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#emotional devastation of having a stillbirth or having one in your close family
bloodymarvellous247 · 10 months
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coreastories · 4 years
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Modern Royals: The queen bares her heart about her new project, her queenship, and the king
This author is very honored (and tickled) to be invited to the palace for a private tete-a-tete with the queen
This isn’t exclusive, but I did get a note from The Royal Public Affairs Office that I’m the first in the lineup of the press junket, so yes, I screamed in the powder room
Also in the note: As long as I interview the queen about her project, I can ask other questions I want. They’re confident that I would remain respectful of Her Majesty’s privacy.
Well! They knew how to rein me in, didn’t they?
The October air was crisp and cold that morning but the thought of meeting the queen warmed me up. We were offered breakfast upon arrival. My team ate. I couldn’t. I was too excited. You remember that I’ve been dreaming of an interview with the queen for ages!
At eight, we were brought to the interview location. The media room was simple, with zero clutter. The furniture was modern minimalist. The walls were white, the floor-to-ceiling windows were bare. Your eyes were drawn to the lush grounds.
And it was so warm you could forget it was autumn. Rather than a press junket, the room gave the impression that the queen was meeting you as a friend, invited to relax in that gorgeous room.
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Once there, I discovered I could eat. I drank tea and had some of the best scones I’ve ever had.
At eight fifteen, the queen arrived in her trademark, understated elegance. Barely any makeup. No lipstick. Hair splendid and shining but unstyled. Her outfit looked like something you wore at home, because of course it might be a palace but it was her home.
Well, something you wore at home in different brands, unless you’re also upper crust Corean who can afford head-to-toe Chanel, because the queen’s outfit was all Chanel, from her Coco Crush earrings to her suede calfskin and grosgrain mary janes.  
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Her Majesty was just lovely. She made us feel like friends. If I weren’t in love with her before, I would certainly have been head over heels then.
Don’t get me wrong-- the queen is not friendly in that overly familiar style that just manipulates you to respond in the same way. No, the queen simply charms you with her sincerity, despite her obvious shyness. If she asks you a question, she genuinely wants to know the answer-- it’s not just small talk.
When everything was ready, the queen sat in her chosen chair. We shared a laugh because it’s exactly the type of chair the king didn’t want her to sit on when Their Majesties dropped in on us for his flash interview.
Without further ado, darlings, here’s my interview with the queen on her new project.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
The Queen’s project revolves around Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death, which includes, but is not limited to, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, and the death of a newborn.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is held on October 15 in several countries. Are we going to have a separate day for it in Corea, Your Majesty?
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HM The Queen: I found out about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on the same day it was confirmed that I’m pregnant. So we’ve been working on this project for several weeks. I wanted to unveil it on the remembrance day, but I didn’t want that strict deadline on anybody’s head.
Thankfully, we still managed to be quite close to the Remembrance Day. So we are launching the Eomoni Foundation this year and Corea will join the international Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day next year.
The Eomoni Foundation
Eomoni Foundation is literally “Mother” Foundation. Is it for all mothers in Corea?
HM The Queen: Yes. Mothers do so much, even before the moment they learn they’re expecting a child. When they’re trying to conceive, or when they suspect they’re pregnant and they’re not sure yet if it’s happy or unwelcome news. There’s just so much there, unspoken and unrecognized. Eomoni Foundation stands for everything a mother needs before, during and after pregnancy.
Because of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, we’ve talked to experts on how to support this often overlooked aspect of becoming a mother.
Mothers who lose their children during pregnancy or infancy need the most support. So Eomoni Foundation is their safe harbor, where they can come for informational, emotional, medical, and peer support.
And the foundation is truly up and running?
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HM The Queen: Yes. The helpline is up, the website is live, and Eomoni Foundation has fully-staffed centers in Seoul, Busan, Pyongyang and Hamgyong. Of course, we’re still learning everything, but we have reliable models from other foundations worldwide. The Queen’s Office and the Office of the Prime Minister are both working together to have a Eeomoni Center in every city in Corea.
What’s your goal for the foundation, short term and long-term?
HM The Queen: We’re in talks with the Ministry of Labor about requiring all private and government businesses and organizations to have training for Infant Loss and Bereavement. I want parents to have company policies and HR that support them. This is both the short and long-term goal, to change policies and laws to support parents in this difficult time.
I suppose this is very personal for you, Your Majesty, now that you’re expecting? How has that affected this project you whipped up so quickly?
HM The Queen: Of course, it’s personal. And this is almost never discussed because it’s terrifying, but this is a mother’s biggest fear: to lose her child. It’s very real to me right now-- I can understand that fear and I can imagine the devastation and grief at this visceral level, so I wanted Eomoni Foundation up, and we do have the means to do that. There were no impediments for this project to get on its feet.
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No superstitions at all that might have cautioned you against it?
HM The Queen: Ahhh yes, there was something said about it, but even the most superstitious understood. I mean, of course I wouldn’t want anything to happen. But not touching this because of that has no logic at all. No one wants to get cancer, and should that mean we couldn’t touch support and research and funds for cancer patients?
So we pushed through with this, because this is absolutely needed.
Congratulations, Your Majesty, this is stupendous.
HM The Queen: Thank you. We had a lot of help. Her Excellency, of course. And Dr Chae. And Elizabeth Locke of the Infant Loss Foundation in the United Kingdom. The Corean Association of Counseling is also offering training specifically for Infant Loss Counseling, under Eomoni Foundation.
