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ouyangzizhensdad · 1 year

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Drunk!Lan Zhan and Honesty

Within the narrative, we find LWJ in a drunken state in three separate instances. The über lightweight Lan offers, at first glance, a perfect opportunity for WWX to probe at his deepest secrets and reveal the truth beneath his perfect cultivator countenance. Or, at least, this is what WWX insists is going on.

The drunken version of Lan Wangji was astonishingly honest and forthcoming. Moreover, compared to his usual self, his words and actions were so bold and unrepressed! It was rare to encounter such an open and unreserved Lan Wangji. How could Wei Wuxian possibly treat him with due respect and resist making mischief? (Chapter 31)

WWX sees LWJ being drunk as an opportunity to find answers to his questions--better yet, once he learns that LWJ does not remember anything that happened while he was inebriated, his inebriation becomes an opportunity to ask risky questions with impunity. This is what leads him to trick LWJ into drinking alcohol at the inn in Yunping, since he is too afraid of ruining his friendship and relationship by asking whether his own feelings are reciprocated--if he asks LWJ while he is drunk, and he receives the answer he dreads, the next morning LWJ will be none the wiser and still treat him as a friend.

Interestingly, though, within the three episodes of LWJ being under the influence and made vulnerable to honesty, this very situation actually works to unlock WWX’s unconscious or repressed desires, and leads him to act upon them more openly than when he is facing a sober LWJ. In this clearly intentional subversion, WWX ends up revealing as much, if not more, while he interacts with an inebriated LWJ during these three episodes.

The first time

WWX’s desire to have LWJ drink with him is in parts motivated by the desire to see his drunken mannerisms, but also the simple wish to see him blush. When he realises his face does not change, he expresses disappointment: “Lan Zhan, why isn’t your face even the least bit red when you’re drunk?” (CH31)

After he washes LWJ’S face, a particular sign of endearment we will see re-appear (especially once they are together) makes its first appearance: “Looking at Lan Wangji’s clear gaze, Wei Wuxian could not resist and he stroked Lan Wangji’s chin lightly.” (CH31)

When he asks a series of questions to LWJ to verify whether he is truly answering them honestly, one stands out amongst the rest, even if WWX pretends he asks it without any forethought. That is, “have you ever liked anyone?” (CH31). After reading the whole book, it becomes clear that WWX had desired from the beginning to be liked by LWJ, and no matter how cheeky he was being, we can read into the question WWX’s unconscious wish that LWJ had liked him in the past.

His reaction to LWJ’s honest declaration of want (when he believes to be asking whether LWJ wants Bichen but LWJ hears him asking whether he wants him) is also revealing, at a point in the story where WWX still denies to himself any attachment or attraction to LWJ.

Wei Wuxian was aware that Lan Wangji was already hopelessly drunk, and that these words were not directed at him. However, he was still struck so hard by these two words that his legs and arms felt weak. This Lan Zhan... If he were this honest and passionate towards a lady, what a formidable man he would be! (Chapter 31)

This first drunken episode however ends abruptly, as LWJ claims it is haishi and thus time to rest. None of the questions WWX meant to ask have been answered, though many he wasn’t aware he wanted to ask indeed were.

… Fine. There would always be another opportunity to get Lan Wangji drunk again. Sooner or later, he would get his answer. (Chapter 31)

The second time

Similar to the first instance, LWJ drinks of his own volition after WWX expresses the desire to share a drink with him: “Hanguang-jun, aren’t you being a bit too considerate? Are you really going to drink with me?” Wei Wuxian said with some astonishment.“ (CH43)

As soon as LWJ falls asleep, WWX’s strong attraction immediately surfaces, and he feels compelled not just to tease but to become closer to his sleeping form. So taken is he by looking at him that he fails to hear Wen Ning knocking.

A strange, eager excitement surged within him and, in one gulp, he finished off the remaining liquor in the pot before standing up. Resting his hands behind his back, he paced back and forth across the room. Suddenly, he walked to Lan Wangji’s side and leaned over, lowering his head and whispering into his ear.

