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dexters-bluemilkshakes · 1 year

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star wars valentine’s day <3

(i’m rlly sorry this was supposed to include han and leia too but i got very tired and then ran out of time)

Padmé and anakin: Anakin was only home for one valentines day with padmé. The other ones, rest assured, were rife with hearts, just human ones that were beating outside of chests and white armor as skin was shredded. Better than the ones that stopped beating.

He honestly??? Was so so lost. He realized only a few days before that he would probably be home for valentines day, assuming he wasn’t called away only a day before like the prior year. He scrambled to a store, but all the chocolates were sold out and the 3 credit roses were wilted. Eventually he arrived at her door out of breath, his hair ruffled from exasperated hands, clutching a bouquet of dandelions he found sprouting between cracks in bricks of some apartment building. When he pictured spending the night with his wife, he had imagined fancy sparkly alcohol and in one hand, a pile of chocolate boxes up to his shoulder and a bouquet larger than her door frame in the other. He wanted to give her everything, anything, but all he had was a pretty rock he found two days prior on the tour he had just returned from and this fresh but underwhelming bouquet.

He was silly to think padmé needed anything less. She had him, after all.

The disaster trio: (disclaimer: if you take either of these in a shipping way im going to block you. My dad sends me flowers every year. My mom sends my brother and me a box of chocolate hearts. Let anakin get his little sister a gift. Let obi wan and anakin be brothers. anyways.)

It was a total coincidence that anakin HAPPENED to buy a little box of chocolates a few days before valentines day. A heart? Whats that! He doesn’t know what that is. He just likes those chocolates more than other brands and it happens to be small and cheap and who cares that it comes with a little stuffed loth-cat in ahsoka’s favorite color? He didn’t notice, and neither should you. It was a coincidence, yes siree.

The first year in their apprenticeship, she wasn’t expecting it. Actually, neither was anakin. They had just come back from a particularly long campaign and he was picking up electrolyte water-adage packets from a drug store because ahsoka was incredibly dehydrated from days of fighting under a merciless sun. He saw them in the store, and he realized Valentines day was coming up, and he just impulse bought it mostly for the plushie but also because he couldn’t remember the last time he saw ahsoka smile.

They didn’t have valentines day on tatooine. He and padmé rarely celebrate more than a clip-art cartoon mutually sent through an encrypted message portal. Anakin had only been home-with padmé- for valentines day once.

They certainly didn’t have valentines day a the temple. It was the definition of indulgent spending on a loved one. Any argument he could make about how relationships and attachment can be separate and that there is an amount implied to be permissible by the order falls outside of valentines day celebrations. Hence, he and obi wan didn’t ever do anything fun like he found out some schoolroom classes do on the holiday. He didn’t think obi wan acknowledged the holiday until looking back from the inside of a metal black suit and realizing that while he was obiwan’s padawan he never had to do boring drills. Instead obi wan took him to Dex’s after a hard day of “mediating walks” in the room of a thousand fountains. After anakin became a knight, obi-wan would always make him a cup of tea to banish the chill of the temple on the winter day. While reflecting, anakin realized he couldn’t quite recall the taste.

Kanan and hera: now. They deny to everyone who asks that they celebrate. They are fighting a rebellion. Its important. They don't have time for frivolous things such as-

Oh never mind he managed to find her a meiloorun despite the galactic shortage.

She glares at him in the way that hera glares when shes mad but not really. She takes it, gently, like its worth its weight in gold (its probably worth more), and pretends she doesn’t recall all the times kanan said he wasn’t hungry or still had plenty of toothpaste left so he could afford it.

Kanan was a jedi. He told her he didn’t need gifts or fancy food, but some quiet time (and then when they adopted the kids-yes zeb is a kid- some time alone) would be nice. He just wanted her. He always did, he told her. he just didn’t have many opportunities to say it.

