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cumikering · 5 months

Text

Keegan Russ x reader

3.5k | fluff, second chance, childhood friends

You matched with Keegan on Tinder

@glitterypirateduck’s holiday challenge, inspired by I Don’t Do Drugs by Doja Cat

“No way.” You shook your head. “Not Keegan goddamn Russ.” You chuckled as you stared at his profile.

It had been over 15 years since you saw him last. His teeth might have been straight, bowl cut replaced by a far more fitting fade cut, but his sharp blue eyes and easy smile remained. They were unmistakable.

This dude hadn’t crossed your mind in years, but you were pleasantly surprised to see he’d grown to be a tall and athletic Marine. You hated to admit that he got hot, even that not having a stupid haircut wasn’t a very high bar to begin with.

You zeroed in on his smile again. He was attractive and he knew it. He couldn’t have been there for anything serious.

You laughed to yourself. “What the hell,” you said and swiped right on him.

At the other end of town, Keegan laid in bed, swiping mindlessly on his phone. Left… Left… Oh!? … Yeah, another left… Until his hand froze when he saw your card.

“Goddamn,” he muttered as he rolled to his side, clutching his phone. Where the hell were you all this time?

He took his time ogling your photos. The first one was a full body picture, your figure on display in your tight jeans. The second was a selfie, your eyes bright, donning a brilliant smile and glossy lips. The last two were group photos. He loved your style – comfortable yet tasteful. Your genuine laughter and the twinkle in your eye as you sat among your friends mesmerised him.

Okay, so you were the life of the party.

Keegan often worried about not having enough to say and preferred chattier dates who’d lead the conversation. Evidently, he didn’t have to worry about that with you… Because you probably wouldn’t even look at him twice. With looks like that, you could have anyone.

He lied on his back and gawked at your selfie again, biting his lip.

“What the hell,” he said to himself and swiped right.

He nearly dropped his phone on his face when it chimed right away. It’s a match! He gasped.

He stared at the empty chat window, fingers drumming on his thigh as he contemplated what to say. He wished he had more game.

After a minute, he settled with a simple Hi, hope you’re doing alright :) are you from the area?

You seemed a little quiet the first day of texting, but he’d expected that, a usual occurrence in his endeavour. Keegan didn’t relent, coming up with discussions, although some he had to admit were rather lame. Soon, you asked him specific questions about himself, allowing the conversation to pour throughout the days. He stopped thinking too hard when replying.

As it turned out, you were from the same hometown. You went to different high schools, but had a few mutual friends, although none he knew anymore. He barely kept in contact with anyone back home safe for the handful of his close high school friends.

Now that he reached for his phone far more often on base, grinning at that, it took no time for people to notice the newfound habit.

“We need to tell command someone’s hardly working.” Ajax nudged Kick, nodding at Keegan at the far end of the rec room. “He keeps looking at that one selfie.”

He chuckled. “If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t get catfished, bro.”

“Or ghosted.” Ajax roared in laughter. He had no business sounding so proud of his pun.

Keegan’s eyes narrowed at them before looking back down at his phone. He wasn’t going to let his buddies stop him from sending you the What kind of bread are you? quiz.

At night, it’d also become a routine to text. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but it grew to be the highlight of his day. He could unwind and laugh with you without having to wait long to have you text back. His bed felt less empty, a little less cold.

“I’d really like to meet you. You’re wonderful,” he said longingly at his phone.

He knew he wanted to after the third day, but didn’t initiate a date in fear of moving too fast and appalling you. But after over a week, with his next deployment inching closer, he’d grown impatient and a bit mad at himself for overthinking the matter. He didn’t remember asking anyone on a date being that unnerving.

Unprompted, your name flashed across his screen, sending his heart racing. Keegan sat up and cleared his throat before answering.

“Hey,” he said with as much smoothness as he could muster.

“Hi, Keegan.”

He could hear the smile in your voice, and he prayed he had even a fraction of the effect you had on him, on you.

“I was wondering if you’re into soccer?”

His brows furrowed. Hell no, he wasn’t at all.

“You want to watch the World Cup screening with me Saturday night?”

But for you? Well for you, he was the biggest fan in town.

“Sure,” he answered immediately. He couldn’t believe his ears. Was it Christmas already?

“For dinner, there’s a taco truck I like near the sports bar, if you’d like to try.”

He tried not to smile too much, but he was failing miserably. He was two seconds away from puking out the butterflies in his stomach.

“Sounds great,” he breathed. “I’m looking forward to meeting you.”

“Me too.” Your easy voice calmed him.

Kick’s comment crossed his mind. He stilled for a moment and decided he didn’t care what you looked like. The little of you he got to know the past week was enough to get him hooked.

“Well, I only wanted to ask that. I’m going to bed.”

“So soon?”

You let out a small laugh. Oh, he wanted to stay on the phone all night.

“Talk to you again tomorrow, okay? Send me more quizzes.”

After you hung up, he bit down a silly grin as he pulled up your photos again.

The following night, struck with a sudden burst of confidence, Keegan called when you were both in bed. He’d expected the pauses on his end (which was why he always preferred texting), but you didn’t seem to mind. At least he knew you weren’t opposed to talking to him. You stayed on the line for half an hour, your laughter lulled his reeling mind.

Saturday couldn’t have come sooner. He’d shaved that morning and put on some cologne before taking way too long to pick an outfit. He hoped it didn’t look like he was trying too hard.

You declined his offer to pick you up. He didn’t take it personally - he was a patient man after all. But when he’d arrived a little too early, he started to lose his cool the longer he leaned on the streetlamp.

He had to do a double take when he caught sight of you walking towards him. Oh, look at the way you lit up, your smile the same brilliant one like in your photos. You were in those delightful jeans again, your hair bouncing to your steps. He straightened up and met you halfway.

“Hi,” you said when you got to him.

“Hey.” His smile didn’t waver. “You look great.”

You took the words out of his lips, the words that he already had so few of. This was the opposite of catfish because you were far prettier in real life. He needed you to hold his hand because he wasn’t going to look where he was going.

He couldn’t wait to brag to Kick and Ajax.

You looked up at him, eyes bright. “Thank you. You look nice yourself.”

