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#elephant trunk snake
anchovy · 2 years
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I'm a big fan of Elephant Trunk Snakes they look like a seal was turned into a snake as a punishment by a genie
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herpsandbirds · 19 days
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Elephant Trunk Snake aka Javan File Snake (Acrochordus javanicus), family Acrochordidae, Malaysia
photograph by Bryce Trevett
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snototter · 1 year
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Elephant trunk snake (Acrochordus javanicus) in Indonesia
by fatstudiorecord
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balconysnake · 2 years
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Elephant Trunk Snake
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(Images found online)
Look at this little Goblin, this is all I care about now
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What's the deal with the elephant trunk snake's skin? Why are they wearing baggy fit?
They're primarily aquatic, only coming on land for brief periods at a time, and their skin helps them catch fish! It's loose and has spiky scales so they can wrap it around fish and hold them still despite how slippery fish are.
It does make them look like their skin is too big for them
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phoethegreat · 10 months
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How could I resist drawing Potato? 🍀
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parasitepriest · 2 years
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Spends my time thinking of some headcanon where Silver is actually incredibly nervous around snakes due to his whole traumatic experience with them.
He acts like they don’t bother him but if one comes anywhere near him, he is suddenly across the room in the blink of an eye.
He just refuses to admit they make him nervous because of a few things:
1. He’s Cobra Kai. Their whole theme revolves around a fucking snake.
2. Kreese doesn’t seem bothered by them and he went through the same traumatic experience he did.
3. He has an image to uphold. He’s a teacher who loves violence, he can’t be afraid of an animal. That’s stupid.
So if someone brought a snake near him, he’d either distance himself subtly or just put someone between him and it.
Cartoon/drawn snakes are fine. Real pictures and videos are okay but can cause a little nervousness depending on the content. Real life, living snakes are a Huge No.
Just an interesting idea that I think about sometimes.
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mojavewastes · 10 months
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look at this thang . the silly
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The Lamb & The Serpent
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Lucifer Morningstar x sinner fem!reader
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Lucifer being a chaotic mess, mentions of sex, swearing, slow burn, mentions of depression, Charlie being the best supportive daughter, awkwardness, mentioned of death and violence, ducks of the rubber kind, Lucifer being awkward, fluff.
Please click -> here <- to read on AO3
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The day Lucifer manages to fuck up a perfectly good friendship by realising he wants more from you is the day he walks in on you and Angel Dust watching his latest porn video like it’s a documentary and not a three way that looks more painful then pleasurable.
It’s the middle of the day, the two of you down in the parlour, spread over the largest couch and acting like it’s no big deal to be watching a friend get split open by an aggressively large rhino looking man and an equally intimidating elephant guy whose trunk isn’t the only big thing he’s packing. Though to the little porn star it probably isn’t anything all that unusual and by the way he’s going on, talking about camera angles and lighting you would think it was some kind art piece. Anyway, it’s not the porn that has Lucifer questioning his life, though that stirs something at the back of his mind that he will circle back round to latter. Much latter. When he’s alone. Preferably in his bedroom. No what Lucifer realises is that he wants to be where Angel Dust is.
The lanky demon was stretched across the sofa, his bare feet in your lap so you could slowly rub your thumbs into his soles as you both spoke about the film like it wasn’t a crass tasteless violation of the man. It looked so domestic, peaceful and Lucifer wanted that to be you and him with a desperation he hadn’t felt in centuries. Though maybe with his head in your lap instead of his feet, your fingers carding softly through his hair as the two of you just exist together in the same shared space. Oh, he could almost feel it, the ghost of a feeling that he hadn’t had in so long. 
It was round about then, as Lucifer was just about to get lost in his little fantasy that Angel noticed he was there, eyes going wide momentarily before a suggestive smile spread across his face. He had made a rather unwanted comment about Lucifer not needing to “hide all the way back there handsome, there’s plenty of room for you to slide right in. Or maybe you want a private show? I could go for a little quality time with daddy.” Lucifer wasn’t. Interested that is. Well not in Angel Dust anyway. “Noooo. No, no, no. Non. Nein. Nee. Just no,” Lucifer had repeated himself several times, just to make sure he got his point across and pointedly ignoring Angel’s rather dramatic gasp and nonsense answer of Lucifer having broken his heart.
Whilst Lucifer and Angel had been talking you had turned to look over at him, clearly surprised by his presence but it quickly softened into something fonder, something that had Lucifers insides twisting like he was full of snakes. Had that always been the way and he just hadn’t noticed? Lucifer had liked having your attention in him for quite some time, but it was hard to tell if that was because he just liked knowing you were actually focused on what he was doing or because he got a little buzz of possessive satisfaction, knowing that he was the only thing you were focused on. Either way Lucifer didn’t dislike having your eyes on him and he would be quite happy to be the only person who held your attention in such a way.
You welcomed him the same way you always did, tipping your head forward slightly and addressing him as “my King.” Not your majesty, or Sir or Sire but as if he was your own personal monarch and oh boy, wasn’t that just something. He really liked the idea of being yours. Your anything but especially your king, your ruler, just yours in general really. Lucifer could feel his cheeks getting hotter as the realisation sank in, his grip tightening on his staff as he fought of the urge to shiver under your gaze. Oh, this was bad, so very, very bad. 
You pulled him out of his little panic by asking if he was there to see Charlie. The simple answer to that innocent question was no. Lucifer was at the hotel with the sole purpose of seeing you and hopefully convincing you to abandon whatever you had planned and help him with his ever-growing rubber duckie horde. A rather lame excuse if he had ever heard one but he was running out of legitimate reasons to get you to spend time with him more often than you usually did. He couldn’t tell you that though, so he eagerly jumped on the excuse, excitedly talking about wanting to “spend some quality daddy daughter time with my little Char Char,” and cringing when he remembered what the little spider had just said to him. It sounded off even to him, his forced cheer falling flat at the end and trailing off into an awkward laugh. You didn’t seem to notice his obvious discomfort though, smiling softly at him as you informed him that “Charlie and Vaggie are out at the moment, said something about meeting with Carmilla to discuss angel defences. They didn’t say when they would be back.” Lucifer felt his heart drop, his rather rubbish excuse at being at the hotel now completely useless thanks to his poor planning.
He was just about to make his excuses and go back to his ducks when you said the best thing, he had heard all day and asked him “do you want to stay? Angel gets a little too into his performances (hey!), and I would like the distraction when he really starts getting descriptive.” Lucifer jumped at the chance, blurting out a loud and eager yes before you had even finished talking. Both you and Angel startled at his outburst and Lucifer cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure as he told you that he “suppose I could help, though its going to cost you little lamb. Those little duckies aren’t going to count themselves.” He hadn’t expected you to agree but you had sticking out your hand for Lucifer to shake as you claimed it a deal. An innocent statement on your part but left Lucifer feeling taken aback by how easily you had agreed, then again you did like his duck collection, so it probably wasn’t that much of a sacrifice on your part.