That’s wonderful. Your Majesty, you’ve had so many projects since becoming queen. It makes my head spin. Do these help with the adjustment from your previous job to this one? Did you have an adjustment period at all? How--what was it like? You’re handling so much, and now you’re also pregnant.
HM The Queen: I’ve been a public servant ever since I became an adult, and my role now just continues that, only on a bigger scale.
I got married. And my marriage happened to come with a queenship.
The adjustment period was more on the small “big” things, like people bowing, and not being able to go out and about like I used to, and events where I’m the center of attention instead of being invisible in the background.
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I had to learn the protocol and I had to get used to so many things. I suppose I was already trained for this because a cop should be adaptive. You need to be nimble for every case, every situation, and if you transfer to another station or another department-- or if you even just get promoted--you also need to adjust there. You shouldn’t get comfortable, or be afraid of change.
It’s such a huge change, Your Majesty. Do you ever feel regret for what you gave up? Do you ever think of your previous career?
HM The Queen: No. I made my choice and it’s something I don’t regret at all. I do think of my previous job. Who wouldn’t? But even though I loved it, I wasn’t really in a position of influence.
After becoming queen, I had to wrap my head around the fact that I can do what I want. I’m in this position where I can help and serve people without all the bureaucracy I would have had to go through first.
Once I’ve done that, I filled pages and pages of notes on everything I could do for Corea. That’s why you’re seeing so many projects. I talk to the Prime Minister a lot. Secretary Mo is also a great advisor. I have a lot to learn if I want to be a working queen.
The king is supportive, of course. And the king and I have always planned to have a family. So having a baby is just part of everything, too. I went into this with both eyes open and I’m determined to do my best.
That’s what it’s like. I’m learning, adjusting, asking questions. I do have a lot of help. And for many of my projects, I’m simply a patron. I get it off the ground, I raise funds, the experts do the work.
I admire that so much, Your Majesty. Thank you for your candor. I’ve always been curious, what does being patron of these foundations involve?
HM The Queen: It involves signatures and funding for the most part, and support where needed, for both the best developments and any bad circumstances.
How are you, ma’am? No more morning sickness? I hope it’s alright to ask that. Everyone’s thinking about you.
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It’s adorable how the queen refused to touch her baby bump throughout the interview, but often came close to doing so anyway.
HM The Queen: I do still get sick now and then. We’re told this is normal and might go away. Or not. And I thank everyone for their concern. I’m very well taken care of. Sometimes to the point of excess, but I’ve learned to accept some of it, and we’ve all gotten better at it.
Can you share something about that, Your Majesty?
HM The Queen: Well, the king is almost back to normal and no longer snaps at Jangmi’s every move. I mean Jang Mi-reuk. And Lady Noh is always giving me  tisanes and soups. I’ve told her which ones I like and which ones I absolutely wouldn’t drink, so we’ve all come to an agreement.
How is the king? Is he excited-terrified, or excited-impatient?
HM The Queen: I think he tries to be neither. We’re excited, of course, but we try to temper that and just stick to happiness every day. We just savor each day.
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That is lovely, but also surprising. So you don’t plan for May, for example? No birth plan?
HM The Queen: That’s already done. We got it out of the way on the first days. We don’t dwell on it. We enjoy each new day, each new milestone.
So I suppose you have names ready?
HM The Queen: Ahh, I think I’ve been told not to say anything about that.
That reminds me of that time Your Majesties dropped by! Can I ask you some of those questions?
HM The Queen: Of course, you can ask me. I just won’t guarantee the answers.
I’ve always been curious about that blessing His Majesty mentioned. He said, and I quote, that you “were blessed by God to meet and stay together. God made sure our paths would cross and stay intertwined.” What does this mean?
HM The Queen: That’s exactly what it means. We were fated to meet, and then fate kept us together, as cheesy as that sounds. All our doubts and fears were answered and addressed.
That’s just as cryptic as what the king said. Let me capture something non-cryptic at all. The rings you’re wearing right now. They’re the Coco Crush rings. Any significance? We haven’t seen your wedding rings at all.
HM The Queen: My wedding and engagement rings are both very thin bands-- and they don’t fit my fingers right now. These aren’t part of my bridal jewelry. They are gifts from the king. I wear them sometimes when I’m at home.
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And when he’s not home? When she misses him? The king is currently away on kingly duties to Russia, China, Thailand, and Singapore.  
First thing that comes to mind: what do you love about the king?
HM The Queen: His dimples. So I guess that’s his smile. The rest of him isn’t bad at all either. You think he’s vain but he’s not. He’s a man of principle. What he said in your interview was right: He does know how to joke in difficult situations.
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It amazed me that I didn’t become a puddle of goo in that gorgeous press room at that point. Despite her smiles and giggling, there was something in the queen’s eyes that told me she’d witnessed a demonstration of the king’s stalwart principle. This queen admires and respects her king in the highest degree. And these two are so in love it’s almost contagious-- no wonder the whole kingdom is in love with their love, too.
It’s probably his principles that took him away from you these days?
HM The Queen: Well, these diplomatic visits have been scheduled for months. He comes home from Singapore in a few days.
Just in time for the King’s Birthday?
