Still conflicted thinking about Ulf...
The axis of Ulf’s whole existence is Anna; Ulf is focused on her protection above all else, even experiencing her emotions and going instantly on the defensive when Anna is upset. That all of this comes directly from Elsa herself- a direct reflection of her feelings- produces some major... feels and compromises my fragile heart. But then at the same time Ulf is hurting Elsa nearly every time they’re around too so... I’m just.... GAH
Why does everything in The Next Unknown have to be so damn poignant and painful and layered and nuanced it’s A LOT TO DEAL WITH
(yes i know i drew anna’s jacket motif upside down don’t @ me)
Where the Stars Fell is like:
"You WILL work to figure out what's going on sometimes."
"You will NOT be spoonfed details about every character interaction in this show"
"You WILL confront and challenge your own biases about people with disabilities of all kinds and what they're like."
And I love that about them.
Sometimes a family is a peahen, her turkey girlfriend, and their 8 peafowl children tucked in to their roost at night.
3 purple split pied babies to the left (ltr girl, girl, boy), 3 bs purple split pied babies to the right (all boys), and a bs purple split pied pair in the center (ltr boy, girl).
it's day two of me watching videos on how to cut curtain bangs lmao I feel like I'm gonna regret it so much if I attempt to do it
or even like if I don't do it myself and go to the salon I feel like there's a possibility of me having a breakdown if I don't like it even in the slightest
but I also can't stop thinking about it for the last 48 hours omg send helpp
anyway, HELLA sucks to be dark energy born in a corporeal body. 😢
just in case you forget, please eat properly when ya wake up ~~ can't get gains without the nutrients, yes 😤 love you Mama, seeing your progress is inspiring! (i say as i take a nap on my yoga mat hehe)
I know i have to eat up, unfortunaly i tend to forget to eat these days. I never skip breakfast tho ! It's the other meals that i have difficulties to have (but don't worry tomorrow i'll eat i can't forget about it 👌)
Wa that's very encouraging thank you !!! The fact you guys are here greatly helps me keeping motivation 🌸 (go share ur workout/practice if ya want I wanna know how strong you are)
Gonna be thinking about Iriel today -- namely the kinds of tattoos Iri definitely has (and also like . . .the implications of Iri being the MC’s number one source of safety and comfort when Iri is like, built and has a lot of piercings and tattoos, and doesn’t like talking to people who aren’t the MC + Rosewood + Flint, and then taking that up a notch for MCs who like cutesy styles lololol you can definitely get a “cute tiny pastel baby + tall bruiser who looks like they can and will break your bones if you mess with them” vibe /tangent) and also thinking of giving them face piercings? I’ve already given them extra earrings.
But is there anything anyone would like to know about Iri specifically?
(Sidenote: I just realized that I broke the pinterest board link, so I’ll fix that up sometime soon.)
I posted 87 times in 2021
73 posts created (84%)
14 posts reblogged (16%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 0.2 posts.
I added 208 tags in 2021
#delete later - 47 posts
#myart - 38 posts
#jjba - 23 posts
#sketch - 22 posts
#art - 14 posts
#doodle - 14 posts
#oc - 13 posts
#fanart - 13 posts
#jjba fanart - 13 posts
#dio brando - 11 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#will this mean i actually post something for a change???? ...since it’s au stuff and i can’t stop thinking ocs = content no one cares about
My Top Posts in 2021
Baddest Bitch in the Universe (sorry not sorry, Zinyak)
36 notes • Posted 2021-09-17 22:34:34 GMT
|| OBJECT OF AFFECTION ||
Decided to go back and finally finish this thing i started like a month back before big depression™️ hit lmao - p happy with it though! It was really pushing past getting his hands done that was the hardest part I left for myself hahaha
(( Heart’s a little too big to be human BUT i leave it open to interpretation 8D ))
42 notes • Posted 2021-03-27 01:26:25 GMT
“So madam, what you mean to say is... “I’ll offer my life to you, but please don’t touch my child”... is that correct?”
Hello not me posting this the same day Stone Ocean got announced or anything lmaooooo - i am queen of bad timing
49 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 19:41:01 GMT
oh shit whaddup, it’s Levi
Just wanted to change it up and draw him for the first time in a while! Since last december at least??? Anyway he’s kinda casual here but shhh - breaks are few and far in-between so im letting him have one cuz he deserves it lol
83 notes • Posted 2021-02-02 08:32:33 GMT
Did a manga panel redraw just for fun! Helped give me more practice inking traditionally, but I couldn’t help myself from slapping colour on it digitally too hahaha
Here’s the OG panel for comparison/reference (I didn’t try to stick 100% to it to save myself the stress):
If you wanna see this along with scans for the lineart and the sketch before I inked it, u can check it out over on Instagram!