You don’t stop smiling as you push Angel's feet off your lap, the man groaning and rolling his eyes as he moves to slump in the corner, giving you enough room to move up and leave a spot for Lucifer at the end. He feels incredibly stiff and a little awkward as he sinks into the space, sitting ramrod straight with his hands on his knees. He doesn’t know what to do, has never just casually hung out like this with people that weren’t you and he’s not sure if he’s supposed to be watching Angel Dust’s performance or if he would have been better off just making some sort of excuse and going back home to wallow in his awkward patheticness. You shift next to him, curling your legs up under yourself and leaning it towards him. Your breath is warm against his ear when you speak, sending a shiver down his spine and causing his cheeks to heat again. All you said to him was that you were “glad you decided to stick around,” before turning your attention back to the tv and starting up a conversation with Angel once more but it was enough to have Lucifer relaxing, his strained smile slipping into something softer and more genuine. 
Lucifer was still there when Charlie and Vaggie came back, except somewhere along the way he had ended up getting involved with yours and Angel’s conversation. He wasn’t quite sure how it had happened, but Lucifer had found himself deep in conversation with Angel about the importance of foreplay and how “Valentino always skips it! It’s like he doesn’t understand how to please someone. It adds to the experience, gets everyone involved really going and trust me it makes the main event that much more pleasurable. That idiot just skips to the end like he’s going to blow within five seconds of getting anything on his dick. Oh! Hey Charlie, err, how much of that did you eh hear?” It wasn’t the ideal thing he wanted his daughter to hear him talking about, but he was surprisingly having fun. Plus, he had gotten to see you blush like a maiden when he had first mentioned about the benefits of having such a flexible tongue so he couldn’t say he regretted being part of it.
Charlie had been rather embarrassed about the subject of choice, even more so when Angle piped up and informed her that he was “learning all sorts of fun things Charlie. Like did you know that most women can’t get off just from getting a good dicking, they need murph!” Lucifer had been quick to put a stop to the conversation, shoving a pillow over the other mans face and shoving him off the couch. Ignoring yours and Angels giggling Lucifer had quickly strode round the couch and towards his daughter, grabbing his abandoned hat and cane as he went. He successfully managed to distract Charlie by asking “how was your day sweetie? I heard you went to see Carmilla Carmine, that must have been fun. Tell me about it.” Charlie had started talking almost instantly and Lucifer waisted no time in gently turning her around and ushering her away from the other two and the porn that was still playing quietly on the tv. 
Lucifer was listening to Charlie, hanging on every word and taking in as much information as he could because he wanted to know everything about his daughter but then he had caught movement out the corner of his eye and all his attention had snapped back to you. You were leaving, laughing at something Angel was saying as he draped himself dramatically across the back of the couch.  You spotted Lucifer staring almost instantly, offering him a bright smile as you waved, calling out about how “lovely to see you my King,” before disappearing up the stairs towards the bedrooms. Lucifer waved back sadly, his eyes following you until you disappeared from sight. The world felt that little bit dimmer as soon as you were gone Lucifer already missing your bright smile and cheerful disposition. Whilst his attention was on you, he didn’t notice the knowing look Charlie and Vaggie shared, or the way Angel Dust rolled his eyes and collapsed back onto the couch with a huff.
The weeks after that were weird to say the least. Lucifer didn’t know what to do with his newly realised feeling or the guilt he felt about moving on from Lilith when it had barely been a handful of years since she had left. He was a bit of a wreck actually, spending far too much time with his rubber ducks and complaining about how hard feelings were to deal with. It didn’t help matters that Charlie was finding every excuse she could to push you and him together. Anything from getting him to help you with things around the hotel, to sending you to pick up bits from his home that Charlie hadn’t shown an interest in for decades. 
You were always a good sport about it when the two of you found yourselves forced together again, laughing and making jokes about it and Lucifer did join in but it was strained as he panicked about how he was supposed to act around you now that he knew that this friendship between the two of you wasn’t enough. It was confusing and complicated, not helped by the fact he had no idea how you felt about him. Lucifer knew you liked him, at least as a friend but that was very different to liking him enough to let him smother you in kisses and worship at your feet. 
He had been out of the dating game for so long now, well actually he had never really been in it considering he had fallen for and married the first woman he had come across. He had zero experience with this kind of thing, and he highly doubted offering you an apple was going to do anything apart from make sure you were being fed. As much as it pained him to admit he needed help with this and there was only one person he felt comfortable enough with to even bother asking about this kind of stuff. 
Charlie was over the moon when he had finally managed to drag her away from the hotel and gotten out what his problem was. Lucifer could admit to himself that he had been worried about how she would react, fearful that she would think he was betraying Lilith, but Charlie had amazed him once again because she had been “so happy for you dad. I was, well after mum leaving you kinda closed yourself from everyone and I worried that you would you know, end up all alone. But not now! I mean look at you, going outside and talking to people. That’s amazing progress dad.” That had broken his heart a little, knowing that Charlie had been so worried about him ending up alone. Lucifer had done the only thing he could think of in the moment, pulling Charlie into his arms for a hug whilst thanking her for looking out for him and reassuring her that as long as he had her, he would never be alone. 
Charlie had laughed it off, brushing away her tears as she insisted that she wasn’t going anywhere. That had gotten Lucifer welling up, happiness welling up inside his chest until it felt like it was going to burst. He had been so worried that he had messed it all up with Charlie, convinced that no matter what he did it was never going to be enough to make up for the distance that had existed between them nearly her entire life but hearing her say that had been, well it was the best thing he had heard since Lilith had told him she was pregnant. It had been a rather emotional moment for the both of them, but it had brought them closer together. The gap between them that much smaller. 
The rest of his visit had been spent with Charlie coming up with a plan on how to win you over, convinced that Lucifer stood a real chance at taking possession of your heart. Lucifer wasn’t so sure though. Sure, he could be confident and charming but that came from being king and so much more powerful than everyone else stuck in the infernal blaze. He hadn’t needed to woo someone before. Lilith had just wanted someone to treat her like an equal and respect her whilst Eve had wanted to be free of her chains. It wasn’t like there had been any kind of competition either, Adam such a shitty husband that it had been easy to tempt his wives away from him. Though he had filled the earlier years of his and Lilith’s relationship with romantic gestures that had been very different to what humans now considered to be suitable displays of affection and he doubted you would be won over so easily with a horde of imp minions like Lilith had been. 