HM The Queen: Hopefully.
What is something you adore about the king, something we won’t see or notice at all because we don’t live with him, but something we can watch out for in public appearances?
HM The Queen: If you ever see him pick something up with his right hand, sometimes his pinkie would be sticking out. He hates it when that happens, but it’s not really something he can control.
And laughing at that little detail, our interview came to an end. I feel quite blissful. I don’t know if I’d asked what I’d wanted to ask, but I’m content.
Stay tuned because we’ll be back at the palace for the king’s birthday!
For more information about Eomoni Foundation, go here. 
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Images from Elle Korea interview video. Love that so much.
LMH’s pinkie sticking out is as true as KGE missing her pockets lol 
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corinnaleala-blog · 5 years
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Do you know if CORINNA LEALA has arrive in Edana yet? They’re the TWENTY NINE year old, LADY IN HOUSE LEALA. What if CORINNA CORA is a Lysander loyalist, I hear she can be UNYIELDING & ALOOF. But I also hear she can be INTELLIGENT & CARING and she has sworn to House Thadea, so we’ll have to simple hope and pray she arrives soon before rumours spread.
hello there, here i go again. actually haven’t done one of those in a bit lol but let me bring you The Sad Mom Friend ™. since i am a public information directory anyways, here i will link you to the blog’s index, where you will find info about house leala, corinna’s profile and timeline, some of her app, and the tags; pretty much, all that you will need to make sense of my baby.
however, if you don’t feel like reading a bible so much (i don’t blame yall i’m still embarrassed to have made the admins suffer thru 10 pages of app), bellow the cut is your way!
inspiration: demeter and kore from greek mythology, megara from hercules, sansa stark, jeyne westerling, the tully mamas & daenerys targaryen from asoiaf/got, mary crawley from downton abbey, brianna fraser from outlander
tw: mention of misogyny, pregnancy, mention of abortive intent, miscarriage/stillbirth, emotional abusive maternal relationship, non con relationship (unwanted arranged marriage), implicit depression and ptsd, parental death.
background
first, house leala. a small house, on the territory of the kingdom of rainer -- they are the closest bannermen, within riding distance of the capital, which has made them claim to be the most loyal of the people from the kingdom. their main wealth comes from lake asteria, both the lake itself, and the fertile grounds in its margins; the lake used to have diamonds in it, but now it is all gone, and only recently they have begun to culture oysters for their pearls, which has given a boost to the economy and the status of the house.
corinna was the first born daughter of the current lord leala and lady ellanor leala, nee rainer. there is always an enchantment when it comes to your first child -- children, in this case -- and with cora it was no different. her gender never proved to be a disappointment, and instead her mother, a woman of forward ideas, rejoiced and took the girl as the apple of her eye.
thus, cora grew up by her mother’s skirts, trying her best to both be the best shadow possible, and to please her lady mother. for most part, it seems she had achieved that: she was proficient in her studies on how to be a proper lady (although admittedly, she was a poor dancer); she did not have much interest in broader politics, but had a keen mind for the details and musts of how to keep a household and to care for the people; she was passionately interested in the idea of children, of becoming a mother, of caring for babes, even going out of her way to take care and raise her younger siblings.
because she seemed to be well rounded enough, cora’s faults were often overseen. she was able to get off unscathed after childhood mischief, she had freedom of speech and of thought, and her mother even fed her not so lady-like interests in the flora of the terrain around their house, and her adventures by lake asteria. she lived an ideal life, a life that not many of her gender could enjoy, even those of higher birth than her -- actually, she preferred not to be the daughter of a bigger house; while she was in love with terenthia, house rainer’s capital, she also saw that her rainer cousins had more put on their shoulders than she thinks bearable.
at the dusk of her puberty, her idyllic life took a fall, when she discovered herself pregnant, without a husband. the father (big wc!) had been a boy she cared for too much to burden with a heaviness like this, but she still wanted the child, desperately so. her parents weren’t so fond of the idea. all her life all she knew from her mother was that overwhelming love--now, it took a turn for the worse, for the opposite. when lady leala didn’t treat her unkindly, she simply ignored her -- which, for cora, seemed to be even worse.
still, she stood her ground and refused any discussion of termination of the pregnancy. tbqh she didn’t really think much through, all she could think of was that she would feel fulfilled and useful and everything would just work out in the end, when she saw her child. unfortunately, six months or so in, she went for a sail in the lake, and ended up in an accident that caused her to suffer a miscarriage (google says the term is stillbirth but). the pain and the loss left her in a deeply catatonic state, impairing her of thought, speech and of her warmth, leaving her traumatized enough to even now, still be fearful of bodies of water (a great loss for an avid swimmer as she was).
her mother took advantage of the momentum and shipped her off to marry an unknown lordling (an wc on the main!) to be honest, he probably wasn’t cruel or bad to her at all, but cora was scarred and never truly opened up to him, going as far as treating him with scorn and coldness. she didn’t get pregnant again--which was devastating to her, since she imagined a child could make her less lonely in the strange place; and also damaging to the match, since her husband needed legitimate heirs. after some years, the husband decided to divorce her, so he requested an annulment by non consummation, which she was more than glad to grant him (even if it meant she was lying, and that her future matches would be scarce).
