Imhotep: yeah but what if we take a mastaba and put another smaller mastaba on top of it, and another one on top, and so we have a stack of mastabas on top of each other

Djoser: how much coffee did you drink?

Imhotep: i can see time

Imhotep: also i haven't slept three days, help

Although I gave up kemeticism long ago, making kemetic memes is still my hobby

Ancient Egyptian insults have me laughing my ass off. I’m so using these.

Help.

Imagine Apollo and Ra meeting right after the Kane Chronicled & Trials of Apollo

Tried to make this look as much like a middle school power point presentation slide as possible (featuring: my statues of Sekhmet and Bast)

Fun Ancient Egypt fact: Farmers would often let their cattle graze on the land that stretched out into the Nile. When inundation happened, these stretches of land would become geziras (islands) in the middle of the Nile, and farmers would leave their cattle there during that season for safe keeping. So you'd have high waters, lots of papyrus, and confused cows stuck in the middle of the Nile for weeks.

Moon knight gods ranked

This is so fringe for tumblr but it’s also completely hilarious so I’m gonna share with the group.

Background: Basically how marriage works in islam (and therefore in Islamic/Muslim majority countries) is that the groom and his family pay for everything, the house, the furnishings, the wedding, even the bride’s clothes. As in, pjs and underwear and outfits for different seasons, as well as giving the bride a monetary gift (Mahr). This is all well and good, but unrealistic for impoverished North African countries. So what Egyptians do instead is that these costs are split between the bride and groom (and their families). The groom acquires an apartment, and depending on which area of Egypt they’re in there’s a cultural knowledge of what furnishings fall to the groom vs the bride. Mostly things like actual furniture and the bulk of electronic items falls to the groom, while things like curtains and carpets and bedspreads and towels and cutlery falls to the bride, along with a few electronics like TVs, microwaves and, recently, dishwashers. The details are hashed out privately.

Now, the house is in the groom’s name and men started doing this thing where they divorce women and take all the shit the women had bought for the house. Which is like, a lot. To keep our rights protected, because lord knows the state won’t do shit to protect us, women started doing this thing where they write extremely detailed lists of all the things they bought for the marital home and how much it costs. A couple of witnesses and the groom would then sign this ‘list of purchases’ as proof that it’s debt payable to the bride in case of divorce (or death, if the late husband’s family tries to defraud her out of her things during the handling of the inheritance). Men, of course, have been opposed to this concept for decades and have launched multiple campaigns against it, the last of which went viral just a few days ago.

Egyptian women, fed up with the bs we’ve been taking from the least useful men on earth, kinda just went… okay then, buy everything your own damn selves, and started a social media campaign of memes about men rushing to stores for bargains on pots and pans, and arguing with their mothers about the number of towels they need to get to ‘not be seen as lesser than my cousin’. It’s very much an inversion of the humiliating bullshit women go through to get married in this country, but nothing on earth will be funnier to me than Egyptian men going ‘we wont sign lists of purchase anymore’ and this new generation of Egyptian women going ‘okay then we ain’t buying shit. Have fun arguing with the seamstress about the price of fabric per meter for living room curtains.’

PS: men came back with ‘we’ll do the absolute bare minimum of furnishings and you’ll have to just accept that and live with it’ in hopes of deterring women from not sharing in marriage costs, and women were just like ‘no, actually, Islam says marriage is for he who can afford it, if you cant afford it just fast like islam tells you to :)))))’

Men: ‘you’ll all become spinsters’

Women: ‘we’ll just start marrying foreign men’

Egyptian social media has been hilarious the last few days and i wish y’all spoke Arabic so i could share it with you

NOT SO FRIENDLY REMINDER:

The Gods dont give a flying fuck if you hate them. They are just casually chilling above the universe and you're here whining to your mom for cereal.

I found this reposted to Pinterest (apparently someone put it on Ifunny too from that logo) and I just??? LITTLE MEWER? SOBBING.

Of course the earliest recorded named cat was in Egypt.