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15minlatewithbatbucks · 11 months

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It's forty minutes into the latest state of the company press conference and Bruce has had to mute his mic entirely to avoid being turned into a meme AGAIN for sighing too much at his own event. For all that he's spent almost 20 years coaching his own children on not making scenes, he's really not much better. It's hot and he doesn't want to be here. His ribs hurt. He's tired. He's hungry. He's every excuse Dick or Jason have trotted out over the years.

(Tim understands company manners and can almost always be trusted to stick it out as long as he's allowed to vent his frustrations afterwards. He's recently taken to smashing ugly thrifted dishes. Stephanie and Damian have been collecting any ceramic not entirely pulverized and turning them into pavers for Alfred's garden.)

(Bruce gave up after Tim. He really only needs one kid to tag along to social events. If the kid start to outnumber him they start getting IDEAS.)

His distraction is why it takes two very rude repetitions of his name for him to take notice at the young reporter pushing his way to the front. Lucius stands, cutting off the project manager currently presenting and speaks into the mic.

"Please keep hold all questions until the end of the presentation, thank you."

"Mr. Wayne," the reporter tries again and Bruce waves away Lucius's further protests.

"Can I help you?" He asks, smiling with the full force of Brucie Wayne's charm behind it. It's been awhile since his last scandal, but if the press is inventing drama then it's less work for him.

The man holds up a photograph almost accusingly. He reeks of gotcha journalism.

Bruce squints towards him, unable to fully make out the contents of the photo. Dick may have been right when he gently suggested Bruce add glasses to his Brucie Wayne persona but that was a hill Bruce was still willing to die on. It was bad enough he had to have a prescription COWL.

"What do you have to say about the presence of your adopted son, Timothy Drake at the illegal mob in Robinson Park last Saturday?"

"Drake-Wayne," Bruce corrected because Tim hyphenated, damn it. He was the first of his children to let Bruce tag the Wayne name on and it mattered, damn it. "Wait do you mean-"

"How about reports of him kissing a man while there?"

"A blond man?" Bruce asked, finally giving up and crossing to take the photo for himself. "Oh. No, that's his boyfriend."

There was a beat of silence before Bruce realized his mistake. Just as the reporters began to squall, he dropped the blurry photo and began to speed walk off, phone suddenly in hand.

Through the podium's microphone, the gathered reporters heard one thing as Bruce evacuated the immediate vicinity.

"Tim? Don't be mad."

---

Despite Bruce's best efforts, he becomes a meme.

---

Immediately following the bombshell that Timothy Drake-Wayne had a boyfriend, social media blows up, clamoring for more information. They're ravenous for it, desperate. Tim doesn't have a personal social media presence but they stalk his professional accounts religiously. Bruce does have personal social media, but he maintains radio silence.

In the end, a Gotham based "influencer" stumbles across Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne getting donuts at Kosher Donuts and Co. Dick is personable, as always, and stops to speak with the young woman briefly.

"Yeah, Tim wasn't mad," he laughs when asked. "Just disappointed. But man, he knows how to milk it."

"Bruce is in the doghouse, huh?" she asks, full of false sympathy.

"A little bit," Dick says as Damian mumbles, "Titus would never share."

"But," Dick continued. "Tim's spun it so Bruce is on the hook for like, half a million in donations for local LGBT charities. Tim says it would hurt less if he sponsored a new shelter too, so that's something to look forward to."

"That's a lot of money! Where's it all going?"

"Oh you know," Dick says and gestures vaguely. "A lot of different programs."

"Yeah? Anything you personally want to see done with the funding?"

"Drag story time," Damian answers before Dick can. He looks intense. "But not for children. For dogs. In the shelter."

---

A day later, Tim breaks the silence. He goes live on Bruce's Instagram.

"So the problem was that Bruce thought the reporter was saying I was being unfaithful," Tim explains. "He totally forgot I wasn't out to everyone yet. Bruce was just worried because he's already told me if I break up with my boyfriend, he's not uninviting him from any future family events."

"Luckily, I was in fact just kissing my boyfriend at PRIDE. Just because people got shifty with the permits at the last second because of protestors doesn't make it an illegal mob. If you wanna hear about Wayne's and illegal mobs, talk to Dickie about his younger years. Nothing I do can compare."

#tim drake #bruce wayne #dick grayson #batfamily #dc pride #happy pride #timbern #wrote this on my phone so good luck with grammar or spelling #my writing tag

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shahrwrites · 16 days

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I’m definitely gonna curse myself later for having written and posted this, but here we go.

I present to you: Batkids x skincare time (aka face masks, specifically.)

Jason’s just lying down with a book in hand, lazing around, having applied a face mask.

Dick enters.

He takes one look at Jason.

And much to Jason’s horror, he wails a bloody scream.

“WHO IS THIS MONSTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM.”

Jason just flips him off with a somber expression.

The woes of having an older brother who acts like an insufferable younger brother.

——————

When Dick applies a face mask, it sits so perfectly on and fits so well around his face as if his face was the base standard for all face masks.

Needless to say, everybody’s jealous.

I’m imagining him with literal sparkles around his face as if he’s the perfect anime girl protagonist, and a ridiculous smile.

——————

Barbara’s sitting on her chair behind the monitors, eyes closed as she gently softens the face mask on her skin.

“Oracle,” comes Batman’s grumpy voice from the comms.

“In a second!” She responds, having finished up.

She cracks her knuckles, a maniacal smile spread on her lips. “Time to ruin some thugs day.”

Flash-forward to twenty minutes later, sounds of screams and pleas coming back to her from Batman’s comm.

A pleased smile is plastered on her face. “Ahhh. Like remedy for my soul!”

——————

Contrary to public assumption (aka his siblings), Tim takes skincare very seriously. Alas, he falls asleep every time he applies a face mask.

——————

Damian has to be chased around like a cat afraid of taking showers when it’s time for face masks. There are nails (read claws) and scratches involved.

At some point or another, Tim just throws the mask at his face like that one meme with parents throwing cheese at their babies. (If you haven’t seen it please search it up. I promise it’s so fucking funny lmao)

Damian, fuming, has that murder look™️ in his eyes.

Then—

Huh.

He actually kinda likes the cold, sticky wet feeling on his face????

Of course, he’ll die thrice over before telling Drake that.

——————

Steph is big on skincare. Cass, though? Honestly, she could do without them. But it’s Steph. So of course she indulges her.

And they have the best time, too.

So there are masks on their faces, and Cass is goofing around a little at the beginning, making faces at Steph and making her laugh. Steph has to bat her hands away from the mask to stop her from tearing it up.

Then they settle down and sit together on a rug in the middle of the living room, nail polish of all colors (and I mean all colors. Every shade. Glittery and regular and opaque alike,) spread all around them. There’s pop music blasting from somewhere in the room, and Steph is doing Cass’ nails with a polish she’s just bought last week, experimenting with a new technique she’s learned on the youtube.

Cass loves being Steph’s model. Her nails usually end up so pretty.

Cass can do without skincare days, but honestly? They’re too much fun to miss on when she’s doing it with Steph. They fool around and they listen to music and they gossip.

And she ends up having had such a good time in the end.

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evandarya · 2 years

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Heat

{Read on AO3}{Part 1}

"I don't know what scares me more, Dickie. That you invited strangers to Bruce's private stretch of beach for a bonfire, or that they agreed to come." Jason said. They had been hauling logs around for half the day, building what could easily be a small beach hut that they were going to set on fire. Not that Jason was against fires, far from it, but they had only met Jazz and Danny and Dani-with-an-i the day before. Jason would love to get to know Jazz more and figure out why the Green reacts to Danny the way it does, but this seems forward, even for Dick.

"I'm good with people." Was Dick's only answer.

"You're a class A manipulator, that's what you are." Jason shot back.

"Well, you know what they say: "Mansplain, Manipulate, Malewife." Dick hoisted the last log onto the pile and brushed the dirt from his hands.

"What?" Jason asked, bewildered.

"It's a meme. Don't you ever go on the internet?"

"Yeah, for research, not memes."

"Oh my gods, don't tell Tim that, you'll break the little nerd's heart."

"Whatever, what time are they supposed to get here?" Jason asked as they headed back to the beach house.

"They should be here soon. I told them the pizza will be here at eight." Dick checked his watch. "I bought enough to feed an army of Flashes with enough left for midnight snacks."

"That delivery driver is going to hate you," Jason said with a grin.

"I tipped them 50 percent, so they shouldn't be too mad," Dick said, knocking the sand from his sandals and stepping into the house.

There was a knock on the door and Dick answered to find Danny, Jazz, Dani, and a delivery woman each holding a warming bag.

“Hey, Dick,” Dani said with a smile. “When you said you were going to have enough pizza to feed an army I thought you were exaggerating.”

“I never exaggerate about food,” Dick said, thanking the delivery driver and waving everyone in. The delivery person unloaded the pizzas and took her warming bags back. Dick slipped her an extra twenty, which she tried to refuse but Dick slipped it into one of the bags.

“Richard! Did you remember to order a veggie pizza for me?” Damian asked as he came into the kitchen. Tim almost bowled him over when he stopped dead at the sight of Dani. “Hello, Danielle. It is nice to see you again.”

“Don’t stop in the middle of the walkway brat, Tim said, pushing around Damian to check the pizza boxes.

“Hey, Dames! I think I saw a veggie and a plain cheese on the order slip,” Dani offered cheerfully.

“We didn’t know what kind of drinks you liked,” Danny said, setting his backpack down and unzipping it. “So we got a bit of everything.” Danny pulled out three two liters of soda from his backpack and set them on the counter. Jazz set her own bag down and pulled out a jug of sweet tea and a two-liter of lemonade.

“You didn’t have to get anything!” Dick said. “I made juice and tea.”

“Your tea is too sweet, Dick,” Jason said, taking a slice of pepperoni pizza from one of the boxes and biting into it. “I’d like tea, not diabetes.”

“Diabeetus.” Danny and Tim said at the same time. They met eyes and both looked away with a blush.

“Fine.” Dick fake pouted. “Let's eat so we can start the bonfire.”