Charlie had so many grand plans, Lucifer franticly taking notes on things such as simple gestures like holding doors open or offering you an arm to hold as the two of you walked down the street all the way to those grand gestures like breakfast in bed and lavish gifts like diamonds and expensive perfumes. It was a lot and that didn’t even include all the date ideas she was throwing at him, Charlie already planning a romantic picnic on the hotel roof like it was a sure thing you would say yes when he asked you out. Lucifer had to put a stop to her grand schemes then, insisting that maybe it was too soon to be planning dates when he hadn’t even asked you out yet. Reluctantly she had agreed and instead they had circled back round to the little things, the simple gestures he could do to test the water before moving on to bigger and more obvious ones. By the time he left Lucifer had somewhat of a plan on how to win your heart and if there was a slight skip in his step then there was no one around to see it. 
Over the next few days Lucifer had started to implement his plan, starting with complimenting your outfit and making sure he opened every single door you went through if he was there. You gave him a few weird looks, but you never told him to stop so he considered it a win. On top of that he started to text you more, just little things about his day that he hoped would make you smile. He even phoned you a couple of times just to hear your voice. Though that had been a bit awkward. Lucifer wasn’t the best at holding conversations on the phone and the first time he had called you there had been a lot of lulls in the conversation, but you had still picked up the second time he called you, seemingly already prepared with conversation points that drew him in and had the conversation flowing easily in minutes. 
When you didn’t seem to dislike the attention, Lucifer had moved onto the next part of that plan, eggier and nervous all at once because he was about to get bolder and more obvious about how he felt. 
The most important part was to be more tactile with you. A brush of a hand here, a touch on the back there, maybe even brushing a stand of hair out of your face and sitting close enough together that he could press his leg against yours. In theory that was all fine, more than doable really, but the problem was that Lucifer hadn’t really touched anyone single Lilith and especially not in a way that was supposed to suggest something a little more intimate was wanted. Lucifer was touched starved, and he wasn’t sure he would be able to stop once her got to feel how soft and warm you are under his hands. Sure, he was excited for this part but that didn’t change the fact he was oh so nervous about it to.
What if you hated it? What if the very first time he tried to touch you, you told him get off and get away from you only to never speak to him again. It was a real worry, one that had him tugging at his hat and pulling his face as he shared that worry with Charlie, crying and whining about how “she’s going to hate me Charlie, I know it. As soon as I get a finger on her let alone a hand, she going to tell me to get lost and never want to speak to me again.” Charlie doesn’t say anything until his panicked and overly dramatic rant was over with, letting him get it all out even though some of the things he said were quite ridiculous. Once he was done though she had taken his hands in hers, offering a soft and reassuring smile whilst telling him that it was a “chance you’re going to have to take if you want to be with her dad. I don’t think she will turn you down, especially considering how much she’s been talking about you but there is always the possibility that your feeling might not be returned. Its something everyone has to consider when asking someone out but dad, of your serious about Y/N then it’s a risk you need to be willing to take and if not, well. At least things haven’t gone far enough that you can’t still be friends.” He’s stunned by her incite, her maturity. His little girl had grown up so quickly and was now a bright young woman capable of doing anything she put her mind to. Lucifer truly was proud of her and everything she had accomplished and didn’t hesitate to tell her whilst thanking her for being so open and honest with him.
His conversation with Charlie had left Lucifer with a lot to think about. His pride meant he didn’t handle rejection well and he knew that if you turned his advances down that there would be a period of time where his depression took over and he went back to making more silly little ducks then he knew what to do with. It would hurt to lose you because he really didn’t think he would be able to be around you afterwords without being rude or petty and he really didn’t want to be the reason you got hurt or upset. Maybe it would be better if he squashed down his feelings and just counted himself lucky to have you as a friend because he didn’t have hardly any of them, not real ones he could trust and be honest with. Asmodeus maybe, he could keep a secret and wasn’t all about the fucking like people assumed but it had been a while since Lucifer had spoken to him and well, he had never felt as close to him as he did you. The point was Lucifer didn’t want to lose you and if there was even a small chance that him carrying on with his courtship would result in that then wouldn’t he just be better off staying friends and being sure in the fact that he wouldn’t drive you away. 
The whole thing leaves him distracted and confused, Lucifer often getting lost in his thoughts when there were more important things he should be concentrating on. He doesn’t notice the concerned looks you and Charlie give him, or the hushed conversations as you glance nervously at him. He just doesn’t know what to do and he hates it, hates the fact that he feels so out of his depth when he had been so sure where he stood with you before all this romance rubbish had started. In the end though Lucifer doesn’t have to make the decision himself because you decide for him, and he couldn’t be happier. 
In an attempt to foster some sort of camaraderie between the hotel’s guests Charlie had implemented a monthly movie night where they each took turns to pick a movie they enjoyed in the hopes that it would get them all talking. Lucifer had accidentally become a part of that, Charlie having inverted him to join months ago in an attempt to spend more time together and get him out the house and Lucifer had just kind of carried on turning up, often sitting between you and his daughter and often needing one of you to explain what was going on because he had lost the plot after the first couple of minutes. Neither of you seemed to mind, even though you all knew that sometimes he did it on purpose, liking to hear your creative descriptions of what you were watching. 
This was a regularly scheduled event in his diary, so Lucifer hadn’t really though about not going until he found himself sat in the middle of the sofa, Charlie and Vaggie curled up together on one side and an very obvious space for you on his other side. He sat ramrod straight, hands clutching at his knees as he tried to come up with a plausible reason as to why you shouldn’t be sitting next to him. His mind came up blank though and before he knew it you were dropping down next to him with a sigh. You didn’t speak to him as you got yourself comfortable and Lucifer couldn’t even bring himself to look at you let alone talk to you. It felt weird, so different to how it had been, and he couldn’t help but wonder if this was how things were going to be between you now, the same yet not. 
Lucifer completely missed the first half of the film, eyes fixed on the screen yet not actually seeing it. He was just waiting for it to end and the chance to get away from this weirdness. He didn’t notice yours and Charlie’s silent yet rather animated conversation behind him, or the others looking at him like he was some new kind of crazy. He didn’t notice your loud sigh as you slumped down next to him, or the unsure looks you kept shooting him that slowly turned into determination. What he did notice though was your arm looping through his, your hand curling around his arm as you shifted closer to him. 
Lucifer was surprised his neck didn’t snap from how quickly it snapped to the side, eyes wide and mouth hanging open as he looked down at you with shock and bewilderment. You were nibbling at your bottom lip, ears turned down slightly and eyes fixed on Lucifers knee, looking very much like the innocent little lamb he often teased you about being. On the screen something exploded, the flash of light illuminating your eyes as you finally looked at him. Lucifer was captivated, trapped in their glow and oh how much he had missed this, having all your attention on him like he was the centre of your universe. You never took your eyes off him as you moved in close, leaning in so he would hear over the tv when you whispered, “is this ok?” Lucifer had barely managed to get out a yes around the lump of excitement that seemed to have formed in his throat. 
