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floatmeintothesun · 1 year

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Genshin Impact men as older brother figures: Headcanons

Includes: Kaeya, Scaramouche, Diluc, and Xiao

Tw: none

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KAEYA:

-Teasing. Straight-up teasing. You're never going to get away from it, so don’t even try. I mean, come on--It’s Kaeya, what did you expect? He will keep it to a degree where you know that he’s only poking fun at you, however.

“Oh? A hug? Aw, did you miss me that much? You're too cute. My heart can barely take it.”

-He’s a doting older brother figure, if not incredibly mischievous. I feel like he’s the type to drag you everywhere and invite you to hang out in his office when he’s not working. If you're lucky, he’ll probably try to teach you how to wield a sword or even spar with you.

(Does he let you beat him sometimes? Yes, but he’ll tease you about it so much it probably won’t feel too much like a win.)

-Also, be ready for hugs! Are you feeling down? You're getting a hug. Did you see something that you didn’t like? Hug. Did you get injured somehow? A gentle scolding, then you get a hug. He’s worried that you’ll slip through his fingers, just like everyone else he’s ever cared about, so he’ll try to remedy that feeling by physical touch. So don’t be afraid to initiate hugs by yourself, he’d love it. He’s a very touchy person, so if that’s your thing, you two are a perfect fit!

(If it isn’t, he’ll respect your boundaries, but might ask for hugs occasionally.)

-He’s mildly protective. He knows you can probably fend for yourself but still--he will step into any situation where you feel or show that you are somewhat uncomfortable.

“Ah, just a second. I’d like to speak to my darling little sibling. Huh? No, I’m sure what you were talking about isn’t important at all. Completely irrelevant, even. Please leave, so I may enjoy some quality time without your…unpleasant presence.”

-Ok but I wanna say that he’s like a…sort of bodyguard? I mean that like, idk, he doesn't like (see: absolutely hates) the thought of you being taken advantage of by someone else so he’ll try to ward off any potential suitors vying for your attention.

-Like, if he sees someone else hitting on you, they’ll definitely be subjected to a very cold and insincere smile that just generally warns others against doing it again. If they're persistent…well, let’s just say that he’ll replicate their stubbornness tenfold.

-Expect a casual arm slung around your shoulder if you're as tall as him, or both arms folded on top of your head while he looks down at your pursuer if you're shorter. Besides, who’s going to go against the Calvary Captain himself?

-Will Kaeya engage and pull you into various antics? Yep, probably. Will he make sure that it’s all lighthearted and fun as long as you're here? Yep, definitely.

-He’ll be one of those siblings who acts a little aloof while caring immensely about your wellbeing, hidden under his usual teasing facade.

“You look thinner today--don’t tell me you aren’t eating. Did you skip breakfast? That won’t do--come along, we’re going to the Good Hunter. Why? Well, I can’t have a stick for a little sibling, can I?”

-When you're feeling sad, he’s good at comfort. He’ll listen and add his own commentary when he feels that it’s needed and as mentioned earlier, is completely willing to hug you if you need it. In fact, being a cryo user, his hugs are cooler than a normal person’s, so in the summer, it’ll definitely feel nice. In the winter…he’s a bit sad that you won’t ask for them as much so bear with him if he’s more clingy during that season.

(Can you tell that I really like physical affection? ;-;)

-Pretty chilled out, most of the time, UNLESS you have managed to get injured. Whether it be from training, or a run-in with monsters, anything, he’s there to wrap your wounds, hug you, and then flick your forehead especially hard for worrying him.

-Then he’ll subtly hover over you and make sure you don’t get hurt even more but, like, very sneakily, to the point which you won’t even notice his behavior until he becomes more relaxed and lets you go off on your own without his supervision.

“Nope. I’m not letting you cut your own bread. Why? Because I want some too, y’know. You’ll eat it all by the time I’ve blinked twice.”

(No, he just doesn’t want you holding a knife while your hands are bandaged lest you get even MORE hurt somehow. He’ll deny it if you ask him later.)

-He’ll let you sit in his office whenever you want, even when he’s working, as long as you stay quiet. If you fall asleep while waiting for him to finish, he’ll wrap a blanket around your shoulders and let you sleep.

-Tell him you love him (platonically), and he’ll pause for a second trying to process what you just said in genuine surprise. The result of that is an extra clingy and sappy Kaeya. He might drape himself over you just because he wants to be near you. Or just casually lean against you, using you as a sort of crutch or something.

-Would he let you try alcohol? No. At least, he won’t let you drink huge amounts of it. Maybe a little sip of the most watered-down wine you've probably ever tasted because he’s a responsible person underneath his mask of apathy.

-All in all, he’s a very sweet older brother figure, although he doesn’t show it often, keeping it buried under a layer of his usual barbs and teases. Just know, he’ll always be looking out for you--betrayal is a sore spot for him so he tries to show that he’ll never intentionally hurt you.

(He doesn’t want the same thing that happened to Diluc to happen to you. He’ll keep you as close to him as he possibly can, while life is good. Maybe, when he finally feels that you are ready for it, he’ll tell you about his past and his history.)

SCARAMOUCHE:

-Ouch. That’s all I’m going to say for when you first meet this guy. Ouch, very ouch. Scaramouche has a sharper tongue than anything--even the sharpest sword can’t compare to his cutting words.

-BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT HE APPARENTLY HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR KIDS??

(lol idk if this is actually true, but I’ll take my soft Scaramouche agenda to the grave with me. PLUS I SAW ADORABLE SCARA AND QIQI ART ON TWITTER AND AGHGHGJG I LOVE IT)

-Lmao, good luck getting through his defenses and worming your way inside his heart, but when you actually do manage it…an absolute softie with you. Anyone else, they're nothing more than scum made to be walked all over by his sandals.

-He’s like a cat. A very demented cat. If you spend enough time with him and put actual effort into seeing past his incredibly grumpy exterior, then you’ll find that he’ll tolerate your presence. Scaramouche won’t talk to you like he does with his subordinates and really…kind of dotes on you in his own way.

“I saw this bracelet on the ground and it reminded me of you. It’s absolute filth so it’s fitting that you would like it.”

(Sir you cannot tell me you found this gorgeous bracelet on the dusty ass ground. It doesn't have a single speck of dirt on it.)

- He doesn’t really mean it when he insults you or anything. If you read between the lines, his messages are actually quite sweet. You just have to dig deep. Really deep.

-Tsundere. A total tsundere, there’s simply no way around it. He’ll give you little trinkets or food he finds interesting, disguising the actual reason for giving it under excuses.

“I got dango from one of the stalls and the idiotic wench manning it gave me two. I’m not going to eat it, so take it. I’ll throw it away if you don’t.”

“I can’t believe that they thought I’d use something as useless as this. You can have it--it serves me no purpose whatsoever.”

“I have no need for your…physical affection. Hey! I didn’t say I wouldn't let you hug me! I know your puny mortal needs have something to do with… hugs. Be grateful I’m letting you do this.”

-His hat is big enough for the two of you to huddle underneath. He’ll let you wear it if he’s feeling nice and if you beg him enough. Actually, if you beg enough for anything, eventually, he’ll cave underneath the weight of your requests. You just have to beg a lot--like a humongous amount of begging.

-You managed to win over his favorability with determination (lots of it), so why shouldn’t you be persistent enough to ask him for things over and over?

-He’s actually incredibly protective of you. There’s someone following you home? Well, their head now exists somewhere far away from their body. You got hurt today? After making sure you're fine, he’s going to find the culprit and brutally introduce them to his friend, death. You get made fun of? Looks like that person no longer has a tongue to make fun of you with.

-He won’t let you see the extent of his work with the Fatui, but he will tell you that he does regularly murder people, and you're fine with that, cool! He’s relieved as well! When he enacts his plans to break away from the organization, you're coming along with him, although it’s highly likely that you’ll be dropped off somewhere safe while he…ahem…becomes a god.

-It doesn’t work but rest assured. As soon as he recovers he’s coming back to get you. Maybe the two of you will go on adventures together.

(There’s no way in hell that he’ll ever leave you as the world did to him.)

-I don’t think he’s too much of a touchy person but he will accept casual physical contact, such as hugs or maybe leaning against you when he’s feeling lazy. Maybe he’ll tell you that he absolutely despises it, but really, he doesn’t mind it too much.

-If you tell him that you really appreciate him he’ll grace you with one of his incredibly rare smiles. So make sure the scary short man has all the words of affirmation you can possibly give him--it reassures him that you won’t disappear and betray him like everyone else has.