She flew him to the best sunsets and to the shiniest stars, trying to make him laugh with increasingly frightening flying maneuvers, while he worried about the fruit bruising in the back of the ghost.

Hera, with all her talent and wit, did not notice that even with the most famed sunrises reflecting in her eyes, kanan’s were only on her.

The ghost KIDS however: Oh. oh they are menaces on valentines day. 1) they tease kanan and hera. Relentlessly. 2) chopper steals everyone’s candy. No he cannot eat it. Yes he gives it back to them. He used to just hide them for a few hours to be Chopper ™. Then he would give them to AP-5 to catalog. He had been getting bored of weapons of all the same shade of gray. His old friend was happy to see some new colors.

3) sabine doesn’t make people valentines, but she does help kanan make a card for hera. Ezra insisted on getting kanan and hera a card, and made zeb sign in. Sabine stole the card and drew ezra climbing on zebs shoulders while chopper was trying to shock him. “Thanks for putting up with them so i don’t have to” is what she captioned it, and it was the closest she would get to making something mushy.

4) kanan gets sabine a flower every year. He leaves it in her room when shes not there. Everyone knows not to mention it and sabine pretiends it doesn’t exist, but even ezra notices that she gets a little blue when it finally dies.

5) zeb is the most awkward because. What. is this. He thinks candy hearts are blasphemous and chocolates are dumb but then chopper chucks a box of those honeycomb snacks that he likes at his head and he finds it a little harder to grumble than he did years before.

6) ezra’s mom used to make him a goodie bag of chocolates and candy every year. He pretended not to miss it; he had other things on his mind.

No one on the ship could afford chocolate, but hera gave ezra a long long hug and he found that he didn’t feel as sad anymore.

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mayhemspreadingguy · 2 months

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the sketches were directly inspired by @posthumousvigor 's amazing series The Outcast's Gambit. I couldn't get it out of my head for days... my coping mechanism? draw.

#this fic is deeply rooted in my mind‚ and by now I finished reading it for the second time‚ so yes I do recommend it but #you know how it is‚ read the tags carefully‚ and if this is not your cup of tea clicking away is the path to take #mayhem art #obikin #anakin skywalker #darth vader #obi wan kenobi #star wars

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kingdomvel · 6 months

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The count of Serenno Dooku, with his son Qui-Gon and his grandson Obi-Wan

From my Obikin fic 'Welcome to our castle'

(Click for better quality)

#the plan was for this to have background but I gave up #obligatory im not an artist tag #my art #castle au #star wars fanart #star wars #obikin #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #count dooku #obi wan looks so bad its almost funny #ah #drawing just makes you appreciate artist even more like hoe do they do it #magic i tell you #(a lot of practise and work i know but lets say magic)

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the-music-maniac · 2 years

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On the topic of how way too many people are apparently offended that Obi-wan Kenobi is now canonically bisexual, it genuinely baffles me how many people still think lgbt narratives are unrealistic, especially in a setting like Star Wars.

You're telling me in a world where humans interact with hundreds of different sentient species all with their own cultural nuances and different biology and are able to coexist in relative peace, you think those same people give a rats ass about something as little as SEXUALITY? B u L L s H I T.

Maybe I'm biased because I myself am bisexual, but if I could walk out a door and almost get my ass beat by a giant sentient worm, who other people are fucking would be the least of my worries. Who I choose to fuck would be the least of my worries too. It's a vast universe. Time to experiment. WHO is gonna judge me, huh? An Ergesh, whose species reproduces by planting a seed from their bodies in a swamp called the Shoolbloorp, the "Land of Beginnings," during a special mating ceremony??

Perish.