156 notes • Posted 2021-01-16 17:50:20 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS REDRAW I DID HOLY CRAP
Left is from yesterday (12/16/2020) and right is from 2 years ago (12/20/2018)
jahgjhkl my therapist just assigned me a kin what world am I living in
i think dream knew of some of the allegations, but in a warped way. bearing in mind that, other than his word against piles of material against him, it would have been nearly impossible to solidify proof that manatreed is innocent without confirming a dox or allowing manatreed to give in and face reveal which would give doxxers insane amounts of power. dream has always very meticulous when it comes to his twitlongers/pastebins so he isn’t *lying* but rather just not disclosing the truth. I do believe him when he said “I'm not aware and never have been aware of any form of violence against women from anybody that I know, whether it's friends or creators or otherwise”, but i think he knew that Something was going on, just not the specifics whether that be out plausible deniability or manatreed being manipulative or something else entirely. i think the twitlonger was meant to make it seem like manatreed is innocent without actually saying it so, if one day the truth comes out irrevocably, he can fall back on never actually pleading his innocence. that being said, i don’t think dream did anything intentionally malicious. i think there’s a lot we don’t know and a lot of nuance that’s gone unseen and will remain that way
this is a take that i have zero problem with honestly. before it felt like the biggest question was whether or not manatreed was the person who's name i will not mention, but from everything...i'm pretty certain he is. now the question (for people who do not believe manatreed is innocent) is how informed dream was. i think you're right in that he was purposefully vague, and mainly telling lies by omission, so that he can fall back on that if this comes back to bite him, but honestly i don't think it'll work....well maybe actually. now i've seen how much people will blindly follow him. anyways, i think it'd make sense that he knew some warped version of what was happening, but i don't think it's right of me to discount the possibility that he may have just. fully knew. it doesn't fit my vision of him, but....idk man i don't always have the best intuition 😭
I don't know what happened, I don't know if Horikoshi had input or what. But they clearly took a different approach this season. I mean last season had an arc that was SOLELY about the villains, and that wasn't enough for them to get the kind of focus they did this season.
I don't know how to explain it but it's like the anime team finally GETS IT.
Like yes!! The villains are important!! Their connections to the heroes are important!!! Let's draw attention to that NOW since it's like 90% of the focus for the final arc!!!!
Because not only did they focus on the villains, they focused on who they're connected to on the hero side.
Look at Ochacko and Toga, who for the most part don't get much focus in art and extra stuff:
Ochacko (she looks sooo pretty in that first picture 😭) turns around and sees Toga's handkerchief. Ochacko never saw that handkerchief, it was never something that was brought to her attention. But her seeing it here, and then it immediately flashing to:
Toga and Twice, who are connected by the handkerchief. And Twice was Toga's breaking point during this arc, and that breaking point brought her to Ochacko.
I love the way they used that here, it's subtle but it's obvious. 10/10
Then Touya (I wonder what anime only people who really avoid spoilers think of this lolol)
I love how they drew the connection to BOTH of his parents. Not just the one, but both. It really drives it home that it’s not about Touya’s dad. It’s not about Endeavor. It’s about their family. The family Endeavor and Rei both created. All of them are important.
Beautiful, amazing, heart breaking.
The only slight disappointment is the absence of Shouto, but his role becomes much more prominent later. So I’m sure we’ll see them together in openings and endings in the last season.
Then the butterfly, and the dream scape that Shigaraki wakes up from, into a brand new "life form", after sleeping in a cocoon for four months, like a butterfly.
Then we get some moments that aren't in the manga, but expand on what IS in the manga.
Shigaraki looking at all the destruction he just caused with the touch of a hand. Looking like he's thinking.
Then The Trauma, and no more thinking. Time for more destruction.
I have nothing much to say here. I do love the way they adjusted from the manga panel and made Tenko stand up, just to make it a little different. He's a tad bit taller, even though they're technically the same age in that panel. And I LOVE how they put Tenko in the shadows, and Izuku in the light walking toward the shadows. Just, 10/10. (lol at their current height difference tho, shig is quite a bit taller lmaooo)
Eyes. Looking at the lonely path ahead, both of them.
Again, looking at the lonely, self-destructive path ahead. Both of them.
Anyway—I’m done I think. I wasn’t expecting anything like this. I’m glad I kept my expectations minimal because I get pleasantly surprised.
10/10, all of it.
oooo you take requests... hmmm write me a thing... you know what I like since you read my stuff lolol
We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.
Pairing: Copia x gn!reader - I don't think any pronouns were used
I decided to use a prompt for this, I hope you like it <3
You've been standing in the hallway before a window as you watch the storm take its course and the rain falling like tears down the glass. You were just on your way to go check if Copia has had dinner yet. He left your shared room before dawn, with a kiss on your forehead, and has been working hard in his office all day since the Clergy has been giving him loads of paperwork which unfortunately takes all of his extra time away from you. Taking one more glance at the storm clouds you walk away from the window and towards his office. The sight that greets you when you open his door is the same as the other times today; Copia is hunched over a pile of paperwork with his laptop on one side of his desk for emails. It looks like he hasn't straightened his back once.
