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#dude is pretty even while falling down
bangguks · 2 years
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a Seokjin classic: OSAKAAAAA
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osachiyo · 2 months
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✧˚ 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐗 — dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, atsushi & tetchou .ೃ࿐
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˚➶ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — female reader, n/sfw content (mdni), fluff + crack some of y'all will get second hand embarrassment, prolly the only thing i'll write about period sex, breaking the bed, spicy cunnilingus, accidental anal, reader hits her head in one of these but dw it's fine, overall just some silly stuff ! wc for each character is like 300-400 words long :) not proofread !
˚➶ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 — i've been putting this off for too long 💀 anyways, happy reading and enjoy ! also is it tetchou or tecchou idfk how to spell this dude's name 😭
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"Nghh - fuuck— you're s'good at this, angel—" Dazai moaned, encouraging you to bounce on him faster. He had you in reverse cowgirl— watching your ass bounce on his pelvis as you jumped up and down on his cock, desperately trying to chase that release you've been working for.
"Feels— feels so g-good!" You cried out, pretty nails digging into his thigh, making him let out a pornographic moan - which made you clench on him even more.
Dazai groaned, grabbing handfuls of your ass and spreading them apart to see the mouthwatering view of your cunt greedily swallowing his cock. That's when he saw little streaks of blood coating his cock - mixed with your slick and his precum... and he realized that you must be starting your period.
If Dazai was being completely honest - he didn't really care about the blood, and no way he was stopping right now— when you're riding him so deliciously and looking so fucking sexy while doing it - he'd be insane (like he isn't already) if he were to stop you now. Plus, he didn't want you to get embarrassed— no, that's the last thing he wanted.
He definitely told you after sex, though. He was like, "oh yeah, you're on your period, by the way." It kind of shocked you how casual he was about it - which he noticed, of course. He'd laugh at your bewildered face, chuckling as you ask him if he's not grossed out. He'd wave you off, "sweetheart, do you think i'm a boy? Trust me, a little bit of blood doesn't bother me."
You were about to reply when a cramp hit you straight in the guts - making you hiss out and curl into yourself in pain. Dazai frowned, quickly sitting next to you to brush your hair out of your face - "you alright, sweet girl?" You groaned in response, "mm - yeah, j-just these damn period cramps are killing me."
Dazai pretended to think for a bit, even rubbing his finger on his chin to add the extra effect, making you roll your eyes at his silly antics. he looked deep in thought for a moment until you heard him snapping his finger, pointing at you with a wink - "aha! I know exaaactly how to get rid of your cramps." Your eyebrows pinched together at his words, knowing it's gonna be something dumb.
"Let's go for another roun— oumph!" You threw a pillow at him, resulting him falling backwards on his butt. "I knew you were gonna say that!" You groaned, kicking your legs - snickering at the way he rubs his bottom. "Gosh, you are just the meanest, aren't you?" He whined - making you giggle, "oh? well, that would make you the horniest!"
"Hey! I was serious - it really works— oumph!"
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You were currently face-down, ass-up on Chuuya's lavish bed— as he pushed your face further into the pillow, cunt greedily sucking his fat cock in. He didn't even bother with taking off your clothes— just ripping them and grumbling about buying you new ones when you went to protest.
"Argh— shhiiiit- takin' m-me s'well, babydoll," growling, he pulled you up by your hair - back against his chest and fuck, you could feel him in the deepest part of you - hammering inside of your puffy pussy while reaching a free hand to play with that tiny clit. "Chuuya— C-chuuya!" You squealed, face landing on the pillow with an "oof!" as he pushed you back against it. "S-shut it, fu—ck! 'yer so tight," he almost whimpered, hand untangling itself from your hair to pinch and tweak at your nipples - before landing a mean smack on your ass.
He was speeding up - almost at an inhuman pace, as the headboard continuously slammed against the wall. But the both of you failed to notice the cracking noise - too lost in the pleasure, before the bed came crashing down.
'fuck, you're doin' so good ba— whAT THE FUCK—?!" Chuuya screeched as you both fell on the floor along with the broken bed. "Shit - are you okay, baby?" He quickly checked you for any injuries— only to see that you were still dazed, your mouth agape and eyes glossed over— too cockdrunk to even process that the bed broke.
“Argh— fuck it,” he thought, just going back to pounding your cunt as if it didn’t just break down. Making his pretty girl gush all over him was way more important— and plus, he could easily buy another bed.
You scolded him after getting your back blown out. But he couldn’t care less, if he was being completely honest.
In reality, it actually turned him on even more— his new goal from now on is breaking the bed everytime while fucking - from the sheer force of it. So um.. goodluck walking..?
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You were cuddled up on the couch with your boyfriend of 6 months, watching a cute movie when you suddenly felt something stiff poking against your ass— how cute, you thought - biting your lip as you ground back against him, earning a sharp gasp from Atsushi.
Things escalated from that to you being on top of him— fervently making out, shy fingers digging into the plush of your hips as you continued grinding on his dick— moaning into each other's mouths.
Eventually you ended up on your back, with Atsushi rutting into you fast and hard as you threw your head back. He was inexperienced— but you had to say, what he lacked in technique, he made up for in enthusiasm. His face was buried in your neck, letting out puffs of hot air as he suppressed the urge to bite down on your shoulder and mark you up— he didn't want to hurt or scare you off.
"Oh— god, 'sushi that feels so—" you moaned, lips parting as you silently begged for a kiss - to which he gladly complied. "Fuck— yes, s'good—!" Atsushi moaned, eyes rolling back slightly as you clamped down on him further, you were close and so was he.
But somehow, he managed to slip out of your tight cunt— making him whine and quickly try to push it back in, desperate to feel your warm walls around him again. He slipped in with some issues— it felt like you had gotten tighter but he didn't mind. Holy shit though, it felt so much warmer and tighter no— "OW OW—! ATSUSHI!"
He immediately jumped upon hearing your pained shriek, "what's wro—" "Pull out - right now!" You sneered, glaring at him as he complied. "That was the wrong hole— you idiot!" You scolded, but your gaze got softer when you saw him sulking - he didn't mean to hurt you!
"I- I'm so sorry— it just accidentally slipped out a-and then I tried to push it back in and—" he was speaking really fast, trying his best to explain himself before you put your hand up, palm against his chest.
"I get it— sorry for yelling at you," you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck as you climbed onto his lap. He nodded, still sulking because he felt so guilty— god, he just can't do anything righ—
"Don't beat yourself up for it, okay? It wasn't your fault," you spoke as if you could read his mind, making him relax his tensed shoulders as he nodded.
..You two just decided to continue the movie and cuddle the night away.
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Akutagawa had you backed up against some large shelves inside a storage room, while you two were on a mission. He'd normally prefer to have you somewhere else— somewhere more private and comfortable but you just had to be a damn tease the whole fucking day, and now he's finally got his hands on you.
"So— fucking— desperate—" each word that fell from his chapped lips were accompanied by a mean thrust, the tip of his cock brushing against that one spot inside of your walls. He had you completely trapped against the large set of shelves with rashōmon— leaving you with no ways to escape him. "Haah— d-did a little bending g-get you this worked u-up?" You added fuel to the fire— making his right eye twitch in annoyance, what a lousy mouth you had.
He said nothing, though— only speeding his pace up, as heavy breaths and pants left him— an unusual flush spread across his cheeks. "You really— shit!— d-don't know when to shut the fuck up," he growled, as a pale hand found your tits— slapping the jiggling fat before landing a harsh slap to each.
Your back arched with each pound of his hips into your gooey cunt— both of you feeling lightheaded from the pleasure circulating through your veins. So lightheaded in fact, you both somehow failed to notice the heavy book on top one of the shelves inching closer and closer towards the very edge— a small impact against the wood would most likely make it fall.
"oh— AkuOWW—!" And fall it did— right on top of your head before it bounced off and fell on the floor. You yelled in pain, the dull pain making you head throb. Akutagawa just...paused— eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. He didn't know what to say— should he ask if you're okay? He's never been good at this stuff — so he just.. kinda... stood there and stared.
Made sure you're alright after he was over the initial shock, though — telling you that you should've seen it coming, earning him a few curses from you.
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Tetchou had you spread on the couch, strong hands holding your thighs against your chest, giving him a perfect view of the soaked cunt he was about to devour.
"You look so pretty between my legs," you cooed, running your fingers through his burgundy locks. "Yeah? Well, I wish you could see my view, gorgeous girl," he spoke while nibbling the insides of your thighs— placing sloppy, open mouthed kisses wherever his lips could reach. His face was lightly flushed pink — your praises always made him hot and bothered, it encouraged him to do even better — make you feel even better.
A small moan caught in your throat when your boyfriend slowly peeled away the slick-soaked panties from your juicy cunt, pulling them down your legs before flinging them off somewhere. The cold night air hitting your bare sex made you try to clench your thighs back together — but to no avail, as Tetchou kept them apart firmly. He felt himself salivating at the sight of your exposed cunt — wanting to dive right in.
And dive right in he did, licking a fat stripe up your cunt, collecting your juices on his tongue before smearing them all over your clit, feeling your thighs shake and tummy clench at the stimulation. "Don't hold them back f'me," he let out a muffled grunt. "Your moans — don't hold 'em back," he clarified, before shamelessly shaking his head back and forth on your cunt — causing you to arch your back as your fingers tightened their grip on his hair.
"A-ah, Tetchou—" you threw your head back with a whine, trying to lift your hips up to grind into his mouth, to which he responded to by pushing you even further into the couch, "don't move," he panted, basically growling into your pussy. He couldn't help but hump into the couch — way too turned on by your pleasure.
It was all going great — amazing even, until you felt a light burn on your cunt, confusion lacing all your features. It didn't take long for the burning sensation to build up — the pleasure slowly disappearing, as discomfort kicked in.
"W-wait — Tetchou," you panted, trying to pull his head away from your aching (literally) cunt. Tetchou only growled in response, latching onto your pussy harder — you knew better than to interrupt him during a meal.
But it fucking burned! So you just yelled out, "it burns!" And felt him immediately pause — slowly lifting his head from the spot between your thighs and looking utterly confused, "what?"
"I — I don't know, but my pussy fucking burns," you snapped, worry laced all over your features.
Then suddenly, a look of realization mixed with mortification fills your boyfriend's face. You cocked an eyebrow at him, "what is it?"
"... I forgot I ate those... spicy noodles and... some of the sauce was probably still on my lips...."
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©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated♡
tags ・ @hopefulpain @inkmooon @constant-existential-terror @nda-approval @mellieellie @seiiushi @lynxxyyy @kentopedia
@sorasushik1 @himebwrries @nopethenope @neviex @fyodorisbbg @stygianoir @saharei @x-lunawrites-x @munnaitorei @emyyy007 @dearhoney-31 @the-foreigner @angoisfine @osaemu @honeycombflowers-blog @yuiiasathesilly @kaithegremlin @sukiischaotic @squigglewigglewoo @cupidszvlvr @ashthemadwriter-archived @bloobewy @mrs-bakugou @hauntedsol @ask-me-or-not @hanakotateyama @kissesmellow21 @dazaichuuya69 @xxsilverjackalxx @gettinshiggywithit @deaths-presence @sugaredpersimmon @rjssierjrie @iheartpieck @angelof-darkness @dazaisimpletmereadfanficspls @hellokitty-4-lele @scinclaitnoir @aly-insanity @kemis-world @bisexuawolfsalt @thateldribitch
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hazyhae · 3 months
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roomie high | lmk
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stoner!roommate!mark -> roommates to ???
summary: looking for a weed-friendly roommate lands you in a living situation with mark lee. you find it harder and harder to mask your attraction to the man, and soon find that weed isn't the only thing you'll be getting high on.
wc: 3.8k 18+ mdni
cw: afab!gn!reader, weed/marijuana use, sex under the influence of weed, unprotected penetrative sex but he pulls out, oral (reader receiving), baby as petname, mark calls reader dude, reader calls mark markie, instigator friend haechan, masturbation, slight voyeurism (mark catches reader mb), multiple orgasms
⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆
when you asked around if any of your friends knew anyone looking for a weed-friendly roommate, you didn’t expect to end up living with mark lee of all people.
you and mark weren’t friends per se, but you weren’t exactly strangers either. you had mutual friends and the two of you always exchanged a wave whenever in the same area, but you’ve never actually talked. you knew his name because of your friends, and you assumed it was the same for him.
what sets you apart is the fact that you’ve been attracted to him since the first time you saw him light up a joint at one of your mutual friend’s hangouts.
you remember the way his eyes never left the person he was talking to as he inhaled, taking a second to let it settle before turning his head to blow it off to the side.
the vision of him engulfed in a hazy cloud of smoke has not since left your mind, wishing you were the person reflected in his glossy eyes.
when you had to find another apartment after your lease ended due to their newly-implemented no-smoking policy, your only criteria for a new roommate was a) not being a murderer and b) weed-friendly.
you had asked your friends at another one of the hangouts, and your loud-mouthed friend haechan knew just the perfect person to ask.
you cringe, remembering how he called mark over with a loud voice. you were face to face with the person you had been admiring for a while, as a potential roommate no less, and haechan’s loud mouth blabbered on about your situation until you made him shut up.
mark lived in a two bedroom apartment, and his old roommate moved in with their partner, so he needed someone to fill the empty room. he was honestly perfect for your situation.
“i mean, i’m cool with it, if you are..?” mark asked, beady eyes staring into yours. you felt like you were dreaming.
“..yeah, we can talk about it after today,” you had responded, chiding yourself for the awkward pause. you needed to find a new place to live fast, and as far as you knew, mark lee was no murderer.
and so you sealed your fate to live with the object of your affections.
if you thought mark was attractive before living together, it’s even harder now to hide your attraction now that you’ve gotten to know him better.
4 months of living together has given you plenty of time to bond, and at some point you do find yourself becoming more comfortable with mark. you find your work schedules align pretty well, so you often end your nights with a meal and a smoke session.
you think back on the first time you smoked together.
“hey dude, uh.. house-warming smoke?” he had asked shyly with his cute lopsided grin after you had finished moving in the last of your things. his eyes were darting around, holding a shoebox you assume held his weed supplies.
never being one to turn down a smoke, you accepted, and it took everything in you not to stare. the way he rolled the joint so quickly with a concentrated face had you questioning your self control. how can someone be so endearing?
weed always does the job of breaking the ice, and after passing back the joint back and forth, you found yourself in comfortable conversation with your new roommate. thus settled your new routine.
as much as you told yourself afterwards to keep it cool, it’s kind of hard now that you see that same sight that made you fall for the man in the first place almost every night in your living room. and now you are the person in his sights.
it’s so easy for you and mark get lost in your high thoughts, and the conversations often go until the late hours of the night. a lot of those nights, the two of you will knock out cold on the couch.
while you think your platonic connection could help you to calm your feelings down, these times you bond with him only lead to the opposite.
everything about mark when he’s high gets you riled up.
his glazed over, hooded eyes, the deep breaths he takes as he lets his high settle, the deep groans that leave him when when he stretches after being sunk into the couch for too long.
it all goes straight to between your legs.
you’re ashamed to admit it, but a lot of the times after mark’s knocked out for the night, you can’t help but stumble into your bed, shoving your hand between your thighs to relieve the ache that is a direct result of mark lee.
it all feels so different when you’re high. your senses are heightened, feeling the pads of your own lubricated fingers running up your slit thinking of the man who made you this wet, wishing it were his fingers instead.
you find that you always cum a little harder when it’s mark on your mind, and after some point, you can cum only thinking about him.
⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆
after another night of smoking and relieving your sexual frustrations after he’s fallen asleep, you feel of twinge of guilt when you wake up to a groggy mark in the living room.
it’s difficult to act like everything’s normal when there’s nothing more you want than for him to stuff you full.
“if you’re making coffee can i also get a cup, please? i’m gonna be fighting for my life at work today..” he asks while still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. he’s just so cute, and you just feel even more ashamed at the not-so-innocent thoughts you constantly have about him.
you head to work for the day, and towards the end of your shift in comes the very friend that got you into this living arrangement.
“so have you fucked your roomie yet?” haechan teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
“hyuck, i’m going to need you to stop talking.” you glare at him.
“what?? i’m not the one making goo-goo eyes at mark fucking lee,” haechan snaps back too quickly.
“i swear if you say a fucking word to him, you’re dead.” you start to inch closer to him.
“i’m just trying to support you, my friend. i heard his dick is hu-”
you slap your hands over his mouth. “let’s stop it right there.”
haechan bursts into laughter at your anger, and you want to kick him out but this shift has already drained all your energy.
just as haechan is about to start teasing, you see a very familiar head of blonde hair making its way to you.
“mark?? what are you doing here?” you are surprised to see him at your work place. he’s only been here a couple of times and he always texted you before he would come.
haechan daps up mark, looking between the two of you with a grin.
“i got outta work a little early so i thought i’d come by and we can get take out for dinner on the way home?” as much as you see him at your apartment, something about him coming to get you from work just feels so intimate.
“take out sounds good with me!” haechan butts in a little too happily before you can say anything.
you and mark give him a look. it’s not the first time he’s invited himself over. he’s smiling at the two of you for a moment before laughing again.
“i’m just kidding guys, you should see the looks on your faces.” he turns on his heel to head back to his own apartment. “wouldn’t want to interrupt anything, see you later cuties!”
your friend is gone before either of you can say anything. mark looks confused, and your face burns at haechan’s insinuations that there’s anything going on that he’d be interrupting.
“wha- interrupting? interrupting what?” mark turns to you with a confused face.
even his confusion you find endearing, but you are quick to change the subject. “he’s just being stupid, what do you wanna get for dinner?”
mark nods, chuckling. “hmm i don’t know. what do you want?” he responds, mind trying to settle on a dinner spot.
you. i want you. your thoughts ring.
“let’s get some noodles from down the street, i’ve been craving them.” you push your desires to the back of your mind and get excited at the thought of the comfort food. mark smiles warmly at you.
“sure, it’s on me tonight!” he offers excitedly. your face gets warm.
“thank you, markie.”
“anything for you.” his voice is just a bit too tender for your heart to take.
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at home, the two of you light up before digging into your food, but something about mark today is a little different.
he’s always nice, but he’s going out of his way to be even nicer.
it’s a little too cold in your living room, and he goes to his room to put on a hoodie. to your surprise, he also brings one back for you. when he sees your confused face when he hands it to you, he starts sputtering.
“oh shit, uhh, wait my bad you totally could’ve just gotten one of yours.” you shake your head, feeling grateful and also wanting to seize the opportunity.
“no, i’ll take yours, too lazy to get up. thank you,” you beam at him.
settling into the couch, you’re having trouble lighting the joint, so he puts it in his own mouth, lighting it before holding it up to your lips so you can take a hit.
he doesn’t realize what he’s doing to you, or maybe he does, but you’re too caught up in the feeling of being wrapped in mark’s scent, cuddled into his hoodie as you slowly hotbox the apartment.
it’s a friday night, so you two can smoke as much as you want, having the weekend off. and smoke you do.
as the night progresses, the two of you have made your way through 3 joints, and mark holds his pipe in hand ready to light up a bit more.
you’re honestly both high as shit, and you both know it too. every little thing on the tv is the funniest thing you’ve ever seen, and your noodles are long gone.
you look at mark through hooded lids, admiring how he takes a long drag from his pipe, handing it to you before letting the smoke seep from his lips. you take a hit and set it down.
