crunch, lick)

(this is one of my fave pkmn and i think its silly that its not fairy fighting! i could just chance it in the emulator, live my dreams,,)

(all fairy types have a less likely chance of taking status effects and have a chance of recovering from them without the aid of an item, or waiting multiple turns, all pkmn sp attk or sp def might be raised or lowered at random, theres a chance non-fairy type pkmn might not want to battle at all similar to the effects attract has so youll miss a turn (certain abilities make a pkmn immune to this probs stuff like pkmn with intimidate, pressure, ect)

(ability: normalize, moves: sleep talk, copycat, assist, foresight)

(the fragrant air has a 30% chance of putting non-fairy type pkmn to sleep, for normal and dragon pkmn its a 50% chance! its like at the start of your turn thing, poison type attacks can do less damage, but enough poison can turn the air noxious! like in any battles, and that deals poison damage, ill figure all the air stuff out later, i think adding another way the field can be effected would be fun :> )

(using her considerable resources, she launched a luxury fashion and beauty brand using her past research to develop make ups, lotions, textiles and the like, so when she finally fully retired from academia she had a Nice nest egg to sit on while putting her focus fully on her gym)

(call her professor poplar and she will ignore you)

(already in her 70s when the chairman was elected to the position by the league's board, she was v set in her ways and didnt adapt to dynamaxing right away, she eventually gave in tho, her gym and the city is far less razzle dazzle than you'd expect from someone like opal, in part because she refuses outside sponsorship and "makes due" with simply being a modest millionaire)

(ability: aroma veil, moves: acid armor,topsy-turvy ,me first, stored power)

( this thing is ruby swirl with love bows! i originally did love sweets but i think she’d like that pop of purple!)

(this is the one she dynamaxs of course! she’ll wait as long as she can to use it tho, youll get some ominous old lady warning, some vague lore, she’ll us g-max finale and youll end up facing her whole team again! it totes means allies on the field but that makes it waay too niche for a big finale monster attack!)

(would it just wild to change opals name? like i could use poplar but like whyd they give everyone plant names anyway?? they seem so random too, then the english names are sooo different? at the same time,, its kinda neat to have these plant names that im interperting as rustic charm, omg i think i might go with poppy,its her name in italian; that has actual ties to fairy stuff, like poppy poplar, omg and like with poplar i wanted to give her a medical background? plus the fairy stuff like! shes kinda,,weirdly medicinal themed on her own? maybe its a “joke” about her being old fddgdf)

#wednesday plans a nuzlocke

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bunchamunchafaunus · 6 years

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The Rise of a Ventian Queen [2]: The Next Step

“So, Peri.”

Hearing her name got the worried woman’s attention drawn from her bedridden friend to the man behind her. A raised brow curious what he wanted, such only getting stronger seeing him pat at the floor beside him.

“Come tell me some stories of Team Empress while we wait for her to recover.”

Such a simple request actually got the Komodo laughing. She wasn’t sure why she had expected anything else, but for some reason it caught her off guard. It only took another glance back to the slumbering Qilin to realize they were going to have to wait for a fair while before she’d wake. They definitely had time to relax, especially given she was sure the NeverCondor would take to the skies to get away from the canyon once it could.

So she did just that. Stepping back till she felt her back eased to the wall by her tail keeping her from just outright falling against it, she found herself on the metal ground beside her friend’s father figure. Taking in a breath to relax herself as she let her shoulders drop at last. Tail curling round to fit it’s thinner end under her legs.

“Well to start, I think I gotta mention she was the most awkward person out of everyone in the room the night before our entrance exam. No lie, she just kept looking over everyone in some awestruck state for about an hour at least while people came in and out of the room.”

The two laughed some, Peri recalling the silly look that had been on Emma’s face back then, Umbir imagining it.

Knowing they were in for some fun chatter, they made themselves comfortable and began. Not too long after would they feel the engines of the NeverCondor roaring to life and the large metal vessel leaving the ground and beginning to soar.

- One Day Later -

P - P a p a...

S h i t! E m m a!

Ringing.

L a y h e r h e r e!

Silence.

Darkness.

Was she?

No, no, she was still hearing noises here and there. So very faint and muffled, but they were there. Familiar voices, laughter, beeping... snoring? She was still so warm too. She had to be alive, right? Yeah, yeah, she had to be. From everything she knew, she’d be cold if she wasn’t.

For some time it was just this empty void. The odd sound so faint and muffled here and there, but nothing all too loud or obvious. Just the constant wonder of what might have happened to her and what would come to pass. It got to the point she was actually starting to worry, trying her best to have something, anything change. Yet nothing did, no matter what she tried.

Though something eventually changed, a small, tiny little dark orange light breaking the darkness. One that would change to fit a form, a humanoid figure. Instantly she knew what it was, and felt herself calm with it’s presence quickly. But that calm would suddenly be shaken up, hearing a voice. One that was clear, one she never heard before. A woman’s voice, low, echoing, comforting. One single sentence being spoken by it.

“I am proud of you”

The source of this voice disappearing soon after, leaving her alone in the quiet darkness once more. But this would not last long before the Qilin felt herself falling. Such a sudden sensation causing fear and panic to fill her, making her body jerk and flail for a single second as she sat up and found herself awake, staring at a wall judging by what she could now see her aura flowing up. Her breathing being long, deep breaths as she took in the situation.

Aching and sluggish body, left leg felt better but right knee still stings, a slight pinch in left arm, the sudden moving form of a person with a blue aura running past her view. The left side of which showed nothing defined when they saw the other living being, just a messy uncontrolled pattern of blue spread across a whole half her vision. Blinking a few times, she could tell her aura was switching from it’s default navigational assistance to the protective layer and back each time. Eventually stopping, closing her eyes, and focusing it to it’s defensive capabilities before letting it ease back to it’s usual sight-providing action. Finally staying as such whenever she blinked afterward.

“Emma!”

The Princess’ head turned immediately upon having the ever so familiar voice register to her, seeing the umber form of her father figure standing in what seemed to be a doorway. Plus some slight peek of a friendly red aura just around the door-frame beside him though it would duck back to be hidden as she saw the man draw closer. Soon after feeling his arms wrap ‘round her upper body and his cheek against the top of her head.

She wanted to return the embrace, but her body felt slow, heavy even, much more than she was used to. It even hurt some to try and move anything beyond how her body was now after having awoken so suddenly. Though she was sure she could manage speaking at the very least, so she cleared her throat before attempting to.

“Papa?” Her voice a little rough, but she still spoke. Not getting an answer right away, she could feel his arms move and saw his form begin lowering some. Soon seeing the shape of the man’s head as he had dropped to one knee in front of her so she wouldn’t have to turn her own head up so high.

“Yes, Lil’ Filly?”

That nickname again, she wasn’t sure whether to feel comfort hearing it again or to be annoyed by it and say she wished she hadn’t woken up as a joke. Quickly deciding against the later.

“What-... What happened? After what I did?”

“Well, assuming you remember up to the point I signaled the NeverCondor to fire, they got the two shots off. The destroyed rocks and trees from the blast on the cliff and the mountain began falling down into the canyon, but I’m pretty sure you somehow managed to stretch out your Semblance’s range because it all stopped mid-air and began spreading out across the width of the canyon itself. Once the Goliaths were getting right under the debris, it began dropping. Some hit the first two, the rest began falling on the next two, but all the stuff that you had circling the three of us quickly sped up and began being loosed in the direction of the front two Goliaths. The barrage forced them to start moving backward, thus suffering the rest of the falling debris like the two behind them. Four Goliaths were pinned beneath all sorts of rocks and trees, likely dead, and the Grimm on the far side were blocked off.”

Hearing it back from Umbir, Emma was sure she had been awake for the events he recalled. Her own mind replaying the sounds she had heard at the time. The thunderous gunfire from the Airship, the trumpeting sounds of the Goliaths, stone hitting stone, she was sure of it. “What about after that?”

“After the wall of debris settled, you collapsed. You had exhausted the vast majority of your aura to the point that you couldn’t stay awake. The Dust crystal you had used fell from your hands, depleted, and the winds around us started to die down. With the remains of the Grimm horde that were on our side starting to move again, I had Peri take you and get you into the NeverCondor. I ran back on my own, the turrets were manned, cannons recharged or reloaded, and the majority of what we still had to worry about of the horde was destroyed. Once enough was gone, we took to the skies. We’re settled above the ocean right now.

“How long was I out, Papa?”

“I wasn’t exactly paying attention to the time, but judging by the position of the sun compared to how it was when you lost consciousness, it’s almost been a full twenty-four hours.”

Twenty-four hours, it felt like she had been in that dark space for so much longer than a single day. One shaky inhale later, the name he had mentioned snapped back to her mind, making Emma move in sudden worry, despite the pain she felt by doing so and the wince it earned from her. A noise which got her father figure immediately rising to stop her from moving too much and carefully lay her back down.

“What about Peri, where is she?”

“She’s fine, Emma. Your teammate’s a wonderful young woman who cares a lot about her friends. Peri was actually by your side for the first few hours, it took telling her about how strong you were during your recovery after Samuel grabbed your neck that one time to get her to calm down, eat, and get some rest. She’s still asleep since she used up quite a bit of her own aura against that horde as well.”

To hear the Komodo was safe and resting eased the Qilin’s worry for the other. Sighing with relief as she let her head press back against the pillow.

“I’m gonna have to face them now that I’m here aren’t I? Make sure all those people aren’t scared about him finding them and ruling them like Manus did so they don’t attract Grimm like that again.”

Umbir chuckled a little. “It’s actually kind of funny that you mention it. There’s some soldiers who were loyal to Cres, now loyal to me, out side this room right now. They insisted on standing guard outside the Medical bay to make sure you’d be safe while you were out.”

This revelation was... odd... to say the least. Emma was so sure she would never be able to successfully fill any Royal role for so long in her life. Then she announced herself to dozens of Nobles as the Princess she was by blood, making word spread of her living state after having been thought dead for a good while. Now, she had people looking to her to be their Queen. People from her own place of birth. Ventian civilians and soldiers both. She didn’t feel ready to accept the role they needed her to play, but if she didn’t, she knew the events of the previous day would eventually happen again.

Maybe even to a much, much worse degree.

“Either way we look at it, I can’t really move right now can I?” She remarked with a little chuckle behind her words. A sound which Umbir repeated on his end at the inquiry.

“No, not really. Not without it hurting a lot since you’re body’s still recovering from such a heavy dip in aura. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be able to move around better again. Plus your legs could use just a bit more rest. The cut on your left was shallow, but it was long, and the scrape to your knee was a lot worse, so even with another day of your Qilin genetics healing that up it’s going to be sore when you try to walk on it again.”

“Okay ‘DAD’. I’ll stay in bed...!” A joke reply, but one that both parties laughed at.

“It’s nice to know you’ve still got that childish side to you after all this time and all the hardships you’ve faced, Emma. I’ll go get you some water.”

The Qilin simply nodded in thanks for the man’s concern and care, letting herself relax and her eyes close for a moment while she listened to his footsteps leaving the room. A shuffle of a couple other metal clad feet outside the room moving to clang together before stepping to what she assumed was a basic defensive stance for the Soldiers she had been informed of.

Over the next few hours, Umbir would come and go from the room. The two speaking over various different topics and points of her experiences ever since she had left Ventus so long ago. At one point even getting Peri up and visiting Emma to see how everything was going. The three of them conversing and interacting for a fair while longer before one-by-one people left the Medical bay for the night leaving Emma to rest on her own.

It was about noon the next day when the Qilin’s friend and teammate would enter the Medical bay with a set of new, clean clothes in a bag for her.

“Big day today for ya, Em’.” The woman remarked making her way toward the Qilin’s bedside. As she did, she watched the young woman atop the bed adjusting to an up-right seated position with a smile across her face. “Roy and I made sure to get something that looks real fancy.”

“Roy’s with you?”

“Well not right now, no, he went to talk with Umbir about something, but I did drag him along for the clothes.”

“You didn’t get something that’s all show without any comfort did you...?”

“Oh hell no, I know well enough that we tailed Faunus need clothes that are comfortable over everything else. Stuff’s real soft on the skin and still looks nice. I’m not gonna say you’re going to be comfortable mentally or emotionally while you’re up in front of your people, but at the very least you will be physically.”

Lifting the bag in her hand, Peri placed it down into Emma’s lap. “A nice white button-up top with a black knee-length skirt that has purple floral patterns, some white thigh-high socks, and a purple ribbon that can be tied into a bow under your collar or you can tie back your hair with it. I’ve got you~ Now go ahead and get dressed, I’ll be waiting outside.”