The smile you gave him was blinding but no where near as amazing of the felling of you leaning into him, your head resting on his shoulder as you turned your attention back to the tv. Lucifer continued to watch for a while, mesmerised by your ever-present smile and the way your eyes light up with the light from the tv. All his worries and fears about allowing himself this vanished the moment you had touched him because this felt right, like everything just clicked into place. And to think he almost missed out on this. With his own content sigh and smile Lucifer relaxed into it, one hand resting on your bent knee whilst he raised the other to cover your one that was curled abound his bicep. He let his head tip slightly, resting it against the top of yours and just enjoyed the closeness. He didn’t notice Charlie squealing behind him or Angel Dusts eye roll and mumbled “about damned time.” Lucifer was lost in his own little bubble of contentment and nothing short of an angel attack was going to change that. 
From then onwards Lucifer was an unstoppable force of wooing. He had no problem invading your personal space after that, nor did he mind getting his hands on you though he had been right, once he was allowed to touch Lucifer found it very hard not to and not to mention how all this innocent skin on skin contact was making him think about all the other less innocent touches he could be bestowing upon you. That had led to a few embarrassing moments where he had needed to excuse himself rather quickly to avoid you noticing what was happening. It also resulted in some rather pleasant dreams that he was always reluctant to wake from, knowing he would be left feeling disappointed and guilty when he finally opened his eyes.  
Complements came thick and fast as did the gifts though he had to admit he might have gone a bit overboard with some things. Like filling the entire hotel with white roses that smelt like freshly made popcorn or making every kind of food he could think of appear when you said you were hungry. In his excitement he might have forgotten about plates and Vaggie really hadn’t been too happy about the stack of pancakes that had ended up on top of her head. Though you had found it funny, using your fingers to scoop up some of the ice cream that was dripping down his face before licking it off your fingers. Lucifer had never really understood food porn before but that right here was enough to convert him. 
Other things had gone over better. Like a bottle of perfume that smelt like freshly cut grass, a crystal ball that swirled with the colours and patterns of a universe and your own personal rubber duck that Lucifer had spent weeks experimenting with so it would act like an actual duck, though he might have gotten it a little wrong because it had a few dog qualities that he hadn’t quite been able to get out. But hey, you had loved it, so Lucifer considered it a win, even if the thing growled at people every now and again. The first time he had seen you with the silly little thing perched on your head he had nearly combusted with how cute you had looked. He had taken what felt like thousands of photos, following you around the hotel and telling anyone and everyone you passed how adorable you were only to snap more photos as you blushed at his compliments. He would have been happy to continue just showering you with gifts and compliments, happy that he was making you happy, but it wasn’t quite enough. Lucifer wanted more and he wasn’t going to get that with expensive gifts and sugar sweet words. 
When he had been with Lilith, they had gone on the grand total of three dates and considering one of them was when she was still in the garden Lucifer didn’t really count it as an actual date because all they had done was sit next to a secluded lake and talk. It had been nice, real nice actually and from that one little date their relationship had blossomed and grown into something Lucifer would cherish for all eternity. It’s not exactly up to par with modern standards though and Lucifer really didn’t want to rehash his old material. It wouldn’t be fare to Lilith and it sure as hell wouldn’t be fare to you. You weren’t a replacement for his ex-wife and Lucifer really didn’t want you to ever think that was what this thing between the two of you was. So, he needed new material, something that was uniquely suited to you and guaranteed that you would say yes when Lucifer asked you to be his. 
The other rings were out considering you were a mortal sinner and couldn’t leave the pride ring. A shame really because they really did have some amazing restaurants and bars down in gluttony that he thought you might have enjoyed. It would have been nice to take you to Lu Lu Land, Lucifer able to show off his most successful creation, well second most successful next to Charlie. But just like gluttony that was out of the question. That left him with the rather nauseating thought of doing something in Pentagram city and that was a solid pass on his part because the city was a huge disgusting dumpster fire of nope full of psychopathic freaks that Lucifer would rather not have to deal with when he was trying to be all romantic and suave. 
It left him with a rather stressful dilemma, Lucifer locking himself away in his workshop as he tried and failed to come up with anything he thought was worthy of your time. It had him pulling at his hair and throwing his ducks around in frustration. This shouldn’t be this hard, mortals did it all the time and yet he couldn’t come up with anything better than afternoon tea in Cannibal Town because despite the fact it was full of flesh hungry sinners it was still the nicest part of this trashy city, he just didn’t think you would be a fan of being given finger sandwiches made from actual fingers. Groaning he had slumped forward, banging his head on his desk and mumbling about how he was “stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course she wouldn’t want to eat people, that’s gross and weird. Come on Luci, think, think, think.” With a headache forming and the sense of pathetic failure growing, Lucifer was saved in the form of a text from Charlie, asking for his help at the hotel. It was like a switch being flipped, the conversation he had with his daughter all those weeks ago coming back to him in full clarity. It was perfect, a plan already starting to form in his mind, and it was with a maniacal laugh that Lucifer snatched up his phone and called Charlie, roping her into his plans. 
It was a lot easier from then on, Lucifer knowing exactly what he wanted to make it perfect for you. Charlie was more than happy to help, even getting the other residents of the hotel to keep you busy so you wouldn’t notice what was going on. You weren’t stupid though and Lucifer knew that you had suspicions, especially when everyone was being a bit too obvious about keeping you away from him whenever you caught a glimpse of him around the hotel. It was worth it though, Lucifer proud of what he had managed to accomplish. All that was left now was to get you up there and woo the socks off you. 
Everyone played their part, pretending that Angel Dusts little piggy had run off and organising a search party to find it before that no-good Radio demon eat it. You were given the upper floors to search, including the roof and all Lucifer needed to do was wait patiently for you to find him and his surprise. Patiently lasted all of five minutes though and as the seconds ticked by he began nervously bouncing on the balls of his feet before giving in and pacing around the small space, muttering to himself the whole time about how it was taking you “so long. It’s just three floors you should be done by now. Maybe he should go and find you, speed things up a little.  No, no, no. The whole point is you’re supposed to be up here to surprise her Luci. What if you go down and she gets here before you find her and ruins the whole thing. Fuuuck. What to do. What to do.”  Just as he’s about to start pulling his hair out Lucifer hears it, the loud groan of the roof access stairs being pulled down. He quickly scrambles to get in position, fixing his hair and grabbing up the bouquet of red and white roses that fallen to the floor as his distress grew. He had taken off his jacket and hat, stashing them away along with his cain to go for a more casual look, a wide smirk plastered across his face as he tried not to bounce excitedly.
