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urlocalllama · 2 years
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Barely Surviving
A RotTMNT fanfic by Emily aka @urlocalllama
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The fic where everyone has a breakdown except Donnie because Donnie is taking care of everyone - We cut to moments after Leo was pulled from the portal, and his injuries aren't looking pretty. Mikey and Raph aren't doing well, either, leaving a lot of responsibility on Donnie's shoulders. | Author's Note: This is going to be part of an unnamed AU that I'm working on, I just don't have a good name for it yet.
Donnie hadn’t been thinking when he had rushed into hugging Leo with the others - he had been too relieved that he was alive - Alive! After all that! - to think about the consequences.
Until Leo groaned in pain. 
“Leo?! Leo, wait, you’re injured aren’t you?!” Donnie gasped, frantically pulling the others off of him, “What did it do to you?!”
“Just a couple punches, nothing worse than getting mugged,” Leo laughed weakly, devolving into a fit of coughing. He clamped his hands over his mouth as he hacked, but when he pulled away there was blood all over his hands. 
“Internal bleeding,” Donnie tried to observe calmly, feeling his voice waver, “That’s not good.”
“Internal bleeding? Isn’t that where blood’s supposed to be?” Leo tried, but Donnie knew he knew better than that. 
Leo’s always been the first aid guy, dumping himself into learning how to at least fix himself up once he pulled off his dangerous stunts, so he KNEW what internal bleeding was. 
So why was he still cracking jokes?!
Wait. 
“Raph, prop him up a little, I need to get a good look at his eyes,” Donnie said, “I think he might be…”
“Concussed?” Leo finished his statement, blinking blearlily as Raph leaned him against himself. 
“Correct.”
“Yeah, I’m concussed, I can barely see you.”
“And your vision is unfocused and your eyes are cloudy. As for the rest of you-” Donnie pulled down his goggles and flipped it into medical analyzing mode, “-Holy mother of sasparilla how are you not dead?!”
“How bad is it?” Raph whispered.
“Several fractured bones, broken ribs, an almost punctured lung, severe blunt force trauma, and enough blood loss to kill a grown man! I think you only survived because we’re mutants!” Donnie said, his voice rising in pitch, “Leonardo whatever you do, do not pass out. Don’t close your eyes, don’t fall asleep, don’t!”
“That’s outdated information,” Leo slurred.
“I don’t have the time to confirm that so stay awake!”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Guys, I just got off call with April and Dad!” Mikey said, scrambling back to them (Donnie hadn’t noticed he had split off, he was more concerned about his brother dying), “They found the turtle tank, repaired somehow, and are heading our way now! Is Leo in-in-” Mikey snapped his fingers as he tried to think of the word, but settled with, “Is he gonna be alright?!”
“He should be dead, but he’s not somehow. I don’t know, but he appears to be stable.”
And just as he said that, Leo started coughing up blood again.
Mikey covered his mouth, tears starting to flow again, and Donnie tore himself away from Leo for a moment to wrap his little brother in a hug.
“It’s gonna be okay, Mike,” He soothed him, “We’ll get him all fixed up back home and he’ll be in fighting condition in no time. For now, we need to stay put until Dad and April get here.”
“What about Casey?” Leo coughed.
“He has your swords, and he's heading back to the lair,” Mikey explained, “I don’t- I don’t think he knows you’re alive yet. I wasn’t able to talk to him.”
“Better stay alive long enough to surprise him,” Leo smirked, “...Got any ice? My head could use some.”
“Not right now, but we’ll keep that in mind when we get you back. Also, it was perfect timing that I added an auto repair function to the tank or who knows how long we’d be stranded here.”
“Raph, lay me down flat and prop my feet up, I’m going into shock.”
“Promise not to close your eyes?”
“Promise.”
Raph followed his instructions, with Donnie and Mikey at his head. Donnie had his fingers on his pulse and Mikey was holding his hand while wiping the sweat away. They could only sit there and listen to his strained breathing and watch as the bruises on his limbs and face started turning purple, his left eye starting to swell shut. 
“Are you guys alright- OH MY GOD!” April screamed, launching out of the tank after skidding it to a stop.
“What’s going on-” Splinter rushed out after her, then gasped, “LEONARDO!! You’re here! You’re alive! You’re- you’re-!”
“We need to get him to the med bay back home ASAP or that won’t be true for very long,” Donnie explained, “Raph, gently now…”
Donnie guided Raph through lifting up Leo to keep him as level and uncrunched as possible before letting Mikey help him watch his step while he raced ahead into the turtle tank…
“Please be online, please be online, please be online… oh god, I haven’t had enough time to test this, please work…” Donnie whispered as he frantically punched through the controls on the far right wall, breathing a sigh of relief as the wall swung down to reveal the miniature medbay he installed just two days ago. 
“When’d you-?” April started, “Doesn’t matter, let’s get him on it.”
“...You installed straps on this thing to keep the occupant from flying off, right?” Leo asked, flinching as he was plugged into the life support machine, “Also, give me oxygen, I’ll have less brain damage if you do that.”
“Yes, I installed straps, and thank god you’re still conscious or I’d never have remembered to do that.”
“And a blanket, I’m still in shock and blankets help. Not under the straps, though, over it. If you need to take care of me, you’ll want that thing loose.”
“Good thing Mikey insisted on having a blanket storage a while back; grab one, would ya?” Donnie asked Mikey as he gently slipped an oxygen mask over Leo’s face and turned on the machine. He hadn’t thought to check to see if there was actually oxygen in the tank and he had a moment of panic… however after some sputtering a steady stream started to come through and he could see Leo starting to breathe easier. 
“I thought we’d be having sleepovers, not medical emergencies,” Mikey hiccupped, “But I-I’m glad we’re getting a real use out of my silly idea…”
“It’s not silly, Mikey,” Leo said gently, “Sleepovers, shock, campouts… blankets are useful. It was good thinking.”
“No jokes…? Oh, you really are in shock,” Donnie said as he finished strapping him in, making sure that he could slip a finger underneath the straps. 
Mikey draped a blanket over Leo. Then he burst back into sobs and pressed himself against his chest, a knuckle white grip on the blanket. 
“Ease up on the pressure there, Mike,” Leo coughed, “That almost knocked me out.”
“I-I-I’m s-sorry but-but I thought I’d-I’d never see you again!!” He sobbed, drawing himself back and hugging himself.
“Donnie?” 
“...Yeah, Leo?”
“Look at Mikey’s arms. I think they’re burned.”
Mikey’s eyes snapped wide open, and he bolted to the other side of the tank, “Nonono, I’m fine, help Leo I-I- it doesn’t hurt that bad or anything and-”
“...How did you know?” Donnie asked.
“Wave of heat when he pounced on me,” Leo explained, “Burns, especially infected ones, stay hot for a while.”
“...Is this a bad time to say that I’m slowly losing feeling in my right arm?” Raph whispered.
“Nerves being pinched after the kraangification,” Leo guessed, “Straighten out your arm with your palm facing out, then bend at the elbow, slowly, to try and get the nerves back into place. If that doesn’t help after doing it a few times, you might need surgery. Mikey, let Donnie look at your arms.”
“...No?”
“Mikey, please?”
“...F-fine. B-but pl-please be g-gentle…”
“I’ll take care of you, I promise,” Donnie assured him, sitting him down.
“Are we stable? Can I get this thing moving? Because I’m going to have several heart attacks if we don’t get y’all to the medbay pronto!”
“Take us away, April.”
<<>><<>><<>><<>>
Donnie woke up to the sound of glass breaking. 
He looked around wildly, feeling the plush surface under his arms and the hard chair he was sitting on and hearing the sounds of strained but steady breathing…
Ah, right. He had fallen asleep after patching up Leo. 
Although patching up was a soft word to describe ‘being coated in bandages and having limbs reset with splints and oh god his windpipe was also damaged, time to schedule a surgery while putting a high-tech trachea splint in place to keep him breathing’. 
Not that he’s been able to actually schedule the surgery, there’s not a lot of medical facilities that treat mutants and the few that do are completely packed full. He’d have to… set up an algorithm to snatch the first available opening, or learn how to do it himself. 
And he wasn’t so sure on doing it himself.
Anyways, it looks like Leo’s still stable, he hasn’t slipped into a coma and is sleeping peacefully, time to figure out how that glass got broken.
CRACK.
Right on schedule. 
“Sheldon?”
“Yeah?”
“Keep a close eye on Leo, I’ll be right back.”
“Been doing that this whole time, ‘specially after you fell asleep.”
“Great, keep at it.”
Donnie slowly crept upstairs, trying to remember which direction he heard the shattering… and then he heard soft sobbing from the kitchen. 
Mikey’s sobbing.
Hands still coated in bandages after being slathered with antibacterial cream, burn cream, and aloe vera, Mikey was trying to get his hands around another glass while the two broken ones still littered the ground. The fridge was open, the jug of milk lying on its side (but still sealed) and several other things were knocked down.
“Michael?”
“AUGH!” Mikey shrieked, knocking the glass to the ground and watching it shatter.
He stared at it for a few seconds then started sobbing even harder. 
Donnie resisted the urge to say that the floor looked like his mental state once he came to terms with it, slipped on some shoes, and grabbed a broom. 
“Mike, go put on shoes. I’m not fishing glass out of your foot.”
“O-okay…”
He helped him hop over the glass mess and he watched him stumble his way through pulling on some slippers out of the corner of his eye as he swept up every piece of glass he could find. 
“H-here, I can- I can finish it-” Mikey tried.
“Nope, I’m already done. Go sit at the table.”
“I was just going to go back to bed-”
“Table, Michelangelo.”
He sank into a chair and rubbed his arms, determinedly looking at the floor and not noticing that Donnie had filled up a cup of milk and stuck a straw in it until it was slid under his chin. 
“Here you go. This… is what you were after, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Go on - drink it.”
“Okay.”
There was a moment of silence, Mikey drinking his milk and Donnie sitting next to him with an arm looped around his. 
“I-I’m sorry I broke the glasses.”
“It’s okay. Come get me next time, okay?”
“But what about Leo?”
“He’s stable, and Sheldon’s keeping an eye on him. He’d alert me if anything happened.”
“But I-I’m not that… important. Right now.”
“What do you mean? Without you we’d never have gotten Leo back. It’s only right that you get the attention you need.”
“Y-yeah. But I-! …Yeah. You’re right.”
“Of course I am. And you’re alright. Get some sleep, and don’t forget your pain medications at seven a.m. sharp tomorrow morning! You will have a terrible day if you don’t take them!”
“...Can I come get you if I can’t open the bottle? Because… I can’t… open the bottle…”
“Of course. I’m going to be up at six anyways to check on Raph. I don’t want his eye to get infected, and if I can get him while he’s sleepy he won’t be so twitchy.”
“Thanks for the milk. I-I love you.”
“Love you, too, ‘Angelo. Get some sleep.”
“You should sleep, too.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Mikey reached to pick up the empty glass, but Donnie saw a fourth glass being shattered from a mile away and grabbed it first to put it by the sink. He then shooed him off to bed and went back to his vigil next to Leo…
Who was awake.
“Good morning,” He choked out hoarsely, trying to crack a smile, “What time is it?”
“Barely turned three. I have three hours before I confront Raph about his eye.”
Leo nodded, then painfully adjusted himself so he was on one half of the bed instead of sprawled all over the whole thing.
“Come.”
“Huh?”
“Warmth.”
“Warmth?”
“Brotherly love. Snuggles. Get over here.”
“...Are you still in shock? Because you’re acting like you’re still in shock.”