“Lan Zhan?”

There was no reply.

“Wangji-xiong?” continued Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji’s head was supported by his right hand, his breathing slow and steady.

Both his features and the hand at his forehead were pale and flawless like fine jade.

The faint flagrance of sandalwood wafted off of him. The scent had originally been cold and somewhat sombre. Now, as it combined with the liquor’s mellow aroma, a few tinges of warmth rippled through the frost. As though a saccharine whisp had wound its way through, the scent was almost intoxicating.

The aroma swirled around Wei Wuxian’s lungs as he stood near Lan Wangji. Involuntarily, he sank lower, bringing himself closer. A hazy thought clouded his mind. Strange… why does it seem a bit hot?

Though Wei Wuxian remained entirely unaware, amid the inebriating fusion of liquor and sandalwood, his face inched nearer and nearer. His voice also sank lower until he was whispering in a teasing tone.

“Lan… er—”

“Gongzi…” a soft voice suddenly said.

Wei Wuxian’s face had already gotten so close to Lan Wangji that he could easily reach out and touch him, and the ‘gege’ on his tongue had been on the verge of passing between his lips. But the sound startled him awake and his feet slipped beneath him, nearly sending him crashing to the ground. (Chapter 43)

This moment of honesty does not break through to WWX’s consciousness, who wonders at finding himself so near to LWJ, and having his heart beat so fast: “ Only now did Wei Wuxian realise that his heart was beating rather quickly. He puzzled over it again, then regained his composure.” (CH43).

Yet, although he refuses to acknowledge the obvious reason for his state, no sooner does he give in again:

He returned to Lan Wangji’s side and leaned against his ear.

“Lan Zhan, oh Lan Zhan, please stay asleep longer. I’ll be back before you know it. Be a good boy, okay?”

Once the last word left his lips, he felt his hand itch and could not help but brush the tip of his finger against Lan Wangji’s eyelashes. (Chapter 43)

After LWJ wakes up, WWX once more positions himself as the one to extract answers out of an honest LWJ: “His eyes were so clear, so honest that a desire for mischief surged through Wei Wuxian. As though something inside of his body had been ignited, he smiled teasingly. “Lan Zhan, are you still going to answer any question I ask? Do whatever I tell you to?“ (CH44)

Of course, LWJ likewise reveals many things under his inebriated state; for instance by tying up WWX with his forehead ribbon, both denoting that WWX is his chosen person but also suggesting much about his desires. Even his “domineering attitude”, as WWX calls it, later is expressed in their sexual rapports. However, at this point of the narrative, WWX is unable to parse these clues partly due to missing information, such as not yet knowing the true meaning of the Lan clan’s forehead ribbon.

The fact that LWJ will forget the events of the evening seems to be the biggest push that encourages WWX to be more brazen in his actions, which only serves to bring to light his unconscious desires, leading to what he believes to be their first kiss. In this exchange, WWX hides his own want behind the performance that he’s doing it only because LWJ seems to like it.

Am I just going to let Lan Zhan have all the fun by himself? Wei Wuxian thought. No way. That’s unacceptable. Anyway, no matter what I do to him, he’s not going to remember anything when he wakes up tomorrow. I’m going to have even more fun with him.

With his arms around Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian returned to the bed with him.

“You like this, don’t you?” he asked. “Don’t turn around. Speak. Do you like it or not? If you like it, then we don’t have to run around first every single time. I’ll make you as happy as you want.”

As he spoke, he tugged Lan Wangji’s hand upward, lowered his head and kissed once between his pale, slim fingers.

Lan Wangji tried to pull his arm away like last time but Wei Wuxian held it firmly in place, refusing to let go.

His lips touched Lan Wangji’s fingertips. With feather-light breaths, Wei Wuxian roamed up each knuckle until he reached the back of his palms. There, he kissed him again.

No matter how hard Lan Wangji tugged, he was unable to tear his hand away. He could only clench his fingers together into a tight fist.