-If you had any intention of leaving him, it’s gone now. Scaramouche is the type of person who might break if he suffers just one more of the things he hates. Please don’t leave him, he’ll shatter under the weight of every betrayal he’s suffered.

-Sad boy, give him hugs. Don’t let go, it’ll make him feel so much better.

-He’s a bit softer since being defeated (see: getting his shit rocked) by the Traveller, so he’ll welcome any affection you show him readily, although he will make excuses when he wants to do the same to you.

“...You have something on your shoulder. Come over here, I’ll get rid of it…no, this isn’t a hug. You're just making things up.”

(It’s totally a hug.)

-He’s not too good at being an older brother figure, but he’s learning, slowly but surely. He’s trying his best to make sure you have a better life than he did and damn it, the world will end before he deserts you.

-His comfort level is…mediocre, but he does his absolute best to try to make you feel better, in his own roundabout way.

“Stop crying. It’s…unbefitting of you. No, wait, that came out wrong… Just come over here alright? You don’t need to cry when you’ve got me. We’re stuck in this together, whether you like it or not--so suck it up.”

-You’ve somehow, by the grace of the gods, earned the title of being his family and that means you're stuck with him forever. Like a cat, you feed one day and it just keeps coming back for more. I hope you don’t mind because he’s fiercely loyal to you.

DILUC:

-I’d say that he’s a bit…rusty when it comes to emotions. Bro legit does not know how the fuck they even work sometimes, but he’ll try to make sure that you know that he cares about you deeply. He comes across as gruff and even grumpy most of the time, even though it’s probably not what he actually feels.

-Istg, 99% of the time he looks as if he might punch someone if they dare come up and talk to him. Plus, the claymore he sometimes hauls around Monstadt is also incredibly intimidating. 99% of the time he’s probably thinking the exact opposite of what people assume.

-Diluc is what you call, emotionally constipated. He’s got a bad case of RBF, so kudos to you for approaching him and getting close enough to see that he’s actually a nice person. He naturally slips into the role of an older brother, although he might come off as awkward when he tries to convey that to you.

-He’s a total sweetheart. Kind of. He won’t let you come along when he slaughters encampments of hilichurls but if he gets hurt, he trusts you enough to bandage whatever wounds he could have procured from his patrols.

-Sometimes that just leads to both of you sitting on comfortable seats (or the floor) and literally just talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Like, just random ramblings and stuff and somehow that just leads from topic to topic.

(Although it’ll probably only be you talking about everything, don’t worry. Diluc will definitely listen while you speak and sometimes, he’ll even share some of his own experiences.)

-They're rare, but he will have them with you, and it will guarantee that you strengthen your bond with him. It’s just that he has to do work often, or is exhausted by his nightly routine to go out and kill monsters.

He’s very protective of you. He’s had too many of his family members get hurt because of him, so he’s incredibly careful with the way he treats you. That extends to being extremely overprotective when someone shows obvious interest in you and he doesn’t approve.

“So…you have a crush on my little sibling?... You are unfit of being in any type of relationship in the first place. What makes you think you have a chance?”

-I feel like you have to be the one who has to drag him off to bed so that he doesn’t overwork himself like an idiot.

“...Just let me finish signing this document. I need it to help with the trade of the Dawn Winery’s alcohol production in Liyue.”

(Bitch, that’s what you said 30 minutes ago. Sleep.)

-This guy is touch starved, glomp him or something, he won’t complain. He’s strong enough to hold you up when you do this, don’t be shy. He likes physical touch but for the love of god, he will NOT be the one to initiate it. He won’t ask for anything at all and it’s usually a little difficult to tell if he wants a hug or not.

-Here’s an easy way to tell: Diluc just stares. He stares at you for like, long minutes on end, until you put it together that he wants something like a hug.

-It was weird at first, but now it’s kind of endearing now that you actually know he’s doing it.

-He’s one of those people who gives you a nice, little head pat whenever he feels that he needs to, which is sweet. Although sometimes it’s natural and others it’s a little awkward, but then again, almost everything that’s related to emotions with him is awkward.

(You get extra brownie points if you reach up and pat his head too. He’ll blink confusedly for the next two seconds while mentally bluescreening.)

-He’s surprisingly good at comforting others, seeing as he’s somewhat oblivious to emotional cues. He’ll listen and be there for you, like an anchor to tether you down. His presence can have a rather soothing effect as well.

-Would he let you braid or do his hair? Maybe, if you're lucky and he wants to spend some time with you. His hair is silky and incredibly thick. It’s the best kind for learning how to do different hairstyles since it’s longer.

-He tries to be as open with you as he possibly can and absolutely hates lies for…reasons. Please don’t lie to him, he’ll be sad.

-If you get hurt then oops. Looks like your outside privileges are revoked until you recover! Lmao, he’s going to force you to stay at his home while you recuperate from your wounds. Will he be there to make sure that you actually rest? He’ll damn well try and it’s highly unlikely you’ll escape from your bedrest until he deems you well enough.

“I don’t care if you told the bakery you would get sweet flowers for them. Your leg is injured and I don’t need you messing it up while you heal--stay in bed. I’ll get them for you, and in return, JUST STAY THERE AND DON'T MOVE--”

-To be fair, he doesn't need you running around, bleeding out slowly and painfully. LIKE A CERTAIN BLUE-HAIRED IDIOT. I have a headcanon that Kaeya consistently neglects the fact that he’s injured and brushes off the fact that he’s hurt in order to finish more work, which definitely stresses the hell out of Diluc. So he’ll try to make sure that you're fine, to try to ease his anxiety about the both of you.

-Slowly, as time goes by, he becomes more comfortable with you. He’ll bring you small little presents and he’ll let you sit behind the bar in the Dawn Winery when he’s there. Diluc will even let you assemble your own drinks too, granted if they're non-alcoholic.

-He won’t let you taste alcohol until he’s sure that you're responsible enough and even then, he’s going to supervise you, just in case. Bro does not want you to be drunk while he’s not there. The thought of someone advancing on you while you're intoxicated makes his blood boil.

-I say he’s a good older brother figure, in all. He’s a little guarded, and it takes a while for him to actually open up to you enough to consider you as a part of his family but when he actually does, you two are going to be like two peas in a pod.

-(Bonus: Diluc and Kaeya reconcile because of your proking and prodding of both of them. This just means that there are no longer any misunderstandings between them. Both will definitely spoil you while running a friendly competition on which one of them can earn the most of your attention.)

XIAO:

-Look, I wanna know how you managed to befriend an Adeptus to the point of being considered his little sibling. This guy is even more emotionally constipated than Diluc. Don’t let that deter you from trying though!

-Maybe he saved you from monsters and you try to thank him by repeatedly bringing him almond tofu and chatting. Maybe you find him on the roof of your house and you sit next to him every night he decides to visit. Maybe you intentionally seek him out and use your determination to get closer to Xiao, idk. Take your pick of any of these situations.

-Either way, you’ve managed to make him care about you deeply, even though he flat-out refuses to show it. (In actuality, he just doesn’t know how to tell you that you matter to him a shit ton, so he settles for sticking to your side and coming whenever you call for him.)

-Oh, btw, he’ll tell you straight away once he’s comfortable enough to just call out his name whenever you need him. Whether it’s just for something small or something that’s important, he’ll arrive whenever you ask. He might scold you a little if it’s for something he deems as unimportant but he doesn’t actually care too much.

-To him, it’s reassurance that you actually want him around and don’t mind his presence. Which, of course, you don't, he’s an awesome Adeptus, how dare you even think otherwise??

-But in all honesty, he tries to make sure that you're safe and fine, even subconsciously. Like in the back of his mind, he’ll wonder if you're okay and if you call for him while he’s thinking about your safety, he’ll arrive even faster than normal.

-He’s not too big on physical contact or cuddles, but he’ll grudgingly accept them if you're the one giving. It makes him feel bubbly inside and it’s somewhat unfamiliar to him, so he just avoids the feeling all together.

-He’s protective, but he’ll try to keep his distance from you because of his karmic debt. He despises the thought of you being hurt by him or his karma, so at first, once he actually realizes that, oh shit, I really care about this human, he’ll start to distance himself away from you.

-Then you have to hunt him down and tell him that you love him (platonically) and would still stay even if his debt harms you.