He followed you to join the short queue. He stole a glance as you ordered.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” he said to the cook, giving your hand a gentle nudge when you tried to pay.

First skin contact. Innocent enough.

But why did it get so warm all of a sudden? He hoped he wasn’t sweating. Fuck, he didn’t know what to do with his hands. Should he shove them in his pockets? How close was the acceptable distance to stand next to you?

Well, he certainly stood close enough for you to catch a faint waft of his cologne.

You meant it when you said he looked good. He wore a light jacket over a black shirt, light washed jeans and sneakers. His jet black hair was styled, a little longer than in his photos. The way he stood with his hands in his pockets accentuated his build, his watch a nice touch.

Sure, curiosity got you at first. It quickly came to light that he didn’t recognise you – granted you used a nickname – but you found it amusing nonetheless. You didn’t even mean it to get that far but after talking to him, you couldn’t help but want more.

Dating was always daunting; putting your heart on the line like that rendered you vulnerable. It wasn’t that he didn’t reciprocate – his company was delightful, but whatever you had between you felt stagnant. You thought your initial assumption was right: he wasn’t looking for anything more. Was this a mistake after all?

You sat on the bench nearby, the drinks between you. You took two bites before you stalled.

Your face twisted. “Why’s this hot?”

“Is it? Mine isn’t at all.”

“It is ridiculously hot.” You blinked the tears away.

“Can’t be. Let me try.”

You handed him the taco, instead he grabbed your wrist and leaned in for a bite.

He gave you an amused smile. “It’s not hot at all. Here, I’ll have yours.”

By now, a few drops of sweat had broken out of your forehead. You didn’t question it when he swapped the paper plates on your thighs and took a huge bite.

It wasn’t supposed to be hot! This was so uncool, at your first meeting at that. Your gaze trained on the ground as you took a small bite of his which actually tasted normal. When you looked up, it was his turn to frown.

“Wait. It is.” He put the taco down. ”It is hot.”

“I told you!”

“Oh God. Oh shit,” he hissed, scrambling for his drink. “Why is it so hot?”

You stifled a giggle. “They must have put the wrong sauce in mine, because yours tastes fine.”

“My tongue had never known such pain. What the hell is in this thing?” He continued gulping down his drink. “Oh no, it’s getting worse.” He sniffled before shoving the last half into his mouth.

“You know you don’t have to eat it, right?” You busted into laughter as he chew with all his might. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

His brows knitted, the agony in his watery eyes as clear as day. You handed him a serviette.

“That’s inhumane, but I’m a man of my word,” he said between hisses, wiping at his forehead. “My mouth is on fire. I need to inhale fire extinguisher.”

You could only offer him your drink which he gladly chugged. Still giggling, you finished your meal before making your way to the bar.

“I’m sorry, that was really embarrassing.” He grimaced through his drying tears, forehead still damp. “But at least you’re laughing. I like it when you laugh.”

You wanted to kiss him right then.

Keegan was the first man to make you willingly lose sleep in a long time, but his inaction didn’t sit right with you. Self-doubt inevitably crept up - maybe you simply weren’t his type, but you were too hooked to not at least shoot your shot despite your mounting fear of rejection. Your heart lodged in your throat when you called him that night.

Oh but his voice was so calm and soothing, and what for? He got you hanging onto every word - some straight up sounded like he was purring. Like now, he had to lean in closer and closer to talk over the noise as the bar continued to fill up. The deep rumble of his laughter so close in your ear got you biting your lip.

You didn’t want to like him so much, but here you were smiling non-stop the past hour. He’d taken his jacket off, his sturdy arms on display as he lied back. Now that was the highlight of his outfit. It didn’t help that he kept looking at you like that either; blue eyes piercing, brows striking with a cool smile.

It was unfair how effortlessly charming he was, like it was simply an unfortunate by product of being Keegan Russ, like he didn’t even mean it.

Well, evidently, Keegan was literally sweating about the humiliating incident. He sincerely hoped you wouldn’t excuse yourself to the bathroom to stand him up, but the smile hadn’t left your pretty face ever since. That was a good sign right?

Halfway into the first half, he extended his arm along the back of your seat, eyes still on the screen pretending to not notice the way your lips curled in amusement. You dragged your chair against his, thighs touching now. His fist clenched when you placed your hand on his knee.

He was secretly glad this was your first date – if he could even call it that. At least there was no pressure to keep making conversation and he could focus on your company, which he thoroughly enjoyed thus far. Was wrapping his arm around your waist an appropriate next move? He itched to be closer.

“How long have you been on Tinder?” You turned to him during halftime.

“A few months now.”

“Any luck?”

He looked away, shaking his head. “I don’t get a lot of matches, and when I do - even after many weeks of talking… Well as it turned out, people just aren’t very interested in dating long distance.”

When his eyes flicked up and met your sympathetic look, he wondered if he shouldn’t have been so honest.

“You? Any luck so far?” he asked quickly.

“I went on a few dates with someone who looked an awful lot like my first crush.” You let out a small laugh. “But that’s all. It didn’t work out.”

A speck of jealousy flickered in his chest. “Tell me about him. Your first crush.”

“Well, I was a late bloomer. It was in high school, he was a sophomore when I was a freshman.”

“Handsome dude?”

“Yes, but I actually never spoke to him.” You tilted your head and smiled. “Well, I did once, kind of. I don’t know what possessed me, but one day I walked up to him and gave him a bar of chocolate. He said thanks, and that was it.”

You looked over him. The crowd had started to move towards the bar

“I’ll get us more drinks before the wait gets too long.” You stood up.

Keegan perked up; he wasn’t going to miss his chance. When you came back, he’d mustered all his courage to tug on your wrist in the direction of his parted thighs. There was a glint in your eye as you indulged and he snaked his arm behind you, hand on his knee. You had a playful smile on your lips when you moved it to your waist and wrapped your arm around his neck.

He leaned onto your shoulder, his chest pressing against your side. He watched the way your eyes transfixed on the screen, how your glass would freeze against your lower lip at times. He couldn’t help smiling when you tensed up whenever someone got close to scoring a goal. His other arm wrapped around your waist.

He hadn’t taken his eyes off you when the bar erupted in cheers. You turned to him with a proud grin. Oh, your lips were just right there. He wasn’t going to survive the night.