Wei Wuxian pushed up his sleeve a little, revealing a snow-white wrist. He kissed it as well.

Afterwards, he gazed at Lan Wangji without lifting his head.

“Is this enough yet?”

Lan Wangji pressed his mouth tightly shut, refusing to speak.

Wei Wuxian finally sat up straight again and continued, his voice unhurried, “Tell me, did you burn any paper money for me?”

There was no answer. Wei Wuxian chuckled and pressed toward Lan Wangji. He kissed his chest through his robes.

“If you don’t talk, I’m not gonna give you any more. Tell me. How did you know it was me?”

Lan Wangji closed his eyes. His lips trembled, as though he were about to open his mouth and confess.

However, as Wei Wuxian gazed upon those soft, pale-pink lips, something momentarily possessed him. He suddenly went and placed a kiss upon them.

When he was finished, he even licked them, as though the kiss had not been enough.

Abruptly, both men’s eyes widened.

After a long, long time, Lan Wangji sharply lifted his hand. Startled out of his daze, Wei Wuxian immediately broke into a cold sweat. (Chapter 44)

After the fact, once he’s “startled out of his daze,” WWX blames his action on his own drinking, even though the narrative has shown him drinking much more alcohol without any impact on his behaviour, thus encouraging the reader to see through WWX’s obvious deflection. In this exchange, when faced with an inebriated LWJ, WWX has revealed just as much, if not more, without intending to.

No more alcohol for me. I’ve really had enough.

Then, he turned back. His gaze just able to brush past the divider. He stared at Lan Wangji’s profile as the man lay silently on the bed.

I really did drink too much today. Lan Zhan is such a noble and proper person. Even if he were drunk, even if he probably won’t remember when he wakes up, I should not have teased him in such an outrageous way… It was far too disrespectful.

Rembering the outrageous way Wei Wuxian had teased Lan Wangji, he could not help but bring his hand up to his face and touch his own lips.

The third time

Unlike the two previous times, an insecure WWX makes the dubious choice of tricking LWJ into drinking to try to settle his own heart. This takes place after the confrontation in Lotus Pier, where WWX convinced himself that LWJ was insulted by JC’s ‘accusations’ regarding their relationship. Unsettled, he is too scared to ask LWJ directly, but he realises he has little control over his feelings when it dawns on him that he truly can no longer sleep without LWJ next to him. Then, he reasons, there would be little risk in asking a drunk LWJ, who would not remember being asked in the first place. He also convinces himself that this is all he wants, that he has no other desires; simply to confirm, only to know.

Just as he was about to pour the wine, he paused for a split second, warning himself immediately, If he doesn’t drink it, then let it go. If he drinks it, I’ll only ask a few things. I definitely won’t do anything else. I only have to know what he thinks. He won’t remember anything after he wakes up anyways… It won’t interfere with anything.

Only after such a promise did his hands steadily pour the cup full. As if nothing happened, he pushed it in front of Lan Wangji. He’d already been prepared for if Lan Wangji didn’t drink it, but perhaps because Lan Wangji’s mind was busy as well, he didn’t even look at it as he raised it and drank everything.

[...] This time, he fell asleep right on the sitting mat. He still sat properly. Apart from his closed eyes and chin pointing downward, his sitting pose was no different from the norm. Wei Wuxian waved his hand a few times in front of his face. When there was no reaction, he was finally relieved. He reached out, gently lifted Lan Wangji’s chin, and whispered, “I’ve been holding it back all these days. Hanguang-jun, you’re finally in my hands now.” (Chapter 92)

This is reiterated later when, as he bathes LWJ--his head is full of questions, but most of all, full of “the question that he’d always held in the back of his mind, the question he wanted to ask the most— Hanguang-jun, just what do you think of me?“ (CH94)

Ironically, WWX gets immediately distracted from his goal by his attraction to LWJ, drawing for a kiss before he regains self-control at the last minute. This amount of distraction, to the point his body is moving on his own, seems to happen at this point in the narrative mostly when WWX is facing a drunken LWJ. The same situation happens soon after, when once again WWX becomes distracted by the desire to kiss him:

Lan Wangji turned to the other side. Wei Wuxian grabbed his shoulder and turned him back around, coaxing, “Look at me. Don’t run away. Come, come, look at me.”