-If he sees someone that you're clearly uncomfortable with keep trying to engage you in any type of way he will go down to you and threaten them a little. He’d do more if his contract with Rex Lapis permitted it but he swore to help all humans, which means that he isn’t allowed to actually hurt them.

“Stay away from my little sibling. I’ll rain hellfire down upon you if this continues.”

(Well…he’ll only threaten murder to the point of them leaving you alone. How sweet--it’s his own way of showing his care for you.)

-Even though he doesn’t like big crowds of people, he will go with you if you want to go to festivals in Liyue, just to make sure you're alright. Sure, he’ll look grumpy and brooding the entire time, but he uses this time to grudgingly get closer to you and ward off any potential suitors vying for your attention.

-If you get hurt, he’ll start blaming himself for not protecting you better, even if it’s only a shallow scratch. In his eyes, you are something pure, not meant to be harmed in any way at all. Compared to himself, which he sees as disgusting and shameful. He’ll visit you all the more when you're wounded, which means that you’ll practically have a shadow following you everywhere, ready to step in and help you at any time.

-Xiao appreciates it when you spend time with him, like sitting together under a large tree, hiding from the heat of the sun. Or even just chatting aimlessly on the roof of your house in the middle of the night. Or even sleeping on his shoulder while he keeps watch. Whatever it is, he makes sure to cherish every moment, because he knows how short mortal lives really are.

-Tell him that he’s the best older brother in the world, he’ll blush in embarrassment and scold you for being so shameless. Inwardly though, he’ll feel all warm and happy so give him lots of reassurance that you really do care about him, just as much as he does for you.

“...How brazen can you possibly be?... No, I’m not red, your mind is playing tricks upon you, but…thank you. I--never mind.”

-If he feels lonely, he’ll subtly be more clingy the next time he sees you. Like a quick little tap of his fingers against your arm to get your attention or more physical contact. Maybe he’ll make an excuse to stick to your side as long as he can afford, trying to tell himself that it’s for your own good.

-He will let you play with his hair when he feels somewhat tired. He doesn’t actually sleep--it’s more of a light doze--but he will tolerate you combing your fingers through his silky hair since it feels nice for him. You've done it so many times that it’s practically habit for him to lay down next to you and expect you to start running your hands through his locks.

-If you don’t, he’ll nudge your hand a little and glare at you until you comply with his wishes.

“...Hey. would you start…doing your thing already? What? Of course you know what I mean, you've done it so many times before. Huh?... You're just messing with me, aren't you?”

-OUGFDSEFG we love him.

-His comforting skills are…the same as Scaramouche’s but he tries. Don’t hold it against him if he just stands to the side, patting your back awkwardly, silent wishing he had the power to make you feel instantly better. He legit has spent so much time avoiding humans that he doesn’t even know how they work anymore.

“…hey. Don’t cry, I’m…sure everything will turn out alright. Huh? You weren’t crying? Well, just feel better, okay?…I don’t like seeing you sad.”

-All in all, he might fumble around with his emotions but ultimately will do anything to ensure your happiness and safety. Plus you can brag about having touched an Adeptus’s hair and survived to tell the tale! Honestly, he’s a real sweetheart who really cares about you. Spend some time with him, and share a plate of almond tofu, he appreciates it.

AN-ok I’m done. If u want to ask me to write anything, I am currently taking requests, HOWEVER, it’ll take me a while to actually post anything else, so please be patient! Please don’t steal my work!

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iliektehhaxs · 2 months

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All of the 141 has a domesticity kink, the worst offenders being Price and Ghost.

Price will at least try to keep a level head about him, eyes trained to the apron that lines your figure like a second skin.

You look good like this, happily prancing in the kitchen, the smell of dinner lingering in his nose. What are you making? It doesn’t really matter, because whatever’s in that pot isn’t what’s going to satisfy him tonight.

You offer him a taste and he’s more than happy to oblige, humming constantly at the flavor of your meal. Your gleeful face makes his chest physically hurt, how the hell did he manage to keep a pretty thing like you all to himself? So happy to be his little housewife, and Price is nothing if not grateful.

He makes certain to show his gratitude the moment the stove is turned off.

Simon is much less refined, all jagged edges that makes it difficult to understand the need for a gentle touch.

You greet him in the morning in a baggy shirt—his shirt. It’s so oversized, the hem of it barely covering your panties as you work on chores around the house—makes his fingers itch to dig themselves into the soft flesh of your thighs and never let go.

His dick turns solid when you kiss him good morning. A peck of the lips really, but it’s enough to have him wanting more, the faintest whiff of familiarity hitting his nose when you pull away. It’s not long until he’s keeping you in his embrace, burying his face into your neck and groaning. You smell like him.

One moment you’re dusting shelves, the next you’re lifted into Simon’s arms. He doesn’t say much, but he doesn’t have to. His eyes give you all the answer you need.

#cod #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #captain price #captain price x reader #does this count as smut??#cod headcanons #robo writes

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frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe · 7 months

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i'm suddenly thinking about rockstar!eddie shooting a music video on some naval ship and meeting actual sailor!steve who's all dressed up in his whites 'cause eddie's a big name star and the captain said everyone had to look their best and eddie immediately folding for the pretty guy in uniform

just: eddie wanting a couple of the guys to act in the video 'cause hopefully then they'd actually know what they're doing, and asking the capt to point out his most competent sailor. the capt immediately points out one of his low-ranking ensigns (like, brand new baby officer 'cause that's the kinda shit an officer would pull) and eddie, having been raised by wayne (who i'm hc-ing as a navy vet) knows better and is immediately like "No sir, I said your most competent, not your least. someone point me to THE second class. Where's he? I need an enlisted guy." and a higher-ranking chief that's been following the band around the ship all day bellows out a laugh and says "You're gonna want Harrington, Mr. Munson."

idk idk, it's niche but for some reason my mind went into the cold clammy depths of my time in the navy this morning and i was like 'NOPE! don't wanna dwell here, make it fun! make it about the blorbos so you dont get sad!!' lmao

#the worms wormed a little bit this morning #i have a whole hc about the song for the video being one that jeff wrote about missing his gf while out on tour #but it's also just about long distance/missing someone in general and eddie's like 'ya okay i don't quite get it' but he's the lead singer #so he's gonna be the one headling the vid and they decide on a ship cause what else is that longing but missing your SO while on deployment #crossover of fic readers and those who have inside knowledge of the /actual/ inner workings of being on a ship is slim to none #but that sliver includes me lmao #does this count as lore?#i'm gonna say it does #noelle lore #steddie #steddie hc #steve harrington #eddie munson #rockstar!eddie #sailor!steve #sailor!steve x rockstar!eddie

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viperwhispered · 26 days

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So we all agree that Jamil enjoys when he can nudge others to do what he wants, right? Like, one of the basketball jersey lines is about controlling the flow of the game and making others react, and beans camo has a bit of a similar vibe.

Plus like, the whole plan in book 4 of setting things in motion and having others actually take the decisive steps once he paved the way.

So, consider: Jamil nudging his s/o to being the one to actually act on his desires. Because yeah you're together, he knows how you feel about him, but it's just nice to get himself to feel extra desired and wanted, isn't it? Having you come to him, rather than him going to you.

So he does all sorts of little things he knows get to you.

Knows how you feel about seeing his bared arms? Casually pulls up his sleeves while cooking (if he's not in his dorm uniform already).

Or maybe he'll ask you to come watch his practice or a game, if he knows him on court is a weakness of yours.

The sight of his hair loose gets you weak? Oh better undo his ponytail and take his time readjusting his hair.

A million and one totally casual touches, he just happens to touch you in passing while doing his thing or while you're hanging out.

Similarly, he just happens be close to you while talking, lowering his voice or using a particular tone that gets to you.

You like his more cocky, scheming side? Oh, why doesn't he tell you about a little something he just pulled off earlier (or is planning on doing), that'll give him a reason to hit you with that smirk and everything.

Sweet words from him are your weakness? Sure he can slip something nice and totally matter-of-fact into the conversation (when you're alone, at least).

Just, all those little things, until he can really see all that love in your eyes, that desire in your expression.

And the satisfaction he feels when you're the one getting close to him, when you're the one to turn those fleeting touches into something more. When you don't let go of him.

He loves pushing you like that.

And how easy it is to make you express your love to him? Well, that just tells of how much love you have to give to him, doesn't it? And how could he possibly not want to see the proof of that, time and time again.