Your favourite team won and you left the bar beaming. You were glad he offered to walk you home because you still wanted his presence. Your fingers curled around his forearm.

“I didn’t get to ask about your first crush.”

He chuckled to himself. “We were in fifth grade.”

“You ever told her?”

He shook his head. “She hated me. My friends used to tease her about her weight. I didn’t join in but I hung around anyway. I guess when you’re young you do dumb things to fall in.”

You remembered the raucous boys he hung out with.

“Over the summer, I convinced myself to finally say something, but she’d moved away.”

Had he not looked at where you were going, he’d have seen the shock on your face. Your heart skipped a beat. Is he talking about me?

“What was she like?”

“My memory’s fuzzy now, but she had two other girlfriends they teased too but she always stood up for them. Oh, was sassy too.” He smiled. “I used to stand around to overhear her jokes. If I laughed along, she’d stare me down until I left.”

You laughed, too hard for someone who supposedly wasn’t involved in the story. You remembered that too, the way prepubescent Keegan Russ and his dumb bowl cut scrambled away when you gave him bombastic side eye.

You couldn’t believe it. He had a crush on you?

“I think had I spoken up, we’d have been good friends.” He glanced at you with a smile. “You know, when I heard she’d moved away, I came home crying and my mum smacked me upside the head. Told me not to hang around with the shithead boys anymore.”

You stopped in your tracks and took your hand off his arm. “You really don’t recognise me?”

He turned to you, brows furrowed. “What?”

“You used to paste Superman stickers on my Barbie backpack.”

Keegan’s eyes widened. He turned away, a hand over his face, laughing out of pain. No fucking way. He wanted to disappear.

You chuckled. “A new one whenever I managed to peel the previous one off. Said they were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I don’t recognise you at all.” He lowered his hand. “But you don’t even have the same name?”

“It’s the internet. You’re the weird one for using your real name.”

His brows rose. “You knew it was me all along?”

“Right away.”

“And you didn’t say anything?” He shook his head. “That’s just mean.”

“Was wondering if you remembered, but we were kids. I’m not surprised you didn’t recognise me or forgot.”

The corner of his lips pulled. “Well, I didn’t forget.” And probably won’t. You haven’t left my mind the past week.

And that voice was back, of course. He definitely knew what he was doing, and still you couldn’t get enough.

“Wait, no. Is this it?” He frowned. “Did you talk to me the entire time- meet me just for this?”

“No! No. I wanted to see you.” The edge in his voice stung more than you expected. “I… I didn’t think you’d even want to, because you didn’t make a move.”

His cold eyes searched yours, making your heart ache. If only he knew how much he made you smile, how many times a day you wished he’d replied when you checked your phone. You never wanted to see that pain in his face again.

“Please don’t lead me on,” he finally said, his gaze softening. “Not when you know you don’t want this.”

You wanted to hold him. “I promise I won’t. I know it’s early to say, but I want to try.”

He took a small step towards you. “Are you sure you like me?”

Suddenly he was once again the young Keegan who couldn’t meet your eyes, asking if you wanted to share the last of his favourite chocolate with him.

“Are you?”

“Positive.” His icy blues were back on you. You saw the wary hopefulness in them.

You closed the gap, arms wrapping around his waist. You let out a small sigh as your head rested on his shoulder.

“May I see you again?” He pulled you closer, his voice lighter now. “I want to go on a date. A real one, with my first crush with the death stare.”

You laughed against his neck.

Keegan hated getting ahead of himself, not knowing how many more times his hopes could be shattered before the shards got to small to meet again. But as he held you, he let his mind drift, just a little further, just this time.

With his eyes closed, he thought that maybe in the future - perhaps soon enough, someone would be waiting at the base to welcome him back with a smile and an embrace just like this.

More Keegan: fake dating, werewolf AU

A/N: I think the song represents the uncertainty in the initial stages of falling, when you keep trying to swallow the hopefulness, cautious of each other’s intentions as to not get hurt. It takes bravery handing your heart over to a stranger, unsure if they’ll just stomp on your feelings or be the best thing ever.

@sofasoap @b1rds3ye @macravishedbymactavish @shadofireshinobi @two-gh0sts

#codholiday2023 #call of duty #cod #cod fanfic #keegan x reader #call of duty ghosts #cod ghosts #keegan russ x reader #keegan russ x you #cod x reader #cod x you #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #cod fluff #call of duty fluff #keegan russ fluff #keegan russ #keegan p russ #brian bloom u my fave tuker tambah dong

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rustboxstarr · 1 year

Text

Modern Eddie Munson headcons pt2

Thank you to @strangerthings64 for the request for pt 2!

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drugs (weed), porn. Inapropriate jokes/dirty jokes, allusions to men being disgusting (well they always are) on public transport

Masterlist

🚬 This bitch will go my precious in a Gollum voice while tapping his fingers when you take your top off.

🚬 will send you 10 minutes worth of snapchat videos and get cut off mid sentence then proceed to complain about it in the next.

🚬Eddie Munson HATES pop and hip hop, but once he starts dating you he’s conflicted because he hates the basicness of it and the people who listen to it, but watching you twirl around with Robin drunk and in your element on the dance floor looking so mother fucking sexy swerving your hips in circles to Hey Mickey! By Baby Tate he’s starting to wonder if he might appreciate live stream hip pop.

🚬 Will scroll through Instagram forgetting you’re on a call or on FaceTime with each other and suddenly starts singing incredibly off key to whatever playing on his Google nest.

🚬Facetimes you while he’s cooking and you have to endure watching him shriek and scurry away from the frying pan when hot oil hits his skin.

🚬 Refuses to show his Spotify stats when the group went through theirs because he discovered Woman by Doja Cat had earned the top 6th place.

🚬His whole tiktok is just a bunch of bullshit, like he will be sat next to u scrolling tiktok and suddenly start pissing himself with laughter and showing u this

🚬 FUCKING binges top gear, especially when high.

🚬When this mf gets drunk he’s handsy, ALL OVER HANDS, dudes hands are grabbing your ass, squeezing your titties, pulling your hair cuz he thinks it’s funny all while you’re tryna fight him off you.