And so Lan Wangji looked at him. Both of the two stared at each other’s face. They were too close, so close that he could even count Lan Wangji’s long eyelashes. Cold sandalwood and amorous wine—two aromas intertwined amid the unnoticeable breaths.

After a long while of staring, Wei Wuxian’s heart beat faster and faster. He finally couldn’t take it any longer and retreated in defeat, the first to avert his gaze. (Chapter 93)

Interestingly, WWX is seemingly becoming aware of the influence of a drunken LWJ on his own state of mind, and MXTX is bringing our attention to this fact we’ve witnessed in the past two instances of LWJ being drunk: “Now that [LWJ] was drunk, Wei Wuxian’s past dilemma had completely disappeared. It was as if all the wildness in him that had nowhere to go finally found an exit out of his body.” (CH93)

We can seriously doubt that WWX’s brazen action later during the night, when he grabs LWJ in the tub, would have taken place if he had realised that LWJ had sobered up by that point. Not only because of the way a drunk LWJ at this point in their relationship helps WWX connect with his unconscious or repressed desires; not only because it seems to clear his mind and allow for an exit for all “all the wildness in him;” but also because the thought that LWJ will forget everything--all this makes him bolder.

Looking at him sitting in the bathtub serenely, Wei Wuxian suddenly felt he looked pitiable, so he hooked his finger and caressed his chin slightly in an attempt to appease him. Suddenly, he felt that that wasn’t enough; his hand and heart itched and he felt a desire to caress Lan Wangji’s chest. Yet as his hand wandered down, he was stopped by Lan Wangji, grabbing his wrist.

That night, Wei Wuxian had already directed countless of such small gestures at Lan Wangji and had gotten used to Lan Wangji going along with them. To suddenly be halted and grabbed, Wei Wuxian was stunned momentarily, not knowing how to react.

[...] With this face, with this kind of expression, under such circumstances, with this person… Wei Wuxian felt as though his entire body had been doused in a fire that burned away all his rationality and lit him ablaze.

In a manic spur of impulse, he reached his other hand into the water and roughly grabbed at a certain part of Lan Wangji, breathing, “Hanguang-Jun, don’t you dare tell me that you don’t like me touching you like this!”

We likewise get the admission of something that had been true since their teenage years: “Lan Zhan, did you know that I really like it when you get angry…” (CH94)

After their entanglement, WWX reflects upon the fact that his real desires had been revealed in all of this. All the assurances that he had given himself before making Lan Wangji drunk, of “only asking questions and not doing anything else”, was an incomplete picture, a lie (CH95). Ultimately, the truth in WWX’s heart was that he wanted all of LWJ, not just an answer to his question.

Conclusion

Rather than simply using the three instances in which LWJ becomes drunk as a means to bring down his barriers and force him into honesty, as WWX himself believes, MXTX demonstrates how seeing LWJ in this state likewise brings down WWX’s barriers, and allows him to express desires that he might not even be aware of or might not want to acknowledge. In other words, without realising, WWX allows himself a vulnerability around this version of LWJ that he never shows otherwise (that is, until they confirm their feelings to be reciprocated). It’s a pity then, that the very thing that helps him be so unconsciously honest means that LWJ will have no recollections of what transpired and remain uncertain of WWX’s feelings until his confession at Guanyin Temple. In that sense, both are vulnerable and honest, but there is no true reciprocity in those moments.

#meta #mdzs #mdzs meta #wwx #lwj #oyzzd posting meta? it's less likely that you'd think #brought to you by: listening to the audio drama on repeat at work because drunk lwj is my bestie

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rayan12sworld · 1 month

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💠💙醉 | drunk; intoxication

By:sweetlolixo

Summary:

Lan Wangji takes shelter at a brothel on a rainy night. Still a long distance away from Gusu, he resigns himself to asking for a room.