“Thank you, Peri.” Emma spoke with a soft thankful tone while the Komodo was close enough to still hear. Watching on afterward while the woman’s red form would leave the room, leaving her alone in it again. Taking a second, she made sure to pull the curtain by the foot of her bed ‘round to hide her from view of the door to the room.Once with more privacy provided, she shifted to get off the bed on the far side to begin changing her clothes. Taking a second of pause noticing her necklace was absent from around her neck.

About five minutes would come to pass before Peri and the four soldiers standing ‘round the door as protective guard for the Royal within the Medical Bay would hear the door open. A second later seeing the Qilin step out from the room within the newly provided clothing. The bag in hand containing the clothes she had changed out of, and the purple ribbon in her hand. Tail behind her finding itself dropping low and pressing against her leg with uncertain worry about the situation.

The four Soldiers, upon seeing her come to a stop, would turn to face her directly. A single stomp being done as they would, unknown to Emma, salute to her. Peri on the other hand could see that the three men and one woman had their right hands raised and placed diagonally across their chest while their left was tucked behind the small of their backs.

Taking a second, the Royal looked around to the four unfamiliar aura forms that surrounded her. A rather nervous smile present upon her face that all present could see clearly. After a couple seconds of silence, one of them would clear their throat before speaking. The sound drawing Emma’s foggy eyes to the unknown person immediately to her left before their pale yellow form in her eyes would lower to a knee.

“Your Highness, Melo Grove, I used to serve the late Queen Cres rather closely.” A soft woman’s voice quickly introduced herself. “I’m unsure of whether Sir Dew has mentioned it directly to you yet, but Cres truly did regret forcing you out of Ventus. For the past few years especially she searched for any sort of sign that you were alive in hopes of eventually meeting you in person and apologizing for her actions. When word spread among nobles across Remnant that you were present at the Duke of Coste’s charity event, she was ecstatic to know you were alive and well.”

What the Soldier said, while not entirely new to the Qilin as she had, indeed, heard some of it from Umbir, was appreciated. If not for the fact it contained some new information, then because it came from a voice which sounded so genuine and confirmed what her father figure had told her. Still, even with how she felt, there was the whole fact that being treated the way she was by these four was entirely new territory. A short glance to Peri for some sort of assistance just earning a shrug to the red shoulders of her friend’s figure.

“I-...” Focusing her attention back to Melo, she swallowed a nervous lump that had formed in her throat. Stepping closer to the kneeling woman, she shifted the lone ribbon to the same hand holding the bag as to clear one up for freedom of use. Then bringing that same hand up to gently rest on the woman’s shoulder, which caused their head to rise and she could feel their eyes on her once more. She noticed now a soft vibration of anxiety in the pale yellow form. One she attempted to ease by giving a soft, more confident smile.

“Th-Thank you, Melo. It-uh... it comforts me knowing Queen Cres wished no ill will towards me during the last years of her life. I-... I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to fill her shoes since I honestly never really expected to be doing... well.. any of this honestly, but I hope that we may work together as well.”

It was obvious to the four that the Royal they were currently looking to wasn’t exactly used to any of this. That despite how unsure of herself she sounded, the Qilin was trying her best. They could all respect that, immediately feeling much more comfortable with her as the one they would soon follow. Melo herself now giving a wide smile as she looked up at Emma.

“I would be honored to work alongside you, Your Highne-”

“Emma, please...”

“Emma... I look forward to serving you.”

Seeing the woman’s head bow again, the Royal watched her soon rise to her feet again.

“Is there anything we may do for you... Emma...?” The tone of Melo’s voice made it obvious she was going to have to get used to using a proper name instead of a title while addressing her superior.

For a short bit, things were quiet on the Qilin’s end, looking between the four soldiers again, this time in thought. “C-Could I maybe get some more privacy with Peri? We’re in a safe place, I really don’t think I need four guards here...”

She didn’t see it, having been looking away from the one Guard who’s name she knew so far at the time. Melo’s attention moved between the other three, the group coming to an unspoken agreement before the trio of still unknown Soldiers would take their leave. Relaxing their forms and beginning down the hall of the Airship they were currently in.

Sighing once there was less attention on herself, Emma turned to the woman once more. This time bowing her own head as she voiced her appreciation. She received a bow in return. After which her attention moved to Peri as she fetched the ribbon from the hand the bag was in.

“Could you tie my hair back? Just want it all to be nice and neat behind me for when I do this.”

The Komodo, befitting her personality, chuckled some at the request, but nodded none the less. Stepping to her friend, she took the ribbon in hand before physically encouraging a turn with a gentle push to the shoulder. Once such movement finished, she brought the ribbon between her lips to hold it while working on collecting the mass of near white hair that belonged to Emma. Every now and then working a hand down the length of it to try and funnel it all together better the farther down it went.

“Peri?”

“Yeah?”

“You possibly know where my necklace went?”

“Yeah, Umbir has it. Said he’d be giving it back later while you’re addressing everyone.”

Her answer made some sense to the Qilin, nodding a little in understanding as she fell silent for her friend to finish her work.

Once she felt she had a good enough control of her friend’s hair, Peri shifted hold to one hand as the other retrieved the purple fabric and worked it around the hair to replace her other hand. Finally being able to begin working on tying the ribbon tight to give a clean and proper finish to Emma’s appearance with a small bow holding her knee-length hair together at the bottom of the back of her neck. Looking to Melo, she earned an approving nod from the woman before looking back to it herself and nodding her own head.

“There ya go, ‘Your Highness’.”

The joking use of the title earned an elbow moving to impact with her arm. Laughter following from both the Faunus as Emma turned to face her teammate again. All this right before the shorter of the two would move to hug the taller, which was quickly reciprocated.

“Thank you, Peri, for everything you’ve done the past few days.”

“You’re welcome, Emma.”

The two letting their embrace last a couple seconds longer. Breathing in the comfort they shared knowing they were both alive and well after what they had gone through the other day. Once comfortable, both let go, Peri patting at Emma’s shoulder as one last gesture of fondness before she’d speak again.

“Now, you’ve got a crowd to address.”

A deep breath in and a sigh out would be taken by the Qilin. “That I do...” She glanced the two ways down the hall available to the three of them, brow furrowing some. “Um... Melo?”

“Yes?”

“D-Do you know what way we need to go?”

“That I do, just follow me.” Without missing a beat, the pale yellow figure Emma had turned her eyes to stepped side-ways. An outstretched hand gesturing the opposite direction than the other three had gone earlier. Quickly following up the gesture by turning herself in full and beginning down the hall.

The two Huntresses followed behind the woman for a minute or so, passing through the hallways and by some crew members here and there. Multiple different rooms they may have been able to turn into as well, yet Melo kept going. Eventually turning into a much wider hallway than the ones that they had walked through so far. One with a multitude of people seated along the walls, some standing, others walking between each other. The moment they did, Emma froze.

Looking down the hallway, the Qilin’s sight was filled with such a vast array of colors filling it. The initial viewing of so many people was too much for her with half being as messy as it was. It hurt her head to see all of them. She turned her head to clear her view and hopefully ease the strain it put on her. Peri’s red soon stepping into view as she felt her hand at her shoulder.

“Your eye bugging you?” Her question only received a nod from the shorter woman as her left eye closed and a hand rose over it.

“Her eye?” Melo stepping around to the Royal’s side with her question. “What happened?”

“A while ago Emma had an incident where she saw some odd aura that she said looked like a person. She called out to them, they didn’t respond, she tried to get closer but it just kept moving at the same distance away from her. She said it seemed to just slide around, never taking a step or turning or anything. Eventually it stopped, she got right next to it, then the next thing she knew she woke up back in her room at the Inn our team owns. Umbir said that he had been watching over her for a while, and when he saw what was happening he followed her, but when he caught up an Ursa had hit Emma into a tree, and she was unconscious on the ground. He killed the Ursa, brought her back and ever since she woke up, her left eye hasn’t been working the way it should.”

While Peri retold the events to Melo, Emma found herself shivering some remembering it all. Her mind calling back to the months where she felt unlike herself afterwards. It got her right eye closing as well as the discomfort of the memories from that time began setting in.

“Wh-What do you mean it’s not working the way it should? Can she not see with it?”

“She was born blind, Melo. Sometime during her childhood her aura adapted to allow her eyes to register visual sources of aura and give some semblance of sight. She sees everyone as generic humanoid forms of solid color based on what their aura’s color is, which ever since the old Great War tends to match with their name. Mine’s Peri, my aura is a dark red, I’m a red figure to her. You’re Melo, I’m assuming mellow yellow, so she sees you as a pale yellow form. Ever since what happened, she’s explained sight in her left eye as a repeating pattern mess of color whenever looking at someone. After being told what a Kaleidoscope is, she said that’s pretty much what it’s like.”

Hearing this, the somewhat absent gaze she had seen the young white haired woman had given to her and the other Guards earlier began to make more sense. “Ah...” This was new information that she knew she’d need at a later point. It was going to be a bit of a learning curve for how to handle things with Emma. “Maybe it’d be a good idea to get her some type of cover for her left eye then. Eye patch or something...”

Turning to look over the people filling the hallway, she could see some of them looking to the trio with curious eyes. A few even worried, one or two doubtful gazes from some older individuals. Gently grabbing onto Emma’s shoulders, she guided her back around the corner, gesturing for Peri to follow. “Just keep her here, I’ll be right back.”

The Komodo nodded before watching as Melo went into a light jog down the hallway to return where they had just come from. Carefully she helped Emma to lean against the wall after the form of the Guard disappeared ‘round the corner down the thinner hall. Afterward stepping close to the corner again and peeking around it to look over the civilians filling the area.

“E-Excuse me, miss?”

A young voice would register in the Komodo’s ears, guiding her attention down to see a boy standing next to her. A pair of small antlers growing atop his upturned head among dark brown hair and his bright blue eyes looking up at her. His arms were tucked ‘round behind his back. She stepped from the wall before lowering herself to her knees to be at a more equal level to him.

“Hey little man, what’s up?”

He seemed to be a little nervous with how he lowered his head a tad further than it already had to simply keep looking at her.

“Is that... Is she our new Queen?”

His question got Peri’s head turning to look to Emma. She could see the her gaze turned to focus to the boy beyond Peri’s form, hand now away from her left eye but the eye itself still closed. She turned her red eyes forward to the child again just after.

“Well. technically she’s not just yet, but she’s going to be soon. She’s just feeling a little under the weather right now, bit of a headache. You know what that’s like, right?” A soft smile came to her face seeing the boy nod in understanding.

“I- uh... M-My mommy helped me make a necklace... I wanted to make it for our new Queen after she told me about how she was ex-exhi-”

“Exiled?”

“Yeah, that word!” His hands finally came out from behind his back. In the one was a collection of a dozen small, smooth black stones that had been drilled through to fit them onto a braided silver and gold cord. None were exactly the same size as another, nor shape, but it seemed they were all sanded down to be smooth and rounded. Smaller stones being farther out and larger being closer to the center. “I collected these, whenever I found a black rock I picked it up. There isn’t a lot of them, but they always look so nice...”

Peri felt a familiar hand at her shoulder, looking up and back it was Emma. Shifting aside atop her knees, she gave enough space for her friend to get down beside her. Even offering a hand to support her as she took to her knees, a slight wince escaping putting as much weight as she did on her right. Still a little sore she guessed.

Now at eye level with the bright blue form of the boy, Emma could see an ever so subtle vibration to his form. She put on a gentle smile in hopes of calming his nerves

“What’s your name?”

“C-Cele.”

“Cele, very nice name. I would love to wear the necklace you’ve made for me, is there a clasp on it or is it a full loop?”

“My mommy tied the ends of the cords we used when we were done braiding it.”

“A loop, then, would you mind putting it on for me?” As she asked this of the young boy, she shifted closer to him and bowed her head forward. Closing her eyes she simply waited. It took a few seconds, but she soon felt his little hands brush against her hair some. A second more passing before the weight of the stones on the cord was fully present on the back of her neck. After a second more, she lifted her head, a hand moving to pull her tied hair out from beneath the braided cord then to fix it beneath her collar. With it fit proper into her outfit, she turned her attention to Cele again. The anxious vibrations from earlier now gone.

“Thank you, Cele. I’m glad to know there are such kind children like yourself from Ventus even after everything it’s people have been through.”

He was quiet a moment after before she could feel his arms suddenly around her neck. It was unexpected, but Emma returned the hug with a hand gently pressing to his upper back. The hug ending almost as quickly as it started, the boy ran back down the hallway to return to his mother who stood a ways down the hall. Taking her hand, he looked up to her and they began talking about something. Peri noticing a smile across the woman’s face as she crouched down to her son.

“Damn you handled that nicely.” Peri spoke up as she rose to her feet again.

“You did most of that though being the one to talk to him first.”