He heard you before he saw you, your mumbled complaints carrying up as you flung open the access hatch. You weren’t looking his way when you climbed out onto the roof, still muttering under your breath as you brushed dust and dirt off your clothes. Lucifer remained silent though, holding his breath as he waited for you to turn around and look his way. When you finally turned to him you gasped, hand flying up to cover your mouth as you stumbled back slightly. Lucifer laughed nervously, thrusting out the bouquet of flowers toward you and awkwardly greeting you with a “hey you.” You regained your composure quickly, smiling softly as you made your way over to him and tacking the flowers with a quick thank you. Lucifer stood there for a long few moments, his brain having come to a sudden hault as he watched you lift the bouquet up to smell the flowers. They weren’t real roses; you didn’t get flowers like that down here, but Lucifer had done his best to recreate them though he couldn’t really remember how they smelled so he had made the white one's smell like freshly made popcorn and the red ones like candy floss. You didn’t seem to mind, humming appreciatively as you stared back at him. 
You had pulled Lucifer out of his little daze by leaning to the side to look at the scene behind him, asking if “that’s what you’ve been up to all day?” Eager to show you what he had done Lucifer nodded, enthusiastically taking your hand and pulling you along with him. There was a large blanket on the floor, practically surround by a mountain of cushions and other blankets. There were more flowers, big vases of the roses with candy apples and fern leaves dotted throughout, with candelabras strategically places around the edges of the blanket to give the area a warm glow. He had champagne on ice, two glasses waiting nearby and several platters of food that could be easily picked up with their fingers. 
You gently placed the flowers you had been holding on the floor before sinking down onto the cushions, Lucifer following close behind and sitting close enough to you that your legs touched. Glasses of champagne were poured, food offered and the two of you slipped into easy conversation. It was surprisingly intimate, the sounds of the city nothing but a dull murmur in the background. From their advantage point they could see almost all of pentagram city, all the way from Imp City to Cannibal Town. Though all of Hell was his to rule this was Lucifers domaine and though it was quite literally on fire in some places he still wanted to show off how much power he had though knowing he was the King of Hell had never seemed to mean all that much to you.
As the evening went on and the champagne slowly disappeared the two of you got closer until Lucifer was leaning back against the cushions with you tucked up against his side, an arm draped over your shoulder as the two of you sat in silence and looked out across the city. It was comfortable, Lucifer felt comfortable, like himself for once but he knew he had to break the peaceful little bubble the two of you were in because he had a rather important question he needed to ask and if he didn’t ask it now, well, he wasn’t sure if he ever would. 
Lucifer put his mostly empty glass down before nervously clearing his through. That caught your attention and had you turning to look at him before he was ready. Whatever you saw on his face had you frowning, placing down your own glass so you could turn more fully to look at him. Lucifer could tell you were about to say something, but he couldn’t afford to lose his nerve, so he held up a hand to stop you, telling you that he “need to err ask you something?” So, what if it came out more like a question, at least he had managed to get it out. Your eyes widened slightly, ears twitching up and mouth forming an ‘o’. With a reassuring smile you took his hand in yours, nodding encouragingly and waiting for him to continue. 
Swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat, Lucifer glanced off to the side, tugging at the suddenly tight collar of his shirt. He felt your hold on his hand tightening, his eyes darting back to you and that look of reassurance and excitement that gleamed in your eyes. It was enough to calm his nerves and he placed his other hand over the tops of yours, taking a deep breath before asking that one little question that was sure to change his life regardless of the answer you gave. “Would you, like to date, me?” 
Your smile widened, stretching at your cheeks and looking almost painful. Freeing one of your hands from his you placed it on his cheek, thumb rubbing gently across it. Your voice is so soft but full of certainty and something Lucifer didn’t want to say was love, not yet anyway. It was a simple “yes Lucifer,” but it had his heart soaring like he was flying high above the city.  Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh, flinging himself forward and wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. He was so happy, couldn’t quite believe that you had said yes but still unapologetically happy that you had. You laughed with him, wiggling in his hold until you got your arms free, looping them around his neck. Lucifers grip tightened around your waist, pulling you in just that little bit closer. It meant that he had to tip his head back slightly to look you in the eyes but that wasn’t a hardship, especially not when you leant down, eyes darting to his lips then back up to his eyes. It was a silent question, one Lucifer answered by tipping his head back more, his eye closing and holding his breath as he waited for you to bridge the gap. 
Your lips were soft against his, just a gentle brush against his as if you were testing it out. Lucifer dug his fingers into the fabric of your dress, a content sigh passing from his lips to yours. That seemed to be the only permission you need because in the next second your lips were firmer, slow and confident as you traded one kiss after another. It was everything Lucifer had hoped it would be, as sweet as candy apples and just as addictive.
So lost in one another neither of you noticed that the access hatch was slightly open, or the two sets of eyes looking out from the darkness. You didn’t hear the muffled cheers or the even more muffled complaint about how “disgustingly lovey dovey those weirdos are going to be now? I guarantee ya, every five seconds they’re gonna be making cow eyes at each other and professing their love. I already feel sick just thinkin’ about…Ow! Watch the goods toots.” You didn’t see the rather annoyed radio demon down below twiddling his mic in his hands or Charlie sticking her head out of a window and gesturing upwards franticly. You didn’t hear him huff and roll his eyes or him waving his mic around until colourful explosions of light filled the sky behind you. The two of you were completely oblivious to the world around you, lost in the moment. 
Neither of you had thought this was how things would end up the first time you had met and though you were both aware that things wouldn’t be as easy as they seemed right now you were willing to take the risk. Sure, there would be ups and downs, things that would need addressing like Lilith and the wedding ring Lucifer still wore and the fact that you were a sinner, bound to the pride ring. There was the hotel and heaven to consider, not to mention all the threats from within hell. Those were all things to worry about latter though because for now, with you in his arms and his relationship with Charlie so much better than it had been Lucifer was happy and nothing could take that away from him. 
At least for now. 
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@lxkeee
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bogleech · 4 months
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People really liking my speculative animal wishlists and seem to enjoy that I keep doing vampire versions of non-vampire animals, which is of course because vampire bats are adorable and wonderful. They are adorable and wonderful BECAUSE they are vampires. They are technically completely harmless but there's still a chance they will drink your blood while you're asleep and we as a species hate that SO much it inspires horror and superstition of all sorts. So I think there should be more like that but I already have some that are fish and some that are bugs, so here's just my Top Ten Land Vertebrates That Should Have Vampire Versions:
Tarsier. How great would it be if that thing was also a creeping ghoul. Vampire version would be goth colors. I guess it'd be aesthetically like between a tarsier and an aye-aye actually.