He's too focused on work he doesn't notice you, even though you're not even trying to be quiet, until you're behind him and gently place your hands on his shoulders, "Merda empia!*" He jumps in his seat.
"It's just me, my love. I'm sorry to scare you." You lean in close to leave a light kiss on the corner of his mouth in apology and he places his gloved hand on one of yours while he calms down.
"Do not sneak up on me again, mia dolcezza*." He says with a huff that you have to stifle a giggle at. He turns in his chair to see me completely and you use it as a chance to keep his full attention on you by sitting on his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist to hold you in place.
"My apologies love, but allow me to make it up to you and pull you away from your work." You say softly pushing loose hair out of his face.
"No no no, I still have a lot of paperwork to do." He turns his head to look back at his desk that holds the banes of both of your existence, you gently pull him back by softly cupping his face in your hands. By the look in your eyes, the big puppy dog eyes, he gives an already weak warning knowing he can never say no to your puppy eyes, "Amore*, no."
"Amore, yes." You playfully mimic, "Copia we've hardly spent any time together this week. My Papa deserves a break."
"Does he?" He's so close to giving in, you can see a sliver of strength holding on in his eyes. You nod and do more to convince him you go place your head in the crook of his neck, leaving a little kiss on the sweet spot on his neck as you go, "I miss my Papa."
His body relaxes into his chair and his arms hold you closer to him and mumbles, "He misses you too." Placing a kiss on your hair his accent is slightly thicker as he adds, "You have me for the night, what would you like to do."
You lift your head in thought, "Well it is dinner time we can go eat. Or we could go out in the rain, have a romantic kiss then go to our room and ask for a ghoul to bring our food as we cuddle."
Copia looks out the window like he didn't know it was raining which he probably didn't if he's been buried in work. "We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain?" He looks back towards you with a cute tilt of his head.
You nuzzle into the crook of his neck, missing the feel of him this past week, "There haven't been any bolts." You mumble.
He sits still just holding you then pats your thigh, a silent signal for you to get up which you do then he follows and stretches his back out before taking a step out from his desk while offering you his hand. You take it with a smile watching as your hand fits perfectly in his. He walks out of his office with you in tow greeting members of his flock as you go, heading towards the entrance that leads out into the gardens. He pulls you out the door, out into the rain not having caring if his paint is going to start sliding down his face or if his robes are going to get wet because it's for you.
He walks with his arm around your waist keeping distance from trees and anything metal or electrical out into the middle of the grassy field. Keeping his arm around your waist he takes your hand in his pulling you against him and starts slow dancing while quietly singing "Life Eternal". Looking up to find those mismatched eyes watching intently with his paint quickly running off his face, his hair wet and curly with some strands of his bangs falling on his face. You're breath catches, "So handsome."
Smiling down at you as he's still singing and when after he sings "Can you feel me longing for you forever and ever?" he lifts your chin and places his lips upon yours, letting go of your hand to grip the back of your head keeping you there as your lips mould together like the perfect puzzle pieces, only pulling apart when air is needed he still doesn't go far as he rests his forehead against yours. "You're right, beautiful, this is romantic."
Merda empia! - Unholy shit!
mia dolcezza - my sweetie
Amore - Love
Feedback is greatly appreciated ♡
ーwith a taste of your lips i'm on a ride
you buy a bottle of love from sam + eng ob gang - vil
A/N: peep manga Riddle kyehehehe
Prompt: faulty love potion
Pairing(s): Riddle Rosehearts x reader, Leona Kingscholar x reader, Azul Ashengrotto x reader, Jamil Viper x reader
CW: it's kinda like???? idk it's like you think you're poisoning them but you're not lolol
"Good evening Sam..." you paused with a yawn, eyelids feeling heavy as you approached him. "Just some tuna and whatever pre-cooked meals that I can heat up."
"Tired, my little imp?" He questioned lightheartedly. "Do not fret! I've been prepared for this, thanks to my friends on the other side... I've found the perfect combination for your budget!"
Placing the thaumarks in his waiting palm, you watched as he pulled out a couple bags of food for you and Grim. "Say, have you gotten anything interesting lately? Anything new?"
"New?" He hummed in thought, before his eyes lit up. "Ah, yes! I have this new product that's still in testing! A business associate sent it over this morning!"
He disappeared into the shelves for a while, rummaging through his latest imports. After a few... minutes was it? You couldn't really tell with how tired you were. He had resurfaced with a short glass bottle, with a pink, sparkly syrup inside. The bottle itself was decorated in hearts and was labeled in a font you couldn't read.
"I have obtained a prototype love potion!" He held the bottle out triumphantly, leaning in to whisper barely a second after. "I can sell it to you for as low as five thaumarks, since you're special."
"...am I your guinea pig?" You sighed, fishing out another couple thaumarks.
"I prefer... a test run volunteer." He snatched the money, pushing the bottle towards you. "Happy poisoning!"
"See you, Sam!" You grabbed your bags, heading off to spend some quality time with your close friend.