“The kid probably thought I was a body guard or something, so it was actually a pretty smart idea for him to come to me first. Gotta give the lil’ dude props for that.”

“Plus for working on this with his mother.” Em’s hand moving to let her fingers move over the stones now settled across her chest.

“So? How’re you feeling after doing your first Queenly act?”

“Queenly act?”

“Yeah! You just interacted with one of your Kingdom’s next generation, accepted a gift from them, praised them, and helped them feel better before sending them back to their guardian! You can’t see it, but that kid’s really happy and he’s even bouncing a little while telling his mother all about you and how it was to meet you.”

What her friend was saying... actually made a lot of sense to her. No matter what way she thought about it, what she just did was something a leader or hero would tend to do in stories. Stories both fake and very real. The fact she actually did something like that without realizing it, there was some confidence that filled her.

“I’m feeling like I can actually do this...”

“Hell yeah you can!”

Another pat of Peri’s hand to her arm like before occurred and the two of them laughed a little.

“Emma!”

The oh so familiar voice got the Qilin turning her head to look down the hallway behind her. Both the earthy aura of her father figure, the source of the call to her, and that of the pale yellow belonging to Melo were making their way to her and Peri. Poking at the Komodo’s leg got her attention, a hand lowering to help Emma return to her feet with her uncomfortable knee. Managing to get back up just as the two reached them.

“Hey, Umbir, where’d Roy go off to?” Peri called out to the man as he kept drawing closer to the two of them.

“Your brother’s talking with Captain Maho. I told him to show Roy where to go once they’re done so he can be present for whatever Emma’s got in mind.” He took a moment of pause to his speaking as he glanced over Emma’s new clothing. “Speaking of, It’s nice to see you on your feet again, Em’.” Her father figure spoke up, a gentle smile across his features.

“It’s nice to be on my feet.”

“Sir Dew bumped into me while I was on my way out of the Medical Bay.” Melo spoke up explaining his added presence. “I grabbed a cotton pad and some medical tape that we can use to cover your eye, Emma.”

“Emma?” Umbir’s tone a little confused turning to look to his underling. Such earning a shrug from the woman.

“She requested that I call her by her name and not using a title.”

Em’ could feel the man’s eyes fix on her, clearly looking for some confirmation. Nodding her head, the man did the same understanding the situation.

“Okay” Melo spoke up getting the Royal’s attention as she extended a hand with a small square between her fingers “hold this over your eye.”

The process took about a half minute. Emma taking the cotton pad and carefully holding it over her left eye, Melo unwrapped strips from the tape, tore them off, and secured it in place. One down the side of the square on the outer side of the Qilin’s face, one smaller piece across the corner by the top of her nose, and one last strip along the bottom above her cheek.

“There we go.” The woman turned her attention to Umbir again. “Could you return this to the Med-bay? I’ve been around the civilians more often than you have, I think it’ll be good for me to be with Emma while she’s around them.” Her hand holding the medical tape aside for him.

“Sure. If you three get to the catwalk before I catch up, I’ll meet you there.” Taking the roll from his underling, he turned and began back to the medical room of the Airship.

“What’s he talking about with a catwalk?” A confused Emma speaking up in question.

“There’s a catwalk in the room we’re heading to. High up, gets people in a noticeable spot, can let a voice carry through the room well. Best place to speak to your people and say whatever you need to.”

Emma nodded in understanding after it was explained to her what was meant.

Just before the Knight went to begin guiding the two again, she noticed something that got her to step closer and gently lift the necklace with a finger. “Did a little boy with antlers and blue eyes give this to you?”

Her question got a nodding confirmation from Emma.

“That’s actually really nice, Cele did good.”

“I know, right? Lil’ guy’s got a good eye and creative mind!”

“That he does. Gotta give him a high five while we pass by.” A smooth transition from the trained woman as she gestured for the two to follow her again. Stepping ‘round both to round the corner once more and begin down the crowded hallway. Looking ahead she could see little Cele being picked from the floor by his mother. Their eyes meeting and the trio sharing a smile as the distance between them was beginning to close.

Emma on the other hand, as she followed behind Melo, kept her had turning to look over the people around them. Seeing so many people, thankfully now only through her right eye, she was able to look over them more properly. Seeing so many whom appeared to be adults, others small and childish, a couple clearly elderly. So many auras of varying colors, but so many of them in different moods.

Some dimmed, others shivering, a few vibrating, a couple having shrunk even. Sadness, despair, anxiety, fear, so much negative emotions. Even if some of them seemed to be easing as they saw her. But a few brightened and glowing aura’s stood out to Emma’s sight. Most which she didn’t know, a lot being children whom she heard quietly asking various things about her to their guardians. Though one was a bright blue that she had met just a minute earlier.

As the three came up to Cele and his mother, Melo stretched out a hand and the boy quickly reacted. Reaching his own hand out, the two connected for a ‘high’ five. Afterward his attention quickly shifted to Emma, the Qilin could feel his gaze on her, and even if she couldn’t see it they shared a smile. Once it came Peri’s turn to pass by, he gave the kid a thumbs up and a wink. Waving with her tail as they passed and continued on.

It only took another minute of walking, passing by multiple more groups of people till they would fine themselves stepping into a much, much larger room. Within was the bulk of the Ventian civilians, dozens of them if not a hundred or so at bare minimum filling this room alone. There was still some space to move around and for some breathing room, but so many more people than what was within the halls leading here.

“Up this way.” Melo spoke up, stepping off to the side where, after a second, Emma’s aura would reveal a stair case as it began flowing through the room.

Turning her attention up the stairs, she quickly noticed a familiar aura, ever changing between seven colors and never staying as one of them for more than a few seconds at a time. Roy. His form bent forward, she supposed he was resting against the railing of what she guessed was the catwalk. Off to his side, however, stood two auras more. One she remembered from when she and Peri arrived in the canyon the other day, and one of a beige color. The red aura of the man from the canyon with his arm ‘round the smaller beige being.

“Hey there, Princess.” Roy spoke up as the trio got up onto the catwalk proper.

“Roy.” Emma greeted in return, making her way to hug him, feeling his arms return the embrace quickly.

“Hey, leave some room for me!” The sister of the Gaia duo stepping over to the two opening a space to welcome her into their hugging. As the three shared this moment, a breath of relaxation was taken by each. After which they broke apart, though Peri kept her arm round Roy’s shoulders as they set into a comfortable stance together.

The Qilin, however, would feel a tap at her shoulder. Looking to the source, it was Melo gesturing to step past her friends. Following her, the two stepped over closer to the two auras whom were unknown to the younger of the two. Seeing both of them move to turn to face her. Only now noticing that the beige shorter being had a pair of animalistic ears atop their head. Really, really tall ears.

“Emma, these are the NeverCondor’s Captains. Captain Maho Agna and his wife Captain Begi Vix.” The Guard introduced the two to the people to Emma. Gesturing first to the taller red form, then the shorter beige.

Before she could do much, she would see the man’s hand reach forward urging for a handshake, one which she took with a bow to her head. After which she saw that of the shorter of the pair bow her own head before hearing her speak up.

“It’s a pleasure to meat you, your Highness. Umbir’s been working pretty closely with us and he’s told us a lot about you. Actually kind of been looking forward to meeting the ‘Aura-Sighted Huntress’ for a bit now.”

“Please, just call me Emma. No need for titles between us. I’ve never really felt like I’d be able to fulfill the role, so this is all going to be new for me.”

“Well, if it’s going to be any bit similar to being a Captain, you can come to us if you need some advice at any time.” A masculine voice, she assumed Maho’s as she turned her attention to his aura form.

“Thank you, Captain. I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”

“Here.” Maho again, his arm moving, seemingly to retrieve something. “Whenever you’re ready, there’s a switch on the side of this headset that you can use to turn it on. Once you do, a microphone will fold out and you can speak into that. It will broadcast your voice through the entirety of the ship. Since the Ventian refugees we have on board are spread about the central area of the ship, this will let all of them hear you from where they are.”

The object held out to her, according to what Emma would see with her aura flowing over it, appeared to be a wireless thin headset. One side ending with a thinner stop she assumed would fit over or behind her left ear. The other with a wider and thicker section with a somewhat similar shaping as the other, just with an extra bit that she assumed would go inside her ear. Reaching to take it, she brought it to hold in both her hands across her front.

“Thank you, again Captain. For taking care of... my people... in their time of need. For bringing them to a safer place. I’m not absolutely sure about it, but I think I have an idea of a location where they can be housed for some time until we’re able to get some more proper housing set up. Just might take some time to get it ready for them.” A fairly obvious bit of nerves present as she said that second sentence.

“If you need any help with that, just let us know, alright? We’ve got some people who’re great with repairs and building, and there are actually quite a few of your people who’ve offered to help us with keeping the NeverCondor in good shape while they’ve been on board.”

“I’m glad they’ve been able to help with your travels since you’ve taken them in.

“Y’know” Begi again “for someone who’s unsure how well they’re going to do as a Queen, you’re already handling yourself pretty well just talking with us.”

“R-Really?” A somewhat disbelieving tone to Emma’s voice.

“Hey, that’s the kind of talk I’ve used to make some deals as Captain while Maho’s not been available before. There’s definitely going to be some hardships and some things to get used to, sure, but I think you’re going to do fine in the long run, Emma.”

A gentle smile came present to the Royal’s face hearing Begi’s words. “Thank you, Begi. It helps knowing so many people have been showing faith in me.”

Feeling a hand come to clasp onto her shoulder, Emma’s head turned to look for the source behind her. Seeing Umbir’s aura, she moved her own hand to hold over his. Now with her smile even brighter.

“We’ll have your back, Emma. You’re not going to be alone at any point in this stage of your life, I can promise you that.”

His words were a huge source of comfort to her in this moment on top of just him being present overall. Though after hearing him, her head turned and she looked down over the crowd beneath them. Slowly feeling her smile weaken some, her nerves getting to her as she saw many of them moving closer, to look up at them.

“Despite all the support, I don’t even know what to say to them. I’ve not been in Ventus for years, some of these people are children who were born after my exile so they don’t even know who I am beyond a false Princess. They’ve lost who was likely their best leader since Manus, and now they either turn to Samuel and hope for mercy, or they look to an uncertain young girl who was raised to be a maid for her own half-brother. The only other time I’ve spoken to even a fraction of this amount of people was at the Duke’s charity event when I announced I was still alive, but I had Octavius Tyrian with me at that time. My closest supporter and friend on the Noble front, and he’s not here right now...”

“Hey” her father figure called to her to earn her attention “you’re going to do wonderfully. Breathe in,” he himself inhaling, Emma mimicking him “breathe out,” both of them exhaling “You’ve got this.”

The short moment the two shared was something they tended to do when they were younger. Any time young little Emma had been panicking or upset for reasons related to her disabilities, Umbir would come to her aid. Getting to his knees in front of her, a gentle hand cupping her cheek, another holding her arm or hand. Speaking to her, calling out the nickname she had given her, and getting her attention before working through the process with her.

Both remembered this in the moment, taking one more to hug each other with a single arm.

“Thank you, Papa.”

“You’re welcome, Lil’ Filly. Take some time to think over your words, and when you’re ready, you’ve got the microphone.” His hand patted at her shoulder, leaving it a second after to step over by the Captains to chat with them a bit.

Now on her own among the group, Emma stepped over to the railing of the walkway. Both hands coming to rest atop it, headset in hand. She could feel so many people looking up to her in the moment. It actually surprised her a fair bit just how many people filled the lower section of the room. Combining the number she could guess was present to those in the one hallway she had her eye act up in, she was sure it was a minimum hundred people. The fact there was even more though, that actually got her nerves acting up some.

Still, even with the nerves present within her, she set her mind to attempt to piece together some collection of words. Something she thought would be fitting for a new leader to say to those she’d watch other. She couldn’t really come up with anything all that fast, it was definitely going to take a minute or so at least. Stepping back from the railing, she backed herself to the wall behind her to rest against that instead. Hoping that clearing her sight of the multitude of people below would help her think.

The Gaia siblings glanced over to the thinking Qilin for a second after seeing her form move as it did to the wall behind. Peri, out of the corner of her eye, noticing Melo looking to the Royal as well with some worry present in her gaze. A flick of her tail off to the side getting her attention, after which the Komodo mouthed “Just give her some time”, receiving a nod in understanding. Watching the Guard then turn to join Umbir and the two Captains for the time being. The two of them, however, moved to the corner at the top of the staircase that lead up to the catwalk which they stood on. Further from the rest of the group and a tad more private for them to talk without interrupting their friend.

Remembering back to her time at the Duke’s charity event and the speech she gave there, some ideas did come to mind. Though really thinking them over, the ideas she had back then were meant for high-society people that could’ve provided support for her. This time it was a bunch of people who were scared and unsure of what their future held for them. People who looked to her for some sense of comfort or safety. Two very different things, very different wordings needed.