Gecko. I don't know how it would obtain the blood, maybe its tongue would have evolved to have a super sharp tip? Maybe the tip of its little gecko nose would be like a sharp hook?
Tree frog. Same issue as the gecko. I'm gonna say the gecko has a sharp tongue and the frog has a sharp nose. A frog with a beak. Let's also make it see through like a glass frog. Just a ghostly little frog that will cut you.
Kiwi bird, using a needly-fine beak tip and excellent climbing skills, much tinier than the New Zealand one and found on every continent. Then the New Zealand kiwi can still be special. Nature specials can be ike "did you know!? The New Zealand Giant Kiwi is the only kiwi that isn't a sick freak"
Pangolin and this one unlike the rest of these would maybe actually be dangerous, like still pretty large for a blood feeder, if you fall asleep unprotected in vampangolin territory you aren't gonna wake up. I just think pangolins deserve to take a little something back, you know. I guess it might be hard for them to sustain themselves on just blood but maybe these would live where there's a whole lot of big juicy animals for them, like they follow herds of buffalo around.
Flying squirrel and I would put this in my own state of Oregon so like a real Fearsome Critter.
Turtle, because to successfully live like a vampire bat you need to be able to detect a blood source, get to it quickly, drink your fill and get out of there just as quickly, so we'd be talking the fastest and lightest little turtle in the world, a long legged scurrying beetle of a turtle, really long neck with a nasty ass beak. Shell could also be covered in wicked as hell thorns for when a rude host wakes up and tries to be mean to it.
Snake and I would also make it the shortest fattest snake so I guess I'm saying a leech tsuchinoko. Like the vampire bat its fangs would have evolved into two short but sharp little vampire buckteeth. It would be too chubby to coil up the way regular snakes do so instead it would have to roll up the way a pillbug or an armadillo does, into a ball.
Pachyderm with a sharp spur on its trunk. Maybe around pug size, a wrinkly hairy wretched looking micro elephant that would probably live off the blood of things like giraffes and zebras and regular elephants while they sleep. Actually like the pangolin this could probably kill you. Every now and then we could hear about how a big game hunter left his tent open and got completely exsanguinated by an adorable hideous vamphant.
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gallusrostromegalus · 11 months
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What does the title An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy actually MEAN? Or refer to or whatevs? I swear I have looked, that's literally the only thing I care about, and I can't find if you ever explained it.
There is an old Parable about a group of blind men who encounter an Elephant. They each feel different parts of it to try to figure out what it is. "It's a tree!" says one man, feeling it's leg "It's a snake!" says another, holding it's trunk. "It's a fan!" says the man touching it's ear. "It's a spear!" says the man feeling the sharp end of it's tusk "It's a wall!" says the man, feeling its side! "It's a rope!" says the man holding it's tail.
It's a metaphor about how no one person can totally percive the nature of reality, and how your perspective may be wildly limited and you should always get some extra perspective.
Notoriously Crass Cartoonist Sam Gross made this cartoon:
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...but here's the thing.
While a Biologist can't tell you everything about an animal by it's scat, but they can tell you A DAMN LOT about it. For starters, if there's poop, it had to have come out of an animal, and not a collection of random inanimate objects. If they coordinate datapoints, they can probably work out that an Elephant is a large Herbivore with a trunk and tusks and huge ears, and that's 90% of the picture right there!
The relevance to the fic is that, 90% of the problems in Bleach happen because Nobody Fucking Communicates Anything, and the other 10% are from the fact that key data about the universe has been hidden. Nobody can really tell what's going on, until someone finds The Real Shit.
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harveywritings92 · 1 year
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{(Reader name) is out with the 1-4-1 and KorTac, She and Rudy pulled the short straws and are the designated drivers, the two are casually chatting, while waiting for everyone to tire out.] 
R/n: (to Rudy) This “Snake Juice” is basically Rat poison. Everybody’s wasted.
[cuts to a drunk and crying Gaz]
Gaz: You don’t even know one thing, I didn’t even say one thing and then he asked me the whole thing and I didn’t even do it once!!
[cuts to a drunk König]
König: I’m like an elephant, OK? If I walk into a room, it’s like OK, he’s in there.
[cuts to a drunk Horangi]
Horangi: I’m gonna tell you…That…That bitch over there (points at random person) …I’m…I’m gonna tell..I don’t have to…I don’t have to brag.
[cuts to a drunk and giggling Hutch]
Hutch: Baba booey.
[cuts to a drunk Soap]
Soap: Turn this music down. (Starts singing to Gaz) Farts and boobs and love and stuff… macaroni potato salad…
[cuts to a drunk Alejandro]
Alejandro: [rapidly speaking Spanish]
[cuts to a drunk and laughing Price who starts coughing then drinks more snake Juice]
[cuts to a drunk Ghost, who is wearing R/n’s pink glow-in the dark cat ear headphones frantically dancing]
[Cut to R/n who has all the drunk people packed into her Van]
Ghost: (groggily) Is this everybody, Love?
R/n: Alejandro and Rudy took a cab, Gaz is in the trunk, König’s on the roof. Alright, where to first?
Soap: Yer mother’s butt!
[Everyone laughs]
Hutch: I’m so alone…
R/n: If even one of you thinks about dry-heaving in my van, you’re all walking home.  
{part 2]
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herpsandbirds · 19 days
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Elephant Trunk Snakes aka Javan File Snakes (Acrochordus javanicus), juveniles, family Acrochordidae, found in SE Asia
photograph via: Starshine Herps and Inverts
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quosterswampdregs · 9 days
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personally I'd love to see Kei with like the sneeziest, messiest cold ever. Does he try to keep it contained with tissues or thick handkerchiefs, he'd probably need some considering how stuffy his trunk must get when he has a cold
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Art done by PupperStar on Furaffinity
Heeeere we go!! Keirie wakes up with a nasty head cold, and it’s made their nose hypersensitive to everything. Normal tasks become more difficult than ever, and they might end up calling for the assistance of their partner…
Loooads of nose/trunk related nonsense with this one, and a lot of desperation and mess too!
Doubling Down.
Kei tugged on their large, African elephant ears at the shrill cry of their phone alarm. It was piercing, louder than usual, and the weight of sleep was growing more and more inviting with every ring. Their trunk snaked out from under the duvets, and began to brush along the nightstand in search of their phone. Its tip shuffled around at the phone’s home button, but as they went to pinch down on it, the phone tumbled off and under the bed.
The sleek, polished surface of the nightstand went foggy from an annoyed sigh: “…damn it.”
