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#eddie's got the best cgs in the world EVER i tell you
acoolguyscoollife · 4 years
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Chapter 31: One Reason Why
Seth
It had finally happened. After all this time, I’d seen Tabitha in front of a whiteboard. Etchings and scribbles made in marker pen covered the entire surface, some words in foreign languages that I couldn’t understand, other space filled with glyphs, runes, and whatever else you would call some really weird drawings that are used for language. Her hair was slightly unkempt again, not unlike she’d been when we met her at the start of all this, but every time she turned around to look at us, her eyes were wild, mind solely focused on the one issue that had not only been plaguing her, but all of us, since it had become prevalent.
“Okay, so nobody has any ideas? You’re just gonna leave me working this out myself?” Tabitha asked, shaking me from my almost-dozed state as I had watched her work. Giving a quick glance around, everyone else had been in the same state of uncertainty and near-asleep-ness as I had. Aki had her head resting against Amy’s shoulder, and while I couldn’t see the catgirl’s eyes, I was pretty sure they would have been almost closed. Amy herself was chewing on the end of a pencil, which can’t have tasted good, as it was one of those ones with an eraser on the end of it. And Eddie, that voice that seemed to enjoy sharing my body, had gone quiet for the first time since he’d started to speak to me.
“I mean, we have ideas, but… don’t you think this is stuff we shouldn’t be working on? He’s kind of our friend, after all. If he didn’t want to tell us, and neither did Rose, isn’t it kind of dickish to do all this?” Amy replied, the end of the pencil now out of her mouth and tapping against the knuckles of her other hand, no rhythm or reason behind it. While I agreed with the fundamental points of what she was saying, the curiosity of what exactly it was that had caused the two of them to split up was burning as furiously as it had been the first time CG had told me about it all those years ago. It was a mystery neither of us had been able to solve, and now more than ever, working it out may have helped him.
“On the contrary, if we can narrow down the fault that Rose sees in CG, maybe he can get rid of it and win her back.” Tabitha said, grinning like a madman. The looks on our faces must’ve given off that she had said the wrong thing, since she rubbed at her eyes for a minute before rephrasing. “He’s our friend. Even if he doesn’t get back together with her, knowing something that people dislike about him is important to him.” While it was a little better, it was still painfully obvious that Tabitha’s main focus had shifted from finding Uchen to solving this mystery using whatever science-y methods she could.
“Where is CG, anyway? I’ve not seen him since the stairwell…” Aki said, looking around the room as best as she could without moving from Amy’s shoulder.
“He’s on the roof.” I said casually, before realising what the implications of my words were. “Getting some air.” I added, and the shock on everyone else’s faces quickly disappeared.
“Okay, we’re getting nowhere with this casual conversation.” Tabitha said, bringing all the attention back to her. “What do we know about Rose, and what do we know about CG?” It was a question posed to the rest of the group, but silence hung in the air as both Amy and I wondered if the other was going to be the first one to speak.
“Well let’s see. CG…” Amy tapped her mouth with the pencil, and I had to admit, it was doing wonders at making her look like a legitimate scientist instead of someone hypothesising over what amounted to not much in the grand scheme of things. “He likes anime, and he likes sword-fighting.”
“He liked Rose.” I added, almost a mumble from between my fingers.
“Had his whole cool persona he held up sorta shattered by showing emotion.” Amy pointed to me with the pencil after I had finished speaking, so I felt I had to continue.
“While I honestly didn’t know much about Rose, apparently she’d had a crush on him for years before she said anything.” I remembered when CG had first told me about Rose, and how excited he had been. It must have been a real confidence boost.
“All this just says that Rose definitely likes him more than just a friend, but for some reason can’t be with him, which we already knew.” Tabitha sighed, clearing off the whiteboard as she talked. “Anyone know any more intimate details about the two? Does CG have a crooked penis?” I coughed loudly on my spit.
“Jesus, that took a turn.” I said, between deep, rasping breaths.
“With Rose, I’m not sure that would have mattered. She had a habit of not really caring about the negatives. Like a negative magnet.” Amy had sat up straight now, so Aki was no longer leaning against her, instead just lounging slightly in her chair, disappointed.
“That’s a pretty positive outlook to have.” Tabitha said, doodling on the whiteboard.
“I’d make a joke about their relationship being charged, but we’re kind of already pushing it with the magnet jokes.” I said, cracking a small smile for the first time since we had found out about CG.
“Freakin’ magnets, how do they work?” Aki said, joining in on the fun with a joke that she shouldn’t have even known, even as she managed to butcher the actual quote at the same time. It seemed to be the final tipping point for us, setting everyone off into gigglefits of laughter. I knew CG was going to be okay, he had before after all. Why worry so much about something that would ultimately not matter? Even if we had all come to that same conclusion that it didn’t matter that much, it definitely started to matter again when CG walked into the room.
