Yoshitomo Nara: Dogs from Your Childhood (1999) & Fountain of Sorrow (2001)

Untitled

(Mask 5 / Dog’s Head!! / Lonesome Baby!)

by Yoshitomo Nara, 1992-200

The thing i drew at 2am

Plush Pep's travel in Europe (more photos below the cut)

I wish I could have took more pictures with him but I was a little too socially anxious to haha. Maybe next time!

(I posted some of these photos like a month or two ago on reddit, so don't mind if you've seen the pisa tower pics before)

puppy dawg

kids asking their parents for a pet be like

i think the adult relationship to the childhood dog is something that is so tender and heart-wrenching and important. you are the last vestige of my childhood. you are the sacred keeper of the memories i hold dearest, but you can barely see or hear me anymore. who do i become once you’re gone? where do i turn to remember myself? you’re the last one sitting next to me at the door of a childhood home that no longer exists, waiting patiently for the return of a family that no longer exists. where can i live when you, too, no longer exist? i can’t let go. please don’t make me let go. i know you’ll leave soon. i wish you didn’t have to. but she’s just a dog. her life is short and i will witness her death and i’ve known this from the beginning. i didn’t think it would come so fast. am i ready? have i become someone yet? have i become unrecognizable to her yet? does she still see the child i was? i’m still the child i was. please, don’t forget the child i was. please don’t take her away from me.

FANG over FANG🌪

i love it when the traumatized child war survivor gets taken in by a kindly old wizard man who helps raise her into a war criminal to fight his battles!!!!!!!!!! especially when Azteca died and it brought back all those memories of war from her childhood!!!!!!!!!!! wizard101 yay fun happiness smiles and joy

и усну я, обнимая теплого кота / and i'll fall asleep with a warm cat in my arms

hmm i really wish childhood psychosis was easier to study because the longer im in psychotic spaces the more i see there's a really clear and obvious difference between me (earliest memories include psychosis and psychotic trauma) and the regular psychotics who develop it as a late teen/early adult

theres at least something to be said about the way we double bookkeep & how childhood psychotics seem to have significantly less attachment to Reality, something it seems to me like most psychotics eventually return to or are able to keep in touch with, unlike childhood psychotics who dont seem like we're able to do this whatsoever

when i say i live in a constant state of psychosis, i mean, i experience trauma related to my psychosis 3+ times a day, every single day, with 0 fluctuation as to how im perceiving things. not one day of my entire memorable life has passed without objects talking to me and me understanding this is a normal part of my life. i think adult psychotics are able to disconnect and say "this ISNT part of my life, this is terrifying, i want this to end" which creates a new trauma that as a child psychotic i do not experience. for me this is the default, it's never been any other way because that just isnt possible

maybe TLDR, in childhood psychosis there is some level of acceptance of our reality that carries with us into adulthood, and commonly from what ive seen and heard from adult psychotics, they deeply reject their reality because they understand and have experience living differently

untitled (Plant and dog in the rain)

by Yoshitomo Nara, 1992-2000

Mom got me reminiscing…

I need to keep reminding myself that I did so much to keep her comfortable and alive for long enough for my family to return and also that nothing I could have done would have kept her alive so I can't keep dwelling on it like I didn't do enough. I did so much. I carried her everywhere. I helped her use the bathroom. I constantly was wiping the brown crusty drool off her paws and the crud that kept building in her eyes to give her some feeling of cleanliness and comfort. I stuck an IV in her (that I got from the vet, not just, like, on my own) once a day to keep her hydrated. like even though I was scrambling to finish an animation and get work done I put aside so much time and effort and love for her. I watched her like a hawk for the whole week, dealing with this on my own (it's no one's fault, just really bad timing, everything just happened to line up perfectly for the perfect shitstorm), just to make sure she didn't collapse and hurt herself. I did enough :( it wasn't enough but nothing would have been

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