Working her mind to think of some sort of answer, her eyes lowered to look to the headset her aura covered with each pulse of it. Taking in a lip to nibble at it as she thought, and her tail beginning to swat gently against the wall behind her.

A few minutes actually ended up passing as Emma had her mind hard at work. Not noticing the people having moved around her, her mind having tuned out their voices to focus her own inner vocals. Having switched which side of her lip was being nibbled on every couple seconds, at one point bringing both in and just pressing them together. By now, she felt like she had a couple points she wanted to get across, but there was a lack of proper wording to use to get them out. It was actually a little stressful being unable to piece together words like she was needing to.

Suddenly feeling a hand to her shoulder, the Qilin nearly jumped as her attention was forced back to the world beyond her mind. Blinking a couple times over, uncovered eye glanced about. Noting Roy absent from Peri’s side to her left, Melo standing in front of her and just a little toward the right, then Umbir leaning against the wall beside her with the aura forms of the two Captains and the Gaia Brother standing some distance away.

“Emma?” The woman before her calling her name, getting her eyes turning to her pale yellow aura again. “You alright?”

“Yeah... Yeah, I’m fine, I just... I know what I want to tell them, but I’ve not been able to think of words I should use to get those messages across...”

“Why not wing it then?” The extremely familiar of Umbir’s voice spoke up, earning her attention immediately. “Some of the better speeches that Manus or Cres ever gave were mostly just them going out and talking.”

“I don’t know if I should be inspired hearing that my biological father, who was apparently a Tyrant most of his reign, had good speeches because he just ‘winged them’...” A doubtful response from Emma’s end at his idea.

“I’m not saying you should be, Emma. I’m never going to tell you to be inspired by anything Manus ever did with how horrible a man he was. What I am saying is that you don’t necessarily need to plan out every last word that you say. Just take what you’ve got, figure out how to word it all as you do.” His shoulders rising a little during the end of his sentence. Relaxing just a second later.

Emma had her head nodding for a short bit as she thought over the idea. It would work, she had the somewhat vague idea of what she wanted to say in mind and she knew what exact points she wanted to make known. Winging it would likely be her best option over all wouldn’t it?

Some bit of her was feeling a little more sure of herself when thinking of taking the plunge that would begin her role as Queen. Of making her voice present for the Ventian people to hear.

She was still a little nervous, yes, but that was her worry that she’d be treated the way she was while leaving Ventus all those years ago. Plenty of the refugees were undoubtedly old enough to remember that day, some possibly having even been among the people whom had spit disgust her direction. as well.

Yet. really taking a second to think of it, there wasn’t exactly a reason for her to think of that... To think such a thing would be unavoidable. Especially not with how everything had been just days ago. At least she hoped that after what had happened it wouldn’t be that way...

“Y-Yeah... I think I can do this. Just give me another minute.” She could see the pale yellow head nodding in understanding. The woman then stepping away to lean over the railing of the catwalk and look to the people below. Something becoming clear to the Royal in this moment, Melo had a tail. A long tail with a rounded end that unfurled from ‘round the Guard’s waist to curl beside her leg.

Emma was a little surprised she hadn’t been able to notice the extra appendage on Melo before, but thinking over it for a second, she figured that she had kept it wrapped ‘round her waist till now. She’d have to ask what sub-species of Faunus the Knight is later. Too many things were much more important right now.

Thankfully it didn’t take much longer till she felt she was more ready to be able to do what she needed. Taking a deep breath, she moved herself away from the wall and stepped closer to the railing. Once more, she could feel the eyes of the people below fixing to her. Swallowing down the nerves that rose from the sense that most all of them were turning their eyes to her, she lifted the headset in her hands, fixing it atop her head and fitting the two sides so they felt right on her. One more breath, and with her hand rising to feel for the switch, she pushed it across it’s spot, and with a gentle click beside her ear, the microphone was now available.

A chime suddenly rang out in the room, three notes in a rising tone. The echo from beyond the room making it clear to her that this was, in fact, going across the ship. Bringing her hands to hold at the railing, she took one more breath.

“P-People of Ventus.” She could hear her own voice repeating, a somewhat electrical tone to it. “I am Emma Smoke Khromatos, Daughter of Manus Aescae Khromatos and Aligar Kaj. Due to my birth mother, Aligar, dying shortly after I was born, I was raised as a maid to the royal family under the name Smoke Kaj by the maid named Harley Nara. A woman who I assume a good sum of you know as she was a kind, wonderful woman that would frequently venture to the market along the main road for supplies. I would often be present with her, a young, scared little girl who rarely spoke when around people I didn’t know.”

She had to pause a second to breathe and calm herself, recalling her past having brought up various emotions which she hadn’t exactly expected. The breath she took to calm herself being just barely heard across the speaker system of the ship.

“Eventually... as I grew older, my Faunus trait began showing more and more. Thankfully with the maid outfit being as long as it was, it hid my tail for a long while. Though after a particular fall that I took, Queen Cress saw it. This ended up giving away my true identity. That I was a child of her King born out of wedlock. Angered by this, she ordered that I be exiled. That night I stole a weapon that was to be given to my half-brother Samuel the next week. Having been his training partner for a while under the watchful eye of Sir Umbir Dew, I had experience with the kind of weapon it was. I disguised it as a walking stick, and the next day I had it with me when I was escorted out of the Kingdom to the Solitas mainland to wander on my own.

One thing lead to another, I found myself on a boat to Sanus, and I traveled to Vale. Meeting with a teacher from the Hunter Academy of Vale, I expressed a wish I had developed during my travels to be able to keep other people safe during their own travels, as I had been helped by Hunters and Huntreses myself at various points on my own journey. Thankfully after displaying my capabilities with the Scythe and what little I could control of my Semblance, he was able to help me enroll in Beacon. I had to tell the headmaster my true name and my story, but he felt I had potential, so he let me in.

By the time I was one of the students and placed into a team fittingly called Team Empress, word had spread that a Princess had been exiled, and eventually killed by a Grimm. With the assistance of the son of a Noble family that supported me even back when word first got out of my situation, I was able to get in touch with some other members of Noble blood, eventually even being invited to a charity event held by the Duke of Coste. At this event, I spoke to settle the rumors of my death, and set word to be spread around that I still lived.

As Lady Melo Grove has revealed to me, Queen Cress had been trying to discover if I was still alive for a while before the Charity event. Wanting to contact me and try to welcome me back to Ventus with open arms to try and repair our relationship. I’m unsure, but she may have even been wanting to accept me as a proper member of the Royal family and an heir to the throne should Samuel have not been fit for it.

However, at it was soon after I attended the Charity event that the attack on Vale happened. Beacon Academy was swarmed by Grimm, some of Atlas’ technology went haywire and starting attacking students and civilians, and the Cross Continental Transmit System tower of Vale was destroyed. Communications were hindered across all Remnant because of this, and Cres was unable to contact me in any easy way like she might have been with the CCT system up. Instead, she decided to get in touch with some of the Noble families based in Sanus who supported me. One such pair of Noble families was the Baron and Baroness of Montai, and the Duke of Coste.

A couple months back, after you arrived in Sanus aboard the NeverCondor, Umbir dew came to find me, and alongside a close friend of mine, Octavius of the Tyrian family, he showed us video footage of the meeting that Cress had with the three Nobles. I could only hear it, but what I heard made it clear that the Queen wanted the best for me. Asking the Montais and the Duke to take care of and support me in her place should she die before she’s able to meet with me and fix things between us....

Sadly... neither her request or her wishes could possibly be fulfilled... Just as their meeting was ending, a cloaked woman was let into the Quartz Stage by guards loyal to Samuel. This woman rendered the fully armored Umbir Dew incapacitated, killed the Duke of Coste and the Montais, and after my Half Brother took the crown and left the building, she killed Queen Cres as well.

The sounds of gunfire and screams could be heard as background noise as Umbir began to recover control of his suit, and his body in turn. After retrieving the Necklace from around Cres’ neck and pocketing it, Umbir rushed outside, and the sound of raging flames and explosions became clear... The rest of this story you all know already.”

Once more she’d pause, feeling a lump in her throat remembering how she handled everything when it was revealed to her that such tragedy had happened to her home.

“Now... when he came to me, Umbir left the Queen’s necklace with me and for some time I avoided wearing it. He told me that I needed to come talk to all of you... To give you some sort of hope by becoming the next Queen and leading you through this difficult time.... But I was unable to bring myself to do so, I was scared, doubtful, and felt I couldn’t possibly fill in the space left by the late Queen Cres... So I never came.

I left all of you scared, unsure of what the future held for you, and those emotions grew more and more each day. Growing to the point it drew the attention of Grimm. Too much Grimm for the NeverCondor to have been able to handle without help. At the time, Umbir called for me, for my team and any others I could get to help.

Initially, me and my teammate and friend Peri Gaia intended to call more people to help us confront the Grimm Horde which was assaulting the Airship. But something happened.

I’m unsure how many of you know, but I was born blind. I am blind. Though at a point in my life, my aura began changing and adapting, interacting with my eyes in a way that removed it’s protective nature as a sort of default, and instead let me perceive auras. Right now, as I look at everyone in this room, I see you as a vast array of wonderful colors. Reds, blues, greens, yellows, even a couple more uncommon ones like grays and metallic shades.

Back when I arrived, what happened to me was something that happened once before, but I saw what I can only explain to be a ghost. An aura figure that didn’t belong to any living physical body. One of a ghastly white color. Last time I had encountered it, I entered into it’s embrace and I felt at peace. Like everything was right in the world. Though it also distracted me enough for an Ursa to find me, which proceeded to hit me into a tree, injuring my head and damaging my left eye further than it already was.

Seeing the ghostly aura again, I knew something would happen if I went to it. I was unsure whether it would be something good or if it would be bad, but I had to know. , With some help from a crew member that I’m told goes by the name of Sprig, I was able to get to the figure and once again feel it’s touch. The odd aura was calming, pleasant, and for a short time it felt there wasn’t any horde surrounding me. Yet in it’s embrace, something happened this time that didn’t before.

The being spoke to me. It’s words... I couldn’t understand them at all. Yet even still, there was some sense of understanding that came as I listened to it. I came to know what I had to do to help with the Horde, to have some confidence that I could lead you, and to know it’s identity. As crazy as it sounds... I’m not entirely sure of it myself, but I’m sure the name that it put into my mind was that of our first Queen. Of Giulia Khromatos. I’m unsure why Giulia came to me or how it’s even possible, but she was there, and even though she’s absent right now, I know she’s here watching over us.

Using the knowledge Giulia gave me, what seemed to be based on an experience she herself had with the Ventian People of her time, I was able to come up with an idea that would hopefully work to fend off enough of the horde. With a Dust Crystal in hand and Giulia’s help, I was able to use the Dust to stagger the Grimm horde, and my Semblance at a much stronger state than I have ever been able to in my time as a Huntress. The combination allowed me to successfully fend off what Grimm were more of a threat, block a large sum of the horde from being able to get to the NeverCondor should those closer to the ship be destroyed.

Though I do have to give thanks for my friend and teammate Peri Gaia and the man who’s been my Father Figure for my entire life, Umbir Dew. Without the two of them, there were multiple points during the encounter where I very well could’ve died. A couple where they almost did themselves”

Turning to look back to the Komodo and the Armored man one after the other, the two both shrugged after glancing to one another and stepping forward to her sides. Emma herself looking between the two before focusing to the crowd again. A smile now present.

“Without Peri and Umbir, my effort in settling the rumors of my death would’ve turned out to be for nothing.” She could hear Peri chuckling, thus making her laugh a little alongside her. Not really even caring it would be broadcast through the entire ship. Though she did calm herself a couple seconds later.

“After what happened two days ago, I ended up losing consciousness due to severe lack of aura. According to Umbir, I was out for a full twenty-four hours. Over this time, the NeverCondor’s crew was able to clear out as much Grimm as they needed to have the time necessary for them to launch and take to the skies safely. To get all of you to safety. But this is only temporary...

If I were to have left the instant I could instead of coming here to talk to all of you, it would’ve set the cycle in motion all over again. You would feel that same fear, despair, anxiety, and uncertainty still, possibly even worse, and eventually Grimm would’ve come again. The next time would’ve likely been worse, so much so than what this time was.

But it’s because I know that and because of the faith that I’ve received from the people beside me right now, and because of the kindness of a little boy among you who welcomed the idea of me as your Queen so easily that I stayed. That I am right here, right now, speaking as I am, and addressing every single refugee. What I am about to say, I may sound unsure of myself, but that’s not because of how I’m feeling right now or because of you. It’s because of doubts I had harbored all my life and the fact that, just like all of you, I am scared to step into this unknown territory.”