Damn it, because now they had to do more blind searching. Keirie’s brows furrowed as their trunk urged away a few blankets, and rubbed along the floor. Hmm, to the left? Those were shoes…that was the safe box, and that had to be a t-shirt they were feeling…what was that??
It felt like a mix between rubber and velvet. Their trunk grasped at it, identifying a handle—oh! That was one of Kei’s dumbbells. They forgot they even had those, going to the gym more often meant less use for them at home…just the thought of having to work out today made them slump their shoulders with a huff.
“h-HHh!!”
Oh gods, that’s a lot of dust. Their nostrils flared, feeling all of the disrupted dust under the bed billowing around their damp septum. The dust would settle again, only most of it had already gotten sucked up into their trunk. It was like breathing in a bag full of craft feathers..!!
“H-hhUEH—!!” In any other circumstance, Kei would be a natural at keeping their sneezes under control. However, this feeling rushed over their eyes and nose faster than they could comprehend. “Hhh-hhHEESHHhhhHHW!!”
The first of many, doubtlessly. Dust exploded in thick clouds from the dormant, untouched nooks and crannies under the bed. Their nostrils gaped and trembled, while a second chorus of hitches drew in more dust towards it. Keirie, laying on their stomach above the bed, opened their eyes tearfully. “SnK-! SnrkK- snF! HHahh-! Add’DTTSSSchhuuw!!”
The phone still rang and demanded the elephant do something about it. It stung their head, they could feel it hammering at a festering headache. They finally fumbled their septum against the screen, and with a snort, the phone was grasped by the edges. With all the mess slowly trickling from both nares, the phone slipped and glided a few times. Eventually, however, a strong snort sucked the surface of the screen to their left nostril. It was masterfully lifted to their bleary eyes to check the time.
9 am. Well, 9:03 now. Their alarm was set this early to remind them of Colorguard Practice this noon. Auditions were coming up, given it was the start of the season, but something deep down was warning them not to attend today.
Once they sat up, it hit them. All of the weight in their throat dropped to the pit of their chest. All of the fatigue in their shoulders pulled their posture down like bags of sand on their back. Their nostrils, once dripping like a loose tap, began to drool in a massive amount of runny mess. The dust they inhaled was being flushed out too, visible in speckles of brown and grey.
Unmistakably, a head cold. A thermometer check in the bathroom confirmed it. Kei looked sadly to themselves in the mirror, and ripped a few tissues from a box on the shelf above them. Holding the tissues up against their trembling nostrils, they blew shakily, wincing at the thick sounds of congestion rushing forth. Dust and gunk, all built up from the morning—their nose stung intensely with the feeling, and they were soon hitching before they realized it.
“hH-! hEH! hHAHh!!” They staggered back clumsily, and aimed their trunk away from the sink bowl and towards the shelf. Their breath wavered dangerously, teetering a few bottles and boxes with the unrestrained energy of their hitches. “N-nDoe!! HUH-UPPSSshhww!!!”
Crash! Clatter! A cacophony of sound flooded the master bathroom as toothbrushes and medicine bottles and rolls of toilet paper went scattering. The mirror was splattered with water and mess, which sadly ran down the surface of the wall. Just as a knuckle rubbed cautiously under their trunk, one of the toothbrushes on an upper shelf rolled and fell, landing in one of their two upturned nostrils—brush side down.
“iHH-!!” Their left nostril trembled and the toothbrush rattled against their inner nose. Their nostrils flexed and it sank, completely disappearing from view. “H-hhhiih! EHH-! HEEISHhuhhw!!”
A sharp, open sneeze scraped their throat, and the toothbrush ricocheted off the sink bowl and smacked them between the eyes. “-dOwh!! Gah!”
Ugh, just thinking about going to practice like this made their stomach turn. Spinning flags through hitches, or sneezing mid-toss! They would send a text later this morning for certain, but the least they could do was start their day a little better than this…chaos.
A little breakfast could help to lift the spirits—it was the most important meal of the day! Only the fridge looked a little on the bare side; a bowl of veggies here, assorted carrots and celery that had yet to be cut, a head of lettuce, some onion…Hey! It wasn’t like they were going to fix up anything too fancy, so a salad would do them nicely. Slowly, they stumbled into the kitchen, hugging close to a strawberry-patterned bathrobe.
“I thing’k I need the greens,” Kei reasoned aloud as their trunk clutched a cluster of celery. Their hands reached In after collecting the various root and leaf vegetables. Once thoroughly washed under a tap, the ingredients were set aside, and Kei took a moment to bring their trunk under the warm water. The nostrils had grown a distracting shade of pink, flaring as water flooded them. Their small eyes watered, and both hands reached up to grab the base of their trunk—it truly took everything in their power not to snort or sniff!
“Stupid ru’ddy n’dose…” grumbled Kei stuffily, who turned off the tap and pointed their nostrils downward. Water came gently trickling out both of their slowly-widening nostrils. The rush was beginning to tickle, and the water didn’t show signs of stopping any time soon!
“Ih-!! It just won’t st-stop runninghHH!!” Keirie gasped, curling the base of their trunk upwards, “hRGGSHHhhhuuhw!!”
Water sprayed into the kitchen sink, splashing up and back to drench their shirt. Despite the exhausted sigh, their eyes revealed a smile—it was practically comedic at this point, wasn’t it? They shook their head and snuffled. “Mngh- snffk-! So sensitive today…headcolds, man…”
Oh, how Amalie would be racing to poke fun at them!
The thought alone seemed to quickly lift their spirits—wasn’t Amalie off work today? After alerting their group to the fact they wouldn’t be there, a quick text would confirm it; and was swiftly followed up with a request to come over. Of course, Amalie joyously obliged.
The salad was finished and eaten just as Amalie opened the door with her own key. In her hands were two compostable plastic bags, filled with goodies and care items. Her tail wagged quickly at the sight of Kei, and the wagging’s intensity seemed to increase after the sound of a waterlogged sneeze. Ah, how golden retrievers were as subtle as a freight train.
“Keirie! You should’ve told me you were sick, I had to run and get all of this on my way here!” She gasped, rushing over to set down the bags on the island, before leaping up to hug her partner.
“I did as soon as I could, I just w-woke ub’p like…a’d hour or two ago…”
“Poor thing, look at your nose…”
Kei’s beady eyes trailed down as Amalie held their trunk in cupped hands. The nostrils were slick and twitching, and Amalie extracted a box of tissues from the bag to begin patting away at the wetness.
“Gosh, gift-giving is your love language…” Kei chuffed out with amusement, looking through the bag themselves. They gasped as they made contact with a bag of de-shelled peanuts and pistachios, too! Among the two bags there were tissues, cold medicine, chills medicine, a restock on pain medication, a stuffed microwavable teddy bear, soup ingredients galore, just to name a few.
