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redskull199987 · 2 years

Text

Always

Newt Scamander x female!reader Request

Word count:3.4k

Warnings:Blood, character death, beast killing someone(?), Canon typical violence, it's actually fluff

Summary: You and Newt were friends at Hogwarts, but he favored your Sister, Leta. Now, years after school, you have to join forces again, in order to fight Gellert Grindelwald...

Masterlist

Requested by Hi_Boy_Love on Wattpad

It was him. It had always been him. But I couldn't get myself to forgive him, I just couldn't.

So, instead of smiling or waving it anything, I just sat there, frozen in place, as his eyes landed on mine. For the entire evening I had prevented him from looking at me. Newt Scamander. The one and only Magizoologist and my former best friend. We went to Hogwarts together, but as always, my sister Leta caught his attention and the two of us talked less and less, until we didn't talk at all anymore. In the end, I befriended his brother Theseus and the two uf us started working at the ministry together. I could never forgive Newt for favoring my sister over me, I knew it was childish, but still...

He smiled at me shyly, which pulled my out of my trance, so I quickly looked away. Leta seemed to notice my Nervousness, so she grabbed my hand and smiled at me. It was a sad smile and immediately I knew what she was about to do.

"Leta", I whispered, "Don't!"

I closed my fingers around her hand trying to stop her from leaving me, but it was useless. She broke free and tumbled down the stairs.

"Leta!!", I yelled again, as she got dangerously close the the blue flames. I quickly grabbed my wand, trying to cast a spell to stop her, but Leta was faster. She turned around, an apologetic look on her face. She raised her wand against me:"Expelliarmus!!"

I was thrown to the ground, to far away to still help her. I looked back up and saw Leta standing in front of Grindelwald.

"Leta!?"

It was Theseus. Her fiancé and my best friend. His eyes looked glossy and he seemed so confused, not understanding what was going on. But Leta ignored him, she turned around and looked me in the eyes, a smile on her face, before she stepped into the flames.

And just like that, she was gone. My sister was gone.

"Leta?", I mumbled, not understanding what just happened. It couldn't be true, it couldn't. How could she be dead?!

"Xenia!?" I heard my name. I looked up, tears in my eyes. It was Newt. He kneeled down in front of me, an expression of pain on his face.

"We need to go", He whispered and put a Hand in my shoulder. I was too stunned to speak, so I only nodded. He gently pulled me onto my feet and guided me away from the flames.

In that moment, I didn't care. I didn't care about our fight, about our past, about nothing, I just followed Newt away from the flames.

But they grew hotter each second we tried to escape them. It seemed useless.

"Hurry!!",My face shot up. It was Flamel, he had found us. And he had a solution, so we ran, we ran and ran until we so rounded the flames.

Newt stopped right next to me and Theseus. I looked at the two brothers and nodded. Together, we rammed out wands into the ground, yelling:"Finite!!"

Red flames broke lose, circling the blue one's by Grindelwald. The heat was getting unbearable, but I threw up my arms and stayed in position. After a few minutes, I felt the heat dying down and looked back up. The graveyard was burnt to pieces, but everyone seemed alive and well.

Just now, I finally seemed to realize what had actually happend. I slowly fell to my knees, tears falling down my face. My sister was dead. Leta Lestrange was dead. I sniffled slightly and looked up at Theseus. He also had tears in his eyes. Of course, he just witnessed the love of his life die.

"Theseus?", I mumbled and grabbed his hand. His eyes fell on mine and then he lost it. He started sobbing and cried out in pain. I quickly pulled him in for a hug, letting my own tears fall freely.

Newt was still standng next to us and despite everything, I raisedmy hand and motioned for him to come to us. He had lost someone too. Newt slowly trotted over to us, his shaking hand took mine and I pulled him closer to Theseus and me. The two brothers looked at each other before nodding.

"We need to go", Theseus mumbled. Newt and I only nodded and grabbed his hand and Theseus apparated us to the french Ministry of magic . I sniffled quietly and wiped away my tears.

"I'm sorry", Newt whispered. I looked up at him, a little perplexed. "for everything", he mumbled. I carefully took his hand. Newt avoided looking at me, so I simply pulled him with me to sit down on a nearby bench, waiting for Theseus. I quietly put my head down on his shoulder. A few seconds of silence passed, each one of us lost in their thoughts.

"I know", I finally said and glanced at Newt. "I know", I repeated and squeezed his hand,"I forgive you"

"Oh come on", I cursed. Theseus and I were dangling from the ceiling in one of the best secured prisons of the the magical community.

"He'll come", Theseus assured, trying to turn towards me, but he just swung around helplessly.

"What makes you so sure?!", I asked, trying to think fo what Newt was currently doing. I was hoping, that he was save.