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner talks #does this count as fluff?#kinda?#idek #adventures in getting into the head of one jamil viper

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darlingofsatoru · 4 months

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NEW GUY

⊹ synopsis: Yuji feels jealous and Sukuna won’t shut up about letting him take control [fem!reader + swearing]

Yuji sighs loudly, eyes darting to where you’re happily chatting with a new student.

He doesn’t get why he feels this way but he isn’t going to do what Sukuna’s being telling him to do for the last ten minutes.

When Yuji looked at the clock and found he’d been arguing with Sukuna about letting him take control so he could ‘scare the bastard off’ for five minutes, he let out another sigh.

Should he go say hello, subtly get you away from the guy or should he just leave you there?

He understands jealousy or possessiveness is a natural feeling, especially for ‘youths’, as the god-knows-how-old Sukuna likes to put it, but it doesn’t shake off the feeling of guilt at not entirely trusting his girlfriend with someone she barely knows.

“Let me take over for a second, you’re pissing me off.”

“No! You can’t rip his eyes out, give them to her, then expect everything to be magically okay for me, y/n and this new guy..!”

“Back in my day, giving the eyes of a enemy was pretty damn impressive, you know? You kids can’t appreciate shit anymore.”

God, Will this great great great great Grandpa shut up...

“I can hear your thoughts, you brat!”

Yuji groans, eyes finally meeting yours from across the room.

He smiles, though it’s clearly a tired one.

You send a sympathetic look to him and excuse yourself from talking to the new student, coming over to Yuji quickly and gaining a ‘goddamn boring, could’ve fixed this ages ago’ from Sukuna in his head.

“You alright?” You place a hand on his forehead, checking his temperature, “you’re pretty warm, you know?”

He nods, mumbling, “just Sukuna..”

Instead of insulting him in his head, Sukuna of course appears on his cheek, “Tell the new boy to crack his neck and die, yeah?”

You pale at that, used to the comments but always managing to be caught off guard anyway.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea…” you chuckle awkwardly.

A groan is heard and you can almost imagine Sukuna rolling his eyes like he’s a teenager too.

“Fuckin’ pussies, that’s what you two are.” The mouth disappears promptly after that, gaining a sigh from Yuji.

“Sorry about him..” He mumbles, rubbing his head in light embarrassment.

“Don’t be sorry, I’m used to him, I think.” You smile, leaning forward to hug him.

A smile appears on his face too and he embraces you back softly, “That new guy, what’s he like?”

“Meh.. Nothing compared to you, that’s for sure.”

Bonus aftermath with Sukuna & Yuji:

“I told you that you could’ve just went up to her, geez!”

“You did not! You said to rip his heart out, which I know hurts tons!”

“I brought you back, get over it already!”

#darlingofsatoru🩰#yuji itadori x reader #itadori yuji x reader #itadori x reader #yuji x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #does this count as Sukuna x reader…#sukuna ryomen x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #uhh I think it might but also not but erm..#if not then ignore this 😭

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erenthology · 6 months

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He loves the kind of woman that would actually just k!ll him (quick drabble)

When you scolded his teammates for not picking up after themselves after dinner, he realized something about himself. “We’re sorry” they said in unison. Eren just stared you up and down with craving eyes.

“Dude, your girl is kind of scary.” They muttered as you walked off to the bathroom. He knows…intently following your retreating figure with his eyes.

When he first approached you at a frat party, offering to help carry your drinks, maybe with the intent to take you back to his place later that night..you left him speechless with your glowering glare, muttering explosives at him.

He was stunned as he watched you walk away.

“Poor girl would rather walk spill her drinks than speak with you.” Jean snickered. But Eren just grinned.

It took him a while to get you to warm up to him, but the chase was worth it. Turns out, you’re just a soft cinnamon bun once you let your walls down. For someone who claims she hates cuddles, you sure want cuddles. He loves you, and especially that mouth of yours.

He doesn’t mind when you calmly give him the look if he’s acting up, your sharp tongue, or your quick comebacks. In fact, he loves when you speak up for him if his order is wrong before he gets the chance to, or rather aggressively cheer for him at his games, that in particular makes him blush ever so lovingly. He almost gets shy. Meanwhile you’re swooning over your beast boyfriend smashing 220 pound guys down on the field. Unaware he’s doing the most to impress his girl.

He remembers being taken aback once. You had slapped a stranger who catcalled you. Eren was away buying you ice scream, strictly ordering you to stay within his line of vision since the carnival was “dangerous”. So when he noticed the situation, rushing with the intent of smashing the guys face in, he nearly dropped the ice cream as he witnessed your hand connecting with roaches face. Proudly observing you with gleam in his eyes.

Eren admits it, he’s attracted to intiminating women. He doesn’t know when it started, might’ve been with you. Now that he thinks about it, every girl he used to chase after before you was reserved and timid. Either way, all he knows is every time you let out that side of you, his pants feel tighter.

You come back from the bathroom, noticing the guys picked up after themselves. Finally, you thought.

“Hey Eren, can we get dessert?”

He stands up and grabs you by the loops of your belt, pulling your hips flush against his.

“Can’t you sit on my face first?” face to face spooning you, about to add a “please,” but you smirked and got down on your knees instead. He quickly looked around, “we’re in the living room, the guys might walk come back in.” he stresses.

“Let them.” and Eren swears that one day you’ll give him a heart attack. His girl is a freak, the thought makes him grin.

“Only if you sit on it later.” he was not below begging for it. He actually wouldn’t mind going out by you sitting on his face, it would make him die a happy man.

#ig this is rugby collage boyfriend Eren still?#idk i just wrote it so sorry for any mistakes but a girl is too tired to care atm #does this maybe count as a kinktober-ish post?#I’ll write a proper one soon #night ♥️#eren smut #attack on titan eren #eren #eren jeager x reader #eren aot #eren fanfiction #eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren x you #erenereneren

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whore4abby · 4 months

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christmas headcannons; abby anderson

+ some bonus insta posts

warnings; tiny mentions of smut - strap-on mention, mdni

౨ৎ takes you to the local christmas markets every year - holding hands as you pass by the christmas stalls which are all aglow with twinkling fairy lights, breath visible in the cold air but you’re both cosy and bundled up in thick jackets to keep warm in the icy weather.

౨ৎ would notice you staring at a snow globe or something and immediately have her hand in her pocket to fetch her wallet and buy it for you without even thinking twice about it.

౨ৎ buys you the BEST gifts. spends months slyly asking you questions trying to get an insight into what you’ll be wanting as gifts.

౨ৎ not the best gift wrapper her big hands make it hard :( but she tries her absolute best. ends up using absurd amounts of tape to keep the paper in place, ultimately making it look like it was wrapped up by a small child.

౨ৎ insists that she hates the matching thermal pjs you buy for the both of you, sulking in protest when you suggest the idea but after much persuasion, she finally caves, willing to do anything to make you happy.

౨ৎ loves to decorate the christmas tree with you but she takes it soooo seriously, she never half-asses it and is always groaning at you that you’ve hung everything in the wrong place. always lets you put the star on the top of the tree though, hoisting you up into the air effortlessly, smiling as she watches you gently place the glittering star onto the tree.

౨ৎ so good at snowball fights but she sometimes forgets her own strength. pummelling the icy snow at you a little too hard which results in knocking you off your feet and back into a pile of freshly fallen snow. she attempts to stifle her laugh as she scoops you up, pressing warm kisses against your frozen cheeks apoligetically.

౨ৎ abby loves to wake up before you on christmas morning in the the early hours to enjoy a cup of coffee, watching as the snow falls outside of your bedroom window, caressing your back softly as you sleep. finishing her drink just as you start to wake up which leads to groping each other through your thermal pjs, sleepily grinding against eachother.

౨ৎ abby adores ending the night by watching endless christmas movies, wrapped up in blankets and surrounded by your favourite snacks and drinking hot chocolate whilst using you as her personal heater. the two of you sharing sticky marshmallow coated kisses as you giggle and press yourself closer to her.

౨ৎ the night ends with the hot chocolate and christmas movies long forgotten as abby has you ride her strap, her big hands gripping at your hips and bouncing you up and down on top of her.

#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ⋆.ೃ࿔myfics⌨️#abby anderson x fem reader #abby anderson smut #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x female reader #abby tlou #abby x you #abby anderson x reader #abby the last of us #tlou abby #abby anderson #abby x reader #abby x fem!reader #tlou smau #does this even count as an smau

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bluesylveon2 · 5 months

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Sebek: YOUNG MASTER!! MASTER LILIA!!