☆ R. ROSEHEARTS
You clutched the bottle in your hands, watching the sparkles float around in dense spirals, along the walls. You contemplated slipping it in his tea for a split second, dismissing the thought as soon as it came; that would be no better than slipping him a vial of poison!
"Good evening, prefect." Riddle took his seat across from you, before eyeing your hands suspiciously. "What have you got there?"
You looked up, startled. "Oh! Riddle, you scared me! I just... uh... I visited Sam's shop. He gave me this product he was planning on selling."
His brow arched, unamused, urging you to explain further.
"I-it's, um..." you put it down on the table. "...supposed to be a love potion."
"It's- it's a what?!" His face turned a deep scarlet, hand freezing a mere inch from the bottle. "Have you put this in my drink?!"
"No! No, I swear! I just... I dunno, he told me to test it, so I've been carrying it around..." You mumbled.
He opened the bottle slowly, inhaling the scent. "It smells like plain sugary syrup, are you sure this is actually magic?"
You reached forward hastily. "Hey, wait, I wouldn't drink that if I wereー"
"It's... I don't feel any effects, I-" his eyes widened as he pressed a hand to his lips.
"Riddleー!?" You stood up, making your way towards him hastily.
Before you could say a word, he pulled you closer, hands resting on your cheeks. "You're so..." he whispered, trailing off as he pressed his lips to yours.
You froze, heartbeat quickening. "Mmphー?!"
A sweet taste lingered on his lips; if it was residue from the potion, pastries or both, you weren't sure. You felt yourself relax seconds before he pulled away, a hidden smile tight against his mouth.
"Pfff... that love potion was so strong, I couldn't resist you, could I?" He snickered softly. "I don't know if it's worn off though, I might have to kiss you again to check."
"Riddle, what was..." you huffed, looking away. "That potion's not even real! You just kissed me for no reason!"
"The potion's not real?" He feigned surprise. "It felt real to me! Plus... seeing you all flustered like that was well worth the kiss, don't you agree?"
☆ L. KINGSCHOLAR
You wiped your wet hands on the front of your uniform as you rushed for the door, hurrying to calm the incessant knocking. "I'm coming, I'm coming! By the Great Seven!"
The door swung open with a simple pull, creaking and moaning at the hinges with the force applied. A lashing tail and a pair of flicking ears awaited your presence.
"Finally. What took you so long, herbivore? Did you trip or something?" He grumbled flatly, staring at you with bored eyes.
"I was washing my hands, I just got back from doing groceries, for your information!" You exclaimed, moving out of the doorway to let him in. "What's up with your visit anyway? I thought you were too rich for this kind of place."
He pushed past you, into the common room with a heavy sigh. "Ruggie's cleanin' the bed or something. Too noisy to sleep."
"...so you're sleeping here?" You shut the door, following him in.
"Hey, I let you sleep in my dorm." He argued, picking up a bottle from your shopping bag, popping it open.
He looked at the label, merely shrugging before tipping it into his mouth. It was only after he'd swallowed it that you realized what it was.
"Leona! That'sー" you paused, checking the bottle again. "That's the love potion!"
He gave you a dead stare before downing the rest of the thick, pink liquid. "I know, I can read. I don't even believe in this kinda stuff any...way?"
His eyes darkened a moment, demeanor shifting quicker than the mood of a certain doe-eyed Leech.
With the agility of a lion, he trapped you between the wall and his body. You could've easily slipped out if you so wanted to, but the green of his eyes seemed to entrance you; was that magic or just your crush on him?
"Did you know I'd be comin' over? Is that why you bought that?" He questioned, almost sounding rhetoric. "...'cause y'know that you don't need magic to make me feel things for you."
"I'm so in love with ya, I dunno what to do with myself!" He inched closer.
"That's the potion talking." You replied, gently pushing him back with a hand on his chest.
"What, this?" He laughed, shaking the bottle in his hand. "This is just plain sugar... or sweet'ned glitter glue. Either way, it made me wanna mess with you a little, herbivore."
"Oーoh." Your voice came out a little shakier than expected. "Heh, right. Good one. Of course you're not into me."
"Who said that I'm not into you?"
☆ A. ASHENGROTTO
"So, dear prefect, what matter was so pressing that you had to meet with me on a busy day such as this?"
Azul drummed his fingers impatiently along the armrest of his chair, gloves dampening the rhythmic tapping. His pocketwatch ticked steadily in his breast pocket, in sync with his fingers.
"This won't be long, I promise! I just had a question!" You leaned over the table, grinning at him.
He sighed, nodding. "Alright, then ask away."
"You've got a pretty good tolerance to spells and potions, right?" You began, fishing for the bottle in your bag as you spoke.
"Yes, I do." He answered, watching anxiously for what you were going to pull out. "Why do you ask?"
"Well..." you placed the love potion on his desk, looking up at him expectantly. "Can you try out this potion I got? It's supposed to be a love potion, but I'm not sure how strong the effects are."