Cool Guy
Now, I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but when you see a whiteboard with your name on it, next to a doodle of a flower that conveniently shares the same name as your ex-girlfriend, it doesn’t take much effort to figure out what’s going on. Nonetheless, I decided to give them an out, hoping their answer would be clever enough that the situation would give me a little bit of a chuckle.
“What’s going on in here?” I asked, glancing between everyone. The laughter had died down very quickly as I’d entered, and I could tell from the expressions that they felt bad. I stood awkwardly in the doorway for a few moments, waiting for any of them to give me an answer, before someone finally spoke up.
“Surprise birthday party planning?” Seth said, holding his hands up as he did so. I almost felt bad for how bad the lie was, but I didn’t have to, since the cringe that crossed his face after he had said it gave away how much he hated saying it.
“We were trying to work out why Rose left.” Tabitha admitted, only confirming what I had assumed. I didn’t blame them, as much as I disliked having the reminder. I would have stayed on the roof longer, but it had gotten too cold up there.
“I know it’s not you guys, she liked you a lot.” I said, wheeling a chair over and sitting on it so the back of it was in front of me. The rest of the group seemed shocked at me speaking, but surely they must have known that I was trying to work it out too. “Plus, it was the same issue as it was years ago. We have to figure out what stayed consistent in my life from back then to now.”
“Sorry, can we just address what you’re doing with that chair?” Seth said, but nobody listened as Tabitha began to write on the board.
“The clothing style? Shades? Personality?” Aki offered, with Tabitha scribing every possibility as it was said. “Do you wear a cologne?” I shook my head at the last one.
“My scent is all-natural Cool Guy.” I replied, blasting a fingergun at her. “That, and I just bathe.” I added, which only served to remind me that it had been a very long time since I’d been home. I missed showering in my own shower, where I’d finally found the perfect temperature.
“I think we can rule out personality. Rose’s personality definitely mirrored CG’s, even if it was a little less… intense.” Tabitha said, turning to look at me as she paused.
“The clothes are a definite yes for her. She made me wear them the first time we ever did…” I let everyone else finish the sentence in their head, and when they had, Tabitha slowly crossed off the clothes as an option. “As for my sunglasses, she was the first person I took them off for outside of my family, so I think she didn’t mind them.” It definitely felt like we were just guessing, but then, we didn’t have much to go off.
“So, it’s not the way you’re dressed.” Amy said in a monotone voice. “And it’s not us, so it’s something you wouldn’t think to bring up.” Everyone fell silent as we tried to think of what I wouldn’t bring up, or even know about.
“I’ve got it!” Aki almost-yelled, startling me slightly, but bringing all attention to her. “The reason is…” The pause for effect was killing me, but I knew hurrying her would get us nowhere. “…completely pointless.” She finished, getting a groan from everyone else in the room. “Oh, come on, think about it. What are we gonna solve talking about this stuff? If it’s a fundamental part of him and he chooses to change it for her, are we really gonna be happy to let him do that?” While I definitely wanted Rose back, I had to admit, she had a point. Would I even wanna change a huge part of myself for her?
“If it’s what makes him happy…” Seth said, but he was clearly unconvinced.
“I just think all we’re doing here is dwelling on the past instead of focusing on asking the real, important questions in the present.” Aki said, spinning in her chair to face me. “How are you doing?” She asked, and I tried to come up with an answer that was funny, to break the tension. Nothing came. I then decided to go for a false happiness, to try and act tough. Nothing came then either. The words didn’t feel right, almost like an act.
“I don’t know.” I finally responded, and with that, the words started to pour. “It was only one day, after all, but it still stings. Especially seeing you four and how happy you all are with each other. I just feel kind of shitty for not being happy to be with you guys.” Aki wheeled over, putting her hand on my shoulder as she reached me.
“Dude, just let us know if we can do something to help.” Seth had walked over to my other side, and I had a feeling this was going to be another group hug situation. “Eddie offers to come inside your body because he has a habit of making people happier.” He added, and I smiled slightly.
“There’s a joke I could make there.” I said, which caused him to chuckle a little. Shaking myself off slightly, I stood up, walking over to the whiteboard and erasing the flower. Even though I knew it was corny, I instead began to doodle the rest of the group, making sure to include every detail I could for each of them. Amy and Aki holding hands, Seth holding a gun, and Tabitha holding onto her sanity while she deals with us. Finally finishing with myself, I took a step back, planting myself firmly in the middle of the group that had formed behind me. Smiling, I awaited their praise.
“Where’s my tail?”
“Why am I holding a sex toy?”
“Why is my head so big?”
Everyone’s a critic.