“Are you still asking questions? Get over here and sleep goddammit.”
“Alright, fine! Fine! But I’m up in three hours or less!”
“That’s three hours of sleep you need, you insomniac. Sleep.”
Donnie grumbled as he climbed up next to Leo, doing his best to stay away from him as to not jab him and worsen any injuries… only for Leo to cuddle up to him and toss his blanket over them both. 
“Also, I need this,” Leo mumbled, tears budding at the corners of his eyes, “I need this.”
Donnie pulled his head onto his shoulder and closed his eyes, only to have them almost thrown open again at the icy cold realization that there had been a real chance this wouldn’t have ever happened.
He’d never have been in the same room as Leo ever again, much less sharing a bed. 
So, well, screw it! 
He rolled over, tossed an arm over his brother, and drifted off to sleep…
<<>><<>><<>><<>>
Creak…
“Raphy? You awake?” Donnie asked tentatively…
He was answered by the low sawing of his snores - they weren’t loud, but they were deep and previously irritated the life out of him during the brief time they shared a room together (they hadn’t always had the sewers or the old subway, all they had was that dinky two-bedroom apartment in the abandoned complex). 
“Oh, good,” He mumbled, pulling out his phone and fumbling through connecting it to his bluetooth speaker, “First things first, the music…”
He almost mistapped on his bass-boosted techno playlist, which would’ve resulted in a nightmare scenario because Raph HATED his music; but instead scrolled down to the playlist Leo shared with him called ‘Relaxin’ Raphy Tunes’ which, according to him, kept him calm during being patched up. 
“Good morning, my sweet Raphael…” Donnie whispered as he hit play, “I’m here to look at your injuries and keep you from going blind…”
A gentle, calming melody infected the air. It was soothing, and had Donnie been lying in bed he would’ve fallen asleep very quickly. Raph’s breathing had already been somewhat calm, but it became ultra-mega calm within seconds of hearing the song. 
Donnie placed the bluetooth speaker on his nightstand and gently rolled Raph onto his back, lightly shaking him awake…
Raph blinked stupidly with his unbandaged eye, and a smile slowly crept over his face, “Hi Don, what’s up?”
“Nothing much, how was your sleep?” Donnie distracted him as he slowly unbandaged his eye.
“It was surprisingly good. I had this weird dream about chasing down baby bunny-rabbits to bring them to a picnic I had made for them, but they kept slipping away and trying to get into a garden - I think it was Mikey’s garden - and…”
Raph didn’t notice Donnie cleaning the wound around his eye as he struggled to remember the dream, but flinched a little when he put some antibacterial on it.
Things are going smoothly…
Well, they were until now. 
“Wait… what are you doing to my face?”
“Raph, this is going to suck, but I need you to stay calm,” Donnie said, “Grip the sheets if you need to…”
“Huh?”
Before Raph could realize what was going on, Donnie whipped out a thing of eyedrops and dropped several in his eye. Raph screeched in pain, and quickly clamped a hand over his eye.
“FU-FREAKING OW!!” Raph hissed, scrambling away from Donnie, “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”
“Antibacterial eyedrops, Raph. Remember? Leo said you needed them every day?”
“YOU COULD’VE WARNED ME!!”
“Had I warned you, you wouldn’t have let me! Also, I did technically warn you!”
“Dude, you have no idea what thoughts were running through my brain when that happened. For a second I thought I-I-I…”
Raph gulped, and tears started flowing down his face.
“I know, I know,” Donnie tried, tugging him back toward him, “But I- HEY!”
Raph shoved him off and retreated across the bed.
“I have to bandage you back up or something is gonna get in there!”
“I’ll do it myself,” Raph hissed. 
“Seriously, Raph, let me do it-!”
“No! No no no! What if I- you know I- because-!!”
“Raph. They’re gone. You broke free. Everything is going to be fine.”
“You know that I was conscious the whole time, right?” Raph whispered.
“The whole time. I punched Leo off of me and shoved you and Mikey away because I knew what was about to happen. That they were going to take me over. And if you were close by they’d make me hurt you. And I couldn’t let that happen, no matter how brief my remaining time was. And I-I nearly killed him. I nearly killed Leo.”
“...Raph, you know that’s not-”
“Don’t say it, don’t you dare say it. Don’t say it’s not my fault, that doesn’t help. It just makes me think of all the things I could’ve done to-to save you guys. I… I was nothing but a burden this entire time and I… I…”
Raph hiccupped into sobbing, and he flinched as he tried to wipe tears out of his injured eye. This only caused him to cry harder.
Donnie said a little prayer in his heart to whatever god was out there, then crawled across the bed and took his brother in his arms. 
“Yeah, maybe you were a burden, but I’d take being burdened by you any day than not have you around.”
“I almost lost you, too, y’know. Can’t a guy want to keep his older brother around?”
Raph hiccupped again, then hugged Donnie back, pressing his face into his shoulders. Donnie cringed a little at feeling his tears running down his shoulders, but there were sacrifices you made for those you loved. 
“Alright, alright…” Raph conceded, “You can patch up my eye. Just… let me hold a teddy bear the next time you give me eyedrops, would you?”
“I can even bring Mikey in so you can hug him?”
“Normally, good idea. Right now he has burns up and down his arm and I’d probably squeeze them into bleeding.”
“Fair. Bring that eye here, would you?”
Donnie gently wrapped it back up, minding his hands especially when Raph flinched. But sure enough he had it rebandaged neatly, which should prevent infection. 
“Great. Thank you, Raph. Go back to sleep now, okay?”
“O-okay… also, where have I heard this music before?”
“Leo said it calmed you down so…”
“Ohhh… that makes sense. Going back to sleep now, then.”
“I’ll come check on you later, for now I should probably scavenge the kitchen and find something Leo’s able to eat. Might have to run to a grocery store and pick up some protein shakes, but hopefully we still have some from when Mikey got his wisdom teeth removed.”
“I still can’t believe that dentist ended up being a people-eating weirdo. They were so nice at first! Really sucks, too, because we now have to find another dentist.”
“We’ll have to find another doctor anyways to see Leo, everywhere is filled up. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”
“You’ve got the brains, Donnie. If anyone can sort these things out, it’s you.”
“Thanks Raph.”
CRASH!!!
“FOR THE LOVE OF-!” Splinter yelled at the top of his lungs, before the rather loud sound of him slapping his hand across his mouth rang out afterwards. 
“You should go check that out.”
“Yeah, I should.”
Donnie skidded into the kitchen where his dad, Splinter, was rubbing his toe while a large skillet sat on the floor nearby. April was with him, and she was pinching the bridge of her nose. 
Is Splinter trying… to cook?
“I got this handled, Don, go check on Leo and make sure that didn’t scare him into hurting himself,” April said.
“I will be right back, then.”
Donnie crashed into the door of the medbay, and he heard Leo snort as he picked himself back up. Leo seemed to have previously been flattening himself to the mattress in shock, with his eyes going wild and breathing heavily. 
“Dad just dropped a frying pan on his toe, wanted to check on you.”
“Oh good… wait, Dad’s cooking?!”
“Apparently.”
“That… doesn’t make me any calmer.”
“April’s with him.”
“That makes me calmer.”
“And I’m about to go intervene as well.”
“That makes me calmest. I’m going to try and sleep again, wake me up when you’ve got something I can eat. I’ll need to eat again in two to three hours if I’m going to heal properly.”
“Noted, thanks. Sheldon, you still watching him?”
“Yup’er’inos.”
“Great-thanks-bye.”
Donnie dashed back into the kitchen to see Splinter dumping a pancake mix into a bowl. Not measuring or anything, just into a bowl.
“So uh, what’s going on?” He asked ever so casually.
“I’m making you boys breakfast,” Splinter said stubbornly.
“...Dad, it’s okay, I can-”
“No! You’ve spent all night taking care of your brothers! I will make you food!”
“Dad, you haven’t cooked anything in ages, how will you-?!”
“That is why April is here! I will make pancakes using this handy mix, she will make eggs and sausages, and you will all eat a proper breakfast!”
“You aren’t even measuring-!!”
“You don’t need to measure with a pancake mix! You just add water until it’s liquid, but not too liquid!” Splinter said, shoving the bowl under the tap and turning on the water. Donnie tried to rush over and pull it out, but Splinter was already done by the time he was halfway there.
“See? Perfect proportion.”
“It can’t be-” Donnie said, grabbing the whisk and stirring it… “Oh wait, this is the right proportion. This-this batter is perfect?!”
“I am the GOD of the pancake mix! This is how I fed you four in the mornings all the time! That, and ordering a lot of pizza. I made sure to get the pizza with the veggies, though, so you guys ate as healthy as possible on a diet of pizza!”
“Why do I have the feeling I don’t want to be in the same room as you if you ever make homemade pancakes?” April asked.
“You don’t! Now, how many eggs are you making?”
“Uh…”
“That’s two for each person, so eight for just us boys, twelve if Dad and you are eating with us. Triple that number because Raph always takes thirds. Make sure to put cheese in them, Mikey will not eat eggs without cheese.”
“Y’all put cheese in your eggs? Why not just sprinkle some on top?!”
“Mikey started it and now we can never stop.”
“Ah. Also, Don? You’re getting a Raph Chasm.”
“Oh for the love of God-”
“How much did you sleep last night?”
“Five hours! That’s like, my record!”
“GO BACK TO SLEEP!” April and Splinter yelled at the same time, “WE WILL WAKE YOU WHEN THE FOOD IS READY!”
“...But I needed to check if we have protein shakes in case Leo can’t eat this right now…”
“Good note, I’ll check and go get some if we don’t,” April nodded, “Now shoo!”
“Well, I guess I could check on Leo’s vitals again.”
“Do that then sleep.”
“...No?”
“I will knock you out myself, Donatello!”
“Okay-okay-okay!! Fine! I will!”
He almost didn’t run into the door to the medbay again, dodging one side only to run into the other. Leo laughed again, something that would normally fill him with rage but instead filled him with relief. 
“At least your personality is still intact. How do you rate your pain?”
“Solid 8. It was a 10 when you brought me in at first, but it’s eased up enough.”
“I wish I had morphine to give you, we could drop that number down to a 5.”
“We’ll do with what we’ve got. Anyways, April threatening to knock you out again?”
“Yeah.”
“Some things never change. Come cuddle again.”
“Fine-fine-fine.”
In two hours, Splinter would creep into the room and gently poke him awake, letting him know that the food was ready. He would start making his way down to the kitchen before the door would be blocked by April pushing in a folding table with Raph and Mikey not far behind. A few folding chairs would be put down, one end of the table pushed up against Leo’s bed, and they’d share a breakfast together. April would end up feeding Mikey after he kept dropping his fork, Raph would have five helpings of everything, Donnie would barely get through one serving, and Splinter would carefully cut up the food into manageable portions and feed them to Leo. 
But for now, Donnie was getting a little more rest.
Just a little more.
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judasofsuburbia · 9 months
Text
“what? hello?” steve mumbled sleepily into the phone.
“i’m going insane,” eddie nearly shouts.
steve sits up in his bed and scrubs his hand over his face. “woah woah, eds, what’s goin on?”
a high pitched wail is heard in the background and eddie is immediately cooing and shushing. steve presses the phone tighter to his ear.
“eds. eds, can you hear me?”
“i’m going insane i’m going insane i’m going insane,” eddie breathes. “she won’t stop crying steve she’s been crying for two hours—fuck, three hours. i don’t know what to do. i don’t know what to do steve.”