🚬 Tried to pick you up once while hammered. He can’t pick you up for very long normally cuz u heavy and this bitch skinny and gangly as fuck but once he gets alcohol in his system. “Eddie you can’t carry me!” “Liquid strength” he motions to his drink “that’s now how it works!” Proceeded to wrap his hands around your thighs, he managed to carry you for a whole second where he was whooping and practically screaming I told you so before loosing his balance and toppling you both onto the floor. Stuck between the end of the couch and a lazy boy.

🚬 On public transport he will sit in the outer edge so you’re against the window and no one can accidentally braze past you. If the bus is full and you’re standing he’ll fucking corner you so no one can accidentally or purposely cop a feel.

🚬Sent a video once on Snapchat where he’s talking with a cigarette in his mouth, and the he dropped it and it burned a hole in the crotch of his jeans.

🚬 No doubt will buy dog leashes and cut the fabric off to use the chains as accessories (totally don’t do that myself…)

🚬 licks your face, need I say more?

🚬took a picture of you bent over tying your boots and drew in a stick figure behind you, he wrote tappin dat ass and posted it to his story

🚬Eddie Munson has instagram, but never posts, but when you finally wear him down he posts the UGLIEST photos of u, his profile picture is you covered in pimple patches with your hair in a fucking mess, two straws sticking out your nose

🚬Watched a porn video the night before you came over, then when you were set to leave in his van his phone automatically connected to Bluetooth while the FAKEST moans bellowed out of the tinny speakers.

#80s #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson has adhd #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson smut #Eddie Munson headcons #Eddie Munson plus size reader #Eddie Munson x plus size reader #Eddie Munson x reader #modern Eddie #modern Eddie Munson #modern Eddie Munson headcons #modern Eddie headcons #headcanon #headcon

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cowgurrrl · 11 months

Text

Yo Gotti

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: MOM JUNE’S BEING UNHINGED ON THE INTERNET AGAIN

Summary: You and Joel read thirst tweets together. Chaos ensues. [1.2k]

Warnings: internet speak, pregnancy, Joel Miller being a Wife Guy

"Hi, I'm Joel Miller," Joel says into one of the Buzzfeed cameras, and you smile as you introduce yourself. "And we are going to readin’ thirst trap tweets today. Both for ourselves and for us as a couple."

"It's gonna be weird," you laugh. "I wanted to do the puppy video, but Joel said no."

"If you weren't pregnant, we could do the puppy video." He says, resting a protective hand on your stomach. You're only twenty-one weeks, but you're way bigger than you were at this point with Sam which makes sense, considering there are two babies instead of one. Still, Joel has been overprotective, bordering on overbearing, as your pregnancy progresses, but you know it's because he loves you so much. Besides, the extra attention is kinda nice. The producer walks over with a bucket full of slips of paper, and Joel lets you choose the first one.

"The way I would let her redacted my redacted redacted," you laugh, and Joel peeks over your shoulder to see just how many 'redacted's there are, and he laughs too. "This is a pretty good one to start with." Joel picks one and immediately furrows his brows, mumbling the words under his breath.

"I don't think I get this one," he admits, and you laugh as you read it. It's a picture of his side profile from one of his music videos, the tweet reading, "What Doja Cat said." "How is that even dirty?" He asks, looking to you for an answer, and you take a deep breath to try and keep a straight face.

"Do you not know what they're talking about?"

"No," he says, and you laugh as you point at the camera.

"If your name is Sarah or Ellie Miller, click off this video now," you say before returning to him. "Doja Cat is a rapper, and she-"

"I know who Doja Cat is."

"Okay, sorry," you roll your eyes dramatically. "Anyways, she said in an interview once that she liked big noses because you can sit on them," you and Joel laugh loudly, a blush creeping up his neck, and you shake your head. "These are fucking unhinged. I love them."

Much of the interview goes that way, you read a few, and then Joel reads a few, and you laugh at them together. Joel doesn't understand a lot of the internet speak, which results in you having to explain it to him in terms he'll understand. You never thought you'd have to explain to your husband what the fuck someone means when they say he put his whole "Joelussy" into his most recent album, Between Oceans. One of them, in particular, makes you raise your eyebrows at him as you hide the paper from him.

"Are you ready for this one?" You ask.

"I don't know. Am I?"

"Say what you want about parasocial relationships, but Joel Miller being crowned Sexiest Man Alive and then him and his wife announcing they're pregnant with twins three months later is so important to me." You read, and he shrugs.

"Those two things are not related."

"Yes, they are." You say, and Joel gives you a look.

"No, they aren't." He doubles down, and you glance between him and the cameras. You bite back a comment about being pretty sure of when he impregnated you once again.

"Are you being serious right now?" You ask instead, and he laughs.

"There's no way!"

"Joel," you say, looking at him seriously like you're trying to transport your thoughts into his head, but he just stares at you. You laugh as you lean in, covering your mic, and whisper in his ear about the night of his cover reveal party back in November.

"Oh!" He yells, suddenly connecting the dots. "Okay, yeah. Those two things are related."

"Thanks, People Magazine!" You laugh as Joel suddenly sits up and points at the camera.

"Hey, if I never get awarded World's Sexiest Man Alive ever again, that's totally fine! No more!" He waves his arms in an X position, and you copy him.

"Yes, he's done! We're done!"

"Was this pregnancy a surprise?" The producer asks, and you rest a hand on your stomach out of habit.

"I mean…" you trail off, looking at Joel. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Sure, we can talk about it."

"We were talking about having one more baby, but we weren't going to plan anything, so we just kinda left it up to chance and…"

"We thought four was a good number." Joel finishes for you, and you nod.

"And hey, guess what's a better number than four?"

"Five," you and Joel say in unison.

"Do you know if you're having fraternal or identical twins?" The producer asks, and Joel looks at you to see if you want to answer.

"They're identical." You say, running a hand over the expanse of your belly, and all the people on set clap. You smile and thank them before diving into the rest of the thirst tweets.

"Well, that was…" Joel tries to find the words as you get to the bottom of the bucket. "Certainly somethin'."

"Joel is famously oblivious to how handsome he is, so I'm glad we could force him to see just how many people, besides me, think he's cute."