Malleus: what is it, Sebek?

Sebek: SILVER IS GETTING HIT ON!

Lilia grabs Malleus and he starts running

Lilia: Formation B!

Malleus and Sebek: roger!!

Cut to Silver casually talking to Yuu

Malleus and Sebek grab onto Silver

Sebek: WHO IS THAT WOMAN? Have you forgotten the night you toasted to my eyes?

Malleus: was it all a lie when you said your time with me was the most enjoyable of all?

Silver: what are you talking about?

Lilia: could you not touch him so casually, please. YOU HOMEWRECKERS!!

Lilia: Silver has violin practice with me now. Let's go home, Silver. Today I'll have you master "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"

Silver to Yuu: ignore them. your cat ran that way *points to a direction*

Yuu: thank you so much!

Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek: huh?

Silver, looking irritated: now whose idea was this? You're embarrassing me.

Lilia: ✨️😎✨️

Silver: stop doing that!

Sebek and Malleus run off before Silver could question them

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twst incorrect quotes #diasomnia #does this count as silver x reader?#i was debating on making this with Diasomnia or Heartslabyul lol #Lilia would have plans like this #silver vanrouge #lilia vanrouge #sebek zigvolt #malleus draconia #source: jjk #edit how would i describe that one pose Gojo does after Megumi yells at him???#would it look like ✨️😎😙✨️

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taintedcigs · 5 months

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i know some ppl hate it but i love 'stevie' SOO much. and i know he'd just blush the cutest pink when you called him stevie... squirming in his place by how much your little nickname turns him on... because he loves to hear you whine 'stevieeee!!!' whenever he teases you, just by a slap on your ass, or when his hand lands on your thigh whenever he's driving, a harsh grip on your inner thigh slowly travelling up, or when he 'accidentally' presses your ass against his bulge when hugging you from behind, OR OR when his hand wanders to your panties while the two of you are out to dinner with friends.

he loves the way that nickname leaves your glossy lips whenever you're trashing beneath him, begging him to fuck you faster, deeper. wanting nothing more than to be filled to the brim. he loves the way you utter it in such a lewd way while giving him those doe-eyes, begging for him to fuck your throat, he loves the filthy smile you give him as you say it. but he especially loves sliding his cock down your throat, hearing your muffled 'stevie' while you beg for him to cum down your throat. and he loves it even more, once the two of you are fucked out, laying next to each other, and you whisper, 'i love you, stevie' he gives you a sloppy kiss on your forehead, arms securely wrapping around your waist, bodies tied to each other.

'love you more, angel,' he murmurs into your hair, he's your stevie, and you're his angel.

#steve harrington blurbs #idk this is stuupid #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington drabbles #steve harrington smut #does this count? i think it should

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cosmicladyy · 1 year

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🥺👉👈 As someone who is very much a Bowser enjoyer could you, perchance, write a fluffy Bowser x Reader? For a prompt... maybe the Reader finds him asleep and takes the opportunity to get closer to him? Or, something of the cuddling variety? Reader can be gender neutral- it don't mattah too much to me.

Cuddle Bug

bowser x gn!reader

It’s tiring running a growing kingdom. So many things can and have gone so wrong to the point where Bowser has to physically step in and fix it himself; which leads to a lot of complaining and ‘I have to do everything myself’s.

So it’s not uncommon to find his royal highness taking an afternoon nap in his room, which he always argues that he isn’t and is just ‘thinking of new war strategies’. The snoring that can be heard through the door doesn’t help his case.

Today though, once you’ve figured that the castle can be without its leaders for a few hours, you decided to join him for a quick snooze.

You find him in his giant bed, knocked out on his stomach with one arm cradling his head and without his sharp accessories, after bugging him so many times about how unsafe it is to sleep with them on.

“you could poke an eye out in your sleep.”

“I’d look so much cooler with an eyepatch.”

Once you’ve kicked your shoes off, you slowly move under the covers and make yourself comfortable. You look over at the sleeping turtle to make sure you haven’t disturbed his slumber and flop down on a pillow.

You weren’t expecting an arm to wrap around your middle and pull you from your spot. You can practically feel the expression on his face as Bowser moves you closer to him.

“Why would you do that,” you try to pinch the offending arm, “I just got comfortable.”

The king of Koopas opens his ember eyes and gives you a boyish smirk as he leans into his side, using the arm he had under his head to prop himself up.

You try to sit up as if to leave, which only makes him hold onto you tighter.

“Are you saying you don’t feel comfort in the arms of your favorite king?” All that gets him is a playful eye roll.

"Well, I wouldn't say favorite- ACK!" Mr. Comedian moves and puts a small fraction of his weight on you, and while isn't much still manages to knock the wind out of you; You feel his chest rumble as he chuckles.

Bowser takes the chance to flip you both over, with you straddling his chest and him on his back, "don't have to lie, I already know I am."

"Mhm." no use arguing against something that's true.

He brings a clawed palm up to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. Soaking in his warmth, you nuzzle into him and hold a hand over his own.

The look in his eyes is so full of love and awestruck that it nearly has you melting into him; as if he didn't believe that you were there with him.

He lives for moments like these, just you and him in each other's presence with no disturbances. It's in moments like these that he lets his walls down completely with you, more so than he already does. He wishes he could spend all his days just like this, with you by his side.

For now, though, he's enjoying this moment for as long as he can.

knock, knock

“uhh, your majesties?”

“ASK KAMEK!”

#bowser x reader #bowser x y/n #big dumb idiot i lobe hem #bowser #cosmicwrites #does this count as cuddling #lets pretend i keep my promise on fixing it in the morning #this one is for all the people that just want to be held by a big turtle king

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ghouljams · 8 months

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PLEAAAASEEEEE just a lil knight smooch on the hand, even just a light kiss to her lock of her hair

EVEN JUST LOVE FILLED GLANCES PLEAAAAASEEEEEEE

or maybe medivel konig romance i am so lovesick i wamt to hear fluff aND UR DENYING US WITH GHOST KNIGHT YEARNING

OK but only because I'm really beating this poor princess down in two other asks.

You spend most of your day with Ghost, he's your escort for every outing, your companion for every event. You'd think you'd get tired of seeing him all the time but you never do. You love seeing him, and you think he likes seeing you too.

"Good morning," you smile up at Ghost as he comes near, your favorite part of your mornings.

"Morning," he pulls out the chair next to you, grabbing a thick slice of bread as he sits. You don't even need to ask your maids to set a place for him anymore, don't need to coax Ghost into joining you for breakfast. He leans his elbows against the table and breaks the bread apart between his hands, as he watches you.

"How'd you sleep?" You ask, too casual, he nudges you with his knee. "Did you sleep well?" You try again. He's worse than your old etiquette tutor sometimes.

"Same as usual, were you alright after the-" he pauses, clicks his tongue, like he's annoyed he doesn't have a polite word for it. He doesn't want to say "tantrum" but you know he's thinking it.

"I- yes. Thank you." You stare down at your hands, embarrassed. You're too old to be acting like that. Ghost stares at you a long moment before setting his bread on his plate. He reaches across the table to grab meat and fruit, filling your plate before you can stop him.

"Eat, you'll feel better." He plucks another slice of bread free of its warm basket and butters it. You watch him slide the little silver knife against the crumb and he stops, pointing the utensil at your plate. "Eat," he's not asking you.

You pick up your fork and knife to do as he says. You really don't know why you bother listening to him, you're in charge, not him. It's just that, you sort of like doing what he says, he always looks so pleased when you do. He doesn't even look at you when you take your first bite, but his eyes still smile and you know it's for you. His smiles are only ever for you.

"Good girl," He mumbles, sliding his bread onto your plate, neatly jam and buttered just the way you like it.

"You're free to leave," you tell your maids, glancing at them over your shoulder. You know they're hovering, waiting to refill your tea or bring another plate of food. You also know they're waiting for more information on last night's... fit. Gossips the lot of them. "You've left the pot, if I need more tea Ghost will serve me. Go."

The maids exchange a glance and drop to curtsy before scurrying out. You go back to eating. Ghost waits a beat before removing his mask and serving himself breakfast. You don't bother with glances or peaking at his face, you look. It's your right to look, he's yours after all.

"You're staring," he grumbles. Astute observation, you think with a smile. You know what he means, you spear a strawberry with your fork and pop it in your mouth.