#it is profoundly stupid #all these straight dudebros star wars fans getting offended it is so FUNNY #sexuality and gender is definitely affected by culture #and we are barely even entirely cishet when we're just mingling with other humans #do you ACTUALLY AND TRULY BELIEVE we would be MORE CISHET in a setting like STAR WARS #obiwan Kenobi #obiwan kenobi is bisexual #im going to tag random obiwan ships because im shameless #obikin #vaderwan #obitine #obianidala #codywan #star wars #star wars prequels #obiwan kenobi show

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tennessoui · 4 months

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kit's fics year in review (2023)

it turns out i wrote a LOT this year (last year now, i guess) according to my ao3 stats, and i saw one of those recap games for another fandom floating around my dash so im absolutely gonna pilfer some of those questions for my own little review + add a few!!

how many fics did you write in 2023? it was definitely the year of the silly short fic for me -- i published a total of 6 new oneshots on ao3 along with 5 fics only on my kofi! i also added at least one chapter to 9 other fics that were already posted. and i started and completed 1 long stand alone fic this year (if you love me let it remain unnamed, clocking in at 37k)

what are you most proud of fic-writing wise in 2023? i finished foolproof, foolhardy! it took more than a year to write, from first published to last updated, but i think the lion's share of the work happened during 2023; it's sort of rare for a fic of mine to get that long (72k), so it was fun to write through all the developments. truly a cracky premise that grew legs and ran away from me, but i'm really proud of how it turned out. the last 4 chapters contain some of my best writing in my opinion and the whole story is a love letter to padawan obi-wan, who will always be my beloved lol

what is the fic you had the most fun writing? this is a tough question because i'm torn between two fics; sun, sun, sun here it comes is probably my favorite oneshot that i've ever written. it sorta incorporates everything that makes a silly little au in my mind, from miscommunication to banter to bonus babies. but then there's i pray the same, but my gods have changed, aka the democratic fic- now that's such a fun fic to write, and i'm going to get more into it this year again. it's the one where tumblr votes on what should happen next, which i absolutely enjoy - especially when people send me propaganda about which option should win....thought the amount of ties that have happened is mind-boggling lol

what is a fic you didn't expect to write? hahaha well this is easily 'a more perfect union' which has been sooo fun to write so far but also definitely has had a very short gestation period from nascent tumblr au post to 25k on ao3 lol and still one more chapter to go!!!

what fic surprised you when you were writing it? oh hands down this is 'hand me down dreams got me high in the rafters', aka the pool boy au from tumblr. the adaptation of it from tumblr au to a fic on ao3 has a crazy tone shift where the obi-wan in that fic is much, much darker than the one in the tumblr au - i really ended up leaning into the unequal power dynamics of a boss/employee relationship and exploring how unhealthy it could be while keeping it consensual -- but only because anakin would allow obi-wan to do whatever he wanted to him

what's a fic you wanted to write but didn't? my poor neglected hunger games au!! i really want to get the first chapter of that posted because i am so excited about this fic and writing it as a new big, long project -- i'm excited about the dark anakin, the differently dark obi-wan, the hunger games set in the gffa, etc etc etc

what is something you learned this year that you'll take into 2024? set is the only acceptable name for anakin to use undercover <3 we will be taking the set cinematic universe into 2024 <3

what's a project you're excited to carry into the new year? um all of my wips lol but especially time & tide and the couples counseling au - i have about half of the next chapter of t&t written, and before i got sidetracked by a more perfect union, i was on track to get that posted by christmas....obviously that did not happen lol but i'm expecting to get back to working on a few more chapter updates at the beginning of this year!

#kit to kit #obikin #i would tag people but i think im really late for this sort of review #and people probably did it a few days ago #but i would love to see any fic reviews other writers do if you use these questions!!!#pls tag me <3

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jessequinnfirstofhername · 1 month

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Hey, you! Random Star Wars fan who's reading this!

Do you have any controversial Star Wars opinions you're just dying to tell the world about?

My inbox is open to all Star Wars confessions. I will react to each and every one, and that is my promise to you. I swear it on Anakin Skywalker's pretty little face. Feel free to submit anonymously if you so wish.

It can be silly, it can be serious, it can be thirsty, it can be rage-filled and bitter, or it can be gushing and giddy.