After my sister died, I barely had time to grieve. The situation with Grindelwald got much worse and we had to fight Him. Even Dumbledore decided to step into action now, even if he and Grindelwald still had the blood swear.

"Theseus?"

My head shot up. I turned to look at Theseus. He nodded, so he had heard it too.

"Xenia?"

No doubt that it was Newt. A grin rose onto my face. Theseus was right, he actually came to save us.

I was about to yell his name, but Theseus repeatedly shook his head, motioning for me to stop. And fortunately, I listened to him.

A few seconds later, we saw Newt trotting over to us. But he was walking like a crab with his arms in the air and legs spread.

"Rescuing us, are you?", Theseus mumbled.

Newt quietly answered:"That's the general idea"

"And I presume... This", Theseus said, looking at Newt confused,"Whatever it is, you are doing, is strategic"

Newt nodded:"Yes, it's a technique called limbic mimicry. It discourages violent engagement...theoretically. I've only actually attempted it once before"

"And the results?", I asked, looking at him.

"Uh...", Newt mumbled, arriving right in front of Theseus. "Inconclusive", He muttered, "Course that was a laboratory setting and the conditions were strictly controlled and the...Well, the current conditions are more volatile, so making it less predictive of the ultimate outcome."

Newt had waddled closer to us and slowly attempted to turn around, so that he was facing Theseus and me.

"The ultimate outcome presumably... Bing our survival", Theseus said and looked up and Newt, who was standing directly in front of him now.

Suddenly a tail emerged right behind Newt. It came out of the abyss that was hovering only a few feet under us.

The tail got closer to Newt. To close for my liking, but it only seemed to inspect him. Newt carefully craned away his head, trying to avoid touching it.

A few meters away from us, the light of one of the other inmates, suddenly started flickering before it ran out.

The tail, which was next to Newt quickly got away from him and started hissing at the inmate, before it sunk back into the abyss.

A few seconds later, a much bigger scorpion-looking tail emerged and grabbed the inmate, pulling him down with it, while all he could do was scream.

"Holy lord", I gulped.

Newt had slowly turned around and watched how the remains of the inmate were shot back up. All that was remaining was a stinky corpse, dipped in Secretions and juices from the scorpion.

Suddenly, all the tiny scorpions started marching away quickly. Newt could only look after them, as they started eating up the remains of the inmate.

Newt quickly jumped closer to Theseus, cutting open his fetters. I could hear a thud, presumably Theseus who fell to the ground.

He groaned, as Newt grabbed his lantern and stepped over to me.

"Hy", He mumbled as he also loosened my fetters. I also fell to the ground with a heavy thud.

"Hy", I groaned, as Newt grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.

"Are you alright?", he asked. I only nodded, rubbing my back.

Newt ran back out and Theseus and I followed him quickly.

"Shit", I mumbled, as I saw the army on little scorpions in front of us. They were blocking the way out.

"And the plan is?", Theseus asked, while I felt how Newt slowly pushed me behind him.

"Hold this", Newt said and handed me his latern. I quickly grabbed it and held it up. Newt folded his hands and started whistling. The sound echoed through the caves, as Theseus and I waited for something to happen.

"What the bloody hell was that for?", Theseus whispered, looking at Newt from the corner of his eye.

"Um..", Newt breathed, "We're gonna need some help."

He suddenly lifted his arms, getting into the scorpion-like position, he was in earlier. Theseus and I backed away a little bit, as the tiny scorpions all mimicked Newt's pose.

Theseus and I quickly tried to copy Newt's pose. The lantern dangled around in my hand, as I did my best to do it exactly like him. He suddenly started swinging his hips:"Follow me"

I gulped and started at him, as I slowly trailed behind Newt, trying to copy his actions. I looked behind me, seeing that Theseus was also struggling to find the right rhythm.

"Come on", Newt mumbled quietly. The three of us, were slowly walking along the path together with the tiny scorpions who all copied our actions. We looked like a weird magicall dance group, practicing for their next gig.

"You're not swiveling properly", Newt said, eyeing Theseus' hip swings.

"Swivel...", he tried to explain, "Swivel, but delicately"

"I'm swiveling like you're swiveling, Newt", Theseus said sternly, even though it was obvious that he struggled.

"I don't believe you are", Newt mumbled, tilting his head.

"Shut up, you two", I mumbled and gave them both and stern look.

Suddenly the lantern in my hand started flickering too. Newt and Theseus immediately stopped fighting and looked at the light in my hand.

But luckily, it didn't go out. Unfortunately the light in the chamber right behind me started flickering too now, before it ultimately stopped glowing.

"Bloddy hell", I whispered before ducking away quickly, as the Gigantic scorpion tail emarged from the abyss and grabbed the inmate behind me.