"I'm eating."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," he hums, ignoring you in favor of his own meal. Does he know that you only breach etiquette to hear him correct you? Does he see you behave as a perfect princess for others and think he did that? No, you think he must know you're teasing him.

You set your fork down and reach to wipe away the crumbs that stick to his lip. Ghost catches your hand before you can touch him, his tongue darting out to do what your finger would have. His eyes hold yours, each of you waiting for the other to pull back. You don’t want to.

His lips are so much warmer than in your dream, softer, more substantial as Ghost bows his head to press them against your knuckles. You tilt your head, watching him turn your hand to kiss your palm and the delicate skin of your wrist. He looks at you with every promise in his eyes, and you love him for it.

"Good morning, my lady," he murmurs, holding your hand to his cheek. Your heart clenches, fingers curling against the stubble on his jaw.

"Good morning, my knight." You whisper back. The breath he lets out is almost pained, far too heavy for breakfast. He kisses your palm again, and you almost understand why before he drops it. I love you, you both seem to think at each other, I love you.

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vurelly · 2 years

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Sometimes the customer is right, sometimes the customer gets his ass kicked

#fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #fnaf sun #sundrop #my art #does this count as solar lunacy?#eh sure #solar lunacy #here's to hoping this actually posts since my internet is being r u d e #sun x reader #forgot that tag

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aboyscriminalrecord · 8 days

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How I imagine a Stag/Buck Deer!Y/N arriving at the Hotel.

Alastor (instinctualy feeling threatened): Oh how wonderful! It's been awhile since I've had some special venison*. (*Read: sinner venison, deer sinners are pretty rare.)

Charlie: Now remember Al, they're a guest here and we agreed to not eat our guest. Besides, maybe you'd get along with them? Aren't deer herd animals? Maybe you could bond over... instincts?

Alastor (visibly annoyed): Very well then. In that case, I'll just have to introduce myself. But don't get your hopes up, my dear, all because they share the same form as me doesn't mean we'll enjoy eachothers company. We might even become mortal enemies! You never know!

(cut to several hours later).

Angel (looking over at Alastor locking antlers with Deer!Y/N for the third time that day): They're flirting, right? That how deers flirt, right?

Husk (looking over to see Alastor untangling his antlers from Deer!Y/Ns only to start ramming his antlers at theirs a few seconds and getting stuck again): Yep. They're flirting... Well, Al is atleast.

Angel (chuffing his hands around his mouth): GET A ROOM!

whoever requested this I’m gonna give you the biggest kiss. I’m so in love with you ONFKSNSKSKAKAKAKAKJAKAKA

Ur a good competitor, it’s definitely flirting 🤭

I can imagine y/n being confused, not a “why is he doing this?” Confused, but a “why does he KEEP doing this?” Confused LMAO

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idyllcy · 6 months

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too much - mike schmidt x reader

You get a kick out of this more than you like to admit.

Mike arches under you, whimpering as he does, cheeks flushed with red as you coo at him, thumb brushing his cheek to wipe the tear sliding down.

"Too much?" You slow down, earning a whine from Mike.

"N-no. More. Please." He gasps, fingers curling uncomfortably at his side, staring up at you as you nod. "'s good." he slurs.

You start again, breathing uneven as your eyes go half-lidded, lifting your hips and slamming them down, Mike's fingers digging into the sheets, desperate to grab onto something.

"Please." He breathes. "Please let me touch you."

An agreement slips past your lips, and he wastes no time planting his hands onto your hips, helping you ride him, his hands warm on your skin as your brain turns to mush, desperate to get off with him, no other thought in mind.

It comes much quicker with Mike helping, and his eyes shut as you cum, him following immediately after as he spills into you with a whine, his fingers gripping you so hard you're sure they'll leave red marks. You lift yourself off of him, feeling his cum slide down your thigh onto his hip, and you rest your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as your blinking slows.

"Was I good?" Mike mumbles.

"You were great, pretty boy."

#happy halloween guys here's my gift to yall #reader insert #mike schmidt x reader #fnaf x reader #☾.nsfw #fnaf #zen and xing are the demons on my shoulder wdym I've written a man whimpering TWICE IN A FUCKING MONTH #does he count as michael afton I don't think he does does he?? Im not tagging Michael afton sorry guys #mike schmidt

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embrosegraves · 6 months

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𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕚𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕊𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘

Just a lil something I thought of and couldn't get out of my head :P I hope you enjoy <3

Max Verstappen x Reader “If you can justify the purchase, then you can buy it for me.” Sugar Daddy x Slightly Reluctant! Sugar Baby

very brief google translated dutch (it's like 2 thing near the end)

You weren’t sure how you managed to get to this point in your life. One night you were working at your local club, trying to make ends meet with three jobs. You needed to pay for rent and utilities and food and the ever looming University degree you had begun studying for. You never thought you’d ever get to a point of financial comfortability, because the situation definitely wasn’t the most stable but it was comfortable.

At first you thought he was just another rich snob who wanted to impress his mates with the amount of money he could spend on a single night. And to be fair he kinda was. He just also happened to be the one that sat with you while you worked the bar, listening to your woes of being a uni student who needed to work more than one job throughout the day on top of going to class.

Now though, almost exactly 3 years after first meeting him, you couldn’t believe what you were looking at.

“I’m not letting you buy that for me, Max.”

“Why not?” He was almost (definitely) pouting.

“Because I can buy my own laptop? And besides, my final year is almost over, I can get it after.”

Max looked at you unimpressed. “The one you have now is falling apart. You need a new one.”

You grabbed his hand and slowly led him to a bench that was outside the store you were just standing in. “My love, I adore that you want to get me a new laptop for school, but you cannot justify spending three and a half million dollars on a laptop for me. I don’t care if it’s Swarovski, I don’t care if it’s the best laptop in the world. I don’t need it.”

It was always like this between you and Max. He wanted to buy you the most insanely expensive things just because he could, but you always told him not to. Looking at him in front of you, his face sporting an almost unnoticeable frown, you sighed. Keeping hold of his hand in yours, you moved your free hand to cradle his face.

“I will let you buy me a laptop-” His face lit up, “on the condition that it cost no more than eight thousand. I know I cannot get you to spend like a regular person, so that will be the cap on how much you spend on my laptop.”

“You never let me do anything fun.” Max was pouting again, but you could see his eyes were happy.

“Well, that’s tough Schat. If it makes you feel better, after you get the laptop because I’m not budging on that, you can buy me whatever you want-” You held your hand in front of him before Max could interrupt and start celebrating, “but you have to be able to properly justify the purchase. Which means no more mindless spending on things, okay?”

He pulled you in and wrapped his arms around you tightly. “As long as I still get to spoil you, like you deserve, then I will agree to your conditions.”

You felt as he placed a kiss on your head before you moved back. You gave him a kiss on his lips and smiled at him.

“Go. I can tell you’re just wanting to find a laptop to get me.”

He laughed and kissed you again before grabbing your hands and leading to a different tech store for your new laptop. “Let’s go then, Mijn Liefje!”

Translations (Provided by Google Translate) Schat = Darling Mijn Liefje = My Love

#max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen #f1 blurb #Welcome to the Sugarverse #does it count as fluff? idk #had a bit of brainrot tbh #saw a sugerdaddy prompt and LATCHED #let me know if you like it please #Also trying something different with the dividers #idk if i like them

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anglingforlevels · 6 months

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Open House (Yandere House x Reader)

When people say the housing market is a nightmare, is this what they had in mind? (The story goes out to me because I’m trying to get an apartment and it is Suffering. Please pretend this count as yandere.)

CW: not proofread, unconventional captivity, swearing, I accidentally had too much fun writing Abby and forgot the point of the story-

Minors DNI

When you proudly had reached the saving milestone to buy a small house in the countryside, you had opted to spend some of that money on a real estate agent, figuring it was a good investment, hiring a Ms. Abby Bardot – who, over the phone, had insisted heavily on being called Abby rather than Ms. Bardot – who had twenty years of experience in the field.

Quite quickly, you realized that perhaps she wasn’t the most conventional real estate agent.

Ms. Abby, you quickly noticed at your first meeting, was all hand-wringing and nervous sweating, though she seemed sweet enough, having clutched a tin of home-cooked cookies in all shades of black and almost-not-black, and had heartily insisted you’d take as many as you’d like (which was zero).

She had insisted on bringing you to an open house for what she had called a hidden gem of a house, that it would be a private tour. To you, once she mentioned it would be at 1 p.m., it was quite obvious that “private tour” meant, “no one else has or will be showing up”.

