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#dumbass yuu
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Dumbass! Yuu headcanon
Yuu walks straight up to the OB! Boys, smiles at him, and gives them a hug, despite their unique magic in effect.
"It's alright, you don't have to hold it in anymore, just let everything out you big dummy."
Which, you know, probably actually works. For someone as dense as Dumbass!Yuu, they’re pretty sharp with what others are feeling and know what the others need even if they don’t verbalize it. Riddle looks stressed? They’re going to make something sweet for the Heartslabyul Dorm Leader! Trey looks bothered by something? Yuu’s gonna help him solve whatever that problem is! And so on...
Although the OB boys do try to attack Yuu at first (since sometimes we just get so caught up with our emotions that we don’t notice what we do/say until we clear our heads), it has no effect with Yuu’s unnatural and god-like luck. Yuu wins through negotiations and wholesomeness alone.
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Epel looks at the rest of the first year group: i pity the people who will have to be our underclass men.
Ace: why?
Ace still sweating after running away from Riddle for a bad test grade, Deuce still wearing his pink clothing and threatening some student because they made a yo mama joke, Grimm in a food coma from stealing various dishes from around the school, Jack holding Yuu on his shoulders while they try and befriend Lucious(its not working), and Sebek telling Yuu to throw Lucious at him because master Lilia told him a special trick to get cats to like you(he will get claw marks on his face for this).
Epel: we’re all dumb fucks.
Ace:…
Epel menacingly: and if we are allowed to become 3rd years there will be hell to pay.
Ace: yeah, ok, time to stop eating those weird mushrooms Jade gave you-
Epel: IM GONNA BE THE QUEEN ONE DAY, SUCK ON THAT VILLLLL!
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kenchann · 5 months
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i gave him a lawnmower
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spacespheal · 11 months
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I found something new to obsess over
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(Inspired by kendy’s post cause now I’ve been thinking about it for way too long) what would y’all’s “filler episode” be in a series about you and your blorbo
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lisaas2418 · 9 months
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The difference is BIG 😅
First Year Gang: Caring Mutals 😊
Our Gang: Chaotic Dumbasses 😅
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justamegafan · 1 year
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Twisted Wonderland Incorrect Quote #6
Wednesday!Yuu won’t Hesitate
W!Yuu is sent to RSA for a week in exchange with an RSA Student for a Mutual Understanding Relationship, and she already has plans to commit arson to the school… and then Crowley’s office
RSA Student: Hi! I’m (Random Name)! Why are you dressed like that?
Wednesday!Yuu: Like What?
RSA Student: Like your going to a Funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died?
Wednesday!Yuu: Wait
NRC Students and Staff (Can already tell RSA won’t be able to survive a day with W!Yuu): Have Fun!
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Thing and Tsunotarou are the only ones upset about the situation since Thing isn’t allowed to come as he’ll not a Student while poor Mal-Mal won’t be able to talk to his Child of Macabre about the Gargoyle’s or her Morbid Tales (While the school is just laughing at W!Yuu’s ‘misfortune’ to be in a Happy, Bring and Cheerful School full of Sparkles and an ACTUAL spectrum of Colors)
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gaydexvocaloid · 1 month
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the color coding of mio's zolas... god dammit im thinking of the powerpuff girl's again
OMG POWERPUFF ZOLA ANON YOU HAVE RETURNED TO ME!!!???! BUT UR SO RIGHTTTT AHGGGG. powerpuff zola project will never NOT be adorable. mio’s designs solidify this…
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twistedoverbloat · 2 years
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Yuu decided to inhale hairspray.
Yuu: *eyes blown out* I just inhaled an entire thing of Vil's hairspray and I am tripping balls right now-
Vil: OH my great 7 why would you-
Yuu: better question is how am I still alive-
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hetapeep41 · 6 months
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Happy birthday to one of my favorite anime characters! Yuu Asuka means alot to me. Their story and their coming out will never fail to make me cry and feel seen. They have a special place in my heart because of that.