“H-hHUH-! Hey!!”
Kei felt their nostrils begin to tremble as they looked back at their girlfriend. She was busy stuffing a tissue into their left nare.
“SuhH-! Stop you’re gunnAH- AHHh—!! hAPPSCHHhuuhw!!” They paused with a chesty sneeze, “…gonna make me sneeze…”
“Oh, my apologies,” Amalie spoke knowingly, pulling out the tissue to reveal that the end was coiled tightly to a definite point. Kei squinted critically, matching the coy smile.
“You’re cheeky—don’t get yourself sick from this, you hear?”
“Promise I won’t…has this big old thing been bothering you?” She gestured lengthwise to their trunk.
“Trust me, I’ve been sneezing since I opened my eyes…”
“Oh what a shame…” sighed Amalie sarcastically. “Who knows? Maybe it’s just a sign to get some out…?”
“Sure, cure my sneezing with more sneezes, sounds logical to me!” Kei rolled their eyes. They took the tissue box from Amalie in their hands, at least to hold it idley amongst their girlfriend’s antics. The twisted tissue rummaged invasively at their flaring nostrils, and they felt tears overwhelming their eyes in moments. They felt so incredibly full with mess, it had been giving them a headache. It wasn’t necessarily a stuffy nose, but rather a constantly runny one. Such a runny nose was utterly shameless in revealing itself before Amalie.
“hhuh…hHEH!”
Amalie’s tail lowered to wag, and she held the tip of their trunk steady in a firm grip. There was something that was so instinctively enticing about watching Kei’s nostrils flex and flare so wide. However, they let out a huff and a violent snort, and to Amalie’s surprise, the tissue slipped from her fingertips. She fruitlessly attempted to reach after it, but Keirie’s hitches were wildly blossoming out of control.
“EHH-! HEHH—!! hH-hAAAtshHHUUUHh!!” Amalie angled their trunk over her shoulder as she ducked. A few plastic dishes went clattering off of the kitchen island, too. Despite this, Amalie could tell with a glance that her partner wasn’t done. For one, the tissue was still stuck in their trunk, barely poking out of their wide and gaping nostrils. Amalie had the sense to let go of their nose, and tentatively duck behind the island themselves!
“HbBTSHhhuh- hAAHtshhHkk!! Heh-HHSHhhuuh!!”
“Bless you—! Bless! Bless you again…!”
“hehH!” Was all they could manage, “hhihs it still in’d my n-Nuh-!!?”
The elephant pointed to their trunk, where the soggy tissue still clung to their inner septum. Amalie nodded, but upon realizing they couldn’t see her, she approached. “Here, hold still!”
Keirie stiffened to the best of their ability. The tissue was extracted with ease too, and their next string of hitches died down into watery sniffles.
“Bless you, Keirie,” she chuckled, rubbing her partner’s drippy trunk with a palm. “Feel any better…?”
“Ehh,” spoken before a violent blow of their nose into a fresh tissue, “kinda, it definitely cleared my trunk, but I’ve got a headache…thanks for the meds too, I was running low…”
“No worries…let’s get you back in bed, then. It should be easier with someone looking out for you!!”
It was barely noon, and yet Kei found themselves getting tucked right back into bed! They unceremoniously flopped onto their back as they laid down, looking at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. Their large ears shielded the beams of light from the nearby window, waiting quietly for Amalie to eventually come around and shut them. Once done, she shuffled right beside her partner, curling up with the small warm teddy bear between them.
“Th…thanks for coming over,” Kei yawned slowly.
“Mhm..!” The golden retriever’s tail began to wag gently, “let me know if you need anything, mkay…?”
“Mkay…”
Perhaps it was the mere prospect of Amalie’s presence that helped Kei doze off, but they soon found themselves drifting to sleep with relative ease. They were doubling down on this cold, and that much was for certain!
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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 4 months
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any crumbs for tim in the ai verse? or new developments for jason with secret! reader??
hope youre doing well!
When crying was over and Jason had put down hot drinks and something to eat- a trick he'd picked up from Alfred. Your uncle was still reluctant to let you go. Petting your hand and fussing.
"That really is an ugly cat," he said fondly, watching you cradle your beloved orange terror Elmer like a baby.
"It's the inside that counts-"
"He's an asshole to everyone but her," Jason said, kissing the top of your head before taking his own seat on your other side. "And maybe my equally asshole-ish little brother."
"Damian bought his love with treats and compliments," you say fairly, struggling to clear your throat. 'Elmer is very vain."
Your uncle smiled a little. Pointedly not looking at the elephant in the room. He didn't want to talk about your scars or how you got them. He didn't want to talk about your voice. And for that, Jason was grateful.
And more grateful that he'd been able to talk to him before. To warn him. And to tell him what happened when you went home.
"You always did like the misfits," he hummed.
"Oh yeah?" Jason asked, smirking.
"Three-legged baby tigers, Zebras, foxes with an identity crisis... lizards, snakes... no fear. I never saw her meet an animal she didn't like. Or have an Animal not like her... Remember the Elephants when we were taking pictures on the nature preserve?"
"That was fun, the babies just liked to lay in my lap and get head scritches."
"The matriarch practically adopted her because she spent so much time playing with the babies," he explained. "Pulled her out of the road once-"
"By my ponytail with her trunk. She was a sweet old lady. And she liked watermelon."
"So why didn't you work in a zoo?" Jason asked.
You half shrug, "I guess I could have but. I like working with pets. And I can- or at least I could take trips to see other animals."
"We'll find a way to smuggle you out of the country," your uncle snorted. "Laurel won't be paying attention forever. You're not a business she's trying to take over."
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I really love oddball snakes! The ones that have extremely unique looks that only makes sense once you learn about their prey or environment. Do you by any chance have some cool examples of this to share with us?
Totally!
Blunt-headed tree snakes are a great example. They look so strange, until you remember that they're little arboreal insect-eaters. They need to be light enough to stay up high in the trees, hence the super thin body, but they also want to maximize the size of prey they can eat (bigger prey = more nutrients), so they have really big heads so they can swallow bigger prey.
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Arabian sand boas look like somone only vaguely familiar with the concept of snakes tried to draw one from memory.
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But they look like that so they can burrow down into sand to wait for prey. Their eyes are far apart and at an angle so they can keep their eyes above the sand to look for food. And it works! Super well! Look at this picture of an Arabian sand boa in the sand - all you can see are those wide-set eyes!
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Quill-snouted snakes have delightfully strange triangle-shaped heads that are excellent for digging!
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Elephant trunk snakes look like if someone tried to melt a boa. Their skin looks super baggy, and that's because they actually use it to hunt! They use folds of their skin and special sharp scales to trap slippery prey like fish and keep it from escaping.
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