"Whー?!" His eyes rounded into a shape akin to two big pearls.
"Y'see, I can't really test it on myself, 'cause I don't wanna accidentally end up in 'love' with someone really inconvenient! But you can prevent that with your super magical powers and stuff!" You pushed the bottle towards him.
He picked it up, eyeing it warily through his eyeglasses. "It doesn't look particularly pungent... but then again, disguising a potion is hardly impossible."
"Actually, now that I think about it... I think it would be rude to ask that of you, huh? I bought it, so I'll try it!" You plucked the bottle from his hands, pressing the glass neck to your lips.
A thick, sweet syrup melted into your mouth, tasting just sweet enough not to be sickening, but not nearly flat enough to be called light. Hold on... this just tasted like sugar! And... some kind of fruit?
Deciding that it'd be funny to mess with your friend a little, you climbed over his desk, calling his name lovingly. His reaction was priceless when you removed his gloves to press a kiss to his knuckles.
"Azul... you're so adorable, especially your face when you're trying not to be shy..." you mumbled, pretending to admire his features. "I love you~!"
"Hーhuh?!" He fumbled for his words, sputtering incoherent gibberish for a while before collecting himself a little.
"Aw, you're even cuter when you're shy!"
"I... gh!" He couldn't even speak, his face heating up uncomfortably. "How is this so strong, I don't- gーah!"
As he moved away to inspect the potion, you hid a laugh behind your hand, giggling as you watched him read the bottle and sniff at its contents. Finally, he opted to just try the potion, tipping the bottle back against his lips.
He turned back to where you stood, laughing silently in your spot. "Hey, this isn't-"
"That was- that was a pretty- pfff- hahaha!" You giggled immaturely. "That was a pretty passionate indirect kiss! I didn't know you felt the same way!"
"Wh- huh?!" His cheeks burned as he realized what had just happened. "Wーwait... that's..."
"Actually, if you really do feel the same way, for real, for real, I mean..." you leaned on his desk again, averting your eyes, suddenly feeling shy. "I can... maybe give you a more direct one..."
☆ J. VIPER
You huffed, following Jamil out the door, trailing behind him like a lost puppy. "You didn't even listen to what I was gonna say!"
"I don't need to. You're going to ask a ridiculous favour of me, aren't you?" He sighed, halting suddenly.
As he stopped, you bumped into his back, almost dropping the bottle. "I am not! I just wanted to ask you if this works or not! You're super good at magic, right? Azul even told me how you figured out that potion that Riddle couldn't! Riddle freakin' Rosehearts!"
"Keep your voice down!" He hushed you, pulling you into the changing room. "That octo-scammer..."
"The point is! You can help me test this love potion, right?" You asked, holding out the glass. "Oh, unless you want me to ask Kalim, and make a mess, plus risking him going all gaga googly-eyed at me!"
He snatched the bottle from you. "Just test it on someone else that isn't Kalim. Like... that Octavinelle housewarden!"
"Why not test it yourself, huh?" You egged him on, plucking the bottle from his grip.
"Be...cause... it wouldn't work on me! It doesn't look very strong, so someone of my caliber could easily resist its effects." He eyed your hands nervously.
"Uh huh. Sure." You leaned closer to him. "Then why suggest Azul? He's a strong magic-user, arguably strong enough to counter you! He even resisted your signature spell!"
"I didn't think of that." The lie fell from his lips smoothly... or as smooth as you can get when your crush someone's face is inches from yours.
"Or maybe... the reason it wouldn't work on you is..." you dropped your hand on the wall beside him, trapping him. "Because you're already in love with me?"
"Ghー" his eyes widened and his face warmed. "What kind of-"
"Which is super awesome, 'cause I've been looking for a chance you ask you out too!" You finished with a grin.
He crossed his arms, slipping out from between you and the wall. "Whーwhatever, I have basketball soon, so don't do anything stupid before-"
"Whoaー! I got a picture of a cute little shrimpy and a sea snake mating! C'mere, crabby, look!"
"By the Seven... Floyd, Ace!" He slipped out the door, shoes squeaking against the gym floor.
"Bye Jamil! I'm gonna go find Kalim to-"
"Don't you dare!"
My Baby Girl
Character/Fandom: Austin Butler
Requested: Yes - anon(s)
Prompt: You’re pregnant with Austin’s baby. This is the whole shebang, friends, from the test all the way to the birth. [ Fem!Reader ]
TW: Pregnancy stuff, body negativity/self-shaming, probably pregnancy inaccuracies lolol
Rating: Pg || Word Count: 3275
A/N: Pregnancy fics are...not my specialty 😅 I gotta be honest w y'all the smutty stuff is way more my speed lmao. but hopefully, this isn't too horrible. i am so sorry if you don't like the baby's name but it's the only one i could think of to make sense. Requests are open, as always 💕
You nervously tap your foot as you sit on the couch and wait for Austin to get home. He’s been out doing press for “Elvis” for the last few hours, but you have something incredibly important to tell him. It's something that can't wait. You grip the tiny white stick in your hand like it's a lifeline. In some ways, it is. Or will be someday. You hear the door open and the scuttle of Austin’s feet as he comes into the house. You gulp and call his name.