I quickly got up and waddled over to Newt, as I saw the Corpse already flying back up. I stumbled into Newt's side and he quickly put his arm around me, preventing me from falling.

"Are you alright?", Newt mumbled and looked down at me.

"Mmh", I nodded, as I glanced at the tiny scorpions eating up the corpse.

Newt and I looked at Theseus and he nodded:"Swivel"

I parted from Newt and the three of us started trotting away again.

After a few minutes, we finally reached the entrance of our cave.

We were ready to step out, when I heard a crunching sound behind me.

Newt and I turned around and saw that Theseus had stepped on one of the tiny scorpions. He slightly shook his foot, to get it away from his shoe. 'Gross', I thought to myself.

Suddenly the lantern in my hand started flickering again, but this time, it finally stopped glowing.

I looked around as all the scorpions hurried out of the cave, leaving the three of us behind.

I couldn't believe my eyes, as I turned around and saw at least four of the giant scorpion tails, coming out of the abyss. The creature growled at us, before it started to attack.

A yell escaped my lips, as Newt, Theseus and I started running away.

"Woah", I yelped, as the cave crashed right in front of me, a Scorpion tail destroying the wall. I quickly got up and backed away. I ran into the other direction and duck away from the glowing splotches of Secretion, that the scorpion fired at me.

I had to stop, trying to catch my breath as the tiny scorpions suddenly so rounded me again. I quickly backed away, back into the cave, but right now, the Gigantic creature was emerging completely. It seemed like I had no way out. It hissed at me, and rammed it's tail into the wall right next to me. I whimpered slightly and backed away. I ran across the path towards the entrance. It seemed like a parkour, since every few seconds one of the tails rammed into the earth right next to me. I finally made my way out and started running like the devil was chasing me.

As I crossed an intersection, I was able to spot Newt for a second, who was also running away. I turned left and saw him running towards me. I sprinted the last few meters towards him and he grabbed my hand, pulling me with him, as Theseus also joined the two of us. Together, we sprinted towards the entrance, as the ceiling started to crumble. Right after we escaped, it crashed down and closed the entrance once and for all.

I tried to catch my breath, as I thought we were save, but suddenly a tail came up behind us. It slung around Theseus and pulled him away.

"No wait!!", Newt yelled and the two of us grabbed one of Theseus' hands each and tried pulling him back to us. It seemed almost impossible, as Newt lost Theseus' hand.

He was pulled closer to the abyss and so was I. I landed flat on my stomach, as I tried to prevent Theseus from being pulled into the abyss.

"Newt!", he yelled, as I struggled to hold him up. He grabbed both of my hands tightly and tried to pull himself up.

Newt ran to us, grabbing my other hand, building up a chain. Suddenly Pickett came flying towards us, Newt's Wand in his hand. He quickly grabbed it and yelled:"Accio!!"

Only seconds later the three of us fell into the abyss, as Teddy, Newt's Niffler, came flying right after us.

"Grab the tie!!", Newt yelled. I did as he told and the port key activated. The three of us were apparated out of the prison.

We landed somewhere in a Forrest. The cold air hit my face, as we landed on the ground. Thanks to Theseus and Newt, I landed gently, as I toppled down on the both of them.

I groaned slightly and got up, as I noticed that the scorpion tail was still around Theseus, as him and Newt got up too. He quickly pushed it away, the tie though was still in his hand. It hissed and crawled away quickly.

Thesus lifted the Tie and handed it over to Newt, since Teddy was still clinging to it.

"That was a portkey", he said sternly.

"Yeah", Theseus mumbled.

"Well done you Two", Newt said as we reached the lake right in front of us. I couldn't believe my eyes at what I saw. A smile appeared on my face, as I took in the sight of Hogwarts, right in front of us.

"Come on", I smiled and pulled the two wizards with me.

As we entered the great hall, I immediately spotted Lally sitting next to a couple students.

"Lally!", I shouted and she looked over to us.

"What kept you three?", she asked and got up.

"Uh", I mumbled, "We encountered some complications. You?"

"We encountered some complications", she repeated and handed me the Newspaper that she was holding.

I opened it and looked at the headline perplexed.

"Jacob tried to murder Grindelwald?", Theseus asked, after he peered over my shoulder.

"It's a long story", Lally said.

She turned around and I spotted Jacob sitting at the Dinner table with some Students, they were talking about his new wand.

"Jacob", Lally said sternly, catching his attention, "Look who I found"

"Hey", he smiled and quickly got up,"Its my wizard friends, Newt, Theseus and Xenia"

He looked back at the students and crossed his fingers:"We're like this. I gotta go, alright. Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do"

I smiled at our muggle friend. He never failed to impress me with his charisma.