Pausing, Emma took a deep, audible breath to ready herself physically, mentally and emotionally for what she was about to say. A part of her unable to believe she was taking this step, that with all the negativity that had filled her whenever she thought of herself as a ruler, she was about to set herself to such a role. There was actually a want to hesitate, to stop right now and just run, but she knew she couldn’t. She had to do this.

“I, Emma Smoke Khromatos, twelfth generation of the Khromatos lineage, will not hide any longer. Starting today, I will take upon myself the role of Queen of Ventus. As shaky as the road ahead may be with having to learn and adapt, to the best of my ability I will lead you all to a future where we can return to Ventus and free it of the legacy of tyranny which Samuel continues in his fathers stead. It may take some time to get there, but I promise you, I will get us there. I just need your faith and your trust.”

The intercom system would fall silent for a short bit. Emma quieting herself hoping for some kind of reaction from the crowd. She could feel eyes leaving her and hear voices down below. For a few seconds she was feeling unsure of whether or not what she said was right. If the words she used didn’t work and the Ventian people wouldn’t support her. She could feel her tail curling ‘round her leg as worry began to settle in.

But then she heard something, cheering and clapping, all so faint from the hallway she and the others entered the room from. The quiet applaud soon growing louder while still muffled. Louder again, the opposite side now, just another second passing before the very room she was currently in began cheering up to her. Some merely clapping, others shouting words of support and positivity.

It actually took Emma by surprise a little bit to know they were accepting her. That after all of her self-doubting, people were able to believe the would be able to lead them. Finding herself choking up some just from the realization that so many people believed she could do what she was so sure she couldn’t for so long. The impact of the moment hitting her hard enough she could’ve sworn she couldn’t breathe.

Before she was able to say or do any more, she could feel a pressure against the side of the headset. Soon discovering it was Umbir shutting the headset off. Turning her head to him, she could see his hands raising with the aura-filled pendant necklace hanging between them. Moving it closer to her to set it ‘round her neck as his aura glowed bright with happiness.

Moving to hug him, Emma felt his arms quickly return the embrace and his voice speaking one simple line that sent tears rolling down her cheeks..

“I’m proud of you.”

#The Rise of a Ventian Queen #Emma Smoke Khromatos #Peri Gaia #Umbir Dew #bunchamunchafaunus

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glowstickhaloboy · 7 years

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AU where keith accompanies lance to get a tattoo

so like. lance expects pain. he knows that getting a tattoo will hurt, he just doesnt know how much.

so he brings keith along with him.

thats the thing. keith is lances rival (but also kinda his friend, so it isnt weird to ask him to watch lance get a tattoo) so lance would never n e v e r show weakness in front of keith, even if he was getting a needle repeatedly buzzed through his skin

(lance is not terrified of needles, but that doesnt make him their biggest fan)

he made his appointment like a week ago, and since he was doing something small, they were able to squeeze him in much faster than hed thought they would be able to. suddenly, he has to quickly muster up his bravery.

“are you okay, man?” asks keith as they walk into the shop. “you look kinda pale.”

“what? im fine. shut up. mind your own business.”

“pft.”

lance almost feels bad, but hes more distracted by the fact that hes about to permanently mark his skin with ink. like. forever.

and its a worthwhile tattoo, its his aunts name on his shoulder because she passed away last year, and a lot of the adults in lance’s family have the same tattoo and he wants to prove that he’s not a baby anymore, but its still a big commitment

lance and keith are taken to the back room, where a guy is literally in the process of getting a tattoo done, which should not be a surprise in a tattoo parlor, but still lance kinda stares like he cant believe hes really here

keith nudges him. “are you sure youre okay?” he asks again. its the genuine concern in his voice that steels lance’s resolve. bastard.

“i am fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine Keith, what part of that statement dont you understand??” he glances back at the dude with half a dragon on his back. gulps. “totally fine.”

“because if you arent sure about this,” keith continues, “you shouldnt do it.”

lance scoffs. “im sure, keith. dont be ridiculous. and since when did you care? besides, i already made a downpayment, so if i dont go through with it, im out 60 bucks.”

keith shrugs. “whatever you say.”

so eventually the guy getting dragon-ed leaves with more of a dragon, not all of it, because apparently huge tattoos are done in sessions (by hour how can someone be okay with getting needled for h o u r s at a time???) and the artist wipes down seemingly everything in the room with disinfectant. lance is grateful for this. it gives him plenty of time to bolster his courage again.

the artist explains everything through to lance, and he doesnt know why hes still nervous. he really doesnt want the needle to hurt. he doesnt want to regret the decision in three months. he doesnt want everyone to make a big deal out of him getting a tattoo.

he has to take off his shirt because the tattoo is going to be on the back of his shoulder. hes been using humor to cover up his freak out this entire time, but now if he laughs he’ll mess up the tattoo, so he just has to lay there, trying not to look at keith, and listen to the pandora station the shop has playing.

finally, just as its about to start, even though keith is there, lance admits to the artist, “the anticipation is going to be horrible if im not facing you-”

“relax, man,” the artist says. “im not gonna leave you hanging. I’ll tell you before i come at you.”

and lance is like. okay. you can do this. brave face time. keith is right there. time to impress him.

and then the needle starts buzzing and lances eyes must go as wide as saucers. keith hides a snicker behind his hand and lance glares at him harder than he glared at uncle ricardo when he went for the last quesadilla at lance’s sister’s wedding. “i dont see you getting stabbed over here, keith,” he says.

keith shrugs. “you chose this,” is all he says.

“damn right i did, and its important to me, so stop making fun of me, you nerd ass jerk face.”

keith sobers. “youre right, sorry.” hes still smiling, though.

and, okay, there is pain. theres definitely pain. but its honestly not horrible. thinking about what it was going to be was definitely worse than going through it. lance isnt a wimp, he finds a rhythm to breathe in and grits his teeth past the burn.

all in all, the tattoo does not take more than fifteen minutes. lance is actually surprised by how fast it goes. he stands when the artist tells him to and twists around to check out his back in the mirror.

his heart soars. it looks awesome. he may or may not tear up a little.

the artist helps lance bandage the tattoo and gives him instruction for aftercare, and lance returns the favor with a generous tip.

keith is holding out lance’s shirt, and lance flushed when he realizes that hes still naked from the waist up. he snatches his shirt and tugs it back on.

“it does look really good, man,” says keith.

lance is practically glowing. “it does, doesnt it?” he says. “my family’s going to love it.” and then softer, “i love it.”

keith punches lance’s arm lightly. “you should. and, for the record, i was surprised at how well you kept it together. except for gritting your teeth once, you really handled yourself.”

lance’s blush deepens. “were you watching that closely?” he asks, embarrassed.

keith doesnt say anything because they reach the door to the shop. he holds it open for lance. lance catches a whiff of the pizza place across the street.

“dude, i am starving. i havent been able to eat all day, i was so nervous. you wanna grab something to eat? my treat, since i dragged you all the way out there.”

keith--keith--smiles. “i’d like that,” he says.

once theyre seated inside, lance asks, “so come on then, if you were getting a tattoo, what would it be?”

“i already have one,” keith says, stone serious.

“really?! where??”

“on my foot. its a wolf’s head that says courage. its spelled out in the teeth.”

“no way! youre lying to me right now! i gotta see this!”

keith rolls his eyes. “obviously im lying lance. but if i had to get one... i dont know. i would want something personal. but i feel like i dont have enough pieces of my own life to pick something out yet.”

lance stares for a second. blinks. “keith, that is literally the saddest thing anyone has ever said to me. you arent waiting for your life to stumble back towards you! youre living your life right now. who you are right now is, well, who you are. and your life is what it is. even if youre not, i dont know, complete, youve still got to have things that are important to you.”

“yeah.” keith looks down at the table, folding a closed sugar packet. “i guess youre right.”

their pizza shows up. they dig in, and the conversation turns lighter. lance surprises himself by thinking how much hes enjoying spending time with keith. keith, of all people, makes lance happy. like he has any right to.

“alright,” keith says at last, his mouth sort of full. “it would be a massive cock over my heart.”

lance chokes. “KEITH.”

“because of how much i love cock, lance, you see, its whats most important to me-”

“WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO ME.”

keith breaks and starts laughing. “Shh youll get us kicked out!”

lance stifles his heart attack with great difficulty. because keith, who lance had the biggest hate-crush on in the history of hate-crushes, just told lance that he loves cock, and lance has one of those. and it is definitely getting the wrong idea from this conversation.

“i retract my question on the grounds that you are not taking this seriously,” says lance, blushing furiously.

keith nods. “thats fair.”

they recover quickly and finish their pizza. as theyre walking out, lance realizes that he really doesnt want their fun day together to end yet. he invites keith back to his house for video games or a movie or whatever, and hes sure hes going to be shut down. but keith, surprisingly, accepts.

halfway into the movie, keith breaks the stiff canal of distance lance placed between them on the couch to say, “lance. you know ive been hitting on you all day, right?”

lance chokes again even though there isnt anything in his mouth this time. “oh yeah?” he stammers. “well, m-maybe you’re so lousy at it i couldn’t even tell!” his voice sounds shrill. his face is burning. he cant look keith in the eyes.

“i thought that might be a possibility,” keith says coolly. “that’s why im telling you know: i have a crush on you, lance.”

“You cant just say stuff like that!” lance protests, waving his arms around defensively. “what am i supposed to say back to that?”

“hopefully, something like, ‘wow, me too, keith, today has been the most fun ever.’”

without looking at keith, lance slowly melts leftways on the couch, so he ends up pooled somewhere in keiths general area. “i had fun today,” he says. “i think youre hot. and nice. but thats all youre getting out of me.”

keith laughs, and lance decides he could stand to hear that again. all in all, not a bad day

#klance #laith #au #lance mcclain #keith kogane #keith x lance #klance au

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simplemlmsponsoring · 5 years

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New Post has been published on http://simplemlmsponsoring.com/attraction-marketing-formula/website-traffic/10-things-youll-only-understand-if-youre-a-domain-name-junkie/

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie

It’s an addiction like any other.

Ten or twenty bucks will scratch that itch, but the high never lasts, and before long you’re craving the next hit.

And the worst part? Nobody understands.

Except just maybe a fellow addict… “Hello. My name is Glen, and I’m a domain name junkie. My last domain purchase was three weeks, four days and seven hours ago.”

That’s how I’d introduce myself to the support group. (You know, the one that doesn’t exist yet.) I’d stand up and tell my story to a circle of fellow addicts, who’d nod their silent support.

My own addiction started with an act of vanity — I acquired the .COM version of my own name. That was 17 years ago, and owning a piece of Internet real estate was novel and exciting.

But that first domain registration, like the first high from an illicit drug, set me on the path to dependency.

The Telltale Signs of a Destructive Domain Habit

Like many addicts, I failed to acknowledge my problem until it was too late.

For years I told myself buying domains was just a harmless hobby. Something to do on evenings and weekends to help unwind after work. But over time my hobby became a powerful obsession.

I’d wake up each morning with a head full of new domain ideas and a burning desire to check their availability. At social occasions, I’d sneak out of the room to browse domain resale sites on my smartphone.

And despite plans to become a savvy domain “flipper,” I was selling almost none of the domains I bought, instead keeping them for personal use.

Eventually, my behavior became more erratic. I would buy any domains I could get my hands on — .ORGs, .COs, even .INFOs.

One Monday morning I hit rock bottom when I found a dozen GoDaddy receipts in my inbox for domains that had no practical purpose. Worse still, I couldn’t even remember buying them.

These days I’m on the road to recovery, and my mission is to help other addicts.

So take a careful look at the list below, and see if you recognize any of these destructive behaviors.

If so, you might just be a domain name junkie.

#1. You Just Can’t Quit GoDaddy

When you’re a domain name junkie, you struggle to think about anything else. You spend every idle moment brainstorming cool domains for your “someday, one day” online projects.

And once an idea has surfaced, you simply must know — is the name already taken? It doesn’t matter where you are, at work, at home, even in bed. You have to know.

When you discover the domain has already been taken (the good ones usually are), you start the search for viable alternatives.

And once you’ve dived down the rabbit hole, you can hardly crawl back out.

#2. You Lie About How Many Domains You Own

When you start collecting domains, it’s fun to log in to your account and delight in the breadth of your online kingdom.

But one day you reach the point where that list of domains is a painful reminder of a habit that’s out of control.

When your partner catches you buying yet another domain and casually asks, “How many is that now?” you pretend you don’t know, or deliberately lowball the true number.

But of course, lying is a telltale sign your casual hobby has turned into a serious problem.