The opportunities are endless!

Let's cause some chaos! ;)

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grace-nakimura · 7 months

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The Jedi Master, Knight, and Padawan during the Clone Wars (22 BBY - 0 BBY.)

#myedits #mygifs #sw #swedit #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #obiwanedits #askywalkeredit #ahsokatankoedit #atanoedit #ahsokaedit #starwarsedit #PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS OBIKIN.#PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS ANISOKA.#PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS OBISOKA.#FOR THE LOVE OF ANYTHING SACRED PLEASE.#flashing lights /#flashing lights cw

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klm-zoflorr · 1 year

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What if we were nemesises..... And we were holding hands

#IM NOT EVEN SHITTING YOU THATS A REAL THING THAT HAPPENS. WHAT.#obikin #darth vader #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #star wars #sw #why was this a choice that they made. do they not know about the Horrors.#i love it so much #darth vader in his uwuuuu arc #klm-zoflorr #top tag #vaderwan

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kana7o · 1 year

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[Who are you praying to, father?

Be not afraid.]

#obikin #priest and demon au #religion #??? how do tag #ANYWAY theres been a lot of religious/angels au on twitter and i neeeded to contribute #......i say but i also just saw a free stained glass window asset on csp store LMAO #naked anakin a the suggestion of my bebe #also bc cant figure out what he should wear anyway LOL #sw

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embrassemoi · 2 years

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Oh, it’s you.

#do not tag as obikin #THE WAY HE FIXED HIS ROBES 😭 love him #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ewan mcgregor #hayden christensen #star wars prequels #star wars #starwarsedit #swedit #anakinskywalkeredit #hchristensenedit #obiwankenobiedit #ewanmcgregoredit #kenobiedit #star wars episode iii: revenge of the sith #userava

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totallycorrectjediorderquotes · 2 years

Conversation

Anakin: Just saw two Padawans in a fistfight, so as an adult, I had to step in.

Obi-Wan: Oh, good for y—

Anakin: They didn’t stand a chance.

#Do not tag as Obikin #do not tag as ship #Anakin Skywalker #Obi Wan Kenobi #star wars #star wars: the clone wars #incorrect star wars quotes #star wars: the expanded universe #Star Wars the Prequel trilogy #incorrect star wars #source: reddit

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tragedy-for-sale · 21 days

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Left Me with You

Anakin hated when he took away Obi-Wan's happiness, even if it was just pretend.

Sad Obi-Wan is just my favorite thing to write. Apparently. This fic is kinda long and is already up on my Ao3.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

It wasn't often that Obi-Wan and Anakin got to go on meditative retreat together. But even then, as Obi-Wan sat in the field, eyes closed and legs crossed, he could feel it within him, Anakin would be happier if he wasn't here. Obi-Wan opened his eyes, brows furrowed and a concerned frown. He wished he could talk to Anakin about it, but talking wasn't something they did. Obi-Wan wondered of all Anakin would say, if he could speak openly of his love, Obi-Wan smiled at the thought of Anakin, the sparkle of love in his eyes. The sparkle of life. But that smile didn't last long, Anakin would never tell him all about his love, and Obi-Wan would never ask. He wouldn't ruin Anakin's happiness, it was such a rare thing, and Obi-Wan never wanted Anakin to go without it, not if he didn't have to.

Obi-Wan stood up, wrapping his robe around him as he started back to the small vacation home Padme had so graciously allowed them to stay in. He walked among the wildflowers, but he didn't stop to pick a few. They were beautiful, but the moment he touched them, the moment he plucked them from their home, they would die, the moment Obi-Wan touched those beautiful flowers, they would die. So he kept walking, he let them live, he would not touch them, and he would live because Obi-Wan didn't go anywhere near them.