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werkwerkelizaaa · 2 years
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Jello Legs
cross-posted from AO3. Words: 2113.
The ambiance of the pleasant spring day was only slightly ruined by the multiple teenage boys shouting “SHOW US YOUR LEGS, AZUL!”
Yuu’s hand tangled in their hair. “How did we even end up here?”
“I’m asking myself the same thing…”
Ace was jolted out of doodling unflattering portraits of the teachers due to a book nearly smashing his head. “Hey! Watch where you drop that thing!” He yelled at Deuce, who was pale as a sheet.
Grim reached one paw out and waved it in front of his face. “Hello? Deuce, are you still with us?”
“Octopi don’t have bones…” Deuce mumbled weakly.
Ace huffed and crossed his arms. “Thanks Deuce, very cool, that has absolutely nothing to do with anything so can you please—“
Yuu pursed their lips thoughtfully. “Azul’s an octoman, isn’t he?”
Deuce shot them a shaky smile, glad someone was able to catch on. “Exactly…”
Ace and Grim looked equally unamused. “And?”
Deuce pointed at the book he had dropped moments earlier.
“Marine Biology,” Ace read aloud as he leaned back in his chair, balancing on the back two legs. “Hm, sounds boring. And cold.”
“There are many benefits to…” Yuu muttered to themself.
Grim looked back and forth between Deuce and the book. “So… does Azul have bones?”
Ace laughed out loud. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course he— uh. Hm.” He scratched the back of his head. “Only one way to find out!”
He jumped out of his seat, causing it to topple over as he ran out of the library. “This is so much better than homework!” Ace called out as he disappeared around the corner.
Yuu and Deuce sighed in unison before racing after him, Grim riding on Deuce’s shoulders.
“Should’ve kept my mouth shut…” Deuce said regretfully to himself as they followed after their friend.
Yuu stopped suddenly and threw an arm out across Deuce’s chest. “Retreat, retreat—“ they hissed, ducking behind a thin pillar. “Tread carefully.”
Deuce shadowed them, poking his head out above theirs to peek around their makeshift camouflage.
“As you can see,” Ace was saying with his hands waving about in the air, “I am unarmed and mean no ill will towards you or either one of your fine, intimidating— HEY!”
He squawked ungracefully as Jade lifted him off his feet and began frisking him. Ace squirmed to no avail. In all likelihood, he was just making things worse for himself. “Whoa, there, Mr. frigid hands! At least buy me dinner first!”
Jade quickly finished up his search and dropped Ace unceremoniously on the floor after that comment.
Ace scrambled to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, chuckling nervously. “Just a joke, fellas…”
The three members of Octavinelle each raised an unimpressed eyebrow in unison.
Ace leaned to the side and decided to take a page out of Cater’s book. “Listen, Azul, sweetie… I’ve always admired how dedicated you are to… money… and I was wondering if—“
“Look out, boss!” Floyd yelled, pointing as Ace had started to crouch. “He wants to munch your ankles!”
Ace shot back up, alarmed. “No, I—“
“Only we’re allowed to do that!” Floyd continued, with a slight pout.
Azul tiredly rubbed at his forehead. Just when he thought he was used to Floyd’s eccentrics, he still managed to throw him off his rhythm once again. “…What?”
“WHAT?” Deuce, Grim, Yuu had about the same reaction, albeit much louder.
Three heads jerked in a nearly robotic motion as their position was immediately given away.
Deuce cursed under his breath and placed a firm hand on Yuu’s back. “Make a run for it. Now.”
Yuu sputtered, rooted to the spot. “But Ace—“
Deuce pushed them out from behind the column and ushered them forwards. “I’ll make a very nice speech at his funeral!”
Ace nearly jumped out of his skin as the tweels focused their steely gaze on him. “Yipes! Uh, 20 Thaumarks! You want it, go get it!” He threw the wad of cash over Jade’s right shoulder, then booked it in the opposite direction.