“Austin, baby,” you say, your smile faltering even though you don't mean it to. “I have something really important to tell you.”
He comes into the living room, looking sexy as ever. But also tired. You momentarily think about telling him another day but decide against it. He needs to know now. He kisses you quickly and then sits down on the couch.
“What is it, love?” he asks, rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb. You bite your lip nervously and take a deep breath.
“I’m pregnant,” you spit out and wait anxiously for his response. He's silent for a minute, staring at you without any expression. Within a matter of seconds, a smile begins to break across his face. You breathe a sigh of relief and smile back at him. He says nothing but gestures to your stomach.
“Of course,” you respond. “Although I don’t think you’ll feel anything quite yet. I just took the test today.”
He places his hand on your stomach anyway, spreading his fingers out, and just taking in the fact that you're going to have a baby together. Your own baby.
“Are you happy?” you ask.
“I’ve never felt happier in my life,” he replies.
He leans forward on the couch and gently grabs your face with both hands, bringing your lips to his for a soft kiss. When you pull back, he starts showering your body with kisses. He kisses your forehead, your cheeks, your neck, and all over your face. Somehow, he ends up on top of you on the couch. You wind up giggling and trying to push him off of you. He finally stops and looks down at you, hovering over your body. He brushes a piece of hair behind your ear and his eyes flick to your lips for a brief moment. Your heart flutters.
“You’d better get off of me,” you say, laughing. “This is how we made the baby the first time.”
He smiles and kisses your lips one more time.
~ 6 weeks in ~
It's been roughly six weeks since you first told Austin you're pregnant, and things have been going very nicely. Even though you aren't showing yet, you're constantly looking in the mirror trying to see some evidence of your baby growing inside you. It's finally the day of your first appointment and, like a good baby daddy, Austin is tagging along.
You're nervous waiting in the office but having Austin there holding your hand and grinning from ear to ear like an idiot is certainly helpful. Finally, the doctor calls you back. She runs some tests, confirms that you are pregnant, and does an ultrasound. You grip Austin’s hand while the doctor moves the instrument around your skin trying to find the tiny sweet-pea-sized baby growing in your belly. You gasp when you see a tiny white dot floating around on the screen.
“Ope, there’s your baby!” the doctor says excitedly. You smile up at Austin, and he kisses the top of your head. He walks close to the monitor and puts his fingers up to the tiny being as if he can touch it through the screen.
“It’s not even the size of my hand and I already love it more than anything,” he whispers, and you smile.
~ 3 months in ~
Roughly 16 weeks later, things have started to get slightly more annoying, and you are definitely showing. You can already see stretch marks appearing. Your feet are swollen more than usual, and you feel like a big lumbering oaf. You can't imagine what's to come if this is only the first trimester. Your belly has started to grow rounder and stick out, but not big enough to look pregnant yet.
As you stare at yourself in the mirror, you just feel fat and ugly. You try not to pay attention to it, knowing that it's only going to get worse. But some days you just can't take it. This is one of those days. You and Austin are supposed to be going out for dinner, but you can't fit into any of your best clothes. Everything is so much tighter than it used to be, and you're in no mood to be uncomfortable.
Panic rising in your chest, you start to throw clothes out and onto the ground. You dig through your neatly folded clothes and make your closet a huge mess. Austin comes into the closet while you're in the middle of trying to desperately and angrily stretch out a shirt to fit your pregnant body.
“Baby, what’s going on in here?” he asks, holding his hands up to stop you from struggling. Once he gets the shirt away from you, you collapse onto the piles of clothes and start to cry profusely. He gets down on the ground next to you and pulls you into his lap. You cry and cry, grasping onto his shirt for stability of some kind. He rubs your back calmly.
“Shhh, shhh, baby, everything’s alright. Everything’s gonna be just fine, my love,” he whispers softly, pressing kisses to your hair. You sniffle, looking up at him through tears.
“Now, do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he asks, brushing your hair out of your face. “I’m always here for you, you know that.”
“I hate myself,” you say, and the tears start to come again.
“No, babe, what do you mean? How could you hate something so perfect?” he asks. “There’s nothing to hate about you. Not one thing.”
“Yes there is!” you wail. “My body is hideous. I have stretch marks everywhere, and I’m getting fat and swollen. None of my cute going out clothes fit, and it’s only going to get worse from here. It’s like everything I was ashamed of before is blown up three times as big now.”
Austin shifts so he can reach your face. His finger slides under your chin and tilts your face up to his. He wipes a few tears from your cheeks and then leans down to catch your eyes. Even though you're too embarrassed to look at him, when you accidentally make eye contact you can't break away from his beautiful blue eyes. They're so filled with love that your tears almost stop immediately. You sniffle again and reach out to touch his face with a finger.