“who’s crying?” steve asks.
“my cousin. or my niece, maybe? i don’t know how it works. my cousin’s baby is here and she won’t stop crying.”
more crying and wailing is heard. steve has to hold the phone away from his ear when eddie gets closer to her. he can hear eddie pleading with her, trying to comfort her, to no avail.
“i need help,” eddie says. “i need help, please.”
“uh, okay. okay,” steve replies as he rolls out of bed and stumbles around his room in the dark to find some pants and shoes. “i can be there in ten.”
“make it five,” eddie nearly whines, anxiety pouring through the receiver.
“got it.”
steve’s tires screech into eddie’s driveway. his trailer is the only one with the lights still on and he could hear the baby crying from outside. he’s surprised no one has called to complain to the police station. though he’s sure callahan or hopper would simply hang up.
steve barrels up the steps and opens the door to utter chaos. toys and books scatter the ground, there are blankets and bottles strewn over surfaces (some definitely knocked over and spilling onto the floor), and baby clothes and diapers in the leftover spaces. and of course, a screaming infant.
eddie pops out of his room with said infant trashing in his arms. eddie has tears streaming down his fact too and steve’s heart just cracks.
“help me,” eddie mouths.
“uh, okay, okay,” steve is wracking his brain for any tips he learned in home economics about taking care of a baby. “what have you tried? i presume she’s in a clean diaper and…” god it was hard to think with the noise screeching in his ears. “fed her?” steve asks louder.
“yes fuck, i keep changing her and trying to feed her. i read her stories and rocked her and tried to put her in her crib. she’s so upset i don’t know why,” eddie’s voice cracks on the last word and suddenly, steve’s across the room. ready to comfort him.
“give her here,” steve says.
eddie’s eyes are panicky and wide but eventually, he hands steve the child. she continues to cry and thrash in steve’s arms so it takes a second for him to hold her properly.
“what’s her name?” steve asks.
“cheyenne” eddie responds, arms wrapped around himself like a hug. his whole body is bouncing and steve feels the urge to reach out and bring him in too but the more pressing matter is currently occupying those arms.
“hi cheyenne,” steve says gently. “seems like you’re mighty upset.”
she yanks at steve’s shirt with her little baby fists, definitely grabbing some chest hair underneath and ripping it. steve winces but recovers quickly.
“would your neighbors kill me if i take her outside?”
“probably,” eddie mutters.
“i’m going to anyway.”
steve heads for the front door and eddie goes to follow him but steve holds out a patient hand. “stay here, take a breath,” steve instructs.
eddie’s eyes well up with more tears. “but what if something—“
“then we’ll do something. right now, being around her isn’t good for you. let me take a crack at this, alright?”
eddie nods solemnly and backs away so steve can open the door.
cheyenne’s cries echo out into the night sky as steve starts to pace around the porch. steve starts to feel a little scared being alone with her but he’s more scared of what the stress has done to eddie.
so he decides to do it scared.
the baby starts to have this hiccuping breaths that pull steve out of his thought spiral. steve shushes her and props her up so her head is on his shoulder. he rubs her back with his hand, which takes up her entire back, and tries to stay calm when her cries are right next to his ear.
“you like music? 'course you do, everyone does.i don’t know how many lullabies eddie knows. his taste is a little more intense,” steve says conversationally as he continues to pace. “i don’t even think i know any lullabies. um…”
cheyenne cries with new fervor right into his neck and steve just panic sings the first song that comes to mind, “shake it up is all we know. using bodies up as we go. i’m waking up a fantasy. the shades are all the colors we used to see.”
cheyenne’s cries go down a peg, still loud but less wailing and more whimpering. steve’s heart is racing as he slowly continues the song.
“broken ice still melts in the sun. and ties that are broken can be one again. we’re soul alone and soul really matters to me.”
cheyenne keeps crying but it's getting softer by the second. steve rearranges her so she's cradled in his arms. he's blown away by how small she is. how helpless. everything must be so scary for her.
“i'm out of touch,” steve sings softly. “you're out of time. but i'm out of my head when you're not around. oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh.“
cheyenne's eyes open up and they're this big beautiful brown, just like eddie's. his breath is taken away as he keeps singing weakly. he doesn't even realize that she stops crying entirely and is just blinking at him, dazed.
it takes eddie slowly opening the front door for him to recognize the silence. he sits on the couch and bounces her gently in his arms, still humming and singing the occasional "oh's". eddie very slowly and quietly sits beside him.
steve looks up at eddie who is staring at him in awe. the same beautiful brown eyes are puffy and swollen, just like cheyenne's.
“c'mon eds, sing it with me,” steve jokes quietly.
eddie shakes his head. “i can't believe she's a hall and oates fan.”
“everyone is,” steve says simply and sings, “i'm out of touch.” he gestures to eddie to continue.
“i'm out of time,” eddie sings, looking incredibly pained to do so.
“but i'm out of my head,” steve leans his ear to the side.
“when you're not around,” eddie says flat, voice raspy from his exhaustion. it makes steve's stomach flip so he returns his attention to the near asleep girl in his arms.
they keep humming until she's fully asleep. steve leans back into the couch with a long exhale, his shoulders rubbing up against eddie's.
“you're magical,” eddie whispers.
“please,” steve scoffs.
“i'm serious,” eddie replies. steve turns his head to face him and nearly chokes from how close their faces are.
”i don't know how you do it,“ eddie mumbles.
”do what?“
”make everyone around you so calm. i feel like all i can do is make everyone stressed out,” eddie laughs weakly.
steve shakes his head. ”not true. just ask buckley, i stress her out on a daily basis.“
eddie chuckles and sniffles. steve sees his lips stretch over his teeth in a smile.
”thank you for coming over. i didn't know who else to call.“
”how did you end up with your baby cousin anyway?“ steve asks.
eddie sighs, tilting his head back into the cushion. if he leaned his head closer, he'd be on steve's shoulder. steve wishes he would.
”her mom is taking a much needed vacation and i promised wayne that he didn't need to take time off work to take care of her. that was a huge mistake.“
”you did your best,“ steve argues quietly.
”maybe but it wasn't enough.“
”hey, c'mon. don't beat yourself up. you did what you could and found help when you couldn't. it's not your fault this is her only form of communication.“
eddie smiles again and yawns. ”you wouldn't happen to have this album on cassette would you?“
steve beams at him. ”in my car, actually.“
”i'm getting it.“
they put cheyenne to bed with the big bam boom album playing softly on eddie's stereo. they stare at her peaceful form snoozing away and seem to forget how she looked not even a half hour ago.
”you should get some sleep,” steve whispers, nudging eddie with his shoulder.
“you're right, you're right,” eddie sighs. he gestures that he's gonna walk steve to the door. steve grabs his keys and turns before opening the door.
“thank you again,” eddie whispers.
“anytime. hall and oates always heals,” steve smiles.
eddie rolls his eyes fondly and shoves steve's shoulder. only, his hand doesn't move away. it splays out over steve's beating heart which is rapidly picking up speed. eddie's eyes slowly drift up to catch steve's.
“i was listening to that song yesterday,” steve whispers. “over and over and over again.”
“you must really like it,“ eddie says, a little confused.
”no. i mean, i do but…“ steve whispers. ”i was listening to it because... i start to go a little insane when i'm not around you.“
eddie's brows furrow. ”w-what do you mean?“
”can't keep you out of here,“ steve explains, tapping his temple. ”i don't know what to do. this is where i need help, eds.”
eddie's lips part in a silent gasp. he takes a step closer and rubs his thumb over steve's shirt. steve's hand comes up and covers his.
“i can help,” eddie whispers, tilting his head up so their noses brush.
that's how steve and eddie share their first kiss in eddie's living room, sleep deprived and unhurried. just four lips gently sliding over one another.
when they pull away with tired smiles, eddie murmurs, “in case she wakes up, you should probably sleep over.”
(inspired by @gothbat99 's wonderful steve harrington playlist)
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pawzofchaos · 2 months
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I'm so upset Pent finally found acceptance and a family and it was snatched away from him cuz he died for them
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achillean-knight · 3 months
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Safe Haven.
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zepskies · 7 days
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Take Me Home - Part 4
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Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 
Summary: You are another lost soul at Sunny Day Excursions. You’re aiming to settle in Helena, Montana, where Beau Arlen is the new sheriff in town. But you’ve both got a past you’re running from. 
AN: Ready for a riding lesson? 😏
Song Inspo: “Sunshine on My Shoulders” by John Denver
Word Count: 6K
Tags/Warnings: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, and a cliffhanger...
❤️ Series Masterlist
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Part 4: A Past & Future Thing
You gasped and gripped even tighter with your thighs. With almost everything you had.
You were still far too unsteady for comfort on this damn horse. The poor animal whinnied, tossing his head back with a huff. Unfortunately, that just made you tense up even more as you held onto his neck. 
Beau tried not to laugh. You looked like a cat clinging to the edge of a bath.
“Okay, you needa relax a little,” he said. “He ain’t gonna buck you, long as you don’t give him a reason to.”
You shot him a narrowed look. He was sitting all calm and natural on his own horse, a chestnut brown beauty of a stud. Apparently, his name was Clyde. You were riding his brother Dale, who was supposed to be the older, gentler of the two.
Beau was right next to you, since he was the one holding the reins. You two were still just a little way off from the stable as he guided your horse with his, letting you just get a feel for the ride.
“I’m sure you’ve heard that animals can sense our vibes,” he said, giving you a look that tipped his Stetson forward. “So if you just take a few deep breaths, I promise you, it’ll get easier.”
You met Beau’s gaze. You didn’t know if it was the smooth, steady tone of his voice or the sincerity in his eyes, but you did as he advised. You made the effort of exhaling slowly, and you began to relax.
“Okay,” he nodded with a smile. Then he gestured ahead. “Now, look forward for me. Try not to look at his hooves, though I know they’re pretty.”
He teased a smile out of you as you did what he said, casting your gaze up ahead to the horizon. It was a beautiful day. A wide expanse of terrain laid out ahead of you, with green grass mottled with some brown, and a weather-beaten trail clearly carved by horses and lessons given.  
“And like I told you,” he added, “Try not to squeeze so hard with your legs, or he’ll think you’re rarin’ to go.” 
You blushed, and relaxed your thighs enough so you were just supporting yourself on the horse, not giving yourself a leg cramp. 
“Okay, I think you’re ready for me to let go. Wanna keep going on your own?” Beau suggested. 
You were wary, but you tentatively nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
“Are you sure?” Beau asked. Again, his eyes met yours. “I’ll keep guiding you the whole way if you want. Either way, I’ve gotcha.”
You swallowed down a bit of nerves. “Yeah?”
He smiled, and you noticed how it crinkled the corners of his eyes.
“Trust me,” he said. “You’re not gonna fall on my watch.”
Warmth coiled its way around your heart. You let out another deep breath, and you agreed to have him hand over the reins to you. You were nervous at first, but Beau reminded you of how to guide Dale with subtle movements.
The old horse plodded forward without incident. When you gave Beau a triumphant look, that answering grin of his warmed you down to your toes. The two of you rode together more as companions while making your way across the grassy plain.
“So of all the things, why’d you wanna learn to ride a horse?” Beau asked.
“Because it terrified me,” you replied honestly. “I love animals, don’t get me wrong. Riding one though? They’re unpredictable…but I’m also tired of being afraid of what I can’t control.”
Beau nodded. He could certainly understand that.
Together, you traveled up a roaming hill. Once you reached the peak, you marveled at the view. The afternoon sun was bright and golden above the mountains and the distant line of trees.