Reaching the house, he took off his sandals and walked into the kitchen. He looked on the counter and saw a vase. Obi-Wan felt as if he'd been struck, those flowers, those beautiful flowers that Obi-Wan had been so tempted to kneel down beside, to take in the smell of spring, to pluck them from their home for his own selfish desires. Those beautiful flowers were impossible not to notice, and now they were on full display as they died- "Hey Obi-Wan," it was Anakin's voice, but Obi-Wan could not stop the ringing in his head long enough to focus, "-picked the flowers-" The sound of flickering embers. "-They're really nice, they smell really good-" he would've led such a meaningful life. "Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan looked up, he found Anakin, "Oh, Anakin," a familiar smile found its way to Obi-Wan's face as he walked over and smelled the flowers, 'I'm so sorry, Master-' he closed his eyes, the smell of spring, early morning rainfall and late night firefly catching. He opened his eyes, "How was the lake?"

Anakin's own smile flickered on his face, but if Obi-Wan didn't want to talk, they wouldn't. Talking wasn't something they did. "It was nice, Master." Anakin remembered fondly, "The water was cool but in the sun," Anakin chuckled, "Man, I almost fell asleep, that's why I came back," Anakin opened the fridge with the intention of finding a snack but he couldn't help his thoughts wandering and lingering on Obi-Wan. Even though they hadn't even been remotely close, Anakin could sense his Master's sorrow. He'd worried about this. He hadn't wanted Obi-Wan to come to Naboo, Anakin had asked Obi-Wan if he'd want to go somewhere else, anywhere else but here. Anakin could sense it since the moment they arrived, Obi-Wan would be happier if he wasn't here.

"Master," Anakin's voice seemed on edge, it certainly caught Obi-Wan's attention, for Anakin could sense Obi-Wan straightening up and crossing his arms. Prepared to ricochet any shots.

"Yes, Anakin?" But his voice was soft, giving nothing away, not his fear, not his anger, not his sorrow. Obi-Wan was always so good at pretending, but Anakin knew that for all of Obi-Wan's confidence, he didn't really mean it.

"We're still gonna be here in four days," Anakin could dance around the point, that was how it worked. Neither one of them dared to look the other in the eye, for both were far too afraid to address all the damage they'd done to the other.

"Yes, we are," Obi-Wan nodded, walking over to the cabinet and looking at the tea. He was so good at that. "Do you want a cup of tea?" He wasn't going to give in, he couldn't.

Anakin nodded, maybe he should drop it, but how could he ignore Obi-Wan's trembling hands? "Master," Anakin said again, Obi-Wan turned, that knowing smile on his face. "It'll be twelve years..."

Obi-Wan felt as if he'd been punched in the gut, the mug became impossibly heavy he could only put it down. His stomach twisted in knots as he struggled to turn to meet Anakin's gaze, "Yes," He mustered out, but his voice trembled. Every year, from the first year to today, Obi-Wan was never any better, he never missed Qui-Gon any less. Obi-Wan resigned, bowing his head, looking down at the counter, "Why do you bring it up?"

Anakin might as well of gut punched Obi-Wan then and there, that would hurt less. He looked at his master, hunched over, fists clenched Anakin could see the white of his knuckles, stray hairs hiding his face and his shoulders tense. He shouldn't have said anything. They didn't talk about things like this, this was why, Anakin. "-When I lost my mother," Anakin's throat went dry, he found it so hard to speak. "When she died-" he looked away, "I can't remember what she sounds like," Anakin wanted to laugh, if only to show Obi-Wan he was okay. "I don't remember her laugh or that song she'd sing while doing laundry, even though she sang it every time she did the-" Anakin hung his head, oh- Oh. What had he done?

Obi-Wan looked up through his hair, he looked terribly alone. "Anakin..." Obi-Wan walked over to Anakin, reaching out his hand, but Anakin remembered the point of all this pain.

"-I still think about my mother, so I know you still think of Qui-Gon." Anakin's voice was quiet, but Obi-Wan heard, like blaster fire, it was all he could hear, it was deafening.