she thought she knew maternal disappointment, but when she returned home after years married, now unmarried and “soiled”....hoo boy. the annulment was an offense for ellanor, who took it greatly; her health deteriorated and she became more cantankerous, finding every fault in her daughter, belittling and attacking. because they all thought if this continued lady leala would be dead within half a year, cora was sent to terenthia to serve as a lady in waiting for her cousin lyanna, alongside her sister elyse, who had already been there for over a decade.
there, corinna found some room to heal. she had her younger sister by her side after so many years apart, she had healthy companionship, more freedom and less judgemental eyes over her than she has had ever since she was a young maiden, and, of course, she had always loved terenthia. although she was far older than most of lyanna’s ladies, she found a place to fit in. she may still have had bursts of melancholia, and become quieter and sharper than she had once been, but she felt herself better, worthy of life, at last.
her mother’s death just a year ago changed that. the guilt came back strong, like a river flood, and corinna found herself obliged to return to leala keep so she could be of service, useful in any way possible. ever since, she has kept herself in mourning, and has yet to return to terenthia; instead she stays to aid her father and her brothers, and to run the household as her mother had taught her to, so many years ago.
personality and interests
cora had once been well known as vivacious, warm and curious. in some ways, she has had a change for the opposite after the unfortunate events in her life. 
she has an incredible amount of empathy, which mixed with her undying curiosity, is still an alarming feature (dangerous it was, may even still be). her goal is to help anyone in any way she can, but she is also familiar with taking charge and being an older sister so she can be a bit domineering and more insolent than she should; she is well intended, though, so the minute she notices she has been too harsh, she mostly falls into an anxious daze of guilt, which makes her seem either chilly or incredibly awkward.
she is also very very passionate and somewhat constant with her interests, like, she is still very much into botany, into technology and its uses to improve humankind and she is still unbelievably stubborn, sometimes way more than she should. she is also closed off -- which can be a contradiction when she is modern minded -- and politically engaged at all, which may make her seem too passive to live in a cut throat society as this.
plots
first, the plots i have mentioned on the app that are the most necessary for her characterization/background would be:
her best friend
her past lover/baby daddy
her ex-husband (and/or his family)
however, i am really really excited for everything that is thrown at me. friendships, enemies, maybe people who despise her because they think she’s too passive, people who are interested in her (romantically, sexually, professionally, platonically, idc)
corinna is especially very into female friendships, since she grew with the idea that women are no lesser than men in any way, and that women should have one another’s backs -- thus i feel she might fluctuate towards befriending women more, especially in a way that seems she is coddling/mothering them which is like cora 101, pretty much her modus operandi, like it doesn’t even matter who you are, cora is probably struggling NOT to behave like your mother (and failing lbr)
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Yui Sasaki
Fandom; Boku no Hero Academia
World Summary; Takes place in a modern day society where humans have adapted to have superpowers, called ‘Quirks.’ due to this, there’s an uprising of villains and criminals, and so heroes are an integrated part of society. Main narrative takes part in UA academy, more specifically it’s department of heroics. Designed for kids who want to have a career as a hero, and helps to train their quirks. 
- Cori here! Read this profile and review under the cut.
Name; Yui Sasaki
Aliases; Kore (Hero name; Alternate name for Persephone, more commonly used in Japan), Seven (Villain Alias; she hasn’t been recorded to have anything defining, so she’s labelled with a number to keep track of her.)
Gender; Female
Sexual Orientation; Panromantic (Unsure of Sexual Orientation)
Age; 15
Birthdate; 21 March
Occcupation; 1st year Student at Yuuei
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Alignment; Lawful Good
Group/Organisational Affiliations; Yuuei Department of Heroics, Class 1A, later on the League of Villains
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Family; Chiyo Sasaki (Mother, 40 years old, vocal coach.)
             Jun Sasaki (Father, 42 years old, airplane mechanic.)
              Hisa Fujioka (Grandmother, 73 years old, shrine maiden turned housewife.)
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Height + Weight; 5'6, 123lbs
Build; Athletic, built for speed and agility. Lean and has mucles, but not well defined.
General Appearance; Yui has a lean, but still soft frame, with a Japanese complexion and a softer, round face. She has a smaller chest and hips, with freckles and birthmarks scattered on the bridge of her nose, cheeks and arms, with scarring on her knees and hands from childhood accidents. She has honey brown hair just below her shoulders (Later cut off into a bob and fringe style), and amber eyes. She commonly wears clothing that she finds comfortable, such as old jeans and sweaters, but has a sweet spot for Harajuku fashion.
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Personality; Yui is an extremely selfless person, reaching the point of sacrificial. This causes her to be very compassionate and tries to be understanding, She has a quiet sort of courage, that suits her to situations where thinking on your feet is required, and is a top pick for disaster scenarios and hostage situations. She’s a cheerful person, but in a muted manner, and is enjoyable to be around, no matter the person (most of the time). She’s very honest, sometimes bruatally, and is a go-to for personal problems. Unfortunately she prefers to bottle up hers and others problems instead of letting it out, resulting in a nasty breakdown every so often. She’s creative, but her academics could use some work, but she’s a very good planner and is good at thinking on her feet. 
Motivations; Her desire to help as many people as she can, and to do her parents proud. 
Life goal; To be seen as a dependable hero who can help in whatever situation. 
Best Quality; A strong desire to improve herself
Worst Quality; Too selfless to the point of sacrificial, one to bottle things up, resulting in a breakdown.