"Do you believe this place?", he asked, as he stepped over to us, "They got pint-sized little witches and wizards running around here"

"You don't say", I chuckled. I saw Theseus smile slightly before he slowly walked away from us.

"I was the assassin", Jacob mumbled, leaning closer to me and Newt. A smiled at him, giving Newt a look and a chuckle left his lips.

"Newt, Theseus and Xenia all went to Hogwarts", Lally explained with a smile before we followed Theseus.

"Oh, I knew that. Well, they're being very nice to me. The Slytherin boys over there, they gave me these", Jacob smiled and held up a package of candy,"They're delicious. Who wants one?"

Newt and I turned around and Eyed the box that he was holding.

"Well, I never cared for cockroach clusters much myself, although Honeydukes are supposed to be the best", I explained

The bell chimed and the students all got up and Started to leave, while the four of us stepped over to Dumbledore. He did not seem happy.

After explaining the situation to us, Dumbledore lead us to his brother, who lived in Hogsmead.

"Here we are", Dumbledore said and opened the door for us.

"Bunty, you're here", Newt said and looked over to his assistant.

"Yes", she smiled.

Newt finally noticed the Quilin standing to his feet.

"How is she?", he asked and leaned down.

"Oh, she's fine", Bunty said. She grabbed Newt's case and let out the other Nifflers.

"What's Alfie done now?", Newt asked as he crawled into his hand, scolding the little guy.

"Miss Broadacher, I trust my brother has been a gracious host?", Dumbledore asked and caught my attention. He eyed Bunty questioningly.

"Yes, ever so gracious", she smiled.

"I'm delighted to hear", Dumbledore said and turned to his brother,"Uh,so room's have been arranged for you in the village and Aberforth here will prepare you a delicious dinner, his own recipe"

To be honest, the soup Aberforth made, didn't look to delicious. The taste was astonishing though.

I looked over to Newt, as I caught him staring.

"Newt?", I mumbled and nudged his arm, "Can we talk for a second?"

He only nodded and followed me outside as I excused the two of us.

We stepped outside into the cold and I quickly turned around, looking at Newt. He was avoiding my eyes.

"Newt... I...", I whispered and grabbed his arm. I gently pulled him closer to me and he let me. "Newt, I...I want to thank you. Ehm, for saving my life.", I mumbled. I felt his breath hit my face and I looked up at him. His face was inches away from mine and he finally looked into my eyes.

"Xenia", he whispered. I couldn't help myself. I pulled him closer by his arm and our lips collided in a soft kiss. I closed my eyes, as I felt his arms wrap around me gently, like he was afraid to hurt me. I put my arms around his neck, as I deepened the kiss.

"I love you", I blurted out as we parted,"I always have" Newt didn't say anything and for a second, I thought that I had spoken to soon. I looked down in embarressment, but suddenly I felt how Newt's hand rose to carress my face. He leaned down and softly kissed me again.

"I love you too", he smiled,"I always have"

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kimitofutari · 10 months

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#fantastic beasts #fantastic beasts the secrets of dumbledore #newt scamander #theseus scamander #callum turner #eddie redmayne #fantastic beasts 3 #harry potter #turnred #thesewt #scamander brothers #scamandercest #callum x eddie #theseus x newt #my posts

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overthinkingisasideeffect · 2 years

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So we all agree...

Newt walked Tina home after the wedding.

#newtina #newt and tina #tina goldstein #newt scamander #fantastic beasts 3 #fbawtft #fantastic beats and where to find them #fbtcog #fantastic beasts the crimes of grindelwald #eddie redmayne #katherine waterston #fantastic beasts and the secrets of dumbledore #fbtsod

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eveneechan · 2 years

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"Beautiful photographs of Tina (Goldstein)" - Eddie Redmayne

"He's (Newt) not with Tina, but her photo is pasted on the case lid, so his heart is very much there" - Eddie Redmayne

"They (Newt and Tina) are separated almost by war or by tension. The love is there and and the love is strong" - Eddie Redmayne

"Tina and Newt might have spent most of the film apart, but it was clear that she always on his mind. The photo of her in his suitcase proved that"

#newtina #newt scamander #tina goldstein #fantastic beasts #fantastic beasts the secrets of dumbledore #fantastic beasts secrets of dumbledore #secrets of dumbledore #fantastic beasts 3 #eddie redmayne #katherine waterston

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shikshiin · 2 years

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Does it ever drive you crazy?

Just how fast the night changes ..