***

Tim had never been to a bonfire before. He’d been to housefires and fires caused by explosions, some he set off himself, but he’d never really sat in front of a fire for the fun of it. Dick had run off almost as soon as the fire was lit, saying something about going to get marshmallows, but he hadn’t seen his brother since. Dani and Damian were sitting side by side on a log across the fire from him, holding a quiet conversation. Dani laughed at something Damian had said and Damian blushed in response. Jason and Jazz had disappeared pretty quickly, claiming they wanted to go on a walk, but they left holding hands, so Tim figured they wanted some alone time. Danny was sitting on the sand next to him, drawing some intricate symbols in the sand. Tim watched him for a moment, enjoying the heat from the fire. It was a nice contrast from the cool sea breeze blowing across his neck and back.

“What’s that?” Tim asked. Danny froze and a red flush crept up his neck that had nothing to do with the fire.

“Just, ah. Nothing, really.” Danny said, obliterating the symbols with his hand. “Just, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

“Is it like a secret code or language or something?”

“No, more like a summoning script,” Danny said.

“To summon what?” Tim asked. He knew summonings were real, and if Danny was involved in magic, well, that was something the Justice League would be interested in.

“The Ghost King,” Danny said, waving his hands around in a way that was supposed to be spooky before laughing.

Tim laughed, too. It felt nice. Danny had an easy casualness about him, something Tim couldn’t help but feel drawn to. Danny leaned back against the log Tim was sitting on and stretched his arms out, brushing Tim’s leg as he did so.

“This is nice,” Danny said, gazing up at the sky. “Back home I don’t have time to just look at the stars anymore.”

“You can’t see the stars where we live, too much light pollution,” Tim said, gazing up as well. “I never have been able to pick out constellations.” All the bats knew enough about the stars to navigate by them, but picking out shapes from the thousands of stars up there was never Tim’s goal.

“It’s not hard, once you know how to find them,” Danny said, pointing up toward the sky. “In the northern hemisphere, you can always find the Big Dipper. You see those four stars in kind of a square with three more heading off to the side?” Tim looked but he couldn't see where Danny was pointing, so he slid off the log and sat closer to Danny. Just so he could follow his finger as he traced the different constellations in the sky. And if the places where their arms touched burned a little hotter? Well, that was because of the fire.

***

“So,” Jason said. He wasn’t sure what to say. Should he bring up the fact that the pit reacts to her brother? Then he’d have to explain the pit to her. Or maybe he should just ask where they are from, and look into it later? That's a normal question, right?

“What brings you to Florida?” Jazz asked before he made a decision.

“Mandatory Family Bonding Time,” Jason said. “You?”

Jazz laughed, full and loud. Jason was glad it was dark because he didn’t want her to see the heat creeping up his neck. “Our parents are here for a conference. They wanted Danny to come to help them out and I knew if I didn’t come, too, they would make him work all weekend. Then Dani heard about it and invited herself along, too.”

“Was Dani not invited to begin with?” He wondered aloud.

“Dani’s not technically our sister, she’s more like a cousin, so she doesn’t live with us.” Jazz said. “But she and Danny are close, they have a lot in common. He feels responsible for her, so he’s always treated her like a little sister.”

“Do your parents treat her like a daughter?” Jason asked.

“No, to them she’s a distant cousin.” Jazz looked out toward the ocean, thoughtful. “They aren’t bad parents, but they get caught up in their own work and everything else falls by the wayside.”

“That's why they were okay with you going to a stranger’s beach house for a late-night bonfire?” Jason asked with a grin.

“Are you a stranger?” Jazz asked. “I thought we had got to know each other pretty well yesterday.” Jazz stopped walking and turned to face Jason, her hand resting lightly on his chest, looking up at him with those soft teal eyes. Before he knew what he was doing he leaned forward and met her pink lips with his own.

The kiss lasted for only a few seconds before he pulled away. Before he got too far Jazz pulled him back down into a deeper kiss. One of Jazz’s hands snaked up to rest on his neck, keeping him exactly where she wanted him. He could break free, but why would he want to?

***

Damian was used to the heat. Growing up in the desert had made him used to it. He didn’t understand the appeal of a bonfire. Campfires to keep warm and ward off predators, sure. But the fire Grayson had made was too large and required too much wood and put off too much heat to be comfortable. An issue Drake and Fenton didn’t seem to share as they sat cuddled up on the sand.

“Come on, Dames, let's go before they start kissing,” Danielle said, grabbing his hand and pulling him up. They walked hand in hand along the beach. Danielle seemed to have a destination in mind, so he allowed her to lead him. They were quiet for a long time until Danielle broke it. “I’ve never been to the beach before. I’ve been almost everywhere in the country, but I’ve never thought of going to a beach.”

“Does your family travel a lot?”

“No, Danny and Jazz have school and jobs.”

“You don’t have school?” He had been taught everything in the league, but Father still made him go to school.

“Let's climb up there,” Dani said, pointing to an outcropping of rock. There was an obvious and well-worn trail leading to the top.

"Who do you travel with, if it isn't your siblings," Damian asked as they started up the trail.

"I go alone, most of the time. Sometimes Cujo comes with me."

"Your parents make your siblings go to school, while you are allowed to travel alone?" Something was wrong with this family if that was the case.

Dani gave him a look over her shoulder that he couldn't quite grasp in the darkness. "You know I'm not actually Danny and Jazz's sister, right? Their parents aren't my parents. My father is their uncle."

"And your father is okay with you traveling alone?"

"Not exactly, but the less he knows about me and where I am the better. He isn't exactly nice." They had reached the top of the cliff by this point and Dani walked right to the edge overlooking the ocean, unafraid of falling. "It's beautiful."

Damian couldn't spare a glance at the water, instead, he watched Danielle's face, happy and calm, and made a vow. No harm shall come to Danielle as long as he could prevent it.

#BatPhamSummerSendOff2022 #Heat #Dick Grayson #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Damian Wayne #Jazz Fenton #Danny Fenton #Danielle Fenton #Brain Dead #Anger Management #dp x dc #Batman #Danny Phantom #Tim Drake/Danny Fenton #Jazz Fenton/Jason Todd #Danielle Fenton/Damian Wayne

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awkwardgtace · 23 days

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For the ask game, 🔪, ❄️ and 🦴 :3

ask game

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

ohh ok this is hard. A dream theme would probably be a good mystery I can't start piecing together or a horror novel that scares me. For mystery I oddly enough think Brandon Sanderson would be good. I've been unable to predict things moving forward in the Stormlight Archives. But honestly I think it would be written best by someone who hasn't even tried before. There's a way of placing clues in a mystery I feel a lot of people follow. Most of the time those clues placed by someone new wouldn't have the same easy to tell hints and tips.

For horror I kind of am expecting Lydia Prime to do it. She's a newer author on the horror scene (actually have a book she just managed to publish I plan to pick up). I also some comedians would be good at it. Comedy is kind of the other side, takes a lot to do it. I don't know who would be best for this outside of like a pro author. I'm pretty hard to scare, make a habit of marathoning horror games and horror movies just because. That does mean I get psyched to read any horror sent my way that might be good!

For a dream plot it's kinda hard to say. I know how my brain works, but honestly even if i'm not super into it I just like seeing people posting/sharing the stuff they put their time into. It's so scary to take that first step so it's really amazing when someone does and they keep going.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

Ok so this one is kind of a lot. For some of my stories it's probably some myth, post, or my own daydream mixed from anime/games/books throughout the years.

Specific media would be MTG Streets of New Capenna set (Mafia AU), Fenyx Rising (Delphia rising), FF14 (some fanfics and an au i am working on), Oddly enough a story I have on and off struggled with was inspired by a yugioh series, Godzilla vs Kong (the fight for Rhys and Felix in mafia au). My gods might have been inspired by the old hercules disney movie.

Oh Delphia is a bit inspired by an Kagome in Inuyasha (got me looking into reincarnation). oh and a book series I read forever and ever ago. The Eternal Ones by Kirsten Miller. (I went to my bookshelf to find this title.)

I also do love mythology and folklore so I'm sure that's a big inspiration even if it's not obvious. (obsessed with fairies since I was like born. My sister can't even remember a time i wasn't).

Basically it's everything? I have a few characters I've realized over time fit a meme a little or i put together match someone i loved from a game.

Oh last one I can think of. Alice in Wonderland. I loved that from the disney movie, to the books, to the manga based in it, to the new tim burton movies. Pretty much the only time I haven't liked it was in RWBY 😅

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? I feel weird leaving this one out in the open, but like also it's not exactly nsfw. just a little insight into my weird thought process at times

ok so originally it was gonna be the general size of a dick/vagina of the average person to then do the ratio for how big it should be for a giant/how small for a tiny. In searching for this math (cause ofc i only shared it on discord) I realized i had an entire discussion that involved at least a little research where i determined it's incredibly viable that if giants and tinies are under the same homo species it would possible to successfully get pregnant in a multisize couple with the question being the survival rate of the child/birth parent dependent on a number of factors....

I used the dick knowledge in one (1) specific story i wrote on ao3. The pregnancy knowledge was lost until now.

Most likely to get me arrested was how much a person could move after a stab wound

for those curious this was the percentages i came up with are under the cut

balls: 2.7% of total height per ball dick: 6.9% of total height pussy opening: 4.8% of total height pussy depth: 6.3% of total height

#awkwardanswers #lore about mee!#my brain is all over the place sometimes lol

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volucerrubidus · 1 year

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😎

Shipping Meme II Accepting (OOC) II 😎 - Familial

That sounds precious, and I'm very interested! A couple ideas on how to make this happen spring to mind (under a cut bc this got long, so sorry!)

There's the in-law route, which is fairly self explanatory! The pros: it is a very sweet dynamic because it builds off of literal legal familial relationships, via Tim and Dick being bonded as brothers and Dick and Wally being legally married, and it allows for a very domestic tone to come across the interactions! The cons: Tim has a weird relationship with the intersection of The Bats and Considering Himself Family With Them, since he has a tendency to not consider himself a part of the immediate family. It's like Dick is his brother, but he doesn't take the liberty of assuming that Dick sees Tim as Dick's brother, if that makes sense! Overall: I see this working very well, and the con could be turned into a pro by nature of it allowing for character and relationship development between Tim and Wally, as a growing closeness between Tim, Dick, and Wally altogether would help solve that rift that Tim puts there!