Fears; Being there, but not being able to do anything. Deep water and drowning. 
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Backstory; Yui grew up in a happy, comfortable home, the only hiccup being the stillbirth of her to-be younger sister. She developed her quirk at age 4 (the average), and while it’s a strong quirk, she never really worked on improving it. She knew that she wanted to help people for a career, and was considering police work, before witnessing a live fight between a high tier villain and a hero, and changed her mind, committing herself to improving her quirk, in order to pass the UA entrance exam. She managed to make it in on a thin margin, and was sorted into class 1A. 
Later Storyline; Yui is threatened and blackmailed into joining the League of Villains, by exploiting her selflessness and relationships. She disappears from her dorm room, and is classified as a missing person or runaway, leaving no trails behind. She’s recruited as an informant (giving as much info as she can remember on locations and people) and used as a warehouse guard and occasional tagalong for external missions. Unbeknownst to them, she’s working with a group in the organisation in order to slowly and quietly take it down from the inside. 
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Quirk; Green Thumb. Allows her to grow plants and flowers from any surface that she’s touching with either her bare hands or feet. The quirk draws on her energy and stamina to grow her plants, and she needs to stay hydrated in order for them to stay healthy. This means that if she uses her quirk too much, she runs out of energy and stamina, eventually passing out. She commonly uses tendril-like plants for fighting, but is adapting to use different plants in her battle strategies. 
Weaknesses; Her stamina problems, and her pollen allergies, which cause her asthma to flare up. Not the best for a plant based quirk.
Hello there! Thank you for your patience while I worked on this review. The first thing I’m going to say is that something like Yui’s powers would probably go better at the top of her profile, near the rest of her basic info. I spent the entire first read-through of this profile wondering ‘what the heck is her superpower??’! Appearance-wise, I like the description of Yui’s face and body (pretty jealous of a fifteen-year-old being 5′6 though, haha). I’m really not sure what you mean when you say she has a ‘Japanese complexion’, however. Based on Yui’s name I can guess that her nationality is Japanese, but that’s not really a helpful term for describing someone’s skin. Japanese people can have a wide variety of complexions! I’d also like to see you add some descriptive words to the shape of Yui’s facial features, like her eyes and nose. We’re talking about a character from an anime–their eyes can be any shape under the sun, from perfect circles to a completely horizontal line and everything in between. Play with your character’s design a little! Yui’s personality falls a little flat for me, based on what I have here, and I think it would benefit from some extra depth and details. There are a lot of characters out there who are cheerful and compassionate, who hide their own struggles–what can you do to help set Yui apart from similar characters? Try envisioning her talking with her best friend, a stranger, and a person that she hates. How does she interact with each one of these people? What if that person is coming to her with a problem–how far would Yui go to help each one? As far as social interactions go, brutal honesty is a trait that often frustrates and alienates people, even close friends and family. People who say they are ‘brutally’ honest usually don’t have much tact, and that makes them seem insensitive and rude. So give me some more details here–tell me what she’s willing to lie about to spare someone’s feelings. If Yui is so selfless that she would sacrifice her own emotional health for someone else, why would she risk hurting someone’s feelings? This is a trait that could help make Yui more three-dimensional, but it will need some extra consideration on your part.
What kind of emotions does Yui typically refuse to show other people? Does she try to hide her anger and frustration, or her sadness? Worse, does she try to hide EVERY negative emotion? What happens when it finally gets to be too much? The first half of Yui’s backstory is a fine ‘normal’ backstory for a character like this, but the mention of a stillborn sibling made me stop and think. This kind of thing wouldn’t really be treated like a ‘hiccup’, in my opinion. Losing a baby is, of course, harder on the parents, but to a potential older sibling the loss can be just as devastating. I don’t know how old your character was when this happened, but I speak from personal experience here–I was six when my mom miscarried, and it tore me up to the point that I started acting out in school. Having to deal with death at a young age is not something that everyone goes through. It’s something that heals with time, of course, but I think you’ve got a good opportunity here to explore how the loss of her sibling could have affected Yui, even into her teenage years. The latter half of Yui’s backstory definitely takes an interesting turn, but there are a few parts of it that seem to conflict with what I already know about your character. What she’s involved in with the Villain League is basically a hostage situation–something that you mentioned she was suited for in her training. What kind of training has she received to prepare herself for this kind of scenario? Was it always her intention to be a double agent? How well is she trusted by members of the League, being a new recruit? All in all, you’ve got a good start for a profile here. What it really needs now is some extra ‘spice’–something to help make Yui an interesting and unique character. I hope you’ll be able to get some ideas from my thoughts and questions! Good luck with your writing! ~Cori
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nathanielburgos · 4 years
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New Statutory Bereavement Rights for Parents
6 minute read
Last updated: 27th January 2020
  Bereaved parents who have suffered the loss of a child will be entitled to two weeks’ statutory paid leave from work from 6th April 2020.  
This article covers:
New statutory parental bereavement entitlement
Who is entitled to statutory parental bereavement leave?
Bereavement leave following stillbirth
Statutory parental bereavement pay & leave
Key considerations for HR
  New statutory parental bereavement entitlement
The new Parental Bereavement Leave and Pay Regulations extend existing provisions under the Employment Rights Act 1996, which only allow employees to take ‘reasonable’ time off work, unpaid, for emergencies such as the loss of a child.