Meanwhile, Beau glanced at you. You’d gotten more confident and comfortable in what you were doing, and it was endearing to see. You were cute, he could admit. Beautiful, as a matter of fact. You had the sun shining in your eyes, and on your hair getting tousled by the chilly breeze.
You also seemed to have a kind heart. He’d seen it in just how hard your friend’s death had hit you. He saw it again when he helped you move into your apartment. He saw the joy you took in cooking dinner for all of them after a long-ass day, even though you could’ve just ordered a pizza.
It was the little things, he thought, and the more he saw of you, the more he liked.
That thought also made his heart twinge, and not in a good way. Carla reared up in the back of his mind. He wasn’t sure if it was more with annoyance or guilt at this point, but she’d moved on a hell of a long time before he had anyway. (Beau could admit that point, just to himself.)
It just made him wonder what he was doing here with you. Was it just because he knew you were having a hard time, and he wanted to cheer you up? Was it because you were Denise’s family? Or was it because…he just wanted to see more of you?
“You don’t get this view in the city, huh?” Beau asked. 
“You do not,” you replied. Your smile grew, making his do the same without him realizing.
Inside though, he wanted to shake his head at himself. You were a bit younger than him. Maybe not by all that much, in the grand scheme of things, but he was in his mid-forties, divorced with a sixteen-year-old daughter, and a somewhat unpredictable, occasionally dangerous job. At this point, he wouldn’t exactly consider himself a catch.
You were also dealing with a complicated past of your own. You’d been through a lot, especially in the past couple of weeks.
And yet, Cassie’s probing questions circled through his mind, invading his thoughts every time he found himself looking your way. 
Your face slowly dimmed. “Next week is Mary’s funeral. I’m going back home for a few days.”
Beau processed that with a nod, but he could guess why you looked worried. 
“And your ex?” he asked.
“He’s going to be there for sure. We were all close.” A deep breath rushed out of you. You peeled your eyes away from the view and looked over at him. “God help me, I don’t want to go home…does that make me a bad person?”
“Nah, I get it,” he said. He regarded you with more weight in his gaze. “But this guy. Is he the aggressive type?”
“No,” you assured. Then more wryly, “He’s only dangerous to my mental health.”
You contemplated that reality for a moment, and you shook your head.
“You know how I found out about what he was doing?” you asked. “He sent me a Happy Birthday text…a spicy one, you could say. But it wasn’t my birthday.” 
“Damn,” Beau said, grimacing in sympathy. 
You tried not to, but you began tearing up. Beau wanted to brush them from your cheek as he drew closer on his horse. Instead, he settled a hand on your shoulder. 
“Hey,” he said, quiet and placating. “I’m thinking you’ve cried enough over this.”
“I just…I still feel so damn stupid,” you muttered, wiping under your eyes.  
“What, are you a Professor of Cheatin’ Bastards too?” Beau quipped. You smiled reluctantly.
“That’s not funny,” you complained. 
He flashed you a grin and allowed himself to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear when a breeze of wind blew it into your face.
“Come on. You know I’m funny,” he teased, but then, he became more serious. “It’s not your fault. Trust me, I know something about being the problem, and it’s not on you.”
Both your interest and concern were piqued.
“You and Carla?” you asked. “You’re telling me it was all on you?”
“Well, maybe not all. But like you, my ex-wife ain’t a fool,” Beau said. His eyes lowered, along with his hand from your arm. “Let’s just say, it was justified.”
Let’s just say, you contemplated. That seemed to be his favorite catchphrase.
You didn’t know if you altogether believed that. He was going to grief counseling for a reason. You wanted to ask why, more than anything, but you also didn’t want to press him on something if he didn’t want to talk about it. If he felt comfortable enough with you, someday, maybe he’d open up to you. 
So after a few minutes of savoring the view, and the moment, you returned to town together.
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A few days later, Beau still had a bad feeling about Avery.
His company was being investigated by the SEC and was threatening to go under. Apparently, Avery had made “friends” with Luke on the trip, who according to Avery, let it slip that he and Paige had $15 million in cryptocurrency.
The passcode to that $15 million account was missing. Beau had more than half a mind to think Avery had made a play for it during that camping trip. Carla hadn’t known her new husband’s company was being investigated. She’d put her foot down with Avery about the lying, at least.
As a result, Beau’s only consolation in all this was that she and Emily were back in their house, while Avery was living out of a hotel in town. Beau might not be able to pin him for the stolen crypto right now, but he knew where to look for Avery when the evidence came.
The man was #1 on Beau’s punch list, and it was only getting longer.
Instead of letting those thoughts fester, he decided to actually take his lunch break, and go check in on his daughter. Denise and Cassie told him she was doing well as their summer intern.
Emily seemed to be enjoying her time helping the private investigators. She showed him her small workstation beside Denise’s desk, where she was organizing old and new files, inputting the hard copies into digital ones on Cassie’s spare laptop. Emily was also helping out with some database research on existing cases.
Satisfied that she was helping out, but wasn’t doing anything too close to actual police work, Beau took the opportunity to lean over to Denise and discreetly ask about you.
Namely, how you were doing, and if you’d called her from Chicago. He managed to hold himself from asking when you were coming back to Montana, at least.
Denise still gave him a certain smile.
“Yeah, she called yesterday. She’s coming back today actually,” she replied. “I’m planning to pick her up in a few hours.”
Beau’s lips twitched at a smile, and he nodded. “Good. That’s uh…that’s good. Tell her I said ‘welcome home.’”
Denise and Cassie shared a look, one that drew even Emily’s attention. She shot her dad a glance and noted the dumb smile on his face. One that he tucked away when he met Emily’s gaze.
“Anyway, looks like you’re doing all right here. You’re coming to stay with me tomorrow, right?” he asked her.
“Yeah, sure,” Emily agreed.
“Okay, kiddo. See ya then,” Beau said. He gave her a hug and kiss to the side of the head. Though she gave him a hug back, she watched with a bit of suspicion after he said goodbye to Cassie and Denise, strolling out the door like he was making some kind of escape.
The adults again shared a look of mutual understanding. Then Cassie smiled and grabbed her work bag.
“All right. I’ll be back in a bit. Need to check on a few leads,” she said.
After Emily and Denise waved her off, the latter made some tea and returned with a mug each for her and Emily. Denise reclaimed the seat behind her desk, but she turned towards the girl beside her.
“So, hun, how’re you doing?” Denise asked. “I mean, I know you’ve gone through a lot these past couple weeks, and we’re happy to give you a little distraction here. But are you okay?”
Emily bit her lip and turned her rolling chair towards Denise. She had to take some time with her answer. Ever since coming back from that camp, she didn’t know if she’d really answered that question honestly—not for her mom, or her dad.
“Well, on one hand, Mom kicked Avery out. Or, I guess he kicked himself out,” she said. “On the other hand, my mom and dad are getting along better than they have since before the divorce, so…there’s that.”
Emily rested her elbow on the desk in front of her, head in hand. Denise gave her a sympathetic half-smile.
“I don’t hate Avery,” Emily admitted. “I actually like him a lot. He made Mom happy again. But would it be nice if she and my dad…if we could be a family again? I mean, yeah.”
Denise was patient as she listened. She tried to keep her true thoughts on the matter inside as you came to mind, though she pushed all that into the background in order to give Emily her undivided attention. 
“At the same time, I don’t know,” Emily shrugged. “My dad’s a great person, but he’s not good at letting people in. I don’t think Mom could go through that again.”
“Go through what?” Denise asked. 
“The way my dad shut us out, after what happened to his partner,” Emily explained. Her face went from slightly sad, to wry. “Okay, yeah, my mom’s not the most patient person. But Dad still doesn’t talk about it, not even to Mom. Or to me.”
Denise had heard some small thing about Beau’s former partner from you, and even Jenny, but she didn’t know the specifics there. All she knew was it laid at the heart of Beau and Carla’s divorce.
“Well, he’s your dad,” Denise said with a sigh. “He wants to protect you, even if that means protecting you from himself.”
“Sure, okay, but he doesn’t have to though. Not all the time,” Emily said.
She could be a strong, even-keeled kid, mature for her age, but Denise saw the rare vulnerability in the girl’s eyes.
“Sometimes I wish he’d just talk to me,” Emily said. Her eyes fell away.
Denise’s heart broke for the girl. Not knowing what else to say, she scooched her chair forward and pulled Emily into a warm hug.
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By the time Denise picked you up from the airport and dropped you off at your apartment, you were beyond exhaustion. Coming home from a week in your hometown in Chicago left you feeling drained. Physically, emotionally, down to your toes.
At least you were home.
It was a surprising feeling—the feeling that this was your home now. Already it felt real.
Seeing your ex will do that to you.
“So how was it?” Denise asked. She’d graciously made you dinner as well, so you didn’t have to cook or worry about eating out. You two sat on the couch in your living room while some romcom played in the background.
“Everything I thought it would be,” you replied, around a mouthful of meatloaf and mashed potatoes. You let out a heavy sigh.
It had been good to see your parents, you explained, and you’d finally been able to give your condolences to Mary’s parents in person—at the funeral.
That’s where Michael tried to corner you to hash out what would’ve been yet another argument, at the burial of all things. You had to restrain yourself from making a scene in front of Mary’s entire grieving family, as well as yours.
Denise shook her head. “That guy ain’t got an iota of shame.”
You snorted. “You’re telling me?!”
You shook your head and speared at your green beans with your fork. You couldn’t even mourn your friend in peace, for God’s sake.
“Did your parents try to get you to stay longer?” she asked.
Again, you scoffed. “Oh, yeah. They actually tried to use Mary’s death to get me to think Helena was more dangerous than Chicago.”
While you’d understood their point to an extent, your home city still maintained one of the worst crime rates in the U.S.
“Still think you made the right decision?” Denise asked. “Whatever’s in your heart about it, just know that I’m so happy to have you here.”
She took your free hand and squeezed. You managed to smile, if just a little.
“Yeah. I think so,” you replied.
Chicago would always have a place in your heart, but for better or worse, this was your new start. And you were taking it.
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You woke up the next morning to a shiny new text message. Still bleary-eyed, you unlocked your phone, and you just had to smile.
It was from Beau Arlen, you were pleasantly surprised to find.
Hey there. Heard you were back in town. (Welcome home, by the way.) Just wanted to let you know that me, Cassie, and Jenny are hitting a bar tonight after shift. You’re welcome to join in. Say around 8?
Without even really thinking about it, you typed out your reply:
Sure! I’ll be there. (And thanks very much. It’s nice to know the county sheriff rolls out the welcome mat for all of Helena’s returning citizens.)
You got up and started your day. You were midway through brushing your teeth when your phone buzzed on the bathroom counter. Your lips curved into a smirk when you read Beau’s reply.
Sounds good. (And I’m happy to oblige. 😉)
You shouldn’t have been blushing at such a simple message, but it set off the butterflies regardless. You huffed and set down your toothbrush.
Damn it.
You were in trouble.
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With such a nice start to your morning, you were smiling all the way into town. The place you were headed to was just down the street of Dewell & Hoyt, so you knew you had to stop in just to say hello. There you found Denise and Emily.
“Did you have a good trip?” Emily asked, after you let her go from a hug. You gave your aunt one next.
“It was…good,” you replied, with a sigh. “Mary’s at rest now.”
Your eyes stung at the thought, but you tried to blink past it, taking in a breath to steady yourself. While Denise rubbed your back, Emily squeezed your arm in comfort, leading you to give her a smile. She was a sweet girl.