“I love you,” he says. “I love you more than anything in this world, the next one, or any other universe that might be out there. Because you are the most beautiful thing in any universe. Do you know how lucky I feel every single day that I’m with you? That I’m with someone who is so incredibly out of my league?”
You scoff, wiping snot from your nose to prove that he's wrong.
“Don’t do that. Don’t downplay yourself like that, love. You are beautiful, you are strong, and you are damn sexy. I’ll love you no matter what you look like. But it doesn’t matter, because you’re always beautiful to me, inside and out. You’re everything I could possibly have asked for in a partner, and in a mother for my baby. And I just know our baby will be the most beautiful baby in the world, cause it’s gonna look like its mama.”
You've stopped crying, in awe of the words he's saying to you. How could anyone be so giving, so selfless, so kind?
“But I’m just gonna get fatter,” you say. “And then I’ll be fat after I have the baby and…”
“Shhh,” he interrupts you. “You’re really gonna make me go through all the things I love about you? I’ll do it.”
He leans over to grab your foot. He presses a kiss to the top of it.
“I love this foot,” he says before pressing a kiss to your shin. “I love this leg.”
He moves up your whole body, kissing every part of you and following by saying how much he loves each section of your body. He’s finally reached your lips, and he slies his hand around your neck, bringing you to him. He kisses you firmly, holding onto you as strongly as he can.
“Goddamn do I love those lips,” he says with a smile, and you giggle. His head bends down, and he moves your t-shirt off of your stomach to press three kisses on the swollen skin.
“And most of all I love this tummy,” he says, laying his head on it and looking at you. “Because it’s carrying our baby. Our love. The biggest way we can show it off.”
You run your fingers through his hair with a weak smile. Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in your stomach and yank on Austin’s hair with a gasp. His head flies off your stomach and he stares down at your tummy in shock. Your mouth falls open.
“Oh my god!” you shout.
“A kick! I think,” you finish his sentence. You both pause, waiting to see if it will happen again. It doesn't and your smile starts to fade. Austin gets down close to your belly again.
“Hey little baby, mommy and I would really like to feel you again. Can you say hi?” he mumbles against the skin and then replaces his cheek. You both stare at each other for a minute and then another kick comes. Your hands fly to your face, and you squeal. Austin sits back up and kisses you passionately, smiling the whole way through.
“See, look how amazing your body is, babe,” he says, gesturing at your stomach. “You’re literally growing a tiny human being in there. There’s nothing more amazing than that. God, I can’t wait for him to get here.”
You shake your head in disbelief.
“I’m sorry…him?” you ask. “No, no, no it’s gonna be a girl.”
“I’ll love it whatever it is,” Austin responds, leaning in for another kiss. “But it’s gonna be a boy.”
You playfully smack him.
“Now get up and get that sexy body dressed. You need food, baby,” he says, standing up and offering you a hand.
He helps you pick out your outfit and showers you with compliments the entire time. You climb into the car and leave for the restaurant. You sit with a smile on your face, gently rubbing circles on your stomach. A thought suddenly occurs to you.
“What should we name it?” you ask.
“Shouldn’t we wait until we know whether it’s a boy or girl?”
“Well, we could prepare for both and then choose when we know.”
Silence falls as you both try to think. Finally, Austin speaks up.
“How about Lisa for a girl….and Dallas for a boy?”
You think for a second.
“I like Dallas. And Lisa…as in Lisa Marie?” you ask.
“Well, we don’t have to use Marie too, but it’ll always be a reminder of this time in our lives. The happiest time,” he says, reaching over to grab your hand. You intertwine your fingers into his and smile.
“Alright…Lisa it is.”
~ 8 weeks + some change in ~
You're huge. Almost nine months into this pregnancy and all of the worst symptoms are starting to hit you. You can't fit into any cute clothes and don't want to try. Everything aches, and you have to get help to stand up after sitting down. You can't get comfortable at night and are sweaty all the time. The little baby is kicking like crazy, angrily and frantically now. Not to mention that your cravings are going crazy. You can't remember the last time you ate something that a normal human being would eat. Today, your craving is potato chips….on ice cream. But not any potato chips or any ice cream. You have to have chocolate ice cream and Ruffles salted potato chips. You come down the stairs like a ravenous beast.
“Austin,” you practically growl.
He looks up with concern at your urgent tone. You're gripping the banister to the stairs, white-knuckled.
“I need ice cream and potato chips,” you say desperately.
“D…do you need it now?” he asks, almost afraid.
You curl your fingers deeper into the wood and grate your teeth.
“Yes, now,” you hiss. You don't mean to be mean, you can't help it. It literally feels like your entire body will die if you don't get ice cream and potato chips right that second. Austin jumps up and immediately gets the keys to the car. He knows the drill at this point. You feel horrible for constantly for putting him through so much and being rude about it, but your body is literally fighting you.
“Ruffles chips. I don’t care about the ice cream.”