“i’m about to be glued to this couch for the next 24 hours,” mark drawls out. he readjusts himself on the couch, letting out a sound that’s a borderline moan, and it doesn’t escape your ears.
if only he knew that was the icing on the cake sending you back to your room to take care of the growing aching between your legs. mark slowly dozes off, softly snoring, and you know that’s your cue to escape to bed.
you wobble into your room, the high still fresh and raging as you lazily push your door to close and immediately settle into bed with your hand shoved into your pants.
mark’s smell is still very much so embedded into his hoodie, and it only serves to heighten your imagination.
your mind jumps to a vision of mark and you on the couch, with you bouncing on his cock as he lets out his delicious groans into your ear.
you think of his tender, “anything for you,” from earlier today, and how much of a gentleman he was. it just riles you up more as you insert your fingers into your entrance.
when mark falls asleep after smoking, he’s knocked out cold for the night, so you aren’t worried about him waking up. you think you’re holding your voice back, but your mind is hazy from the weed and your moans are not as quiet as you think.
mark is fast asleep on the couch, but a sudden vibration of his phone laying on top of his chest jolts him awake.
“what the…” he rubs his eyes, moving to get up and go to his room to lay in the comfort of his bed. he’s still so high, and he almost misses a soft cry coming from the direction of your room. almost.
he turns his head to your room, seeing your door slightly open with the warm light from your bedside lamp peaking through. he thinks he’s hearing things until he hears it again.
but it’s not just a cry, it’s the sound of a name.
his name. in your voice.
“m-mark. oh fuck, mark.”
there’s no way what he thinks is going on is happening, but as he approaches the door, his suspicions are not only confirmed by the repetition of his name, but the view of you that comes into his vision.
you’re on your bed, wearing only his hoodie and underwear that currently houses your hand. your legs are spread and your head is thrown back as you moan out his name.
mark’s mouth goes dry, and he immediately feels himself harden. this can’t be a high dream, right? he pinches himself. nope, not a dream.
he swallows thickly as he processes everything going on in front of him. sober mark would be more hesitant, but high mark says fuck it. you’re literally calling out to him.
you don’t even notice your roommate come in until you feel a dip in your bed. you gasp, immediately closing your legs as your head snaps up to make eye contact with the intruder.
you look up to see mark, his eyes intense as they meet yours.
“mark! oh my fucki- get out!” you start to ramble, shocked at this situation. “i swear it’s not what it looks like.. i just-”
“what does it look like, baby?” mark comes closer to you. you immediately stop at his words, mouth opening in shock at the petname. mark continues.
“that you’re getting your pretty little self off while moaning my name? what are you thinking about?” he settles in front of your now curled up form.
“or, who are you thinking about? cause i think i can guess who,” he says lowly, lips forming a slight grin as he peers into your widened eyes.
this isn’t just a product of being high out of your mind, right?
you sit up slightly.
“mark.. you aren’t weirded out?” you ask hesitantly.
“why would i be? in fact, let me show you how i’m feeling.” time seems to slow as mark grabs your hand and leads your hand to his sweats. you gasp as you feel how hard - and big - he is.
“sorry for the interruption, but let’s get back to it? i’d love to give you a hand, baby,” mark backs up, pulling you by the waist until you’re propped on your back atop your pillows. he settles between your legs.
“all wrapped up in my hoodie, just like a present,” mark says lowly, his eyes moving down as he lifts up the bottom of his hoodie to meet your soaked underwear. “is all this for me?”
you’re still in shock, honestly, but even this is a high fever dream, you’re taking full advantage of it.
“it’s all for you, markie,” you manage to let out.
he immediately jumps into action even in his high state, getting on his stomach to go down on you. he doesn’t even bother taking off your underwear. he’s tasting you as your panties get even more soaked, your arousal combining with his spit.
mark uses one hand to move your panties to the side, and you gasp at the direct contact.
“oh god mark, feels too fucking good,” you moan out. your body is already feeling so good from the amount of weed coursing through your blood, but mark’s tongue is sending chills throughout your entire being.
your eyes roll and toes curl at the pleasure, hands coming to grip his hair as he lets the mixture of his spit and your juices flow down his chin onto your bed.
mark buries his nose into your clit, looking up at you, and as if you sense him staring, you look back down to meet his eyes.
the sight of him gripping your thigh with one arm as his other hand works to get you off is something beyond your wildest dreams, and it has you cumming only seconds after locking eyes.
mark stares up at you in wonder, groaning as you throw your head up and let out a cry, legs shaking around his head as he helps you ride out your orgasm.
when he sits back up to admire his work, he swears he could cum then and there. in his sights is you still in his hoodie, eyes teary, panting from the pleasure he gave you, and underwear absolutely soaked.
“fuck, baby, you tasted too good.” he’s so hard it hurts.
as you come down, you look up at him, catching his breath, lips still shiny, and eyes absolutely piercing. the haze of the high is still there, and you both know exactly what needs to come next.
“mark, fuck me, please.”
“…anything for you, baby,” mark replies. he takes off his shirt and sweats, and your hands move to take his hoodie off of you when he stops you.
“no, keep it on. i need to fill you up like this,” he says, tone slightly pleading. if he was already beyond turned on seeing you get off in his hoodie, fucking you in it would be a whole different story.
“condoms?” he asks.
“i’m on the pill, and i haven’t fucked anyone in a really long time,” you reply, getting slightly impatient. you just want to feel him.
mark doesn’t realize it straight away, but he’s so happy to hear that. “me too, baby.”
he lines himself up with your entrance, rubbing his cock up and down your slit to coat himself in your arousal. you moan out at the teasing, still sensitive from earlier.
“stop teasing, need you so bad mark,” you groan. he grins.
“shh, need to take my time stretching you out, baby.” he latches his head onto your entrance, slowly pushing the tip in. just the tip has you seeing stars.
“fuck mark, w-why are you so big..” the stretch burns, but he slowly inches himself in, letting you adjust.
“you’re so t-tight,” he chokes out, teeth clenching as he feels your walls start to engulf him. if he moves too fast, he knows he’ll cum too soon.
as he bottoms out, the two of you moan into each other, his forehead resting on yours as you both feel each other.
“can i kiss you, dude?” mark asks a bit too innocently for the situation you’re in, and your resulting laugh sends a vibration through you that has you both moaning out.
“i can’t believe you just called me dude when your dick is literally inside of me right now, of course you can kiss me,” you give him the okay, and right away his lips are on yours.
the kiss is sluggish yet deep, and he starts to move his hips ever so slightly as he deepens your kiss further. his hips start to pick up more speed gradually, and you separate from his lips as you gasp out.
you’re moaning his name and he’s moaning yours, both of your thoughts unable to form coherently. the only thing you have in mind is each other and how good you both feel.
his hips start to rut into you more desperately, his pelvis hitting your sensitive bud as deep groans leave his throat.
you’re getting lost in the rocking motion, feeling drool leak from the side of your mouth. his cock reaches a place so deep inside of you no other has reached.
mark is also feeling it, mind spinning as his breaths leave him harshly. he’s knows he’s not gonna last long.
“fuck baby, i need you to cum on my cock.” he punctuates his words with his hand resting on your lower stomach as he starts to thumb at your clit.
your eyes shut tight at the feeling, already reaching another high. the band in your stomach tightens and tightens as mark rubs harsh circles in tempo with his quickening thrusts, and in a second the band snaps.
you cum hard around mark, and mark almost has to stop from how tight you’re gripping around him, walls pulsating as you ride out your high. relieved at you finishing and unable to hold back any longer, mark pulls out and finishes, cum landing on the hoodie you’re wearing.
he collapses next to you, and the two of you catch your breath as you come down from both your sex and weed highs.
mark’s too fucked out to realize he came on his own hoodie, but you’re the one to point it out. already feeling your eyes droop with fatigue, you tiredly joke with him.
“markie, you came all over your hoodie, how am i supposed to stay warm tonight?” you hope he’s picking up what you’re trying to say, and luckily he does. he sits up, tugging the hoodie off your form and tossing it to the side.
“nah dude, i can do a better job than that old hoodie.” mark lays back down, gathering you into his arms. you lay your head against his chest tucked under his chin and close your eyes.
both of you have cooled down, and the feeling of his skin on yours is just what you need. the warmth from mark’s body wrapped around you lulls you to start dozing off.
mark calls your name.
“what is it, markie?”
he’s silent for a second before you feel his chin shift atop your head. he’s smiling.
“round 2 in the morning?”
⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆
thank you for reading!! this is the fastest fic i've written so far so hopefully it's okayy. happy new year!!! ♡ in luv with mark lee rn
-coco :)
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bleedingoptimism · 4 months
Text
Eddie was ugly when he was a kid. Ugly with a capital U. And not like, his peers said he was, so he thought he was ugly, but he really wasn’t, no. He was UGLY. Big bottomless eyes, a big round nose, big mouth, full lips, small face, and with his head shaved even his ears looked too big. Plus he was thin and long-limbed... He looked like a bug! He was U-G-L-Y
But it’s okay. It’s just a universal truth and not a problem anymore because he grew up. And he grew into the too-big features that made him look bad. Now they are part of his charm. He grew up and he looks good now, and he knows it. His big dark eyes, his round nose, and his plump lips are attractive features now. 
The thing is, it didn’t bother him then, and it doesn’t bother him now. It’s an inconsequential matter, laughable really. So why is he wrestling Steve Harrington in his living room to stop him from looking at the photo he found while cleaning up Wayne’s trailer? Who knows, maybe, and just maybe he doesn’t want to hear Steve call him ugly. Maybe he’s vain like that. Maybe he doesn’t want the most beautiful boy he’s ever met to think he’s ugly. Maybe he doesn’t need confirmation that Steve will never notice him like that because he’s so out of his league they are not even playing the same sport. Not that Eddie knows anything about sports. Whatever.
Steve had come over to help him move out. He is moving in with Jeff to a tiny place that’s closer to college and Eddie had wanted to surprise Wayne by giving him back his room and leaving it spotless and fit for a grown man. And Steve had kindly offered to help when he’d told him about it.
They were just finishing up boxing some books when a photo fell out of an old copy of Moby Dick. Why was it there in the first place?! Eddie’s eyes had gone wide when he saw it was a ridiculous photo of him, standing straight and with a huge smile on his face hanging on to a pass-me-down backpack on his first day of school. He’d dived to the floor to try and grab it but when Steve saw he didn’t want him to see what it was…
Steve wanted to know what it was now, obviously.
He took the photo and ran back to the living room, screaming and laughing with Eddie close behind as he screamed bloody murder and jumped on top of him, clinging to his back. Steve stopped just long enough not to let him fall but then started running again trying to shake him off. Eddie let himself fall off Steve and grabbed him by the waist, pulling him close to him to try to grab the photo that Steve, giggling uncontrollably, was keeping at arm's length.
Eventually, when their lungs couldn’t get enough air, they stopped struggling and sighed in unison, which prompted another laughing fit. And then, Steve looked at the photo, with Eddie still holding onto him from behind, looking over his shoulder.
When he saw the picture again Eddie flinched waiting for Steve’s laugh. And laugh he did but not meanly, instead he said,
“Oh my god, Eddie you were so cute!” 
“Shut up. No, I wasn’t” he answered with a scoff. Then, and just then, he noticed the position they were in. How close he was standing to Steve. He swallowed loudly and looked at Steve, to see if he noticed too, to see if he’d pull away.
But Steve was smiling at the photo, biting his lip and letting little giggles escape from time to time, “You were!” he insists. 
Eddie laughs, “Dude, stop I was not. You don’t have to mean about it” starting to get a little annoyed but Steve shakes his head looking way too sincere.
“You are not serious,” Eddie frowns searching his eyes which are still looking at the picture, “Look at my tiny face and the ears!” He says exasperated.
Steve chuckles again, “I know, they are huge! And the eyes! Oh my god- You looked like a bug Eddie-!” he laughs, and yep. There it is. Eddie thinks bitterly- “You were so pretty!” Steve exclaims actually cooing at him.
And wait- 
“You are ridiculous” Eddie laughs and Steve finally turns to look at him and notices how close they are. He blushes furiously and Eddie is so close to his face that he can feel the heat on his cheeks now. Eddie removes his hands from Steve’s waist so he doesn’t feel trapped by him, but moves his face a fraction closer and smirks flirtingly at him, “Were?” he asks.
Steve blinks at him and Eddie can feel his eyes moving across his face as if it were a caress. He looks at his eyes, his nose, his jaw, his lips, he swallows and his eyelids fall a little before he looks back up at Eddie’s eyes and smiles shyly before he says, “Are. You are pretty.” and Eddie closes the distance between them. 
💋
a drink? ☕🥐💕
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pucksandpower · 22 days
Text
Of Roomates and Revenge
Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader
Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg
Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so
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Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink
I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.
The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.
In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.
The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.
Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.
Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.
Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.
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Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox
I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.
What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.
Duties would include:
Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water
Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)
Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)
In return, you’d get:
A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)
Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry
Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)
First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make
The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.
Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.
No scammy offers or soliciting, please!
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Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)
Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink
Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!
I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.
What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.
You’ll get:
Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district
Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment
Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas
As much wine as you can drink (and more)
In exchange, you’ll be expected to:
Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement
Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”
Refill wine glasses as needed
Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it
The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.
You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.
If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!
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Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:
Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)
Compensation: €400 per event
Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.
A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.
Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:
Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike
Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)
Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits
Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose
We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.
Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.
If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!
No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.
P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)
Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)
Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations
I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...
I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.
I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.
That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.
Your main duties would include:
Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment
Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)
Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc
Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.
In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.
Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.
If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.
I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.
No weirdos please.
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Hi,
Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.
I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).
A little about my qualifications:
Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics
Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄
Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway
Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)
No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry
In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.
Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!
I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!
Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.
Cheers,
Y/N
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 16h
My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!
I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.
A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.
This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:
“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”
Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.
Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.
I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.
My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.
I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.
I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.
Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.
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u/chronicgossiper · 12h
Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h
Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.
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u/chronicgossiper · 10h
Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h
Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.
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u/nosyandproud · 8h
Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?
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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h
He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h
So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h
It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h
Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.
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u/nosyandproud · 3h
Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h
Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h
This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!
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u/NotBritneySpears
Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m
Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.
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r/relationships
u/yourusername · 19h
I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?
Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.
About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.
I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.
Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.
From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.
But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.
I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?
In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.
Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?
Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.
Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!
The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.
Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!
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u/judgingloudly · 18h
Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!
If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!
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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h
I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!
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u/livefordrama · 16h
I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …
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u/yourusername · 15h
Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!
As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!
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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h
Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.
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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h
Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!
Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.
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u/everydayopportunist · 12h
This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂
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u/devilsadvocate · 11h
I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.
My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!
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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h
I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.
The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 15h
AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?
I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...
A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.
She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.
Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.
But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.
Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”
I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”
I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.
The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.
It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.
After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.
But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?
I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?
Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?
I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.
Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.
But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.
Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?
Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?
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u/juryofone · 14h
YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.
Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.
The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.
My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h
I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h
Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!
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u/neutralpartier · 11h
NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.
The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.
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u/glasshalfempty · 10h
ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.
My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h
This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h
Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.
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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h
I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h
I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.
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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h
Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h
Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 8h
UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!
When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.
Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.
Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...
After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.
So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.
But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.
I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.
When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?
“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”
It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.
The limbo period was … not fun.
After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.
So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.
That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.
And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?
Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.
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u/juryofone · 7h
Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.
But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!
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u/neutralpartier · 7h
I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.
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u/glasshalffull · 6h
As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.
I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!
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u/romanticempath · 5h
What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.
I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!
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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h
I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?
Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!
All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!
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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h
“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 21h
My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)
You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.
A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.
Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!
Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.
On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.
Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.
Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.
The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.
So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!
In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.
Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.
But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.
Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.
I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.
So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.
I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.
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u/chronicgossiper · 18h
Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.
Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.
As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.
At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h
I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.
They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h
Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h
Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.
Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.
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u/nosyandproud · 10h
The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.
That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.
At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.
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u/realitychecker · 7h
OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:
“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”
Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!
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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h
Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”
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u/buildingbridges
OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.
My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...
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r/ask
u/amateurdetective · 15h
I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code
I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.
So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.
Hear me out:
First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.
Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.
But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.
Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.
The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.
I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:
Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal
The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it
Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy
After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real
Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises
Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!
I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.
Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.
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u/scepeticbynature · 14h
Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.
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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h
Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.
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u/amateurdetective · 10h
I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:
A pair of feuding former childhood best friends
One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge
Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties
The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed
Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h
Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!
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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h
Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.
I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.
But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!
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u/amateurdetective · 6h
THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.
Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.
That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h
All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄
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clemellie · 5 months
Text
red right hand [e.w x fem!reader x a.a]
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[photo creds] happy halloween :3 !! if ur a masc wearing a mask today i want u so bad Who said that lol
pairings: ghostface!ellie williams x fem!reader x ghostface!abby anderson
summary: ellie and abby remind you that you are theirs.
warnings: 18+, dark themes, smut. established fwb ellabs x reader. reader flirting with owen (notes app apology), reader in dress (youtube apology), fingering, strap-on sex, pet names, minor choking, dacryphilia, morally grey characters.
“didn’t know you were into that.”
“into what?” ellie asks, forcing herself into the conversation as she steps between you and abby. she notices what holds your gaze; the packaged costume hanging on the rack before you. 
“nothing,” you lie to ellie, hoping the blonde drops it. she doesn’t. “a masked murderer, apparently.”
your face burns. you don’t have a response— unable to argue with her because that’s sorta what you implied. even though it may have been quite insensitive considering jackson had its own serial killer roaming the streets. 
or so, the authorities think, both a cop and a shitty frat boy having been gutted— but truly no loss there.  
ellie looks at you dumbfounded, how did she not know this little interest of yours? she would’ve been fucking you as michael myers by now.
her head tilts, the familiar ghostface mask staring back at her. “eh…i don’t get it,” ellie mutters. kinda of untrue, kinda not, she believes it's more silly than scary. 
and it’s a huge inconvenience— taking someone’s life as some overused mask intercepts her vision? a nightmare.
abby liked it on the other hand. the way it builds up fear in a person, breaking down their courage until they’re completely vulnerable and submissive. abby loves it.
you roll your eyes at the comment, “course you wouldn’t.”
ellie’s brow lower in curiosity at whatever you were implying. “and why is that?” she asks, green eyes boring into you. 
“you’re like…the shy dork in these movies…wouldn’t expect you to like it.”
ouch, ellie scoff-gasps, abby chuckling beside you. she mutters, “am not.”