There's also the Timthad route, if you're interested in something a bit more contentious at first! (This can technically be done in tandem with Option 1, so these aren't mutually exclusive)! The pros: SOOO much tension, which makes for dynamic storytelling and a clear arc of development for us to write! The cons: Is the rift between Thad and Wally just simply too big for this to work well? Overall: It could be interesting, but it is very complex, so I totally understand if that's not quite the vibe we want!

Outside of Tim and Wally's relationships with others, I offer one more route that is solely based around Tim and Wally interacting: a mentor-mentee relationship that develops into something familial! This would be Titans Era Tim going to Wally for advice on being a part of the Titans, and even for sometimes acting as a leader on the Titans, and over time, their discussions or meetups about this start to turn toward other forms of bonding, like training, off-duty recreational activities, and eventually, more somber moments like turning to each other in times of hardship, or being there to help the other in the field! The pros: This is a great way to isolate Tim and Wally's relationship specifically! The cons: It might be odd that Tim goes to Wally before he goes to Dick. I think this could be solved through some sort of in-universe explanation, though, and honestly, it could also just be a non-factor, since this is RP and we simply are just two people who write these two characters, and we want to see them interact lol. We don't technically have to explain it at all.

If you have any ideas as well, please feel free to lemme know in the replies, or in my DMs, and I look forward to hearing from you about this! This sounds delightful! I would love to do this with you!

#{answered asks}#{ooc}#crimsxnbolt

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megamindsupremacy · 2 years

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DC Twitter must have been INSANE when it got out that Superboy’s dads were Superman and Lex Luthor. Holy shit. The memes. The ship wars. The homophobes. The mpreg jokes. People would have lost their fucking minds. Lex Luthor releases a statement like “he’s a clone of me and Superman no birth was involved” and people are like KINDA GAY OF YOU TO HAVE A SON WITH ANOTHER MAN, LUTHOR. Lexcorp’s PR team locks themselves in a conference room and refuses to come out for love or money.

#mads posts #dc #conner kent #Kon-El #superboy #Superman #Clark kent #lex Luthor #Wally spams the titans groupchat with memes #dick forwards the memes to Tim #Tim spams the young Justice groupchat with those memes #Bart sees them and is like ‘oh Wally would love these they’re just his brand of humor’ and forwards them to him #and so the circle of life continues #everyone is separately @ing each other on their secret identity twitter accounts #like DID YOU SEE THIS MEME #YEAH I SAW IT HAS CONNER SEEN IT YET #NO HES REFUSINH TO LOOK AT HIS PHONE SINCE CASSIE @ED HIM ON A LEX LITHOR MPREG FANART #AT WHAT POINT DID THIS PASS 15K WHAT #15k

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outoftheframework · 3 years

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my proposal for tropes we as a fandom should adopt in all fanworks going forward: Duke Thomas edition

So every fandom has tropes and characterization quirks that have been generally accepted into fanon and, like, maybe? they were originally based on some obscure comic panel from the 80s or something but it doesn’t really matter because we’re all just,,, cool with it? Like for example- in the dc comics fandom, an art piece could show 3 of the bats that look virtually identical except one of them is holding a box of cereal so that one is obviously Dick Grayson. . . Y’know?

Anyway, these things usually come up naturally I guess but I’ve been here a while and it’s finally time to put my foot down. It’s high time for Duke Thomas to be more in fanon than “the sane one.” Because he might be the relatively new guy but he is certainly fears no gods or laws of the land just as much as the other bats, lemme tell ya.

TL;DR here are character quirks (”canon-based” or otherwise) that we should all really latch onto seriously I’m begging y’all to make at least one of these happen-

Duke “Habitually Jumping Out of Moving Vehicles” Thomas

This one’s actually based in canon y’all; Duke did indeed yeet himself out of the back of a cop car and off of a bridge (in We Are... Robin). Normalize Duke’s wearing knee and elbow pads as Signal because jumping out of a car turns out relatively fine once and then suddenly Batman’s rooftop disappearing act seems mellow compared to the amount of times Gordon has whipped his head around to see a now Signal-less backseat.

Like, he’s going 60 mph?? And he didn’t even hear the door open?? and tHE DOORS ARE STILL LOCKED??

Imagine this leaking into civilian life and Bruce waking up to a blurry photo of Duke mid-escape from a limousine on the front page of the Gotham Gazette.

(more under cut)

Duke “Puzzles are my Passion” Thomas

Duke is ~canonically~ very skilled at both solving and concocting riddles (as a child during that time where The Riddler just,,, controlled Gotham, he worked non-stop on riddles, trying to make the perfect one). Please y’all- let Duke solve puzzles. Have the other bats ask him for help after 36 hours straight of brooding over some brainteaser that Duke works out within the half-hour. He texts a picture of the solution scribbled out on loose leaf in the margins of his pre-calc homework because this boy shows his work.

My guy is a word-cross FIEND. A mind-sweeper speed-runner. That guy who mails into the Gazette to correct a solution in the “fun & games” section and also ps that photo is not of me I am simply a polite young man who is much too busy writing into the paper in the year 2021 to jump out of limos-

I also would love to see this integrated into the type of cases he investigates / runs into on his daytime patrol. Like, obviously the criminal activity is going to dramatically differ before and after sundown, but that doesn’t make Duke’s work any easier or less important. It’s a different skillset; he has to work differently. Instead of jumping into fights, halting mob meetings, saving civilians in dark allies, etc. Duke has to sort through all of the moving pieces before they all converge into something catastrophic.

It’s a known fact that criminal organizations in Gotham make and execute a lot of behind-the-scenes plans during the day specifically not to run into the bats. And Duke knows and monitors this shit all by himself; his work is crucial to logistics and information gathering for the bats as a whole. Now criminals have like, a 2 hour gap between bat-shifts to try and get stuff done. But Duke would 100% set traps on timers or lead them on this pre-set convoluted goose chase to distract them until the night bats come out and to let himself enjoy the whole thing playing out on the news while he finishes homework that’s due at midnight.

Duke “I Know a Guy” Thomas

So in going off of the basic concept for the “We Are. . . Robin” run in combination to his general likability, Duke has a lot of friends all around Gotham. Okay, sure, he doesn’t have a Super best friend or a Speedster on speed dial, but he does know this guy who details cars up on West 35th and will tell them all about the new mods on Black Mask’s transport vans if they come through the third floor window and bring takeout.

Bruce and Tim will be waiting for the facial recognition software to identify at least a partial match off of security cam footage when Duke pulls into the cave, takes one look at the screen, and says “Oh, that’s <insert name, address, abridged life story, and known associates here>.” This also brings in the opportunity for Duke to have some sort of perfect recall for faces, voices, names, etc. which I think could be a really cool element for his position as the batfamily member who has a lot more personal interaction with the people of Gotham.

I’m also into the idea of a lot of people knowing/telling stories about Duke. Not to reference the Chuck Norris meme but almost like the Chuck Norris meme lmao. Think about Jason mentioning his brother to someone and she replies, “Duke Thomas? Like that Duke Thomas? The one who swam across the harbor because he said it’d be faster than the subway and it actually was?” These stories have varying levels of truth to them but Duke will never confirm nor deny when he gets random calls from family members yelling “you dID WHAT”

So those are my top three, and the following is a little speed-round of headcanons :)

Duke has a super expressive face. Like when he’s relaxed around family, you can tell exactly what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling by his visual reactions to things

Duke rotates through picking up new and revisiting old hobbies at a pretty rapid pace. Some hobbies include: bullet journaling, origami, viola, cello, synth, conversational basics in multiple languages, up-cycling and embroidering clothes

Duke has a really fucking adorable smile. He can’t help it. He’ll try to grin sarcastically or smug to be annoying but his smile just cannot be anything other than endearing. He also has a very specific booming laugh that’s an absolute treasure to hear, because it’s the most genuinely happy thing ever.

Duke unironically enjoys Signal by Twice even though the first time he heard it was after Steph had set it as his morning alarm.

So.

Come and get your food, I guess.

Feel free to add on if you’d like! I’d love to see anything you guys write/draw/etc. based on anything from here if you feel compelled to do so!

Stay safe and be well :)

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stxleslyds · 3 years

Text

NIGHTWING #81

UMM... HOW ABOUT NO.

Ever since Tom Taylor took over Nightwing I have only made a post about one issue of his (I will leave it here Nightwing #78), that issue was beautiful, it was a solid start and the little things that made me feel a bit icky were not mentioned in the post because the issue was good.

Then the issues felt like connectors or just very bland story wise. I had problems with the book also feeling like a Nightwing and (fake) Oracle book instead of just Nightwing. There were many instances where Dick alone could have gotten himself out of situations without Barbara, but because she was there the opportunity to show that he can do things was taken from him. I guess what I am trying to say is that the book has disappointed me but I didn’t feel like making a post because it was too early and this is an ongoing book that Taylor said he planned on continuing for a while, but now I can’t not make a post.

A few days ago, I finally read the Red Hood story in Urban Legends (I have a review for that one too I will link it here Red Hood part 4) and I couldn’t stand how OOC and disappointing the story/characterization has been. I am saying this because I am only reading these two books at the moment, ONLY these two, and all I have gotten from them is shit.

I know it’s still early to say that the Nightwing book is bad but…I hated this issue, I hated it with all of my heart. But now that I am a bit calmer, I have come up with some ideas of what is truly going on with the Melinda situation.

Anyway, let me give you my thoughts.

There are big Wilson Fisk vibes coming from both Blockbuster and Melinda Zucco. Those two will lie, manipulate and be evil every chance they get. They are working together to make Nightwing disappear. I know it. The whole “make us all much wealthier and to extend your power beyond the city” idea does not include Nightwing.

Melinda might not want to burn anything down but she sure isn’t a hero. This woman accepted the position of Mayor after watching Blockbuster kill the former mayor. I understand that talking with the BHPD isn’t the best idea but this woman feels way too comfortable in the presence of a killer.

She is cunning and she has plans, I strongly believe that she might be a villain and that she will betray Blockbuster and take all the power (if it reaches that point) to herself.

