#edmond dantès heard about writing fiction and was like bo-ring. what's the point of going to all the trouble to create characters | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coquelicoq · 2 years

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M. de Villefort reçut la note suivante: «La personne que l’on appelle M. le comte de Monte-Cristo est connue particulièrement de Lord Wilmore, riche étranger, que l’on voit quelquefois à Paris et qui s’y trouve en ce moment; il est connu également de l’abbé Busoni, prêtre sicilien d’une grande réputation en Orient, où il a fait beaucoup de bonnes œuvres.» (p. 839)

just read an entire chapter in which le procureur du roi monsieur de villefort, who's freaking out because the count of monte-cristo somehow knows about his lovechild who he tried to bury alive in his in-laws' backyard twenty years ago, asks around for info about the count and is told that the people who know the most about him are l'abbé busoni and lord wilmore. you know. two of dantès's other personas. so then the rest of the chapter is just the cops interrogating these two guys (the same guy) to find out what they know about this other guy (also the same guy). and they ask the two guys (who are the same guy) the same questions, but the two guys (two-in-one guy) answer differently, and all of their answers are lies anyway because the guy they're being interrogated about (who again is the same guy) and in fact the two guys being interrogated as well (bogo guys) are all made up by the one real guy who's pretending to be all of them.

#this chapter was so funny oh my god #yet another thing the abridged version denied me #the count of monte cristo #my posts #dantès was having the time of his life. he decided it would be interesting if lord wilmore hated the count #(even though he in his count persona told the morrels that he and wilmore are friends)#so he just trash-talked the count the whole time he was acting as lord wilmore #and as the abbé he was like oh the count is so generous <3 everyone he meets is his friend <3 except that lord wilmore >:(#edmond dantès heard about writing fiction and was like bo-ring. what's the point of going to all the trouble to create characters #with backstories and personalities and relationships just to write about them? if you're not going to actually establish them as people #moving through the real physical world with their own houses and clothes and servants then what are we even doing here?#if the actual police don't show up at your actual house to interview one of your characters about one of your other characters #you're doing it wrong

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