"They thought I was more than cute," Joel says, smirking and leaning back in his chair. "What was it that one person said about my nose?"

"Okay, you're done!"

"No, I seriously don't remember. Can you remind me?" You immediately recognize the flirty tone in his voice and playfully shove his face away from you so you can hide the blush on your cheeks. "Do y'all see how she treats me?" Joel laments, and you laugh.

"Oh, you're obviously very neglected."

"I'm just sayin' what the audience is clearly thinkin'," he shrugs. "We should kiss just to put their minds at ease."

"You're worried about the audience's minds now?" You ask, and he hums, already leaning in. You give him a look but kiss him anyways. Six years of marriage and three kids later, and he still makes you feel butterflies in your stomach. You sign off by promoting each of your newest projects and thanking Buzzfeed for the opportunity.

"Do you think more celebrity couples should read thirst tweets together?" The producer asks.

"I don't know if there are any celebrity couples that are as cool as we are," Joel says before you can say anything, and you laugh.

"That's true. We are pretty cool though our kids might disagree."

"They're pretty cool, too," Joel says, and you nod. With that, you wrap and thank the crew for everything.

The day the video goes up, it goes viral with people screaming about Joel's reactions, your laughs, and the People Magazine story. But the thing that they get the most excited about is seeing you two interact. You see one post that says, "This video might as well be called Joel Miller being in love with his wife for six minutes straight," with a picture of you two kissing attached. Joel, never one to shy away from a challenge, posts one of the first pictures of you and him not taken by paparazzi but by him. You're at the beach with your back to his chest, resting between his legs as you two sit in the sand, and his lips are pressed to your temple. In the caption, he writes, "In love with you then. In love with you today. In love with you tomorrow."

Instagram breaks within the hour.

#one for the money two for the show #rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader #rockstar!joel miller #tlou au #the last of us au #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff

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gvftea · 11 months

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does anyone else think paige has been using the boys to gain fame. i know she was a fan before she became their photographer, she’s obviously enjoyed egging everyone on thinking that her and josh dated. now she’s meeting celebrities because of them when in reality her mid photos wouldn’t ever get this type of attention

As usual, you guys are just making random assumptions about stuff you don't know anything about simply because you're delusional and hate seeing women who aren't you being connected to them in any way. First of all, I encourage you to go through Paige's instagram profile or her website- Homegirl was already photographing huge musical icons like JACK WHITE, DOJA CAT and HARRY STYLES before she even met Greta Van Fleet. GVF is not a worldwide phenomenon, they're a moderately-known band, and they were even less known years ago when she met them. So the fact that you think she was leeching off of them when she had already photographed freaking Doja Cat is laughable. Also, I just wanna point out that if her pictures were actually mid, she wouldn't have been hired to photograph the celebrities I mentioned above.

Lastly, part of the reason why Paige, Anna Lee, their makeup artist, Hannah, the girl who appeared in the MTM video and literally all the other women who work with them get so much attention is because you can't keep their names out your mouths, they all live rent-free in your heads, your obsessed with knowing every single detail about them for no reason. It's so unbelievably pathetic and lowkey misogynistic that you all constantly feel the need to put other women down simply because they somehow got opportunities y'all wish you had. Seriously, just say "Ugh, I'm bitter and I wish I were her" and move on, it'd be far easier.

#jake gvf #sam gvf #danny wagner #josh kiszka #danny gvf #sam kiskza #jake kiszka #josh gvf #gvf #greta van fleet #sam kiszka #starcatcher #daniel gvf

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howellslides · 1 year

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i know like “ew tiktok” or whatever but my fyp has been p leftist and fun until for some reason right now because all doja cat did was change her profile picture and suddenly everyone’s an evangelical worried for her soul

#are y’all good #the answer is no actually y’all are not good

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64bitgamer · 1 year

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multipeaches · 2 years

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doja cat profile pictures 🖤

#doja cat #doja cat icons #doja cat profile pictures #doja cat pfp #doja cat pfps #planet her #hot pink #alexa demie #glitter aesthetic #lana del rey #lana del rey icons #ldr #aesthetic #sza #say so #icon site model #icon site girl #woman doja cat #need to know

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ilovegilmoregirls · 2 years

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grammys 2022 icons

leave requests

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chubby-asz · 3 years

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Fast as regret I flash from the gemses If I didn't care what my friends did Friends that pretend Wanna end When you get bit Get slick, get quick Wanna smash shit

Ends with a sniff or a huff from injection I can't handle rejection

#doja cat #4 morant #pfps #imvu characters #profile #pictures #badass #kawaii #aesthetic #cute #avatar #cyber #cyber icons #igot7

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thirsthourdemon · 4 years

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Headcanon on their online platforms but mainly on Twitch, onlyfans stuff, patreon, tumblr

Includes: Demon bros + undateablesss

Genre: Crack, Fluff and slight smut

Warnings: NSFW mentions

||Lucifer

-He didn’t have a big online presence because he was active, no no

-He had an online presence cause everyone always sees him on Diavolo s pictures and such so for a time they shared an audience

-One time Diavolo and Barbatos were doing a thing where they read a book aloud for some sort of game

-Diavolo kind of recorded that for a little bit

-ASMR I TELL YOU

-People liked it so much they suggested for “the one with the deep cold voice”, luci, to do asmr on youtube or something

-He doesn’t know what an Onlyfans is however he does have a patreon.

-Diavolo was interested in the idea and discussed it with him

-HE BLEW UP CAUSE EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT OVER HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS OF COURSE! 😡

-His fandom consists of either people who are interested in what he reads or...Horny people who get off at how proper and low his voice is

-His profile picture is a picture of him with his head cropped out where he’s fixing his gloves

-Luci isnt like super famous but he has a loyal fanbase that appreciates him a lot also lots of simps with daddy issues

-He was confused as to why someone would ask him to be their father

-He gets the daddy kink but why???

-Last post: A picture MC took where he’s holding a whip cause mammon fucked something up 🙂

||Mammon

-Bold of us to assume he didn’t already have one

-You already know why he’s on here.