#tina goldstein #fantastic beasts #newt scamander #newtina #fantastic beasts and where to find them #katherine waterston #fbawtft #eddie redmayne #fbtsod #fantastic beasts 3 #eddrine #crimes of grindelwald #fbcog

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lolita-mini · 2 years

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#animais #a garota dinamarquesa #a teoria de tudo #crimes of grindelwald #einar #fantastic beasts #felicity jones #goblet of fire #harry potter #the theory of everything #eddie redmayne #eddie #fantastic beasts 3 #fantastic beasts: the secrets of dumbledore

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skwinwin · 2 years

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Me after watching the FB3 deleted scene “Newt’s House”

#fantastic beasts 3 #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts and the secrets of dumbledore #fantastic beasts #newt scamander #theseus scamander #thesewt #scamander brothers #callum turner #eddie redmayne #fantastic beasts 3 deleted scenes #did they write the scene according to fanfic?

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stiffon · 2 years

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I need more Fantastic Beasts and Grindeldorr on my Tumblr. please like this post so I can follow you

#grindeldore #fantastic beasts 3 #fantastic beasts #mads as grindelwald #grindelwald #albus dumbledore #jude law #newt scamander #eddie redmayne #mads mikkelsen

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bibliophile-runi · 2 years

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youtube

How they wrote Fantastic Beasts 3. 🤔

A writers' room comedy sketch.

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jaskiersbard · 7 months

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Chapter 10: A Promise Kept (FINAL CHAPTER)

It's been seven months since I first began writing the first draft of this fic, originally for purely my enjoyment and with no intention of publishing it...and here we are, ten chapters in, the fic is finished and I'm posting the last part of it here for anyone interested to read. It has been months of love, devotion, sweat, tears, panic and goodness knows what else but I'm proud to say that I have finished this absolutely TITANIC fic. There are things I want to go back and write better, but perhaps that's for the future - for now, I'm simply proud of the work I've done given that it took a long time and I genuinely tried my best. I won't talk too much here as I don't want to give away spoilers for this chapter, but what I will say is that it involves a character death that may cause you to need tissues, and something that could potentially piss a LOT of people off. I hope people enjoy it anyway. Obviously I need to credit James Cameron for his film - Titanic is my favourite film of all time, hands down - and Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet for being incredible actors in the film, so incredible that their chemistry inspired this fic and doubtless many other Titanic AU fics in other fandoms. I'm also giving credit to Eddie Redmayne and Katherine Waterston whose chemistry in Fantastic Beasts was NOT used enough (*sobs*), and who are both not only amazing actors but also incredible people. Part of me still hopes we get more Beasts movies, but if we don't then I need Eddie and Katherine in a movie together as love interests IMMEDIATELY. A huge thank you to everyone who has read even just one chapter of this fic, left kudos', comments, reviews etc. I am grateful for any readers I get, I truly am, especially since I know this is a strange one and for a fandom that is no longer as active or beloved as it once was. But I am so grateful, all the same, to have been able to combine two loves of mine into one and to be able to share the result with you all. So from the bottom of my autistic geeky Titanic-obsessed little heart, thank you all so much <3

#newtina #newt scamander #tina goldstein #porpentina goldstein #fantastic beasts #fantastic beasts and where to find them #titanic #newtina fanfiction #newtina titanic au #titanic au

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eddieredmayneargentinablog · 3 months

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"Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald" Press Conference" > California, November 3, 2018. (HD)

📸 Source : Eddie Redmayne Central

#eddie redmayne #eddieredmayne #redmayne #fantastic beasts the crimes of grindelwald #press conference #november 2018 #newt scamander #black and white

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theredmaynefiles · 9 months

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My Story: A Journey of Loss & Depression

Let me start by saying this isn't a blog about Eddie. I'm not sure why I'm even posting this here, except that for the longest time, I've needed some sort of outlet for some of the things I'm struggling with... and as this is my only blog, I guess this is it. Maybe someone out there will read this & be able to relate. Maybe it will help explain why my blog on Eddie has gone largely silent. Or maybe no one will even notice. Whatever. I need to get this out.

So first of all, hey there, I'm Marci. You know me as an Eddie Redmayne blogger, but I'm also a mom to a son who has ASD & a person who has dealt with what seems - to me, at least - to have been a lot of crap to cope with over the past 8 years. And I've reached a point where coping is more like just existing but more on that in a bit. Maybe.

My dad was always the strongest person I've ever known. He wasn't perfect, but he was one of those dads that could fix anything & always knew the answers to anything you want to know. In October 2013, my dad was diagnosed with cancer - specifically non-Hodgkins lymphoma. My family wasn't new to this particular diagnosis, as my brother, Jeff, was diagnosed with the same cancer in 1999. At this point, Jeff was considered in remission after successfully completing chemo & radiation treatment. So we thought we knew what to expect. Thing is, dad's cancer was in his stomach (my brother's started in his neck) & it was extremely aggressive. I became my father's caregiver. Besides cancer, he was diabetic & dealing with kidney failure. We saw doctors 3-5 times a week for the next year+. My dad went through 3 different types of chemo, including one clinical trial. None of it made any difference, and the cancer continued to spread. In January 2015, he was put on hospice, & in May 2015, my dad died. I wasn't entirely unprepared for this - I mean he was on hospice, & I've worked at a hospital & nursing home, & seen how this sort of things goes many times, but seeing it happen to your own dad - & someone who was so freaking strong - was really rough. It was a horrible experience.