Heartless is just another weirdo, he tricks both Nightwing and the reader into thinking that he has a soft spot for kids but surprise! He doesn’t. There isn’t much to say about him, he just has very complex gadgets and doesn’t know how to fight. I don’t even have any ideas about who he might be.

What I know though is that there was absolutely no need for Dick to think that he had “underestimated” Heartless, my love you threw your stick at him while he was looking directly at you, there was a 50/50 chance of him catching it. I swear I don’t understand the need to write him thinking that mostly because Taylor then has Dick swiping the floor with the guy, not only is it a simple fight (for Dick) but it’s also boring for him. Taylor’s writing is so annoying sometimes, he just loves to write extra things that are out of place like the “Tim Drake. Thought of by many as the best Robin” why the fuck did he put that there? Honestly, what was the point of having Dick say that, I don’t read a Nightwing book to have Tim Drake praise. If it doesn’t offer anything to the story that is being told then keep the thought to yourself Tom...

Moving forward the scene in the pier was quite nice, mostly because it’s Dick’s quick thinking that gets everyone to safety, he knows exactly what to do and how to contact the Maritime distress channel.

He has hope for his city, he knows there is good in it and he believes help will show up when lives are about to be lost. I loved that, just like Heartless said, Nightwing IS Bludhaven’s Guardian Angel. Once again, I am having Daredevil vibes from Dick (like from the show)

After the fight we get to see consequences of Dick not healing properly from a shot to the head. He loses his consciousness which is extremely dangerous but luckily Tim is at arm’s reach to help him out of the pier.

There are many things I want to talk about from the scenes that happen after Dick wakes up in his apartment so here we go.

First of all, Bitewing is adorable, she loves Dick the most and was happy to see him awake once more, what a good girl!

Secondly, Barbara, honey, you do not have three names, you aren’t Batgirl anymore, you are a grown woman that needs to move on from a mantle that has other people that can do something else/better with it. And we all know that this Oracle is just the ableist version of Oracle. So yeah…all I ask is for Barbara to move on from Batgirl, Cass and Stephanie are right there, enough is enough.

In these panels we have Dick, Tim and Barbara being kinda dismissive about the homeless kids, and it has been happening for so many issues, what is the point, Taylor? You made Dick a millionaire and you just can’t have him say or think for a second that he will monetarily help those kids and make sure they are put somewhere safe? You are really going to wait up until you have Dick running for Mayor or something to help the kids? I just don’t get it. Kids living on the streets and each time they are mentioned the three heroes of the book act like it’s normal and doesn’t need fixing. What the fuck.

Then we have the gang finding out that Melinda Zucco is the new mayor, the woman has an FBI file and a redacted one! This makes me think two things, either things are like I thought in the beginning of the post (she is evil and very good at it) or this woman is actually FBI and she is undercover (this one is less likely because of what happens at the end of the issue).

What we can see from the file that Barbara found is very little, but in these two pictures we can see that maybe she was put in foster care and x age? Also, she was apparently investigated in April of 20xx, the investigation must have been recent, why would the FBI investigate a minor or college student? What if these files were implanted by Melinda for someone to find them, and for her to have some sort of proof of her lies? If the file is about her being left in foster care or something while would the file be redacted? I don’t know, everything about her is shady and I don’t trust anything from or about her.

This could be a complex and very interesting character but Tom Taylor and DC really love to do stupid shit for shock value (more of this later).

All the new information (the Maroni, Blockbuster and now this very shady Mayor) has Dick saying that it is a bit too much for him and yeah, it is too much, you know who could help? Red Hood. I am of course not talking about current DC comics Red Hood, I am talking about the Red Hood that I would love to see, just yesterday I had an ask about who would I like to see working with Jason and I said Nightwing because Dick puts a lot of responsibility on his shoulders so it would be nice if they negotiated and each could work on different crime areas in Bludhaven, if only DC would hear me…

Anyway, now that we come to the end of the scene let’s talk about Barbara’s shirt.

That was unnecessary and not funny. That’s all it was. Yeah, I know it’s a meme and I know it was included for funny ha-ha purposes but I am not laughing. Bruce has been written as abusive towards his kids for so long, Jason, Tim and Dick have been physically harmed by Bruce and writers use it as just something that happens, there are never repercussions for the Bat. And this shirt sucks because Dick was Robin there and he was a kid, so having Barbara or anyone wearing a shirt with Batman hitting Robin!Dick right in front of Dick is just disgusting. What if someone wore a shirt that had Joker beating Jason with a crowbar in front of Jason, would that be a funny ha-ha too? What about Dick wearing a shirt with the Joker shooting Barbara, is that a funny ha-ha? The answer to those questions is no, it’s not funny.

The idea of that shirt shouldn’t have been pitched, drawn or included after the editor took a look at it.

The picture is a meme in our world, not in theirs. And the readers aren’t laughing.

Back to the issue, Dick is left alone in his apartment to rest (seriously? You think the man that showed up to help Bruce in Gotham with a knee brace is going to rest?) but he can’t, he just found out that Mayor Zucco might be trouble for Bludhaven and might be working with not only Blockbuster but the Maroni family. He is not waiting one more second to have a chat with her.

Dick is obviously still concussed so of course he grabs a mask that has a camera that Oracle can view, and of course he enters yet another window without being careful.

Melinda and Audre were obviously waiting for him.

But here is where the real bullshit begins. Dick is unmasked.

I am so mad; it’s been four issues and Dick gets his ass in a trap and is unmasked by a villain? Are you kidding me right now?

But that’s not all, after Dick breaks free and accuses Melinda of being the daughter of the man that killed his parents, she pulls out a uno reverse card and says that her actual father is John Grayson, and that she is his sister.

How about no. Absolutely not. Go away.

Let’s re-visit Melinda’s appearances in the book so far so we can start theorizing about her real intentions or if she could be saying the truth.

Back in issue #78 where she is first introduced to us, after Melinda watches Blockbuster kill the mayor, she goes home and tells her Audre that she is now mayor because Blockbuster did what he does, so she knows that this guy is trash and a killer. But that’s not all, Audre asks her if she came across Dick Grayson to which Melinda answers “I am not ready for him yet”. Audre suggests she talks to him sooner rather than later because she might not have “another chance”, and the issue ends with Melinda agreeing with her while she is looking at a Flying Graysons poster with a red circle framing Dick’s face.

That whole thing? Shady. Melinda, obviously, wanted to talk to Dick Grayson, probably to tell him that she is his sister, but why is there a time limit, why is Audre telling Melinda that she can’t wait too long? Is it because her undercover work is ending soon? Is it because it’s not real at all and she needs to tell that lie in order to move forward with some sort of plan? I don’t know…

In issue #79 Melinda (and Audre) are out in the open with Maroni and they are talking about her becoming the next Mayor, Nightwing was watching from afar so this is his first contact with her. And it might be the first time that Melinda and her friend see Nightwing in action too. I cannot tell if she is aware that Nightwing/Dick Grayson are the same person here.

In #80 she doesn’t make an appearance.

But now in #81 she is taking her place as Mayor of Bludhaven, there Commissioner McClean takes her somewhere she didn’t expect to go (she is shown not knowing that Maroni and Blockbuster were in the next room over). Once in the room she refuses to take the cash from McClean but she will take the money as a transaction (for a second I thought she wouldn’t take the money but she did because she is very corrupt) and talks to Maroni once more. Before I talk about what happens with Blockbuster let me say this, she acts so distant to Maroni, she calls him Mr. Maroni every single time and she comes off as cold and feeling no type of way while talking with someone that is part of the family that actually raised her, and this is not because she is in a room full of other people, she did it too in #79. It seems weird that she acts that way with someone that took her under his wing since she was eight years old.

When she sits with Blockbuster he says “tell us your plan for my city” to which she says all of this: “My plan, Blockbuster, is to make us all much wealthier and to extend your power beyond the city. But to do so in a way that builds on the good work you’ve already done I have no interest in burning anything down.”

At the start of the post I said she gave me big Wilson Fisk vibes and that right there is why. She is shady, she has plans on top of plans, she calls Roland Desmond Blockbuster to his face but says that he has done good work for Bludhaven, which is weird because Blockbuster destroys Bludhaven a couple of times a year…

As I said before whatever she has planned does not include Nightwing, and here is where I kinda start theorizing a bit more, what if Blockbuster told Melinda Nightwing’s real name, he used to know who he was once upon a time…

Later in this issue when Nightwing is going to Melinda’s place Audre is already waiting for him right next to the window (with a sword), so, was he making an insane amount of noise or were they told to be ready for him?

Melinda traps him and takes his mask off, she barely seems surprised about Nightwing being Dick, she barely reacts when he jumps at her. She is in complete control of the situation and proves that by disarming Dick, as fast as he accuses her of being Zucco’s daughter she tells him that her real father is John Grayson.

She is in complete control. She has to be lying, she put a stop to whatever Dick had to say and do in seconds. This woman is trained and she is manipulative as fuck!

And if she isn’t lying then fuck DC and fuck Tom Taylor, this woman is either younger or the same age as Dick, John Grayson was not a cheater, the man is dead, has been dead for so long, don’t throw dirt on his name at this point. I refuse to believe this is true.

I honestly think that she is evil, and knows more than we are aware of, her first appearance was shady as fuck, let's suppose that she didn’t truly know that Dick was Nightwing, why on earth did she have a Flying Graysons poster with a red circle on top of Dick’s face? That doesn’t seem like something a sister would do! And why would this be information that is so important that she NEEDS to tell him in a certain amount of time?

It’s fucking insane. Tom Taylor, if she is actually Dick's sister then shame on you. Disgusting, what is with writers and cheating, what the hell is going on? Dick doesn’t need to think back to his parents and see a cheater in one of them. This better be Melinda being a cruel and vile human being that is trying to emotionally hurt Dick/Nightwing so she and Blockbuster can do whatever its they want to do.

That’s all I have to say.

#dick grayson #nightwing #nightwing 81 #dc comics #dc infinite frontier #melinda zucco #nightwing and bitewing #bitewing #blockbuster

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currentfandomkick · 4 years

Text

Selina Steals a Bug from Batman to get her Kitten.

blame this post here for this thing's inspiration, and a friend for encouraging this.