“What brings you over?” Denise asked.
You shook your head to come back to yourself. You showed them the large bag you carried on your shoulder. It was full of your painting supplies.
“Well, I’m actually headed to an art studio just down the street. I looked up the lessons they were offering this week, and apparently today it’s painting on glass. Like a bowl, or a mug, or a little stained glass window. They’ve got different options.”
Emily looked intrigued. “Ooh, that sounds cool.”
“Yeah?” you said, raising a brow. “You’re welcome to come with me if you want. Unless my aunt can’t spare you, or you’d rather not. It’s fine.”
There was no pressure to your offer, but you remembered Emily being somewhat interested in your painting endeavors while on the camping trip. With everything the girl had been going through, you thought maybe she’d like something creative and fun to try to get her mind off things. You knew it was doing the same for you.
“No, that would be fun, I guess,” said Emily. She looked to Denise in askance, who waved a dismissive hand. 
“It’s okay, hun. Take the afternoon off,” she said. “I’ve got things here.”
Emily smiled and nodded.
“Okay. Let me just grab my stuff.”
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You and Emily ventured together right down the street to the art studio. You paid for the $40 entrance fee each for you and Emily into the class.
You could see that she felt uncomfortable with that when you two took your seats near the back of the studio. It was pretty full, and neither of you wanted to be right at the front, preferring to hang out more chill-like in the back.
There at each long table was an easel each, after you chose what kind of glass you wanted to paint on. Emily chose a funky looking bowl, while you chose a rectangular piece of wood-framed glass.
“I’ll pay you back,” Emily said, once you two were comfortable in your respective seats. You waved her off.
“It’s okay, honey. I invited you,” you said. Then you gave her a conspiring look. “Here’s my rule of thumb, especially on dates, for example. The person who invites you should shell out.”
Emily smiled. “That makes sense to me.”
You saw the gears in her mind turning, and it reminded you of her little “summer project.” She’d told you about it a couple of times on that camping trip.
“How’s your podcast going?” you asked. The girl sighed; she chose a brush and started painting blue stripes across her glass bowl.
“Slow,” she admitted. “I’m lacking interesting subjects.”
You hummed at that. “Maybe you need a guest to help kick things off.”
Emily smiled at that. She turned to you with a gleam of excitement.
“Would you do it?” she asked.
Your mouth fell open in surprise. “Me? I think I’d be too boring. Isn’t your podcast about relationships?”
“Well, yeah, but that was a good bit you just had,” she said. “Who pays on a date?”
You thought about it with another hum of contemplation. Suddenly you could start to see the potential in her idea. You still didn’t want to be a subject of inquiry, but you didn’t want to dim her spark either.
“Well, it would be fun if you got a man’s perspective too,” you said.
Emily brightened. Finally, someone who cared about her side project. 
“What about Dad?” she said. “He’s a guy.”
You chuckled. “Well, yes.” 
Though you wondered about the last time he’d been on a date since his divorce, or if he even was dating right now. 
The more you thought about it, the more interesting it might be to see Beau answer some of those kinds of questions. It wasn’t at all because you were curious about the man yourself…
“Maybe you’re onto something there,” you said, a smile growing on your face.
“I’ll ask him,” Emily vowed. “Maybe he’ll actually open up for once.”
She sort of muttered that last bit. It caught your attention with a wry brow raise.
“What? Your dad is as chatty as they come,” you said. Emily rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, about dumb stuff,” she said. “Try to get anything serious out of him. He’s like an old clam.”
A snort of laughter escaped you. “Old clam. That’s nice.”
Though you saw that there was something deeper there for Emily. You’d seen these kinds of moments in some of your students before. Sometimes, they felt comfortable enough with you to share what they were going through at home. In Emily’s case, it seemed like she was hurting about something, maybe for a while now.
You continued painting on your glass project, but you offered her a look of understanding.
“Remember how I told you that my dad used to be a firefighter?” you said. Emily nodded.
“Well, your dad sounds a bit like mine. He’d rather consult a bottle of Jack Daniels than anyone else, really,” you confessed. “He saw a lot of things on the job that were hard. Too hard to explain. Possibly too hard to even work through. It made him…distant, when I was a kid. I don’t think we really connected until I got older.”
And even now, your relationship with him was rocky at best, after he’d suggested you try to work it out with Michael. You and your father hadn’t truly spoken ever since.
You still gave Emily a look of encouragement.
“But, it seems like you and your dad have a better relationship than I did with mine at your age,” you said.
That fell between you both while Emily ruminated in it. She started adding gold strokes to her bowl alongside the blue in swirling patterns, and it was a really nice touch, you told her. She thanked you with a little smile.
“Did my dad tell you that he lost his partner on the job?” she asked.
You sighed. “Yes, he told me some. We didn’t go too deep into it.”
“Well, for a whole year, it was like we barely existed,” she said. “Mom tried to help him. I tried…but I guess he was a lot like your dad.”
Your lips pressed together. You were sad to hear that, but it did remind you of what Beau told you that day, when he took you horseback riding.
“Well, maybe not all. But like you, my ex-wife ain’t a fool,” Beau had said. “Let’s just say, it was justified.”
You now nodded in understanding as you hummed. Let’s just say.
“He seems better now,” you remarked. 
“Yeah. He cleaned up when Mom left him,” Emily said. “I guess that’s what it took to snap him out of it.”
You shook your head, and you kept painting.  
You could understand Carla, all too well. It just hurt you, now that you knew what a good man Beau was. Your sympathetic heart said he didn’t deserve to get left behind when he needed his family the most.
However, the more logical part of you knew that sometimes, love just wasn’t enough to keep you tied to someone who didn’t seem to want to help themselves. When it felt like they were giving you no choice.
“Anyway, you’ll be my other guest, right?” Emily asked with a smile. “For the podcast.”
You barely resisted the urge to groan. As much as you preferred not to put yourself out there, you didn’t want to discourage the girl in her project.
“Well…okay. If you get your dad on, I’m sure it’ll be interesting,” you said, your lips forming a grin. You two continued to paint while chatting about Emily’s favorite subjects in school. English, sadly, was not one of them, but you weren’t offended by it. Shakespeare wasn’t for everyone.
“I’m actually meeting your dad for drinks tonight. If you want, I’ll ask him about being on the podcast, try to soften him up for you,” you offered. “Though I’m sure he’ll do it if you asked.”
Emily considered you with a bit more scrutiny. “Are you…seeing my dad?”
“Oh, no,” you said immediately. Just the suggestion had your cheeks warming. “Cassie and Jenny will be there too. It’s nothing like that.”
“Sure,” Emily said. She gave an awkward laugh. 
“Really, Em. He and I are just friends,” you promised. 
Even if that thought stung a little.
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Despite what you told Emily, you did put a fair amount of effort into your appearance to meet your new friends that night for drinks.
You even put on your favorite red lipstick with some dark wash jeans, a black pair of ankle boots, and a black lace top to match, complete with off-the-shoulder sleeves. 
Cassie whistled lowly when she saw you walk into the bar from her seat in one of the booths. She smiled and nudged Beau, whose face slackened when he saw you. 
God help him, you were sexy as hell in black. 
Black lace, he corrected himself. Your hair was a bit wild and teased out. The flash of red was a pleasant surprise, momentarily drawing his eyes to your lips. He felt the back of his neck heat up, but he tried to hide it all behind a friendly smile. He found himself sliding out of the booth to hug you in greeting. 
Goddamn, she smells good too, he thought. Was that your perfume, or your shampoo? Whatever it was, he liked it more than was good for him.
He managed to let you go though, and he grinned at your somewhat shy smile. You moved on to greet Cassie next, then Jenny, before you slid into the booth next to her and across from Beau and Cassie. 
“How was Chicago?” Jenny asked. It brought the mood down some. You gave a true smile, however tinged with melancholy. It was still very difficult to talk about Mary, but since everyone at the table knew the full story, it was easier to be honest.
“Chicago was needed. It was good, in a way. I got to lay her to rest,” you replied. “But I’m glad to be back.”
“Glad to have you back,” Cassie said. She passed you a tequila shot. 
“Ooh, nice.” You weren’t usually one for hard liquor, but tonight, you thought you could let yourself go a little. You downed the shot in one. 
“Eyy, good job,” Beau said, raising his whiskey with a wink. You laughed in slight embarrassment and wiped the corner of your mouth.
While Cassie called over the closest server to get them started with some appetizers for the table, you turned to Beau.
“You know, I did a painting class with Emily today,” you told him. “She did great! Has a nice little bowl to put her jewelry in.”
He raised his brows, smiling. “Is that so? What do you know. My little girl’s a budding artist. Is she gonna go all broody and steal even more of my vinyl?”
You shook your head in amusement.
“She’s a teenager. They don’t need any excuses to be broody,” Jenny remarked.
“Fair enough,” Beau chuckled.  
“Actually, she asked me to be on her podcast,” you said. “She wanted to see if you’d join in for a segment.”
The man looked uncertain at that. You understood his reservations, because you had the same ones. Cassie and Jenny looked amused by the idea of him getting recorded and put on social media by his sixteen-year-old.
“Look, I know, but she just wants to ask us a few questions,” you said. “Like who should pay on a date, that sort of thing.”
Beau rested his elbows on the table and folded his hands. The humor in his green eyes shone under the soft gold lamplight.
“Well, that’s easy. I was raised to be a gentleman,” he said. “I wouldn’t feel right letting a woman pay for me.”
You tilted your head in interest. A smile started to play on your lips as you leaned forward on your folded arms.
“Huh. Well, I think whoever asks the person out should pay,” you posed. “That doesn’t necessarily mean the man pays every time.”
Beau’s lips twitched, but there was a subtle shake of his head.
“I don’t know. That just doesn’t sit right with me for some reason,” he said. 
You turned to Jenny and Cassie for some support, and they both gave Beau an unimpressed look.
“You mean to tell me you wouldn’t let me pay for my own drinks?” you asked. “I have a job. I make money, same as you.”
At that, Beau chuckled. “Hey now, I didn’t say you couldn’t pay for your own. But you’re certainly not paying for mine.”
“So in your world, I can’t ever treat my man if I want to?” you challenged.
“What, you mean to tell me you don’t like getting spoiled?” Beau countered.
When you smiled, it had an amused, almost flirtatious edge that began to make him hot under the collar. 
“Occasionally, sure I do,” you replied. “But then again, who doesn’t like getting spoiled now and again?”
“Doesn’t have to be about who pays either,” Cassie interjected. 
“It sure doesn’t,” Jenny agreed. The women laughed and clinked their drinks together, leaving Beau with a warming face under his beard. He once again chuckled, conceding defeat. 
Conversation spiraled from there, in which Jenny mentioned something about her and Beau’s latest finished case about Brett, a skydiving, former firefighter’s murder.
It was a coverup for a larger scheme within his old firehouse—where firefighters had been looting homes after they’d been cleared out of a fire. Brett’s friend had been killed on one of those jobs, and not by accident either.
“That’s awful,” you said with a frown, once she finished explaining.
Against your will, it made you think of your ex-fiancé, Michael. He was still an active firefighter. While he had been a shitty boyfriend, at the very least you’d never had reason to question his integrity as a first responder.
“Yeah, it was hard on the father too. He’s the unit chief, and the whole operation was happening on his watch,” Beau said. “One of his own firefighters killed his son. It’s damn near unthinkable.”
Beau’s mood had shifted the moment Jenny brought up this case, you noticed. He was staring mostly into his half-empty whiskey glass, as if contemplating a refill.