He starts to run out the door, but you call him back.
“Thank you. I’m sorry. I love you,” you say with a small smile. He returns a quick smile and then rushes out. While he's gone, you veg on the couch and flick through the tv stations, feeling irritated. You try to take deep breaths and remember not to take it out on Austin when he gets back. You really are like a voracious wild animal and jump out of your seat when the garage door sounds. You run out to the car to meet him and snatch the grocery bag from his hands. By the time he’d come inside behind you, you're already tearing the bag of chips open. He gently takes it from your grasp.
“Hold up there, tiger. Let me put it in a bowl will you? Jesus,” he says, shaking his head.
“Sorry…I just…I need it so bad,” you whine.
“You know there was a time you said that about my-”
You hold your hand up.
“Not now, Austin. Don’t even.”
He scoops your ice cream into a bowl and arranges the chips in a little circle on the top. You appreciate the effort and feel terrible that you're about to absolutely demolish it in a matter of seconds. He hands it to you, and you snatch it, running back to sit down in the living room.
“Thank you. I love you!” you yell between bites of food.
“No problem, baby. I’m glad I can make you happy. I love you, too.”
~ that night ~
It's the middle of the night when you groan yourself awake. You roll around for a few minutes, clutching your stomach. Somehow, you're able to fall back asleep for a few hours but are awoken again by intense pains. It is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. You figure it's just pregnancy pains until you stand up to go to the bathroom, and they intensify.
“Owwwww!” you shout, tensing what feels like every muscle in your body.
“What’s wrong, baby girl?” Austin has turned over in his sleep and is peering at you through the dark.
“Austin, grab the bag,” you say, already waddling to the closet to get dressed.
He bounces out of bed and grabs your pregnancy panic bag. He helps you hastily get some clothes on, you hold onto him as you somehow get down the stairs. You are breathing in and out, trying to make it through the pain. You've had to stop a few times to rest and catch your breath. But eventually, you make it into the car and Austin is zooming to the hospital. He's holding your hand and driving with the other, which is making you nervous. Not to mention that he is most definitely speeding.
“Honey, could you slow down?”
“Sorry, sorry,” he says, slowing down immediately. You smile painfully and squeeze his hand.
You arrive at the hospital and Austin helps you out and inside before he runs back out to find parking. The nurses help you into your hospital gown and get you ready and comfortable.
“Oh dear,” one of them says, and you sit up panicked.
“What? What?” you ask. It never seems good when medical staff say things like that.
“Honey, you’re going to give birth very soon. Did you call the hospital when these pains started?”
“No they only started less than an hour ago.”
“Well, you must have slept through them, then. Becuase you are extremely dilated,” she says, shaking her head. “Like less than an hour dilated.”
“I-” you stop in your tracks, realizing that the first bout of pain you felt had been the beginning of your labor. You sit back and try to relax, thankful that it probably won't be much longer. Austin comes running in with wild hair and a half-zipped jacket. You try to laugh at his wild appearance but it just turns into a groan.
“Are you alright? How are you doing? Can I get you anything?” he asks rapidly, searching your body all over to make sure you actually are doing alright.
“Yes, thank you. I’m fine. I just…want it out,” you hiss.
He sits down in a chair that's been pulled up to the side of the bed and holds your hand softly. You squeeze his fingers and breathe through the pain for the next hour or so until the nurse finally says it's time. She helps you sit up a little and more people in white lab coats and scrubs come rushing into the room.
“Okay, the baby is crowning,” the doctor says, and you grip onto Austin’s hand.
“You’re doing great, baby girl,” he says, smiling and holding your hand between his fingers. You hiss out breaths as you begin to push with the doctor’s guidance.
It's definitely painful, but everything is going so fast that by the time you realize the baby is out, you're already starting to lay down. The doctors help you finish the birthing process and then take the baby to clean it up and run tests. You and Austin have chosen not to know the gender of your baby beforehand. Even though there is sweat all over your forehead, Austin brushes your hair back and kisses the hot skin.
“You did so good, mama,” he says quietly and smiles. “I love you so much.”
You weakly smile back. After a while, one of the nurses returns with a little bundled blanket. A pink bundle.
“Congratulations!” she says. “It’s a girl!"
You smile, trying not to let the tears in your eyes fall as you accept the tiny thing into your arms. Austin is sitting on the edge of the bed with his arm around your shoulders. You stick your finger out and your baby hooks onto it with a hand.
“Little baby Lisa,” you say, smiling breathlessly.
“She’s beautiful,” Austin says, gently touching her forehead. He rubs a thumb on her forehead and leans down to kiss her. “I love you. And I love you.”
He angles his head to give you a kiss. You smile into it and when he pulls back, you gently touch his cheek.
“I love you too.”
“My two baby girls,” Austin says. “The lights of my life.”
He kisses your forehead again and then you both look back to the sleeping baby in your arms. Your baby girl.
**If you notice any triggers or grammatical errors that I missed, please let me know! :)
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