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acoolguyscoollife · 4 years
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Chapter 29: Worst Date Ever
Cool Guy
I took another look at the paper in my hand, ink now slightly smudged as I kept idly rolling it in my fingers while we walked. The directions were supposed to take us to a restaurant, which I felt was going to be the best date I could have taken Rose on. Rose, who was a few feet behind me, awkwardly following along and occasionally giving side-glances to the people that were around us. When she saw me looking, she gave me a smile, though a layer of uncomfortable-ness still bled through every so often. I didn’t blame her, of course, since the area was pretty bustling at the minute.
“So, how far away are we from it?” Rose asked, having now caught up to me since I had stopped my movements to try and focus more on the paper. Unfortunately, the inked-in directions were now almost illegible, with my mind having not even retained the directions that I’d already read, since my brain had a tendency to be an absolute bastard when I needed it to be useful. I took a moment to consider what my answer was going to be, as when I had mentioned the idea to Rose, I had seen her get visibly excited. Disappointing her wasn’t something I was keen on, so instead, I lied.
“I’m not quite sure on where we go next, so I’m going to ask around and see if other people know.” I replied, flashing her the patented half-grin before quickly scuttling away before she could respond. Once I was out of earshot, I let out a sigh, wiping my brow with the same piece of paper that had the scribbled directions on it. Probably left a stain, but I couldn’t see my own forehead so what did it matter? A few quick glances around my surroundings, and I picked out a merchant sat behind a stall that had no queue. I weaved my way through the crowds, having to crouch slightly in certain places just so I could get through the gaps that people weren’t leaving. Part of me was tempted to take my sword out and see if people gave me space, but the last time I took my sword out in a public place, people weren’t happy, so I decided against it.
“Hello, good sir!” The man greeted me, a loud booming voice reaching me while I still had a few more steps to take. “What can I do you for today?” I flipped a coin in my mind as to whether I was going to pretend to be interested in his wares or if I was just going to cut to the chase, but before I could, I noticed what looked like a map on a chair behind him.
“Sorry, could I borrow that?” I pointed a finger towards it as I spoke, and the merchant glanced behind himself with a small look of confusion. When he turned back, his barely-visible mouth was even less visible, lips pursed and almost covered by the large amounts of facial hair that quivered with every jaw movement he made.
“Well, ah, I don’t see why not, only…” The man’s accent sounded vaguely Scottish, but the softer kind of Scottish, not the scary kind. “I don’t suppose you could do me a favour, could ya lad?” By now, Rose had heard the conversation (as had, I imagine, many other people in the vicinity) and had come over to see what the fuss was about. “See, I’m trapped behind this thing all day, and sales aren’t so great, so all I can do is just stare at other people all day.” Rose looked at the man, then to me, then back at the man once more, this time more focused on him.
“So, you want a book or something?” I asked, uncertain, and the man snapped his fingers into a pointing gesture, which I could only assume meant I was right.
“A long one, if you could. Do that for me, and I’ll let you keep the map.” The merchant’s mouth became wide with a large, beaming smile, and I awkwardly returned it before turning away, Rose in tow.
“Did you just… start a side-quest?” She asked after a few moments, a hint of annoyance in her voice. I looked back at her, and her face confirmed what her voice had hinted at. There was probably a better way to have gone about things, but hey, at least it’d be fun.
“It won’t take long, and we get to help people out! It’ll just make the meal even better once we’ve worked up an appetite.” I reassured her, and though she didn’t change her expression, I had the feeling I’d gotten to her, since she didn’t speak up after that. I got us back to the middle of the town square, giving the area a quick look-around. Books shouldn’t be that hard to find, surely? Sure enough, after a few moments of searching, my eagle-eyes spotted a book stand, which I practically bounded over to, Rose still following with lacklustre enthusiasm. The woman behind the stand seemed to be the almost-textbook definition of an old, weathered woman in a war-torn land, as if she hadn’t gotten the memo that I had helped everyone to be able to live slightly better lives with what they wore. Though, on the other hand, the rags that she wore did look pretty damn comfortable, so maybe I’d have done the same if I’d been in her position. The ragged, oily hair, however, I couldn’t have dealt with having. I always kept a small comb in my pocket to keep my hair looking stylish, as it went well with my shades as framing my face pretty well.
“Whatchu wan’?” The woman said, spittle flying out with every word. Even though I knew that the world wasn’t a video-game one, I still kind of felt sorry for her, since she seemed to be such a clear stereotype that I almost wanted to pull a Pretty Woman on her, and I hadn’t even seen that movie.