“We said we wouldn’t talk shop tonight,” Cassie said. She seemed to notice his downshift as well. She got up out of her seat in the booth. “Let me get the next round. Another tequila?”
“Sure,” you shrugged. You’d probably pace yourself this time.  
“Not for me, I’m good with this,” Beau said. 
He held that whiskey between his hands, and you were glad that he was going slow. Your conversation with Emily about his own bout with grief and loss was still fresh in your mind. While your heart broke for him, you were also a little worried for him. Had this latest case opened up some old wounds?
“I’ll go with you,” Jenny said. You slid out of the booth so Jenny could as well. It left you and Beau to talk, while Jenny and Cassie went up to the bar together.
Cassie tried to get the bartender’s attention, but she glanced at her friend out of the corner of her eye.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Fine. Why?” Jenny replied. But she wasn’t meeting Cassie’s gaze. She was watching you and Beau, almost in melancholy.
Cassie’s brows furrowed as she realized what was happening. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed it before, considering both of their professions. 
“Aw, Jenny…” Cassie breathed. She wondered just how long her friend had been harboring some feelings for Beau Arlen.
Knowing she was “caught,” Jenny gave a wry smile.
“Don’t. It’s not a big deal,” she said quietly. “He likes her.”
Cassie sighed. “I think so. Even if he doesn’t realize it yet.”
“He deserves something good,” Jenny said. Her smile was a bit more genuine this time. Cassie nodded in agreement.
“So does she, after what she’s gone through.”
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“So how are you doing?” you asked Beau. It was the first time you’d been alone with this man since that horse riding lesson last week, and part of you was feeling a bit nervous.
Just friends, like you told Emily. You had to remind yourself. Just friends…until evidence points to the contrary.
At your question, Beau heaved a sigh, running a hand over his face. Suddenly he looked more tired than he did before. The laugh lines around his eyes looked more like the telltale signs of stress.
“Well, first off, we found the missing backpacker,” he said. “It seems the poor young man fell down a cliff while hiking.”
Your brows furrowed and you covered your mouth with a hand. “Oh my God.”
Beau nodded in grim confirmation. His gaze met yours.
“But I also wanted to tell you this in person when you got back. I’ve also got a silver lining on our mountain man, Walter,” he continued. “He confessed to murdering Paige. He’s keeping tight-lipped about Mary and Luke, but we’ve got him dead set to rights on at least one of the murders.”
You processed that with a shaky breath. Then you nodded.
“We’re gonna keep working on him from every angle, I promise,” Beau said. Just like he’d promised you before—that he would get justice for Mary. You believed him.
“Thank you,” you said. Your gaze softened, and you contemplated laying your hand over his on the table. You just barely stopped yourself.
Instead, you cleared your throat and swiped some of your hair over your shoulder.
“Any other news, hot off the press?” you joked, trying to alleviate the heaviness in your heart. Beau quirked a smile. He leaned back in his seat and carded a hand through his hair.
“Ahh. Well…you know I’m investing my ex-wife’s husband,” he said drolly, sipping his whiskey. “And that’s going about as well as it sounds. I can’t get into the details of course…but he might be dealing in something shady.”
Your eyes widened. “Shady, or dangerous?”
Beau realized how he’d let that last bit slip out. He wished he hadn’t. Not only did he not want to worry you, but he didn’t want you anywhere near his open cases.
“I’m keeping close tabs on Carla and Emily just to be safe,” he admitted. 
Your face became the picture of concern. But before you could respond, a man approached the table, tall and lean, with a shaggy cut of dark blonde hair. He wore a pair of faded jeans, boots, and a gray and red Chicago FD shirt. 
Your face paled, and your mouth parted in surprise. 
“Hey there, stranger,” he said with a smile. 
“Michael?” you gasped.
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AN: 🫣 Yep, we're going there lol. But how did you like the horseback riding lesson? Or her little day out with Emily? Or the bit of fun at the bar, before Michael showed up?
You'll definitely be seeing more of that guy in Part 5...
Next Time:
“Michael?” you gasped. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Beau’s eyes widened. Michael was younger than him, closer to your age. And cocky too.  
“Hey, baby,” Michael said. His smile quirked with charm, but his next words were anything but charming. 
“We need to talk,” he said, raising his brows.
“We actually don’t,” you retorted in a firmer voice. Cold even. You straightened in your seat. 
Beau saw none of your softness and good humor from earlier. This was a different woman, and he was actually proud of you for standing your ground. Though he realized then that he’d never gotten on your bad side. (He hoped he never did.)
▶️ Keep Reading: PART 5
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
Series Masterlist
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bones-ivy-breath · 1 year
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Reading the writing of women from Jane Austen and Charlotte Brontë to Emily Dickinson, Virginia Woolf, and Sylvia Plath, we were surprised by the coherence of theme and imagery that we encountered in the works of writers who were often geographically, historically, and psychologically distant from each other. Indeed, even when we studied women's achievements in radically different genres, we found what began to seem a distinctively female literary tradition, a tradition that had been approached and appreciated by many women readers and writers but which no one had yet defined in its entirety. Images of enclosure and escape, fantasies in which maddened doubles functioned as asocial surrogates for docile selves, metaphors of physical discomfort manifested in frozen landscapes and fiery interiors—such patterns recurred throughout this tradition, along with obsessive depictions of diseases like anorexia, agoraphobia, and claustrophobia.
The Madwoman in the Attic by Sandra M. Gilbert and Susan Gubar
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demonicchicken1121 · 5 months
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since he doesn’t have a digestive system and can’t really eat, I think Michael would take it upon himself to try every gum in existence. Like the gum chewing was bad before he got scooped, but afterwards it reached a whole new level. He misses the familiarity and humanity of eating, so he chews gum instead. He has tried the weirdest, most vile sounding gum anyone could think of. He’s tried every flavor of every brand. Henry, Jeremy, and his other friends don’t mind because despite how much gum mike buys every month still costs less than groceries.
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I think it’d be funny if William capitalized any pronouns for Henry in his journals hehe
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aaronwhorechner · 24 days
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okay, listen. the scene where emily is getting ready to go out and meet viper and hotch comes in to check on her is so....out of character for him?
like, if it would've been jj or even penelope (honestly, probably even jordan) i'd completely understand him wanting to check in, but with them, he wouldve absolutely waited for them to come out of the locker room before asking if they were okay doing this. or at least made sure before they even started getting ready. at this point theyve used emily for her looks before, its nothing new for her.
but hotch comes in whiiiiiile she is getting dressed!! and his whole "hotch demeanor" is dropped especially in his little "oh" when she tells him she's dated people worse than viper. its not hotch coming to check on prentiss, its aaron coming to check on emily.
but what really gets me is....yeah okay he came into the locker room instead of waiting, but he awkwardly pauses instead of just being like "okay, ill see you when youre ready" or whatever after he's made sure she was okay doing this. im pretty sure the only reason she asked him about jordan is bc he didnt leave right away, he just....lingered fjdkjfdskfjds
the comfortableness between them in this scene makes me want to SCREAM and i wholeheartedly believe the writers were working their way into something with them but then paget got fired and when she was able to come back, knew right away that she wasnt staying longer than season 7. and then of course thomas got fired and they only brought paget back so that emily could take hotch's position,(WHICH HE SPECIFICIALLY REQUESTED MIGHT I ADD!!!!) so having them get together wouldnt have worked. (instead they had him date a knock off version of her - fjdskfjds im kidding i actually really liked beth)
anyway, i'm fine everything is fine
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don1t1red · 5 months
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I know that this is a very unpopular opinion but hear me out!
I think not enough people consider Corvo as an unreliable narrator. We see the story from his point of view and all we know about Jessamine Kaldwin comes from his perspective. So, to think on that, do we really know how good Jessamine was as the Empress? 
I know that she is usually portrayed as a good person if not a saint but what if it wasn't that way? A lot of people in the streets are indifferent towards her image, if not hostile; the situation with Delilah; how both Geoff Curnow and Corvo are treated because of their nationality; two hatters recalling how greatly Corvo dealt with workers uprising under her command  – a lot of things are a tell-tale signs that something is not quite right. 
And at this point I have to clarify that I'm not saying things like "boo no I hate Jessamine". No, it's actually quite the opposite, I love her character. But the way it is usually portrayed seems to be so dull and static. Let her not be a saint. 
Let her be manipulative. Let her tell Corvo that "he is not like other serkonans, he is sooo special and that's why he is where he is and not somewhere deep in the silver mine", while being (just as any nobility in Gristol) not very welcome to any outlanders. 
Let her be power-hungry and afraid to lose this power. Remember a bonecharm in her hidden room in the Tower? Who knows how it ended up here! Maybe she knew (or felt) that Delilah was coming, capable of overpowering and taking everything from her. Maybe Jessamine was so afraid to lose her posh life that she was ready to use some kind of a black magic! 
Let her be disloyal. Obviously, she and Corvo developed some kind of codependency. But along with that, she was the Empress so who could stop her from having an affair or two? And Corvo was just the safest option, with a way less unnecessary risks and questions. 
Let her be an imperfect person. 
Obviously, Jessamine could be easily born a perfect ruler and a perfect loving woman for her chosen one and her daughter. But maybe she had to learn it the hard way. 
Maybe she changed along with Corvo. Maybe the plague was a critical point for her character, maybe those months without Corvo made her rethink a lot of things. 
And isn't it tragic, finally understanding and becoming the Empress everyone wants to see in you, just to be killed the other day, because all those changes have been seen as a weakness? Have nothing but faith in your closest one, faith that these people will be more wise than she was? 
Give her some development, give her some motion! She could easily  be a saint, static point.  But in my opinion, she deserves to be not perfect but in constant motion. Trying and learning, understanding and making mistakes. She was too young when she became the Empress, she was a part of gristolian nobility, not so kind to anyone but themselves, she literally had no prerequisites to become a good person. And yet somehow she did. 
It's always so easy to be a "saint" from the very beginning. And it's always so hard to learn how to become one.
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cargopantsprentiss · 7 months
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Thinking big thoughts about step mom Emily tonight guys.
Emily learning the names of all the comic book characters Henry likes after he asks to play figures with her and she misnames one of them. JJ finding her in her office grumbling at the latest issue of a Doctor Strange comic because come on, he wouldn’t do that Jayje, this is just poor writing and JJ affectionately rolling her eyes whilst silently agreeing (she’s done exactly the same thing, learning all his favourite characters).
Emily always packing goldfish crackers in her car and in her purse because she knows they’re Michael’s favorites, and scrutinising everything she buys for apples on the ingredients because Henry’s allergic, even though they rarely ever eat at her place.
Michael calling Emily “mama” one night, sleepily, after she’s read him a story, and it sitting in Emily’s chest, her throat swollen closed, her heart full and her eyes brimming with tears.
JJ in the doorway, overhearing and having to put a hand over her mouth to stop a sob escaping.
Emily routinely worrying that people are gonna mistake her for the boys’ grandmother, so much so that it’s become a bit at work, and Morgan’s threatened to bribe the teachers at Henry’s school into saying it just to get a reaction out of her. He won’t though because he knows better than to incite the wrath of JJ.
Emily always worrying that she’s not good with the boys and that they’re going to think she’s trying to encroach on Will’s place in their lives, when secretly they both adore her and always have.
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urlocalllama · 2 years
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Lu Jitsu Jr.
RotTMNT fanfic by Emily aka @urlocalllama
After this post blew the fuck up, I figured I'd write a fic about it. Enjoy!