“not a bad thing,” you inform the girl, leaning closer to her, “could be the most dangerous.”
her eyes fall to your lips when you back away slightly, an innocent smile on your pretty face that almost makes her forget you’re in a public setting. that is, until you remind her, slightly lifting the angel costume in your hands, “now can you two please get your costumes while i try this on?” 
you walk away before they get a word out, not waiting to see if they changed their indecisive minds. it took a lot to get them to be the devils to your angels, the two wanting to stay in on halloween instead of go to a party.
especially one in a mansion near the lakes, it sounds miserable.
but how could they deny you?
the following night, the party is as packed as you assumed it to be. the youth in jackson couldn't care less for the fact authorities spoke against having such events today. however, the two people you want to be there, aren’t.
“where are your wives?” your friend asks, a frown evident on your face. you don’t know. they’ve been ignoring you since the afternoon— even left the mirror photo you sent to them on read. 
even though your cleavage looked pretty damn good. assholes. “probably forgot,” you shrug, drinking the remaining alcohol in your orange solo cup.
“i’d say that’s a good thing,” she says, earning a puzzled look from yourself. “why?”
“because that dude hasn’t stopped staring at you all night.”
that dude in question, is owen moore. lingering near the corner of the room, pathetic puppy eyes directed your way. god, you almost feel embarrassed that you’ve captured his attention. can’t get over abby so he thinks he has a chance with you? funny…
“excuse me,” you place your empty cup in her hand, ignoring the way she said your name, as though she was trying to stop you from making a bad decision. you weren’t going to— there was no universe where you touched owen in any way. but you could have fun.
you approach him with short steps, the man taking all of you in. your feathery white wings attached to your short lacy dress, your sheer light thigh-high stockings, your glittery makeup that adorned your face. 
god, he’s not who you want drooling over you, but you’ll take his compliments— which are immediate.
“y/n…you look great— you always do but i mean, you look extra nice.”
“thank you, owen,” you give him a tight-lipped smile, “not too bad yourself.”
you look him up and down, cowboy hat matching the rest of his attire. “you know what they say, owen?” you ask him, the man blinking at you without a thought behind his eyes. you lean into his ear, “save a horse…ride a cowboy.”
he gulps, your hand on his shoulder making him feel like he was frozen. “is that so?” 
“mhm,” you hum, but the moment between you two is interrupted, one blink, and your white dress is stained red. with wide eyes, you look to owen, whose cup is now empty. he speaks quickly, “shit— some dick bumped into me.”
“right,” you mumble, irritated as the liquid seeps deeper into the fabric. “here— c’mon,” he sighs, grabbing your hand and leading you through the crowd of people, the sensation of feeling watched making you uncomfortable. 
ellie and abby didn’t need to know you went willingly with owen upstairs at a party, despite the situation. they’d either kill you or him.
he drags you to an empty bedroom, seemingly knowing where he is going. not a shocker he’s buddy buddy with the rich asshole that lives here. “don’t know if these will fit but…” he trails off as he opens up a drawer to the dresser, glancing back at you.
“it’ll be fine, thank you,” you tell him, signaling you want to be alone. he doesn’t get it until you stand there idly, blinking your lashes at him. 
“yeah, okay,” he nods, a smile before he walks again, hand grazing your arm as he does so. you stare at him until he shuts the door, before letting out the biggest sigh of your life.
how has this night gone so downhill?
you discard your wings and walk toward the dresser, hand pushing around the endless neatly folded polo’s. “gross,” you mumble to yourself, shutting the drawer and searching another one. 
by the time you find a shirt close enough to your size, the creaking of the door alerts you that you’re not alone. “owen—” you jump in place when you turn your head. that sure as hell wasn’t owen. 
the ghostface is staring at you, shutting the door once again. you don’t know how to react— your brain and body are on two different planets as you watch them. listen to your brain, y/n.
you swallow hard, “cute.”
gaze avoiding them, you walk toward the door, only for them to step in front of your line of path.
“dude—“ you mutter, “not funny.”
they don’t move, they don’t respond. they stare at you, towering over you, your heart racing faster with each second that passes, but you can’t label it as fear.
you feel weak in their presence, numb as they begin to back you into the large bed centered in the room. “s-stop,” you sigh, hands on their chest, them obeying immediately. 
they don’t pull away, though, a gasp leaving your pretty lips when they push you onto the bed, your back hitting the soft mattress. your doe eyes stare into the black eye sockets, the figure leaning over you. “thought you liked this?”
her voice is like silk, despite how muffled it is. you recognize it immediately. “abby?”
she tugs off the mask, usually neatly braided hair now looking the same way it did after a night with you and ellie. 
“would you prefer it to be owen?” she taunts, gloved hands gripping your thighs. “what?” you hiss, “no.”
“sure about that?” she tilts her head at you, “seemed pretty fucking into him tonight— letting him touch you.”
you prop yourself on your elbows, finding the courage to speak back to her. it was always more fun when you irritated the girl(s). 
“and what if i was?” you ask, “were you gonna stop me?”
“you?” she chuckles, fingers trailing back and forth on the bare skin of your thigh, “no. but him?”
once again, she’s hovering over your body, lips pressing against your jaw, leading to your ear. her voice is extremely low-spoken and extremely coarse, “he’d be fucking dead.”
“ab—“ swiftly, her rough hands turn you over with ease, the mattress immediately sinking behind you. she’s climbed on, lustful eyes lingering right where your dress ends, you’re already bent over and showing your ass. 
so fucking desperate, and she loves it. if only ellie could see this angelic sight— but the auburn haired girl is very busy at the moment. 
for now, you’re all hers. 
the coolness in the air hugs your skin, dress bunched on your back while your bottom half is on full display. abby laughs under her breath, gloved fingers ghosting over your underwear. more specifically, the slit that is very damp. “who got you this wet, baby?”
“you…” it’s a whisper, one she hears, but pretends she doesn’t. her palm meets the tender skin of your ass, the glove somewhat softening the blow. still, a whimper leaves your lips, abby smirking at the pretty noise. “who?”
you hold in a groan of frustration, “you, abby.”
“mm,” she hums, “that’s what i thought.”
anticipation courses throughout your needy body, the girl tugging down your underwear, mouth watering at the sight before her. she knows ellie wanted her to wait— but fuck, she can’t. 
removing one of her gloves, her fingers meet your aching core, feeling just how soaked you are for her. one of her favorite feelings. 
“abs…” you sigh in bliss, two of her fingers entering you at once— filling you at once. as always, she starts at a slow pace, like she needs you to get used to how she feels inside you. 
how your pretty pussy promptly clenches around her, welcoming her. you belong to her. and ellie. even if you haven’t outwardly admitted it.
abby’s lips are parted as she concentrates, watching as you try to grind into her hand, inserting her digits in and out, in and out, in and— “got started without me?”
neither of you had noticed the auburn haired girl entering the room; better her than anyone else. just as abby was, her body was adorned in a black robe, ditching the mask that was now tossed to the floor. they certainly weren’t dressed as your devils, but fuck, was this so much better.
she locks the door before devoting her attention to you two, abby still finger fucking you at a calm pace.
“took you forever,” abby scoffs, halting her movements when ellie approaches. ellie kisses the blonde, palm on the back of her head as she presses deeply into her, you watching with blown pupils. 
“he put up a fight,” ellie mutters against her lips when she pulls away, ignoring the puzzled look on your face. you don’t question their conversation, not when ellie looks at you with those familiar dark eyes.
the girl slowly walks around the bed, like a predator stalking its prey. except you’re already being ravished by the buff woman behind you, who has now quickened her movements, fingers moving inside you just right. 
“taking her good, aren’t you?” ellie asks softly, standing before you. you look up to her, mouth opening but nothing coming out. merely heavy breathing, ellie chuckling at the sight. “yea. yea you are,” she says, hand holding your chin as your head starts to fall, “taking her so fucking good.” 
ellie palms herself through the robe, which happened to be a major inconvenience. she realized this when she fell on her fucking face while trapping him in the basement, but especially now. 
she annoyingly tugs the fabric over her head, leaving her in a black ribbed tank top and dark denim jeans. 
you watch with hazy eyes as she undoes the buttons, letting the strap free from her clothing. “c’mon baby. get it wet,” she rasps, tapping the silicone on your lips.
you don’t hesitate at all, mouth opening and sucking the strap hard. your tongue swirls around it, ellie watching with low lids as you took pleasure in it. 
she can’t resist palming the back of your head, pushing you deeper, letting it hit the back of your throat. 
you make a muffled noise, drooling around the toy. 
“choke on it, angel. choke on my cock,” ellie whispers, smiling at you innocently despite her actions. with her crude words and abby’s unrelenting speed, you’re moaning around her cock, and tightening around abby’s fingers.
there are tears in your eyes, finding it harder to breathe through your nose, and everything starting to hit you at once. they had just started, and they already ruined their sweet angel. you’re a mess, with mascara pigments around your eyes. 
ellie loves you like this, eyes somehow darkening even more as she suddenly pulls away. you gasp for air, not noticing abby has also removed herself from you. not until your body calms down, and you feel empty.
you don’t get the chance to complain, not when the silicone that was just assaulting your throat, sinks deeply inside of your pussy. no hesitation.
you cry out, ellie already thrusting into you hard. unlike abby, she wasn’t as patient. especially not right now, with adrenaline at an all-time high.
your head falls, finding it hard to keep your whole body up at this point, you don’t realize the blonde now stood in front of you. not until her kind hands hold the sides of your face, thumbs brushing over the apples of your cheeks. “feels good, doesn’t it?” 
you nod quickly, mumbling something you don’t even understand. you cannot think straight for the life of you. ellie urges you to arch your back further with the palm of her gloved hand, which you happily obey. 
abby keeps her eyes on you as she speaks to ellie, “fuck her harder. what our girl wants…right baby?”
again, you only respond with a nod. it’s enough for ellie, gripping your hips as she does as she’s told. if her hands weren’t covered, her nails would be sinking into your skin.
the new angle and the new rhythm have your pussy throbbing, your g spot being brushed against harshly. 
“you’re ours, right babe? ours to use, hm?”
ellie leans over you, a cry-whine-pathetic moan leaving your lips at the way her cock presses into you like this. with no answer, as you’re too focused on the pleasure, she stops. abby is no longer soft with you, hands rough as she forces your chin to tilt up, glossy eyes meeting hers.
“she asked you a question, y/n.”
“y-yes— fuck,” you cry out, “only yours. only yours.”
your words are rushed, and you feel abby wipe away the tears that have slipped from your eyes. how quickly she goes from cold to warm, is impressive. you don’t even need to see ellie’s face to know she was grinning smugly making you wait. 
with a shaky breath, you repeat yourself, “only yours.”
ellie hums in satisfaction, fixing her posture and pulling out, then roughly thrusting into you once more. a squeak leaves your mouth, knees burning against the stranger's sheets as she fucks you.
the familiar fire ignites in your core, mouth hung open as spit falls from the corner of your lips. abby watches you with ravenous eyes, admiring how beautiful you look when your mind is so foggy and fucked out. she presses her lips into yours, moving unhurriedly, relishing in how you taste. 
“close…i’m close,” you mumble into her lips, but don’t dare to pull away, letting her tongue intrude your mouth, kissing your own. 
ellie decides not to be mean, knowing she could pull out now and not give you what you want. something you sorta deserved for coming up here with him in the first place. 
but, she took care of him, now she needs to take care of you.
“come on. cum for me. cum on me, babe.”
ellie’s voice rasps in your ear as she leans over you once more, gloved hand under you as it slides up your body until it rests on the base of your neck. her hand is wrapped around it, applying enough pressure that trigger your orgasm.
your body shakes with a loud yelp, but it doesn’t compare to the scream that echoes throughout the mansion. 
the sweet orgasm is short-lived as ellie pulls out; the two girls sharing a knowing look. you’re confused, suddenly brought out of your sex haze.
all you know is there’s not just muffled music from outside the bedroom door, but multiple voices roaring. 
“guess that’s our cue,” abby murmurs, still taking the time to properly put your underwear back on, giving you a gentle kiss afterward. you just nod dumbly, watching as ellie adjusts herself. 
when she leans over to pick up the mask she had previously abandoned, something falls from her back pocket, which you’re quickly retrieving for her.
“you dropped…” 
both girls look at you, and the closed switchblade you held in your hand. that was now wet, due to the remnants of the dark red fluid that messily covered the weapon. 
fuck. they look at each other, then back to you.
with no words said, you lean into the girl, tucking the switchblade back into her back pocket carefully, placing a sweet kiss on her freckled cheek. 
then you leave. not caring that owen moore was found gutted in the garage.
truly, no loss there.
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blue-jisungs · 3 months
Text
late night comfort
author's note. how is he even real :(
summary. your boyfriend reassures you that you’re perfect in his eyes, no matter what
warnings. reader is just having a bad day :( ,, not really a warning but female pronouns + mark calls reader pretty, my girl etc + not proofread, sorry!!
word count. +- 800
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mark opened the door and almost right away took off his shoes and threw his bag into a corner. the hour wasn’t late, they managed to finished their work as scheduled so there he is, 8:30pm sharp, back home.
the tv in the living room is off, there’s no rattling of cutlery or music playing on the speakers. but your shoes are right next to his. the sight makes his heart flutter just when he hears–
“markie?”
he smiled at the nickname, locking the door.
“yeah, it’s me! are you in bed already?” your boyfriend asks and right away goes to the bathroom. good thing he took a shower right after practice and switched into new clothes, so now he just needed to clean his face and…
“myeah” you answered, something off in your voice.
mark worked quickly on his face care routine, skipping two steps only to finish it earlier. then, he almost jumped into the bedroom and grabbed his pjs.
“is something wrong?” mark asked, frowning. you’re on your side of the bed, facing the window. not turning or even peeking at him. buried under the duvet, you sighed.
“nope, just tired” you murmured.
your boyfriend almost tripped over his own legs because he rushed too early to take a step while his pants were halfway on. only because he feels like there’s some hidden meaning to your words.
“wanna talk about it, dude?” mark asked and the mattress dipped under his weight settling down.
“not really. good night, markie” your voice is muffled by the duvet.
“hey, no. at least give me a kiss, huh? i missed you like crazy, pretty, and all i see is your… well, technically the back of your head” mark joked and stretched his head, still sitting straight.
there’s silence.
“did i do something wrong? come on, i’ll die without a kiss from my girl” he whined, half-jokingly and half-seriously.
“i don’t… i don’t feel pretty today” your voice is quiet but still clearly bouncing off the walls due to the comforting silence in the room.
“what?” mark couldn’t believe his ears. you, the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on, doesn’t feel pretty today? that’s ridiculous. and heartbreaking.
“so no kiss, sorry. i’ll kiss you as much as you want tomorrow, i don’t want you to look at me now” you said, voice bitter.
“what are you talking about? no, please… you looked so angelic this morning and i bet nothing changed. did anyone tell you something?” be grunted, brows furrowing “i’ll beat them up”
“with respect, you’d lose. no, it’s just… one of the days when i look in the mirror and instantly tear my gaze away” as you spoke, mark hated the fact that your back is facing him. that he can’t see you and your adorable face.
“i know” he finally said, voice small “i had those days too. but i promise, you’re so so so beautiful, du– baby”
there’s a small movement and mark laid his hand atop your shoulder.
“can i see you? just for a split second? i missed your pretty face, seriously” mark whined.
your chest moved while letting out a deep sigh and you slowly, shyly even, turn around to peek at him through your arm. mark’s face instantly lit up, ebony irises scanning your features and a toothy smile showing his pearly whites in a boyish manner.
“ha, i thought so. you’re as stunning as ever. as if jit even more beautiful! wanna know why?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. you nod slowly, curious “because you’re laying in my bed, next to me, in our shared home”
“if i give you your goodnight kiss will you lay down and shut up?” you joked, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. and mark saw that a relief washed over you. he nodded dramatically and you sat up, covers falling off your shoulders. pulling him by his shirt to close the distance, his lips almost instinctively landed on yours. the kiss is short but sweet, a form of saying ‘thank you, i love you. i needed to hear that’.
and mark felt it, knew it.
wrapping his arms around you and suddenly pulling you back to the laying position, with your head perfectly laying in the crook of his face.
“to me, you could be even covered in ketchup and mustard and you’d be still the prettiest dude ever–” mark started, only to be interrupted by the laughter erupting from your chest.
“okay, okay. i got the memo, silly boy” you poke his chest and feel him smiling from above you “same applies to you though…”
masterlist <3
taglist. @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @w3bqrl
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satoruhour · 6 months
Note
T!!! do you ever wonder what it’s like to lose your virginity to Gojo? personally, I think he’d be so sweet but he’d tease here and there just to make you cry a little 😋
a/n: fem!reader, discussions of losing virginity (both you & gojo), oral f! receiving, fingering, p -> v sex, praise and soft dom dynamics, protected sex, aftercare
losing v-card w/ gojo i think would be def sweet !!! ok for me theres like two versions: the ver where youre both virgins and losing it to each other and the other where u are the virgin. i would think gojo as a virgin is cute and clueless, but he learns fast enough, BUT when its the two of you being virgins it’s just so adorable bc you guys are still new to this and intimacy feels so weird and stuff. you bump heads the first time you try to kiss, gojo isnt sure what to do past making out
you figure it out together, you both have weird perceptions of what sex was bc you heard it from your friend and gojo sometimes watches p*rn but it doesnt rlly have that same kick. he also doesnt want to hurt you. virgin gojo gasps at everything lol when u first remove ur shirt and he sees your breasts. gasp. removes ur pants and sees u in underwear. gasp. pulls your underwear away from you. loudest gasp known to man. 
compliments you a lot, but sometimes he uses the terms in a weird way “you have such… symmetrical labia, babe!” like WHAT. ? its endearing that hes trying his hardest but also … 😭dude. like i said he learns fast enough but in the dynamic where u are both losing the v-card to each other you two are a lot more reserved and nervous! lots of mistakes, mishaps, you thought u could suck dick but you gagged and you had to take a min against his thigh to just rest. you two talked like his dick wasnt in ur hand the whole time 😭😭 it was funny
even with the penetrative sex, gojo bought like flavoured lube and ate a bit just to try it and youre panicking when he tips his head back and squeezes the lube into his mouth HELPPP like yes its safe to put in ur mouth just … dont. clumsy and a whiner, cums really fast into the condom and pouts when it ends like bitch u didnt even make me cum yet ! apologises profusely and proceeds to eat u out like you deserve. this second time is infinitely better hes getting good!!
okay virgin reader on the other hand .. yes! he would be so sweet (my fav), and be a soft dom but his playful antics and comments sometimes catch you off guard. a lot of dirty talk to ease into it and a lot of praise but also he emphasises for you to tell him if anything hurts or if youre not feeling it any more. is very skillful with his hands and makes you beg long before the real thing
“my hands feel nice, yeah?” as he’s kissing down your body and his hands wander, they stay above the water for quite a while, just feeling you up but once youre comfy youre nodding to him and he says “i need a verbal yes, darling”LIKE STOPPP BEFORE I FALL IN LOVE W U … he cares about ur consent and being vocal in what you want. hums a lot when he sees u in all your glory, smiling to himself when ur shirt first comes off and your perky tits are just begging to be played with. takes his time, a lot of body worship!!! says stuff like “dont be shy, i dont bite.. unless you want me to” to tease you but is so gentle w/ your body
makes u cum first on his tongue too, like at least thrice for u to know what you like in bed, but also to show u that your partner’s pleasure always comes first in the case for guys bc if ure not worshipping and groaning abt ur girls pussy .. what r u even doing atp? is pretty lenient when giving you oral with u as a virgin, doesnt want to overwhelm you so his ministrations are slow. hes also still getting to know your body, what makes u cum and the sensitive parts on ur body, “oh…? you like it when i do that?”, “does my sweetness like my fingers in her?”, “pussy looks so perfect, doing so well” is pretty goofy for your first time, sometimes cracking jokes in between too.
also deprives u of ur orgasm just to see how youd react to it since its ur first time and will apologise with kisses. u wouldnt put it past him to do it again when ure more familiar tho but since this is an introduction to ur body of some sorts he’ll be nice <3 doesnt let u suck him off on the first, always, he’s prioritising you
talks you through as he slips in. before when he was hooking up and fucking around he never liked to fuck people who are virgins just cause he doesnt like to see the pain on their face. it hurts, a lot, you have to admit, and gojo lets you take all the time in the world to scratch at his back, hold onto his arms, breathing with you as he inserts his cock inch by inch. satoru on the other hand is.. going insane by his standards. u just feel so warm and tight inside he has to do everything not to slam into you, and while he hates that the tears at the corner of ur eyes was bc of him, he’s desperate to see you crying in pleasure next time
“that’s it, baby, you need to breathe.”, “bottomin’ out soon, you okay?”, “good job, sweets, you took all of me!” does the jokes even thru penetrative sex just to see you laugh. the first thrusts r also pretty painful or rather uncomfortable, gojo kisses you to distract you from the pain when his hips move, “it’ll lessen soon okay? you’ll be moaning soon enough” you trust gojo, nodding into the kiss before your pussy’s pretty much accustomed to his dick in you and the pleasure settles in and hes all “there we go…” hes grinning so largely it scares you a little but his hips pick up pace just a bit more and youre having the time of your life. praise praise praise !!! so much of it. you’re cumming soon enough and gojo tries to memorise the way ur pussy feel bc he doesnt want to push u past ur limit, but is surprised after when you change positions and start riding him, hiding your shy face in his neck
teehee. it takes a while to get better ofc, gojo is rlly big that u still need time to adjust but that first time will always stick w you bc of how caring he was 💟 did aftercare like a pro too, cleaned you up in his bathroom, washed your hair and let you wash his body, wiggled his eyebrows and teased you about having shower sex, lots of kissing in the shower and everything was very soft. u slept like a baby that night
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redr0sewrites · 2 months
Text
Adam x Reader General Hcs
HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR HIM HES JUST SO. AUGAHGEHEG. i love him. characterizing him is so fun, but so challenging at the same time.