-He has random content but he mainly got his audience since he kind of tried modeling thing for a while. It was for a big brand on their new jock type jackets

-Mammon really wanted cash at that time and he got the thing over and done with making him a couple more grims richer

-The photographers told him they could transfer the pictures though! So he just saved his pictures because “Who wouldn’t want a picture of THE mammon?”

-That gave him the idea

-His audience? Whoreknee

-They even accept the fact that his captions for some pictures are “You should be honored you get pictures of me”

-He posts that with a blushing face half of the time HAHAHAHA

-Levi found it and just laughed at the pictures

-Surprisingly enough the pictures were actually well taken because MC was forced into em

-His most popular picture was the one with him was actually a picture that the brothers took of him tucking in what appeared to be goldie on a seperate MINI BED WITH A SMALL TOY LAMP BESIDE IT

-He did a QnA for his followers to celebrate on his instagram

-PFFTT He got so many questions about Goldie

-Was dubbed “Goldie’s Daddy” after that

-Last post: A picture of him wearing the new Luxury brand jacket he got and his keys in front of his car with the caption “Daddy’s going for a ride”

||Leviathan

-I’ve always head canon that Levi knows how to draw digital emotes. Like he just picked it up cause he wanted to make fanart of him in henry together 😔

-Also has a red bubble or an etsy where he sells some prints and stickers of fanart 👀

-He went on twitch since there were so many TSL streamers there who just played games while they discussed theories as well

-Levi is an emote artist and while he draws he sometimes just discusses the theories with his fellow Yucky Otakus

-He’s the type to really interact with everyone even though he barely does that in real life

-Sometimes though when he gets packages that fans sent or ones that he ordered he’d stream unboxing them.

-He hates showing his face? Oh dont worry He’s wearing a facemask and all that

-His fandom is genuinely into him. Like they actually like him as a person but kinda once got into a scandal on gatekeeping

-He took a break for a bit but he kind of said sorry and everyone just forgave him because he isn’t really the type to do drama and it was just that one instance-

-Overall loved by the community due to how chill he is and how invested he is on fan theories

-He has a twitter btw and lemme tell you it’s just threads and threads of discussions

-Whenever he does stream unboxing videos though and he shows his shelves everyone freaks out how he has EVERY FUCKING VOLUME OF EVERY ANIME AND GAME

-People sometimes ask him personal questions and he tries his best to try to answer them but he shows a face where he looks uncomfy

-Everyone just bullies anyone who makes him uncomfy giving his fanbase a very protective reputation

-Last post: “Unboxing fanmail L8er @ 10pm LOL CYA GUYS XD”

||Satan

-He has a tumblr. You cant tell me he doesn’t have one.

-He had tumblr like back in the old day though like when porn was still available here.

-Get this...He’s known all through out the academia blogs. He INVENTED Academia

-Satan has 1 blog and that’s it. It’s his main blog and he just posts pictures of the book cover and does essays, reviews or sometimes he writes the ending he wanted to happen.

-Dont get me wrong he has a patreon but only because people loved getting more exclusive takes of stuff like his book notes on certain pages or sometimes his notes and thoughts on Artistic Erotica

-Probably has a Ko-Fi because he though he needed it after most of the blogs he followed had it

-He thinks it should be “Table of Content” and not “Masterlist” so he uses just that

-Profile picture is him wearing his signature washed out green grandma sweater while he has a book in hand and a cup of earl grey on his table

-People go to him falling in love with his aesthetic and Book reviews but they stay in love with him because he is big on one on one discussions actually

-He goes for one on one voice calls where he just...He talks to you about any book of your choosing

-Fans send him tea but he knows better than to eat something a stranger gives so he makes beel take a taste first sometimes but ultimately scolds the boy when he takes too much

-He wasn’t supposed to have merch but everyone liked the idea of small packages (More like letters) that really do look old and vintage

-He usually only give those to the people who pay for the top tier stuff

-It usually contains 1 type of tea, a letter he wrote for them himself and a bookmark with his name stamped on it

-He got the stamp custom made ❤️

-Last post: (Insert 5k word essay)

This is what I thought of Edgar Allan Poe’s “A cask of Amatillado”

Playlist: (Insert soft classic Music playlist on Spotify)

Tea: Black Currant

||Asmodeus

-ONLY FANS THROUGH AND THROUGH

-Is a brand influencer as well

-The brand ambassador of this pretty well known semi-luxury skin care brand

-His devilgram? Perfectly made by his PR team which is just him and solomon

-Before I move onto the NSFW stuff I want to emphasize how Beautiful his instagram is and his aesthetic

-His aesthetic is romantic/sexual tension/Unparalleled beauty

-Also a make up brand influencer and has his own make up line

-something along the lines of “The Devil’s box of charms 🖤”

-The type to DG live whenever he’s just showing off the make up look he did or the outfit he got

-The house of lamentation may have PR packages stacking up due to how most of them have an online influence but out of 10 boxes 7 of them would be for Asmo

-OKAY NOW ONTO NSFW STUFF

-Lemme tell you this...He has a specific drawer and space in his closet just for the sexy outfits he has.

-The demon’s onlyfans has pictures of him just teasing his audience where he’s wearing a black skintight get up and his bulge is showing

-Nudes are for mid and top tiers

-His fandom loves seeing in stocking and chokers

-“The choker is from etsy and here’s the link to their shop~”

-He doesnt completely show his body but...Him in suggestive clothing gets everyone pre cumming

-His fandom is just filled with simps 😔

-He loves them and blows a kiss towards the camera everytime he ends a live

-Probably has had a scandal or 4

-Posted an Ahegao once and everyone lost it

-Has been the face for Ahegaos ever since

-Belle delphine who?

-Definitely tik tok famous too 😎

-Has memorized all of Doja Cat’s songs

-Last post: “Hope you guys are ready for tonight’s session~ 😈” With a picture of him in an Fuchsia and black themed lingerie set. A collar with a bell on it.