Selina paused when she saw ‘the lost Wayne’ news. She knew Bruce didn’t adopt another kid and forget to tell her—Dick kept her up-to-date on his new siblings and sent her pictures. No, her boyfriend Bruce Wayne would certainly not hide a new Wayne from her.

He absolutely would forget to introduce her to a new family friend or potential bat. She was still upset about how long it took him to admit that little Stephanie had been working with his son for months and he hadn’t thought to invite the girl over for a meal or two when Selina was over. It wasn’t like she didn’t already know Tim was dating another vigilante… it was that one of her not-technically-my-sons was not introducing her to someone who had saved his life multiple times and who happened to be another Gotham vigilante and another addition to the batfam.

Selina is their unofficial mother after all, she has rights. Any possible members of their little bat family, and she must assess them. at the very least, teach them more than just Bruce’s habits. The man was horrendous at showing his actual emotions, and the kids would need a counter example to that—herself obviously.

So imagine Selina’s surprise when she decided to surprise her boyfriend and his children with a visit, only to find a young teen drinking out of Tim’s favorite mug, wearing one of Dick’s more infamous Nightwing hoodie’s, and looking at one of Damian’s katana’s carefully.

“Who are you?” Selina had a feeling this was the latest “not a Wayne” and she would have to ensure her bats were safe from a fellow thief… again.

The teen looked up, almost startled by her appearance and nearly dropping the katana.

Selina raised an eyebrow.

The teen flushed. “Marinette.”

“And what,” Selina strolled over to the table and sat on its edge. “Exactly are you doing with all of these?”

The girl was smart enough to look a bit embarrassed, she'd give her that much. Not without shame. Good.

“Well, uh, kind of complicated, but, uh, the boys said that I couldn’t manage to grab their favorite things.”

Selina looked the girl over. She was probably the new one to the group, the spotted French girl Jagged Stone mentioned in a few of his songs. She was young, and clearly good at getting what she wanted.

“Where’s Jason’s?”

“Uh, how did you…”

“Answer the question.”

“… behind the gardener’s shed. He really needs to stop leaving his keys in easy access pockets.”

Selina nodded, looking over the girl. She was twisting a familiar looking ring… wasn’t that one of the Wayne family rings!?

“How did you get that off Bruce?” Selina feigned nonchalance.

“… don’t judge me.”

“Too late. Talk.”

“Accidentally, I swear, just, he left the safe open and mid-terms stress and then…” the girl gestured helplessly.

Selina could appreciate the honesty. She could also appreciate that the girl managed to get something off each boy.

But now came the real test.

“Kleptomaniac kind?”

The girl flushed harder. “Yeah… I was going to return it, eventually… I think.”

Selina looked over the girl once more, suddenly seeing an opportunity she should have taken back when she first saw Tim stalking her bats way back when. She could use her own mini.

“How do you feel about cats?”

Marinette shifted gears at that. “Real, memes, or Chat Noir?” Selina could feel there was a story there, one for another time. “If we’re talking real, they’re amazing, the memes are fun and Chat is…” the girl shook her head. “Complicated. And in London apparently, so he can’t judge me for my poor life choices.”

Oh, Selina likes this one. “I’m guessing you’re Brucie’s latest pet project?”

Marinette scrunched up her face at that. “I’m here to force a sense of fashion on this family if it kills me.”

Selina smiled at that. “Oh, I do believe we’re going to get along wonderfully.” She extended her hand. “I go by Catwoman in the field.”

Marinette paused for a moment before taking the extended hand with a grin of her own. “Ladybug—though we might want to go with something else for this... how do you feel about panjas bracelets?”

Selina’s grin grew. “Oh, we’re going to get along perfectly.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the Batcave there was a meeting being held by a distressed Nightwing, impatiently waiting for the others to finish arriving.

“Batgirl?”

“She’s not on tonight,” Red Robin answered, quietly sipping his espresso in one of his lesser mugs. It seems like his bean got to his favorite earlier…

“Black Bat?” Nightwing asked Batman.

“She’s running with the Birds of Prey tonight—Oracle’s idea.”

Nightwing seemed to accept this. “I’ll just forward them the power point.”

Red Robin groaned. “Another one?”

Red Hood shook his head. “Blame B. He got it in Dickie’s head that this is how you explain things to people. Bullet points.”

“No names in the field,” Robin snapped.

“No names in the field,” Red Hood mocked under his breath.

Robin glared at him for that.

“It’s a very effective method.” Batman stated defensively.

“Yeah, on the League,” Red Robin grumbled into his coffee. The Batfam is full of (not really) professional detectives—they are capable of understanding without the bullet points of doom. Mostly.

“Then I’ll just get started, Agent A, Lights!”

The batcave dimmed to show only the projection of a power point title slide ‘Marinette Cannot Meet Selina, Ever.’

“What the hell is this?” whispered Red Hood.

“I allowed you to delay patrol, for this?” Batman sighed.

“Silence! Nightwing is speaking.”

“Thank you Robin, now, Marinette is under no circumstances to meet Selina.”

“Why doesn’t he have to use codenames?” Red Hood wondered aloud. Only to be kicked by an aggressive Robin. “Ow! What the hell demon spawn!”

“Silence,” Robin hissed.

“As I Was Saying,” Nightwing loudly began. “Marinette is not allowed to meet Selina. It would be a disaster for us all.”

“Its not she’d adopt her like a certain someone is trying to,” Red Hood stated, pointedly ignoring Robin’s attempts to silence him with threats of violence.

Nightwing changed the slide with a sigh. “Exhibit A: Marinette enjoys shiny things, and so does Selina.”

The slide showed two pictures, one of Marinette in various miraculous while holding one of Damian’s daggers, and the other of Selina with a very large gemstone necklace.

“Exhibit B, they are both prone to theft.”

The next slide showed Catwoman stealing a necklace from a museum, and Marinette in Batman’s cape while using Tim’s phone and wearing one of Jason’s leather jackets, Titus laying at her feet.

“Marinette does not stop at shiny things, as we can expect of Selina,” Robin explained.

“You’re just mad Pixie managed to get past your security.”

Robin glared at Red Hood.

“That doesn’t explain why bean shouldn’t meet Selina,” Red Robin said. “Hm, maybe I should change the bean blend again? not getting enough of a buzz.”

Nightwing sighed, changing the slide again. “If the two meet, we lose all we hold dear.”

This time the slide showed a photoshopped Marinette and Selina sitting on a pile of miscellaneous objects.

Batman sighed, deciding his eldest was just being overdramatic again.

“Mari will learn new tricks from Selina.” Nightwing stated slowly. “Tag team with Selina, maybe even be the Robin to her Batman.” That got the room’s attention, albeit not the kind Nightwing wanted. “It would not just be Mari’s minor thefts anymore.”

Red Robin rolled his eyes while Red Hood snorted a “yeah right.”

Robin looked nervously as Nightwing finished his powerpoint.

“Mari would rule Gotham and no one, not even us, would be able to stop her.”

Batman decided that they wasted enough time on Nightwing’s bout of paranoia. “I highly doubt Selina would corrupt her.”

At that moment a beaming stripped heroine walked in, wearing a new string of necklaces, with Catwoman at her side with an amused look of her own.

“How dare you try to hide a kitten from me.”

Nightwing threw his hands up. “I told you!”

Batman stared while Robin began checking their systems… no alarms had gone off anywhere and they all knew the pair had stolen the necklaces that Marinette was sporting.

Nightwing was right.

“Holy shit is this really happening?” Red Robin half-whispered, looking back and forth between the pair and a shocked Batman. “Is Catmom pulling a Batdad?”

Catwoman flashed a smile. “Since someone wouldn’t let me take any birdies, I decided to take a kitten of my own.”

“Why didn’t you tell me I could have more moms here!” Marinette exclaimed.

At the groups growing look of horror, Catwoman’s grin grew. “Oh, I forgot to mention, Harley and Ivy are back. They want joint custody. She’s the Marigold Harley’s been tweeting about.”

---

first thing i do after getting real internet back plus have the time to think, and its write and post this. hope you all enjoyed!

#maribat #my writing #my fic #selina adopts marinette #why not?

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poppypickle · 3 years

Note

for the chenford hiatus fic meme - okay a little bit of angst!!! Lucy gets a serious boyfriend throughout s4 who she brings to Angela’s wedding and someone mentions Tim/Lucy never got around to dancing and they have to bc all the rookies and TO pairings have, so they dance

OKAY, so I started writing a PG version of this prompt fill for you @everylast-line, but then this smutty version would. not. leave. me. alone.

So I promise to finish the second version (which I swear actually fulfills the prompt 😘), but in the meantime, I hope ya'll enjoy this dirty little thang. To borrow a tag from @inthemovingcastle, no one is in character but everyone is horny.

---

“This is the last time.”

“You keep saying that,” Tim teases with a husky whisper into Lucy’s ear as he lazily pumps two fingers in and out of her. They’re in some kind of forgotten coat closet at Angela’s second wedding (well, her first successful one), and Lucy’s back is pressed against him as he dips his fingers into her wetness while deftly untying her wrap dress so his other hand can reach inside her bra to pinch her nipple. Tim had been too eager to undress her properly before thrusting his fingers inside of her, so her black lace panties are around her knees, stretched taut as she opens her legs to give him better access.

“I mean it this time,” Lucy tries to say, but the force of her words is undercut by a breathy moan when Tim presses his thumb against her clit.

“Sure you do,” Tim nods, adding a third finger to her heat and pulling her even tighter against him as her knees start to buckle. He dips his mouth down to the tattoo on her neck and starts to suck.

Lucy tries to swat at him, but ends up twisting her fingers into his hair instead as he speeds up the pace of his fingers. “Don’t leave a mark,” she manages to say between moans.

Tim presses his thumb even more firmly against her clit in that way he knows drives her crazy. “I’m gonna leave a mark,” he whispers, his breath hot against her skin. “And then you’re gonna tell me what lie you told Shane to cover it up this time.”

“Shawn,” Lucy grunts, grinding against his hand frantically like she always does when she’s close.