“AAAAAAAALRIGHT!” April shouted as she stepped into the room, “I got the package, Donnie, so we’re good to go with implementing these bad boys!”
“Perfect, I knew Quinn would deliver,” Donnie nodded, taking the box from April, “With these we should have no more problems going up to the surface!”
“Aaand what are they?” Leo asked, poking the box.
“Cloaking brooches! Advanced cloaking brooches!” Donnie said with a flourish as he opened the box.
“Like… how?” Mikey tilted his head as he was handed his. 
“Well, normally a cloaking brooch has to have some sort of predetermined setting - for example, a specific human or a teddy bear. With mutants who used to be humans, they can set it to be their previous human form. However, we don’t have those. We’ve always been turtles!”
“So what you’re saying is you’ve got some sort of special magic to give us human forms?” Raph guessed.
“Yes!”
“So how will we look?”
“It’s based on a combination of genetics and native regions. One, our human DNA from Dad, which is Japanese; and two, the fact that all of us turtles,” Donnie pulled open a map, ''Are native to this southern east portion of the United States. Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Mississippi. According to my research on the native humans that lived there, that would make us Cherokee or Choctaw, maybe even Chickasaw. Of course, that’s a rough estimate with no guarantees.”
“So you’re saying we’re Japanese-Cherokee. Approximately,” Leo said, holding his brooch up to the light.
“Yup! The magic will give us as accurate of forms as possible, of course. I just fed it some basic information,” Donnie nodded, “Well?! What’re you waiting for?! Put them on!”
Mikey slapped his on at the speed of light, and within seconds he was transformed into a human fifteen year old boy. His face, eyes, and mouth were the same shapes, but he had darker brown skin, a big ol’ nose and ears, freckles, and jet black hair that hung over his head in a style resembling those trendy K-Pop bowl cuts. He was frankly adorable, and his face was curled into a big grin as soon as he saw his reflection.
“AW YEAH! Now I can go play with the other kids! And I don’t have to give up being a turtle the rest of the time! Oh… oh, I don’t have a shell… there goes that panic instinct…”
“You can always deactivate the brooch and slip into your shell,” Donnie clarified before pinning his on. 
Just like Mikey, he kept his same face shape, eyes (including the insomnia creases), and mouth; but now he had a nose that resembled Mikey’s but slimmer with a bump in the middle, black hair with a slight purple sheen to it that parted in the middle and hung at the sides of his head, and a very nice shade of brown skin that looked almost pale next to Mikey’s. This all added up to a handsome look that was almost swoon-worthy. 
“Hey, I look really nice!” Donnie grinned, peering into the mirror, “I was hoping I wouldn’t look like a huge nerd right off the bat. Why do I feel so… cold, though? Oh, right, no shell. Raph, your turn.”
“Oh, fine. Lemme pin this bad boy on then…”
Just as big as before, looking exactly like himself; but with a large flat nose, full lips, thick eyebrows, and a shaved head that really complimented the shape of his head. His skin was the exact same shade as Lu Jitsu’s was way back in the day, solidifying who his father was. 
“Cold! Cold-cold-cold, I hate not having a shell-” Raph complained as he made his way to the mirror, “Wait, I look nice! I’ll just bundle up, screw it. Human Raph is ready for the surface so people don’t stare!”
Leo looked at his brothers as they reveled in their new human forms. They did look really nice, but… well, he liked being a turtle. He hoped that these guys didn’t get so used to their disguises that they stopped being turtles, and he really hoped he wouldn’t either. 
But, strategically, having something like this as a fallback for dangerous situations - or just grocery shopping - was useful.
So with a deep breath, he pinned his on and let the transformation overtake him.
“Leo, your tur-” Raph said, then his face went slack with shock, “Oh my god.”
“What-what’s up with Leo-” Donnie turned around, “Oh sweet Captain Crunch, is that what you really look like?”
“No way…” Mikey said, his eyes sparkling, “NO WAY!! You’re so lucky!”
“What-what? What is it? What do I look like?!” Leo said in a panic, rushing over to the mirror. He nearly jumped back in shock before he realized it was him.
His face was still his. His eyes and mouth were still his. But that hairstyle and color, those eyebrows, his skin being exactly one shade darker, the build, the stance…
He was the spitting image of Lu Jitsu. Of Hamato Yoshi. 
He was the spitting image of his Dad. 
“DAD! DAD YOU’VE GOT TO SEE THIS!!” Mikey shouted, turning off his brooch and running out of the room. 
“NO! THERE’S NOTHING TO SEE!” Leo frantically turned his off, too, turning back into himself. He then ripped it off and tossed it at Donnie, “Thanks bro for the thought, but I’m-I’m gonna have to pass.”
“Wh- Leo?! You know that these are strategically sound, and we’ll be-”
“I don’t care! Do you have any idea what people would do if I went out in public looking like that?! How bad I’d get harassed?! I just- no. No no no-!”
“Alright, what’s Mikey making a racket for-” Splinter walked into the room, and his eyes went wide, “Donnie?! Raph?! Is that you?!”
“Yeah!” Raph turned his off to demonstrate, “It's Donnie’s latest brainchild. Now we can go in public without drawing attention to ourselves. Except for, well…”
“Leo, put the brooch back on,” Donnie ordered.
“No.”
“Leo, the brooch.”
“No!”
Raph and Donnie shared a look, and with a nod Raph pounced on Leo and held him in place while Donnie pinned the brooch back on and activated it…
“No-no-no-!” Leo protested, but gave up when he felt the transformation overtake him again. 
And Splinter’s jaw dropped. 
“L-Leonardo…?” He gasped, slowly approaching him, “That’s… you?”
“I-I guess! I didn’t- I don’t-!”
“You-you really are my son aren’t you?”
“Yes! Isn’t that obvious! Are we done staring because I’d like to take this off and never put it back on!”
“Leo? Come down here…” Splinter asked gently, but in that way where you knew saying no wasn’t an option.
Leo quietly knelt down and let his father touch his human face, beholding it with wonder in his eyes… and just a touch of fear.
“I should’ve known you were most like me,” Splinter sighed, “Especially after that one incident with Big Mama. Young, impulsive, wanting to carve your own path… exactly who I was. I hope you come to understand that you have responsibilities, and that they shouldn’t be ignored… but you don’t have to do it the ‘traditional way’ either. But… what’s bothering you about looking like this, hm?”
Leo stumbled over his words for a few seconds, then answered, “One - people are going to think I’m… you. And the last thing I need is paparazzi.”
“Very true, go on.”
“And… well… I don’t… know if I’m ready to be you. You’re- you’re-” Leo choked, “An amazing, legendary warrior and-and the best Dad in the whole world and I’m not- I’m just Leo. I make fart jokes, I blow off training, I-I mess with Donnie’s eyebrow routine-”
“THAT’S YOU?!”
“Shut up, Donnie, you’re messing up a vulnerable moment!”
“-And I’m just… irresponsible. And it’s gonna get me killed one day, I know it. So the thought of just… being more like you scares me. Because that just might be the day I die.”
“...Not on my watch,” Splinter whispered, “Not while I’m alive. And especially not while your brothers are around, either. You’re a team, and we’re family. I know you’re always going to be yourself, no matter how much like me you may seem, and we’ll be here to balance you out. Okay, watashi no musuko?”
“Watashi-what?”
“It means ‘my son’. It’s one of the few words I remember my mother teaching me.”
“Okay. And… Okay.”
“Can I take the brooch off now?”
“Well, if you’re not gonna use it, can I have it?”
“Sure.”
“Great! Papa’s going to go get some of that stardom back!”
“DAD!!”
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judasofsuburbia · 1 year
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something something caretaker! steve gets hired by rockstar! eddie to look after and live with wayne. everything is set up over the phone after eddie was given his resume so eddie's never physically seen the guy but he has enough positive reviews and references that it seems like there is anybody in this world that doesn't like this steve harrington fellow.
wayne munson soon becomes his #1 fan.
wayne keeps telling eddie all about steve in their weekly phone calls. anytime eddie tries to steer the conversation into something actually about wayne's health and wellbeing, wayne manages to involve steve. says that steve's blushing face is real handsome while steve rolls his eyes and laughs to himself across the room.
"you should come home on your next break," wayne says.
"i'm planning to."
"steve really wants to meet you," wayne says with an infliction.
"well, shit, wayne. from how much you gush about him, i'm excited to meet your new boyfriend too," eddie teases.
"oh hush, you. my casanova days are over. you, however, could use someone good."
the next break eddie has, nearly six months after steve starts working for the munsons, he arrives at nearly 11pm. he's quiet as he sneaks into the house he bought wayne years ago and nearly shits himself when he sees steve hanging out on the couch watching TV. he drops his suitcase to the floor, jolting steve out of his trance.
"oh god, i'm so sorry!" steve rushes to say as eddie clutches his chest and tries to steady his breathing.
"steve, i take it?" eddie laughs breathlessly.
"yeah, hi," steve stands from the couch and holds his hand out. "nice to finally meet you."
steve steps into the light as he does this and eddie's taken aback by just how handsome he is. oh fuck, wayne wasn't just messing around. eddie takes his hand, firm and strong, and shakes it.
"sorry to jumpscare you like that," steve smiles and his eyes twinkle in the low hallway light.
"no, i should've prepared myself," eddie says. "someone hasn't been in the house either than wayne or i in....well, ever."
"don't worry, i'll try to keep mostly to myself as you two have quality bonding time," steve replies sheepishly.
eddie shakes his head. "you don't gotta do that. you're more welcome around us than anyone. i owe you so much for looking after him."
steve smiles. "you already sign all my paychecks."
right, yeah. eddie's technically this guy's boss. eddie's never really thought of it that way before. that means any plans eddie's monkey brain had in the last thirty seconds about flirting with the handsome caretaker is out the window. it wouldn't be appropriate. eddie slouches and gives steve a tired smile.
"i'm gonna turn in. see you at breakfast?" eddie asks, hopeful despite his conflicting internal monologue.
"be prepared for oatmeal," steve jokes. "it's the only thing he wants for breakfast nowadays."
eddie scrunches up his face. "you don't have any poptarts or anything fun stashed away somewhere?"
"depends. do you like brown sugar cinnamon?" steve asks.
"love it," eddie whispers.
"then yeah, your breakfast fate can be a little better," steve nudges his elbow and it lights up eddie's skin.
"thank you caretaker steve," eddie salutes and turns heel to his teenage bedroom.
over the next few days, eddie goes out of his mind. he watches steve just do his job, the job he hired him to do, and he's still going crazy over it. how steve prepares for everything, accidents and things eddie couldn't even predict. spoon feeds wayne if his hands are too shaky. jokes and messes around with him like he's family. wayne's eyes keep drifting over to eddie's when steve isn't looking, a smug little smirk on his face.
"it can't happen," eddie seethes when steve leaves the room. "you're what's important here and i need him to stick around."
"and i need you to stop moping about the country, getting your heart broken every other week," wayne retorts. "steve's a good boy. he would treat you right."
"we don't even know if he's gay," eddie grumbles.
wayne gives him an unimpressed look that makes eddie bark out a frustrated laugh. "take a look at his bedroom, kid. you'll have all your questions answered," wayne advises right before steve returns.
"jeopardy time?" steve asks, hands already on wayne's wheelchair handles.
"eddie is gonna beat us both," wayne claims.
"that so?" steve beams. eddie is glaring daggers at wayne.