-Bonus: One time Solomon summoned him while he was taking pictures and he was still in his lingerie set. 😛

||Beelzebub

-Was originally inspired by Mukbangs Channels so he did them on youtube too

-You get his Mukbangs on your recommended, You subscribe because of his cute and funny reactions whenever someone in the backgrounds is astounded to how much he’s eating

-Everyone knew beel as a cute guy who just does Mukbangs and loves to eat

-He once did a fridge raid and ended up eating everything in the fridge

-That was THE MOST CHAOTIC VIDEO on his channel cause you can just see luci and MC trying to make him stop

-He eventually got a patreon because mammon told him people will give him more money for food like that and to be honest he made a patreon but mammon takes care of it from time to time

-Oh you knew him as this sweet beautiful boy who just likes eating? hERe HavE sOmE WorKOUt pICs

-His body got everyone thirsty or may I say Starving

-S I M P S everywhere

-His patreon content is just him making small videos eating or pictures of him being all sweaty from the gym 😛💦

-“DADDY BWDONMXMSKC PLEASE FEED US”

-“Eh? You should feed me instead” *opens his mouth*

-Fans send him lots of boxes of weird food to see his reaction sometimes

-Did the fire noodle challenge a bit late but everyone is surprised to how he isn’t giving the reaction like they expected him

-Spice tolerance? Unmatched

-His fandom is either “UwU Beel please eat try this!” Or “Daddy Please FEED US WITH YOUR DELICIOUS THIGHS! 😩🥵💦💦💦”

-He does the service where he sends you his body building pictures except he isn’t sending them, Mammon is.

-Manager Mammon 😎 Gets a half of the profit

-Can I just...BeelProbablyHasnevergottenintoanyscandalbuthasalotofhaterssayingthefansonlylikehimforhishandsomefaceandgreatbodyandnicevoicebutlikewhatiswrongwithlikinghimbecauseofthosethings?Itisntbadtolikethatstuffatall

-Last post: “🍙 Thank you to @(Your Username) for the Onigiri! I finished the whole batch! Please send more food”

||Belphegor

-Sleep Guru

-Im sorry but I cant see him having any other social media aside from tumblr, twitter and Devilgram

-Belphie barely checks his phone but he has tumblr because apparently there’s a thing called the SandMan’s Box Community

-It’s like LootCrate, a subscription service that gives you stuff like Comfy Pillow sheets and tea for better sleeping

-This even gives you something like sleeping masks or ear muffs.

-The community is well...nocturnal

-His ask box is always full of his 100+ mutuals who just discuss stuff with him

-Whenever he actually does try to type online he makes articles about the best sleep positions or stuff like that

-His fandom is just loving mutuals who sleep and take care of each other

-They have a discord server where it just plays soft music to help everyone sleep

-Last post: “Humans aren’t so bad when they’re asleep”

||Luke and Simeon

-He has a big following on twitch where he just bakes sweets in his cute little hat and-

-Clearly you can tell I follow him on twitch

-The type of twitch streamer that no one hates on because why would you? He is literally just baking and cute comments

-Sometimes he streams with Simeon and everyone loves both of them

-When people give money they dont give “money” no no...they call donating headpats

-Luke is just so adorable that everyone just...

-“Angel Lulu’s Protection Squad⭐️”

-He got famous when he...He doesnt want to call it a collab but He made a lot of sweets and gave them to beel so everyone freaked out and thought

-THE SWEET BOY THAT EATS A LOT AND THE ANGELIC CHILD THAT MAKES SWEETS A LOT ARE FRIENDS?!

-He is now pissed that everyone thinks they’re friends 😠

-Basically his fans started making dishes and candy inspired by him

-Sometimes they send it in and Simeon has to confiscate some because

-“Im sorry, guys. You are all really sweet and I know that you mean well but Luke isn’t allowed much sweets yet”

-No one ever EVER lewds luke

-Fortunately Luke’s fandom has the least amount of pedophiles because everyone drives them away the moment they try something

-Whenever luke does fan mail/unboxing videos people just adore how Simeon places a glass of water at the table below the camera and the scissors or cutter he uses is child proof

-Even though Luke is the main person on his account everyone also notices Simeon.

-How couldn’t they? He looked like he wanted to make everyone in the audience live a better life

-Add that with luke’s wholesome baking and BOOM! You are now ready for a better life🌟

-Last post: It’s a picture of Luke shyly showing of his new batch of sun and moon shaped sugar cookies. “Sun and Moon. Tune in later at 3 pm to see how we made these!”

||Solomon

-He barely posts but he helps asmodeus with his stuff

-Too busy with anything else but helps out when things get interesting

-Proposes Ideas for Asmo sometimes when the demon doesn’t know what to wear for a live or a story

-Laughs at Asmo sometimes when he gets into scandals and drama

-Happy cameraman ❤️

-People follow him because 1.) He’s hot 2.) The fans ship him with Asmodeus

-Last Post: “When will you learn 🙂”

||Diavolo

-He is a vlogger~ Not a very active vlogger but a vlogger nonetheless

-He films anything he can but he’s more known on tik tok and devilgram rather than twitch or youtube

-People have been thirsting for him ever since and no one can convince me that they dont just shamelessly call him daddy whenever he goes on live

-Barbatos makes sure however that whenever it isnt appropriate anymore that he would tell diavolo to turn the camera off

-Wranggled Luci into his mess and now everyone knows the face of that one dude who just reads documents

-Everyone lowkey ships them

-Diavolo is the type to take a picture of a big meeting or a retreat out of instinct to just document his life

-He actually didnt know about vloggers before but he just liked the thought of documenting it

-Everyone picks up “Master” vibes as they say from him hehehe

-He doesnt have an Onlyfans or patreon 😔😔😔

-I honestly would have subscribed to his services

-Last post: “Barbatos made a delicious meal for us at the retreat today” Along with a picture of the Beautiful Demon Delicacy Spread in the table.

Taglist: No one yet (Please be part of the taglist for more content like this ☹️ It’s getting really discouraging)

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uncanny-tranny · 3 years

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Types of trans girls I know:

Normie: Average with girl-next-door vibes. Probably loves Taylor Swift and/or BTS and fields of sunflowers. Café study sessions and audio books playing softly. Probably plays the acoustic guitar (or flute if she's in band). Either has all-As or all Cs. No in-betweens. Bad driver!

