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#dnd quotes
sephiramy · 1 year
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preserving some of my favorite D&D/TTRPG tweets for posterity
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gods-graveyard · 19 days
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Marauders/Royal court as quotes from my DND group (part 2)
James "I am James Potter, and I have bounderies now"!!! Barty "I understand your perspective but I just had violent oral sex" Peter "Cold water" James "Justin Beiber" Remus "Who"? Sirius "Oh fuck man- do I give off Justin Beiber vibes"? Pandora "If you die on the river... ill never know" James "Regulus do you not trust me anymore"? Barty "Lie to him Reggie" Regulus "Nah its just that your now really fucking hot-"   Sirius "REGGIE NO" Dorcas"I gave you words, I didn't follow them myself because im better than you" Evan "What are you doing in Slytherin, you don't look the type" New Slytherin "Is this racism"? Evan "No its classism, you are dirty and poor" Sirius "Okay so everyone around you dies BUT you get to meet Beyonce" Marlene "I feel like you get bullied by your friends" Sirius "Ha they wish- i'm the bully, wait no i don't bully, i'm not a bully"!
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dnd-on-a-budget · 4 months
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I'm a working class girl. I'd put all the nobles' heads on spikes.
NPC bartender
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quinnyyyleft · 22 days
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DM Tip - You can try to make scary monsters all you like - there will always be one player to call it "Cute" or "Kinda fit though" and there's nothing you can do about it.
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threeroadsmeet · 4 months
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Even more out of context quotes from a session of Curse of Strahd
*waving arms* "we're in the bone zone"
"We stan undead rights here"
"Is there a spell create blood?" "yeah it's called called a dagger"
*DM cackling gleefully*
The party : "did this dude just turn into an overpowered anime villain"
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cinnamon-dragon · 2 years
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[Image description]: A screenshot from Exandria Unlimited: Calamity Wrap Up. It’s a photo of Brennan Lee Mulligan sitting on a purple couch saying “Comedy completes the realization that drama begins”.
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incorporeal-apricot · 5 months
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d&d quotes
"Remind me when you're out of combat to have you and Muds roll a check together."
"Is it a hand holding check?!"
"Remind me to have you roll two checks."
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thetealhummingbird · 7 months
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Some memes from our horror dnd campaign.
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possumkingluca · 10 months
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dumb quotes from the strixhaven and now homebrewed after graduation campaign i'm in that i think about a lot with context only when it's necessary (and some from the campaign groupchat and conversations i have had with other members or the DM): "If you don't make a move I'll date him" (the person saying this had a boyfriend.) "Taste the rainbow bitch"
"I BECAME A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN" "FUCK YOU MELENTOR" "I hope the latex gets caught in your throat" "I wish my biological parents ate me" "A necromancer never dies" (right before dying) "I HAVE A PIPE BOMB" "We're going to drag Grayson out of his office by his ankles" (right before finding him tied up in a closet and finding out he has been being tortured for SIX FUCKING MONTHS) "I want to crack Grayson's spine like a glowstick" (Unrelated to previous quote and also completely unprompted) "That is NOT a kobold, that is john from lit 101" "Just pocket change to you guys" (1,000 PLATINUM???) "Go play with your boy toy of a lizard" "Stop running away and give me a fair fight" (person saying this literally was incapable of taking damage. I am not exaggerating. we had no other choice than to run away like sissy little babies because WE COULD NOT DAMAGE HIM.) "YOU LEFT ME IN THE SAND"
"Should've put it in a wig" (zombie) "He's gonna call me a whole swear word :(" "Mr. Alex I don't feel so good" (while becoming a rock) "You'll never amount to anything" (uncalled for)
"Not if i'm fast enough" (frequent) "Stop bullying the blind guy" (FREQUENT) "The seahorse fortnite dances" "WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A DISEASED MR BEAN" "We need to take away this guy's balls" "You forgot Alex's half shaven beard" "Get out of my house" (frequent) "Slaad jerky" "Teeth chandelier" "Aero works on something with Nora, Alex has a heartwarming moment, Alok.. cuts his hand open, AND RAMPART'S GOING TO WAR." "Friendship ended with KACKLES Now MINA'S CREATURE FROM THE ABYSS is my best friend" "Fuck you" "I'd rather not see that" "azazel kinda hot, hopefully quentillius's type" "🤨" "YOU ARE NOT TAXIDERMYING AN ENTIRE ADULT DRAGON AND PUTTING IT ON MY HOUSE" "Funeral Outfit" "You look drop dead gorgeous" (actual compliment) "Don't patronize me." "We're just discussing how Azazel doesn't have any friends" "OH GODS HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE FROGS" "FOR GRANDMAAAAAAAAAA" "STOP MAKING DRAZHOMIR CRY" (FREQUENT) "...do you think quentillius would care if I trashed his dorm and left a puddle of blood on the carpet?" "YEAH?" "Quenzazel" "you are not supposed to encourage this" "You want to kiss him ON THE LIPS" "Aurora's the only one who won't psychoanalyze me" "I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK" "Is this Rampart's friend?" "NO" "He's fine-" "Oh thank god" "But-" "NO." "Don't eat it" (frequent) "I have interacted with Larine like 4 times and we are best friends" "I almost died saving a man I knew for 5 minutes" "Me and Urzmaktok are out of a job! :D Strixhaven shut down! :D" i will add more. that is a threat.
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unwilling-therapist · 5 months
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If I marry, it will be for tax evasion.
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Greasing a child is where we draw the line.
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ladyphlogiston · 6 months
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Druid: you might want to stop that...and possibly cut your hand off
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gods-graveyard · 19 days
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Marauders/Royal court as quotes from my DND group (part 3)
Dumbledore "I do not look for charm or cunning in my warlocks, only spirit- which you have plenty" Peter "Well thanks-" Barty "I will never be scared of a mummy, they are papery little bitches" Remus “Sirius, would you still like me if I wasn't… me” Sirius “Like if you were a worm”? Dorcas “You guys are like cockroaches I swear…” Barty “I get it from my mother” Dorcas “You have a mom”? Regulus “What's her name.” Sirius "I thought you said I wish I had my mother's homophobia-" Sirius "What do we say? Come to the Order we have stakes for you" James "Does she like steak"? Evan “The whip is limp and noodly in your hands”  Barty “Ah- i'll try and get it up next round”
Remus "Don't name them you'll get attached-" James "Okay so this is not Jeremy, Not Reginald, Not Howard, and Not Adam" Barty/Evan "Consent if for sex, not murder"
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dnd-on-a-budget · 5 months
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Odette, our wizard: Would you consider joining a cult? NPC: No Odette: But it's a fun cult NPC: Yeah my cousin went down that road.
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me: so for my new character I'm thinking of making her an amazon warrior paladin.
dm: sounds good! any name ideas?
me: alek'sa.
dm:
dm: get out
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threeroadsmeet · 7 months
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Out of context quotes from a session of Curse of Strahd
"Chill touch...better known as Litch slap"
"Can I vibe check his sermon?"
"I don't need to talk to people that's what I have all of you for"
"we are a bunch of 1%ers, we are here to solve your problems"
"yeah that's a good role, I am a persuasive little boy"
"the DND version of Pedialyte"
"Okay I need you to conjure me a cork board and red string I am gonna detective board this shit"
"hey...smile or die"
"Time is a weird soup"
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