After dad passed, a lot of things changed. Jake & I moved into a house my dad had left us, leaving my mom (with whom I'd always had a very complicated relationship, to say the least) on her own. In late 2016, while watching 'Fantastic Beasts', Jake suddenly exclaimed, "Mom, Newt is autistic like me!" It caught my interest, & my blog was born of it. For the next year & a half or so, it was an amazing creative outlet for me. Eddie is an incredibly talented actor & a truly kind-hearted human being, who actually makes it a point to connect with his fans. I've spoken to him a few times during the fan interviews, & he even wrote me a letter during the pandemic, which was both shocking & awesome. To be honest, though, the best thing about my blog was meeting Charlotte, AKA @bespokeredmayne, who has become one of my dearest friends, & is an amazing person in her own right. (total shout out there!)

My mom didn't cope well with my dad’s passing, & in March 2018, she had a stroke. She died less than a month later. I've already said we had a complicated relationship - without going into that much more, my mom was a narcissist who enjoyed hurting people. My feelings about her are still not great, even after she's been gone for over 5 years. I have a lot of guilt about that, but it is what it is. What I don't understand is why, after she died, my creativity died, too. I couldn't blog anymore. Mind you, at this same time, I was dealing with some health issues - I'd been having mobility issues, which I started seeing a doctor for in early 2018, but mom's sudden passing kind of shunted all of that to the side. Still, I can't even begin to explain the way things changed for me, much less to understand why I was so affected.

The next year was okay, we went to England, which was a lifelong dream, & things seemed like they were mostly going well enough, despite my increasing mobility issues as well as memory issues. While sorting through all our parents' stuff to get their house ready to sell, my brother, Jeff, and I became closer - we'd always been reasonably close, I guess. We got along well as siblings, despite an age gap of just over 10 years (he was older). He'd looked out for me when I was little & we were friends as adults, which is more than either of us could say about our other sibling, who has been estranged from us both since the 90s. So, yeah... we were pretty close.

So I mentioned about mobility issues, memory issues, etc. I had thought that at least part of this was some kind of ongoing complications from a car wreck I was in back in '95. Turns out, it wasn't - I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 3 years ago. In the time since then, with the pandemic in full swing for much of the time, I became homebound. Besides the MS, I have asthma, & also a vaccine allergy. Between that & the autoimmune disease, I cannot be vaccinated, & I am at high rick for severe covid because of my health. Ironic, no? Add that to my increasing mobility issues & my life became more & more isolated.

The summer of 2021, my brother, in his 50s at the time, was diagnosed with heart failure. The cardiologist he was referred to said this was likely a complication of the chemo he'd had years earlier. In December 2021, just a few days before my birthday, he texted me that he was going to the e/r - this was around 2 in the morning. He texted me one more time after that, & then... nothing. I kept trying to get ahold of him, or the hospital, to find out what was going on, but no one answered until about 4 hours later, when I finally got someone at the e/r. To my absolute shock, she told me my brother was dead. He died less than an hour after his last text to me, of a sudden cardiac arrest. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. To this day, I cannot really cope with it. I don't know why it's hit me so hard - I see people who cope with loss & move on, & I did that with my parents, but this one, I couldn't. It was like it was too much, losing both parents & then my brother. It has destroyed me in some way. I'm not the person I was before. So much loss, & then everything else....

One the day my brother died, I went to the hospital to say goodbye to him. I didn't leave my house again until about 4 weeks ago when our cat needed the emergency vet. For a year & a half, I stayed home. (& I haven’t gone out again since bringing our cat home) I work from home as a data analyst. I pay my bills online, & have my groceries, etc, delivered. The only person I see is Jake. My world is so isolated & so depressing. I'm very limited in what I can physically do & that adds massively to the depression. Plus, & this will probably sound selfish, but it's true nonetheless, ever since my brother died, I've felt this sense of impending doom & hopelessness. Like I'm next & it's only a matter of time. I don't know what to do about any of it. I sit here, in my messy house (I hate mess, but I can't physically do most of the cleaning, & Jake doesn't really do cleaning, despite being a huge help to me in other ways) & I exist. Nothing much changes from one day to the next. I feel not only so depressed, but such a horrible anxiety about my life, & about what will happen to Jake if something happens to me. And yet I feel totally helpless to do anything to change any of it. I just feel so emotionally exhausted all the time, like I can't cope with anything at all.