It might've taken Anakin losing his own mother to realize the root of all those tears Obi-Wan cried. He remembered those first few weeks, Obi-Wan was sad all the time, he'd cry after he'd put Anakin to bed, he'd cry after meetings with the council, he'd cry, hand covering his mouth as he realized he was really pathetic. To still not be alright, to still be crying months after. To always be sad. Anakin knew now, Obi-Wan felt like a scared little kid, so he'd cry, he'd cry and cry hoping Qui-Gon would come to tell him not to be afraid, to sing a lullaby and silly songs while doing laundry. But he never came and one day Obi-Wan stopped crying, he didn't cry after a hard mission, not a tear after remembrance ceremonies, not even watery eyes after being told 'you're so much like your master.' Obi-Wan didn't cry, but he cut his hair, meditated on sleepless nights, held his lightsaber to stop his shaking hands. But he did not cry, he did not cry. He would not cry, not in front of Anakin, not in front of anyone. Not anymore.

The tears stopped but the pain never did. It was only a few short years ago Obi-Wan decided he would never cry in front of Anakin and up until now Obi-Wan stood by his vow. But here, right now, Anakin knew him completely, all his pathetic pain and sorrow. His infinite sadness and self-effacing jokes. He'd never let anyone know how sad he would always be, certainly not. But he couldn't hide his water-colored eyes from Anakin, even though they didn't talk, of course he knew. Obi-Wan's voice trembled and all the strength and poise he'd so carefully crafted fell apart. Obi-Wan felt his eyes water, "Oh, Anakin," his voice cracked, "I'm so sorry-" Obi-Wan shook his head, he couldn't look at Anakin, not after the face he made. Oh, Anakin's face. All of Obi-Wan's pain fell into embarrassment, he couldn't pull himself together, and he was so sorry that he couldn't. "I'm sorry, Anakin, for all of this-" for all of me-

Anakin felt everything within him stop, he couldn't think, he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, Obi-Wan hadn't cried in so long- and all it took was Anakin to open his damned mouth to change that. "Please don't cry, Master, please Obi-Wan-" Anakin looked down, voice trembling, all he could do was beg, "I hate it when you cry-" He really did, he hated not being listened to, being talked over and feeling powerless, but what he hated most, more than his own pain and frustration, what seeing that frustration in those he loved. He hated when Padme worked really hard on a speech to not be heard at all, when Ahsoka cried because she missed her friends, when Rex lost a brother. Anakin hated that he couldn't take their pain away, and most of all, he hated that Obi-Wan was sad, he hated that nothing would ever make him truly happy, Anakin hated he couldn't do anything to ease his pain, he hated when Obi-Wan cried because he became powerless, Anakin was a little kid all over again, unable to think because, like his mother, there was nothing he could do to make her tears stop, there was nothing he could do to make Obi-Wan's tears stop.

Obi-Wan wiped his eyes, his forced smile was so similar to his real one, if Anakin didn't know Obi-Wan, he wouldn't know the difference. How many people didn't know the difference? "Anakin, I do apologize," Obi-Wan took a deep breath, pulling himself back in, shoving all this pain down. He came over to Anakin and pulled his former padawan into a hug, "I'm alright, we'll be alright." His voice was so assuring, so knowing, so void of all his suffering. There it was, that holy resignation. Obi-Wan forgetting himself for the sake of others around him, there it was, his unrequiting selflessness.

