I just watched some chaotic moments from The Great British Bake Off and I desperately, desperately want a cooking competition AU where Bruce is just this little agent of adorable chaos
It still takes place during the pandemic, so the contestants must bake from their own kitchens. If course, formalities aside, this is national television and people still want to look their best.
Bruce? He shows up in his fancy little robe with a Nirvana shirt under, hair a bird's nest from taking a clinical nap, but somehow still fluffy, some smudged eyeliner still drying under his eyes. The very definition of a hot mess.
Alfred is clearly seen face-palming behind him and Bruce is very oblivious to it. He's just fighting for his life trying to smear frosting on his little cupcakes.
The cupcakes are literally melting in his hands and he's like " That's good enough, isn't it?"
" No, you fuckin' muppet--"
" Mr. Pennyworth, no swearing please"
" Oh I'm sorry. What's next, forbid me from breathing?"
Bruce is such a spoiled brat and everyone has such a good time watching him pout at Alfred to do the work for him. Sometimes the judges just fail him to watch him pout and throw a little tantrum
Of course, little Dick Grayson is there to help (read: Make things harder for Bruce) as much as he can.
Which includes napping on his dad's shoulder, occasionally waking up when Bruce needs a taste tester. Bruce makes the news all because his little sweetheart eating cake from his hand half asleep
Bruce and Alfred have a bigger challenge; Trying to hide Batman.
[Bat screeching from the cave]
Bruce, looking straight to the camera: Ignore that
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we never talk enough about Duke's "what, like it's hard" response to having figured out all the robins & batman & disguised Alfred's identities. he knows all their names, current status, insecurities, and family dynamics, and does nothing about it.
"I've solved a lot of hard in my time. This ain't hard."
"You don't know me." "Kid, I don't think you know you."
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