So, yeah... that's me. If you've made it this far, you're probably either bored to tears or disgusted with my moaning. Still, if you've read this, thanks. If anyone reads it, at least I'm not keeping it all to myself anymore. Maybe offloading all of this here will somehow make it easier for me to cope with it. Either way, it's out!

#depression loss ms

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scamanderishredmayniac · 1 year

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When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then it send to the last ten people in your notifications (anonymously). You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity.

1. Eddie Redmayne!! I just love seeing him on my screen, be it interviews or films etc. Even reading interviews in articles of him makes me happy. He’s just amazing and has that voice, face, and personality that makes people happy. Well he does me. I’d be even happier if one day I get to meet him. But I doubt we’ll ever meet sadly. Just chatting to him or spending the day with him would make me happy, I’ve heard lots of good experiences from people who have met him, who all say he’s just wonderful.

2. Watching Fantastic Beasts, all three films make me happy.

3. Newt Scamander: I love seeing him on my screen, reading fan fiction about him, or seeing fan art with him in it. It just makes me happy seeing those things. Even just learning new information about him would make me happy. Another person I would just be happy chatting to or spending the day with. (Probably because he’s a character played by Eddie, but my all time favourite of his characters.

4. Just being silly with friends and chatting to them. I have one or two mutuals who I do this with on tumblr. It makes me happy when I get surprise messages from them, or when we just talk through tags or reblogs of each others posts. Online friends are fun as well as real life ones.

5. It makes me happy when people enjoy my works, like my writing and or artwork. I like seeing people interact with my fan fics or artwork, just like any other creative artist. It’s not often that people like or reblog my stuff. I know I’m not as artistic, or imaginative with my writing, but I like what I produce and I want people to enjoy them too, which is why I share them. So when people reblog, click like/vote/kidos, or comment etc and interact through my work, it makes me very happy to see that. I want people to enjoy what I create as much as I do. so the interest and enjoyment of my art, weather writing or drawing makes me enormously happy to see that there are people out there who enjoy and actually like my work. So if you enjoy my works, please don’t hesitate to let me know by commenting or reblogging. It really does make me happy, and motivates me too. :))

#anonymous #asks #5 things that make me happy #eddie redmayne #newt scamander #fan fic #artwork #fantastic beasts

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eveneechan · 2 years

Text

(TSOD SPOILER)

'and I could dance forever with you'

i wish can see Tina's dress in wedding scene more clearly ;w;

And wish the scene inside bakery is longer x"D

Also, Katherine/Tina in that last scene is so stunning 😩❤❤

#newtina #tina goldstein #newt scamander #fantastic beasts #fantastic beasts spoiler #spoiler #fantastic beasts secrets of dumbledore #secrets of dumbledore #fantastic beasts the secrets of dumbledore #fantastic beasts 3 #eddie redmayne #katherine waterston

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newt-and-salamander · 1 year

Text

I posted 302 times in 2022

That's 141 more posts than 2021!

66 posts created (22%)

236 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@scamanderishredmayniac

@occamyeggshells

@eddieredmayneargentinablog

@love-arrogance-naivety

@elisha-am

I tagged 293 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#fantastic beasts - 201 posts

#newt scamander - 155 posts

#fbsod - 116 posts

#eddie redmayne - 66 posts

#theseus scamander - 52 posts

#tina goldstein - 43 posts

#newtina - 31 posts

#fbcog - 30 posts

#fbawtft - 30 posts

#fanart - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but they need to give a lot of answers and being most plot lines to an preliminary ending so they can stop after this film if they need to

My Top Posts in 2022:

Headcanon:

When his brother was born, it was Theseus who decided that “Newton” was too toplofty a name for such a shy, quiet child. He started calling him “Newt” and somehow this nickname stuck with him when they grew older and Newton didn’t shed this certain awkwardness he had already possessed as a child.

Some things changed, though. It has been a long time since Newt referred to his brother as “Thes”.

127 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

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A post shared by elix (@elixomus)

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Newt and Tina travelling together

132 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

Theseus: I'm so worried about Newt.

Tina: Why? Everything is fine!

Theseus: But he might be up to something stupid!

Jacob: ... oh, there you are! Hey, what's wrong? You two look devastated.

Tina: ... we are very worried about Newt.

134 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

Newt, after his return from WW1, talking to his mother: ... and Sylvia has the most beautiful eyes, you should see them, they are sparkeling like diamonds! And she's such a nice girl, actually the friendliest of all of them, and I think she was always happy to see me ...

Theseus, who has overheard that, smirking: Sounds like you should ask her out for dinner, Newt.