"he's full of useless facts," wayne jokes while eddie throws up his hands and steve laughs joyfully.
eddie falls for steve more and more as the week goes on. he tries his best to restrain it, tries his best to never be alone with steve. catches himself from checking steve out (especially in his daily running outfit, god) and swallows flirtatious lines that nearly escape his mouth. it's hard to say no when steve invites him to watch a movie or hang out with him while he cooks dinner but he does. eddie has to be coming off like a total dick at this point but it's for the best.
steve is out running an errand so eddie finally decides to snoop only a little bit. opens steve's bedroom door and smiles at all the decorations. sure enough, there is a little bisexual pride flag sticking out of the pen cup on his desk. eddie is admiring framed photos of steve and some kids along with little handwritten camp postcards on his corkboard when steve enters the room.
"anything interesting?" steve jokes from the doorway.
"shit!" eddie yells, clutching his chest again like he did the first night. "fuck, i'm so sorry."
"don't be," steve shrugs easily. "it is your house after all. i snoop your teenage bedroom all the time when wayne asks me to change the sheets."
"still, i shouldn't be invading your privacy," eddie says with an apologetic face.
steve walks carefully over to where eddie is standing. "i don't think there is much privacy between us where wayne is concerned," steve says quietly with a kind smile, leaning up against the desk.
"i'm sorry about him," eddie groans, rubbing his hand over his chin. "he is a little pushy about my love life."
"no, i'm sorry that he's weird about us. i swear i called you handsome once and he has never left it alone since," steve admits with a small blush.
eddie's eyebrows raise. "you think i'm handsome?"
"are you kidding me? you got this whole," steve gestures in a circle, "rockstar bravado going on. hard not to admire the show."
"well, you've got a show i admire too," eddie admits, inching closer.
steve huffs, looking down bashfully. "do i?"
"mhm. smart, genuine guy with a heart of gold. makes wayne's days better. lights up a room. probably rescues cats from trees and saves drowning puppies," eddie smiles.
steve tilts his head from side to side. "i may have rescued a cat before but it was stuck under my little brother Dustin's porch."
"see? heart of gold," eddie repeats.
steve exhales deeply, twisting his mouth. "i wasn't sure if you liked me."
eddie reaches his hand over and touches steve's hand on top of the desk. steve looks up shyly to eddie's sympathetic face. "i didn't want to-- there's a power trip here, you know? like you said, i sign your paychecks. i'm not about to pull out the moves and make you feel like your job is at risk if you aren't into it."
steve nods before slowly rubbing his thumb over eddie's.
"and if i am into it?" steve whispers.
"well i--" eddie stutters.
"can i kiss you?" steve asks quietly. eddie's not sure he's ever been asked in his entire life.
eddie nods. when steve's lips touch his, it's all over. any pretense of keeping his feelings undercover blows up like fireworks underneath his skin. eddie feels as his resolve sparkles and cracks away into the air. he encourages steve to keep kissing him by pulling in his face closer. steve sucks his bottom lip in between his own when his watch beeps.
"wayne's meds," steve whispers.
"old bastard," eddie jokes. "watch a movie with me later?"
steve bites his lip and nods. "i know just the couch."
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geminison · 9 months
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modern-ish things I would like to show dishonored characters
I got inspired by this lovely post by @dogg-teethh and kinda made my own thing but with dishonored protagonists and some side characters so, low and behold
Daud
blues music in general, he would enjoy brooding while listening, and Fleetwood Mac
thriller movies, can't abide the mysteries so would be glued to the screen until the very end. would get mad if it ends on unexplainable cliffhanger
radio dramas, something to fill the silence while doing paperwork
antidepressants, no comments
rope bondage, but not in a sexual way (yeah, I've seen it in ff and thought, yep, seems like his thing)
Corvo
90s fashion, a bit awkward but appealing somehow?
David Bowie, that's so specific? complex and diverse but funky
takeout food, he doesn't really cook, has terrible eating behavior and just plainly starvs when there no food around, so that would be helpful
absurdism, whole "acceptance without humility" thing? i dunno
Lord of the Rings, a small hero with a great burden and greater stakes, it would resonate
Emily
punk rock, 80s pop, industrial and Corvo would also show her "Rebel Rebel", she would vibe with it
Satoshi Kon's movies, great female characters and a bit of insanity
comics, variety of styles and stories to tell! she did enjoy drawing while she was younger, maybe it would inspire her to pick a pencil again
asian cuisine, a lot of different flavours, I wonder how she would like it
marine biology, so much info about whales and other weird ocean creatures, again little Emily would be so happy
headphones, she would feel even cooler while jumping from one roof to another and kicking asses
Billie
airplanes, speed, freedom and views! you are already a captain of the ship, time to tame the sky!
anarchism, yeah, fuck the government!
family therapy, grab your old man by the hand and fucking go, you need it, it wouldn't be easy but please
Killing Eve
heavy metal music and jazz, Emily and Corvo approve. Daud, well, tolerates, it's a bit too much for him
Outsider
video games, all kinds of it!
DnD, especially GM role, you don't have to be a god to feel a little bit like one, and he also has this dramatic side it would def suite him
sci-fi and horror genres
techno, ambient and modern classical music
programming and hacking, he's a nosy young man, he'd like to know all your secrets, and it's just fun ehehe
Delilah
big fashion shows for stylish and powerful lady
therapy, again, no comments
expensive cars that people own and don't drive
Florence + the Machine and MARINA
iPad, Apple pencil and some software for drawing digitally
social media
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congratsyoureanidiot · 4 months
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(this gif is absolute shit my apologies. i had to get it from a youtube video😫 i will repost a more clear version of this)
chronically in love with you
emily sonnett x reader
this fic is loosely based off of my experience with pots and hyper mobile eds as an athlete. i hope anyone who reads this enjoys it😌
reader’s pov
It was nearing the 48th minute when you felt it hit, you were having a flare up right in the middle of the semifinal. Sure, you’ve had plenty of flare ups during games and you’ve played through bad days, but this was your first time having it happen in such a critical game. You groan slightly as you start to feel lightheaded and dizzy, your heart rate starting to increase.
“Fuck”, you mutter to yourself. You know you kind of need a minute to adjust to what’s happening to your body and to breathe. You don’t want to go off, however, or feel the need to quite frankly. Every other time this has happened your team gladly adapts to the situation, wanting to help in anyway they can. Sometimes you would have to go off for a second, while other times you’d stay on and just take it easy for a bit, your teammates only passing to you when necessary until you were okay to continue again. They’ve always told you that they’d have your back, all you had to do was say what you needed and they’d act accordingly. You look over your left shoulder as you’re getting back into position and see the one person that you feel most comfortable and confident that will help you in this situation. The one person that specifically promised to you that she’d look after you.
“Sonny”, you find yourself murmuring, doubting that she heard you over the ambience of the game.
sonny’s pov
The two of you had been dating for just a few weeks, Sonnett finally having the courage to ask you out. She already knew about your health problems because you had openly told the team, but she didn’t really know the exact details until she started talking romantically with you. Even before then she had always kept a watchful eye out for you, not being able to help herself due to her ever growing feelings. She had always asked how you were feeling and if you needed anything and would always be the first to notice when something was even slightly off. She would ask about your health and wanted to learn about everything that you had, no matter how complex the condition or the name was. Anytime you’d be feeling slightly more symptomatic than usual, she’d be the first to talk to you about it. If she noticed any discomfort on your part, she’d be the first to put a comforting hand on you. If you started to feel faint, she’d be the first to put her arms around you to steady you and keep you from falling. She was just always there when you needed her, and this only got stronger when the two of you got together. She seemed to know when you were feeling poorly even before you did, she’d recognize your tells even before you had time to register what was happening within your body. She’d ask if you took your medication and would give it to you if you ever forgot. If you fainted she’d be the first one to rush to your side and hold you until you were conscious and able to get up again. If you dislocated your joints she’d always comfort you as you got them put back in. She was always just there and ready to do whatever you asked of her. That’s why when you called out to her, ask weak as it was, she heard you.
“Sonny”, she just barely heard you say. She knew by the sound of your voice that something wasn’t right. She snapped her head towards you, concern evident in her features.
reader’s pov
Your eyes widen in disbelief when you realize that she heard you. In fact, you’d be a grinning mess if you didn’t feel so badly.
“I don’t feel good”, you manage to say a bit louder than you had said her name. You take a deep breath and move your legs around as you see her make eye contact with you, trying to calm your heart rate and keep your blood from pooling in your legs.
sonny’s pov
Her heart drops a bit as she looks at you and sees weak eyes looking back, worry starting to course through her body. She nods at you slightly, fully processing what you’ve said.
“Okay”, she says gently, her nods getting bigger as she turns to get into position. She tries her best to be as nonchalant as possible as she gestures to the rest of the team to cover for you. She doesn’t want to get herself too worked up about the situation and cause herself to make mistakes due to being worried about you. She does her best to keep an eye out for you while continuing to do what she needs to do for the team. She finds herself going extra hard for the next few minutes, wanting to do everything in her power to do a good job covering for you and allowing you time to take a minute to manage your health. She’ll be damned if she fucks anything up when it comes to you. She ends up being able to walk next to you as the team resets for a goal kick.
“Are you okay baby?”, she asks as she puts a hand on your lower back. She takes a look at you, searching for any signs of discomfort from you.
“Yeah”, she hears you respond.
“You sure? It’s alright if you’re not babe…I want you to take care of yourself”, she finds herself rubbing your back ever so slightly.
“I’m okay now Em, I’ll let you know if it changes.”, you respond honestly to her.
“Okay baby. I’ll be watching out for you”, she pats you on the back gently before going to the spot she needs to be in.
The rest of the game she keeps an eye out for you just like she promised, constantly looking to you and nodding to you to wordlessly ask if you’re okay. She takes pride in watching you recover and play your heart out for the rest of the game, cheering you on and giving you encouragement when she can. Once the game is over she makes a beeline to you and gives you a hug.
“I’m so proud of you baby. I know this isn’t the first time you’ve felt off during a game, but just getting to watch you work through it and all…and it’s such an important game and…I’m sure you felt a lot of pressure and…it-it was just so badass to me…I don’t know. I’m just…I’m proud to call you mine…”, she kind of chuckles.
“Don’t…don’t listen to me…uh…I’m sure you still feel like crap, huh?”, she shakes her head at her rambling and pulls from the hug to look at you.
“Yeah, it’s not as bad as it got during the game, but yeah i feel like some shit”, you tell her honesty.
“What can I do for you? When we get back do you want me to hold you or give you a massage or something? I’ll do whatever you need baby, just tell me.”, her eyes widen a bit out of curiosity as she sees a smile forming on your face.
“What?”, she feels a smile creeping onto her face, just not being able to help herself. She watches as you shake your head and start to walk towards the locker room, still smiling.
“What?!”, she says now laughing as she watches you walk away.
Later on back at the hotel she does just as she promised and tends to you and your needs. She holds you and asks what was bothering you during the game and how you managed to work through it, wanting to know in case she needs to help you or give encouragement to you while you recover. She talks with you and comforts you until it lulls you to sleep. She just watches you sleep for a long while, not believing she gets you call you hers. She feels her heart swell at the thought of spending all of her days with you and building a future with you. Even though it’s only been a few weeks since the two of you started dating, she feels like everything has just fallen into place and couldn’t imagine her life without you by her side.
“I love you baby”, she whispers into your ear, hoping that her words make their way into your dreams. She kisses you on the head and turns out the light, holding you even tighter with a smile on her face as she drifts off to sleep.
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presiding · 5 months
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for emily, music for an empress-assassin-monster, guided by a ghost. for jessamine, modern-classical songs to be dead to.
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