🥀 Cw: adam being adam, sfw + nsfw hcs, smut, breeding kink
🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion
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sfw:
Adam is more prone to casual flings and hookups, hes def not huge on relationships and longterm partners
this means that if your with him, you must be pretty special bc hes a huge ass handful
while he is a pretty big douche, adam is definitely loyal imo
deep down, hes still pretty insecure about both lilith and eve, and im a firm believer that he would never cheat on a partner if he was in a serious relationship
adam comes up with very.... interesting nicknames for you that are 10x more vulgar than the ones he uses for everyone else
hes HUGE on nicknames and petnames in general, at the start of a relationship theyre pretty crude and flirty but over time they start to become sweeter
sugartits, doll, sweet cheeks, bitch boy/babe, babycakes, BAE, lemondrop (idk it just fits), mama/mami, honeytits, honestly anything that comes to mind
adam likes to put "my" in front of most of your petnames, its not so much in a possessive way, moreso in a bragging way, he just loves telling the world that your HIS
he also definitely calls you bro, brah, dude, etc he doesn't care that it "doesnt sound romantic" 💀
adam finds the MOST unhinged things hilarious, hes the type to watch those ten hour long youtube videos of a spinning potato chip and laugh every ten seconds
speaking of, he has one of those loud, booming laughs with a slight wheeze to it
"BAAHAHAHAHAH BAE COME HERE LOOK AT THIS HAHA" and its just a low quality video of a water bottle falling over???
100% a shitty pickup line user
and also a shitty flirter in general
his flirting is just
obnoxious
adam is very proud of you, when the two of you officially got together he probably called half of heaven to announce that you two were dating
"THATS MY PARTNER‼️‼️‼️" type of vibes
adam acts like he isnt big on cuddles bit is secretly the clingiest, most touch starved person alive
PLEASE let him hold you, this man is tall af and loves just swallowing you in an embrace
when he was "courting" you (irritating you constantly and flirting with you obnoxiously until you caught on that he was serious) the biggest tell that his feelings were genuine was the amount of physical contact he initiated
adam was always leaning on you, throwing an arm over your shoulder, resting a hand on your thigh, hooking his arm through yours, overall invading your personal space
he was incredibly happy to FINALLY be able to cuddle with you when you both got together, and HAS to fall asleep touching you in some way every night
adam is almost always wearing his exterminator helmet, but he really likes it when you take it off for him at the end of the day. even he doesn't really understand why, but there's something so intimate to him about the fact that you love his real face more than the persona he puts on
he would rather die than admit it tho
hes not good at words or communication in general, and prefers to express his appreciation through actions
he brings you foods that he knows you like on days where you're especially busy, he gives you song recommendations that he'll think you'll like, he'll buy you a trinket he saw you eyeing at the store, just tiny things like that
adam genuinely does care about you, but as per his usual adam-ness, he would rather go bald than live up to that 💀
nsfw:
you cant tell me this man isnt kinky as shit
hes tried pretty much everything
HE LOVES TO HIT FROM THE BACK, DEF LIKES DOGGY STYLE
i also think he would like the mating press too, getting to watch your face as he wrecks you while also having the opportunity to leave bites all over your thighs, and feel them tremble as he fucks you? sign him up!
his dick is big big
i think hed be a little thicker than average, with a few veins running up the underside, but its his length that's downright heavenly
adam keeps himself pretty well groomed, but has a prominent happy trail and light fuzz at the very base of his cock
listen, this is the first man we're talking about, he KNOWS what hes doing
whether you're male or female, he will go down on you
once he buries himself between your thighs youre done for, adam barely comes up for air as he devours you
hes def sloppy w it too, loves when you cum on his face so he can lick it up
enjoys it when you return the favor as well, i actually think hed really realy like receiving head
would def fuck your face until your drooling
if you hve an oral fixation, you're in luck bc he LOVES watching you suck his dick, his fingers, anything really
adam always makes you lick and suck his fingers before fingering you, and will sometimes trigger your gag reflex by shoving them down your throat to watch you gasp and whine
adam has STAMINA, expect to stay up all night bc this man will stop at nothing to make sure you're both satisfied
i swear this man is built to breed, he has a HUGE breeding kink and goes crazy at the sight of his cum dripping from your hole. even if it's physically impossible for you to get pregnant, adam still babbles about "fucking a prety little babe" into you when he cums
adam likes using plugs to make sure his cum stays inside you, he'll also finger it back inside and loves smearing his cum on your thighs and ass
he also brings his fingers up to your face and has you lick the cum off of them
LOOOVEEEESSS marking you, by the end of the night youre always covered in bruises and scratches and hickeys galore
i love adam guys yes ik hes a douche but hes my douche <3
i wish i characterized him better but whateverrrrrr i dont want to write him as a total asshole but hes def not an angel either (haha im so funny💀)
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groguspicklejar · 3 months
Note
i just keep thinking of like the hockey / figure skater trope except it’s the 141 on the hockey team all being obsessed with reader who does figure skating
and at first they’re lowkey dicks about having to share the rink and “it can’t even be that hard” and “i could probably do that”
and then they see a quad lutz or the one where your partner holds you by your skate?? and SPINS YOU???? oh no no no that is Very Scary
(and they’re absolutely not jealous of this dude basically tossing you around nope not even a little bit- is that his hand on hip? why?- NO)
you'd be pulling Alexandra Trusova type moves and these muppets think they can do better, bitch please🙄🤚🏽
at first, it was the little comments through the looks they gave you. having to share the ice rink with the "pretty little ice princesses" (derogatory) disturbed their normal routine and they didn't like that. they looked down on your sport. they critised it for one stupid reason after the next.
and the comments got to you. you were angry with them. so you did one thing to shut them up. and that one thing was banned. illegal in the sport of figure skating.
you did Surya Bonaly's infamous backflip.
in an instant, everything changed when you land on one foot, completely unscathed and gleaming with pride when their jaws dropped. the rest of the day, they kept their little comments to themselves and stayed off the ice while you did your routine.
and from then on, they watched. admiring how graceful you are while still carrying out an athleticism they never thought possible for any human being to be on skates.
then they start trying to do your moves. Price nearly breaks his knee because he got too dizzy trying a scratch spin. Ghost falls on his back. Gaz ends up needing an ice pack while you quietly laugh behind your hand.
you're skating circles around them while they try to outperform you and fail. dismally. they see you doing a quad jump, Soap scoffs and goes "i can do tha'."
you giggle and extend your hand to the ice. "go on then."
for a second, he pales. but he quickly masks it and steps forward, breathing deeply, trying to recall your technique. when he attempts it, he knew he failed already.
he hit the ice so hard on the way down, the rest of 141 echoed the expectant "ooh"s and hisses. Gaz and Price had to close their eyes, both facing away with a grimace. Ghost's worried eyes stayed on Johnny.
you turned to the other three, half smiling, half wincing. "anyone else wanna give it a go?"
they were smart enough not to try anymore. at least, for the next few days. but they still wanted to try. still wanted to prove themselves right, though that was just an excuse to visit you and watch you practice your moves. especially when you're in your pretty, glittery, flowy outfits.
and watch them grit their teeth when you're on the ice with your skating partner. they hate it. they hate watching the guy touch you and lift you in the air. and the dance is quite intimate too. they don't like the two of you smiling and laughing with each other when you both get something wrong and trip and all on each other on the ice.
but the silver lining, the absolute highlight to even that, is watching you fly and spin when you're tossed in the air.
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hannieehaee · 4 months
Text
18+ / mdi
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content: boyfriend!mingyu & bf'sbestfriend!wonwoo, smut, afab reader, direct continuation to this, wonwoo pov, penetrative sex, oral (m and f receiving), mingyu's a lil shit, sex w/o protection, threesome, etc.
part 1
wc: 2275
a/n: tysm for the two ppl (i think??) who requested this. im so sorry i took so long </3
masterlist
"shit. please tell me this isn't a one time thing."
he heard you and mingyu chuckle at his breathless statement, except he had meant it. now that he had you once, he wasn't sure he could ever look you in the eye ever again without wanting to drag you right back into bed. he wasn't even going to get into the effect mingyu watching the two of you fuck had on him. he didn't want to open that can of worms just yet.
"hyung. get up. it's my turn," just as wonwoo was basking in on his post-orgasm bliss, of course mingyu had to interrupt him.
"gyu! give him some room to breathe!", you turned towards mingyu before turning back to stare down at him from your position above him, "are you okay, nonu?"
"don't baby him! you never baby me!"
"what do you mean? i always baby you!"
wonwoo had to admit he was quite entertained by your casual back and forth with mingyu while he laid naked under you, but he already felt himself growing hard again over the feeling of your wet pussy still laying right on top of his dick. by now he'd tuned you and mingyu out, keeping his eyes glued to the skin connecting the two of you, resisting the urge to grind his hips upwards and against you, so he went for something a bit more subtle (well, not really). while you and mingyu argued about who would do what next, wonwoo had decided to grab onto your hips and pull you down towards him mid speech, interrupting your conversation with your boyfriend as he locked lips with you once again. your immediate response was to yelp in surprise, but it didn't take you long to fall into the rhythm of wonwoo's lips, moaning against his lips as he buried his tongue in your mouth.
"d-dude! what the fuck? that's my girlfriend! you already had her, it's my turn," mingyu had gotten up from his spot sitting across from you, deciding to physically lift you off of wonwoo, earning a whine from you both as you chased for each other's lips.
"listen. i'm not about to third wheel between my girlfriend and my best friend', he turned back to wonwoo, we're taking turns. we'll be fair, okay? you can eat her out while i fuck her mouth. that's the most i can offer you right now," mingyu had made it sound very transactional, but wonwoo couldn't argue against him. the thought of your pretty cunt pressed against his face as you moaned around his best friend's cock sounded like a wet dream. it wasn't too difficult to agree, specially upon seeing your own enthusiastic agreement to the proposition.
a few moments later and the three of you were now practically a centipede on mingyu's bed. gyu was sitting at the end of the bed, back resting against the headboard as his hands guided your mouth in its bobs up and down his dick. behind you was wonwoo, who had you on all fours as he licked and sucked desperately at your cunt, which was grinding against his face with similar desperation. at the very end of the bed were wonwoo's hips, grinding maniacally against the bed at the arousal your taste and the sound of your moans were causing him.
"god, baby. you're so fucking good. such a pretty little mouth. n all for me, right beautiful?", groaned mingyu as he pushed your head further against his dick, forcing you to gag on his cock as you moaned against him.
"you like that, hyung? like my pretty girl's cunt? tastes so fucking good, doesn't it?", wonwoo wasn't sure what his reaction to his friend talking to him mid sex should be, but he was sure it shouldn't have caused him to speed up his hips, now practically humping the mattress.
what took the cake, however, was the feeling of your cunt against his tongue. wonwoo had thought he felt the utmost pleasure when you were riding him as his best friend jacked off to the sight of you, but nothing compared to your muffled moans as he sucked at your clit. he was sure that if he could see and hear you properly, he'd absolutely lose his mind.
"g-gyu ... need you to cum. please. want you in my mouth .. fuck my mouth - please!"
mingyu might've been used to hearing you quite literally begged for cock, but wonwoo sure as hell wasn't. your desperate moans for a big cock to fill your mouth had him groaning against your cunt, licking even more aggressively now as he held onto your hips and ground them against his face. your essence was taking over him, making him have to resist the urge to steal you away and rob orgasm after orgasm out of you as you cried for him to stop.
"yeah ... fuck! gonna cum, baby. are you ready? wanna see you swallow it all, yeah? be my good girl and take all of it for me," wonwoo felt you shake as mingyu came in your mouth, moaning louder than he'd even seen him, and that was saying a lot, considering how loud mingyu tended to be. he was now feeling himself become lightheaded at the mixture of your muffled moans and mingyu's loud ones. he hadn't realized until mingyu quietened down from his high that he was also moaning incessantly against your pussy, desperate for your release against his lips.
"c'mon, nonu. make her cum," taunted mingyu, using the nickname you had made up for him.
wonwoo took that as a challenge, speeding up his movements more than even he thought possible. there was nothing wonwoo had wanted in this moment, or maybe ever, than to feel your warm cream against his face.
"nonu! nonu, please - p-please! i'm almost there, just need to- oh! fuck, right there!", your cries for more had wonwoo going insane, feeling his cock almost explode at the sound of his name on your lips. he still couldn't believe he had you all to himself (well, almost) as you ground your ass against his face, pussy dripping and crying for him.
"cumming! i'm there, nonu- fuck!"
even from his angle, he felt you fall limp against your boyfriend, who was still sitting against the headboard as he watched him suckle on your clit. wonwoo had never thought his best friend to be so depraved, getting off on his friend making his girlfriend cry against his tongue, but he understood. he thought he might be a bit like him, maybe. but that was something for wonwoo to explore some other day. right now his focus was solely on the way you cried at him to stop kitten-licking at your swollen clit as your orgasm dissipated, but wonwoo couldn't help himself. he needed your cries of desperation embedded into his brain. he didn't know if he'd ever get a spot on your bed ever again, so he needed to make it worth it.
he couldn't get himself to stop until you physically separated yourself from him, now fully falling onto your boyfriend's lap, where he repositioned you so that you could sit up against mingyu's back, now facing wonwoo.
"did you like that, baby? liked your nonu's tongue on that pretty cunt?" mingyu was kissing your neck as he said this, causing you to tilt your head back as he suckled at it lightly, but his eyes were strictly on wonwoo.
"uh-huh," you breathed out, clearly not even processing what mingyu had said, just riding on the sensitivity your body was probably feeling after two intense orgasms, but wonwoo wanted to give you a third. his dick was incredibly hard by now, having only been able to grind against the mattress as he made you cry with his tongue. he needed your cunt again, but he wasn't too sure how to go about it.
it seemed that wonwoo's eyes might've given him away, as they were glued directly to your form, taking in how shiny your skin was due to the perspiration. he was beginning to become addicted the sight of your tits rising up and down with your heavy breaths, begging for a warm mouth to encompass them. so that's what he did. he closed the short gap between your bodies and leaned down to suckle at your tits, starting off lightly as if to tease you. he knew you were still sensitive, which caused him to relish on the soft cries and sighs of pleasure you were letting out at his kitten-licks against your nipples. there was no prettier sound than your whine of pleasure as he pressed his teeth against your nub, pulling at it lightly. you were now receiving love bites from your boyfriend who was sitting sitting right behind you, all the while wonwoo was worshiping your tits. wonwoo felt this was right. he felt that you deserved the utmost pleasure, and if that took form in the pair of them taking turns to have you, then so be it.
even as he enjoyed the taste of your skin against his tongue, the thought of your cunt wrapped against him once more wouldn't leave him, so he took a leap and spoke up, locking eyes with his best friend once more, "gyu, can i-"
"want her again, hyung? i understand. i would too," his friend smirked, clearly proud that at the end of the day, you were all his, and whether or not wonwoo got to have you again was up to him, "i'll let you have her again. but just like this. wanna keep her in my arms as she falls apart."
the angle was a bit uncomfortable, with you sitting on mingyu's lap as his back reclined against the bed frame, wonwoo on his knees in front of you. in order to fuck you, wonwoo had to partially allow his legs to sit atop mingyu's. at first he thought it'd be weird, but once his cock had made its way to its rightful place inside your warm walls, any thought of discomfort left him.
you both sighed in relief as he bottomed out, having missed the feeling even if you had only fucked about thirty minutes ago. you leaned back against mingyu, relishing on the way his hands fondled your tits and his mouth kissed at your neck as wonwoo thrusted against you.
"god ... you feel so fucking good. best fucking pussy i've ever had ..." wonwoo had realized the way in which you'd react at mingyu's dirty talk, wanting to also have a similar effect on you.
"hear that, baby? your nonu likes that pretty pussy. and you've been keeping it from him this whole time? that's so mean ... better make it up to him, huh, pretty?" mingyu playfully bit at your ear as he said this, making you throw your head back at being attacked by the two pussydrunk men.
"wa-want you to cum in me, nonu ... please! gyu won't mind. right, baby? wanna feel you ... please ..." wonwoo almost came at your words, having so badly wanted to fill you up just half an hour ago when mingyu had halted your movements before you could sit on him and ride him raw, requesting you use a condom due to his possessive nature over you. wonwoo wasn't sure what'd changed, but he wasn't going to test his luck by asking.