Under ‘Jack’s Law’, so-called after the son of bereavement campaigner Lucy Herd, the Government is introducing the most generous parental bereavement pay entitlement of any country in the world. All employees who lose a child under the age of 18 or who suffer a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy will have a ‘day one’ right to unpaid bereavement leave for a minimum of two weeks.
To be eligible for paid parental bereavement leave, parents and primary carers must have a minimum of 26 weeks’ continuous employment prior to the child’s death.
In addition, the two-week leave can be taken either together or in two separate blocks up until the first anniversary of the child’s death to afford parents more flexibility and breathing space following their loss.
Bereavement groups have welcomed the new rights, but are clear that this is a minimum entitlement, and that employers should look to support grieving employees beyond the statutory provision to allow parents to take care of the practical demands of losing a child, such as arranging the funeral, and to start to deal with the emotional trauma by, for example, spending time with their family.
By guaranteeing parents a minimum period of leave, it is hoped parents will be allowed breathing space without forcing an early return to work due to financial or work worries that is not in the best interests of the employee’s wellbeing.
Kevin Hollinrake, the MP for Thirsk and Malton, who proposed the law in a private member’s bill, said: “Losing a child is every parent’s worst fear, but no one could ever fully understand the utter devastation of such a loss. While most employers are compassionate and generous in these situations, some are not, so I was delighted to be able to help make leave for bereaved parents a legal right.”
  Who is entitled to statutory parental bereavement leave?
Statutory parental leave will be available to all employed parents who have suffered the loss of a child under the age of 18.
The rights also extend to employed adults with ‘parental responsibility’, which includes adopters, foster parents and guardians, and kinship carers such as close relatives or family friends who have assumed responsibility for looking after a child.
Under the new law, employers will not be entitled to request a copy of the child’s death certificate as evidence of an employee’s right to the entitlement.
  Bereavement leave following stillbirth
Employees who have suffered a stillbirth after the 24th week of pregnancy will also be entitled to the new statutory bereavement leave.
Additionally, where the child was lost after the 24th week of pregnancy or following birth, the mother will continue to be entitled to up to 52 weeks of maternity leave and/or pay, as will a mother who loses a child after it is born.
  Statutory parental bereavement pay & leave
Parents and primary carers who have been employed for a continuous period of at least 26 weeks prior to when the child dies, and have received pay above the lower earning limit (£118 per week for 2019-20) for the previous eight weeks, are entitled to at least two weeks’ statutory paid leave (statutory rate of £148.68 per week [for 2019-20], or 90% of average weekly earnings, where this is lower).
Smaller employers will be able to recover all statutory parental bereavement pay, while larger organisations will be able to reclaim almost all of it.
Workers who have not been employed for a continuous period of at least 26 weeks are entitled to two weeks’ unpaid leave.
The two weeks’ leave can be taken either in one block of two weeks, or as two separate blocks of one week each. It must be taken within 56 weeks of the date of the child’s death. This is to allow for time to be taken off for difficult events such as birthdays or anniversaries.
Notice requirements for taking the leave will be flexible, so it can be taken at short notice.
The pay rate for bereavement leave is still to be confirmed, but is expected to be similar to the statutory rate for maternity/paternity leave.
If an employee loses more than one child, they will be entitled to take a separate period of leave for each child.
  Key considerations for HR
  Employers are advised to approach employee parental bereavement with compassion and consideration.
Be mindful of the impact of how the situation is handled on the employee’s wellbeing, return to work and wider team morale. There may also be legal risks to avoid, for example, refusing to allow an employee to observe their religious traditions and funeral rites could be deemed discrimination on religious grounds.
Different people handle grief in different ways, and while two weeks away from work may suffice for some employees, for others it may require a more flexible or alternative approach, such as offering further unpaid leave. In all instances, it is best to act with compassion and to be supportive.
Confirm with the employee how much or how little they wish to be divulged to other employees, to avoid data protection issues.
Continue to be supportive after the employee returns to work, to ensure any potential mental health issues such as PTSD or depression are supported, or identify whether reasonable adjustments may need to be made.
For the employee, easing any work worries can help the individual feel valued and supported, aiding the grieving process.
As specialist employment solutions lawyers, DavidsonMorris can advise on the implications of the new parental bereavement rights for your business. We can help to ensure your policies are compliant and your HR & managers are trained to deal with instances of employee bereavement effectively and with compassion. For practical guidance for your business, contact us.
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babystepssc-blog · 5 years
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How to Help Loved Ones Who Are Struggling with Infertility
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If you have a close family member or friend who has been trying to get pregnant for a significant period of time, or one who has struggled with the loss of a child through miscarriage or stillbirth caused by fertility issues, you may be at a loss as to how you can help them remain optimistic that they will eventually have a living baby to hold and love.
Fortunately, there are certain things that you can do to support your loved ones while they are struggling with infertility. Read on to learn more about how you can help your loved ones during this trying time in their lives.
Always Be Supportive
Possibly the most important thing that you can do for families who are having difficulty conceiving is to be there for them. Families struggling with infertility do not want to hear that they will become pregnant when the time is right, or be told other platitudes; if they want to talk at all, they may simply want to have someone there who they can talk to about how devastated they are and how badly they want to be parents.