Floyd and Jade looked at each other. Jade shrugged. “Well, I do enjoy a good chase. Fufu~”
They sported matching, terrifying grins as they gave chase.
Azul glanced in the direction everyone had run, then at the abandoned pile of cash. He shrugged to himself and leaned over to retrieve it. “Money is money,” he hummed as he pocketed it.
"..."
Jack stared at his lunchmates across the table, thoroughly unimpressed. “…Why am I friends with all of you, again?”
Ace reached over to give him a friendly punch in the arm. “Come on, don’t tell me a tale of heroics doesn’t get the blood pumping!” He crumpled over his fist in pain. “Oww! Are you storing rocks in your sleeves or what?”
Yuu rolled their eyes and did their best to ignore the fact that Ace was now dramatically draped across their lap. “In our defense, we had no time to come up with a plan since Mr. Leeroy Jenkins decided to act first and think later.”
“I can walk and chew gum at the same time!” Ace protested, crossing his arms. “Wait, who’s Leeroy—“
“Hi guys, sorry I’m late.” Epel scurried over clutching his lunch tray. “Someone decided it was worth holding up the entire line to haggle over an extra pudding cup for seven minutes.”
Grim huffed. “Don’t worry, the only thing you missed was losing braincells.”
Ace frowned at that. "You're one to talk, you glorified hairball." He gave Grim's ear a tug as he sat back up.
Epel grinned as he took a seat. “Fun for the whole family.”
“Indeed,” Jack noted wryly.
“So what’s shakin’—“ Epel leaned forward and cleared his throat. “I mean, what’s the word?”
Deuce looked in both directions before leaning in and whispering, “Does Azul have leg bones?”
Epel drew back. “I mean, probably?”
Grim put his front paws on the table. “Can you prove it?”
Epel stared at him. “Yes,” he said sarcastically. “I’ve devoted my entire life to such a task as this.”
Ace snapped his fingers. “Ok, sassmaster.”
Deuce rubbed at his eyes. “I can’t sleep…” He groaned. “Three days and I’m still no closer to getting answers.”
Jack took a large bite of his hamburger. “Why don’t you just ask him? And not in the stupid roundabout way Trappola over here tried and epically failed at. It's not that difficult.”
Epel cocked his head. Deuce rested his chin in his hands. Ace reached over to pat Jack’s shoulder. “Oh, poor, sweet, naive Jack…”
Jack squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “And you all wonder why you always end up in scrapes day in and day out,” he muttered to himself.
“Oh!” Yuu slammed a palm down on the table. “We have P.E. with him next period! Azul hates P.E.! We can corner him then!”
Jack raised his eyebrows at their excitement. “I see no chance of this backfiring.”
Ace grinned and jumped up to slap Jack’s back. “Glad we agree, bud!” He doubled over in pain once again. “OWW!’
Deuce rose from his seat as well and moved to slap the back of Ace’s head. “Stop being so dramatic!”
Ace swatted Deuce away. “Domestic abuse!”
Jack stared into nothingness as Deuce and Ace stood, one on either side of him, slapping at each others’ hands right above the tips of his ears.
Yuu ignored the scene, choosing to focus on cracking the mystery that had been plaguing the four of them since Friday. Well, three and a half, since Grim seemed ambivalent about the whole thing.
“It’s time to put my experience with those stupid hobby horse races with my little cousins to good use.” They rubbed their hands together in anticipation as they walked across the green, nearly running another student over in the process.
“HUMAN! I know your eyesight is below average as you are not fae, but you could at least try to watch where you’re going—“
“Does Azul have leg bones,” Yuu replied.
Sebek stared at them blankly before finally producing a noise that has no written equivalent.
“Azul,” Yuu repeated. “Does he have leg bones?”