Anakin held him tightly, just for a moment as he was safe in his master's arms, he felt a wave of grief sweep him out to sea, his feet swept out beneath him; Anakin was so afraid to let go of Obi-Wan, for he'd surely drown, "I miss my mom-" he'd never admit this, not now anyway, but he'd let himself remember his mother's smile, that soft glow in her eyes, the lines of age framing her eternal beauty, he could almost hear her now, "I still feel like a little kid without her-"

Obi-Wan would not let go until Anakin was ready, and when he was, Anakin wiped his eyes, stepping back into the man he'd grown into, a man without a mother. He looked down at Obi-Wan and he didn't see his Master, he saw a man without a father. It was just the two of them as they were, true Jedi: without a mother, without a father. Their family was the Jedi, but to consider the Jedi their family would be forming an attachment, would it not? Obi-Wan had long pondered that, late into sleepless nights, staring at the ceiling. If he was supposed to be ever compassionate, ever loving; if he was raised to love through love, it was rather hard to not become lost in feelings of attachment. "... That never really goes away." Obi-Wan whispered, he still felt like a padawan, he always wished Qui-Gon was still here, that Obi-Wan was still a son. But he wasn't, and Obi-Wan wasn't.

Anakin held his master tight, but not out of his own sorrow, what about Obi-Wan? Anakin remembered council meetings, the two watched by all of their ever-caring stares, all debating Anakin's future with the Jedi, but what about Obi-Wan? If they ever asked about his well-being, Anakin would never know if, in those early days, they made Obi-Wan feel worse by questioning his ability to do this on his own. "Master," Anakin pulled out of their hug, Obi-Wan was all put back together again, with tape and glue, "You don't have to pretend you're alright, not with me."

Obi-Wan's smile flickered, that sadness flooding back into his eyes, "Anakin," Obi-Wan looked down, he almost wanted to laugh, "Oh, you've grown up, haven't you?" He saw Anakin's smile, too bad it was born from sorrow, "You've become the Jedi I always dreamed you would be."

"-And you've become the Jedi Qui-Gon always dreamed you would be-" Anakin put his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, he didn't need to be told, but perhaps it was a nice reminder, "Qui-Gon would be proud of the man you've grown into, Master, you are an honorable Jedi, and a good master, even if at times I didn't think so." This time Anakin laughed, and Obi-Wan almost did too. There was a moment, Obi-Wan had fallen into his thoughts but Anakin's voice brought him back, "What I'm saying, is that it's okay to tell me that you miss him," It's okay if you tell me that you cut your hair after I told you that you looked like him; It's alright if you tell me you hold onto your lightsaber because it makes you feel safe; It's okay if you tell me you meditate instead of sleeping because you only have nightmares of that day; It's okay if you tell me you cry when there's no one around because you want everyone to think you're okay now. "It's okay for you to miss him, Obi-Wan, I know how much you loved him-"

Anakin watched Obi-Wan's eyes flicker, perhaps with surprise, perhaps embarrassment, as if loving the man who raised you as his own was something to be ashamed of. As if mourning Qui-Gon like Anakin mourned his mother was wrong. Anakin put a reassuring hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, sensing the cracks in his master's facade, "It's alright.... If you tell me that you loved him-" Anakin whispered.

Obi-Wan looked up, taking a deep breath, he looked up at his padawan, oh, when did he grow up? He was far beyond that little boy on Tatooine, Anakin had grown up into a Jedi Knight, and now they served together not as master and apprentice, but side by side as Jedi Knights. Obi-Wan blinked and Anakin wasn't scared to let go of Obi-Wan's hand, he wasn't heading to the padawan dining hall, he wasn't practicing his form. No, Obi-Wan blinked and Anakin was putting himself in the line of fire to protect others, bringing meals to Obi-Wan's chambers so they can eat together, making form videos for Ahsoka, Obi-Wan had trained him as best as he was able, and somewhere in the last twelve years, Anakin grew up. Obi-Wan had a sorrowful realization from such a miraculous thing, Anakin had grown up. They worked alongside each other as Jedi Knights, and now Obi-Wan had what he dreamed of, he had what he always wanted, what Qui-Gon always wanted.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The problem is that you're not the Jedi you should be, you're not the Jedi your master wanted and trained you to be, you're a Jedi Master, member of the Jedi Council, but really, you're still just a padawan whose master died, and you never got over it.

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