An even more challenging scenario is when another family member does not have trouble getting pregnant. The family member struggling with infertility is likely to be disappointed and even depressed when their close friends and family are able to become pregnant when they have not been able to.
It is important for you to know that these families are not unhappy that you are pregnant; they are simply unhappy that they are not pregnant. During this time, the best thing you can do is be their shoulder to cry on and support them when they feel as though they have no one else to turn to.
Have You Considered Compassionate Surrogacy?
A more extreme way that you can help your loved ones who are having trouble conceiving is to become a compassionate surrogate. This is also often referred to as an altruistic surrogacy, in which the surrogate mother does not receive compensation for her gift. A compassionate surrogacy arrangement is when a close friend or family member offers to carry the intended parents’ child for them so they can grow their family.
Any form of surrogacy is sure to be an emotional rollercoaster, but with families, it can become even more strenuous. Compassionate surrogacy arrangements need to be handled delicately, and if you are interested in helping your loved one become a parent through compassionate surrogacy, you can reach out to our surrogacy agency for more information.
Contact a Reputable Surrogacy Agency for More Information
When you think you may be able to become a surrogate for your family members who are struggling with infertility, you can speak with an experienced surrogacy counselor at Baby Steps Surrogacy Center, Inc. who can help you understand the entire surrogacy process in depth.
Or, if you have other questions about how you can help your loved ones during this devastating time in their lives, you can visit our website or contact our office directly at 412-884-2229.
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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years
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What No One Tells You About Having a Baby
http://fashion-trendin.com/what-no-one-tells-you-about-having-a-baby/
What No One Tells You About Having a Baby
Sarah got pregnant in January 2017 and gave birth in October. She’s been shocked by the experience since the very beginning and worries the lack of education, support and dialogue around what it’s like to conceive, give birth to and care for a child does a disservice to women. She wants to speak honestly about what it’s like as much as she can to help reverse that. Below is her as-told-to story. -Haley Nahman
Realizing My Ignorance Early On
My husband and I were married for five years before we decided to start trying for a baby. Just a few months before I got pregnant, a close pregnant friend’s baby died the day she was due. She never found out why, but in doing my own research, I found out that one out of every 160 pregnancies in the U.S. ends in a late-term death of the baby, or stillbirth. In about a fourth of the cases, doctors can’t even find a possible cause. I had heard of people having miscarriages, but I’d previously thought that once you’ve passed four months, you’re pretty much home free.
It made me realize that if I’m an educated adult who lives in New York City and I didn’t know about this statistic, there have to be so many people out there who also have no idea. That she couldn’t find a support group in a fairly large city highlighted how so much of what women experience in pregnancy is left out of the cultural dialogue. So I approached my own pregnancy through that lens. It was always in the back of my mind that I didn’t know anything about having a baby, and that it could happen to me too.
Losing Control of My Body
I was really sick at the beginning of my pregnancy. People talk about morning sickness as a common symptom, but they act like you throw up once in the morning and it ends in four weeks. I was sick all day, every day for 18 weeks. I could not eat, couldn’t function, couldn’t go out to dinner with my husband, couldn’t have lunch with a girlfriend. It was the most alienating, isolating and miserable four months. I would go for three days eating the insides of bagels and little slices of apple because that was the only thing I didn’t puke up. That level of nausea is very hard to describe. My husband really didn’t understand, as wonderful and good as he is.
You can’t tell anyone that you’re pregnant for months, either, so you have to get up and go to work every day. I felt compromised in every possible way. Finally that ended, I started showing and the pregnancy part became a little bit more fun. But there were endless side effects that no one ever told me about, like an intensified sense of smell, horrible breakouts and other changes in my body. On the flip side, I also felt a certain type of euphoria the whole time, which was hormone-related.
The Weightiness of Pregnancy
Pregnancy wasn’t the blissfully happy, magical thing that everyone told me it would be. It’s only nine months, but it seems so much longer. Every day was different. I’d ask myself, “What’s going to change about my body today? Or my mindset? Or my relationship with my husband? Or my sex life? Or my relationship with people in my family?”
There’s a lot going on in your body when you’re pregnant; I felt so emotionally heavy through all of it. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders because every decision I made impacted me and this hopeless little thing that I was building. I also felt immediately so much closer to my mom, who I was already extremely close with. I would cry myself to sleep three nights a week, worried that my mom was going to die before I had the baby. I would try to explain all of this to my husband, and while he’s awesome, I don’t think he had the emotional capacity to understand what any of this would be like.
I can’t speak to the very real decisions people who have depression have to make when they’re pregnant (like if they’re going to continue with antidepressants); I don’t have that type of depression, but I felt emotionally heavy the entire time, and there weren’t a lot of people who I could talk to about it. Even though my friends who don’t have kids are empathetic, amazing people, they had no fucking clue what I was talking about. And my friends who did have kids, who did understand what I was talking about, were busy because they had kids.
Around the five-month mark, I had a real mental breakdown. I was inconsolable for a week. I couldn’t stop crying. On the one hand, I was very grateful that I was able to conceive and that I was making this baby, but I also felt like my choices were suddenly so limited. I felt kind of like my life was ending. My husband didn’t feel that way. But I just kept thinking, Holy shit. Why did I decide to do this? My whole life is about to get turned upside down. What if I didn’t really understand what the implications of that were? Did I really want this? I was questioning everything.