“I don’t know that!" Sebek sputtered, looking offended Yuu would even ask him that question in the first place. "Why would you even ask such a—“
“That’s a good question, actually,” Malleus, who was eavesdropping, interrupted. “Does he have leg bones?”
Sebek immediately changed his tune, snapping to attention with a crisp salute. “I SHALL FIND OUT FOR YOU, WAKA-SAMA!” He turned on his heel and began marching straight for an unsuspecting Azul, who was fighting with his broom. The broom appeared to be winning.
“FROSH FIGHTERS! GO! WE’RE STARTING EARLY!” Yuu shouted at the top of their lungs to their partners in crime.
"That's us!" Deuce exclaimed needlessly.
Ace snorted but didn't comment further.
Azul thought he was having a fever dream at first as a group of first years slowly descended on him. Couldn’t they see he was trying to concentrate?!
“Looks like someone isn’t so high and mighty without his terrifying twins to protect him,” Epel crooned as he circled around Azul’s broom.
Ace yanked him back by the shoulder. “Dude, tone it down a little. A lot.”
“Sorry,” Epel whispered, hands folded behind his back. “I got excited.”
Azul did his best to ignore the group of idiots as sweat beads formed on his forehead. Flying class was humiliating enough as is without a bunch of freshmen watching and… what were they doing, anyway?
Deuce raised his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Mr. Ashengrotto, sir, this is a personal and potentially invasive question—“
“Can it wait?” Azul asked irritably as he hopped, first on one foot, then the other.
Deuce made a small strangled sound. “Not really, no. Uh, like I was saying… how do I put this delicately…”
“Also, can I have my 20 Thaumarks back?” Ace interrupted.
Epel facepalmed.
Azul stopped his pitiful attempts at taking flight to give Ace a deceptively artless smile. “I don’t know, can you?” Azul's smile widened at his own joke. Sometimes he impressed even himself with the depths of his own wit.
“You!” Sebek barked as he marched towards him, having kept a steady pace the entire time. “Do you have real, live, human legs?! Yes or no?!”
Azul whipped his head in the direction of the sudden shouter, baffled beyond words. “I—“ To buy, or...?
Jack jogged up to the group, ears flicking in irritation. “Fine, let’s get this over with. Azul, I’m sorry to bother you like this, but w—”
“LEG BOOONNNEEESSSS!” Yuu let out a guttural scream as they dove for Azul’s lower half. Azul quickly sidestepped them, and they ended up crashing into Epel instead. “DANGIT!”
Azul let out a sensible chuckle at the scene before noticing the rest of the first years around him staring at him with equal determination.
“Oh, for the love of…” He breathed out before flinging his broom at the biggest threat (Jack), then booking it across the lawn faster than he’s ever run in his life. 
Coach Vargas felt a swell of pride in his chest. “YES, ASHENGROTTO! GO GO GO! LIFT THOSE KNEES! YOU ARE THE WIND!”
Ace and Deuce quickly scrambled over Epel and Yuu as they snapped out of their shock at actually seeing Azul run.
“I NEED TO KNOOOWWW!” Deuce wailed helplessly.
Azul glanced over his shoulder and immediately regretted it as he was met with the sight of Ace’s crazy eyes.
“SHOW US YOUR BONES, AZUL!” Ace screamed.
Epel waved his arms in the air as he ran. “CIRCLE! CIRCLE AROUND! CUT HIM OFF!”
“YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!” Sebek shouted back.
“FINE, THEN YOU COME UP WITH A PLAN THEN! Friggin’ son of a bee sting,” Epel spat to himself.
Azul wondered what he had done to offend the Great 7 for his day to pan out this horridly, heart pounding out of his chest.
Jack didn't bother running alongside the group. He sat down under a tree and decided to wait until the rest of them were thoroughly tired out. Sure, he could outlast them all easily, but he wasn’t going to contribute to the collective stupidity any more than he had to.