#3. You’ve Started Dabbling in the Newer TLDs

In the beginning (well, 1985), just six top-level domains (TLDs): .COM, .ORG, .NET, .EDU, .GOV and .MIL existed, but that list has since snowballed.

Today we have more than 1,500 TLDs including .COFFEE, .LAWYER and .PORN.

On the one hand, domains are more plentiful than ever, and even if your dream .COM is long gone, you have hundreds of other options for snagging a snappy name.

On the other hand, who knows how much prestige these newer domains will hold over the longer term? Nobody wants to build their blog around the domain equivalent of a pet rock.

Some domain junkies won’t look beyond .COM, but if you’re exploring the murkier end of the market (.CM anyone?), it might be a sign that your hobby’s taking a worrying turn.

#4. You Tell Yourself You’re a “Domain Investor”

When your domain account lists tens (or even hundreds) of seemingly random domain purchases, there are two ways to explain it.

Either it’s the result of years of clueless impulse buying from a click-happy domain junkie with no more strategy than a half-blind pigeon pecking in the dirt.

Or it’s the culmination of a strategic acquisition campaign to build a valuable portfolio of undervalued digital assets for future sale.

Not surprisingly, most domain name “enthusiasts” favor the second version.

But deep down, if you suspect there’s very little method to your madness, it might be time to go cold turkey on domains.

#5. You Read the Thesaurus… for Fun

Not every domain you dream up will be available for registration. The truth is, most won’t.

That’s why a thesaurus is a domain collector’s best friend. In fact, uncovering snappy synonyms for your latest near-miss idea can be a lot of fun.

But if a thesaurus has become your favorite bedtime read (you know, just in case a cool domain idea jumps out) it may be time to seek professional help.

Because — wake up call! — it’s a reference book, not the latest Jack Reacher.

#6. You Secretly Stalk the Person Who Owns YourName.com

I was lucky. I grabbed my personal domain before anyone else could.

But if you have a popular birth name, or you were just too slow to the punch, your best options may already have gone. And that really stings.

Because when your name’s John Brown, telling people your treasured home on the Internet is TheRealJohnWBrown.info is plain embarrassing.

And that’s why you secretly stalk the person who nabbed your name online. You stake out their website, mentally mocking their pathetic efforts while waiting patiently for the right moment to pounce.

Because one day, they’ll forget to renew that domain and then, my friend, victory will be yours.

#7. You’ve Felt the Pain of “Lapsers Remorse”

Sometimes you see a domain for what it is — a dumb impulse purchase you’ll never be able to use or resell.

Maybe you tried to make money by listing it for sale at a couple of domain marketplaces but didn’t get the faintest sniff of interest.

So when it comes up for renewal, you do the sensible thing and let it lapse. You even feel good about your level-headed decision.

Weeks later, you casually check to see if anyone’s re-registered it and find it’s now listed on a “premium domains” site for $3,000!

Of course, just because it’s listed for thousands doesn’t mean it’s worth thousands.

But you can’t escape the feeling you let a valuable domain slip through your fingers.

#8. You’re Considering a Domain-Inspired Career Move

Sometimes you’ll stumble across a domain name that’s so good you simply have to own it… even though it’s totally unrelated to your work or hobbies.

The smart move would be to snag it and sell it for a profit to someone who can make good use of it. But like Gollum and that damned ring, you can’t quite bring yourself to part with it.

So your brain starts to explore a future possible world where you become the person for whom this is the perfect domain.

Sure it means throwing away years of hard-won experience and starting a blog in a new field.

But finding a domain this good must be a signal from the universe, right?

#9. You Lose Interest in Domains Moments After Buying Them

Once the buzz of snagging the name you’ve been lusting after subsides, a faint sense of regret can quickly follow.

“I can’t believe nobody bought this yet,” quickly turns to, “I can’t believe I just bought that.”

And the longer you hold onto a domain, the more money you rack up in wasted renewal fees.

The best way to take your mind off this painful predicament? Start scouting for your next domain name.

#10. You Have a Conspiracy Theory about Domain Registrars

Maybe this happened to you…

One day you check a new domain and find it available for the regular price. The next day it’s suddenly a “premium” domain, commanding several thousand dollars.

And you can’t help but wonder:

Did my search alert the registrar to the juicy potential of this previously unrecognized name?

You wouldn’t be alone in your suspicions. Type “do domain registrars” into Google and “steal domains?” is the top auto-complete suggestion.

Are registrars capable of dirty tricks like this? Maybe. It’s difficult to be sure.

But paranoid thoughts like these might be the first sign your harmless hobby is turning into a dangerous addiction.

Learn to Spot the Signs of Addiction Before It’s Too Late

Domain name addiction is real. And it can wreck your life if you don’t catch it in time.

If you suspect you might be addicted, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you visit domain registration sites several times a day? Do you lie to friends and family about how many domains you own? Do you often “binge” and buy multiple domains at once?

If so, you’re likely a domain name junkie.

The good news? With the right support, a full recovery is possible.

But you must take that crucial first step. Acknowledge your addiction.

So repeat after me:

“I’m a domain name junkie. And today’s the day I get help.”

About the Author: Glen Long is Smart Blogger’s operations guy and a recovering domain name junkie. He’s holding a “yard sale” of the best blogging, copywriting and content marketing domains that he’s collected over the years — go check it out.

The post 10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie appeared first on Smart Blogger.

Read more: smartblogger.com

#domain #domains #even #itrsquos #just #mdash #name #your #WEBSITE TRAFFIC

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gossipnetwork-blog · 6 years

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‘Outlander’ Season 3, Episode 11 Recap: A Deserted Island, a Wedding, and You’ll Never Think of Turtle Soup the Same Way

New Post has been published on http://gossip.network/outlander-season-3-episode-11-recap-a-deserted-island-a-wedding-and-youll-never-think-of-turtle-soup-the-same-way/

‘Outlander’ Season 3, Episode 11 Recap: A Deserted Island, a Wedding, and You’ll Never Think of Turtle Soup the Same Way

This article centers on Season 3, Episode 11 of Outlander, “Uncharted.” If you’re not yet caught up with the show, be warned: Spoilers abound.

The first half of this week’s episode is basically the worst episode of 18th-century Survivor ever. Or, maybe it’s more like a retelling of Castaway, with a coconut Wilson (stay tuned). When we last saw Claire, she was jumping into the ocean for love (hot sex); and this week finds her wandering around a seemingly deserted island with no food or water, the sun beating down on her without mercy, and experiencing basically all the worst parts of the Bible—again for love (hot sex). She has somehow floated past Grand Turk and landed on a mystery island. She walks around, panting, getting sunburned, and probably longing for 20th century Boston, eventually licking some leaves, desperate for fresh water. (Unfortunately, the leaves don’t have any water on them.) At one point, Claire stumbles upon some flint. In that moment, I understood that this episode was going to exist solely within the realm of the absurd. With that realization, I was thus able to enjoy it a lot more. Sometimes you simply have to surrender. This is a show where, whenever a character needs something, the universe will somehow provide after making them hurt for it a little or a lot. Let’s just go with it. Time travel is a thing, after all.

For around twenty minutes and three days, Claire stumbles around suffering. She makes a fire the first night with her remarkably found flint and falls asleep, hungry and thirsty and probably horny. When Claire wakes, she is covered in thousands of ants. She frantically brushes them off and her legs are completely jacked up—we’re talking Defcon Amputation. I lost my shit a little because I hate bugs and insects and I would have thrown myself in the ocean after such an incident. Claire wraps her legs with some fabric. Why? I do not know. Then she resumes her walkabout, heading into a jungle. There are scary sounds and it looks pretty sweltering and horrible, but Claire is surprisingly calm. Still no water to be found. When she falls asleep that second night, she is still deep in the jungle, nestled against a tree. This time when she wakes up there is a huge snake crawling across her and she lies there, perfectly still, making crazy eyes as the snake slithers across her and on to its original destination. Watching this episode was a trauma from which I will not soon recover.

On the third day, Claire is stumbling around, her legs raging with a scary ant infection, when she hears a man’s voice. And, of course, she passes right the fuck out. When she wakes up, she’s in a home of some kind, tied to the bed…but not in a sexy way. A woman named Mamacita (let us not even get into how problematic this is) speaks to Claire in Spanish, explaining that she has tied Claire up so she won’t scratch herself. Mamacita gives Claire a little water and Claire, understandably, passes right back out. She comes to again, and is being stared at by a Father Fogden, who is giddy to encounter another Englishperson in the middle of wherever. Claire quickly learns that she is on Santo Domingo and that Father Fogden is a bit nutty. He has a coconut, Coco, whom he consults on various matters and with whom he has lengthy and elaborate conversations. Every single time Fogden chatted with Coco, I wanted to shout, “WILSON!!!!!!” Also, he gets high on his own supply, so who knows what all is going on there.

I’ll just get Fogden’s story out of the way—he went to Cuba for mission work and fell in love with a woman named Ermenegilda. There was some drama, so they fled for Santo Domingo where, alas, Ermenegilda perished. Now Fogden lives with her mother, Mamacita, who doesn’t like having Claire around, worrying that Claire will take the place of her dead daughter in Fogden’s heart. Mamacita is none too subtle, calling Claire a whore and other feminist terms of endearment. This is the silliest bit of plot but, like I said, surrender.

Claire, for her part, just wants to get to Kingston to warn Jamie, but Fogden says Coco doesn’t approve and she must wait a week, two weeks, forever probably. Claire tries to strike up a conversation with Coco to change Fogden’s mind but it isn’t until Fogden realizes that Claire loves Jamie the way he loves dead Ermenegilda that he’s willing to let her go, maybe, if Coco approves. Mamacita, meanwhile, is doing everything she can to get Claire on her way.

There is some excitement at the Fogden household when Mamacita comes running up with a skinned goat’s head, as one does, talking about a Chinese sailor who spit-roasted Fogden’s beloved goat Arabella. Fogden gets a jar of horrible bugs and lets them loose on the goat head and explains the provenance of the bugs—a cave in Jamaica. Then Claire has a flashback to that one guy’s mentally ill sister from a few episodes back, who mentioned these same bugs. It’s just… a lot. Claire, always quick about her wits, realizes that the Chinese sailor is probably Willoughby, and that Jamie is far closer than she realized. With a little direction from Mamacita, Claire takes off running, the spirit of Jamie’s cock guiding her.

PHOTO: Casey Crafford/STARZ

Not at all far away, Jamie and Fergus are walking and talking on a beach, Jamie’s pectoral muscles bared and well defined. It quickly becomes apparent that the Porpoise ran into some trouble. Captain Raines and a lot of the crew are dead. The remaining crewmembers are repairing the ship’s mast and sails and Jamie is basically the boss of everyone. Fergus is worried that his dirty thoughts caused the accident but Jamie assures the younger man such is not the case.

When Claire makes it to the beach, Jamie and the crew are already back on the ship because the drama has to get a little more dramatic before it can be resolved. Will they reunite? Yes, they will. Claire takes a little mirror from her pocket and signals to the ship and Jamie spies her waving to him through a spyglass and then he’s rowing back to the beach and they are running into each other’s arms and the score is swelling to let us know that something romantically thrilling is happening. Guys, we know.

Jamie’s kinsmen, Lesley and Hayes, have a funny little chat where one says, “MacDoon’s wife turns up in the most unlikely places, does she not?” and the other says, “Aye, she just drops in out of nowhere.” It’s nice that the show is willing to acknowledge the absurdity of this couple’s globe-trotting and the wild convenience with which they show up where they are wanted at the most opportune times.

As Claire catches Jamie up on her adventures, Willoughby stitches a cut in her arm from running into a sharp branch as she ran to her beloved. She is worried that Jamie is going to be arrested in Jamaica, but Jamie is determined to find young Ian and assures Claire that everything is going to work out even though their lives are constantly a disaster.

To cheer everyone up, Jamie decides there should be a wedding and Claire certainly knows a preacher. They head back to Father Fogden for a wedding. Willoughby apologizes for killing Arabella, offers a rooster as penance, and then smokes up with the priest.

While Marsali is getting dressed, Claire helps lace her into her corset and they have something of a sex talk and become a bit friendlier. Marsali asks about birth control and Claire, surprisingly, says, “You don’t want a child?” It’s quite bizarre to see Claire being so old-fashioned and gender conforming, particularly when she is so sexually…spirited. The show had the chance to do something really interesting with this scene and they fell short, though in the end Claire does tell Marsali she’ll help her stay child-free so she and Fergus can have lots of newlywed sex without worrying about a wee bairn until they are ready.