"whatever you want, princess. it's yours. just wanna make my girl feel good. you feel good, baby? you like his dick? is it better than mine, beautiful?", wonwoo could tell there was some sadistic side to this. mingyu seemed to enjoy causing you turmoil as he asked an impossible question in the midst of your impending orgasm, knowing your mind was half empty by the pleasure.
"n-no! like you both ... so good ... please ..." wonwoo had only had you this evening, but he could already see your tells when you were about to cum, and jesus was he glad. he didn't know how much longer he could last as he saw you mewl against his friend's chest, crying as his cock hammered into you while your boyfriend pinched and pulled at your nipples.
"cum for me, yeah? gonna cum with you, gorgeous. just need you to- fuck! n-need you to cum for me first," as much as wonwoo wanted to match mingyu on his art of dirty-talk, there was only so much he could do as you wrapped viciously around him, making him feel as if all air had been kicked out of his lungs, chasing after yet another intense orgasm triggered by you.
it took you a few extra minutes to catch your breath, both of you cumming almost simultaneously while mingyu instigated you to moan louder for his friend. wonwoo felt as if he entered an astral state, bliss completely taking over him not only at the sensations but at the pretty sight in front of him.
you both fell limp against each other after that, taking a quick minute to catch your breaths.
"no. this was not a one time thing, by the way. you're welcome in our bed anytime," mingyu finally broke the silence, - sans the heavy breathing - answering the question wonwoo had posed earlier.
"yeah, we've talked about it before ... you're welcome in our bed whenever. if you want, that is!" now it was your turn, doing the best you could to muster out an entire sentence through your lack of breath.
wonwoo just laid there, smile forming on his face. yeah, he was going to enjoy this new dynamic with his best friend and his pretty girl.
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macfrog · 8 months
Text
ride it, cowgirl cowboy like me chapter ten
hey dudes. anyone up for some dbf? i seriously can't thank you guys enough for all the love y'all show this series. blows my mind every time. i have been super excited for this chapter for a WHILE. might be my fave so far. who knows. you can grab chapters 1-9 on my masterlist and also my ao3 if ur feeling fancy. love u all sm!!!!!! ✨💘💫
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pairing: dbf!joel x fem!reader
summary: joel picks you up from a girls’ night. you’ve plans for when you get home
warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) reader isn't an astrology girlie (sorry), more pining beCAUSE, alcohol consumption + a mention of the devil’s lettuce, very quick bit of unwanted touching, even quicker bit of protective joel, soft!joel, softdom!joel, one tiny mention of daddy, protected piv sex this time (feeling conservative slutty max will return), reader rides him into the sunset, age gap (reader is 23, joel is 48), cursing
word count: 6.7k
series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist
You lazily drag yourself over and over Joel’s dick, each stroke drawing you nearer and nearer to your high. When your body starts to falter, you feel him shift, and open your eyes to see him leaning over to the nightstand. His fingers grip the rim of the black cowgirl hat you’d worn that night. He lies back, flat against the mattress, and reaches up, placing the hat on top of your head. You smile. Joel speaks in a low, gentle, but commanding whisper. “There you go, cowgirl. Show me how it’s done.”
You never believed much in the power of the universe. Astrology, moons, manifestation. Whatever. None of it ever really meant much to you. You knew your star sign, knew which cool little symbol resembled you, and that was about it. Everything past that was…confusing and, frankly, a little overwhelming.
However.
If the universe were to send you a sign, one huge, fluorescent, multi-colored, in-your-face sign, that it was on your side…this weekend might just be it.
Your dad’s downstairs, finishing up packing for his work trip. His departure is imminent. Sarah’s been in Nashville since last night. A series of texts she sent you at 3AM riddled with spelling errors and heart emojis tell you she’s been having a pretty good time so far.
You are Joel are…alone. All by yourselves. For a whole…twenty hours.
Can’t have it all, I guess.
Your eyes skim down the texts you sent him this morning, texts he is yet to reply to.
You: Merry Christmas!!!
You took his non-reply for confusion – he is almost fifty, maybe he doesn’t get the joke? It’s a pretty lame joke, anyways. Very lame. If your thumb hovers over the send button before you press it, it’s probably not that great a joke. And your thumb had most definitely hovered. So, you’d followed it up.
You: As in, today’s the day
You: I don’t mean it’s actually Christmas
You: I mean like, happy ‘we’re finally gonna be alone again’ day
You: Never mind
“Hello?” Anna’s voice cuts through your train of thought. “Are you even listening to me?”
You drop your phone, shaking your head clear of Joel. “Yep. Sorry. Just didn’t catch that last part. You froze.”
The image of her on your – pretty fucking dusty – laptop screen rolls its eyes, knowing you’re lying. “I don’t know whether to go with the pink or the black boots,” she says.
“Ain’t your dress yellow?”
Her head falls into her hands. She throws herself down onto her bed and slides her laptop closer. “That was, like, ten minutes ago. I’m goin’ with the pink strappy one now.”
“Pink does say rodeo.”
“Fuck you,” she snaps through a giggle. “Remind me what you’re wearin’, again.”
“Black hat, black boots, black dress.”
“You’re so boring.”
“Thanks. Really looking forward to our night out.”
Anna snorts and then stands back up, strides over to her closet and resumes rummaging. “Black jacket, too?” she calls over her shoulder.
“Uhuh,” you reply, glancing back down to your phone. “Although – it has rhinestones. And tassels. Not so boring after all, huh?”
Anna’s silence drags your eyes from the text thread back to your laptop screen. She’s frozen in place, twisted around with a dress in her hands, jaw on the floor. “Show it to me. Now.”
“Hold on,” you roll over and off your bed, your shoulder stiff from the position you’d been lying in, “I think I left it downstairs.”
“Tell your dad I say hey!”
You pad down the carpeted stairs in your socks, toward the sunlit hallway.
“Dad, have you seen my– Oh, fuck.”
As you round the corner at the bottom of the stairs, glancing over your left shoulder to the front door, your chest knocks into something hard. Steady. Strong.
Something you recognize the feel of before you’ve given him a proper look.
“Mind your step, baby,” Joel says, and your heart leaps.
“What the fuck are you doin’ here?” you whisper, peering around his body to look for your dad.
“He’s out front,” Joel tells you, then takes your shoulder and reels you in against his chest. “’m just here to help ‘im with his GPS.”
He plants a kiss on the top of your head and gives you a squeeze. Your head rests safely on his chest, arms link at his back. If you didn’t have plans tonight, and if your dad wasn’t, like, ten feet from you guys right now, you’d never let him go. Just follow him around, vice grip around his waist, surrounded by the smell and feel of him.
Not that that means anything. You’d do other stuff, too. You’re not…you know.
Your dad’s voice streams in through the open door and Joel releases you.
“It ain’t for workin’, Joel, I’m about to throw it at the f– Hey, kiddo.”
“Hey. What’s the matter with your GPS?”
You lean in to the tiny device in his hands. Joel’s elbow comes up to rest on your shoulder.
“Just won’t connect to the car. Every time I plug it in, it just…” He lifts his hands, screen loose in his fingers, and hands you a bewildered look.
You look at him, expressionless. “Why don’t you just use your phone?”
“Because I paid almost a hundred bucks for this thing, and I’ll be damned if I’m– Alright,” he stops himself, eyes shutting in exasperation, “I already explained this to him. I ain’t justifyin’ myself to the two of you.”
Joel’s laughing behind his hand, pretending to scratch his nose when your dad stalks off to the kitchen and throws the device down, snatching the instructions off the table.
The pair of you follow, both still trying to swallow your laughter. Joel wanders around the table and sits down beside your dad, fumbling with the screen. You dive into the coat closet at the bottom of the stairs and fish out your bejeweled, tasseled jacket.
“You lookin’ forward to your girls’ night?” Joel asks, eyes flitting up and down the leather jacket in your hands.
“Mhm,” you reply, opening your mouth to continue when your dad butts in.
“S’posed to be a girls’ night, but that boy Sam’s crashin’ it, ain’t he?”
“Well, we asked him.” You shrug. “It’s his night off.”
Your dad scoffs, shaking his head to Joel, who looks up to you with a confused expression. “’s the big deal with that?”
“Oh, wise up, Miller. He’s only goin’ ‘cause of…” He wags a finger in your direction, and a smirk peels across Joel’s lips.
“Is he, now?”
“Uhuh,” your dad replies, intense stare still on the instructions in front of him. “Makes no damn sense. I plugged it in using the cable they gave me in the box. Stupid thing…”
You shake your head to Joel, who’s still looking at you, bemused. He knows you and Sam are just friends. Also knows your dad is the most oblivious theorist to walk the planet. Just aiming his gun at the wrong target, is all.
“I’m gonna let you two get back to…that,” you say, turning to head back upstairs. “Anna says hi, by the way.”
Your dad’s eyebrows rise once, his eyes never lifting from his GPS. “Hi, Anna.”
“Hey, Anna,” Joel echoes, smirk on his lips.
“Not to you,” you throw back, hopping up the first step. You hear his chuckle as you disappear.
----------
Anna’s reaction to your jacket in person matches that over Facetime: a deafening squeal. A squeal which she repeats almost every damn time she sees you throughout the night.
“So – fucking – cute!” she exclaims for the fifth time, fingers dancing through the tassels. “And it goes so well with your hat.”
You sip on your cocktail, nodding enthusiastically, pushing your eyebrows up underneath the brim of the black cowgirl hat on your head. Trying to match her energy. Your mind’s elsewhere.
Joel texted you a few hours ago. Told you to have a good night, said something about Sam, but you were stood right next to the dude, so you quickly locked your phone and slipped it back into your clutch.
Now, standing with your back against the wall of Franks, watching Sam play pool with Eve, you feel safe enough to read over the message.
Joel: Have fun baby. Be safe. Tell Sam good luck from me.
You squint at the screen, pulling it away from your face and leaning back in to read it over. Good luck? The fuck does he mean –
You: Good luck??
He replies almost instantly.
Joel: Yeah. Good luck winning you over. Took me, what, a week?
Oh, fuck off. You roll your eyes and throw your phone facedown onto the table where Anna and Kara sit, about twenty minutes deep into a conversation you missed the beginning of.
Your attention turns to the room before you – brick-walled, metal dome lightshades hanging over each pool table. Glass-paneled door to your left leading back through to the main bar. For being a tiny bar on a backstreet, Frank’s is pretty lively. There are bodies everywhere, bumping by each other, drunken arms slung over shoulders, hips swaying with the soft rock song blasting from out front.
You imagine your dad here with Joel, maybe Hank and Bill, too. Playing pool, beer bottles resting on the felt while they take their shot. Or sat on the rooftop, sipping on a whiskey. Talking about you and Sarah. What does Joel say about you when you’re not around?
And what does he want to say, but can’t, ‘cause it’s your dad? What does he think, and bite back when it bubbles to the surface?
Your straw gargles, slurping up the last few sips of your drink. You lean over to Anna and Kara, holding your empty glass up.
“Another?”
They both shake their heads, and you nod, turning on your own back to the bar.
You squeeze between two older women, both dressed smart and sharp. One of them – clutching a Manhattan – shifts out of the way as you pass.
“…one more conversation with him about squash,” she tells her companion, “and I am gonna blow my brains out…”
You edge over to the bar and slot into a free space, propping your elbows up on the wood. One of Sam’s coworkers – her name escapes you – notices you and shuffles over, smiling sweetly.
“How you doin’?” she asks, running a damp cloth inside a tumbler.
“Good,” you reply. “Could I just get a Bud, please?”
“Sure thing,” she says, and reaches behind to grab one. You slide her a note and she hands you change, and then you’re on your way back to the pool room.
As you slink by the two women, a weight knocks into your shoulder, almost sending your beer flying out of your hand.
“Sorry,” a rough voice sputters on your left, and you glance in its direction. Some broad dude in a tight t-shirt.
“’s fine,” you mumble, clutching your hat; a smell of weed choking your throat.
He passes by behind you, one hand lingering a little too long on your waist, and you saunter back over to Anna and Kara.
“That dude stinks, right?” Anna whispers behind a cupped hand, and you snort.
“He smells like he’s having a good night.”
“We’re talking about Romeo and Juliet over there. We’re basically third, fourth, and fifth wheeling,” Kara says, nodding over to Sam and Eve, who’re finished their game of pool and have now graduated to darts.
“I don’t…think that’s a thing.”
“Eve asked me if Sam was single earlier,” Anna says, lifting her straw to her red lips.
“What?” Kara spits out, choking on her drink. “Eve has a boyfriend!”
Anna giggles. “He’s kinda an ass, anyway. Look at them, they’re so sweet.”
“You say sweet, I hear morally wrong.”
“Who says it’s morally wrong?” you chirp, alcohol pushing the words over your lips before your brain’s had time to stop them. Your fingers clutch your phone, still laying on the table where you left it. “You?”
“Uh, it’s cheating, dude. What if Nick found out?”
“’s not that big a deal,” you reply, phone screen lighting your face in a blue hue, “they’re just having fun.”
Anna points to you, lifting her glass. “Here’s to havin’ fun, I guess.”
Kara lifts her own reluctantly and they clink, but you’re distracted. Already typing a message to Joel. Bored. Drunk. Morally wrong.
You: What you doing?
Joel: Watching TV. What you doing?
You: What ya watvhin ?
Joel: None of your business. Go get another drink. Looks like you’re not drunk enough.
You lift your head with a giggle, almost ready to turn your phone around to Anna and Kara and say, look what the dude I’m sleeping with just text me. And then, thankfully, your good sense kicks in and you bring the screen closer to your chest.
You: Kinda bored. Wanna come home now please
Bored, horny. It all means the same.
Joel says he’ll be at Frank’s in twenty minutes. You rest your chin on your palm and watch as Sam cheers Eve for hitting bullseye.
“I think they’re cute,” you whisper.
Anna and Kara are already preoccupied, taking photos of one another across the table. Kara leans into you and you smile, flash blinding your hazy eyes for a few minutes afterward. A few more pictures, couple boomerangs of your glasses cheersing, and then your phone’s vibrating.
Joel: Outside. No rush.
That last part is where he’s wrong. There most definitely is a rush, and it’s in the form of the heat that starts to pool between your legs.
“Alright,” you shimmy off your barstool and stretch your back. “My ride’s here.”
“What?” Anna almost screams, her hand slapping down on the table. “You’re leavin’?”
You nod. “Sorry, babe.”
“Don’t babe me, traitor. It’s, like, midnight.”
“Uh, it’s, like, almost 2AM. I’m tired. I don’t know how y’all do it.”
She sighs, conceding, and agrees to walk with you to the front door. Kara and Eve stop off by the bar to grab another drink. Sam holds the door open for you and Anna and you’re hit by a wave of cold night air, instantly cooling your hot, sweaty skin.
“Is that…Mr. Miller?” Anna asks, mouth falling wide open.
You glance down the street and notice his black truck, parked up by the curb. “Mhm,” you reply, “my dad’s out of town, so he’s picking me up.”
“Can he take me home, too?”
Sam snickers. “Wow, Anna. That’s just…Wow.”
She shrugs, lips closing around her straw as she stares at Joel’s truck. Something inside you lurches at the idea of Joel sitting there, his eyes glued on you, watching everything you do, everyone around you. And then again at the thought of Anna and her doting gaze on him.
“Alright, I guess that’s my cue to skip.”
Anna pouts. “One more drink?”
“I’m good, thanks,” you scoff, patting her head affectionately. I got business to attend to.
You give her a quick kiss on the cheek and Sam wraps an arm around your shoulder, giving it a squeeze before you’re wandering off toward Joel’s truck.
“Hey.” Something – someone – hooks around your elbow, and you turn back. It’s that same guy who stank of weed.
“Hi,” you reply, as sweet as you can, but trying to loosen his grip.
“Saw you inside, you out with friends?”
“Mhm. I’m just leavin’, my–”
“Few of us are headed upstairs. You wanna come?”
You glare at him a few seconds, before yanking your arm from his grasp. “Nah, no thanks. I’m leaving. Have a good night.”
You stagger off, feeling his eyes on you as you go. Joel’s truck headlights switch on, dazzling your eyes, and you quickly click around to the passenger side, throwing yourself in beside him.
Joel doesn’t say hey, doesn’t squeeze your thigh, doesn’t even look at you when you settle into the seat. Just asks –
“Who’s that kid?”
“Uh…not sure. Bumped into ‘im in the bar.”
“He give you trouble?”
“No,” you lean over the console, pulling your seatbelt over your body, and flash him a tipsy grin, “thought that was my job. Givin’ trouble.”
Joel doesn’t reply. Doesn’t take his scowl off the dude outside Frank’s, either. Your eyes meander across to his hand, locked in a tight fist around the wheel. Your smile drops.
“Joel. It’s fine. Can we go?”
When you lift a hand to the crook of his elbow and he feels your warmth on his skin, he tears his gaze away and it lands on you. Soft, gentle. His lip isn’t curled anymore. His brows lift.
His eyes watch your lips as you whisper the words to him.
“Want you to take me home.”
“’s go, pretty girl.”
----------
Joel refuses, no matter how many times you ask, how hard you bat your eyelashes, how many promises you make, to stop by a drive thru.
“Please?” you ask one last time before he’s pulling in to his neighborhood.
He shakes his head. “Look at that, we’re already home.”
“I ain’t takin’ no for an answer, Miller, not until the engine’s off. We’re still driving.”
He doesn’t reply. Just pulls up in his drive, cuts the engine, and looks at you. Shrugs. “Oops.”
“Fuck you,” you groan, sliding down in your seat. “I’m starvin’.”
“Make you a big breakfast in the mornin’, how’s that sound?”
“Wanted a Big Mac, but whatever.”
Your fingers fumble for the door handle, clicking it open. You roll out of the truck and stroll around to meet Joel at the driver’s side. He snakes an arm around your shoulders, steadying you as you walk up his porch steps and into the house.
“I’m fine,” you murmur, glancing around his living room.
“Alright,” he says, tossing his keys and kicking his boots off.
Your eyes settle on the TV screen, paused. Probably around the time you text him. There’s a crowded hospital room onscreen, doctors in dark blue scrubs, all surrounding someone lying on a bed, someone who looks pretty familiar…
“Is that…fuckin’…Grey’s Anatomy…?”
Joel chuckles, peeling your jacket from your shoulders.
“That’s Meredith! When she–”
“She fell in the damn river,” Joel mutters, placing the tasseled leather over the back of his couch. “Derek had to go in after her. Intense stuff.”
“Right? I told you it was good!” You smack his arm. “I can’t believe you’re watchin’ it without me.”
“I ain’t watchin’ it,” he protests, “it was just on, ‘n I needed something to keep me awake. I’m still rooting for Meredith ‘n George.”
“We can watch it from the beginning.”
“Yeah?”
You nod, moving over to him. “And then I can be over here all the time, and you can make me all the grilled cheese I want, and we can lie in bed and…do stuff.” Your chin rests on his chest, flashing him a toothy grin. Hands swinging in his at your side.
Joel’s eyes narrow, but there’s a smirk on his lips. “You’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk. I had a couple drinks. I’m not drunk.”