Meme: Probably pogs irl. She probably streams on Twitch (either video games or politics or both). Listens to Doja Cat. She will run away with you at night to explore abandoned buildings. Loves being the imposter in Among Us and is either super amazing or terrible (always has fun with it). Smells like fruity Monster energy drink

Anime: Manga profile picture. She probably shares Picrew she's done and forces you to do them, too. She probably recommends you anime/manga/media she likes on her own volition. She likes cosplay but might not have the confidence yet to do it herself so she admires from afar. She'll invite you to anime watching parties.

Sunshine: Literally just a cinnamon roll. She wears bright, happy colours. Loves plants and small animals! She uses a lot of punctuation,,, just,,, an excessive ammount. Her Animal Crossing island is very pink and sickeningly sweet. Will do your make-up spontaneously. She's a femme icon if she's lesbian!

Punk extraordinaire: Loves Against Me!'s music. Dresses in all black and has chipped (black) nail polish. Hair is either in a ponytail or just down. She's got many tattoos or piercings and is an expert in things surrounding body mods. She either doesn't mind skirts or is staunchly anti-skirt. Anti-fascist imagery. Will kick a racist's ass with no hesitation. Long road trips with her playing the bass alongside the radio.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #long post #idk what doja cat is but they seem popular with a particular type of person

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katnissgirlsmakedo · 3 years

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guys i think we need to make beachdeath’s acknowledgments a meme. here’s mine

for inspiring me: taylor swift, addison rae, jane austen, roberto aguirre sacasa, doja cat, tinkerbell, my tumblr mutuals, especially @withatalentforsquaddrill who gave me the idea to make this post, jennifer lopez, jojo siwa, caroline calloway, matt damon, alison bechdel, miley cyrus, jeff kinney, my women’s studies professor i’ve followed around for three classes now, lil nas x, dove cameron, alfonso cuarón, brad pitt, lizzo, henry golding, olivia rodrigo, madelyn cline, who you may recognize as my current profile picture and also half of my past profile pictures, simone biles, freddie mercury, tiktok user mr.mosebys_lefttit, tyler alvarez, diablo cody, camila mendes, dylan o’brien, zendaya, carly rae jepsen, shonda rhimes, pete davidson, and of course, jenna ortega

#beth.txt

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ptergwen · 3 years

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Whos that on your profile picture? 🥰

doja cat :D

#my bestie boo #chat with val

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e1ana · 4 years

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Mina Ashido and Jirou Kyoka for the character ask!!

YES OMG okay. Mina and I have the same birthday and also we are literally the same person. Irrelevant. But a fun fact. I love both of these ladies so much.

Mina!!!!

Favorite thing about them: I love her. That is my favorite thing. Jk. I feel like she’s just a very good friend. She’s dependable, strong (in battle and emotionally), she’s cheerful... you get the gist. I think she is just a friend magnet.

Least favorite thing about them: I kind of hate her quirk like 😳 girl that is not acid...

Favorite line: “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” It gave me very >:( vibes. I love baby.

brOTP: THE BAKUSQUAD!!! I cannot get enough of them together. If anyone ever has bakusquad content, send it to me or your toes are mine. I also like seeing her get along with the other girls and egg them on for gossip.

OTP: I’ve really been vibing with SeroMina and KiriMina recently. I also like Shinsou and Mina, Jirou and Mina, and Uraraka and Mina.

nOTP: DONT get it twisted - I LOVE ALL OF THE BACKGROUND CHARACTERS!!! But I just don’t see her being with someone who blends in easily like Ojiro. Their personality has to be as big as hers, even if not as bubbly- Sero’s personal brand of chill, Kirishima being a literally angel, and Shinsou’s permanent -_- attitude.

Random hc: Mina is super good at makeup. Also if she had normal skin, she’d be black. Don’t argue with me. Let me have this one.

Unpopular opinion: she doesn’t have a “secret dark side”???? Idk i saw that for a hot second and I literally was like :|. She’s just a happy person. Ppl need to let her be happy. She’s a queen let her vibe.

Song I associate with them: DO I SMELL ANOTHER PLAYYYYYLIIIIIST??? Yes. Anything on here. I think this is the one I did the best so... just saying (I have to take out the doja cat 😔 Mina doesn’t stan her anymore either). If I had to pick one song, though, I’d say either Daddy AF by Slayyyter or Oops!... I Did It Again. Idk I can just see her dancing to both of them lol.

Favorite picture of them: This. I’ve had this as my profile pics for various apps and I don’t regret it. Look at her little face. So cute. But I love all of them.

also cutting here, jirou underneath!

i just toked up again and switched to my computer from my phone so i guess this is a good time to finish up jirou’s.

favorite thing about them: jirou is absolutely on eof my favorite characters. i just absolutely love her whole vibe. like her clothes, her attitude, just her vibe. i think she’s really cool

least favorite thing about them: i need more jirou content! sure we just got fed with season four but... im greedy and impatient.

favorite line: “Shut up, old man!” literally give me the most jirou vibe EVER. its totally irrelevant and makes zero sense but its just so her.

brOTP: i literally love every time she interacts with the other girls. i just love all of my ladies having fun together. also the baku squad surprisingly (or not so much. ive seen this around). i think she’s really funny around the ‘dumber’ members of the class because she’s not afraid to nail on them for it lol.

OTP: MOMOJIROU. i literally LOVE M- i nfejkfberj i need to calm down i actually liveand breath for momojirou. like jeeeEEEZ. i also like kamijirou and a few other rarepairs, but momojirou absolutely takes the cake!

nOTP: again, i don’t really have one. i guess i can’t see her with someone like izuku or monoma.

random hc: she definitely likes women. like, period. i personally think she’s bisexual.

unpopular opinion: jirou’s quirk is super versatile and one of the coolest ones. like ngl, stretchy earlobe with headphones doesnt sound that cool. but she can THROW DARTS and BREAK CEMENT with her FUCKING EARS??? Damn. badass bitch.

song i associate with them: you already know i have a playlist for her. here it is. if i had to pick one song, it has to be on either the super heavy, rock side or the babie side of music. because im obsessed with both of them, i have to pick either The Way I Spoke by beabadoobee or Sun More Often by the same hoe. bea just gives me all around jirou vibes.

favorite picture of them: look at her. jirowo. its like 👉👈 but better.

#e1anas asks #mina ashido #jirou kyouka #my actual queens #ask prompt #bnha #my hero academia

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