“Uh, hi, I’m looking for a book!” I said, with a little too much enthusiasm that caused the woman to squint at me. Though, that could have just as easily been the fact that she probably needed glasses.  She gave me the suspicious look for a moment, before making a broad gesture with her hands towards the haphazard piles of books at her stall. It hadn’t occurred to me until now that her stand was also one that didn’t have any people coming to it, and I was starting to see why. “But uh, I actually don’t have any money, I don’t suppose you have a discount for people who helped end the rebellion and tyranny of the royals?” I flashed the cool grin again, but the woman was unimpressed. Her hand moved to her side, fingers twiddling on the handle of a knife. “Or, I could help you out with something?” This seemed to be the winning ticket to get me out of this conversation, as her hand came off the handle and sat back on the stall’s top.
“Bread.” The woman said, the one syllable coming with so much spit that a llama would have been jealous.
“Bread?” I repeated, sans-spit, just to be clear that we were on the same page.
“Bread.” The word had now been uttered for a third time, as if it was some secret code in a 90’s kids movie, and along with the word came a loud, annoyed groan from Rose.
“Fine, we’ll get your damn bread.” Rose said, grabbing me by the wrist and almost pulling me off my feet as she led me away. When we had gotten enough distance, she turned around, and the annoyance she’d had before had nothing on her now. “Why the hell are we doing this? Why didn’t you just steal one of her books while I caused a distraction?” It was pretty surprising to hear her saying all of this, since I would have thought she’d be against stealing.
“I’m not a thief!” I replied back, in a complaining tone that felt kind of ironic, since it was being reprimanded for not doing the morally-questionable thing.
“You stole your own damn sword, remember?” Rose reminded me, and I cursed under my breath, immediately regretting having told her everything that we’d done. “And then promptly set a town on fire.” She added, almost like she was rubbing it in.
“Yeah, but that was when I thought it wasn’t real, remember? If I could go back and fix that, I would have, but right now I’m keeping up with Tabitha, since she’s the one who knows where we need to be.” I tried explaining as best as I could, but I had the feeling Rose wasn’t happy with it. “It’s one more small diversion, and then we’ll get back on track.”
 One small diversion quickly turned to five, and while small diversions are, quite obviously, small, anything small in a large quantity will still be quite large at the end of the day. We’d definitely spent a few hours at this point, but the map was in my hand, and we were heading in the direction of the building that was the fancy restaurant that people had been hyping us up about any time we’d mentioned it. Soon enough, it loomed in front of us, even fancier than I’d imagined. I kind of felt awkward about not wearing any kind of suit, but I had a sneaking suspicion that if I tried to get a more formal attire, Rose would probably get even more infuriated. We began our walk to the entrance, and were a few feet away when Seth and Tabitha walked out of the door.
“Oh hey, guys! I was just about to contact you!” Tabitha said, cheerily, but my attention was immediately on Seth, recalling how he’d been acting beforehand. He met my gaze, almost able to look me dead on in the eyes even though the sunglasses didn’t give away where I was looking, and gave me a wide, toothy grin.
“So, is that Seth or Eddie?” I asked, and Seth/Eddie sighed a deep, long-lasting sigh that went on for at least five seconds longer than it had to.
“Does it matter, CG? Either way, it’s your BFF, the one who knows most of your secrets.” Seth said with a wink, and I grimaced a little, thinking of all the things he could end up telling people. Instead of giving him fuel, I turned my attention back to Tabitha, who was still smiling happily. For a moment, I worried about some kind of body-snatcher situation, with the parasite making its way into her body, but I knew that wasn’t going to be accurate.
“So, any leads on Uchen?” I asked, and Tabitha nodded so vigorously that I was prepared to catch her glasses if they fell off.
“Not only do I have leads, I have a sure-fire way to zone in on his precise location, give or take a few metres or miles. It’ll take a few days to reconfigure the machine, but after that, I’ll be able to find him!” Tabitha’s excitement was contagious, and the worries of everything else just slipped away, everything beginning to shape up to be pretty damn good.
“How’d you figure that one out?” I asked, once again impressed by the amount of prowess Tabitha had in areas like this. She opened her mouth, taking a deep breath in preparation for one of her patented Tabitha Technobabble speeches that I wouldn’t understand, but Seth stepped in.
“Eddie’s DNA is linked to the space between dimensions, so we can use that to analyse where people have travelled to, and use minute traces to find the person’s almost exact location in that dimension.” He explained, while also quickly giving away that it was indeed Seth I was talking to.
“Damn! That’s pretty awesome, now I feel bad for being weirded out by him.” I said, not including the fact that I still felt like he was a glorified tapeworm. Seth just grinned, as did Tabitha, and I could feel myself grinning too. As Tabitha began to tap away at her watch, most likely to contact Amy and Aki, I turned to Rose. “Everything’s worked for the best, huh?” I said brightly.
“Yeah, everything did.” Rose replied, her voice low, but I didn’t even notice. Everything was right, wasn’t it?
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