“I...don’t...care.” Tim punctuates the last word by biting down on her neck, and the sensation is enough to drive Lucy over the edge. She lets out a high-pitched groan and shudders against him, pulling his hair so hard Tim sees stars for a minute. It’s so unbelievably hot he thinks he might come right then, with his hardened cock pressed against her ass through several layers of clothing. But he has other plans.

“Does Shawn make you come like that?” He asks with a throaty whisper, enjoying the way she’s still spasming against his fingers.

Lucy pushes away and turns to glare at him. Her cheeks are flushed pink and the front of her dress is open, displaying the black lace bra Tim knows she wore especially for him. “At least Shawn can kiss me in public.”

“How sweet,” Tim drawls, shrugging out of his tux coat and draping it on a rack before taking a step towards her, his smile predatory. “But that’s not what I asked.”

“You’re a pain in my ass.” But Lucy’s also kicking off her panties and moving towards him. She reaches down to undo his belt and slips her hand inside his pants. “Sir.”

Tim groans as she works his pants and boxers down, swiping her thumb across the tip of his dick before starting to stroke him with practiced precision. “I love it when you call me sir.”

“Every time I say it at work, I get a little wet,” Lucy murmurs, dropping down to her knees in front of him.

“We don’t really have time for this --” Tim starts to say, but then she’s taking him fully into her mouth and the tip of his cock is hitting the back of her throat and he can’t even remember his name, much less what he was just saying.

Lucy pulls back for a second, but keeps stroking him with her hand. “Maybe I like making him wait.”

Then her mouth is back on him, and Tim moans as he threads his fingers through her hair. He wants to watch her like this — on her knees with her dress half open, still shivering from her orgasm while she sucks his dick — for hours, days, weeks. But Tim’s also certain that if he doesn’t fuck her right this second he’ll go insane.

“But you’re not gonna make me wait, are you baby?” Tim pulls Lucy up to her feet and crashes his mouth against hers. In one fluid motion he grabs her ass with both hands and lifts her up so that her back is pressed against the wall. Lucy grabs hold of one of the clothing racks next to her and uses the leverage to lift herself up so that her heat is poised just above his cock. Tim can feel her heels digging into his ass and her wetness dripping against him, but he holds still. “Tell me what you want,” he demands with a husky whisper against her mouth, pressing the tip of his dick a fraction of an inch closer to her.

“Tim…” Lucy whines, straining against him desperately as he holds them both firmly in place. A bead of sweat has formed in the space between her breasts, and Tim dips his head forward to lick at it.

“Tell me what you want,” he says again, pressing himself into her just one more delicious inch.

“Fuck,” she groans, throwing her head back against the wall. “I want you to fuck me Tim. Please just fuck me,” she begs.

But Tim doesn’t move a muscle. “And why do you want me to fuck you, Lucy?” he teases, squeezing her ass with his fingers as his thumbs press against her hips, holding her in place.

She scowls at him, panting from pure want as she manages to grit out, “Because he doesn’t fuck me like you do.”

Tim sinks into her fully without warning then, slamming her back against the wall with such force he’s almost certain it will leave a bruise. His strokes are hard and fast as he starts fucking her in earnest, Lucy’s loud moans echoing all around them in the tiny room.

Tim lifts one hand up and presses it against her mouth. “You’re gonna get us caught.”

Lucy darts her tongue out and opens her mouth to take in two of his fingers, and now it’s Tim’s turn to groan loudly as she sucks her own taste off of him. She gives him a devilish look as if to say who’s gonna get us caught now?

Tim reluctantly pulls his fingers out of her mouth as he continues to slam into her, working his hand down between her legs to press against her clit instead. Lucy’s moans start to turn into low screams as he fucks her relentlessly, working her clit mercilessly with his fingers as he pushes them both closer and closer to the edge.

Tim dips his head forward and bites at Lucy’s nipple through her bra, and she claws at his back as her head lolls back and forth, her eyes rolled back with pleasure.

They are both close — so close — when Lucy threads her fingers through his hair and pulls Tim’s face up to hers so she can look him right in the eye. “Every time he fucks me, I’m thinking about you,” she grunts out in time with his thrusts. And then she’s coming apart, shaking and shuddering with a sharp howl. The sound she makes, coupled with the way her pussy tightens around him like a vice grip, sends Tim over the edge as well, and he spills himself inside of her with a throaty groan.

They stay like that for a while, their sweaty bodies pressed together as they both struggle to catch their breaths. Tim finally steps back, turning to reach into his tux jacket for a handkerchief to give her. They do their best to right themselves in silence. Lucy reties her wrap dress while Tim pulls on his pants and attempts to straighten out his now wrinkled shirt. She smooths down her hair with a few pats, then turns to him.

“How do I look?”

Tim smirks, looking her up and down with lazy, satisfied heat in her eyes. “Like someone just fucked you senseless in a coat closet.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but Tim just shrugs and tips his chin toward her neck with a wolfish grin. “And like someone gave you a nasty hickey.”

“This is the last time, really,” she says, reaching out a hand for her purse, which is lying on the floor behind Tim.

He laughs as he bends down to pick it up. Tim extends it to her, but doesn’t let go when she tries to grab it from him.

“This is most definitely not the last time I’m fucking you,” he says, his voice low and laced with heat. “Now we can either keep fucking while you hold onto Shawn like he’s some kind of dickless security blanket, or we can do this for real, with just the two of us.”

Tim lets go of her purse, but holds her gaze, his eyes challenging. “But I think you get off on the sneaking around.”

Lucy purses her lips, flushing just the slightest bit, but doesn’t say anything. Then she bends down to pick her panties up off the floor and starts to put them into her purse. She pauses for a moment, fingering the lacy scrap of clothing thoughtfully. Then she tosses them to Tim with a casual flick instead.

“I’ll text you later,” she says in a clipped tone, then disappears out the door without another word.

Tim shakes his head, but finds himself grinning as he slips her still damp panties into the pocket of his pants. Last time his ass.

#chenford #this is rated m #don't ask me why anyone acts the way they do in this #they just do because I thought it was hot #and that's enough #prompt fill #chenford fic

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anythingbutdead · 2 years

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Recently down to the rabbit hole and read Batfamily fanfics (because found family is my thing) and new thing I learn from them are (but not limited to):

(Okay so disclaimer idk much about DC so don’t come at me and also I don’t have enough sleep lately don’t take this serious and this is a conclusion with fanfics/fanon I have read so far)

- Dick is the Golden Boy/Boy Wonder. Can and will make friends with anything. Cereal lover. The butts match meme start because of him. Maybe. Which is very weird.

- Dick is also a bit, well, a dick. Which is totally ok.

- Jason not only the only one can cook he can also make meals like Alfred. Can and will read every books in the world (same).

- JASON DESERVE BETTER—which is not news to me but still—FUCK WHOEVER SAID OTHERWISE! Yeah killing is not good blah blah blah don’t care he is not the only one who kills and not like it’s irl.

- Tim. Sleep is not for the weak his brain just refuse to let him rest. Also smart af but still with his parents’s A+ parenting he is very much fucked up.

- Most suicidal in this family for reasons. Tim also aren’t that addict to coffee right why people make him can’t function without coffee? Also: spleen.

- Damian! Animals are lovelier than human yes. And they are very straight forward no lie and such I feel you.

- Thought blood related is the reason what makes a real family. Aka if not blood related why will people care about him??? Silently trying to be a better human (I guess?)?

- Cassandra. Cass! She is everyone’s favourite. I will also die for her. If there’s really a hero in irl and in HK she is what I want. Words are very hard yes.

- She deserve every love in the world. Too much love can’t think of anything else about her.

- Barbara. Not officially but still. Cool af.

- Duke! Not many fics about him but also 💯

- Stephanie. Cool af also. Do I want a friend like her? Yes. Probably the only one in this batfamily? She’s the top of the list.

- (don’t know enough about Harper and Cullen as same as Duke but also need protection in general. I’m the eldest sibling if you are also one you probably know that feel)

And also confirm Alfred is very very very important. Yes I want a grandparent like him also. There won’t be Batman or Bruce Wayne if there’s no Alfred. And he will lives forever and ever.

#DC #batfamily #again found family is very important #Matilda is my favourite book and the first (and few) English book I finish reading #too old and tried to start a new show/series #but since I grow up with TV showing DC cartoons even I don’t understand English #and later Smallville which means I should keep find more about Superman/Clark Kent and Lex Luthor #many dark stuff tho which. I was planing to read fluffy things #why did I do this to myself #also as the eldest sibling #Dick Grayson you are doing fine :D #canon and fanon isn’t the same thing but also like both are kinda good and bad

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uncpanda · 4 years

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The Very Long Week

Thanks to @simplysophi for sending this to me. We all need a little crack fanfic sometimes. This oneshot is based on this: https://excuseme-howdareyou.tumblr.com/post/190994105747/a-list-of-things-batman-has-overheard-on-the

You find your husband waiting for you one the front porch step. He has a glass of scotch in one hand, a cigar in his mouth, and he looks like he hasn’t slept in days. You leave your bags in the car and go to sit next to him, “Long week?”

His head falls to your shoulder, he’s quiet for a minute, and then he says, “Your children are exhausting.”

You laugh, “My children?”

He nods, his head still against your shoulder, “I’m too old for this shit Y/N. All week they’ve been reciting memes.”

“You know what a meme is?”

“I didn’t before, but I do now. All week, I’ve had to research the shit they’ve been talking about. Granted, I figured yeet out fairly quickly when Jason threw Tim off a roof, and it was confirmed when Dick said it as he threw a batarang. But the other stuff I had to look up. At one point they started talking about Captain America, so I had to go watch that movie. How he survived I don’t know, but I came up with six different ways to take him down within the first three minutes after his transformation.”

It takes you a minute to put things together, “Oh you’re talking about the little video with him and the . . . yeah.”

“And it only got worse from there. They started making monetary bets on different jumps. Damian nearly killed himself with one. And then Jason decided to bring Roy along one night thinking I wouldn’t notice.”

“Which of course you did.”

“He’s kind of hard to miss. The kid nearly tazed a guy in a wheelchair. Sure he was swinging a pipe, but it would have been really easy just to take it away. Dick stopped him, but Jason was there in the background going. . .I can’t even say it.”