PHOTO: David Bloomer/STARZ

The wedding ceremony itself is charming and quite sweet; true to who Fergus and Marsali are. When Fogden asks Fergus for his last name, it is Jamie who speaks up and says he is “Fergus Claudel Fraser.” Awww, shucks. Back on the Porpoise, Claire eats some turtle soup like it’s the last meal on earth. When Jamie kisses her, he realizes his wife has a fever. Claire says not to worry because she has her handy future antibiotics. She’s perhaps a bit drunk and mad with fever, but when it comes time for Jamie to help out and give Claire a shot in her ass (heh), he wusses out. Claire gives herself the shot because a woman’s work is never done.

With that taken care of, feverish Claire is feeling randy. She eats some more turtle soup and notes, “Turtle is supposed to be an aphrodisiac.” Now the Frasers are really feeling each other. The flirting begins in earnest, with Jamie telling Claire, “Your nipples staring me in the eyes, the size of cherries.” The size of cherries? But in Jamie’s brogue, it actually sounds pretty sexy. At first, Jamie protests coyly about not taking advantage of Claire in her inebriated feverish state but before long they are making out and stripping and having incredibly hot sex, while standing up. Finally, FINALLY, in the waning moments of the episode, Outlander gets to the good stuff. Hopefully, next week feature even more hot sex on a ship in the Caribbean. Fingers crossed!

Roxane Gay is the author of Bad Feminist, Difficult Women, and most recently, Hunger. She is also the author of World of Wakanda for Marvel and a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times.

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hellish-wonderland · 4 years

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actually kinda happy

lately ive been getting my shit together, and that includes my eating habits. ive been struggling with this for years now - i lost a ton of weight really quickly a couple years ago after struggling to lose it for a little while, and that’s probably the happiest ive been in my life. but a few months later i started gaining it all back, and things went to shit. i developed bulimia instead, and the weight just kept coming because my days of fasting wasn’t enough to cancel out my huge binges. this past year, ive been struggling between binging, recovering, starving, you probably get the idea. but since quarantine started, i became determined to get my shit together. i started watching a ton of health/lifestyle youtubers, and decided to take some of their advice. so many of them mentioned how starving yourself isn’t good in the long run because youll gain everything back from eventually binging, whether thats days, months, or years later. normally i wouldve rolled my eyes at this, but since i experienced this first hand, i finally tried a new tactic. i had been exercising a ton when quarantine started, but still on a binge purge cycle and unable to lose weight. until recently. i made my calorie limit 900 cals a day, which is much higher than my ideal ~400 cals a day. i forced myself to eat a little bit more to be around 800 cals a day, even if a big part of me was telling me ill lose more if i dont have those extra 200 cals. but honestly, eating those ~800 cals a day vs my attempt at ~400 cals a day has proven so much more successful. its only been a couple weeks, but my binging has reduced so much its insane. im finally starting to lose the weight, despite not working out as intensely as i used to. my cravings arent nearly as bad because im more willing to indulge them (though ive trained myself to crave healthy foods now which definitely helps). i dont have that sense of helplessness and despair when i see food i want but cant have. its insane to me how much my mental health has improved, it kind of feels like a medium between recovery and having an ed if that makes sense?? there are other things that play into my boosted mental health, but my eating habits are definitely a huge factor. when people say consistency is key and adding a couple hundred calories may seem scary but is worth it, theyre 100% correct. sorry that was a long ass text, i dont really expect anyone to read this but i just wanted to share.

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astoldbybeccaemily · 4 years

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In honor of the passing of Valentine’s Day i would just like to point out how messed up our generation is with love. We can spend one day giving our all to our love interest but we should be spending everyday like that. Since when do we need a holiday to show someone how we feel?

Dating this generation is so messed up. It’s hard to find a genuine connection as is and now there are all these mind games people play.

It all starts by playing peek a boo. Everyone is too afraid to be vulnerable so once they show their true face they go back to hiding. Trying not to give away too much of themselves.

Dating is an endless game of tag except no one knows who’s it. We all just wait for the other person to reach out and put in the effort because we are too busy running away from what we truly want. So we run and run waiting for that text, waiting for the call, waiting for a sign they are interested. Sometimes you get lucky and find that person who can keep up with you but most of us are out here with asthma . We are too tired to catch you. We try for a bit but we are barely breathing as is. We haven’t even recovered from our last game of tag. That won’t stop us though. We will run after you until we are gasping for air. Eventually it will get too much for our lungs and we will collapse but all youll see is someone who didn’t put in the effort

Sometimes it’s like the game of Jenga, we each take turns pulling out the best parts of each other and ignoring the more unstable qualities of our partners. We take all the good qualities and put them at the top of our focus, but if you ignore all the bad, things start to get unstable and the relationship falls. Instead of rebuilding the tower we get angry and find a new game to play.

When did showing you care become negative? Why is texting someone back right away seen as desperate? Why do we wait for someone to text us first when we really want to talk to them? Why do we play these games instead of going after what we want?

Just like pin the tail on the donkey. Every time We play this game of love We come out of it feeling like an ass

Then there are some of us who never really saw dating as a game. We are just looking for a connection. We ask the questions we want to know. We give back honest answers. We are up front and direct and we are not afraid of our feelings. Life and love are scary but we need to stop being afraid of showing our feelings. Stop playing games and just be honest, be you. Go after what you want. Win the prize without playing games.

#love quotes #love #go after what you want #rant

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erraticfairy · 5 years

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Podcast: How to Stay on Track to Make Lasting Change

When it comes to making big changes in our lives, most of us fail. Oh, the change might stick for a while, but eventually we go back to our unchanged selves. Why is that? Why can’t we maintain change for the long-term? In this episode, you’ll learn different reasons for this, but even better, how to make the long-term changes stick.

Subscribe to Our Show! And Remember to Review Us!

About Our Guest

Eric Zimmer is a dad, serial entrepreneur, podcast host, behavior coach, and author. He is endlessly inspired by the quest for a greater understanding of how our minds work and how to intentionally create the lives we want to live. At 24, Eric was homeless, addicted to heroin, and facing long jail sentences. In the years since, he has found a way to recover from addiction and build a life worth living for himself.

He currently hosts the award-winning podcast, The One You Feed, based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us. With over 200 episodes and over 10 million downloads, the show features conversations with experts across many fields of study about how to create a life worth living. In addition to producing the show, Eric works as a behavior coach and has done so for the past 20 years. He has coached hundreds of people from around the world to make real, lasting change in their lives.

www.oneyoufeed.net

www.ericzimmer.coach

[email protected]

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LASTING CHANGE SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Narrator 1: Welcome to the Psych Central show, where each episode presents an in-depth look at issues from the field of psychology and mental health – with host Gabe Howard and co-host Vincent M. Wales.

Gabe Howard: Hello everybody and welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Show podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and with me as always is Vincent M. Wales. And this week we are going to be speaking with Eric Zimmer. He’s a dad a serial entrepreneur behavior coach and an author and he’s gonna tell us really about a lot of things and I don’t want to read your bio, Eric. Eric, welcome to the show.

Eric Zimmer: Thank you for having me on.

Gabe Howard: Eric, of course I have your entire bio in front of me but, rather than read it off, can you introduce yourself to our audience please?

Eric Zimmer: Well, what I do these days is I am the host of The One You Feed podcast which has been out for about five years and we we do you know kind of similar to you guys. We talk with lots of different people about what it means to live a good life. And so I’ve been doing that for about five years. We’ve been listened to I think something like 15 million times. And so that’s been good. And then I also do behavioral coaching with people. And before that, I’ve got a long history of various entrepreneurial things like a software startup company. I started a solar energy company. I’ve got a son who is 20 and is at college and as I mentioned to you guys sort of in the beginning, and I’ve also got a mother in law who has Alzheimer’s that we’re taking care of. So that’s a big big part of my life these days. But it’s kind of a brief overview.

Vincent M. Wales: I want to tell you I love the title of your podcast, The One You Feed. Can you share with our listeners where that came from because it’s one of my favorite stories?

Eric Zimmer: Sure. It’s an old parable. Nobody really knows where it comes from. Some people insist it’s an old Cherokee story, other people insist it’s not a Cherokee story, so I don’t I have not been able to find anybody who really can prove one way or the other. But yeah it’s an old parable and in the parable, there’s a grandfather who’s talking with his grandson. He says, in life there are two wolves inside of us that are always a battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other’s a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandson stops and he thinks about it for a second. He looks up at his grandfather and says, Grandfather< which one wins? And the grandfather says, the one you feed.

Vincent M. Wales: That’s beautiful.

Eric Zimmer: So that’s the parable. And I use it to kick off every episode. I just you know I start off by asking my guests kind of what that parable means to them in their lives and in the work that they do.

Vincent M. Wales: I love that. Awesome.

Gabe Howard: And of course, you’re from Columbus, Ohio, which is awesome because I’m from Columbus, Ohio and usually we’re interviewing people from all over the country and not in my back door. But what’s really cool is many years ago, you had the band Watershed on your podcast and I love the band Watershed. And besides people who know me or who are from Columbus, they’ve never heard of them, so from one watershed fan to the other, it’s great talking to you.

Eric Zimmer: Yep. A local Columbus band that was great and still is when they play sometimes.

Gabe Howard: Yeah they don’t play a lot because they got old and had kids.

Eric Zimmer: Yup, yup, yup.

Gabe Howard: You know, when you say serial entrepreneur, you know I’m very interested in that because you know most people say, I’ve started a business or I’m an entrepreneur, but you say serial entrepreneur because, well you’ve started a lot of businesses. Can you explain what serial entrepreneur means to you?

Vincent M. Wales: It means he can make cereal.

Eric Zimmer: Exactly, yes. You know, off-brand Frosted Flakes and Cocoa Puffs and… No, I think by serial, it just means that yeah it’s I’ve been in one sort of startup business after the other for most of my career. So that’s where most of my career has been spent is in, you know very small startup companies that are very entrepreneurial by the nature of them being pretty new and small, although some of them got big, but they started small.

Gabe Howard: And that sort of… you like to do this. I mean that’s like the crux of your career. You like to take small things and help start them, make them bigger, you like to turn ideas into substance. This is what being a behavior coach is. I mean, actually explain that better because I’m just butchering it to hell.

Eric Zimmer: Well I do love, I do love the early stages of a company. You know I love sort of yeah like you said, they’re building something, taking an idea getting it out there. And I love that really, in early stage companies, you do a little bit of everything. So your job description is very broad and very wide. And so that’s always suited me well. I do a fair number of things pretty well. And so that always suited me. And so yeah, I would do one and then the company would get about to the size where it started needing specialization, where it was more operational than it was you know building, and then you know for both the company and me it wasn’t usually the best fit at that point and it would be better for me to go on and do something.

Vincent M. Wales: So, Eric, I understand that you had in your in your history some issues with alcohol and other substances could you talk about that for a bit?

Eric Zimmer: Sure. At the age of 24, I was essentially a homeless heroin addict. I was really sick. I had hepatitis C, I weighed about 100 pounds. I had a lot of potential jail time staring me in the face. And so, at the age of 24, I got sober, recovered from heroin. I stayed sober about eight years and then I drank again for a few years and now I’ve been back sober again for about 13 years, so I’ve got sort of two distinct stories of getting sober.

Gabe Howard: And you also struggled with depression, if I’m not mistaken.

Eric Zimmer: Yeah. And you know I never know whether to say I still struggle with it or not. I don’t really know. It is not the prominent factor of my life like it was for a long time. But you know it’s still sort of there. I think I manage it way way better than I did and it’s far less of a heavy thing in my life. But I think it’s still something that I work with. It’s a feature of my inner landscape.

Gabe Howard: This is a constant discussion in mental health circles. You know I live with bipolar disorder and I say I’m in recovery from bipolar disorder, but I still have bipolar disorder, I still have to manage it. I still spend some part of my day worried about it. So am I in recovery with? Am I in from? Some people are like well there’s no cure or so recovery is the wrong word.

Eric Zimmer: Yeah.

Gabe Howard: It is a difficult thing to try to manage because you don’t want to wander around and tell everybody that you’re depressed because then people might try to render care or aid and you’re just trying to live your life. But by the same token you don’t want to tell people that you’re fine because this is something that you… it’s impacted your life in many ways.

Eric Zimmer: Yeah you know I think for me with the show, you know I’m talking about these kind of topics all the time and I’m pretty open about it on the show and in other shows I go on to just because there’s lots of people out there that also struggle with it and and wrestle with it. And yeah I agree with you. I don’t know, like I said, I don’t know whether it’s am I recovered, am I in recovery, is it gone? And what’s remainder is sort of a natural melancholy temperament. I don’t know any of those answers. But I do know that the things that I’ve done to treat depression, most of them are things that I continue to do today, because they seem to keep depression at bay and they’re just kind of all around good for my mood state.