Ms. Abby had also enthusiastically shown pictures of the place, pictures she had ready-at-the-go on her phone, presumably she really needed a buyer for the house.

“Ms. Abby.” You had said, interrupted with a small interjection of, Oh please, just Abby. “Ms. Abby, that’s not quite a house and more so a small manor. I went over my budget with you when I hired you.” Ms. Abby had quickly recovered from the rejection and puffed out her chest proudly.

“Why that’s the best part, this is within your budget!”

You had sent her a dubious look at this. “Are the pictures… How do I put this delicately? Are the pictures recent and unedited?”

Ms. Abby deflated so quickly that it almost felt impressive, almost urging you to clap as if it was a circus performance. Of course, it felt mean had you clapped at her dejected look.

“It’s well-kept, I assure you. These pictures are all recent, I’ve updated them every year for almost my entire career!” She said proudly, and you almost felt pity at the fact she didn’t seem to realize her own slip-up but instead paraded it around like a badge of honor.

Though, all-in-all you were charmed, and somewhat endeared, by the honesty. But not very much by the house at all. “I think I’d like to look at other options, it’s awfully big for just one person.”

“Ah, wait!” Ms. Abby said urgently. “Please, before we continue with other options, let’s first try out the open house this Friday.”

“Is this protocol, Ms. Abby?” Ms. Abby’s lips wobbled at this and… “Are you crying?!”

“No, I’m a professional. Real Estate Agents don’t cry, I’m simply sweating, is all.” Ms. Abby sniffled, dubbing her eyes with a handkerchief, presumably you were meant to believe her eyes were suffering heat stroke on this fine autumn day.

“…Alright, I’ll go to the open house. Just give me the address.” You eventually relented, if only to avoid seeing the pitiful sight of a teary-eyed Ms. Abby.

That’s how you ended up before a grand house out in the middle of nowhere, the closest town was an hour-long drive away. Forest and fields were most of the surroundings, which was why the house was in such stark contrast, standing as a sole presence, the forests and fields shying away to make room for it, leaving a vast vacancy around it, stretching on for at least fifty meters.

It really was a pristine house, when comparing it to the pictures, it seemed to match right down to the placement of every rock and plant in sight. As if someone had consciously placed each leaf and pebble.

The plants and trees of the garden donned vibrant colors despite the season. You wondered how often Ms. Abby came by, or if she had hired a crew for maintenance, as you could not spot even the slightest hint of dirt or spiderwebs.

The only thing that looked aged was, unfortunately, the “For Sale” sign.

It felt a little unnatural, but you chalked it up to currently being a display house, and thus not lived-in either. You took notice of the way the trees beyond the reach of the garden were withered and wrinkled, and the grass yellowy, dry patches, barely hiding the dirt beneath.

“Some more forest could really do this place some good.” You mumbled. You hesitated for reasons you didn’t fully understand before stepping beyond dead plants clinging loosely to your feet and entering the garden.

You felt a prickling sensation behind your eyes the further you traveled, the door felt so far when the weight of something cloyingly attentive seemed to drag you down as if to prevent your advances.

“You’re here!” A delighted Ms. Abby yelled out before the sound of pitter-patter was interrupted by a loud thud against the door that rattled the frame. With her energy dampened, a sheepish Ms. Abby appeared behind the front door, simply saying; “It opens the other way.”

Right, something attentive could only have been the attention of the overzealous Ms. Abby.

“Come in, come in!” She invited, all but pulling you stumbling into a most decadently, lavishly decorated foyer. From distasteful stuffed animal heads to the ruby red furniture and mosaic glass tables, it felt quite uncomfortable, all sharp angles and very little homeliness to it, like an ornate display of wealth rather than a welcome into a household.

“Not very welcoming, huh?” You commented, which Ms. Abby elected not to respond to, though the small “eep” suggested she had heard the negative impression.

Looking the room over it was impossible for your eyes not to rest at the centerpiece of the foyer: A huge painting above the staircase. A solemn-looking guy stared out into the air, curly locks framing his face. Old paintings always looked miserable, yet you couldn’t help but feel there was a glint of genuine misery in his eyes. Noticing your attention had wandered, Ms. Abby followed your eyes.

“Oh, that was an owner of the house who had it commissioned back during the Renaissance, they wanted it right here, in the heart of the house.” She explained though you couldn’t say you agreed to a decadent foyer being the heart of a house, and if it was, that wasn’t boding well for Ms. Abby’s already poor sales chances.

“I’ve never understood why someone would want to pay money to look miserable in a painting, like you’re paying for it, at least make yourself smile or something.” Your jab was met with Ms. Abby’s impressive ability to carry on like you had said nothing negative at all.

“You know, the owner claimed it was a Jan van Eyck-original too.” Ms. Abby said as if letting you in on a secret, or town gossip. “Really, we’ve had it appraised.”

“And the appraiser confirmed it was a Jan van-whatever original?”

“…The owner really loved art; you’ll see plenty of paintings throughout the place.”

So that was a no. And speaking of no’s:

“Listen, Ms. Abby, I don’t exactly have the budget for a big house, as I already said. I especially don’t have the kind of budget that the kind of person who’d commission an artist to paint them for their foyer would have.”

Abby laughed nervously. “Well, you see, the value’s dropped as I mentioned. We haven’t been able to sell it for a long time, so the price just kept falling.”

“Right. But even so, it can’t have fallen that much.”

At this, Abby avoided eye contact, wringing her hands before, after a big breath, blurting it out. “The person in the painting was the last person to own the house.”

…

“Is this place built on top of an oilfield or something?”

Ms. Abby laughed a hearty if a bit shrill, laughter, before sighing and mumbling. “If only.” She clapped. “But! This is a charming house, why, let me show you the many rooms!”

“Ms. Abby, have you ever considered a field outside of sale?” You asked dryly but nonetheless followed along, eager to leave behind the painting, as you felt watched. The house consisted of many sprawling hallways, enough to almost make one dizzy, and you struggled to remember where everything was.

The house had many rooms, none of them particularly inviting, reading more like a historical display room lacking any warmth or heart (and perhaps even worse, any semblance of renovation despite old age), and all absolutely clustered with trinkets, knickknacks, and in the case of the walls, paintings – leaving very little free space.

It really did read like a historical display, as some rooms seemed older than others, suggesting partial renovation must have been done on some of the rooms. You’d like a word with whoever had been in charge of that lackluster, nonsensical effort.

Perhaps the lack of replaced furniture or renovation was why the house periodically seemed to creak and moan in odd ways, at times you almost confused it as Ms. Abby groaning or sighing, only to realize it was the sound of the house itself.

As for Ms. Abby, she remained undeterred regardless of how many snide remarks you made, which you had to commend her for, though the charm you initially had felt from it was quickly wearing off. Ms. Abby actually seemed increasingly happy, humming to herself. She didn’t think the sale was going well, did she?

“How much of the house is there left to see, Ms. Abby?” You asked, increasingly impatient and tired, having been dragged through an unreasonable number of rooms, which inexplicably, almost all were bedrooms (and yet, you had yet to see more than a single bathroom).

“Well, we’re still missing a couple rooms like the kitchen, oh! I know, how about the master bedroom since you’ll be spending every night there.” She said with a beaming smile.

“That’s awfully optimistic, Ms. Abby.” You noted, at this you received a good-hearted chuckle.

“Oh, this place is too lovely to pass up on, I think it likes you – it’s a match made in heaven. If you don’t like some of the features or decorations, it’s easy to change those, so it would be a waste not to live here.”

“I can’t imagine a house as empty as this holding much affection, and I’m not up for a big project.” All you wanted was a small but cozy house, a simple place. You felt exhausted just thinking about the amount of work you’d need to pour into a house like this to make it feel like home.

“Well, it’s perhaps not an easy house,” Ms. Abby admitted, her cheer at this point an unshakeable force, as a sense of confidence seemed to have sprouted in her. “But that’s why when that rare fit comes by one must take the leap and hold onto it.”

You’d feel insulted by the suggestion you were a good fit for this distasteful and unpleasant house, had Ms. Abby not already shown herself as incompetent but well-meaning. You simply sighed, giving up the conversation, figuring you’d find another real estate agent when you came home.

“Well, take me to the master bedroom then.”

Ms. Abby led you through the foyer again, the bedroom apparently at the other end of the house. Your eyes were drawn to the painting once more, its eyes felt more sunken in than before, shadows forming beneath, to which you tiredly sighed. “Me too, buddy. Me too.”