You pinch his thigh, “You have to. You can’t leave me in suspense.”

Your husband sighs, “He’s going, Let's get ready to rrrrrrrrrrumbleeeeee! At one point things got bad enough that Tim suggested letting the police handle things.”

Before he can say anything else you hear glass shatter and Damian yell, “If anyone asks, that window was always broken."

Bruce throws back the rest of his drink, and you run your fingers through his hair in an effort to soothe him. “How about you head up to our room, and we can take a nice relaxing bath together.”

“They’ll burn down the house without us around.”

“I’ll take care of the boys, you head on up.”

He nodds and you watch him head inside and up the stairs. You go out into the back yard, past the broken window, and find your boys. “I told you guys to make sure he had fun this week.”

They stare at you, before Duke says, “We did. We broke out all of the best memes, quoted some awesome vines, and made sure to add in a little humor.”

“Do you not know your father? Humor is not how he has a good time. All that stuff did was stress him out.”

Dick nodds, “Yeah, we should have considered our audience more closely.”

“Damn it guys! I was counting on you.”

Jason cocks his head, “Why did you want him to have a good week with us anyway? You get into some trouble or something?”

You wince, “I wouldn’t say trouble per-say.”

Jason grins, “Ma, did you shoot somebody?”

Damian grins and leans forward in anticipation, and you scowl, “No you dolts! I’m pregnant. I had hoped a fun weekend with his sons would put him in a good mood for when I told him, hopefully have him excited. At this rate I’m not going to be able to tell him until the kid is in college.”

They stare at you in shock, and a voice croaks behind you, “Pregnant?”

You turn just in time to see the great Batman faint, nothing with this family was ever easy.

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daringyounggrayson · 3 years

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first lines: fic-writers meme

thanks @thychesters and @romanticism-is-maudlinism for tagging me! <3

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns. choose your favorite opening line. then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

1) we'll carry on: “Batman, you must get up. I’ve allowed you too much rest as it is.”

2) the trolley problem: “Here’s how this is going to work.” Dick winces as the gun is shoved harder against his temple. “Step away from the merchandise and let my buddy drive off, and I’ll let the kid go bullet-free.”

3) vacation town: The bust is a success and the criminals are all tied up and waiting for the squad cars in a matter of minutes.

4) Safe: It starts with a distress call from Dick.

5) the need to be wanted: "Mr. Wayne!” a photographer calls, waving his arm toward their small group as they try to make their way inside. “A picture of you and your sons, if you wouldn’t mind?”

6) gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand: As much as Dick wants to idealize the early days, when he really thinks about it, he and Bruce have always had their problems.

7) there's no comfort in the waiting room: Sometimes Tim realizes how weird it is that he has Jason Todd’s number saved in his phone.

8) digging my own grave: In retrospect, Dick made a lot of stupid decisions tonight.

9) little soldier boy, come marching home: Being dead, Jason has learned, means that he can sense death.

10) brave soldier boy: Dick must pass out, because one second he’s wobbling on his knees, gasping and clutching his stomach, and the next, he’s on his back, staring up at Tim.

11) the ache runs deep: Earthquakes have been happening on and off all day, none of which could be blamed on natural causes.

12) to love is not to leave: The click of the door being unlocked is enough to wake him.

13) Temporary: It starts the way most of these things do: with screaming.

14) like brothers on a hotel bed: “Nightwing?”

15) medicine: Dick doesn’t know how long he’s been here, just that here is a terrible place.

16) (partner to) the world's greatest detective: There's a splitting pain in the back of Dick's head.

17) don’t you ever grow up (just stay this little): The sound of tiny feet slapping against the wood floor wakes him up, but it’s the tiny hands pushing against his side, trying to push him back and forth, that make him open his eyes.

18) tell me everything will be alright: Dick feels sore and like his head is about to explode.

19) Vacation: “You know,” Dick says, lifting his head from the car window to look at Bruce, “some people actually look forward to vacations.”

20) i scream, you scream: Dick releases his grapple gun early, flinging himself into a flip—toes pointed (well, as much as the Robin boots will allow)—and landing perfectly on the ground, arms up and without a single wobble.

my first thought was that I use the first line to kind of set the scene, but that’s just what first lines are for in general sdfjgksdflkjg. other than that original insight, I guess I tend to introduce an injury or threat in the opening line

my favorite opening line: Dick must pass out, because one second he’s wobbling on his knees, gasping and clutching his stomach, and the next, he’s on his back, staring up at Tim.

I can’t remember who’s already been tagged, so I’m just tagging anyone who hasn’t done this yet and would like to!

#isn't it funny that i have two (2) fics with 'vacation' as part of the title but neither one is actually a vacation fic #they're just injury recovery fics lmao #tag game

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elareine · 3 years

Note

Hmm.. number 7. "What’s your favourite piece of description or narration?" for the ask meme?

Thank you for the question :D The first bit that came to mind was from Safe with me:

In his mind, Tim hears Jason say, I’m just not made for trusting, and thinks: Bullshit. Jason is made for trusting, so much, so beautifully that it’s dangerous, that he’s had to protect himself. Tim is intent on showing him what a gift he is.

I’ve been trying not to be too sappy for a while now, but I’ve also noticed that the best bits of narration - in my opinion - tend to happen when I don’t hold back. Guess I gotta try to find that balance.

For something funnier, I like this sentence from We wanted miracles (they didn't happen):

(Dick had long suspected that Earth was the galactic equivalent of the ‘It’s free real estate’ meme.)

That fic sure goes to some places, but I like mixing in humor, and Dick’s PoV is perfect for that.

Finally, in terms of pure description, I like this from rewind, fast forward, stop:

The thing with Tim was: He could be thrown off a building, and his brain would still keep on working all the way down. (No, seriously, that happened several times.) It was just how it was. So he could be shocked at what was happening, at what he’d just learned about Jason, and still notice that Dick wasn’t.

(Fic writer ask meme!)

#elareine writes #jaydick #jaytim #batfamily

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mischiefandspirits · 3 years

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Odd One Out

“Guys, holy fuck!” Jason shouted, kicking open the door to the living room.

“Language, Master Jason,” Alfred’s voice floated down the hall while Barbara said, “Don’t be a meme, Redjay.”

“Sorry, Alfred! Shut it, Barbie, I got news!”

“I swear, the next time he calls me Barbie I’m changing all his ringtones to Barbie Girl,” she muttered, moving her queen.

“He’d probably like that,” Tim said, moving his rook.

“What’s up, Little Wing?” Dick asked, glancing up from the work he was doing on Cass’s nails for half a second.

“Everyone thinks we’re normal humans!”

The batkids all paused to look up at the third oldest.

“I mean, isn’t making everyone think all the Waynes are normal human people the point?” Stephanie asked from where she was playing Mario Kart with Carrie and Duke.

“Not the Waynes, the Bats. And before you say something: Yes, I know that’s also the point. I’m not talking about the villains and civilians, I’m talking about the JL and Titans and Outlaws and everyone! They all think we’re normal!”

“Todd, don’t be absurd,” Damian tisked, returning his focus to the drawing of Titus he was working on.

“I’m serious! I snuck into Roy’s to play a prank and heard him talking to Kory while she was on a video call with the Titans. He flat out said it was weird how we finally have someone in the family who’s not baseline human,” Jason said, gesturing towards Duke, “and no one corrected him!”

There was a moment of silence.

“No,” Dick said. “They have to know, right?”

“Have we ever actually told anyone?” Barbara said, her face pinched. She had to have told some of the Birds of Prey… right?

“Grayson used to have his wings out as Robin. Surely the Titans, at least, would have noticed,” Damian argued.

“I couldn’t use them when I was that young. I just let them hang like a cape to match B,” Dick said, eyes lighting up as he realized no, people didn’t know and yes, this could be very hilarious.

“They thought they were fake!” Carrie laughed, mind following the same path. To Jason, she said, “Please tell me you didn’t correct them.”

“Never even knew I was there. Would have ruined the prank.”

“If I’d known no one knows about you guys, I would have kept quiet too,” Duke chuckled.

“We told you before, it’s fine. You can’t exactly turn yours off like we can,” Dick said.

“I know you’ve shadow-traveled around your Young Justice buddies,” Stephanie told Tim. “They have to know.”

“It’s not like I’ve traveled far,” Tim pointed out. “And I’ve only done it twice. It’s not too unbelievable that I pulled a Bat.”

“Okay, fair.”

“But Raven and Damian are together often. She must have noticed,” Cass said using Dick’s mouth.

The youngest’s shoulders crept up. “I have always blocked my power while in her presence as I was not sure how our powers would affect each other or how my existence would affect her given her… discomfort with her own existence.”

“Aw, Dami! That’s so sweet!”

“I simply wished to avoid confrontation. Do not look further into it, Richard!”

“Too late! You care about her feelings and went out of your way to make her feel more comfortable! I’m so proud!”

The boy scowled at his drawing, his cheeks tinted black.

“Jason died,” Duke said, eyes widening. “Someone must have noticed that, right? Wasn’t Superman involved in the aftermath?”

“Duke, buddy,” Jason said, wrapping his arm around his newest brother. “People die in this business, and they rarely stay that way. No one really questions it anymore.”

“Besides, no one actually knows he died,” Dick said. “B only told Superman that Joker had hurt Jay. Timmy found out, -”

“And went absolutely crazy,” Jason joked.

“I think I responded accordingly considering I’d just found out you’d died and nothing in my research -”

“Stalking.”

“- told me you would come back,” Tim huffed.

“- but obviously he wasn’t going to say anything to anyone without speaking to us first,” Dick finished, ignoring his brothers’ interruption.

“So no one knows,” Barbara said.

“No one knows,” Dick agreed, then continued as Cass took over again, “And we will not tell them?”

“Hell no. This is great,” Jason said.

“What’s great?” Selina asked as she and Bruce came in.

“Everyone and their mother thinks Duke is the odd one out in the Bat-Squad instead of Bruce,” Stephanie said.

“It suddenly occurred to us that no one outside the family knows none of us are baseline human, even our allies,” Tim explained when the Cat gave a bemused look.

Bruce nodded, but Selina frowned. “Wait, all? I know Duke has his photokinetic vision, Carrie can shapeshift, and Damian’s mother is half-demon, but the rest of you?”