“No women,” he makes sure to say to the madam, simply wanting to rest.

When he opens the door to his room, there is a man draped in red silk, waiting for him.

“Xiansheng,” the man croons. “It’s a beautiful rainy night, are you going to stand there all day?"

Chapter:1/1

Words:15,346

Status:completed

(Hu li jing wei ying)

Thank you for the stay,” Lan Wangji says. It’d been beyond his wildest expectations. “Our pleasure,” the madam answers. “We made sure to send no one up, like you asked.” Lan Wangji pauses. “Mn,” he nods, in acknowledgement. Without the smell of water lilies stinking up the air around him, he can think a bit clearer. He leaves the brothel, and sees A-Ying out front, already waiting for him. “Lan er gege!” A-Ying calls. Lan Wangji smiles softly. “A-Ying.” The fragrance is back

Lan Wangji says. “A-Ying is a brilliant person.” “Yes, far too brilliant,” Lan Xichen agrees. “For someone raised in a brothel.” Lan Wangji’s eyes dart up to him. He should have guessed. His brother never begins innocent conversations with him. “Xiongzhang.” “You have probably guessed much earlier than me,” Lan Xichen smiles, looking on. “That he has lied about his background. You knew even before you brought him back to Cloud Recesses, didn’t you?” Lan Wangji purses his lip. “It’s not important to me.” “Aren’t you the least bit curious?” Lan Xichen questions. “Why he has lied.” “He must have his reasons,” Lan Wangji says. “Ah, yes, you have also been blinded,” Lan Xichen says. “Just like shufu and me, but even worse. As the main target of his desire, the effect is most potent on you.” Lan Wangji sucks in a breath. “Xiongzhang, you are insinuating—” “Few spiritual creatures can do this,” Lan Xichen says. “And the one that we do know of, has become extremely rare in numbers and do not mingle at all with human civilisation.” Lan Wangji turns his head. “It is not important to me what he is. He does not hold malice.” “If he is marrying into our clan,” Lan Xichen says. “I have a right to be wary. He needs something from us. I will not place our clan in danger, all because you have been seduced—” “Xiongzhang!” Lan Wangji snaps, his irritation crackling through him. Lan Xichen may be his older brother, and the eventual sect leader, but Lan Wangji will not stand for him disrespecting Wei Ying, too. Lan Xichen understands he’s overstepped. “There are a few books that I’ve set aside for you in the library pavilion. I do not disapprove of Wei Ying—I like him—but I think it’d be good of you to read up on what he might be—and what he can do.” Lan Wangji casts his gaze to the side. “Hu li jing.” Lan Xichen’s lips spread wider. “You’ve already guessed.”

It’s just as Lan Wangji had thought. Hu li jing, he caresses the words with his lips. He was sure they’d gone extinct, or into hiding, by now. It’s no wonder they’re so hunted for their mythical fox fur—their tails are said to be magical, with divine healing abilities and immortality-granting properties. For one to be so out in the open, co-existing within the human world, even taking on a human lover to marry… it’s something that’s completely unheard of. Lan Wangji feels blessed, of course. For Wei Ying to choose him, to seek him out, of all people, when he could have easily had anyone else—Lan Wangji cannot fathom not having Wei Ying in his life at this point, and so he’s grateful Wei Ying had picked him, for a lifetime partner. Fox spirits can cultivate into immortality, but so can human cultivators, if they’re very good. Lan Wangji does not think Wei Ying is simply choosing a partner for the sake of having a partner; he has chosen Lan Wangji for life.

#foxxian #wangxian #wangxian recommendations #mdzs #mxtx mdzs #wangxian fanfic #ao3 recs #the untamed #mdzs fanfic rec #gusu lan #yiling laozu #mdzs lwj #lwj #lwj x wwx #mdzs wwx #wwx #wangxian fic rec #💠💙醉 | drunk; intoxication

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