Yuu slowed to a stop and bent over with their hands on their knees, gasping for air. They threw themselves down on the ground next to Jack. “How did we even end up here?” They moaned pitifully, one hand on their head.
Jack shook his head and leaned back against the trunk of the tree. “I’m asking myself the same thing.”
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traumxrei-archive · 2 years
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Howdy, it's canon and i have to share it with someone!
✨Just✨
Yuu and Ramshackle
JKSFKSDFJKF ANON NOOOOO
NOT YUU USING A WHOLE ASS CHAIR AS A HAMMER- CROWLEY *BANGS ON HIS OFFICE DOOR* GIVE OUR POOR BABY A HAMMERRRR TT^TT
i wholeheartedly believe that it's ace filming from where he's watching them on the couch with grim n deuce, and you bet ur ass he's abt to send it to cater too-
the video goes INSTANTLY VIRAL and yuu keeps hearing whispers of "chair hammer" and "poor them" for a while whenever they passed by
a few days later, yuu opens their front door to find like. 7 boxes of tools on their doorstep, one in each dorm's color, and they're like ???
meanwhile the dorm leaders all hiding in the bushes (+ idia's tablet): which one are they gonna pick ? :000
yuu: *picks them all up, takes pictures, and sells them on magicam for a few more madols*
dorm leaders: .... they're a dumbass. but they're our dumbass.
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honeyuuyuu · 2 years
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ass trappola
(wallpaper by @/ashdownbeloved)
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puff00n · 2 years
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Magicshift training gone wrong
Leona: I was going easy on you!
Yuu/MC: Boy, pull up your god damn pants! I can see Pinnochio and he is telling the truth.
Leona:
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metiredlr · 2 years
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Someone: Karma is a bitch
Kanda:
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Yuu can do it!
Part 13
(Link to previous)
Ito liked having problems to solve. If there was something to do, then it gave them something to concentrate on. That way they didn’t have to think about how they were stranded in another world with no known way home, or how they had just technically murdered something, or –.
They forced themself to look around.
Deuce had been sent to try and get cell service – there was no way there was any this far into the woods, let alone underground, but he was concussed and had been insisting on helping so they figured that was the best option.
Kuroki had been near hyperventilating (not good considering they were already working with limited air) so Ito had dropped Grim onto him. He had only recently managed to bring his breathing down to a normal rate, and was now burying his face in the white fur of Grim’s collar while the monster squirmed.
Which left Enma, Ace, and Ito to try and find a way out.
Not that Ace was all that much help. After a few blasts of wind magic he had said that he was too tired to do more and now doing the stone-throwing equivalent of crawling up that fifteenth flight of stairs.
Which meant…
Enma and Ito threw rock after rock over their shoulders. They just needed a tiny hole to let in some oxygen. That was all. They could do this…
~
Ito was no nihilist, but they were pretty sure they were going to join the other ghosts in the mine.
At least the ghosts had been friendly, they supposed.
A tiny sigh left their lips and they rubbed their hands off on their shirt. Kuroki had long-since managed to snap out of it enough to help, and Ace had joined them after a few minutes’ rest.
(Deuce was still concussed and Grim was… Grim, so they weren’t much help. To his credit, though, Grim tried: he screamed at the top of his lungs – did he have lungs? – but Ito, privately, doubted that any sound escaped.)
The group had been working at one spot for ages… but every time they finally managed to make headway more rocks and boulders came to fill in the place left by their brethren. And they were getting tired, the air was thin, and, one by one, they all gave up in favor of finding a comfortable position to die in.
Enma was the last one to give up. He groaned and leaned back against the wall of rocks that kept them separated from the outside world.
“At least suffocating like this isn’t really painful,” he said after a moment. “We’ll probably just die in our sleep or something.”
“... dude, that’s so dark,” Ace complained, tossing a magestone from hand to hand idly.
Enma gave a weak grin. “No, this cave is dark.”
“Do you really want your last words to be a bad joke?” Kuroki said, absently stroking Grim’s fur.