The master bedroom seemed to be at the stopping point to the sprawling hallways on the right. You were just aghast at the fact you had gone through another set of sprawling hallways, you wondered who had come up with the confusing layout of the place.

Ms. Abby tried to imitate a trumpet to build up suspense but trailed off after you shot her an impatient look. After a weak cough, she simply said “Tadaah” and opened the door.

You stopped up, your right foot hanging in the air, about to cross into the room. A sense of foreboding filled you; it was a bit different from the first time, however. The prickling sensation you felt and the cloying attention, it felt smothering, less like a shove away and more like… Being held in place.

Ms. Abby waited patiently inside the room, not commenting on your hesitation, though you had been snarky and displeased the entire tour, so perhaps this just seemed like more of that. You swallowed and ignored the pressure as you put your foot down and entered the room.

The air felt different here. You had hoped the odd sensation would disappear if you just carried on, like when you entered the house, to begin with, instead, it worsened. The air clung to you, terribly heavy and sticky. It took you a moment to actually focus enough to realize Ms. Abby had spoken, so when you finally snapped back to reality, Ms. Abby was standing in the hallway.

“-tively spellbound already. I’ll give you some time to look around and get acquainted together, one-on-one.” And then she closed the door in your face. The room was, oddly empty, compared to every other room. Nothing but a big, red bed, the empty walls that you could’ve sworn were further away when you entered, and that feeling of being watched, lodging into your skin like stitching.

Nothing except an almost empty room that didn’t feel empty enough.

That’s it. Ms. Abby had officially used up all her pity points, you were leaving. You opened the door, a tad more aggressively than what was perhaps called for, but Ms. Abby was nowhere to be seen in the hallway.

For how annoyed you were with her at this point, you found that you missed her company as you walked down the hallway, nothing distracting you from the odd sounds of the house that seemed to have increased. It felt as if the floor beneath your feet moved and rumbled slightly, the velvety carpets uneven and bumpy, as if walking on something breathing, something living.

You wished that Ms. Abby had given you the floor plans, as you struggled to remember how to return to the foyer through the hallways and occasional rooms you had to cross seemed to hold no real rhythm and didn’t feel as if it obeyed any rules about directions.

At one point you could have sworn you turned back, only to be in another room than where you had emerged from originally. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you found the foyer again. Even in your rush to find the door, your eyes were drawn to the painting, though you continued to rush by it. In your haste, it almost looked as if the painting’s colors were smudged.

You attempted to open the door but found it didn’t budge. It was an odd choice to lock the door, but you were certain that was the reason, it had to be. A locked door was no issue from the inside, but even after hearing the click of the lock, the door didn’t budge when you attempted to open it.

You attempted to kick, pry, tear, and even throw your body weight at the door, but with no luck.

Settling in the foyer after your final attempt at prying the front door open, you huffed, out of breath. You laid on the stairs, trying to settle your heart and pulse, when your eyes landed on the painting again.

…You rubbed your eyes and sat up, thinking what you had seen was owed to your tiredness and the upside-down angle, but no. The painting really did look smudged. Like someone had blurred colors and borders together, the hair’s vibrant color having lost its radiance.

And the mouth, it was oddly smudged between the lips, that it almost gave the impression of a mouth being pried open.

…

No, that was silly, you were being silly. The painting was smudged out, which was already creepy enough on its own, or rather, the house was already creepy enough on its own – your mind was just working overtime and was making up new things to get scared over.

“Well brain, if you like overtime, I guess I’ll have to put you to use and think of an escape. But you don’t have a union, so it’s unpaid hours for you, I’m afraid.”

If the front door was a bust, then you’d find a window. You struggled to recall any windows on the ground floor, but surely there had to be some. Or… That’s right! The kitchen, it had a glass door. You never got around to seeing the kitchen, having mainly been shown the upstairs so far, but you recalled Ms. Abby mentioning it back when she had given her pitch for why you should show up.

You hadn’t been on the left side of the house, at least not on the ground floor, so you figured that was a good direction to begin, in your search for the kitchen. You opened the door, urgency in your steps, only to find you weren’t in an unfamiliar room.

Instead, you were back in the empty master bedroom, which somehow felt much more crammed than any of the other rooms. But… That didn’t make sense. The master bedroom was upstairs, you had fought through a confusing hallway to find the foyer, so this… this didn’t make sense at all.

The air felt oppressive in the room as if your heart would be forced to a halt from the sheer weight of it, like a physical presence. This time you were sure that the walls were closer than they had been before. A bed table had been added next to the bed, and the part of you still delusional enough to hope thought maybe it meant that Ms. Abby was still around. As if this was an elaborate prank.

You tried to swallow despite how dry your mouth felt, your heart hammering painfully against your chest. This was ridiculous. You slammed the door open again, the door shaking on its hinges. Beyond the door, it revealed a hallway, but even if the hallway was confusing, you had been through it twice by now, you could do this, you could find the kitchen or a ground-floor window.

Hurrying along the hallway, it felt as if the floor and walls shifted and moved. Were you dizzy, or was this actually happening? The restrictive air of the master bedroom followed you, as you dragged yourself through.

“Huh?” you furrowed your eyebrows when you opened one of the doors. You were sure this was the one you had gone through before, but the room behind was unfamiliar. Cold dread filled you as a horrible thought crossed your mind.

No, no, no. You ran to the next door but behind it was another unfamiliar room. Were the layout… Changing? Your hand trembled as you tried to open a third door, and you felt like crying when all it revealed was the master bedroom again.

A lamp now stood on top of the bed table. Were new things going to be added each time you returned to the room? You thought back to the cramped bedrooms Ms. Abby had so cheerfully shown off. You weren’t sure what to make of it but felt sick all the same.

“I don’t have time for this.” You had to snap yourself out of it. You could spiral and panic later, but for now, you needed to get out. So, turning on your heel, you returned to the hallway. You’d go through each door that didn’t lead to the master bedroom, hoping to somehow find your way downstairs.

You almost cheered audibly when you finally saw the staircase, rushing to it. Once again, as you passed it, your eyes were drawn to the painting.

The painting no longer looked the same as before, the person it had been long erased by smudged and changing lines. You couldn’t tell what it was changing into but felt your heart race with familiarity all the same.

The mouth was a gaping hole by now, outstretched awkwardly. You thought it might have been a smile, but it looked much more like a pained grimace to you.

You only took this as further encouragement to get out of there.

When you failed to find anything of use, you realized there was one room that you seemed to always find. So, as counterintuitive as it seemed, you walked upstairs again, and as confusing as the changing layout was, it didn’t take you long to find it.

You saw the familiar bed, the bed table, the lamp, and the newly added clock on the wall (which didn’t seem to be working) and closed your eyes for a moment. You took a deep breath. And then you decisively walked in to grab the lamp, shivering a bit as you brushed against a much-too-warm wall.

If you couldn’t find the kitchen or a window on the ground floor, then fuck it, you’d find one up here. Whatever broken bones or bruises you’d get from the fall, you’d accept. Finding a window upstairs proved much more doable, as one would line the walls every now and then.

You threw the lamp against the window and braced yourself for impact.

But nothing happened.

The lamp fell to the floor with a hollow thud. When you opened your eyes, you found not a single scratch on the window. So, you tried again. And again. You tried punching the window, earning nothing but a stinging fist.

Yet you continued. At some point, it became more of a tantrum, an expression of your desperation colored in violence, than an attempt to escape. Hitting the window, kicking the wall. “Why-“ you hated this house. You hated it. Hated, hated, hated it. You just wanted to leave. Your ears rang, whether it was from your headache, or the way the house’s groans and creaks had grown in severity, you didn’t know, didn’t care, couldn’t care.

Already unsteady on your feet, your final kick caused you to lose balance entirely.

Stumbling and falling onto the floor, without realizing it, you found yourself by the stairs, and face to face with the painting. Your blood ran cold as you stared into your own lifeless eyes staring down at you from above.

Quiet had fallen over the house like a blanket, only the slow rumble throughout the house bellied any activity. In the heart of the house rested a painting, donning a toothy smile and a certain glint in their eyes.

A satisfied Ms. Abby removed the “For Sale” sign out front and drove away with a hum.

#yandere #yandere monster #yandere exophilia #yandere x reader #minors dni #not proofread #yandere house #written in an hour without any planning #and it shows lol #does this count as yandere or horror? or is this just a really weird house-complaint

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