Newt: I don't think that would be a great idea.

Theseus: C'mon, don't be shy, you obviously like her a lot and it's time you get yourself a girlfriend!

Newt: ... Sylvia is literally a Ukranian Ironbelly.

Theseus: Please forget everything I just said. Don't take her out for dinner.

Newt: You know, the longer I think about it, the more I like the idea ...

Theseus: The more I think about it, the more I hate it, actually.

Newt: Well, that has never stopped me.

Theseus: Newt, NO. Besides everything else, you are going to lose your job.

Newt: ... this idea is getting better and better. Do you think -

Theseus: NO!!

Newt: ... do you think there's enough room for a small dragon in the Ministry's cafeteria? - Hey, where are you going?

Theseus: Calling a lawyer. And a healer.

Newt: I don't think somebody will get hurt.

Theseus: A mind healer.

190 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Just watched SoD, it's almost 4 am and I am happy and overwhelmed. Here are just some first impressions in the order that come to my mind, so massive spoilers below the cut!!

Newt is the sweetest and kindest human being this world has ever known.

Jacob too!

I seriously thought for a few seconds Jacob would become Supreme Mugwump. XD (It would have been really epic though.)

Basically everything Jacob said was hilarious, I just love him so much!!!

Mads Mikkelsen just was so so so so so good! Of course Grindelwald had much more screen time than in the previous films so it was easier, but still he managed to bring a depth and some kind of ... likeability to Grindelwald's character. I liked that very much.

I also appreciate how clear they made that Dumbledore was in love with Grindelwald (Although this can't be called a secret, really. :D)

Albus had no secrets left, it was really about Aberforth?!?! Whew, I mean, I thought it could be coming, but still ...

Also: What's wrong with the Dumbledores? Ariana is an Obscurus, Aberforth's son is an Obscurus ... And how did both brothers manage to make such grave mistakes in only one summer?

I don't feel like after everything that happened in SoD, Aberforth has the right to still be so angry and cold against Albus (as shown in HP).

Newt was really lucky he wasn't killed in his first scene. :0

In general I was surprised by the really lighthearted tone of the film - even in the more dramatic scenes I was never really afraid someone would die.

THIS FILM HAD WIZARDS ON ROOFTOPS, I AM HAPPY.

Newt was so happy and excited so many times, so I am very happy and excited now!!! How cute was it when he met Lally and they were basically both fangirling about each other???

Newt saying "She is" when talking about Tina, omg!!! And them finally meeting again!!! (Damn Lally, bad timing!!!!)

I'm not really content with the explanation they gave for Tina's absence, though. I mean, Theseus is head auror too, and he seems to be able to go and do where/what he wishes.

Can we talk about the wide grin on Theseus face when he witnessed just how much in love Newt was in the end?? Maybe that's even my favourite moment! Him just being so happy for Newt and looking out for him and EVERYONE BEING HAPPY FOR A CHANGE!!!

Ok, maybe my favourite scene was Jacob being happy and closing his eyes so he won't see Queenie before the wedding ceremony and he's GETTING MARRIED TO QUEENIE AAAAHHHHH!!! I must say I had lost hope for the two of them!

Will Newt and Tina kiss offscreen now?!?!?

Dumbledore, whyyyy didn't you go into the bakery? Isn't it actually a bit impolite to just wait around in the street and walk away??

Newt practising his speech as best man *-* I love it how clumsy he was during every situation he was in a kind of leading position.

How did Aberforth and Credence establish the mirror connection???

I'm a bit confused and so, so tired.

How did Aberforth even find out Credence was his son??

Maybe Credence doesn't have to die. We know that Newt can separate an Obscurus from its host, so maybe he can save him?

Wtf they did break the blood pact by ACCIDENT???? NOOOO, I'm not happy with that!!! That's to ... easy and random.

Just for the record, snow is not the usual weather in Berlin (but then there always seems to be snow everywhere in the FB films XD). I rather liked wizarding Germany btw. The architecture and the little details like the signs and the stamps (a cliché that always works because it's funny and also still true I'm afraid).

The scene with Theseus and Newt in prison was a bit random but super funny, so I'll allow it. XD But I'm still disturbed that they just stunned Theseus and dragged him away and everyone was like ... it's alright, we can look for him later. (It's also not very healthy to hang upside down, but Thesues can manage it ... because. Because he's epic and very handsome and I like him very much.)

The brothers finally, finally bonding!!! Not talking, though. But who needs to talk anyway.

Bunty was great! I'm happy that she was not helpless in her love. She's still in love with Newt and he has no clue and she knows it's in vain, but she's not jealous or bitter but makes a deliberate decision to help. She definitely deserves more credit.

See the full post

271 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #looks like I haven't missed it after all #my year in review #Instagram

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