Ito lifted their head from their knees, careful not to disturb Kuroki because he was leaning back against their side, to glare halfheartedly at them. “Do you really want your last conversation to be a fight?”
“Yes,” Kuroki and Enma said at the exact same time.
“What else are we supposed to do?” Ace said.
“Well, in books this is where we all give heartfelt speeches and then get miraculously saved at the last moment.”
“Ew,” said Grim.
Kuroki’s nose scrunched. “I’d rather die.”
Enma opened his mouth.
Ace threw the magestone in his hand at Enma before he could do it. The boy was quick to dodge, and the magestone clattered against the rocks.
And then the cave began to rumble, boulders and rocks and pebbles alike falling away.
Ace looked at his hands in awe. “I’m so powerful…?”
He was not. The way out cleared and they were met by three people and two ghosts.
The redhead from the ceremony stood at the front of the group, a heart-topped staff still pointed at them. He lowered it slowly and looked upon them all with slight distaste lining his expression.
“Honestly, how did that wall trouble you all so?”
Deuce’s eyes took a moment to focus but, when they did, his back straightened and he smiled from ear to ear. “Dorm head! You’ve come to save us! Thank you!”
“Rescue, you say… I have no reason to support transgressors.” His gaze swept over Deuce’s rapidly paling face and Ace’s scowl critically. “You have violated rule 304: On the day a hedgehog sneezes, all card soldiers must gather and perform a song!”
“If the hedgehog is sick do you think they have to do multiple songs a day?” Grim questioned, clearly just to start shit.
Enma seemed to also want to start shit, because he scratched his head with a small smile. “Their offense is that they were stuck here on an order from the Headmaster and not the ruined statue or chandelier?”
Riddle seemed uninterested in their idle chatter. He pointed the staff at Ace and Deuce.
(Ace looked about five seconds away from ducking behind their concussed companion for cover.)
“OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!”
Collars like those from the ceremony snapped over the pair’s necks and Deuce seemed a little thrown off by the weight.
Riddle turned away from them, to the two people who were standing silently beside him. “Trey, Cater. Take them to the dorm.”
“Yes, Dorm Leader,” they chorused.
The Ramshackle residents watched on without moving an inch as two of their companions were grabbed by the back of their collars like misbehaving housecats and dragged out, complaining and squirming all the way.
“Huh,” said Kuroki. “Wild.”
That was all the thoughts he seemed to have on the matter. He started gathering his scattered things and then struggled to pick up Grim.
Enma and Ito, however, frowned at Riddle.
“Wait, what’re you going to do with them?” Asked Enma. It wasn’t clear whether he was concerned or just curious.
Ito wasn’t afraid to be outwardly concerned, though: “Are they going to be okay?”
Riddle looked between the two of them. “It has nothing to do with you, this is Heartslabyul business.”
Not suspicious at all, thought Ito, a little perturbed.
And then his expression softened just slightly. “If they follow the rules, then they will be fine.”
Ito’s shoulders relaxed.
Enma smiled. “Thanks for saving us… even if it was just to punish them properly, I appreciate it.”
Riddle chanced a small smile back and they shared short goodbyes before he turned to follow his dorm members.
Ito turned to Enma with a mock pout playing at their lips the moment they were sure Riddle was out of earshot. “Why aren’t you that nice to us?”
“‘Cause I like him more than you,” Enma said without hesitation.
“You barely even know him! He punched you when you met!” Grim hissed.
“Exactly. Maybe you should think about that more.”
“Maybe you should –!” (The rating on this fic does not allow for Kuroki’s retort.)
Ito took a seat on a nearby boulder, watching the dormmates bicker. They rolled their eyes and rested their head on their hand, giving a tiny huff in their exasperation.
But they still wore a tiny smile nonetheless.