“H’many fingers am I holdin’ up?” Joel asks, raising his fist. You punch it away.
“Ha-ha,” you say tonelessly, and wander away from him.
“Baby,” he calls you from behind. Sure, you’re tipsy, and he can be a cocky asshole – especially when he has to take care of you, but that’s a sound you’ll never get tired of hearing. Baby. You’re his darlin’, his sweet girl.
You spin around, very nearly losing your footing, and he’s standing with an arm out, ready for you to take.
You smile dumbly. Meander over, and take his strong hand in both of yours, wrapping your fingers around two of his to let him reel you in against his body.
“C’mon,” he whispers, as you lean against his frame. “Let’s get you upstairs.”
You follow him up, knowing where he’s leading you. You’ve spent more time in there the last few weeks than you have your entire life.
His room is cool, not cold, but comfortable. It’s Joel all over; the muted colors, the décor, the smell that calms you as soon as you stumble over the threshold.
He sits you down on the edge of his bed and kneels, pulling your boots off one by one.
You giggle.
“You laughin’ at me?”
“You’re like my own personal tr…No, not trainer. Wait. Personal ch–”
“Chef?” he says, snorting. “Not chef. Try again, soberhead.”
“Oh, I dunno.” You throw your arms up as he sits your boots against the wall, then stands and takes your hat off.
“This,” he says, placing it on the nightstand at your side of the bed, “is very cute. I like it.”
“I’m cute, too, y’know,” you whisper, pouting.
He smiles, and leans down to give you a quick kiss on the lips, pointer finger under your chin.
“The cutest.”
“Ha!” you roar. Joel twists around you to undo the zipper at the back of your dress. “Joel Miller thinks I’m the cutest. Take that, Anna…”
He laughs. When he unzips you, he pulls the dress off your bare chest and down your legs. You don’t shy away, used to the idea now of him seeing you naked. Used to the idea of him seeing you in any vulnerable state; drunk, or naked, or in a sobbing mess on day two of your period.
You notice, even though you’re a tad dizzy with what alcohol is left in your system, that his eyes linger on your panties a moment before he turns and grabs a tee from a chair.
And something inside you ticks.
“Joel?”
He’s pulling the shirt over your head. It smells like him. Intoxicates you much more and much quicker than any drink you could order from Frank’s.
“Mhm?”
You feed both arms through the sleeves, swallowing the question you were about to ask. He’s standing up now, telling you to get into bed.
He walks over to his dresser and begins removing his own clothing. He only sleeps in boxershorts. Your eyes track him as he yanks his t-shirt up over his toned shoulders; fingers undo his belt, unzip his jeans. Everything is discarded to the side for now; he has something more pressing to attend to.
His best friend’s daughter, laying in his bed, a pool of wet forming in her panties.
He just doesn’t know it yet.
As he slips under the covers beside you, you pull off your underwear in one quick movement. Joel doesn’t seem to notice, or so you think; his arms immediately take hold of your waist and pull you against his body. You’ve gotten into the habit of sleeping pressed against his torso, his thigh between your legs. Joel settles comfortably with you draped over him, and lets out a deep sigh.
“Joel?” you whisper again into the darkness, growing braver.
“Hm?” he replies, starting to fall asleep.
You toss ideas over in your head. None of them good, you’re sure, but you’re getting desperate. How he can’t feel your damp core on his thigh, you’ve no idea.
But then, maybe he can? Joel doesn’t miss anything, especially not where you and your…arrangement are concerned. Can he feel you? Is he deliberately ignoring it?
Maybe he has something up his own sleeve?
“I…was just wondering…”
“Wondering what, darlin’?” His voice is muffled, spoken through unmoving lips. You glance up at his face. His eyes are closed.
You grow more desperate.
“…wondering what your body count is?”
You ask it as innocently as you can, your voice wavering on the words body count. It gets him, though, as his eyes blink open a few seconds after you say it.
“I ain’t tellin’ you that. Go to sleep.” He closes them again.
“I wanna know.”
He ignores you.
“Joel,” you moan.
He calls you by name now, and you’re not sure if you’re pissing him off or turning him on – or both.
“Go. To. Sleep.”
“I’m not tired, though. Not yet.”
In response, Joel lets go of his hold on you and rolls over without another word. It’d sting if you weren’t soaking wet right now, and didn’t have a strong hunch he was hardening under the sheets.
“Joooel…” you whine, sitting up on your elbow. No use.
You take hold of his shoulder and tug him back toward you, rolling him onto his back. Like a deadweight, he remains frozen.
“Ugh,” you groan, and drag yourself on top of him, knees either side of his waist, ass hovering. When you sit back onto him, your core lining up with his crotch, your suspicions are proven right.
He’s hard.
Not as hard as he can get, as you’d like him to be, as you’ve felt him before…but he’s hard.
“Joel…” you mewl into the darkness, starting to grind your bare center over his boxers. The friction feels good, so you apply more pressure.
“If you don’t stop that,” Joel’s voice finally grumbles, “I’ll be sleepin’ downstairs.”
“Sex in the living room sounds good to me.”
His eyes open. “We,” one hand comes up to point between the both of you, as if he doesn’t expect your sobering self to understand which pairing he means, “are not having sex. No sex tonight.”
You sigh, shoulders dropping dramatically.
“Huff all you want, baby, it is not happening.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because you’re a few drinks too deep and it’s three in the morning. I’m tired, it’s been a long night waitin’ for you, I–”
“So let me make it up to you. I ain’t even drunk anymore.”
“No?”
“Nuh-uh. Could count any number a’ fingers you put in front of me.”
“Funny.” He closes his eyes.
“Joel.” You drag your hips again. If anything, he’s harder than he was when you first sat down on him. “I had a few drinks, I’ve sobered up. C’mon…”
You bend your waist and lower yourself to align your lips with the side of his head, peppering the skin under his ear with soft kisses.
“I wanna ride you, daddy.”
This gets him. His eyes open again, staring up at the ceiling. His hands slowly come up to rest on your hips.
“Don’t– That’s low, even for you, kid.”
You giggle and straighten up. When your hands lightly trace down his chest, onto his midriff and follow the trail of hair to his boxers, he doesn’t stop you. Just watches from beneath hooded lids, tensing at each point your fingers touch.
You raise your eyebrows, watching his expression for any sign to stop, and it never comes. He remains in place when your fingertips hook around the waistband of his underwear, slowly pulling down.
Joel breathes in deep when you reveal the tip of his cock, springing up to rest on his lower stomach. You feel your core clench. If he’s not inside you in the next five minutes, you might scream.
Well, you’ll be screaming either way.
You look back into his eyes and tilt your jaw, asking for permission.
“Go on,” he whispers.
Your hands take him eagerly, pumping up and down his shaft, and his head falls back onto the pillow with pleasure.
“Uhuh,” you mumble, focusing on his solid dick, but desperate for more. You give him a gentle squeeze and a groan passes his lips, his grip tightening on your body.
You let go of him and grind your hips along his length, folds coating his shaft in your wetness. Joel’s humming, watching as you pull yourself up and down him.
Then, you lean forward, and your hands take hold of him again. You give him a couple more strokes, eliciting a deep groan, and then line his bare cock up at your entrance, practically foaming at the mouth to sink down on him already.
“Woah, woah,” Joel takes hold of your wrist, “slow down, cowgirl. I gotta get a condom.”
You huff as he leans over to his nightstand and opens the drawer. “Don’t want one, Joel, I’m on the pill.”
“No way, baby,” he says through a chuckle, silver wrapper in his fingers. “We already did that, one too many times.”
“So just pull out?”
“Nope.”
You sigh, frustrated.
Joel holds the packet out to you, smirk on his face like he doesn’t expect you to take it.
So, you do.
You steal it from him and tear the wrapper, fishing the rubber out between your two fingers. Pinching the top, you roll it down his shaft and pump up and down for good measure.
“Ready?” you ask, head tilted, cocky smile on your lips.
“Wait, wait,” he whispers, shoulders lifting off the mattress. He lifts the hem of your shirt, telling you, “Off,” before pulling it over your head, exposing your bare breasts.
He stares you down; legs wide open, straddling him, completely naked, nipples hardened, figure silhouetted against the slivers of light peeking through the shades from the streetlights outside. You’ve never felt so confident, mounted on top of Joel fucking Miller.
His eyes roll back and his head falls against the pillow. “Fuckin’ – knock yourself out, baby.”
You steady yourself with one hand on his chest, the other taking hold of his cock and guiding it to your entrance. You push his head through your folds a couple times, and Joel hisses at the feeling, before you sink down.
You stop after the tip the first time, but it draws the same reaction from you both. Joel groans even louder than before, and you moan as you push yourself back up.
Then, without warning, you sink the whole way down.
He’s so deep it brings tears to your eyes, so big that he’s stretching you out more than you thought possible, hitting all the right spots already before you’ve even begun.
Joel’s eyes are screwed shut, his grip on your hips digging into your skin so tight it almost hurts. His jaw is tight, holding back what you can only imagine are the neediest moans he could sound.
So, you decide to draw them from him.
You lean forward and begin bouncing, feeling his thickness pull out and push back into you, both hands on Joel’s chest now for balance. You’re whimpering, the burn of his cock stretching your tight cunt so good and borderline painful at the same time, but you don’t stop.
“Good girl, good fuckin’ girl,” Joel moans, opening his eyes to watch you ride his dick. “’attagirl, just like that.”
“Joel…” you cry, letting him bottom out each time, feeling his balls slam into your ass with each bounce.
“Yeah? You like that? Tell me, baby, use your words.”
“So – good – Joel – oh!” you shout.
“Such a good fuckin’ girl for me, huh?”
You fight against the urge to close your eyes; the pleasure between your legs and the knot beginning to tighten in your stomach are all you can see, hear, feel, but you want to watch him some more. You want to see what you do to him.
You lean forward even further, moving your hands to the pillow either side of his head, so you’re directly above him now. One of Joel’s hands comes to the back of your head, pulling you down until your foreheads are together, moans escaping your mouths only to be inhaled by the other.
Joel speaks to you quieter, through gritted teeth.
“Like ridin’ me, do ya? Like the way it feels?”
“Mhm,” you moan back, and he brings a hand down to slap your ass. You yelp. “Fuck…”
“You look so good, baby, so good. Such a fuckin’ whore for me, hm?”
Another stinging spank pulls a whine from you so filthy, so loud that you’re sure the neighbors will hear, even at this hour. Joel smirks back, resting his hand back on your hip, where he has a grip of you.
Then, he bucks his own hips, pushing into you deeper than before, so deep you see stars. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan, panting through the searing pain so good that you never want it to end.
“Joel – I’m gonna – fuck, I’m gonna cum!”
“That’s it, sweet girl, cum all over me. Let go, baby, I’m here.”
That does it. The coil snaps, your walls clench. Joel lets out a guttural moan as you throw your head back and ride him through your orgasm. He coos you through it, squeezing your hips, whispering, That’s my girl, doin’ so good, baby as your body rocks back and forth on his cock.
When you come back down to earth, your lids heavy and breathing staggered, you swear your body can’t take anymore. You feel so fucked out that you’re not sure you can sit up straight on top of Joel.
But he’s always been able to read your mind, and this is no different. He pulls himself up and into you, propped up with one strong hand on the mattress behind his back, the other wrapping around your waist. His cock is still buried deep inside you.
“Joel…” you whimper pathetically. “Can’t do it anymore…”
“That’s okay, baby, we’re gonna do this one together, alright? I got you. Can you do that for me? Just one more?”
You link your arms around his neck and lean into him; his strong form doesn’t shift, just takes on your weight and keeps the both of you upright as he starts to bounce you on his length again.
You’re overstimulated; your cunt swollen, fucked-out, drenched in cum, but Joel makes you feel so good that it’s impossible to let him stop. Your arms pull him in closer to your chest to steady yourself, and his groans echo in your ear.
“Good girl, that’s– that’s it, so fuckin’ tight for me, pretty girl.”
When it all becomes too much to take – Joel’s hand squeezing your waist, your clit rutting against the bottom of his stomach, his fucking cock buried so deep inside you that you swear you can feel him splitting you open – you push him back down onto the bed.
Once when you still lived in New York you read something in a Cosmo about spelling the word ‘coconut’ with your hips when riding a guy. You’d tried it a couple times with hookups, and it’d never done anything for you. They’d never done anything for you.
But here you are, nearing your second orgasm, on top of someone making such a mess of you that you brain can hardly compute to spell coconut, never mind your hips being able to round the shape of the word.
You lazily drag yourself over and over Joel’s dick, each stroke drawing you nearer and nearer to your high. When your body starts to falter, you feel him shift, and open your eyes to see him leaning over to the nightstand.
His fingers grip the rim of the black cowgirl hat you’d worn that night. He lies back, flat against the mattress, and reaches up, placing the hat on top of your head. You smile. Joel speaks in a low, gentle, but commanding whisper.
“There you go, cowgirl. Show me how it’s done.”
It’s all you need. It’s all it takes, by this point.
You brace yourself against his chest again, positioning yourself just right, and bounce on him until your vision starts to blur.
The noises slipping out of Joel’s mouth each time your bodies connect at the base of his cock push you closer and closer; every groan and whimper which passes his lips makes you sink your hips down even harder, pushing him deeper and deeper with every bounce.
“So – fuckin’ – big – inside me,” you slur, and Joel moans in response.
When he takes your hips in his hands again, you know he’s there. He’s just waiting for you to fall first.
You give in to him, feeling yourself close around his length, throwing your head back in pleasure as your second orgasm washes over you, igniting every inch of your body.
Joel’s groans meet yours as you lean forward again, slowly rolling your hips to coax him through his own orgasm. Watching him release, buried deep inside, he looks so good that you feel like you could cum again just at the sight.
You feel his cock start to go limp inside you and when he opens his eyes, panting, you smile sweetly at him.
“Fuck, darlin’.”
You giggle, hips still driving gently against his. “Good?”
“So good, baby, did so well. You’re gonna be the death of me,” he whispers with a trembling breath, taking your waist in both hands and giving it a tight squeeze. You roll to the side, letting his cock slip out of you, condom full of his seed.
You tumble onto the mattress beside him, both heaving, moaning messes. Your chests rise and fall in sync, fingers tangling and untangling by your sides.
Then Joel gets up, and wanders over to the bathroom, where you watch him through the open door as he pulls the filled rubber from his soft dick. He bins it, then runs a facecloth under the faucet, dabbing it across his own forehead as he makes his way back over to you.
You can’t hide your grin as you watch his naked form approach; tan lines where his t-shirt must end, dark hair decorating his arms, legs, chest, the base of his cock. He sits at the edge of the bed, arm outstretched with the flannel in hand.
You go to take it from him, but he doesn’t loosen his grip. Just pats it over your face gently, soft gaze on yours, your fingers intertwined around his wrist. Your eyes fall closed, the cold cloth a relief against your warm, sweaty skin.
“Feel nice?” he whispers.
You nod in response. Your chest swells at how soft he’s being, how tender. When he stands to throw the flannel back into the sink, you almost find yourself reaching out to hold him down.
He climbs over you, springing back down onto the mattress with a heaving sigh.
You prop yourself up and shimmy over, positioning yourself on top of Joel, chest-to-chest. He looks down and smirks, running a lazy hand across your cheek.
“You’re so good to me,” he mumbles.
You tilt your head with a smile and lay down on his chest. You can hear his heartrate slowly calming down. His fingers twist through your messy hair.
“I have no idea what you’re laced with,” he says, “but you got me.”
You smile. “Yeah?”
Joel nods. You shift positions, adjusting your aching hips safely between his thighs. “You hurtin’?” he asks.
You nod. “Mhm. But I like it. It’s you.”
Joel’s hands run through your hair and his fingertips trace your shoulders. His touch is so light it almost tickles. You turn your jaw and kiss the back of his hand.
“My dad gone, Sarah out, free house…” you mutter.
“Hm.”
“So, you invite your mistress over.” You lift your head, smirking at him.
Joel’s chest vibrates with laughter. “You ain’t my mistress.”
“Oh really? What am I, then?”
“I am not having this conversation at 4AM, kid. Ask me again tomorrow.”
You’d think of something to throw back at him, messing with him, but your entire body aches, and your heavy eyes are starting to fold closed with how sleepy you suddenly feel.
You pull Joel’s sheets over yourself, turning your back to him. Joel instantly follows suit, pulling up right behind you, your back tight to his chest, his thighs cupping the back of yours, then slipping one between your legs.
His arms lock around your torso under the sheets. Safe. Secure. Nothing can happen to you as long as he’s got you.
“Ten,” his voice mumbles against the back of your head.
You turn so your ear is pressed against his lips. “Huh?”
“Ten. That’s my number. Includin’ you.”
Oh.
He doesn’t ask to hear yours. You wouldn’t mind if he did, but he doesn’t. You don’t think he’s telling you to hear yours in exchange. He’s telling you because you asked. He’s telling you because, whether in attempt to turn him on or simply to know something about him that you didn’t before – something nobody else knows – it mattered to you.
He’s telling you because you matter to him.
You nuzzle back into him a little, a form of reply, and, as you start to fall asleep, you feel him place a gentle kiss to your ear.
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ilythena · 23 days
Note
Hi lovie! Your writing and blog aesthetics are incredible! I visit every morning to get some motivating energy. May I please make a request for Jack Hughes? May it please be with a girl who is quiet/introverted but not a pushover. She doesn't start conversations/speak much in public, but is chill with herself and doesn't waste her social battery with those she doesn't vibe with. If that makes sense so sorry! The plot can be anything you wish! Please change or ignore this I know it's odd and choppy.
𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒 || 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒
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★SUM Jack’s in love with his blunt girlfriend, and isn’t afraid to show that.
Fem!reader, as per requested the reader is quiet and doesn’t give two shits about it, use of y/n, poor Trevor getting ignored bad and then rutger taking his spot, ngl this was kinda hard to write cause I am literally the most friendly person ever, anon I love u thank u sm for this req I love soft Jack, hope I did this ask justice!
WC: 1.8K, not proofread 🐚
♪ GOOD DAYS - SZA
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“Still standing here?”
“Mhm.”
Tonight was great. You went with Jack to this beach party he was invited to and despite thinking you were gonna hate it, it was actually pretty fun. Though you would never admit that to him.
The warm air of summer brushes past you with a soothing coo of relaxation. The music from the party being distant in your ears; hearing chatter and the crashing of the waves in harmony.
“You don’t talk a lot, do you?” A boy says, one of Jack’s friends named “Trevor” or something—honestly you didn’t mean to forget but it just didn’t stick to you at the moment.
“Not really.” You say and then turn around to walk back into the crowd. After a few minutes of just wandering you bump into the chest of another person. “Excuse me-“
“Well hello pretty lady, you alone?” He says, and you lift up your head a little bit to see the gorgeous sight of your boyfriend, Jack. His smile widens as you two meet eyes and they crinkle at the side a little bit with how hard he’s smiling.