Gabe Howard: It is a common discussion that people have. Where does mental illness end and my personality begin? When is it a mental health issue versus a mental illness? When is it just an emotion? When is it… you know it’s why podcasts like ours can really exist, because there’s a lot of discussion and varying opinions on the subject. So thank you for lending your voice to the landscape. It’s very much important.

Eric Zimmer: You’re welcome.

Vincent M. Wales: So now Eric, how did your history with alcohol and drugs… how did that lead to what you do today? How did it impact your life and what was the process there?

Eric Zimmer: So like I said originally, I got sober at 24, stayed sober about eight years, got sober again, and I think that in my case, recovery from addiction and alcoholism took sort of a wholesale change in the way I viewed the world and how I moved in it. And it made me take my internal state much more seriously and really pay attention to what’s happening there and then also you know look at how am I interacting with others and connecting with others. And so I’ve kind of always had that. And that drove an interest in me in all things mental health related, spirituality related. And so that was kind of always there. And then about five years ago, five and a half years ago at this point, I had a solar energy company that I eventually just decided I didn’t… I was going to shut it down. And so I shut it down and I was doing some consulting work and I was just kind of bored. You know I didn’t really have like a thing that was, that I was really into and passionate about and love. And so the idea to do this podcast just kind of hit me. And it’s turned out to be wonderful. I started it for a couple reasons. Like I said, I started it because I was bored. I also started it because what I realized was that my mind, when it’s left to its own devices, heads towards less than optimal places. And so I wanted to sort of feed the good wolf in my own life. And I thought you know what if I interview people every week and then I read their book to prepare for the interview like I’ll be immersed in and swimming in these ideas, these concepts,these topics, and it’ll help me just overall do better. And that turned out to be totally true. And my best friend was an audio engineer and I thought that by doing it I get to spend more time with him, which turned out to be very true.

Vincent M. Wales: Well that’s convenient.

Gabe Howard: That is really cool. And you know it’s not unlike it’s not unlike the story of the Psych Central Show. On our hundredth episode, we sort of talked about how this show came to be and there’s a lot of similarities there. I ran my mouth. Next thing you know I thought hey I can spend more time with my good friend, which is Vin. And here we are. And we’re glad that we did because we definitely need to stay out of trouble for sure.

Eric Zimmer: I agree. I understand that that motivation.

Gabe Howard: We’re going to step away for 30 seconds to hear from our sponsor. We’ll be right back.

Narrator 2: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com, secure, convenient and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Vincent M. Wales: Welcome back everyone. We’re here with Eric Zimmer talking about making lasting change in our lives. So Eric, tell us about how this became your coaching work. You say it’s a behavior coach. Is that correct?

Eric Zimmer: Yeah, you know it started a couple years into the podcast and I started having listeners ask me if I ever did any one-on-one work with people. And I originally you know I initially said no I don’t. You know it’s not really something I’ve done. But I kept getting people asking me and I thought you know what? Let me give this a try. Let me see what it’s like to coach people. And you know about partway through the first call, it hit me that I had done this hundreds of times in recovery by being the sponsor to people. You know I had done that over and over and over and so I really realized it was something that I really felt like I knew how to do. And by behavior coach, what I generally mean by that is that it’s very difficult to… We all know you can’t just change your emotion, you can’t just grab your emotion and move it where you want it to be. And we can certainly work with thoughts, but some thoughts are what they are. But the thing that we seem to have the most control over is our behavior. You know there’s an old line I heard early in my recovery time, which is, sometimes you can’t think your way into right action. You’ve got to act your way in the right thinking. And so I would say that that line sort of underlies the whole idea of behavior coaching, that there are behaviors that we can do. There are activities that we can do that move us in the direction of our goals and our dreams. And also, there are behaviors and actions we can do that help our emotional and mental states of mind also. So that’s really where I focus is on what what behaviors are we going to change and how do we change them? I think we all have some idea like, well you know what? I know exercise is good for my mental and emotional health and I hear that eating right is good and meditation might be good. But a lot of us struggle to make any kind of lasting change with those things or to really stick with them. So that’s a lot of what I focus on with people is how do you make the change in your life you want to make? From things like I just described exercise or eating right to people who are trying to finish a dissertation or I’ve helped people finish novels or people who are trying to start businesses. If there’s a behavior, if there’s something you want to change, that’s kind of what I think I’m an expert at.

Vincent M. Wales: Now a lot of us have experience with making changes, but just not being able to keep at it. You know this is… we’re recording this in late January so recently it was all, you know, New Year’s resolution times, right? People are going to make their insistence on eating better and exercising and yet, come March, they’re not doing it. So what is a way that we can make the change going over the long term?

Eric Zimmer: So one of the things that happens to a lot of us is we we have this narrative in our head that says you know what? I’m the kind of person that just can’t stick with anything or I’m the kind of person who can never finish anything. So we start to make a change and it’s going along well. And then like I mentioned something knocks this off track, our kids get sick, our dog needs to go to the vet, we get sick, and then all of a sudden that voice in our head starts to say again to us, see? I knew you couldn’t stick with it, I knew you wouldn’t stick with it. And then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So a lot of it is about really learning how to get back on track quickly. Some of it is learning how to adjust as your life changes. So you might have a routine that’s going really well, but you start traveling for work. So how do you keep the routine going while you travel for work, or you enter a busy season at work or it’s summer and the kids are out of school. It’s about being able to sort of adjust to what you’re doing, how much you’re doing, when you’re doing it, how you’re doing it. All of that to kind of adjust as life changes, because the same routine usually won’t work for people forever and ever and ever. It needs to be adjustable. But what happens is that when life starts to move around in ways we don’t expect, we get off track and we tend to give up. So that’s one really big one is to just get back on track as soon as possible. There’s another one that’s really important that I sort of call… the analogy I make is like don’t kill the plant, right? So if you think of your habit as like a plant, there are times that when you’re at home you can water the plant and you can take good care of it and you talk to it if that’s your thing, right? But then inevitably something happens. You go out of town for a week. When you go out of town for a week, all you’re really after you might ask your mom to come by and water the plant once a week. You just don’t want to kill the plant. And sometimes habits are this way. If you get a really busy week, what we want to do is not kill the habit. So if your routine is to go the gym every day for an hour, but the week just is really really busy, you’re better off to go to the gym every day for 10 minutes. You know reduce the scope, stick to the schedule is what well-known habits person says, because that keeps the habit alive. And that’s really the key is how do you just keep the habit alive so that when circumstances are better you can kind of get back to the full version of the habit? So those are just some of the ways to get through when things change a lot and how to really make a habit stick long term.

Gabe Howard: I really like all of that. I can relate to a lot of it even in my own life and in my own recovery and you know from personal goals to business goals, that all resonates and makes a lot of sense. So I’m about to throw a wrench in it and ask what happens when somebody like me gets off track? Because I know I’m going to get off track. So what are the strategies to get back on track?

Eric Zimmer: I think that the most important is just to almost expect that that’s going to happen. Right? Because if you expect that getting off track is part of the process, if you recognize that that’s going to happen to most everybody at some point or other, then it’s a lot easier to get back on track because you don’t assign a whole lot of moral judgment to it. You don’t think it says something about you. You don’t do what I said just a minute ago, which is you start telling yourself, see I knew I couldn’t do it. You just know like, oh yeah that happens sometimes. I’m going to get back on. The other thing you can do that can be really helpful is if you get off track, is it’s often important to start the habit smaller than it was. So let’s take exercise as an example. Maybe you’re used to exercising for an hour a day, right? And you get off track for a couple of weeks or you get off track even for a month. A lot of times we try and pick right back up where we were and often that is too difficult. And so a lot of times what can be helpful is to start doing something that’s a little bit easier. A smaller version of it and build up to it. And that’s often one of the key ways to start a good habit is start smaller than you think you need to do. Find something that you could do every day and succeed at to build a habit. And so the same thing can happen if you get off track. Often it’s helpful to sort of step back a little bit. So I like to meditate you know 20 to 40 minutes a day, but there have been some times over the last couple of years where I’ll get off track and I’ll miss some days of meditation and what I’ll find is that all of a sudden jumping back up to 40 minutes feels like a lot. So I’ll give myself permission to start back over at 10 minutes a day and build my way back up. So that can be a way to get back on track when it feels really hard to get started again.

Vincent M. Wales: So what if you’ve been off track for say, I dunno, 20 years? How small can I start?

Eric Zimmer: [laughs] Joking aside, as absolutely small as you need to. So let’s… I’ll use meditation again, right? I have been an on again off again meditator since I was 18 years old. That was a long time ago, right? And so I would try and meditate for 30 minutes a day. I pick up a book and it’d say you should meditate for 30 minutes a day. So I would try and meditate for 30 minutes a day. And in my particular case, sitting down to meditate is kind of like inviting the circus to come to town and 30 minutes was too long. It was too hard. So I would manage to gut it out for a few days or a few weeks, but eventually I would stop. And so finally about five years ago, I decided that I was going to meditate for three minutes a day, but I was going to do it every single day. That was the tradeoff. I’m not going to try and do 30 minutes; I’m going to do three, but I’m going to do it every day. And from there, I was able to build to four to five… you know finally up to 20, 30, 40 minutes by slowly slowly building up, but in the beginning you look at three minutes you go, that’s ridiculous. Nobody is going to get any benefit out of three minutes of meditation or you know if you’re trying to get in good shape you know say, well I’m not going to get any benefit out of taking a walk around the block. But what you’re doing is you’re building the habit, you’re beginning to put that structure in place you’re beginning to feel better about yourself and you’re beginning to build some momentum. So seriously, no amount is too small. When I work with a client, if they’re struggling, like if we if we try and build a habit and it’s not taking, we will just keep trying a smaller and smaller amount until they are able to do it. Consistently and frequently. And then we’ll build from there. If we go too far, too fast, it’s often difficult to do. And there’s a really good reason for all this. There’s actual a behavioral model out there that a Stanford professor B.J. Fogg developed, and I’m not going to go into it, but it lays it out in sort of a graphic where you can see very clearly why that principle works.

Gabe Howard: Eric, I like that you use conventional wisdom, facts, and just support in order to help people get to where they’re going. You know, so many people want to focus you know just on the goal or just on the science or just on the hugging and while all of those things are important, they often you know, we kind of need to put them all together. I mean I need somebody to tell me what to do just as much as I need somebody to tell me how I can do it when it comes to certain things in our lives and I think that’s one of the things that has made you a successful coach and no doubt why people listen to your podcast.

Eric Zimmer: Yeah I think you’re absolutely right. I love when I start to see modern science back up something that comes from you know more of an ancient tradition and you sort of see both those things agreeing. I always feel like that’s like… I like that because it’s so he gives me reinforcement from two sources. And I also agree with you, I think that all of us are told over and over and over and over what we need to do, but a lot of the problem is in actually doing it.

Vincent M. Wales: Yes indeed.

Gabe Howard: Hear hear. So Eric, please plug your podcast one more time. I am assuming that it can be found on every single podcast player imaginable, but does it have a web site?

Eric Zimmer: It does. The podcast is called The One You Feed. So like you said, search any podcast player or oneyoufeed.net.

Vincent M. Wales: Eric, thanks for being on the show. This was very informative and we really appreciate you taking the time to be with us.

Eric Zimmer: Thank you so much for having me on. I really enjoy talking with both of you.

Gabe Howard: You’re very welcome and Vin, I think I know what you might be getting for your birthday. Eric sells gift certificates.

Vincent M. Wales: Ahhhh…

Gabe Howard: Thank you Eric for being here and thank you everyone for tuning in. And remember you can get one week of free, convenient, affordable, private, online counselling anytime, anywhere by visiting betterhelp.com/psychcentral. We’ll see everybody next week.

Narrator 1: Thank you for listening to the Psych Central Show. Please rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes or wherever you found this podcast. We encourage you to share our show on social media and with friends and family. Previous episodes can be found at PsychCentral.com/show. PsychCentral.com is the internet’s oldest and largest independent mental health website. Psych Central is overseen by Dr. John Grohol, a mental health expert and one of the pioneering leaders in online mental health. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who travels nationally. You can find more information on Gabe at GabeHoward.com. Our co-host, Vincent M. Wales, is a trained suicide prevention crisis counselor and author of several award-winning speculative fiction novels. You can learn more about Vincent at VincentMWales.com. If you have feedback about the show, please email [email protected].

About The Psych Central Show Podcast Hosts

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. He is also one of the co-hosts of the popular show, A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. As a speaker, he travels nationally and is available to make your event stand out. To work with Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Vincent M. Wales is a former suicide prevention counselor who lives with persistent depressive disorder. He is also the author of several award-winning novels and creator of the costumed hero, Dynamistress. Visit his websites at www.vincentmwales.com and www.dynamistress.com.

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