Jason set his hand on his chest. “And you call yourself our mother.”

Selina turned to Bruce, who sighed. He pointed at Dick. “Half-siren.”

His eldest son smiled and the blanket on his shoulders fell as the large wings underneath spread out, primarily black with hints of reds and yellows glinting in the light. Suddenly everyone could notice the feathers among his hair, the talons on his hands, and the way his sclerae almost couldn’t be seen around the bright blue of his irises.

Bruce pointed at Barbara. “Technokinesis.”

“Low level,” she added. “It’s more like my brain is another screen and interface for the device I’m working with than actually being able to control anything.”

Jason was next. “Phoenix.”

The young man smirked then, for just a moment, he was replaced by a bird as large as he was tall. Shaped like a secretary bird but with a fantail, his feathers were a swirl of reds, yellows, and oranges while his eyes were blue flames. One of his wings was draped over Duke’s shoulder while a warmth spread from him that somehow felt both soothing and dangerous. Then the moment passed and he looked as normal as ever.

Tim. “Umbrakinesis.”

Shadows rose from the chessboard to move the last standing black knight forward and to the left. “Checkmate.”

“What? No! I almost had you!”

Stephanie. “Poltergeist.”

The girl pulled a golden bracelet off her wrist and her body went transparent. She slipped it back on with a shrug and her body turned opaque once more.

Cass. “Telepathy through touch.”

The girl got up and grabbed Selina’s wrist, sending her an image of them hugging.

Selina looked around at them all then turned to her fiancé. “You really are the odd one out.”

He grunted.

“For the record, we were counting you in that,” Tim said. “We all know you can communicate with and control felines.”

“Yeah, I figured.” She didn’t like people knowing about her secret weapon, but she didn’t expect to keep it from the Bat’s family either. “Which only makes this more unbelievable. How did this even happen?”

A small smile tugged at Bruce’s lips as the kids shared a look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfred isn't human either, but no one knows what he is. Just that he's very ancient.

Sequel: Exploration

#batman #batfam #everyone has powers #but bruce

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redhoodssweetheart · 4 years

Text

Legally Dead

Genre: Idk honestly

Relationship: No romantic relations

Requested: No, but it is based on this post that @idkmanicantenglish sent me (MY REQUESTS ARE CLOSED)

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Little bit of angst, fluff, mentions of character death (it’s undone)

Description: Jason died nearly two years ago. People that knew and loved him mourned and moved on. Now he’s back after being resurrected and trying to get the courts to declare him not dead.

Jason had technically died. The joker had killed him and there had been a funeral and a grave site for him. His friends and family had mourned and slowly moved on with their lives. His death had made headlines in Gotham. Front page news articles in all caps shouting about how the second adopted son of Bruce Wayne had passed away.

Then Jason had come back.

He had been in limbo for a while, on his own traveling, being a vigilante. He wasn’t sure what he should do with his life. What could he do? He was dead.

Talia al Ghoul had taken him in after he had been resurrected and trained him, helped him. She helped him harness some of the anger that he felt towards Bruce and Joker and himself. He wasn’t the same as he was before he died, but then again who would be?

Now he was back in Gotham, back with Bruce and the others. He now had two new brothers. Tim and Damian. Both of whom had taken over the Robin role. There was also Cassandra and Duke. Coming back to Gotham had been hard especially when the others hadn’t known who he was. It had taken them a while to warm up to the idea that he was still alive. For the most part, he stayed out of the limelight. He didn’t do much or go anywhere during daylight hours.

Bruce had asked him if he wanted to come back, but Jason wasn’t ready for that just yet. He wasn’t sure if he ever would if he were being honest.

One day Tim had dragged him out of the manor to go get some software upgrades for his computers and someone had seen Jason and Tim together. Soon a photo was circulating around the internet with the captions “Is Jason Todd, long thought dead son of Bruce Wayne, still alive?”.

Jason had wanted to bang his head against a wall after seeing the semi-blurry image of him and Tim together.

Soon there were conspiracy theories going around saying that Jason had faked his death, that he had been kidnapped and presumed dead, or that - and this was his favorite - he had been abducted by aliens.

“I think that was one of the theories Ryan presented on your episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved,” Dick said as he was scrolling through his Twitter feed which was going crazy with memes and theories galore about Jason. “Damian rolled his eyes and asked why any alien would want to abducted you.”

Jason shot a look at his younger brother, “I will have you know I am a delight to be around.”

Damian, unruffled by Jason’s glare, merely arched an eyebrow, “Keep telling yourself that, Todd.”

Bruce sauntered into the room and threw a Gotham Times down onto the table. In big, bold letters read JASON TODD HAS RETURNED. The boys all looked at Bruce who now had his arms crossed against his chest. “So are we confirming that you’re still alive or claiming that this is just someone that looks a lot like you?”

Jason read over the article. All it said was that someone had managed to capture and image of the supposed Jason Todd who had died early two years prior in a horrible, undisclosed accident. It also went into all the theories behind his disappearance - sans the alien abduction. He thought over his options and what he wanted to do from here. “Maybe it is time I come out of the shadows,” his gaze met Bruce’s. “There’s no way the people of the internet are gonna let this go. Especially if we say that it’s just someone who looks a lot like me.”

“I’ll set up a press release then,” Bruce said as he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone and make a few calls. He knew that this would be huge news and put a lot of pressure on Bruce. He also knew that he was going to have to get himself declared not dead with the courts which was going to be fun.

He just hoped that this would blow over rather quickly and he could get back to his life.

A few days later Jason was standing beside Bruce inside of Wayne Enterprises where a press conference was about to be held. It seemed like every reporter in Gotham and from all over the country had shown up to squeeze inside the tiny room that was meant for press releases just like this one. Suddenly Jason wondered if this was such a good idea.

The story was the Jason had been kidnapped by an unknown person and he had managed to escape back to Gotham. It was flimsy at best but what else could they say? Yeah he died, but somehow the timeline got screwed up and now he was back? That wouldn’t go over well with the public and then they would have a whole new set of questions to deal with.

Bruce stepped up to the podium and smiled at the crowd, “I know you all are anxious to ask your questions about Jason and where he’s been all this time. Please know that he’s had a very traumatic experience and we’re just happy to have him home. He’s safe and healthy and I’m grateful that he was able to make his way home. Please ask your questions one at a time and we’ll try to get to everyone before our time is up.”

Bruce motion for Jason to step up to the podium and stepped aside to allow him room. Jason stared out over the sea of faces and took a deep breath before choosing the first reporter to ask their question. All was going well until one asked, “So Mr. Todd are you going to have the courts declare you no longer legally dead?”

Jason gripped the sides of the podium and contemplated his answer, “I guess I should. I mean I’m clearly not dead. Bruce and I have been discussing it for some time now,” that was a lie, “but his main priority before subjecting me to that was just letting me get back into a normal routine.”

More hands shot up but Bruce came to the rescue and claimed that they were out of time for the day. He ushered Jason away some of the reporters shouting their questions at Jason in a last-ditch effort to get the answers they wanted.

“Well Shane this is a first for us,” Ryan was saying. Dick, Damian, and Tim were huddled around a laptop a week after the press release. Apparently Buzzfeed Unsolved had decided to add a continuation for Jason’s story on their show. “One of our unsolved cases has been semi-solved.”

“To be honest I didn’t ever think this was going to happen,” Shane said as he leaned back in his chair. “I mean come on. How did this guy survive so long in captivity?”

“I know!” Ryan shouted. “I mean yeah he’s home safe now, but who had him? Where was he? How did he escape? The answers at the press conference the Waynes held was flimsy at best.”

Jason closed the laptop effectively shutting Ryan and Shane up. “Hey!” Tim protested. “We were watching that.”

“And now you’re not,” Jason smirked at his younger brother. “Come on and get dressed. We have court in an hour and Bruce wants all of you looking your best.”

The three of them got up, grumbling about how they wanted to see Ryan’s new theories on Jason’s disappearance and if the alien story was going to come back up again. Bruce had been watching from the doorway, fixing his cufflinks. “Are you nervous?”

Jason looked at his adoptive father and shrugged, “Maybe a little? I didn’t think I would be going through this if I’m being honest. I hadn’t ever really planned to let people know that I was still alive. I liked the fact that I was ghost of some sort.”

“The boys and I will be there with you, Jason,” Bruce assured him. “And I know that these last few years have been hard on you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you and I’m sorry that I let you down. There were many times when I wished I could go back and do that whole night over again.”

Jason felt a lump in his throat at Bruce’s words, “Listen it is what it is and it can’t be helped. We both made choices and now we’re here. Let’s just get this court hearing over with and try to move on with our lives.”

Reporters were swarming the courthouse when the Waynes’ car pulled up in front of the steps leading inside. They shouted Jason’s and Bruce’s names trying to get more for their stories. The whole city had been on the edges of their seats waiting for this day to come. Jason looked around and saw some people with signs saying “WELCOME BACK JASON”, “I LOVE YOU JASON”, “I KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE”. He chuckled and ducked his head trying to keep the photographers from seeing his smile.

Inside was much calmer but there were still people there to see the outcome of this court case today. The judge came and began reviewing the details of what had happened. She looked at Jason with an arched eyebrow, “Mr. Todd, is it true that you were held against your will and believed to be dead for the past two years?”

“Yes, your Honor,” Jason replied.

“And you wish to be declared no dead?”

“Yes, your Honor,” he said again.

The judge was quiet for a moment looking from her papers to Jason and back to her papers once again. She seemed to be mulling this over and Jason wondered why she had to think about this. Clearly he was alive so what was the problem?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Todd. You will remain legally dead,” the judge pounded the gavel and Jason and Bruce shared a wide-eyed bewildered look with one another. Even Jason’s brothers shot out of their seats to protest, but the judge was already leaving the room. A hush fell over the room as everyone stared at each other in confusion.

“So does this mean that if I commit a crime that I can’t actually be charged with it because I’m not technically alive in the eyes of the court?” Jason asked causing Bruce to facepalm and the room to break out into laughter.

And from that day forward, despite the fact that he was very much alive, Jason was legally dead.

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