“Hmmm, not too sure if I am….” You tease and he wraps an arm around your waist to bring you closer to you. “Where’d you go? Outside?” nodding your head and bringing your arms to wrap around his neck you give him a small kiss
You two part slightly when a girl makes her way over to the two of you, not even sparing you a glance.
“Jacky! How are you-“ she stumbles—trying to purposefully trip herself into him, but only getting surprised when he grabs you and quickly moves the both of you out her way, causing her to fall flat on the floor.
A few people around her look down confusingly, and you mentally smile at her slightly embarrassed look. She quickly jumps back up to her feet and coughs a little to clear herself up.
“Um, anyways. How are you doing, Jacky?” She says, and looks at you for a second while her face shifts to displeased when she sees his arm around your waist.
“I’m fine. Me and my girlfriend, y/n, are doing pretty well-“ “Jack! Tell your brother he sucks at pool.” A tall brunette says with Luke trailing behind him with a grumbling smile “I do not suck! You definitely cheated!”
“Yeah okay Luke.” Your boyfriend snorts and the random girl is very swiftly pushed to the side while the two boys take over her spot in front of you.
“Hi y/n” Luke says and gives you a small hug while you smile at him in greeting. “Hi, I’m rutger! You can call me rut, Nice to meet you.” The boy takes out his hand and his demeanor is incredibly friendly, shooting him the same smile you gave to Luke “I’m y/n. You’re a pool expert?”
“Nah, but I could definitely beat you if you play like this dude over here.” He jokes while nudging over to Luke and he replies with a ‘so not true’
“You’re so on!” The two of you run over to the table, already joking around about which one of you would get which side.
“That’s new? She doesn’t really click with people like that…” Luke says and Jack nods, looking at the two of you. “It is rare, but sometimes it happens. Rutger has that younger brother vibe which is probably why they clicked so fast. Y/n has a soft spot for family.”
“Jack! Get over here! I am not having Luke as my partner again” “that’s my boyfriend!”
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“Why didn’t you tell me you were alone? I would have came too!”
“Rut, I like my alone time outside” you giggle, seeing him plop down on the seat next to you, making an ‘O’ shape with his mouth.
“Well, Jack was looking for you earlier. And Trevor was complaining that you didn’t like him?” “It’s not that I don’t like Trevor, I don’t really know him like that.”
“you don’t know him either!” A muffled voice comes from behind the glass window you’re in front of, turning around to see Trevor (apparently) and Jack looking at the two of you.
Jack grins, mouthing a ‘hi Baby’ to you while Trevor freezes and backs up from the window. “…a little creepy.” “I didn’t even know he was there.” Rutger laughs and you scoff
“He’s kinda right though, I only just met you at the party two days ago.” Rutger says, leaning back into his seat. “Yeah, but you give off like a friendly sibling vibe. Whoever that is gives me random dude vibes which is true cause he is.”
“Can you at least make an effort to learn my name? As Jack’s best friend I think I deserve some respect!“ Trevor whines and Jack opens the door, already tired of talking to you through the window. “you are not my best friend.” “Then who is?” “You are, obviously.” Jack says to you in response to your question.
“Y/n! Come here, I need help with my hair.” Ellen calls you over and you gently excuse yourself from the porch as the boys talk amongst each other.
A few minutes later, the same girl from last night slides into your spot and everyone stops talking. “Hey guys, what’s going on?” “Um, nothing much. Just waiting for y/n to get back I guess. Where did you come from?” Rutger says and she fakes confusion, purposefully ignoring his last question. “who’s y/n?” “My girlfriend. You saw her last night at the party.” Jack says and she furrows her brows.
“Oh, her? I talked to her outside too, not very friendly.” “Yeah, you just have to get close to her. Unless you’re Rutger apparently.” Trevor sighs and Rutger lets out a little laugh “I don’t know, she really seemed like she didn’t like me.” “She might warm up to you eventually.” Jack cuts through shortly, not wanting to leave a space where she could talk negatively about you.
He thanks everything when he sees you walking back up to them, another smile gracing his lips. “Your mom is literally the best Hughes.” “Should I take offense to that or no?” He jokes and you shrug.
“Hi.” The girl sitting in your seat says and you nod your head back in greeting. “Can I get a hi too?” “Hi Travis.” “My name is Trevor!” Giggling, you let out a small ‘oops’ and Trevor knows for a fact you’re messing with him now.
The girl eyes you down carefully, as if she’s trying to pick out a flaw while you stand there and look at something on your phone.
“Oh shit, we gotta go. Promised Luke I’d go with him to watch a movie. You wanna come, babe?” “Nah, I’m good. I’m probably just gonna relax.” “I can go.” The girl says with an exaggerated ear piercing voice, and Jack can’t help but cringe. “Um, Luke said guys night only. Bye! Bye babe.” He kisses you goodbye before shoving rutger and Trevor out and away so the girl couldn’t question him.
You stand there and watch while the boys pull out of the driveway, waving a goodbye and seeing them drive off. Eventually, the boys leave and it’s just you and this mystery girl here.
You move to go back inside, and she follows you from a distance.
Walking into the kitchen, you take out a pack of strawberries and wash them off before grabbing a cutting board and beginning to cut them into pieces, trying your best to ignore the weird girl behind you.
“Do you even like Jack?” She questions and you pause before turning around to look at her. “Who are you?” You say, before turning back to your strawberries. “I’m Kianna. I live next door. I don’t think you’re a good fit for Jack.” “Good thing I don’t care what you think then, Kianna.” She huffs and you slide your diced strawberries into a cup, moving to take ice cream out of the freezer and scoop it into a bowl.
“That’s rude.” “It’s not rude, I don’t know who you are. Why would I care about what you think if I don’t know you?” You respond, and place your strawberries on your ice cream before leaving to go upstairs into Jacks room. “You don’t want to get to know me?” “Why would I want to get to know someone who’s trying to steal my man?”.
You can hear Ellen open the front door when you disappear up the steps and slow down so you can hear their conversation.
“Oh! Kianna, honey… what are you doing in here?” Ellen says and she freezes “um, I was talking to Jack’s girlfriend and she just went upstairs.” “Oh, y/n! Isn’t she great? I just love her so much, such a sweetheart! Jack’s just so in love with her too.” Ellen says and you can feel the awkwardness radiating off of Kianna. “U-um, Mrs. Hughes, I’m gonna head home now. Bye.” She mumbles before making her way out the door.
You snicker before walking up into Jacks room and turning on the latest episode of your favorite murder tv series.
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You wake up to feel Jack laying down next to you, Arms wrapped around you and his body slightly squishing yours.
“Hey. Had a nice nap?” He buries himself into the back of your neck, smiling when he hears you giggling with a sigh.
“Was soo nice. You have fun at the movies with Luke and the others?” “Yeah. Was a great movie. Would’ve been better if you were there though.”
Silence is the only thing heard between you two. The tv doing all the talking you need to fill in the empty air.
“My mom said Kianna was in here earlier. She trouble you at all?” You roll onto your other side to face him properly and play with his hoodie. “Nah, she tried to intimidate me but it didn’t work.” “Intimidate you how?” “Tried telling me she didn’t think I was good for you or whatever, but I literally don’t even know that chick. Why would I care?”
Jack hums in agreement as he snuggles closer to you. “She’s just upset cause I’m not dating her. I’ve never liked her, but I’ve been nice because she’s like my summer neighbor or whatever.” You smile and nod in acknowledgment.
“I don’t care what she thinks. Like I said, I don’t know her.” “My mom secretly hates her too, but don’t tell her I told you that.” He whispers and you smile.
“I love you so much.” He mumbles into your neck and you sigh in contentment. “I love you too, J.” You two share a few kisses before you hear knocking on the door.
“Hey. Tell y/n her favorite Hughes brother just came home.” “Quinn!” “Hey! I’m here too!” “Shut up Luke!”
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princessbrunette · 25 days
Note
just thinkin about pope n innocent!reader,,, and her calling him daddy while he has her on her lap stuffing her w his fingers :( just thinking…
also, could i please be 📝 anon? :) i loovee ur writing
✧˖°.🩰✧˖°.
pope liked to reward good behaviour. he found positive reinforcement worked well with you, and was happy to use that to his advantage as it kept the two of you content.
if you were to make a good suggestion to the pogues, you were rewarded with something small and quiet as acknowledgement to your deed, like a kiss on the temple or a reassuring smile and nod. if you were to go out of your way to do something kind or helpful, like bringing him food when he’d forgotten to eat — or sewing up his shirt that got ripped on a pogue mission, you’d be rewarded with copious praise and affection, calling you his ‘good girl’ which seemed to be your favourite, melting like putty in his hands each and every time.
now these were things he did naturally, for nothing in return, purely because he wanted to. but it didn’t go unnoticed that the sweeter he was on his girl, the softer and more vulnerable you’d become — stripping you down to your most true self. he wanted you, wanted all of you— so he’d keep going, keep praising to work you out. you were popes favourite thing to study.
when you’d been consistently well behaved through the entire day, even when odds were against you — he’d often help you unwind with your favourite type of reward, having you on his lap with his long skilful fingers deep inside.
“i know, i know. how’s it feel when it rub you like this, hm? can you talk to me?” he used his softest tone on you, not the voice he uses to sark at jj or argue against john b’s outrageous plans. he was his softest, most relaxed with you — and he loved that you brought that out of him.
“i—i like it, m’gonna cum soon.” you wail but it’s muffled into the smooth skin of his shoulder muscle, the plane that had been bearing all of your pleased tears and sounds.
“thats good, bambie. gonna keep rubbing that pretty clit just like this okay?” he lilts his voice gently, tilting his head when you don’t respond, too focused on breathing out heavy breaths against him. he noses at your cheek, craning down to try and get your eyes on him. “okay?” he repeats and you screw your eyes shut, nodding.
“‘kay, daddy.” you release with a held breath. he’s kind of glad your eyes were shut, because it catches him off guard for a second, blinking down at you as he continues to work his fingers inside you, thumb resting over your button.
daddy.
he couldn’t say he was surprised that you were into that kind of thing, infact — jj had in a way predicted it in once when the two of them were out on the boat fishing. something along the lines of “nah dude she’s real sweet. i see why you like ‘er. got the whole innocent, ‘daddy please fuck me’ thing goin’ on, ‘ya know?” now at the time, pope had been too preoccupied with scolding jj over being vulgar about his girl to entertain the conversation, but now it was coming back to him and he realised he was right.
it definitely made sense. bad relationship with your own father which had wound you up in his arms— someone calm, nurturing, enforces gentle rules and guidance, teaches you new stuff. even away at college before he met you he was a magnet to a certain demographic of girl, one who needed a gentle demeanour and occasional firm hand.
he wracks his brain for what to say as he drops a long kiss to your forehead, blinking rapidly as thoughts fire off. he wants to please you, wants to be that for you— and for once he hadn’t done his ample research beforehand to really support you through it. he decides on something simple, trying it out.
“daddies right here, let it go for me, pretty girl.” he’s more of a natural than he realised, and as if he flipped some sort of switch— you gasp, clutching onto him hard as he feels you gush around his fingers in a water-fall like consistency.
you slur a bunch of nonsense against his skin as he shushes you kindly, ears pricking up and heat rising to his face and cock each time the word ‘daddy’ comes out muffled against his shoulder. if daddy was what you needed, daddy was what you’d get. he better get studying.
✧˖°.🩰✧˖°.
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mcdynamite · 11 months
Text
CWs: discussions of sexuality (particularly demisexuality, though Steve and Eddie don’t know a term for it at the time), VERY mild sexual context
Steve Harrington has had a lot of sex.
He's not, like, trying to brag about it, or anything. Frankly, he's not even sure it's something he would want to brag about in the first place. It's just an objective fact.
The sky is blue. The Earth is round. Water is wet.
And Steve Harrington has had a lot of sex.
Which is...well, a little bit bizarre, considering the fact that he's not entirely convinced he actually enjoys it most of the time.
At first, he chalks it up to inexperience. Everyone's first times were a little bit awkward, weren't they? Maybe everyone felt weird and a little bit off-kilter the first time someone touched them like that. Maybe everyone felt icky for hours afterwards, like something was just off. Steve had spent his childhood going to church on Sundays (at least, until he turned 10, and Richard and Susan decided he no longer needed luxuries like parents), so maybe it was just guilt.
That was a thing, right? Catholic guilt, or whatever? He'll get over it. He's sure of it.
Only...he's less sure of it several months later, when he still can't get rid of that stupid icky feeling, and he can never quite grasp what Tommy is talking about whenever the dude starts obsessing over wanting to fuck some pretty actress in whatever movie they’re watching. When he’s with a girl, he feels anxious the moment clothes start to come off, despite the fact that he wants this. He wants to have sex. He wants someone to touch him and make him feel good. He wants to do the same for someone else. But it always feels wrong.
The only part he really likes is what comes after, when he can wrap his arms around whatever girl he's with that week and just hold her - no more sex required, now that it's over and done with. That part feels good. Amazing, even. He loves having someone to cuddle up with - to make him feel less alone in his fucking mausoleum of a house. It's nice. It feels good.
He's pretty sure it's the only reason he keeps having sex in the first place. It's like a transaction. Steve gets the girls off, and in exchange, they stick around for a little while afterwards to fill the echoing silence of Steve's house with soft laughter and quiet words.
And sure...sometimes Steve sort of falls apart after they leave to get home before their curfews. Usually, it just leaves him feeling squirmy and anxious. But sometimes, when it's especially bad, Steve sits on the floor of the shower with his arms around his knees for ages and cries until the water gets cold, unable to wash the icky feeling away.
He knows he should stop doing this to himself, but God, he's so fucking lonely, and now he's made a reputation for himself. Now there are expectations, and if Steve has learned one thing from Richard Harrington, it's that living up to expectations is the most important thing in life.
So he keeps doing it. His technique gets better, despite how wrong he feels, and the girls keep coming. And Steve keeps wondering what the fuck is wrong with him - why he feels physically pleasured enough to come most of the time, but always hates himself afterwards.
Then, at the beginning of his junior year, he starts dating Nancy Wheeler.
He knows right away that this feels different from any of his other flings. Nancy is sweet, and smart, and just a bit of a firecracker, and Steve loves it. Even better, she doesn't try to get him into bed on their first date, or their second, or even their third. It's not until the pool party that things take a more intimate turn between them, and by then, Steve is smitten.
He waits for the ick to kick in while he caresses her and kisses her everywhere - waits for the feeling of weirdbadwrong to make itself known - but this time... it doesn't. This time, Steve looks down at his partner and is stunned by how beautiful she looks. It's never been like this with any of the other girls - he's never wanted any of them quite like this - and for the first time, Steve really, genuinely enjoys having sex.
There's no ick; no uncomfortable feeling in his belly that sort of makes him feel ill. There's just Nancy, who looks and sounds beautiful, and smiles at him as they doze off together afterwards. It's amazing. It's perfect.
Steve thinks that maybe he's normal, after all.
He should know better than to get his hopes up, by now.
The next year is a whirlwind of absolute insanity. There are monsters, and alternate dimensions, and little kids with honest-to-God superpowers, and funerals... and sex becomes the least of Steve's worries.
He and Nancy are only intimate a handful of other times, after that first night (it's hard to get in the mood when all either of them can think about is how the first time they did this, her best friend was dying), and despite everything else going on, the ick, at least, stays away. It seems to be proof that Steve isn't broken or weird. He just needed some time to get used to sex.
He realizes how wrong he is the first time he tries to hook up with someone after Nancy breaks his heart, when the ick comes back. After that, he only tries once more, and then he just stops trying to score entirely... pretends he's just lost his touch and feels secretly relieved every time Robin Buckley puts a tally under the "You Suck" side of the whiteboard in the back room.
It goes on like this until March of 1986, when Eddie Munson comes barrelling into his life and changes everything.
His relationship with Eddie is unlike any he's ever had. They start out as tentative friends after everything with Vecna is finally over, and then it grows from there.
They hang out with the kids at Steve's place, which eventually turns into them hanging out without the kids. They talk about the weather, and the Upside Down, and music, and DnD campaigns. Anything and everything that comes to mind. Eddie tells Steve how he came to live with Wayne, and in return, Steve tells Eddie about his parents - about how he sometimes feels like he's haunting his own home.
(Eddie starts making excuses to stay the night more often, after that conversation, and Steve doesn't mention it, but he notices.)
And one day he looks over at Eddie, who's talking animatedly to El while Steve pops popcorn for their movie night, and suddenly, it hits him like a goddamn truck.
Eddie Munson is beautiful.
Steve can barely breathe as the realization takes hold, because he's not used to seeing people this way. He can appreciate when someone is objectively attractive, sure, but he rarely looks at someone and wants like this. He rarely looks at a person and wonders what their lips would feel like against his own, or what sort of sounds they make when they come, or what they'd look like with Steve's love bites riddling their skin...
He's only looked at one other person this way before: Nancy, after they'd been dating for a few weeks and had gotten to know each other better.
He's so shocked by the sheer amount of wanting he's feeling for Eddie that he blows right past the gay panic part of his bisexual awakening, straight into bumbling idiot with a crush territory.
And really, it must be obvious, because two weeks later, Eddie's gaze locks onto Steve's while they're sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the water, and Eddie smiles. It's a soft, gentle thing - so different from the maniacal grins he gives the kids when they're all hanging out together - and it steals all of the breath from Steve's lungs. His heart races as the air around them shifts, and for once, it's out of excitement rather than anxiety.
Eddie's voice is devastatingly timid when he murmurs, "Stevie, can I kiss you?"
Steve feels like he could cry out of happiness. His answer is a simple nod, and when Eddie kisses him slowly, sweetly, chastely, Steve can feel any remaining anxiety melting away.
Because this kiss isn't a demand, or a prelude to all of those other activities that Steve wants but isn't sure he's quite ready for with Eddie, yet. It's not a challenge.
It's a promise - a promise that this thing that's been blossoming between them over the last few months is real. Wordlessly, Eddie vows to treat him with care, and Steve does the same in kind.
And it's perfect.
They take things slow - slower than Steve and Nancy did, and definitely slower than Steve's ever gone with anyone else. Steve doesn't ask for sex, now that he no longer has a persona to uphold, and Eddie doesn't push. They're both perfectly content to share soft kisses and quiet words while they lay tangled together in one of their beds with their pajamas on, for now.
It takes more than a month for Eddie to bring it up.
"Baby, can I ask you something?" Eddie asks quietly.
They're curled up in Steve's bed after a long day taking the kids swimming at the quarry, and neither of them have said much for the last half hour or so. Eddie has been flipping through one of his D&D books, and Steve has been laying with his head pillowed on Eddie's chest, listening to his boyfriend's occasional mutterings about tieflings and trolls and some sort of forest quest. He's not even sure Eddie realizes he mutters to himself while he reads, and that just makes Steve love it even more.
Steve just hums sleepily and props his chin on Eddie's sternum to look up at him, face immediately falling into a frown. Eddie looks contemplative and a little nervous, and Steve already hates whatever this conversation is going to be about. He doesn't like it when Eddie is upset. It breaks his heart every time.