~
Enma had insisted that they all stuff their pockets with magestones (Kuroki had agreed because they might be able to sell them and Ito had just not had enough energy to argue), so they were now walking around, gathering as many as they could while he struggled to find a way to comfortably carry the large one the Headmaster had asked for all on his own.
The two were careful to avoid the body as they picked their way around. Ito didn’t want to look at it, and Kuroki seemed to think that it might come back to life and seek revenge based on the way he kept looking over his shoulder at every little sound, so: wide berth.
Grim wasn’t as concerned. He was actively rooting through the dead monster’s pockets.
“Grim, please stop grave robbing,” Ito tried.
“It’s not grave robbing… it’s archaeology,” Grim retorted.
“Both of you are wrong,” said Kuroki. “It’s looting a corpse.”
Grim paid him no mind. “Besides, something smells really good.”
“Please don’t cannibalize the corpse please don’t cannibalize the corpse please don’t…” Ito chanted under their breath.
The tiny monster produced a small, black stone not unlike the ones they were currently collecting. “Aha!”
But, instead of stuffing his pockets like the humans were doing, Grim stuffed his face.
Enma frowned. “Don’t eat rocks.”
Grim didn’t listen. His eyes went wide as he swallowed the last of the rock. “Oh…”
Kuroki yelped and jumped to his feet, the magestones that had been in his hands twinkling across to the floor as he ran over to the monster. “Grim! Grim! Spit it out!”
But Grim’s eyes lit up. “That was… amazing!”
Kuroki skidded to a stop.
“... sorry?” Said Enma.
“It’s full-bodied, but also rich with an aromatic sweetness that just melts in the mouth!”
The three Yuus looked at each other to confirm that, yes, the monster had said that the rock tasted good.
And then Ito remembered Grim had been eating grass earlier and decided that, maybe, they shouldn’t listen to him.
Ito’s nose scrunched. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Huh. Guess monsters are omnivores,” said Enma after another moment of thought.
“That should not be all you guys have to say about this!” Snapped Kuroki.
~
The pair of ghosts accompanied them out of the mines. Almost definitely because the four of them couldn’t thank them enough for leading the group of seniors to them. Who doesn’t like praise?
Kuroki breathed a sigh of relief when the outside world finally came into view. And only partially because Grim jumped off of him and zoomed out, leaving him with a literal burden off his shoulders.
“And this is where we leave you,” the ghost with the pickaxe in his head said.
Enma frowned. “Do you have to? You can come with us. Our dorm already has ghosts. What’s two more?”
Ito watched them cast a sad glance back down the mine, and then the two ghosts shared looks.
“We’ve been here so long…” started the other ghost carefully. It tried to scratch its head, only to be stopped by the miner's hat that seemed glued there.
“Then a change of pace might be nice,” Enma said.
Ito yawned into their hand. “Unless there’s another monster in the mine you need to protect people from…”
“In which case we don’t want to know,” Kuroki said hastily.
“But you’ve spent… a long time here warding people away.” Enma smiled. “Don’t you think it’s time you actually enjoy your afterlife?”
The two ghosts mulled it over.
The one with the pickaxe in its head glanced back one more time before nodding. “That… I could do that.”
“No takebacksies, though,” the other said, ruffling Enma’s already messy hair.
They made their way out of the mine – nobody said anything when the ghosts stopped to bow their heads and stand there in silence for a moment, nor when the ghosts knocked down two trees to block the entrance and seal the tomb so the dead could finally rest – and started back the way they came.
~
“You actually went to the Dwarf’s Mine?” Was the first thing Crowley said to them upon first seeing them.
Enma held up the magestone as a slightly nicer way of saying ‘duh’.
The Headmaster gasped and jumped back a step, then clapped his hands to his cheeks and gave his best approximation of a horrified look. “My word… I never really thought you’d go… and you have come back with a magestone… I feel a little sorry for filling out the expulsion papers in your absence, now…”
“You what?!” Ito said.
Grim floated up so he could properly scold the man that was over 100 centimeters taller than him. “We defeated a huge beast for this and you were already preparing to throw us out?!”