The Process of Giving Birth
I was pregnant all summer and gave birth on October 3rd. The process of giving birth was horrific. Once I got to the hospital, every step of giving birth was a trauma on my body, from the giant IV that they stuck in me to my water not breaking enough for the baby to come out. They had to re-break my water with what looked like a giant knitting needle. It was so gruesome and gross and painful. I was doing that kind of crying where I couldn’t breathe. I was in labor for almost 19 hours.
No one tells you so much of the horror of giving birth. It’s such a disservice to people, especially to people who don’t have access to the kind of care that I do. I had it better than most: I had incredible medical care at the best hospital in New York City. I saw a private doctor who doesn’t accept insurance in New York — it was a very expensive and rare opportunity that only a very lucky and privileged person would have.
I had a friend in Chicago who was pregnant at the same time I was. She had more of your “standard” experience, a standard doctor who took all sorts of insurance. I cannot tell you how different our experiences were. I had a sonogram every single time I went to the doctor; she had a sonogram twice. I went through maybe four types of genetic testing, some of which weren’t even offered to her. There were just so many ways in which her much more accessible medical care was subpar compared to what I got. It just wasn’t right. What’s more is I think that compared to most people, she was in a privileged position. A lot of families have it much worse than she did. Women are making the future of our species, and for most of them, the medical care is so far beneath what they deserve and need.
There Is a Lack of Dialogue
Did you know that you bleed for six to eight weeks after you have a baby? Because I had to wear adult diapers — no one ever told me that. No one ever told me that you look physically pregnant for months afterward. One study showed as many as six out of 10 women have a condition called diastasis recti where their abdominal muscles stretch so much that they separate and their bodies are often not capable of putting them back together without physical therapy. I never heard about that — I never read about that in a biology textbook. Like so many postpartum complications, it is also severely under-researched.
Part of the reason no one told me this stuff is that women forget; your body makes you forget what the experience was like to protect you. But also, people just don’t want to talk about it. This should be the shit you learn about in science class when you’re an eighth-grader! All of this should be normalized because it’s something women have to go through in order for the human species to continue.
I’ve heard people say, “They don’t tell you this stuff because if you knew you wouldn’t have a baby to begin with.” That’s not a reason not to give people medical, scientific information about their own bodies. There’s something inherently misogynist about it that this isn’t common knowledge.
After I had the baby, I had no clue what to do with him. Everyone says, “When they put that baby on your chest, you’re gonna immediately fall in love. It’ll be the best moment of your life!” When they put the baby on my chest, I honestly felt like he was an alien and I did not know what to do next. I didn’t really feel connected to him. It wasn’t a magical fireworks moment at all, and I felt really guilty about that. When I told other mothers that, they said things like, “Yeah, I didn’t love the baby for the first few weeks either.” That was good to know, but I wished I hadn’t spent weeks thinking I was missing a chip.
The Pressures of Motherhood
I am three and a half months postpartum, and my friends say it takes about a year for the hormones to level out. When I say that I don’t feel connected to my child, it’s not that I don’t feel a deep sense of responsibility and respect for this little creature. It’s just that I didn’t fall in love immediately. That glittery version of having a baby wasn’t reality for me. My stomach is still distended, I am bleeding into an adult diaper, I pee in my pants if I jump too fast, I cry all the time, I feel every emotion more deeply and I’m losing my hair because of the drastic change in my estrogen levels. The thought of anything happening to the baby is devastating, but what am I going to do? Sit up all night and stare at him? It’s such a clusterfuck of emotions, and it doesn’t stop.
I was told that I had to breastfeed, but I refused to do it. It was a decision I made that made me feel less tethered and weighed down since I was already feeling a lot of anxiety, pressure and depression about my life changing completely. Deciding not to breastfeed gave me a sense of autonomy and was the right choice for me. But when people hear me say that, they look at me like I have seven heads. You have no idea how many men have asked me about that decision. When I tell them, I feel like they look at me as though I’m a huge asshole for not feeding my baby solely from my body for six straight months.
Women Need More Support
Even though I’m a vocal person, I still feel shame for saying that I have postpartum depression. It’s almost like I think I don’t deserve to say it because other people have it worse. But the fact that it’s hard for me to say is cultural brainwashing. So I’m supposed to accept that this is my reality and that any amount of complaining makes me a bad mom or a bad woman? Or that I’m airing my dirty laundry in public, which is impolite? In reality, that is inaccurate and is why this problem persists. I love my baby, I love my husband and I know that all of this will work out. But I cry every single day. I feel sad and lonely.
We all have our opinions on how it feels to have a baby, but the lack of widely shared scientific, medical information about what happens to your body bothers me. Women are not properly prepared for and supported in motherhood. It makes me so angry. I don’t understand why women aren’t rioting in the streets. We need to make sure women are given proper care and proper help. We need to make sure women are not tricked into doing this, and that if they get pregnant and decide they don’t want the baby, they’re not villainized for having an abortion. I’m in a depression because I don’t see a way for it to get better for women without massive amounts of change. I’m one of the very lucky few — for most people, it’s even worse, and I can’t imagine that. I’ve never felt more militant about women’s rights, abortion rights issues and health care issues than I have after going through a pregnancy.
Photos by Louisiana Mei Gelpi; Art Direction by Emily Zirimis.
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