Swallowing thickly, he pushes himself off of Eddie's chest so they can lay on their sides facing each other, hands tangling between them because they're always touching these days. "What's up, Eds?" Steve asks. He hopes his voice is encouraging and doesn't give away the anxiety beginning to roll in his stomach.
Eddie hesitates, face scrunching up adorably like it always does when he's thinking too hard about something.
"We don't have sex," Eddie finally blurts out unceremoniously.
Steve's heart plummets, but he tries to keep his tone light when he speaks. "Is there a question in that...?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
Eddie won't meet his eyes, and it makes Steve feel strangely off-kilter. Eddie hasn't been this skittish around him in months.
"I don't know, just... doesn't that bother you, or something?" he says finally.
Steve deflects. "Does it bother you?"
He's dreading Eddie's answer.
But he only dreads it for a moment, because Eddie's eyes go wide and apologetic immediately. "No! No, Stevie, I'm fine with what we've been doing," Eddie says quickly. "I mean, I want to do more, you know? But it's totally fine if you don't. I guess I'm just worried I'm... boring you?"
Steve's expression must be incredulous, because Eddie backtracks instantly.
"Wow, okay, that sounded way worse out loud than it did in my head. Jesus H. Christ," Eddie sighs.
"Why would you think you're boring me?" Steve asks, unable to let it go, because it's quite possibly the most ridiculous thing Eddie has ever said (and that is a high bar to clear). In what world could Eddie - funny, unpredictable, unbearably sweet Eddie - be boring?
Eddie winces, then shrugs. "I don't know, man, you're just..." He pauses; Steve waits. "You're Steve Harrington, you know? It's not exactly a secret that you got around while we were in school. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing!" Eddie clarifies. "Whatever you did before doesn't bother me because it doesn't matter anymore, right? But you obviously like having sex, and we obviously haven't done anything more than kiss yet, and I was just wondering if that bothered you, I guess..."
For a moment, Steve considers lying. He considers telling Eddie that it doesn't bother him, but that he's ready for more if Eddie is, because it sounds like Eddie might be, and Steve doesn't want to disappoint him. He's pretty sure he could have a decent enough time having sex with Eddie if that's what Eddie wants. He could bite the bullet in the name of keeping everything else - the amazing parts of this little thing between them that make every part of Steve's soul feel warm and comforted and held.
So, yeah. He considers it - lying and putting on a good face while he gives Eddie what everyone always seems to want from Steve Harrington - but then he meets Eddie's eyes and reconsiders.
Eddie's gaze is open and kind and nervous, not expectant. He looks vulnerable and more than a little self-conscious, and in that moment, Steve decides that he's not going to let this thing with Eddie meet the same uncomfortable end as all the others. If Eddie can be vulnerable, if Eddie can be open and honest, then Steve can meet him halfway and do the same.
"What if I don't?" he asks, voice weak and unsure. He sounds so small - like a child, almost - and he hates it.
Eddie frowns. "What if you don't what?"
"You said it was obvious that I liked having sex," Steve replies shakily. He can't quite meet Eddie's eyes, but he sees Eddie's hesitant nod out of the corner of his eye. "Well... what if I don't?"
Steve wonders if the silence that follows feels as deafening and suffocating to Eddie as it does to him.
"I don't understand..." Eddie says. His voice is soft, like he's afraid he might scare Steve away, and Steve realizes suddenly that his own hands are trembling.
"I-" he murmurs haltingly. "It's just... sex is sort of weird for me, sometimes." He pauses, then quietly adds, "Most of the time, actually." He chances a look at Eddie's face and immediately wishes he hadn't, because Eddie's frown is deep and concerned and Steve doesn't know how to fix it.
"Okay," Eddie says slowly, giving Steve's hands a reassuring squeeze. "Do you think you could tell me what you mean by that?"
And, well... Steve does his best to explain. He tells Eddie about the way he'd felt icky back in high school, whenever he hooked up with some random girl from his class. He tells Eddie that he'd wanted to have sex, but for some reason it always seemed to feel like something was off. Sometimes, it felt like something was missing. Other times, it felt like too much.
Steve tells him about the times when he felt wrong-footed and uncomfortable for hours afterwards, even long after the girl had left. He quietly recounts, with flushed cheeks and watery eyes, those few occasions that had made him feel so terrible he'd sat on the shower floor and cried until the hot water ran out, unable to wash the feeling away.
He tells Eddie everything - about those precious few times with Nancy when he'd felt normal, about his attempts after their breakup that made him feel weirdbadwrong once again, about his relief every time he scared a new girl off at Scoops with his purposefully dismal flirting.
Steve tells Eddie everything, and Eddie listens.
By the end, there are tear tracks on Steve's face, trailing downwards towards a small damp spot on his pillow, but Eddie takes it all in stride. He simply raises a hand to brush away the tears and presses his lips to Steve's forehead, all while thanking Steve for telling him, and assuring Steve that there's no pressure, with them. There's no timeline, no expectation of sex, and there never will be. Eddie is happy to wait as long as Steve needs, and if the time never comes, then that's alright, too.
The thought alone brings additional tears of relief to Steve's eyes, and he feels a part of his heart unclench when Eddie's arms wrap around him that night as they drift off to sleep, just as they've done most nights for the last month. He feels safe inside the cocoon of Eddie’s arms, in the knowledge that Eddie knows, now, and he’s not going anywhere. Any lingering anxiety dissipates entirely the following morning, when Eddie bitches and moans about being woken up for work, but still kisses Steve just as sweetly before he goes, no less adoring than the day before.
It gives Steve honest-to-God butterflies, and he feels a bit like a lovesick teenager when he watches Eddie pull out of the driveway that morning. He wonders if maybe they’ll just carry on as though nothing has changed at all.
In the end, things do change, but it doesn’t take long for Steve to realize they’ve changed for the better. Their conversation seems to have opened the door for the kind of vulnerability that Steve’s never had with anyone else before, and it’s nice. More than nice, actually. It comes with the sort of honesty and trust he’s longed for his entire life. It comes with sweet kisses that never become too insistent, and soft touches that never wander into unwanted places. For the first time, Steve can relax and let himself be cared for…let himself fall even deeper in love with Eddie Munson than he already is.
Things progress, despite remaining temporarily paused on the physical front. They tell Robin about their relationship, and after she’s done half-crying, half-laughing her way through congratulating them, she gives Eddie an astonishingly frightening shovel-talk. They tell Dustin a few days later, and then the rest of the kids and Nancy. They go on their first official date at the drive-in, where they can cuddle up without needing to worry about the prying eyes of the ignorant assholes who make up most of the population of Hawkins.
A little over a month after The Talk, Steve holds Eddie’s hand while Eddie tells his Uncle Wayne that they’re together, and after Wayne wraps Eddie up in the biggest bear-hug of all time, he does the same to Steve and assures him that as long as he never hurts Wayne’s boy, Steve will always be welcome in the Munson home. Steve doesn’t comment on the tears shining in Eddie’s eyes, but he holds Eddie extra tightly that night. Tells Eddie how proud he is. Wonders how much longer he’ll be able to stop himself from slipping up and confessing exactly how much he loves Eddie.
And one day, after months of chaste kisses and soft, conservative touches…Steve feels ready for more.
They start slow, at Eddie’s insistence and to Steve’s relief. At first, it’s nothing but the two of them laying in Eddie’s bed, jerking themselves off side by side. They’re barely touching, aside from the occasional brush of the arm, but Steve feels like he’s on fire in the best way. Eddie’s choked off gasps go straight to his dick, and they come within seconds of each other, too satisfied to be embarrassed about how quickly the whole thing happens.
The next night, when they get their hands on each other, Steve’s are trembling with nerves frayed from wondering if the icky weirdbadwrong feeling will rear its head. But Eddie’s voice is soft and soothing, and his touch is no less gentle than it always is when he wraps his fingers around Steve’s cock for the first time. Instead of the prickly, icy feeling he usually gets, Steve thinks that this feels perfect. Like slipping into a warm bath after a long day out in the cold. It doesn’t take long for him to forget all about his worry that it might feel wrong when he’s lost in Eddie’s whispered encouragement and soft touches.
He comes that night with Eddie’s name on his lips, and when his fingers tremble as he returns the favor for his boyfriend, it’s out of excitement, not fear.
Steve tells Eddie he loves him a little over a week later, after a Corroded Coffin show at the Hideout.
Eddie says it back.
And the icky feeling continues to stay away, for the most part.
Of course, there’s still a bit of a learning curve when it comes to their sex life. There are days when Steve feels detached - untethered to the world around him, like he’s just going through the motions of life - and he can’t do anything sexual without feeling a bit like he wants to crawl out of his own skin. And they never have sex when they’re angry with each other, because the one time they try, Steve breaks down halfway through, unable to shake the feeling of wrongness that courses through his veins like poison.
It’s a lot of trial and error, and many very honest conversations, but it works. Eddie is never pushy - never seems to get frustrated with Steve’s oddly fickle relationship with sex - and eventually, Steve stops getting frustrated with himself. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not broken. He just is the way he is, and he doesn’t need to change that. Every once in a while, he wishes he knew someone else who felt like this, just to have someone to talk to, but it’s hard to feel lonely when he gets to fall asleep in Eddie’s arms every single night once they move in together in 1988.
Eventually, he sort of forgets about ever feeling broken in the first place, after years spent with a man who loves him unconditionally, exactly how he is.
Until a random day in the middle of June, 2015 when Eddie comes home from teaching guitar at the music center down the road with a pamphlet.
“Steve?” Eddie calls over the sound of the slamming screen door. Steve keeps meaning to replace the spring, so it won’t slam quite so hard every time, but every time he tries, he just gets distracted and forgets altogether.
“In here!” he replies from his place at the kitchen table, surrounded by dozens of middle school history essays.
Eddie comes striding into the kitchen with his guitar case slung over his shoulder and a half-nervous, half-excited grin on his face, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. It’s a habit from youth that he never quite shook, and Steve will never admit this out loud, but he finds it disgustingly adorable.
“Can I help you?” Steve asks with a slight smirk when Eddie just stares at him for a long moment.
Eddie blinks, then suddenly looks a bit sheepish as he takes a breath and pulls a folded-up pamphlet out of his jacket pocket. “So, uh…this might sound weird, but one of my students went to the Pride parade downtown with her girlfriend this weekend, and I told her to bring me a souvenir. And I was joking, obviously! Only…she brought me this random pamphlet she got from some vendor while she was there, also as a joke, and I was reading it because I was bored between lessons - Jeremy canceled because he has strep, or something - and it really wasn’t all that interesting, because, like, been there, done that, right? But-”
“Eddie,” Steve says, smirk dissolving into a fond smile. “You’re rambling, babe.”
“Right, yeah. That I am,” Eddie laughs nervously. He fidgets with the pamphlet, then abruptly holds it out for Steve to take.
Steve only hesitates for a moment before taking it and giving it a brief once-over. “Am I supposed to be-”
“Page five,” Eddie interrupts. His voice is soft, and fond, and a little nervous in a way it rarely is around Steve these days. Nearly thirty years of (unofficial) marriage has left little to be nervous about.
Steve stares at his husband, then flips open the little booklet to a page sporting a black, purple, grey, and white flag, and the word demisexuality. He frowns thoughtfully and pushes his reading glasses further up his nose as he begins to read the rest of the text on the page.
“I didn’t think much of it at first,” Eddie says softly, pulling up a chair so he can sit beside Steve. “But then I remembered that talk we had back when we first started dating…”
His voice trails off, but that’s okay. Steve already knows exactly what conversation Eddie is thinking about, because Steve is recalling it himself.
“There’s a word for it?” Steve’s voice comes out surprisingly fragile. Hopeful.
He can hear the smile in Eddie’s reply. “Yeah, sweetheart. Seems that way.”
“And there are…” Steve swallows down the tidal wave of emotion threatening to crash over him. “There are more people like me? It’s, like…a thing?”
“Sure is, baby,” Eddie says fondly, pressing a lingering kiss to Steve’s temple. “Got your own flag and everything!”
Steve chokes out a laugh just as the first tear falls down his cheek, and fuck, he can’t stop smiling. Because Eddie is right. There’s a word, and a community, and a goddamn flag. And yeah, maybe it’s been years since Steve last worried about the weirdbadwrong feeling he used to get so frequently when he was younger, but something inside of him feels like it’s settled into place. Like the final piece of a puzzle, pulled from beneath the couch years after the rest was completed: dusty and faded, almost forgotten, but a perfect fit nonetheless.
“Demisexual…” he murmurs reverently, tracing over the shape of the flag with his fingers. “I like it.”
“Yeah?” Eddie asks eagerly.
Through happy tears, Steve looks at the man who is his husband in everything but the eyes of the law. Eddie’s eyes are kind and excited - just like they always are - and God, Steve loves him. He’s loved him for decades, and he’s never going to stop.
“Yep,” Steve breathes, wrapping a hand around the back of Eddie’s head to pull him in for a slow kiss. “Love it,” he says. Another kiss. “Love you.”
“Love you too, baby,” Eddie whispers in return.
The next year, Eddie’s students don’t need to bring him souvenirs from Pride, because he and Steve go together. They hold hands as they cheer on the parade, newly-acquired wedding rings (now that it’s been legalized in all fifty states) glinting in the sunlight, and Steve wonders if he’s ever been this happy before. He’s got his husband on one side, Robin and her wife on the other, and a flag of black, purple, grey, and white painted on one cheek.
The feeling is electric.
It’s perfect.
And Steve has never, ever been more certain that there’s nothing icky or wrong about it.
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urrockstar-xe · 2 months
Text
3 teen boys vs 1 pretty girl - j.m x fem!reader
posted feb 10th, 2024 10:24 pm
heres another belated v day post!! :D im working my way up guys look at me go, im running out of valentine themed songs though if you have recs and see this before the 14th pls send them to me!!
summary: John B and Pope have to help out JJ when he's under too much stress over a pretty girl, not proofread, use of Y/n.
masterlist
wordcount: 1.0k
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JJ wasn’t one for romantics, never was, never will be. He’s never witnessed real romance outside of TV shows and movies, although now that he has, with his best friend falling in love, JJ still just didn’t quite get it.
Until he met You, of course, because every sweet, enchanting, and cheesy love story has to start with the player meeting the one.
The one that broke down every little wall with a soft smile and pretty eyes. The one who saves everything while simultaneously ruining it all. 
At least in JJ’s eyes. 
“Dude, just admit you like her” Pope’s words went in one ear and out the other as JJ groaned into the old pillow, dramatically falling onto John B’s couch. “I think he did, just not in a comprehensible way” John B chuckled, shoving JJ’s feet off of his lap.
JJ groaned once more before shifting positions and sitting up on the opposite end of JB. “I don’t know what it is, man. She comes in, introduces herself with a pretty little voice, batting her pretty little eyelashes, smiling a pretty little smile on her pretty little face.” JJ’s voice was laced with irritation, his friends just laughed in response. 
“I think JJ thinks Y/n is pretty, Pope.” “No way, really?” Another round of laughter between the two boys made JJ scoff before chuckling a bit as well, he rubbed at his eyes. 
JJ’s laughter ended with a sigh, “She’s makin’ me crazy.” John B smiled at his friend, nudging his shoulder. “They have that effect huh?” JB remarked, sharing a knowing look with Pope before Pope pulled JJ up off the couch.
“What am I gonna do? I mean, I gotta really wow this girl, man I mean, she’s perfect” JJ gushed as he stared back at his friend who merely smiled back and shook his head. “Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, why don’t you go work that out with John B and I’ll continue studying.” Pope proposed the idea as JB stood up, patting JJ on the back before nearly dragging him out of the chateau by the back of his hoodie. 
“C’mon, we’re gonna make sure you get your girl by tomorrow night”
JJ and John B loaded up into the Twinkie, heading straight for the closest convenience store. JB distracted his lovelorn friend with loud music that the two teenage boys happily and obnoxiously sang along to. Once they finally pulled up to the store and went inside, John B led JJ to the aisle filled with red and pink colored cardboard, and heart-shaped candies.
“Dude, I don’t even know what kind of candy she likes,” JJ sighed, both boys scanning the wall of options. “This is gonna be harder than I thought.” John B mumbled. 
“It’s all just one big guessing game-” John B got cut off by the store clerk noticing them. 
“Maybank, I better not catch you stealin’ nothin'.” His gruffy booming voice caught their attention, heads turning towards the sound in sync. “Course not, Mr. Wade!” JJ waved, a small smile on his lips as the clerk shook his head and went back to his initial goal, leaving them alone once more. 
JJ watched as John B grabbed one of the blue baskets and started throwing random candy boxes into it. “What are you doing?” JJ furrowed his eyebrows. “She’s gotta like at least one of these, let’s just buy it all” John B shrugged, handing the basket to JJ who turned his attention towards the box full of small stuffed animals. 
JJ picked up a small cat before looking at the little dog holding a love heart. “Do you think she’s more of a dog person or a cat person?” “Which one do you want her to be?” 
JJ abandoned the cat and threw the dog in the basket, just as John B grabbed a pink bag covered in white hearts and threw it on top of their Valentine's treasures. 
“This should be enough right?” John B asked, earning a slightly concerned look from JJ. 
“Aren’t you supposed to be the professional here? I’m just the student!” JJ followed him to the counter and helped throw everything in front of Mr. Wade. 
“JJ, I don’t think people see either of us and think of the word professional.” and of course, he couldn’t argue with that.
JJ was left to his own devices the rest of the night, John B had a date with Sarah. 
He did his best at setting up the bag of goodies, before deciding it was good enough because nothing would be as perfect as you no matter how much he tried. 
Finally, Wednesday had come and right around the time you made it outside of your school building you were met with the sight of the Twinkie, eyes watching it as you laughed at something one of your friends said. You said your goodbyes before making your way to the old van just as JJ Maybank came out of the driver’s side and leaned on the passenger’s door. 
“Thought you dropped out, JJ.” You smiled at the blond, who happily mirrored you as he approached him. “You know, gotta come back every once in a while, see how the place is holdin’ up without me.” He shrugged, earning a chuckle from you.
JJ cleared his throat, standing up straight. “I wanted to surprise you. Ask you to be my Valentine.” Your smile got softer, that sweet look on your face almost making JJ chicken out but now he was too deep in. 
“So ask me,” you said softly, after a moment of waiting for him to continue. JJ laughed, shaking his head. “Right, yeah, sorry. Will you be my Valentine, pretty lady?” His voice was quieter than you were used to hearing, you couldn’t help but cover your face as you felt heat spread across your cheeks. JJ chuckled at your reaction before leaning forward just enough to remove your hands from your face. 
“Whadya say?” You smiled at him as he held onto your hands, whispering now that you were so close. “I’ll be your Valentine any day of the week, J.” He smiled back, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before letting go of your hands and opening the passenger door, revealing the very same bag that was currently overflowing. 
“Awh, babe.” You smiled at the sight, picking up the little dog plush. 
“Hope you’re a dog person,” He said, grabbing the bag’s handles so you could get in the van. 
“And that you have a severe sweet tooth.” 
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