Crowley’s exaggerated fluttering stopped cold. He stared at them in silence, the yellow balls of light that made up his eyes taking in everything about them – from the clothes that were ruined when the cave collapsed to the hands that were scraped and rubbed raw from their attempts at getting out. They must have been quite the sight.
“Could you explain in more detail while we make our way over to the hospital wing?”
And, so, they each gave their specific retelling of the events of the night. Kuroki’s was ridiculously short, Ito overdramatized everything purely for the sake of their own entertainment, Grim took all the credit, and Enma slipped puns into an otherwise perfectly acceptable explanation.
The Headmaster mulled over their stories while they took a healing potion the Headmaster had whipped up in seconds.
Ito grimaced at the affront to cooking that slipped down their throat and they had to pinch their nose to get it down. Enma groaned quietly and had to take his own in little sips. Kuroki didn’t seem all that affected, but the slight cough he gave upon first taste suggested he had just decided complaining wasn’t worth it.
Besides, Grim made up for Kuroki’s lack of complaints by yelling his own for the whole world to hear.
(Ito snuck a couple of extra doses into their pockets to give to Ace and Deuce later while the Headmaster was distracted trying to make the monster quiet. It wasn’t like the strange, pink liquid was all that out of place among the many glowing magestones that they had collected.)
And then they sighed and pushed Kuroki forward. Something they could do with ease now, because the pain and exhaustion lingering in every centimeter of their body had dissolved into a faint buzzing between blinks.
Kuroki sent them a betrayed look.
“Grim is yours, you deal with him.”
Kuroki glared at them for a moment longer, but then he reached forward and covered Grim’s mouth with his hand. “Shh. Do you want to stay here or not?”
Grim scoffed, but fell silent.
Kuroki let his hand drop.
Crowley looked at the group of them all. “So… if I’m getting this right… it seems that all six of you banded together to defeat the monster.”
“Were you not listening to me?” Grim said, baring a sharp fang.
Kuroki slapped his hand over the monster’s mouth once again.
“Yes, sir,” said Enma, pretending that that entire interaction hadn’t happened. “So…please don’t expel us.”
The Headmaster burst into sobs, burying his face in his hands.
Enma took a quick step backwards, horrified. “Gross.”
“Why is this grown adult crying?” Kuroki hissed, looking very much like he was considering leaving.
Ito cuffed them both over the back of the head before carefully walking over to the older man and giving him a few awkward pats on the back. They tried not to cringe when the Headmaster seemed to sob even harder and slowly retracted their hand, only for the man to catch their hand in both of his.
Now that his eyes were uncovered, Ito noted that there were no tears on his face. In fact, he looked less sad and more silently calculating. They wondered, idly, if they had made a mistake in not letting themself get expelled.
The man removed a hand to wipe away imaginary tears. Ito wasn’t stupid enough to try and pull away quite yet.
“In the many years I’ve been Headmaster, not once has this happened.”
“Not once has what happened?”
“I never thought I would see anyone from Night Raven College that was willing to stand, hand in hand, even if it meant defeating a common enemy!”
“I don’t hold hands,” said Kuroki.
“Patently untrue,” Enma snarked.
Ito sent a glare at them over their shoulder.
The distraction gave the Headmaster an opening to drag them over to Kuroki and Enma so he could wrap them all in a ‘hug’... in quotation marks because the large, feathered cape the man wore engulfed them all in a way that felt very much like a trap ensnaring them.
“This confirms it without a doubt! You three are beast tamers!”
“... right, you said that earlier. But you said that doesn’t change anything, remember?” Kuroki said in a tone that bordered on hopeful as both him and Grim tried to squirm away.
“I have changed my mind!”
The silent fuck that ran through all of their minds was palpable.
The man chuckled and squeezed their shoulders tighter.
“It seems that Night Raven College will be gaining some new students.”
~~~
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